It’s a new format: Princess Talks – Episode 1

Greetings Pleasants, as people might know I had a recent spell of blogging Dysphoria that made me question if I even want to keep pursuing this blog. It’s a great world and community, but I am not sure if it is fully my community! I do enjoy myself when writing, but dealing with that other stuff has been a struggle, stuff like topic selection, or what I want to achieve with a post. Also stuff like editing efforts and such! So I decided to develop a format that would deal with my issues! And out came out Pinkie Talks.

Why Pinkie Talks was born

I always had a dream of a very interactive blog, focussed on creative content, rather than reviews. However for those topics I am in a niche that isn’t large enough to maintain that interactivity. Reviews would be received well, and I consider tose low effort posts for me personally, while high effort posts did not nearly do as well. When my closest chat friends became aware and pointed out that lots of times my comment sections end up empty I realised I was burning a lot of energy on formats that I could not maintain without interactivity. I can not turn people into conceptual Pokémon if no one in my comments said.. Wow I like this, do me next. I COULD write anime concepts based on random things using wheels and generators.. but again..I’d burn energy to update said wheel, while I rather have it from audience interaction anyway. That is not anyone’s fault , it is just me structuring my posts wrong. I became dependent on my audience, and with me often to find enough energy to make it trough a day I could not keep up with 70 blogs to ensure interaction either.

Is a Bad Dad Better Than No Dad? | TrueManhood.com

WordPress should be obligation free, for anyone. You do not OWE me a response, so I should not demand one. I might be a princess, but that was still wrong. I have no legal authority in your country yet after all! Still the passion to write was there.. so I wanted something that is more static in nature. Yet also something that isn’t what everyone else does. It’s not that I dislike reviewng or dislike all of your reviews… it is a much deeper issue. Whatever I attempted as a kid.. dad always told me I was not good enough in that… he still does! He recently told me I will suck as a streamer/VTuber. He talked down on the whole idea.. and when dad is a video producer/online content maker/web designer.. that stings.


Whatever sport I played as a kid, whatever hobby I picked.. he told me I was not good enough. What’s worse is.. I believed him. It nestled in my brain and stuck there…. so now whenever I do something I see the mass does.. my brain will ALWAYS tell me I am not good enough. I WILL be the worst streamer, I AM the worst blogger…not factually but in my head… in my dads voice that is a truth I still can’t deny! It sucks the joy out of things quite often…. but when I am unique and do things my way… . I might suck…but you also can’t compare me to others.

Now while Pinkie talks, is in essence just a log on what’s happening in my life and mind, and thus it is the very first defintion of blogs, I can escape that sense of judgement..because I am not reporting about Cowboy Bebop.. or Breath of the Wild, I am reporting about ME. I am the only person in the world who makes logs about me… so while I am the worst at it.. most likely I also am the best. I tried to trick myself into this by making my reviews personal…but I saw to many people write about what they wanted to see in reviews and adding standard elements to it.. I fell in that pitfall over and over again.. so I needed to find a way to cope! And doing my own little talkshow and log could work well so I made this a reality!

The Rig of my Dreams… and nightmares

My Vtuber dream is slowly coming to fruition, I am making steps to be the true content creator I desire, and I always admitted that blogging was just me settling, It was the video dream that I had as a kid… but surprise surprise, that costs money, which I did not have at the time. Now Covid helped me save a lot of money because I managed to break free of all those social things I do with friends for quite a while. They all say it costs nothing… it’s just a movie…, it’s just fastfood or it’s a ticket to a theme park but today it’s just … … Well , living on benefits I just realised how much money that costs. About a PC per half year! And that is in a market where scalpers have driven up the prices of pc’s very highly. I love my friends and I love doing stuff with them but my love for them kept my dream under lock and key.. and Covid gave me that key. I could make the sacrifice ..without it being a sacrifice!

Sharkoon VG6-W RGB behuizing met een doorzichtig zijpaneel en drie RGB ventilatoren

So I bought a great new PC! An “AMD Ryzen 5 5600X 6-Core (12 threads) 3.7Ghz (turbo: 4.6Ghz) Nvidia Geforce RTX 2060 GPU 256GB SSD 16GB DDR4” It even has rainbow fans.. it says on the box! It got delivered to me two days ago! … mostly! The Keyboard I ordered with it did not get delivered…. which is a problem if you have a Laptop! It got delivered in parts anyway and I can’t do the whole pc making thing so a friend of mine will come over to fix that..but I need all parts first so right now it is just sitting pretty on my desk! I proudly showed it to my dad..well the advert to it.. just to realise right after I purchased it .. it dropped 200 euro’s in price! … Frick! Even though I got it on sale, with a banner that said.. this sale will last for 12 more days! It did.. but the base price just lowered! … So that soured my joy a bit!

I got two 24 inch MSI HD screens with it as well! Which had the correct ports to hook it up ot my new tower without problems, and I got those on a fairly sharp sale as well! So I am quite content! They got delivered exactly on time and in good condition so nothing to complain about with that! I am over the moon! With two screens I can finally stream…….. had my microphone been delivered. You see I ordered an adorable Microphone which was supposed to be delivered by amazon yesterday. Including a boom!

Now Insomnia got to me that night so I did not sleep the entire night prior while I was waiting on my early morning delivery! Promising myself I would get a nap afterwards… but alas it got postponed till the afternoon, then until evening and then I got an e-mail saying it would be delivered a few days later. When I woke up this morning I got an email I send them back for a refund which if I did not do this myself meant the goods have been damaged. I will be refunded in 5 to 7 days…. so now I have to order this cutie again! It does mean I can get a capture card along with it as well though! So that’s a plus!

All in all I am super excited to get my new goodies.. but I am being very unlucky in the way I am getting it.

My first Stream

I am quite nervous for today as it will mark my first guest stream! My rig is clearly not set up yet.. but with my headset and an interactive PNG I will make my first appearance on the Twitch page of my new found friend VBI-Kun. Who is a blue cat spicy seiso V-Tuber. Spicy Seiso means … Spicy Pure. This means while the content technically is safe for work, you might want to reconsider showing your boss that this is what you are up to in your spare time. Unwise For Work.. I would call it!

Anyway VBI is a great streamer, who is quite active in the same community as I am and I try to pop by his streams when I can! Besides him I will be playing a game with about six strangers. So I am actually quite nervous! Mostly because it is my voice debut and I hate everything about my voice! I will be talking in character and overly accentuated Falsetto, until I get more speech therapy. So I am kinda nervous! For those interested in the cat man, you can find him at https://www.twitch.tv/vbi_kun

Gartic Phone - The Telephone Game

The game we will be playing is called Gartic Phone, which is a web (and I assume mobile) based game where you draw a prompt another player has mentioned. Which can be something weird like “Wolverine eating cabbage” Then the next player is shown your drawing..and they have to make up a new tag for it. Then the next person draws THAT tag and so on! Like one of those old message chain games..but with drawing AND speaking! It’s a really neat game! But there is one problem! I can now draw to save the life of me! Let alone draw within a time limit. Now I know VBI isn’t as much as an artist as many other vtubers either.. but he still draws better than me! So putting my pictures on display for all the world to see is something I look forward to doing.. but I might stand out between artists! Because so many vtubers are artists!… and as people will see tonight (my time) I am not!

Spare Time

I have been pretty insomniac lately so free time is kinda blobbing together with moments of nothingness. I have been watching a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh online content lately which has taken up the slots of my pokemon content , which I am currently on a small break off.. well not really but I just assume less pokémon content. My favourite show to currently follow on the web is Cimooooo’s Progression series. Which is a Yu-Gi-Oh series where the content creator opens Yu-GI-Oh packs (a booster boxx worth of them in virtual form) builds a deck with them.. and then they move to the next set.. getting a new booster box to slowly upgrade their deck!

Man do I enjoy that series! Even though they have entered the horrible generation of pendulums it is nice to see some actualy strategies across the generations that do not involve total blow outs! I also am very much enjoying the History of Yu-Gi-oh series by the same guy! Which highlights iconic decks and Meta builds from ages past! So good! Recently a new series has shown up where he builds one time decks using booster sets in chronological order. .. but this time all the old cards are tossed out! I am hyped for the future!

The Ice Road: Netflix dropt trailer voor keiharde thriller met Liam Neeson

I watched a very generic movie about ice road truckers, miners and Liam Neeson… It’s called Ice Road and I did not like the movie. I wanted to watch something dumb… and I kinda got that but it was written al wrong. Exposition focussed on the wrong things, emotional moments did not hit their mark and Lawrence Fishburne was completely wasted in a movie that is very generic. The only thing I did like about it was the story!

After a mining accident, a cooperation hires three truckers to bring them the one thing that can rescue the miners… but unbeknownst to our heroes, that same company wants their mission to fail because they cut back costs and increase productivity by disabeling security systems… I do feel that this is indeed an evil of these times, much more so then all those gangs and human trafficking circuits Liam usually encounters. However this is basically a Steven Segal movie with a 70 year old lead. It’s bland and you are better of watching the Ice Road series on discovery… though that has less crazy antics and gunfire.

I tried to watch an anime but I lacked the energy! I tried to get back into animal crossing on Switch but I found myself less drawn to the cute characters and the tedium as before, I started a new island and I slipped up in a few placements and I realised I would have to wait about a week or so before I could fix that and it deflated my passion. I tried to install Beyond Good and Evil on my laptop which was gifted to me by Indigo.. but it installs in french for me… which is very obnoxious mostly because I dont speak french! It is impossible to change the language because that was selectd in the old launcher.. and that doesnt run on the steam version! If I get the Ubisoft Launcher THAT in english and then install the game clean with no trace files of it left it should play in english…but that means

Amnesia and Soma Developers Tease Next Game With Some Rocks and Eerie  Wailing | USgamer

I will play it on my new pc instead. I am trying to make my way trough Soma which is an submarine/machine based horror type game! It is really cool, but the fact that I am a machine and not a person does kinda suck the horror out of it! Still a cool game to play! I love making friends with the little lamp robots underwater and finding several ways to solve a puzzle. Quite good even if I am not very excited let alone be scared . It started out really scary though! It kinda makes me want to play Alien Isolation! I have also been playing some serious legacy of the duelist! A yugioh game I got on Switch.. I have nearly completed 100% of the GX matches and I can finally move onto 5d’s which is my favourite era in Yugioh!

Plans

To wrap this post up , let’s talk a bit about what I am planning next week! And to be honest, I am not sure! I hope I can get my pc working that week, but I really need my keyboard and he microphone set to come in in order to make that for work. I am getting some more gender therapy sessions which is good and I think I have an appointment with my psychologist set as well, so all in all it will be a great week for my mental health as having acces to said new pc is to be sure to heighten my spirts as well. If my Insomnia doesn’t break me down to much I plan to do one or two videos for my youtube channel as well. .. Again IF I can get my microphone delivered. I want to make a video where I explain the rules of my channel and maybe do one where I tell a story! I might even convert these Pinkie talks into videos at a certain point.

As for blogs go, will there be any next week?! I am not sure! The laptop had it’s backspace key break! Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, blogging without backspace is quite annoying! So it depends! I will at least try to do something for the anniversary on saturday, but I am currently still unsure what to do. It might be a bit silly to celebrate two years of blogging anyway! So who knows! We might get something we might not, it’s all up to what I feel like. and that feels okay! I am happy with, I feel no more obligation to my blog, now I can finally blog just for fun! Freedom!

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Princess Pinkie

A 34 year old, super pink, Geek blogger, from the Netherlands behind the keyboard. A 21 year old , Unicorn-Duck Princess VBlogger on the border of imagination and reality!

12 thoughts on “It’s a new format: Princess Talks – Episode 1”

  1. Nice rig pinkie!! 😃. Just use a bog standard k + m for now. Till your new kb comes. I’ll give your stream a look see xDD. Even put it on my auto host list.

    Also, your dad’s an ass. Fuck him. Do want you want to. Having over 600 followers, getting a fair amount of traffic on your blog, isn’t a failure.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. 600 followers is not bad indeed! I also don’t think the blog is a failure I am just not fully getting out of it what I personally want to get out of it. You know I want more Mallows in a way

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I feel your pain.

    I am also floundering in my own blogs. In a lot of ways, I’m running out of things to say. I would also like more interactivity but comments of more than a few words are rare. I’m not a YouTube kind of guy. Apparently, the thing to do for a popular blog is short, light-hearted pieces. The question is: How important is it to me that people actually read my posts thru? What if I don’t feel light-hearted anymore?

    Worse yet, last season’s anime did not inspire me much. Everything else felt ok but a little meh. There was only one show that really caught my attention, Super Cub. Difficult to get excited about shows like Joran or Mars Red where the idea was good but the execution wasn’t so great. I’m also in a down part of my emotional cycle and anime that leaves you sad aren’t welcome right now.

    I can talk about nude hiking endlessly. That draws huge numbers of views but not so many likes and not so many from what I consider my WP “family.”

    It all leaves me scratching my head.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry for not commenting on your blog as often! I have read most of what you wrote.. but for some reason WordPress on phone decides I can not respond , yet another broken thing that frustrates me on the website!

      I HAVE to read at my desktop or I can’t interact.. and I like reading on my mobile. .. but then I have to remember to log in later and react…which doesn’t go well for a scatter brain like me!

      I really miss like this STELLAR anime to suck me back into the whole thing! Everything that is recent that I have enjoyed is in a fairly casual way where my opinion is basically “yeah that’s okay” but I cant really have fun writing it.. because there isn’t much to tell. I can do that checklist.. characters, animation, story, pacing etc but that is not me. I am more about the magic that makes all elements tie together.. that makes an anime that has mid plot, mid characters and mid animation great… because there is something loveable hidden. I don’t really get that from anything.. besides maybe Digimon but that is also formulaic to keep up telling about.

      I do like the stories about your hikes, but much as with the story I wrote, I am not very aware of the culture so I am semi afraid to look stupid.

      I do like light-hearted posts as well but it doesn’t scratch that same writers itch for me. It’s fun..doesn’t challenge me as much … yet if I put loads of effort in a post it usually gets less likes..because it isn’t digestable enough.

      So I end up in this weird position where my will to write complex things is being drained because of underappreciation, but my will to write lighthearted stuff is being drained by not being what I truely want to do.

      If I made a post with the top 5 todoroki moments from my Hero Academia.. and I just google the clips and put them in there, I get more likes than writing about the duality of a more subtle character like Spike Spiegel or Hikaru from Hikaru no Go.

      It doesn’t mean I want to write think pieces all the time , but my biggest quality as a writer, my originality/ creativity, is rarely what I am judged on, rather is it weeb enough and is it skimable. I am judged on artist standards that are not me.. and that got under my skin!

      I think you are in a bit of a similar position. You look at things from other angles and do things your way, but it means something has to touch you.. You at least in my eyes are a passion blogger. You write about deep pains, events in your life that touch you and other things that invoke strong memories or emotional responses. Like your passion for space, hiking and the stories about the doves.. it all has a theme.

      But it is not a theme you can create for .. for creations sake..You can not choose to be passionate about thing or have strong reactions, let alone react to them when you are in an emotional low and probably shut yourself off a bit to avoid dealing with pain.. which also reduces you experiencing those other emotional responses. You can not get what you need for or from blogging because you yourself are at the core of your content and not the content by itself.

      Where people who review anime, semi objectively can take themselvs out of the equasion we can not so our content falters with us and when a post we are passionate about does not do well .. I at least get a sense of being misunderstood.

      So for us to be more (generally) succesful we have to take ourselves more out of our articles, and that contradicts us. Yet because we put something senstive in our pieces we can’t help but be aware of it happening?!

      I know there are a lot of people who read between the lines, people like Crow , Ospreyshire, Roki, you and even more, yet I am to aware of my numbers suddenly going way up if I write something quick with less me. I honestly do not know how to cross this hill yet, but I will find out!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Like you, I hate using my phone. It is a stopgap until I can get to a PC with a large screen and a big keyboard.

        I am a terrible example of my culture. My “culture” is far too insular, like an oppressed religion or a secretive clique. I am an example of only me.

        You would NEVER be stupid. You’re much too intelligent and kind-hearted for that.

        I am also just figuring this out. I just dropped 99% of my blog. my views dropped by 60% but my likes only dropped 20%. I figure that a lot of those missing views must once come from internet searches. One at a time I may add back a few of the old posts that consistently got the most views. But I honestly don’t know where to go from there.

        I have like 450 old posts sitting there. I don’t think anyone really has any favorites they are dying to see. Some of my hikes have shown up on my imnotdeadyet.life blog.

        One thing I have learned is that my self-care posts never got a lot of love. Most of them are on the other blog as well.

        But as Thoreau once said, “Simplify, simply simplify!” Maybe write the long and involved posts and then pare it away to the minimum needed to get my feelings across. But then, part of the problem of long and involved posts is the time they take t write. I can literally spend days on a post. If it takes several times longer to write something than to actually do it, what did I gain?

        Heavy sigh!

        Like

  3. Roki pretty much said it all about your dad. Even those of us who have supportive parents have issues with our parents telling us that we can’t do stuff or we’re not good enough at something. The whole parent/child dynamic sucks. That’s not me saying get over it or anything, my point is that you can do this. You are doing it! You started this post by saying about your dad putting you down and the rest is basically an essay proving him wrong. From you working on your computer, to getting the speech therapy you need, and to working with a friend to dip your toe into the water slowly; that’s you doing it and you’re doing it the *healthy* way too, which I’m so happy to see as your friend.

    Can’t wait to see what comes next!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It’s not like I do not feel accomplished I have done some good things and I know I am working on things.. and I can do more than he gives me credit for… the issue is more with every time I have to write a review…. I hear that voice doubting me again. I know he is wrong.. but it just takes effort to gain that confidence… I am at a point where some content does not give me enough “back” to go trough that every time. So I adapt.. he literally traumatised me apparently.
      Maybe he did not mean it bad but it is something I apparently carry with me.

      When I told hm about my blog he basically said “but what good will that do you.. 600 followers doesn’t make you any money.. so why waste time on it. You should do something more useful like making product images or build websites for other people. … you know that type of thing.

      I am doing me , as I want to be and what I want to do.. and that’s not the person he wants me to be, I never was.. even though I realise he is wrong… if you are spoonfed you are a dissapointment so much.. it does something and as I am changing lanes .. sort of speak it’s hard to not look back at things and wonder if he is right.. even if you know he is wrong.

      But yeah I am making choices to make me happy so I look forward to the future! It will be alright.. I will find my success and happiness , in some way shape or form in the very near future and when that day comes he wont be a part of it!

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Coming from a not so frequent reader of your blog, I say go for it. Try new things. There’s no obligation to be the best at anything (except from the internet maybe, and parents).

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m terribly sorry to hear that about your dad. While my dad never said those things to me, other people have like some teachers, bullies and people at previous jobs said I would never amount to anything with anything I put my mind to it. It’s why I had a bad habit of not wanting to try different things or quit when I felt I wasn’t getting good at anything kind of like I was proving them right even if they weren’t around me. This year, I’ve been realizing how much I was psychologically afflicted in subtle ways that I didn’t notice when I was younger. Sometimes, I wished I was encouraged more when I was trying something and counteracting against negative rhetoric against me (especially the covert examples). It’s probably why I’ve had moments of anger in some of my poems and even some of my reviews where it shows.

    I’m glad you’re blogging for fun and not caring too much about what others think. Good on you for getting a new computer setup for your VTuber ambitions. I hope you succeed there and anything else you try, Pinkie.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Good luck with everything Pinkie. Keep at it and I’m sure you’ll see progress. If it’s anything like blogging, it may be a slow grind but just remember that every single piece of content you create will build you up.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Wow sounds like you’re pretty busy ! I’ll have to watch you on twitch . Also becoming a v-tuber sounds awesome !
    And I haven’t forgotten I still need to do the rainbow post ! I have so many anime shows to talk about 😂 glad to see you’re back ✨

    Like

  8. “…or what I want to achieve with a post.”

    You’re trying to achieve stuff with your posts?! I should probably try that! I usually just sit down and belt out whatever comes to mind… hence the the unusual topics I meander about and my complete lack of accomplishments! 😛

    In response to the ALT text on the first image… “Is a Bad Dad Better Than No Dad?” Yes, Primum non nocere. Depending on how you define “bad”, I lean toward saying that with no dad you at least don’t have the bad. 0 + 0 = 0 but 0 + -1 = -1 therefore a negative (bad) outweighs the neutral (lack of).

    Looking forward to the talk show, I imagine it will be like Pinkie meets Space Ghost Coast to Coast where Pinkie interviews Pinkie with various incarnations of Pinkie acting a co-host and weather forecaster and a giant pink duckling in a pink kaiju lake acting as like an announcer, but no matter what I’m sure it will be fun and interesting! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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