Dear Guests, dear Subjects, todays royal decree is a challenge to the worst enemy of commerce! The thing that managers have nightmares about! Today is a post on how to stick it up to …… Karen! Karen for those who don’t know is a type of woman that complains about company policy in order to get financial again! This is often done in a very toxic way! Your rules will be read through a double standard.. no matter how well you phrase them out. So finding better worded rules would not do. I would have to find a way to make her respect me…despite the rules. Thanks to briljant CEO Seto Kaiba I got an idea!
Screw the Rules: I have a $100 lip cream!
Conversations with Karen tend to be lengthy and loud. Big mouth movements are required. So it will often be a painful experience if you go into this conversation with cracked lips! So with the first product of JapanTrendsShop of today, we will make sure we never get a bleeding lip from yelling back at Karen. We also take our first step in shutting her up! Just walk up to the counter or desk where she demanded you and take this lip cream out.. carefully applying it to your lips! She knows you are getting ready for an inevitable confrontation and she know it won’t be pretty… unlike your lips AND your lip Balm!
Presenting the Ojamajo Doremi Pirika Pirilala Color Lip Creams! This product will cost you $91 or €80 and you will not get one but TWO amazingly visually impressive lip creams of about 12 centimeters per stick worth of lip moisturizing cream. The designs are based on the anime Magic Doremi and it is being marketed as Lip Cream for kids!… Despite the disclaimer saying it is for the ages of 15 and up! So… regardless it is perfect for my demographic! People of ages 15 and up.. who are all still children at heart. The Peperuto Pollon is the pink one and it taste like strawberries due to strawberry extract. The Picotto Pollon is the red one.. and it tasted and smells like roses due to rose hip oil! I did not even know roses had hips, but clearly they do! The more you know!
The product is made in Japan and moisturizes your hips by a product called squalane.. which at least to me sounds very tasty! Yet.. having perfectly balmed lips in front of Karen is only the first of two great effects! The second is that with your little magical girl wand you look super intimidating! Karen WILL think “Oh no! She just burned $100 dollar on two sticks of Lip Balm… if she has that much money to burn.. perhaps she doesn’t need my business!
Screw the Rules: I have a $1200 Pokémon Bag
For this whole gag I am going to do we need to take a fair bit of stuff out of our bag and hand it over to Karen or wave it in her face, so we might as well include the handbag in our gag. Karen always thinks that she is the center of your universe. She is your goddess! You must respect her! So by showing her you worship others that will hurt her case! Obviously Karen is a fudging normie so you can’t put Madoka or Evangelion characters up and expect her to know who it is… but she probably will know Pikachu.. from that time her son wanted a pikachu cake and this apprentice patissier said they did not do Pikachu cakes.. So by wearing an iconic character on your bag.. she knows.. she is not your god! Pikachu is!
The Pokémon Longchamp Top Handle Bag, can help you achieve this for the price of $1152 or €1031. The bag comes in three colours that all have nothing to do with Pikachu.. but that will help you combine it with your outfits rather easily! Red, Black and White! It is made by Longchamp which are a renowned french accessory maker… apparently! It is also officially licensed Nintendo Merchandise! It is made with cool materials such as real leather and Black nickel! It has a Zipper and a snap to put all your goodies away safely… well some of your goodies.. it’s an XS bag! Having dimensions as small as 14x 17 by 10 centimeters. Which basically means fitting in two juice boxes. .will be a very tight fit! Paying so much money for that will definitely upset Karen though!… And the next item on our list will definitely fit!
Screw the Rules: I have 50 Cake Toppers
By now Karen’s ego is really beginning to hurt.. and this is where you launch your true offensive, you see Karen’s goals are twofold! First of all she wants to inflate her own importance! Because no one gives her compliments so she wants to be a queen in a store.. and secondly she loves free stuff. Decent human beings get gifts from friends.. but Karen is not a decent human being! She is just frustration embodied in an average looking woman! And I am being generous to Karen’s looks here! Regardless of how hard you dominate.. Karen will not leave untill she gets a small victory..usually in the form of free stuff! So we will give her a laxative infused cupcake! Because.. if you Karen me.. you ain’t gonna get your micro victory.. they will all be mine! So if I give you stuff.. it is to make you hurt more! Plus this ties in nicely with the next product Teehee!
For €40 or $45 you can get four cute Mario and Luigi Cake toppers as well as an amazing warp pipe to serve them in! I can not deduce if they can be placed in the oven.. so from the looks of them I would not… but they probably can! They make 5cm cup cakes.. so you know Karen isn’t getting a whole lot of cupcakes! Plus she needs to give the cake skewer and the cup back to you! Which already is a thing Karen won’t like! These cupcake toppers are fairly overpriced and once more show Karen.. you have actual heroes! They are called Mario and Luigi and this is a super cute way to eat cupcakes when Karen is gone.. just make the cupcakes without the laxative! JapanTrendShop really wishes to make clear that the cupcakes you see in the picture are not included in the actually officially nintendo licensed product… and I am kind of glad… though I guess a cupcake that stale could have worked as a laxative as well?!
Screw the Rules: I have $125 Toilet Paper
It is time to fully mute Karen, you see handing back the cupcake cup and the topper was only to keep her in your office or at the desk so you can finish her off completely! In this final step we will destroy her pride, intimidate her father and even do some classic blame shifting. You see when she asks you if you can use the bathroom you will point her to the staff bathroom, under supervision so she can’t steal.. she will object at first but the laxative will soon convince her otherwise. As she agrees you send an employee with her to the staff bathroom where she will find this special toilet paper set from Japan. It is a gift set.. but well you can buy this gift for yourself and to break Karen’s spirit.
With the fire down below burning properly she will see the gold leaf gift box these 8 rolls of toilet paper come in. She can see the craftsmanship of handmade and unique wrapping around every roll , as she has to break one open! She is about to break into a 15 dollar roll of toilet paper while a staff member outsides can hear her do it! She opens a roll to find the amazing unique designs .. one unique for every roll out there! Each sheat of double or triple toilet paper of a material is so soft that it feels like a baby’s skin. She thinks it might be extra thick so inspect it.. but no.. it is 2 or 3 sheets thick just.. you can get thicker in grocery stores.. it’s not scented for luxury either.. so it’s just the rest. No hiding behind a scent Karen.. you are washing away 5 dollars worth of toilet paper just from a single shit, and still she hears her stomach growling. She is starting to feel guilty and your victory is complete!
Broken Karen emerges from the toilet.. she just stumbles outside the store! For a manager who can afford all this without any regrets she knows she is nothing! She knows you do not care about the rules, you have money! She knows she is not the center of your universe.. but all this weird japanese stuff is! She will just come into your store or resort to do what she needs without complaint.. she has learned her lesson and is Karen no more.. now she is Kara.. that’s a superhero name right? She googled it?! Perhaps you will like her better now!
No more beans!
Karen has been defeated.. but your blood pressure is kind of spiking! While defeating Karen this way is fun, usually dialogue with one of her kind makes you wish you had a spiky baseball bat instead that you could just swing into your face! You need to unwind! An average stress ball costs you about 50 cents.. that is so cheap I don’t even need to to a price correction. But for about 48 times more money you get this anti stress thing that looks like a coffee grinder. It is super tiny so it can’t grind any actual beans but according to Japan it will make you relaxed and I found the commercial at the end fairly funny because I don’t get why half of that commercial is there.. or why this product needs a commercial! Gori Gori though! Check out the commercial down below!
Relaxation from Karen is only $28’s away…
I probably would get stressed from holding such a tiny thing! Might as well grind real coffee.. but I have servants for that! Aaahhh now that’s an idea that makes me relaxed. In fact.. I might go take a princessy nap right now! Enjoy your stay in Paradise my loyal subjects! Oyasumi!
Oh and if you want me to realise this anti Karen Plan please consider supporting me on Kofi!