Konich-Witches in movies haven’t been doing that well lately. Recently Anne Hathaway had to apologise for her role as the Grand High Witch in the new adaptation of Roald Dahl’s children’s book. Apparently the community was at an outrage because the author wrote that these witches had three fingers just.. and Anne Hathaway had the audacity.. to portray a character with three fingers. It was an insult to everyone with Limb Difference.. said the community.. you are portraying us as evil…So Anne had to apologise…. The Craft Legacy.. does the exact opposite.. It tries to be as inclusive as possible and not offend anyone…. unfortunately just including “everyone” doesn’t make a good film. Mostly because while everything is here.. no one has any personality whatsoever.
Un-EARTH-ing the Origins
Written and Directed by Zoey Lister-Jones this movie is a sequel to the 1996 movie “The Craft” Directed by Andrew Fleming and Written by Filardi. The sequel currently holds a 4,3 out of 10 on IMDB and has a Metacritic score of 3.4 from the audience. The Craft from 1996 is one of my favourite witch movies.. and I love it for how amazingly 90’s that movie is. From the title crawl to the end of the movie.. it almost is so culty that it feels like a family guy 90’s movie spoof. The Craft Legacy is connected to the original in the most loose way possible and only comes into play at the end of the movie.. otherwise it is unconnected. What the two do have in common though is how anchored they are in this time. This movie is SO ridiculously 2020 that I think in 5 years it will be hilarious and a lot better than it is now.
This movie IS SO insanely politically correct it is almost hilarious. Do not get me wrong.. I am all about inclusion.. but this group of four is so ultra inclusive between the four of them.. that it kind of feels like one of those “A Rabbi and Priest and a Imam walk into a bar “ jokes. There is our main actress, who plays the white girl Lillith..she is the one why this movie is called Legacy.. then we have Frankie who seems to have slight hispanic roots, Tabby is our melanated character and Lourdes is the trans-witch. Again.. I do think this idea is awesome.. I love that they went in this direction.. this should be possible… however.. when you realise we do not even learn Lourdes and Tabby’s name in the entire movie.. you realise we are in trouble. Of the four main characters.. two aren’t really named on screen..ever..I might have missed it.. but if I did so did my friend.
Please FIRE the director
I am not a fan of cancel culture.. I do think we should work hard to make Hollywood a place for everyone.. but that Anne Hathaway stunt I mentioned earlier.. I find very dumb.. For one Witches are written to not be humans.. so a different physiology should not be taken in offence whatsoever.. by that standard Baby Yoda would and Yoda would depict people with less fingers as having very weird eating habits. No witches in this variant are not humans.. even if there are other definitions of witches. Do not question EVERYTHING or involve everything to yourself.. is my rule. Now I think the movie makes all the right inclusions.. but are they really inclusions?! I am not so sure… when you want to include people .. make sure they are actually included.. as characters. If you want to make a trans person a witch do write her to be at least a bit interesting. I don’t Lourdes being a trans woman should affect the plot or anything but at least let her say her name.. instead of saying she doesn’t get periods.. She doesn’t have an identity…. and the only thing she mentions is a few spells and a few comments on being Trans that’s not a real person. Same goes for any of the other old hollywood-shunned acting people.
Fairly early in the movie the girls enchant the stereotypical bully jock into being nicer. It turns out he actually has more depth.. or so they would like to believe… because he then spouts politically correct exposition explaining what a cis-gender , explaining women rights . He also is bi-sexual .. which seems to be a plot point but doesn’t go anywhere. He cries over it and he feels relieved having confessed but much like Lourdes.. it kind of feels as if the character tries to make itself stand out… for being different and being “2020”. There is a lot of good things going on.. there is a closetted gay person in this movie who struggles with his sexuality.. it seems to be a plot thread.. but once again.. after it is revealed .. nothing happens with it. I REALLY like the inclusion.. but I think you really cheapen things by letting all the characters tell you what makes them inclusive.. just to see them replaced by some generic stock character. Kind of like the Mighty Morphin Power Ranger Roll Call.. “Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, Melanated, Adopted, Transgender Girl” Then they all morph and we cut to the Japanese stock footage with completely different characters.. I really hated it.. as if it plays inclusion as a gimmick to be cool. That doesn’t show you are a skilled writer or a good director.. that shows you pick popular buzzwords and put them into your movie… No I do not think they should fire the director.. though she clearly did a bad job.. I am sure she has her merrits.. I just needed every chapter title to resemble the elements.
Full of Hot AIR
I am happy the trans girl is played by an actual trans person and we do see an example on how movies can be.. in THEORY.. this does feel in a way like the world we want to see.. but at the same time it does paint a bit too much of an Utopia.. This kind of brings issues within the settings of this movie. Really hurting any sense of credibility. The story is as follows. Lilly and her mother move in with her mothers new boyfriend. As Lillith adapts to her new school three girls discover she wears a mysterious pendant tying her into the world of magic.. Every which has an element and a wind direction, Tabby is Fire, Lourdes is earth and Frankie is air.. however without Water they can not do powerful spells.. what do you know it seems Lily is a very powerful witch…attuned to Water. This poses a bit of an issue.. how astronomical are the chances of four THIS diverse girls all having a different element all being born in a line of magic?! I like the idea of making a movie that includes people who never could shine in Hollywood.. but making them feel common by making them special and chosen one.. feels contradictive.. luckily this movie has more where that came from. Spoiler for people who do not know what the word Legacy means.. because that is the only way you will not get this plot twist…..
Lillith is the daughter of one of the witches of the first movie.. a villian drained her of her magic…which already happened in the first movie… so it ignores the ending of the first movie to an extent.. and she was given up because that woman went crazy but also did not want Lily to grow up with her magic .. she must never use it. Sure, that is a nice trope.. hide the kid away from their true nature. This seems to be a huge rule though.. Yet the ONE memento her real mothers seems to have given Lilly.. is a necklace.. that connects her to the magic of the four wind directions.. that necklace is the very thing that makes her discover she is magic. …… The heck?! That’s like saying.. Girls from Charmed.. I do not want you to discover you have magic powers.. I’ll send you to spain.. Please have my magic book!?! Eeeh… What.. It get’s worse though.. Lily’s new father played by David Duchoveny is called Adam… (like the first man) he is a famous motivational speaker who talks about holy Masculinity.. he believes women to be inferior beings… ..jeesz I wonder who the bad guy of this movie is going to be…Spoiler.. again.. but …
He turns out to be a Warlock who wants to steal magic from Witches because women should not hold power. I think he is Lily’s real father but it is never made clear..but since a Witch has to voluntarily surrender her powers.. he seduces her adoptive mother.. tries to torment her into manifesting her powers.. then driving her and her friends apart making her resent the powers so she can give them up.. Except.. he doesn’t do anything of that.. Everything that happens .. happens kind of at random. The girls find Lily because of her pendant.. which has nothing to do with Adam.. Lily falls in love with someone.. because they used a spell on him.. which has nothing to do with Adam.. For some reason he knows everything in the end.. even what Lily’s friends do at different locations, he knows how the girls magic works at one moment.. at the very next moment he completely forgets and walks into a death trap.. kind of showing more toxic masculinity in the end.
WATERered Down Original
It’s such a shame that this movie is so weakly written. The original gave all the girls mini arcs to go through here.. we don’t even learn their names.. there is no character development for any of them. There is no consequence to any of their actions.. at one point they seal their magic away.. literally a MINUTE later.. they are back with their magic more powerful then ever. The original had consequences.. they reacted to each other, had arcs started to mistrust each other. Here the group break up comes out of nowhere at the most inappropriate time ever, with no real precedent why the thing that was made an issue is an issue.There even was a perfectly good reason to let that break of trust happen.. but for some reason they did not get mad at Lily deeply shaming a girl’s trust and choosing forsaking how friends should behave amongst another.. for some reason they get mad for a thing they aren’t even sure caused an issue.. This movie could have been such a good thing for Hollywood.. but instead of making a real movie they just shoved a bunch of feathers up their own touchie.. look at how cool we are!
This movie is nice for a twelve year old girl who thinks witches are cool..but the things these girls do feel way to overpowered and not grounded in real magic.. a girl lays in a bathtub and it glows.. and they make a whole thing out of it..the first ever spell the girls learn is to freeze time..It’s so poorly written because that ability kills all the tension. The CGI is really bad and the cringiest sentence in the movie is “I want to learn how to shapeshift.. so I can become Kirsten Stewart because I am a huge Twilight Stan” This movie is made for 12 year old girls and if you are NOT a twelve year old girl.. this movie is something you should stay away from. It’s Tik-Tok Hollywood and that ain’t for me! I love the way this movie set worked.. too bad it did not produce a movie but a viral video instead.
3 thoughts on “Soulless Witches Versus Toxic Warlocks: The Craft Legacy”
EEek. Even reading the review made me cringe. I’ll be skipping this one, thanks. And thanks for the warning.
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It’s a good one to skip! I bet it will be super funny in 2030 though
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I’ll try to remember 😛