I am back! Sort of…. I think?

Good to see you again pleasants! It has been a while since I last blogged! I needed a break from it all because I wanted to focus on some of my greater ambitions! So what have I been up to? What is going on with Pinkie?! Well today I will tell you all about my pursuit to become a Vtuber and how it has changed things for me!

Why I took a break

10-hour clock | Fact# 3981 | FactRepublic.com
How my days feel!

So let’s begin at the start! Why did I take a break?! Well it has been no secret I have not been getting out of blogging what I want to get out of blogging! I really DO like the blogging community and you are all such kind and good people filled with passion and amazing penmanship… but for me this past year of blogging there was something missing from it! I have thoroughly enjoyed my interactions with the Paradise Staff and making up the stories in the blog is really fun. Yet on multiple occasions I have talked about how I missed something, and with my staff becoming less active and my Joy pointing out my comment section is often quite empty, I wondered what it was. I struggled to keep up with other blogs as well as I increasingly fell out of love with anime…. No wait that is wrong. I really do love anime, just not as much as you guys do?! I have several passions that trump that and I found them demanding increasing amounts of time.

I made a lot of Vtuber friends. Like the amazing Millie Fuwaffles, Nephillia and the always funny Patumbra, I also made friends with the amazingly talented and focussed Nini Neen, as well as plenty of others. I try to support them but this means watching about a 3 hour stream every day, I do pop in and out a bit but I want to offer them interaction! I want to be part of the community so that means putting in the hours. Through these interactions I figured out what I was lacking from blogging and that was … spontaneity I want to converse rather than just speak? I do like blogging interactions but compared to streams it’s a bit more “flat”. We say “nice post” .. or “you dumb pink cow, how dare you devaluate us by saying our interactions are flat.. you should die in a hole” or something in between. If I have an issue get good advice and my shoulderpads… but never (except with Joy… I love you for it Joy) you suddenly end up talking about something completely different. In a stream we can talk about the game the streamer is playing and suddenly end up in a conversation about the origin of taffy. All of you may know I thrive on randomness.. so this kinda thing is like my jam!

6 WordPress Issues (and what to do about them) | fjorge
Not bad.. but it adds a lot of tedium for the casual blogger

I do still have a passion for writing, making up stories and telling stuff, that is still in my blood so it is not like I will stop blogging or that I do not get anything out of it, yet WordPress itself made it less rewarding still. The struggles to get the edit right, the relative amount of effort for a small visual thing no one ever really notices…it took the spontaneity even further away. I have a super cool idea and begin writing and that part is fun, but then comes dealing with the editor.. and it becomes less fun. Glitches, text popping in and out, having to sort my colours every time, it enforced that feeling of .. ugh.. not today for me! So I needed a break and really focus on something I am super passionate about! And that thing was starting my Vtuber career.. and to do that I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Coming out as a trans-woman

So this one might sound weird to a few of you, as I have in the past spoken openly about this on other people’s blogs! I have always reacted to posts about the subject and in OWLS it was on my “profile”. I have talked in depth about subject matter with people like Mari and Irina as well as some others. Yet on my own blog I never did, so this fact may surprise some of you! Truth of the matter, confessing that isn’t hard at all. I’d tell the truth to all who’d ask. I just feel, and forgive me if this offends you, that you have no business in knowing my genetic make-up…. in all other ways than that I’ve been that girl I said I am.. in fact in the virtual space I have been more true to myself than my parents have ever seen me past the age of 5. You guys have seen the real me…and that is why coming out was so hard for me. I had to corrupt my safe space.

Transgender flag - Wikipedia
My flag kinda looks like an oreo with a layer of jam added

In the text based virtual space, I have no tells that my biological truth may be different from my sociological truth, and since non of you are my doctor geneticist or those who need to write me legal documents, the gender versus genetics thing has always been a non issue. However as an aspiring streamer, I need to be confronted with my greatest shame.. my voice. I truly loathe my voice so much so that I am actually afraid to speak up! I am so scared and displeased by it that in fact I CAN not truly speak up. Health issues complicated that even more so it will be a tricky thing for me to deal with.. but since content making IS a dream, I can not have that fear hold me back anymore… and since the internet is how it is “You sound like a dude” .. or ” I bet she is actually a guy” in comments and all… I decided to embrace my flag though it pains me greatly.

I feel in order to chase my dream, I am leaving a piece of my true identity behind. I am a true woman.. I know it! Yet recently it has become a bit of a “trend” or more “accepted” thing to be Trans… which is great..except it feels wrong to me. I just want to be the woman I know I am.. and the woman I in all but the genetical way am! That doesn’t need to be closer defined. I don’t specify my skin colour, my eye colour or my clumsy demeanour either. I am not a “clumsy” woman.. well I am a clumsy woman but it’s not like a subspecies or something. This might feel stupid but in calling me a “trans-woman” I feel like I will forever be denied “woman”. It’s not as bad as being called a dude.. but imagine if your life long dream is to see Disneyland.. but then you are denied entry past Cinderella’s castle?! It’s still Disneyland sure and you can hug Mickey Mouse all the same.. but it feels like you are missing out on the true experience. That is why I reluctantly wear this flag. Trans… is not a state of being, trans is a journey you undertook to finally become your true self. It is fleeting. I know I had to do this coming out to explain my voice and some other things I will encounter as a streamer .. but I am just very afraid Trans-woman will lead into the JK Rowling mindset, where the opposite of Trans-Woman is her “true-woman” or whatever higher level of womanhood she claims to be on in her tweets. It would deny me from ever reaching my destination… and it makes me really anxious… so I struggled with that.

Becoming a VTube

My overlay plus my model

Now let’s talk about cool things! My path to become a Vtuber! I have made some amazing steps on the way! I am learning more about streaming everyday, and I have found this amazing loving community filled with amazing people who support me and help me and are there for each other. Every time I visit one of their discords it feels as if I am on the floor of an anime convention or something, except we don’t talk about anime that much, we can literally talk about everything. There is a fair bit of anime talk but these people also care a lot about gaming.. much more in the same ratio’s as myself. Where in the blogging community I found people I look up to, and who are very eloquent and are equally as passionate as me , in the Vtuber community I have found my peers. People like me! Who much more share my humor and my quirkiness and a love for randomness. It helped me flesh out the character quite a bit.

For example I made the difficult decision to drop the name Pinkie for my Vtubing. There is this certain pony that completely drowns me out in any search results… except for weird questions like “are Pinkie and Goku in Love” which people apparently googled to land on my blog! I have taken on the handle of Yuni D’uque a japanese frenchie name that is based on my character being a uniduck. D’uque will perform fairly well in search engines once it is time for me to fully start streaming. Most elements are already in play for that! I have my stream overlays sorted out, I have made a lot of visuals, I have my amazing 3d model by Frisout (which kinda clips because she is just a Vroid but it’s an amazing place to start) I have made many new friends and even some collabs already planned. As a blogger I never fully managed to get that off.. because how odd it felt to me! I never felt good enough.. it would be fun but my part would be detrimental to someone else… I do not feel that burden as a streamer.

My New Logo

Basically I have everything I need to be a streamer..except for one thing! A rig with which I could feasibly stream. I need a new pc because I have discovered my system is NOT good enough for that! But that makes it all the more exciting to do this! I have found a system that I am ordering the day after this post goes live and then within a few weeks I am ready to start streaming. I am super excited! So I made a channel promo to highlight what I as a Vtuber will be about! I hired an amazing artist to perform some lyrics I rode to a song that means a lot to me… and of course Disney immediately claimed any rights to make money of that video… but at least they allowed me to use it! So yay!
So I will share that video here with you guys! It explains some new lore about the character.. but also shows she still has plenty of powers! I had a blast making this but you can see a lot of sloppy bits where my computer let me down a bit because I could not do something frame by frame, the laptop skipped a lot of things or jittered a fair bit! I am still kinda proud of it though!

So what about the Blog?

So what is next for my blogging career? Will I stop? Probably not! Will I be as active as I was.. most likely not that either. As much as I hate to admit it, the big issue is the overlap in interests is very little. Vtuber posts do poorly on here, as well as gaming posts (relatively speaking) so it will be a tricky thing to combine. Especially since this thing.. the video content creation thing is much more a passion than writing is. Writing is still fine but really WordPress isn’t.
I will still do creative posts! For example I still have Fred’s anime story about Nudism I need to make and do a Summer as a Pokémon post, as well as an anime story for her.. but again other than that I had very little interaction on the coming up with my own anime thing. So that format I will most likely turn into videos! Not as visual.. as I can’t do art and can only collage.. but somehow I want to do story writing videos where I just tell you stuff. I will also do interactive storytelling streams but I need to sort that out as well.. but let’s just say that some blogging content will turn “hybrid” once I get my rig.

Talking To Much GIFs | Tenor

I do not feel like doing anime reviews, I am not good at them, I still like anime but I always feel like I am late to the party, or I can’t compare Girl’s last Tour to that stage play thing Ian Mc Kellen did , so when say the story just gives me happy feelings where I want to wrap myself in a blanket with a bit of soup and look at it on a day I am feeling sick.. I feel.. inferior. Anime is something I love but to keep it as something I love, I feel I must keep it to myself because I do not care about a lot of things from anime. I do not care for studio’s, I do not really care for allegories, I do not care for animation fluidity yet in a review I can not help but feeling I need to include it. I tried to review anime MY way.. but I feel to make something a review I need to do something with it. You know as if a review is a too defined concept for me to excel at! I am more of a rambler! I know it is all in my head but I can’t turn that not good enough switch off. When I write reviews like that all I hear people being angry at me…because well there is also the toxic culture part and it’s just in my system so hard .. when I review I just hear myself go yapyapyap…. stupid insight, mildly funny joke.

I know most of my readers care way less about games, or about Vtubers but these are the things i am currently most passionate about. D&D as well. So honestly I do not know what I will do blogging content wise. I need to pay for my domain again soon and around that time I will make a true decision! It is unlikely I will fully be gone, but during my three week absence I will admit that I did not MISS blogging that much either. Well that is not correct, I did not miss it’s “static” nature, I did miss blogging a bit. So maybe with some exceptions of stuff that is already written I will treat my blog more like an actual weblog and tell you more about my days, my path of being a vtuber, what games I played and what stuff I watched. Or my general feelings on various topics! Less edit heavy, less pictures. I haven’t found out yet what I want.. and I think that is also okay!

Confused Anime GIFs | Tenor

In the end I still want to build a geeky community, so in that sense not all that much would change about the blog, I just want to bring more spontaneity to the table. We are nearing the second anniversary of the blog. Last year I had two give aways, both with one responder only and after that they became my most spammed posts so this year we will do something else at the very least. What it is , I am not sure yet! But I hope it will be fun. You will hear more about that! I am not done yet! I just thoroughly lost my way. I will admit that I am lost but also that no matter how things will turn out to be alright!

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Princess Pinkie

A 34 year old, super pink, Geek blogger, from the Netherlands behind the keyboard. A 21 year old , Unicorn-Duck Princess VBlogger on the border of imagination and reality!

15 thoughts on “I am back! Sort of…. I think?”

  1. I actually do understand where you’re coming from. The funny thing is, I’m kind of the opposite. Where you’re wanting to get in to streaming and helping out other streamers, I’m winding down from it. I’ve helped quite a few and boy heck I made some in-roads with the streaming community. And you’re right it overlaps with the other things, for me it’s blogging, watching anime and playing GW2. Even though I’m winding down, part of me wouldn’t mind streaming myself. Which I actually have on YT – the issue I’m having is with stream obs, the monitors screen resolution isn’t matching up with screen setting of GW2. It looks odd. Will be frank. The majority of the blogging community aren’t that supportive of streaming.
    Fun fact: I almost got in to an argument with Jon “I know everything” Spencer on Shoujou’s stream. I’m like dude, I’ve been around twitch since 2016/17 and before mixer got shut down, I know my way around streams and some of its lingo used.

    As for blogging. That’s the nature of it, its static. Rather than leaving comments, you can like do a response post. I did that like 3 times xDD, found it quite fun to do. A response post, is where you write a post whether you agree or disagree with someone else’s post, rather than leaving a long-winded comment. Also, for me. I find most bloggers expect me to support them, never the other way round – it is, what it is. Hence why I don’t pop in to most blogs these days. I’m focusing on my own stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know you did some streaming before indeed! I watch some clips from GW2 but I do think it is a bit of a knowledge intensive game.
      Gw 2 you could stream maybe if you use an overlay? Then you can warp it around a bit?

      Jon is a knowledgable fellow , I dont think that is wrong perse but he has a fairly dominant/alpha energie which I struggle to cope with as well. I would probably have lost my cool though.

      As for the blogging, the static part is not really a complaint more an observation. I just get less gratifucation out of static. Reaction post sound kinda fun, but that same feeling would trigger as a collab. Not good enough, or to different. I could react to your or Scotts posts for example but I rarely watch the same things. Plus Irina once wrote that randomly tagging or mentioning people might involve them in your blog while they might not want to be associated with you ..so nervous wreck that I am, I got afraid of tagging.

      I know you are very supportive and I try to put some effort back with tags and regularly mentioning you in post but I know there is more I could do. I do not expect support though. I do not mind if people outgrow me or grow tired of me, I can be vexing I am aware, so be it.

      What makes me feel writing is pointless at times is me for example requesting people to give me a small reply, some feedback or whatever. There is 10ish people who do that, 4 of which staff.
      Yet when I get 30 liked on a post where I ask people to pick, their favorite picture and I get just 2 replies, I cant help to feel 28 did not actually read. This doesnt have to be trough, it could be a figment of my imagination, I do not know but it makes writing for me harder either way. Rational or Irational doest matter perse as I just cant find the switch to not care or overthink even if I doubt that feeling.

      So when I say I am lost, I mean more so in the way of effort vs energy I get out of the hobby. I need to find a better balance, considering and respectinh my irrational side as well

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yup, GW2 does require a bit of knowledge, luckily the community either explains or points to valuable resources that can help new players to the game.

        Curious in what way is he knowledgeable? from what I’ve seen on two occasions, he doesn’t exhibit a dominate/ alpha masculinity. Being anal about the small details doesn’t mean you’re masculine or alpha. I’ve been in enough online battles to know when to and when not to argue over the dumbest of things. As the saying goes cooler heads prevail.

        I’ve been in big streamers chats. The downside to that is; your message can easily get overlooked or quickly buried by another message. The streamer may not read all the messages, simply due to the fast pace of it all. What you’re probably thinking of is smaller chats. Whilst smaller chats are guaranteed in having your message read.

        I wouldn’t worry, tagging or not. Write what you want to write.

        You aren’t the first person to have that argument, another has made that statement. Likes, yet no to very little interaction on post. Thus, finding it hard to blog. This very issue has cropped before amongst bloggers, yet it was somehow buried. Some even think it was “fake”. Truth is, those that felt like that have moved on and have taken a similar stance as I have. Not really bothered or just not blogging as often.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The very first trans girl I ever met was when I was in my early 20s and fresh to LA.that would be the early 1980s. He was just beginning to transition to she. Wonderful gal. Took her to Disneyland. Twice.


  3. Congrats on coming out! 🙂 Truthfully… it’s not like you hid it though… I mean I figured you were trans quite a while ago, just based on your descriptions of growing up and some of the ongoing issues with your family, despite the Netherlands being among the most accepting/tolerant countries of the world for such things. Though I do not see/perceive you as a “trans-woman”, just “true-Pinkie”. Hopefully, being “out” will help you feel more comfortable and authentic in both your physical and digital personifications. You do you girl! 🙂 As for the Vtuber stuff, my advise is try it and experiment a LOT and throw away what doesn’t work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your sweet comment Joy! It really means a lot from me! It’s not like I hid it indeed, but at least in a speaking place , people watching/listening can really give you flack about the sound of your voice and how they think your genetic truth is and all. So I came out on record to avoid that kind of issues.

      My digital personification has always been me, so I am really happy to see you think me as True-Pinkie! I am happy having that title! For the Vtubing I do indeed plan to see what sticks! I have a few ideas on what content I am passionate about so I will work with those but I will try a bit of everything that is also what makes the idea of starting so appealing to me! Here I feel like I spun a bit out of control so that feels like a nice clean start that can help me straighten this place up a bit as well! But again thank you so much for the support and the love!

      I am also kinda happy you patched things together yourself.. that makes me content for some reason! You know.. it was subtext.. but at least people understood! So thank you for being the amazing wonderful you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s tough when the terms you want to use have gained baggage that doesn’t express what you want, but there aren’t terms to replace them with their original meanings. I think you did the best thing possible: You described, in your own words, your perspective.

    That’s a precious thing. I wish more people had the courage, but good heavens, it takes guts…

    “I tried to review anime MY way.. but I feel to make something a review I need to do something with it.”

    Just speaking for myself (and it gets messy when I try to speak for the masses — they get testy when I say stuff they don’t like), I’ve always liked that about your reviews! And if you want to compare an anime series to a stage play, go for it! I look for reviews from an authentic perspective. That’s what I like about your reviews!

    But! If you don’t want to write them, that’s a completely different matter. There are some folks who won’t be happy with you no matter what you do, whether you write reviews or not. So you might as well write what you want!

    Again, if you don’t want to, please don’t take this to be me trying to Impose My Beliefs or anything silly like that. I detected a hint that some evil folk might have made you question yourself, and I wanted to provide a counter weight.

    Oh, and about the WordPress “editor…” Guess why my posts have the same format? I create the format once, installed a plugin to let me clone, and then I clone it. Then I just pour words in. Because to use that editor is to know pain, and cloning the format lets me forget I’m using that editor.

    Until it decides to auto save when I’m inserting a picture. Then I have to wait for it to finish, then figure out where I was trying to insert the pic, because it loses my place. It’s like designing a keyboard that sticks needles in your fingers everything time you depress a key…

    Good luck on your Vtuber efforts!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. It’s great seeing you post content on here again. That was certainly courageous what you just mentioned in your post. Just know that I never judged you in any way in regards to who you are. I hope the VTuber stuff goes well and that DuckTales parody was funny. That’s a bummer how you won’t be doing (as many) anime reviews because I enjoyed those. Yes, I was probably the most obvious person who wanted to see more of your thoughts on Hikaru no Go as you progressed through the series, but I understand. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. They might not fully be gone, but they might come in a more informal format. I am not sure yet, I still feel a bit lost and demotivated to blog.

      Right now I am thinking of doing a few updates on what I am doing a few times a week and include anime + what I thought about them if I have seen any within that time, but I am not sure yet

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gotcha. I was wondering about that. Hopefully you can find some motivation to blog again.

        That’s good to know about some updates and everything. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, as you can probably tell from my most recent blog post, I’m having some motivational issues of my own. We need to create a whole new sort of “blog” concept. More and more the outside pressure seems to be for focused, professional level entries on a specific set of subjects like anime, or gaming. And then there’s you, and me, and Fred and a few more people around who simply write about whatever is on their mind. And between us, we have a community with varying amounts of participation, who clearly LIKE IT THAT WAY. So we need a new concept of a blogger who is the centerpoint of a community of people, some who blog, some who don’t, or who maybe do vtube or maybe just read and comment, people who are here just for the community though. The discussion. Like minded humans, or maybe not even like minded, but able to have a DISCUSSION if there is a point of disagreement and then the discussion becomes the point and interesting part. I’m going on and on and I’m not sure I’m even making sense. I’ll have to think about it. All I know is I love it here, I never miss a post (although sometimes I’m late to the party), and I enjoy the comments as much as the content. I dearly love your unique voice.

    Oh, you’re trans? Huh. Well, dear one, you are you and you always read as a woman to me, of the alt-sex variety (I’ll explain more on that in a minute). I am starting to feel more and more uncomfortable with the whole LGBTQ+ and who likes which pronouns and so forth. To me it seems to become contradictory and maybe even make things worse. For instance, you being uncomfortable that you feel like you have to “come out” as trans. Personally, I’m with you. If you aren’t planning to have sex with me, then the specifics of my plumbing are none of your business and should have no bearing on our relationship. I am what I am, like me or don’t and if you think you have to “judge” me then we are already in deep trouble. I think we as a society are now in danger of sticking a label on everyone, and then we can relax because we’ve now shoved everyone into their proper cubbyhole and we know by what cubbyhole they are in how to relate to them. The only thing new and different is now we have a lot more cubbyholes (labels). I have never fit into anyone’s cubbyhole of any sort (that sounds a bit kinky now that I read it) and I don’t want to. I don’t want a label. I don’t want to stick a label on you either. You are you and I love you and that should be the end of that. It is as far as I am concerned.

    So, I see alt-sex as the perfect “label” if society insists on one. It’s more an umbrella than a cubby hole. It includes all of us who are gender bent, queer, bisexual, kinky, basically anyone who isn’t vanilla hetero. And it’s just saying – I’m not vanilla so I might have a different appearance, genitalia, or sexual attractions than a vanilla person. No judgement, we can still talk about anime and gaming, can’t we? Yes, it might mean that I have a different perspective on say…yaoi. But isn’t that what makes it interesting to have a discussion, to hear a different perspective? And maybe a person will find they agree with something you said, even though it’s from a totally different perspective. I’m pretty sure that being six decades old, having grown up in the 60s and 70s, gives me a different perspective than someone who was born after 2000. Does it keep us from discussing anime? Okay, I’m going to stop before this becomes a total rant.

    You’re my blogging bestie. I enjoy your creative mind and what you create and I’ll follow you anywhere. I’m thrilled when you blog and I’m thrilled when you share a new video and I’m thrilled when you go to Disneyland.

    I know this is getting long but I just want to add that I totally agree about writing anime reviews. There are people in our community here that write amazing in depth reviews that I learn so much from and I just think…uh, I liked it. LOL. Mind you, I like your reviews, but yeah, do what makes YOU HAPPY and I’ll be happy, okay?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do think preferred pronounces are important, for basically the exact reason you did kind of describe afterwards.
      You see me as girl/woman, the way I want to be seen. A fair few people in OWLS already knew I was Trans so had .. Naja constantly referred to me as He/Him I would have been robbed of this safe space.. and I am gonna be honest, if people made me a male on this space.. I would no longer be here… .I might have not even been alive anymore… so they are signigicant…. just not in the way the “Last Samurai” people for LGBTI use it.

      Pronouces are a preferences, I feel more confortable if people refer to me as female. It doesn’t make reffering to me as male a crime or “wrong” , just short sighted and it does rob me of quality of life.

      Dad and mom use male pronounces for me still and I hate it. ,mom just in third person dad also to my face. But as a result I feel very uncomfortable around strangers with them.

      I think they make things more difficult than they are.. either side. Instead of calling me Mr in all letters that get send to be…before a certain point, let me choose who I want to be addressed. Why do my genetics determine this.

      In the end people can call me whatever they want..but refering to my biological identity makes me severely unhappy.. so pronouces matter.

      I do think the whole “pride” thing is going to far though… I am not Trans-female and proud.. I am just a female… I am not that different from JK Rowling, or those who are born with two X chromosomes and feel like women as well. I am me.. and I prefer to be called a woman.

      However society is utterly incapable of dealing with that.. even if they are openn minded.. If I would wear a dress before I transitioned it would not be.. cute girl.. but .. look a guy in a dress… while if I did not wear a dress I would not be referred to at all. I know in my heart that one day.. those genetics will no longer matter. Only for sex maybe.. but I also know I will not see that day.. I want to be happy and that means I wanted to see a woman in the mirror I want to look cuter in a dress than I did before! I want to be able to buy a pizza and instead of them saying “have a nice meal mister” I want them to say madamme… so I feel they see the real me.. the one I see.

      That flag.. and coming out for me isn’t a matter of pride and setteling… I am proud that I am courageous enough to take that journey and become the truest form of me sure… but that truest form of me is still a woman… not “trans-woman” or a member of some sort of community.

      I am just a woman, nothing more, nothing less and I do feel that “pride” or flags can take away from that. I do not care what people call me behind my back, I do not care , what my DNA says.. or what parts are there.. .but if people talk like Pinkie, he is a trans.. that has that island blog right? Then I feel like they are referring to the wrong person.. and I feel like Pinochio. People see a doll, while there is a real person there… but if we’d say call Pinnochio.. A “magically created” human .. that dream of his to become a real boy becomes tainted as magically created and magically created conflict.
      I want to be a real woman..and here online I already am, but out there, where vocal tones, and appearances are measured to determine your true gender… pronouces to me show much more your true gender than the tone of my voice or look of my face

      Liked by 2 people

  7. All I can say to this is AMEN.

    One of my friends used to have a terrible time with her family, who never accepted her transition and always called her by her boy name and him/he and yes, in public this was a disaster. There was this big scene when her parents took her to dinner one evening and the waitress practically jumped in front of her because she had to go to the bathroom and she headed for the men’s room to keep from arguing with family, the waitress thought she was brain dead or something and almost dragged her to the women’s room, while her family looked on and snarled and gave her hell when she got back to the table – sigh. That family was really a nightmare. I don’t want anyone in the world to have to put up with that kind of drama. It’s too painful. So I understand, and I really try to remember and give people whatever pronoun is their preferred. And I spend time wishing the stupid English language had a non-gendered set of pronouns that everyone just used normally and be the end of it.

    There are women with deep voices. I had a dear friend who was a born woman with a deep voice – and she was a tiny little thing, too. And yes, she got asked if she was a “real” woman. Ridiculous. And it’s no one elses business anyway.

    Just, please, can we just all get along and accept each other as we are. (whine)

    It’s kind of a seperatist thing – like how the powers that be here in the U.S. has tried every which way to seperate us as much as they can over anything and everything. Pointing you out as “trans-woman” or saying you “have” to be in the “trans-woman community” makes about as much sense as saying, well, okay, Summer was sexually abused. So let’s call her that sexually abused woman who has a blog about anime and stuff and she’s part of the sexually abused community – and then believe me what would happen is that community would break down into “well I was abused when I was just two years old”, “well my abuser caused so much physical harm I can’t have children” and the “my abuser was a stranger who kidnapped me” and the “my abuser was my real father so I’m not like YOU whose abuser was their step father” Okay, I’m just going to upset myself here. Sigh.It’s all so damn stupid in my mind.


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