Where did I put my new headgear… frick! Oh well , hi Island guests! I decided to have a bit more fun with my blogs and well that means I am doing a lot of silier topics rather than reviews! It has made blogging a lot more fun! Yet also a whole lot less useful! So let’s hope you read these things because you like me or my content rather than that you read my stuff to see if an anime or game is for you! I came up with a new little concept where under certain conditions I pit two options against each other.. and then I pick! Today we will answer the important question! Which Pokémon will taste better?! I only want the finest cuisine now that I am going to ascend manager status!
Beef: Tauros or Miltank
There aren’t all that many Bovine options in Pokémon, Bouffalant escaped the Abattoir because of the relation Miltank and Tauros seem to have.. almost as if a male and female side of the same coin. We all know which one of the two is scarier, but which one of the two would be tastier? For those of you who don’t know, yes it is established that people eat Pokémon and these two are the most commonly mentioned being turned into burgers. Fan theories basically say they are the same pokémon in a way but gender variations..like Gardevoir and Gallade as it were. Or Glalie and Froslass. So we already start with a pickle.. they will probably taste fairly similar. Tauros meat will be a bit more muscular and chewie while Miltank is a bit more plumb and has more fat.
So I do believe that Miltank would be the more commonly used protein. It has the less pronounced taste. However I do believe that Tauros would be the more flavourful one. Miltank lives off its own milk a bit..which I can only imagine reducing it’s taste. Tauros seem a bit more wild.. and might have a bit of a gamey aftertaste which I really could fancy..but best of all, Tauros has multiple tails.. Oxtails are great in taste and for soup and sauces. Good for graveys as well. So I am convinced that Tauros is the more flavourful one. Yet is it always tastier?! The common population says no. Chicken Fillet is still a lot more popular than chicken thigh and people really prefer the more neutral tasting meats. I however am not the safe cut kinda girl! I prefer the pieces of cow others pass up on , so I’ll go bull as well!!
Pork: Grumpig or Pignite
I’d make chicken a category but there is only one chicken pokémon, so I think white meat is scarce in the world of Pokémon. So let’s pick our source of Pokémon Bacon. PIloswine is another option but I’d say that that again is more gamey and it would be the Miltank and Tauros story all over again. Besides Ground, Ice type sounds like the meat would be really tough and would need to marinate a lot.. we don’t always have time for that so for today we will compare two pigs with similar body types. Pignite is a fire fighting starter from the fith generation, while Grumpig is a psychic type from the Hoenn region. At first glance the latter has a lot of things going for it. It’s a psychic type that is known for using its psychic powers to eat berries. Which means it will have a lot of sweet, subtle meat that could be delicious! I am also very interested in eating something purple!
On the other hand Pignite is a fire , fighting type. The meat would be more firm and probably not as flavorful as it would eat whatever 10 years old starting their journey would feed it… so it will probably be fed a lot of pot noodles and redbull. Yet it has a very plumb body and some fats that can be beautifully rendered. I bet it could taste nice with some apple and thyme, maybe some sauteed onions. The most important clue to which one is the tastiest we find in their pre-evolutions. You see Spoink the prevolution of Grumpig dies if it ever stops bouncing on it’s own tail.It has an insanely stressful life.
Stress can be tasted in an animal. Alternatively , Tepig is a starter which means it is bred to be friendly towards 10 year olds. Which means it probably has a plushie little life as soon as it is born where it is groomed to be friendly to be people. Which I assume would be done by getting food, pets and other forms of love.. so it hungers for that same type of affection in a 10 year old.. those who evolve to early or who aren’t picked live with the professor for a while .. but some will eventually just be sold off for meat, but before that a Pignite will have had a good life.. and you can taste that. Besides it’s a fire type! Which means it practically is self crisping bacon! That alone would make it the winner.
Duck: Kantonian Farfetch’D or Galarian Farfetch’D
So since I wanted to do at least some form of edible bird comparison I settled on a bird that I love to bits… but also love to eat! Ducks! In this case.. we even compare the same Pokémon.. but from different parts in the world. You know much like how Irish Mutton is kind of tastier than Dutch Mutton. And yes while I would love to have a pet Duck, I still would eat them. Same would go for other pets.. on the premise they were bred for meat.. not as a pet that got not picked and turned into meat instead. So which one of these ducks… would be the tastiest. They both have a leak, in varying sizes. Galarian Farfetch’D has the bigger leak so I think it is safe to say that would be the tastier leak! It has also much more rich and vibrant colours. Ratio wise I also think Galarian Farfetch’d would be the more balanced meal!
Yet when I look at the duck itself I can not help but feel that the Kantonian Farfetch’D would be tastier. I do not know why… but sometimes you see a pig or a cow and think.. that seems like a tasty animal.. while other times you think, eeeew, I don’t want that in my Big Mac. It’s that whole Bancho-Vibe Galarian Farfetch’D has. I’d think kissing a princess would be nicer than Kissing Jolene Kujo or Poison from Final Fight.. would be not as nice of a kiss then Sailor Moon. Sometimes you just know these things right?! I feel Galarian Farfetch’D would be the junkfood duck! The one that ends up in the peking duck at that budget chinese restaurant while Kantonian Farfetch’D would be found at Bistro La Duchesse du Carnard Douce, or something! Now it would be awesome if we could mix and match! Kantonian Bird.. with Galarian Leek.. but that sounds like that might be a delicacy I can’t afford.
Fruit: Cherubi or Applin
I failed to come up with a good vegetable this or that. My initial idea would be Oddish vs Bouncesweet.. but Oddish is Poisonous. So out go the turnips. Then Amoonguss versus Shinotic for Mushrooms.. but Amoonguss is poisonous. Shroomish and Shinotic are too different. In the world of Pokémon.. if it’s green it is most likely bad for you! The kelp of Dhelmise drains life and don’t even get me started on how many leafs might actually be Razor leafs?! No it’s best not to eat your veggies in the world of Pokémon! Fruit however offers a few options. Cherubi and Applin are both tiny pokémon with relatively low stats and a mostly harmless move pool. I think Applin might learn apple acid….but apple vinegar is a kitchen staple so that is safe. Apples and Cherries are both fairly popular fruits but both have a bit of a problem. The cherry has mutated into having a second head which might be a bit of an unsettling sight.. after all cherries might be to tiny to cut off the face.. so for those not wishing to eat something with a face.. this could be trouble.
Applin however is an apple that has a worm in it.. only in this case the worm is a tiny dragon.. somehow this causes it to merge with the apple and the idea of a worm in an apple is a pretty gross idea. Besides that there are plenty of normal apples in the pokémon world, but cherries are uncertain. Why eat the one apple that can fight back? I personally think that a worm living in an apple and having merged with said fruit is probably ceviched in the apple acid and might actually taste nice, still it is a pretty gross idea.. much more so than a two faced cherry! My favourite cake is a Black Forest cake and my favourite fruit is a cherry! Though peaches are close.. but since there is no peach Pokémon.. I had to pit the cherry against the apple.. and while the Apple definitely has the tastier evolution.. I can’t escape the feeling that the little red guy looks super tasty! Both in it’s regular AND shiny form!
Dessert: Slurpuff or Alcremie
Let’s end with desert! This one is a tough one. Alcremie is very VERY close to being my favourite Pokémon of all time, but could I imagine myself eating one?! Yes! Alcreamy is the whipped cream Pokémon, decorated with fruit and other things. That is pretty tasty! I loved whipped cream, it is neutral and you can make a delicious dessert with it by combining it well.. it’s everything’s best friend! Slurpuff on the other hand is a Meringue. which means it is egg whites whisked into stiff peaks and usually a lot of sugar! Meringue is a great desert if you combine! Like with Sea salted caramel and dark chocolate.. or with lemon! Slurpuff also has a great nose .. amazingly so! So he can help you find the ingredients… but that is kinda cruel! So I won’t do that! I really love Slurpuff and Alcremie so I would need to eat pieces of them in a dish I can not make a dish with them!
Alcremie has a big pro over Slurpuff though, it comes in many flavours and options! Depending if you spin your cream right or left and how hard you can whip there are 71 Alcremies for you to whip up including it’s gigantamax cake form. However there are a few pretty gross sounding Alcreamies as well! Mint cream with Clover?! Salted Cream with Ribbons?! Those don’t sound very tasty… but they do look adorable. So this begs the question.. do we compare the average Alcremie flavour against Slurpuff.. or the best tasting one?! Caramel Swirl with Strawberry sweet Alcremie sounds pretty delicious! Or how about a Lemon cream with Blueberry one?! Pretty good if you feel like something more tart!. There is an alcreamie for every mood! And they are not that hard to make either! Meanwhile for Slurpuff you have to find some whipped dream… and I might prefer that to eat that over a Meringue. Plus spinning is good to lose all those calories Alcremie will put on!
And that’s it! A feast of Pokémon has been served! Which ones do you think I called wrong? Do you have another good idea for a This or That?! Which Pokémon would you not mind eating? Let me know in the comments while I go rest up after such a hearty meal! May all your pokémon be tasty! Oyasumi!