Steam Salutations, those who visit these mechanical isles! It is the month of Steampunk on this blog, as per popular vote! We thank everyone for voting! However it has left the manager with an extremely difficult task. She has to write a lifestyle post about Steampunk first! Not having the money for those expensive cosplay props the manager had to rethink what she could do.. and then as if inspired by Eddison and Watts.. an idea popped up! The Manager would reinterpret her life.. had she lived in a Steampunk society. How would my life be if instead of high tech gadgets.. everything was powered by junk, steam and gears.. what kind of person would I be?!
Recalibrating my body
First things first.. how would I look and be in Steampunk society. It’s a rather common event to replace some lesser functional limbs and parts with a mechanical counterpart.. however.. since I have issues with my muscles including my heart that would mean replacing a lot of me.. and I don’t want my biggest enemy to be a big magnet. I do love Tony Stark a lot though so I think I will replace my heart with a mechanical one.. preferably low on the steam! I doubt steam in my chest would be healthy! So I would like to replace my heart with a clock thingy we’d name .. “the Ticker” it would be a Cuckoo clock inspired thing that actually has a heart shaped Cuckoo bird coming out.. when I am in love.. or when I am in heart trouble. I would occasionally need to wind it again and I would forget it every now and again so thank Steam-Powered-Arceus I got a visual reminder. I would love it to have all sorts of little things popping out of my ticker.. .. but we have to be a bit realistic.
I would probably be able to walk less well then I would now.. my medicine is keeping me a bit more agile.. and I feel that in a Steampunk Society they would just cut it off and replace it with a mechanical one.. I however love my shows too much so I would not want a mechanical leg. So I’d rather end up in a Steam powered wheelchair than with a big spider leg! I can probably walk bits and bobs a day .. so I would have a steam powered wheelchair and a steam powered cane to help me move about. Depending on how bad the day is and how cold the weather is and all that stuff. People would constantly ask me to get my legs replaced but I would puff up my cheeks and tab my steam powered cane on the floor to show my fabulous shoes.. and clean them with little puffs of steam! Of course they would be pink!
I’d probably wear some goggles as I need glasses anyway so they would be replaced by goggles.. of course in pink. If I wear a hat it will be a ladies tophat.. also in pink.. one of those pilotty caps would limit me from doing stuff with my hair while I feel the tophat is more an accessory. I like one of those tiny tophats that are just a clip on a hairpin! It would solve two of my problems… one allowing me to style my hair the way I want.. and 2.. it would actually keep my hair in shape! With all that steam around I bet my hair will be really frizzy. Maybe it would be kinda good for my hair.. I must test this out with a bunch of water cookers in my apartment. That can’t go wrong right?!
Gearing up for a Job
Now replacing my heart with the ticker would result in a rather big change in lifestyle.. a big part of why I am sick at home would be gone.. so I would most likely be able to resume my working life. I’d probably do what I have always done and that is working in a store.. however in a SteamPunk Society .. business is quite a bit more cutthroat. So many junk peddlers and fairly bad circumstances.. there sure as heck would not be proper unions.. and the way I am today.. I am probably too “free spirited” to keep a job long. I imagine my bosses being all types of salesmen like Watto from Star Wars so I would struggle to hang on to a job. So instead I would aspire to be a journalist.. of course Freelance.. because nobody would hire such a free spirit. So.. in al likeliness I would be a traveling junker.. working in my own employment. Traveling to find some stuff to sell .. but traveling to interesting places so I could also find a story to sell to whatever newspaper I am close to! Of course the merchant life would be a dangerous one and I would need a partner!
My Partner would be Bulb-A-Saur.. a steam powered robot with a little metal detector in it .. making it’s light-bulb glow if it is close to a treasure. It would also shake and twith a lot and break down a lot.. so I would not make a bunch of money.. it would all be spend into fixing my sweet mechanical pet. It has been with me since my youth.. when mom and dad gave me Bulbie-chan because all the other kids picked on me and I needed a friend. Even though it is super outdated we would still be friends.. there is no age limit and no write off on friends even if they are mechanical. I would always smile when it comes whirring back to life.. telling everyone that friendship is magic. So all in all I would be a bit off more or less the same jobwise. I don’t have a very solid one.. but I have a good hobby and it offers me some sustainability.. plus an extra every now and again. Making friends would be hard.. Steampunk worlds often have a lot of corruption.. and sky pirates. The latter would not be my friends because I work for the newspaper I might reveal their identities to write my way to a Pullitzer.. and Johnny Law.. has to hide stuff from me so I don’t become a steamwhistleblower. Most of my current friends most likely would not be my friend in this scenario because they either are working for shady companies.. or are super law abiding. However some people I know may be worked into a crew.
Assembling my Steampunk Crew
Just like I believe I am destined for big things and stardom in this life, so would i have great ambitions in my other life.. It’s not like real ambition.. because that to disappointment.. However I am someone who will always keep dreaming,, forever moving.. but not sure what direction I will move in! However I do realise that even wandering forward .. and wanting to dream is something I will need a crew for! I mean I can of course dream by myself but I can dream bigger with others… So what kind of people do I need in a Steampunk world? How can I translate that to people I know?! Well first of all I need a person who can sail one of those zeplin airship thingies.. not a sky pirate.. but not a lawmen either.. because the state will come after me for my stories at one point. Probably someone with one of those old time ball shooting guns as well because the knock back on those things makes me unable to use it.. I might be able to whack people with a stick but I have like next to zero offensive capabilities. I have two friends who fired a gun. The Multifaceted Ocelot and Indigo.are both great fits so I will make them a pair! Two guys bought the same airship.. and neither refused to give in.. so now they are sharing the airship waiting for each other to croak..I befriended both of them.. and mediated. I probably asked Indigo for some help to fix Bulb-A-Saur and helped Ocelot with something on his mind.
So I have two guys.. who shoot stuff and fly airships for me.. Indigo can probably be some tinkering while Ocelot could unlock new functions in Bulb-A-Saur.. but one thing we have in common is we all aren’t that good at planning. We are chaotic, and kind of shy and introverts. Socially Awkward and who knows what else.. not a great trait for a journalist of course. Yet I am me.. I won’t let my limitations hold me back and I will just find people to help me get past that. So I need a social girl.. one that works as a “source” for news but one that can also function as a bit of a scout.. and a planner. My friend Fatmima Minusima would make for a good scout friend. We met each other through blogging where she kind of worked as my link to the professional world.. when disaster struck. Yet it figures it would also mean that we would meet in our Steampunk life.. where she is my operator, source planner. She would have one of those eyeglasses thingies that makes her hyper aware. You know with the switchable lenses in all sorts of colours for all sorts of effects. She works in Public Relations for a big game company in real life so the job would fit her. I do feel like I can’t use my nickname for her hear.. as there is a joke in there established by friends of my old life.. so we will just call her Betty.
Finally I would need a pack mule.. you know .. a lot of treasure is super heavy and I can lift about twelve kilogram before getting into some trouble… that is not a lot of weight. I need a strong man.. while Indigo can work like that.. the other role fits him a lot better. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of strong friends. I have one..but he doesn’t mix well with Fati.. plus I think in Steampunk society we would not be friends..well at least not his current day counterpart. He would be one of those government guys that kind of sells out his soul for cash a status.. he would maybe later on be convinced of hte evil of his ways but he needs to do something he regrets first so he can learn.. right now he isn’t there yet so he’s out. My sister would kind of work for the stereotype as well.. she is very buff and strong.. and she is my rock in my ways but she might be a bit too homey. So I actually think I would end up with a guy I used to be friends with.. we met when I was working in a hardware shop.. selling tools so it is a good backstory. He once again is a tinkerer but also one of those pretty boys that can life a lot. He is good fun and a very free spirit.. his girlfriend not so much .. she is rather close minded and status driven.. but hey in this world they would have never met. So we would still be good friends. He liked I was so out of the box and we had some great adventures.. we buff this version up with metal hands and we will end up with kind of a mix between Bender and Metaton..but more human. Let’s name him Marcus!
Thinkering on My Adventures
Now what would I be doing in these times? Well currently the steampunk world would be plagued by a mysterious disease. Yes I am romanticizing that situation a bit but only because a mysterious plague would make great sense in a SteamPunk world.. the plague doctor is one of the most iconic things associated with the entire world. It would not be entirely the same thing as what we are going through but let’s keep the paralel. In the Steampunk world it WOULD be an engineered disease used to exert control.. we will steer heavily into those ridiculous conspiracy theories out there ..because they just fit the world like a glove. Mysterious Plague Doctors would appear .. as well as corrupted governments refusing to give up their power.. and I as a reporter would try to find my scoop! A world run by streams and guns would have no internet after all. While there is no fake news.. governments have a much higher big brother level in this setting.. and so it would all be a much more dark and ominous situation.
To lighten the mood a little we will say that my crew and I do not fully get involved with the disease. It is more of a background the world is going through. SteamPunk me would be waiting for a package delivery from SteamPunk Santa.. let’s say a new part for her heart or a new bulb for Bulb-A-Saur.. but then under the guise of this mysterious disease SteamPunk Santa and his Steam Powered Sled would go missing over London.. a nation that is going into complete isolation at this time.. even more so than any other country! .. Of course the Sled would be an amazing treasure as would Ru-D0lph the Steampipe Reindeer so me and the crew would travel into the terrain of one of the mad man politicians realms to find Santa for a super duper scoop.. or just loot his sled and reindeer for treasure.. whatever comes first.
And that would be my SteamPunk story..If you are like.. Oh my Arceus.. that is Amazing Pinkie.. you should make a movie out of this… well then I need a few million Kofi Donations and I will make it so.. so if you want to be part of that Million then feel free to support my Kofi clicking in the cute pink little picture. Now time to dig deeper into steampunk month!