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That Time The Pink Panther Reincarnated As …

A little while ago Sunny dropped a package at Pinkie’s castle. Hastily wrapped up with some kelp and in the sand near Pinkie’s private beach and flight dock he spelled… Is this okay?! In seashells on the beach. Pinkie opened the package and examined it. It was a story about an already fictional character going on an adventure. The Princess was reminded of her own Dragon Ball stories, or the brainstorm of what would have happened if Ash was a girl. However this was even more adorably retro! So not only was Sunny allowed to post this story! She would really hope she would see more of these posts in the future! So please enjoy this brand new adventure of an old familiar face!

You absolutely must watch and listen to the theme first. Badum badum…badum…badum badum badum bababa baaaaaaaaa dadadada…

The Pink Panther was having a casual stroll down the street, when a glint of gold caught his eye. There – it was a lamp! Rather like the lamp from Alladin’s Tale. Very well then, thought Pink, I shall give it a rub.

Rather than a genie, the lamp produced a smarmy ad voice touting the advantages of taking a job as a lamp genie! Intrigued, Pink climbed on into the lamp and soon re-emerged dressed as a genie. He approached a number of people offering them wishes, but no one seemed to believe him. The last grouch kicked the lamp – with Pink still in it – out into the street. Still in the lamp Pink ducked and dodged as best he could but a big delivery van came roaring seemingly from nowhere and SPLAT the lamp was totally flattened. Pink had a moment of utter shock as his world became flat, and then he passed out.

He wasn’t sure how much later he awoke. He was in a rather grand bedroom with rich appointments, sprawled over a bed with satin sheets but strangely enough, he was still wearing his genie outfit. Even stranger, he realized, sitting bolt upright and catching a full view of himself in a mirror across from the bed – he was… he was a woman? A human woman? He stared at himself in the mirror. The only thing that looked faintly familiar were his golden eyes, and that damn genie outfit. Only now instead of hanging fashionably loose over his slender pink silhouette, it was bulgingly full with a lush female body. Long, pink curls cascaded from her head down her back and sides. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. So did the reflection. Undeniably him. Her. It was all most confusing.

A man appeared at the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel and a smirk. “Well. Made yourself comfortable, have you? The costume is great but I’m afraid there’s a bit too much of it. I hope you brought your own music? I’d like for you to dance for me and strip slowly.” The man approached, dropping his towel to display an impressive expanse of belly covered in a coarse coat of hair, which continued down his legs and arms and probably his back as well.

Pink shrieked like a girl – well, what else? – and jumped up off the bed to run around it, putting the bed between himself and the man. Glancing over his shoulder he saw a sliding glass door that opened into a small balcony. The lights of a vast city spread below. Strange sights, a ferris wheel, a huge roman sort of villa, a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower picked out in lights, a pyramid! Where was he? When was he!?

“Frisky, eh? Well, I don’t mind a bit of play. Now come here you little genie!” The man rolled up off the bed and crouched, then made a dash towards Pink. Pink squealed again and teetered on ridiculously high heels to the balcony. He peered over the railing to see a glorious pool surrounded by lounge chairs and a tiki bar. There was also a raised dais where a strangely attired man leapt around from side to side, shouting on a mic now and then. Lights flashed and whirled and dozens of beautiful women of all ages danced, drank, and swam attired in tiny swim suits and formal gowns. Every thing sparkled. Pink found himself dazzled and when he could hear the man panting behind him he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and threw himself over the railing.

A mighty splash. Screams. And then laughter as the crowd decided it must be some sort of stunt. Especially as Pink was quite unharmed as he began to swim with all the dignity he could muster towards the side of the pool. As he pulled himself out he looked down and realized that he might as well be naked as the see through harem costume molded itself to his ridiculously luscious curves.

Girls all around him started to pull and push and undulate against him. One bold lass even grabbed his face and dared to kiss. With tongue! Staggered, Pink ducked his head as if shy and raced for the bar. Once he was safely seated on the barstool, he spun himself towards the bartender, who was wearing a dark blue suit.

“What can I get for you, darling?”

Pink hesitated. He was quite sure he had no pockets in this outfit. He gulped. She gulped. Confusing.

The bartender made a dismissive wave, “Don’t worry about money. All included. Just give me a room number and I’ll put it on the check.”

Pink thought about it. Then held up two fingers. The bartender eyed him.

“Don’t talk much do you?”

Pink shook his head. And held up 3 fingers.

The bartender chuckled, and poured out a shot glass from a bottle labeled “3 Fingers Tequila” and shoved it across the bar. With a delighted smile, Pink raised the glass to his lips and swallowed. For a moment he thought his throat might actually be on fire. He puffed some breath at the bartender to see if flames shot out. The bartender gave him a funny look, then refilled the glass. Pink felt a delicious soothing warmth fill his belly, despite the breeze and his wet clothing. The second shot went down much smoother.

Ten shots later…

Pink staggered around the crowd, giggling and stumbling but as much of the crowd was doing the same, no one seemed to mind. The strange man on the raised dias stopped the horrific loud but rhythmic noise and spoke for a few minutes but the words hardly made sense to Pink whether because of a language gap or the excessive amount of system in his, eh, her system, well.

A bouncy blond woman grabbed Pink by the arm. “You’re just the kind of girl we’re looking for! Do you want to be famous and be able to tell all your friends to watch for you on the MTV broadcast?” she asked cheerily.

Always agreeable, Pink nodded.

“Great!” she gushed as she handed him a white t-shirt. “Put this on.”

Hoping it might be a little warmer than the frail wisp of top to the genie costume, Pink quickly peeled that off and pulled on the t-shirt. Oh! It was warmer!

The perky woman pushed and pulled and herded him and among a group of giggly girls also wearing white t-shirts, towards the raised platform. She lined them all up on top of the platform, to the cheers of the audience. One by one she went down the line asking for their names, ages, and hometown until she got to Pink, who just smiled and shrugged. She said, “Oh a shy one!” into the mic, but leaned in and asked, “You ARE over 21, right?” Pink nodded vigorously. Although really, he wasn’t sure at the moment.

The woman stepped away and then suddenly from nowhere and everywhere water began hitting the girls on the platform! Most of them squealed with delight and began to dance around, pulling their shirts down to show off their breasts and jumping up and down to accentuate how perky they were. Pink stood stock still in shock for a moment, but then began to scrabble up the curtains behind him to get away from the water! He had quite enough of being wet today, and the t-shirt was almost warm compared to the genie outfit!

Burly men in black suits came running at him. Pink scrabbled harder and jumped, landing on the top of the dias with the weird man and those tables and things. There was an almighty crash as the whole thing went over. The lights went out. The music stopped. The water continued to fall, but the screams were less of delight than of fear. Pink ran through the darkness until he found a door. He opened it to find lights and a hallway that he ran down as fast as he could stumble in the golden high heels. At the end was an elevator so Pink jumped inside and hit all the buttons, and then sat down on the floor to take those wretched heels off his suffering feet. He was still struggling with the straps when the elevator began to stop at every floor and open for a moment.

On one floor two men dressed in sparkly white suits stepped on, accompanied by a white tiger.

When they stepped off another man with black wavy hair in another spangled white suit – a jumpsuit – got on. He peered at Pink sitting on the floor rubbing his feet. “Don’t tell anyone you saw me honey” he said in a sultry tone before he got off at another floor.

Then six blue men got on the elevator. Pink stood and looked around at them. They looked back. He smiled. They smiled back. It looked very strange with their blue faces to see such white teeth. Pink shrugged. They shrugged and smiled. They looked around at each other and nodded. When the elevator opened again, a blue man took each of Pink’s elbows and escorted him off the elevator!

They took him down long dim halls and down some stairs. He could vaguely hear applause, laughter, and bursts of music now and then through the thin walls. The blue men took him into a room with mirrors and tables down one side and all sorts of clothes on racks on the other. A couple of the men handed him a dark blue skin tight outfit. The fabric was strange to Pink’s touch, but it looked nice and cozy so he slipped into it and gave the men a grateful smile and a nod before he walked to the door.

Suddenly, one of the men blocked his way, and kindly but firmly directed Pink to a chair. Well. Really. S/he was rather tired. Pink sat. The blue men bustled about until someone outside banged on the door and said “Two minutes”. That’s when two of the men took Pink by the elbows again and they all rushed up a narrow hall, up a few steps, and out onto a stage! The blue men bowed and the audience clapped and Pink stood dumbstruck by the spotlight.

The blue men began rushing about and as they did, one or two of them would herd Pink this way or that way until it was clear Pink was part of the act but he had no idea, uh, she had no idea, oh dear. There was a row of drums in a big circle and as Pink ran from one to the next each time s/he touched a drum suddenly a blue man came to life behind it and as they performed a drum roll colored liquid and light of some kind shot up into the air. It was dazzling and beautiful and more than a little scary for Pink! Finally the men danced and whirled Pink until they whirled her right off the stage. She stumbled down the stairs and sat at the bottom as the audience applauded. Her head was still spinning. Where on earth was she? Surely this wasn’t any heaven Pink had ever heard of.

Pink heard music again. But this song was strangely compelling. It drew her from the stairs, down another hallway, and through a door that led back into the lush white and gold rooms filled with people. People of all ages, dressed in all sorts of clothes and colors, but they all seemed to be attached to machine that dinged and booped and pinged and spun wheels and flashed lights and shouted out nonsense phrases like “I’ll be back” and “I’d like to buy a vowel” and now and then there was the sound of coins falling and everyone would yell at once. Still, Pink could hear the music and she followed it until she finally found a door that led outside.

She walked down a long elevated outdoor hall, like a Greek palace, over a garden and water until she somehow came out onto a dingy city street. Lights and noise assaulted her as people pushed and shoved past laughing and carrying drinks and pointing at all the lights.

And the lights! Big lights, small lights, lights that flashed and seemed to run one after another and change colors. Names in lights, pictures in lights, entire little movies on some signs. A fountain gushed in time to music and lights and people oohed and ahhed and still Pink could hear the faint strains of the haunting song that had drawn her outside.

She walked down the street, her eyes filled with wonder – as indeed were those of many alongside her. A big double decker bus whooshed past her and puffed to a stop. Pink could hear the music somehow inside. She stepped up and a man stepping out handed her a yellow card, saying “there’s a few hours left to this pass. You can use it.” as he smiled and walked away.

Pink held out the yellow card and the bus driver pointed at a strange machine. Someone reached past her and ran their little card through the slot. There was a beep and the bus driver nodded and they went and sat down. Pink slid her card through the slot and the machine beeped and the bus driver nodded and said, “Move on back, hon, other people need to get on.”

Wandering towards the back Pink heard the music again. A young-ish man with shaggy blond hair nodded in time to music. He wore a yellow shirt, and yellow shorts, and a yellow hat. He was as sunny yellow as Pink was pink! Pink sat down beside him and he smiled and nodded. She nodded back and saw then the wires going into his ears from a box in his hand. The music was coming from there. Pink looked intently at the box, and the young man smiled and took one of the wires out of his ear, offering it to Pink. She tucked a pink curl behind one ear and put the little thing in her ear.

She heard, “Welcome to the new age, to the new age, welcome to the new age, to the new age…” Her golden eyes flew open wide and she looked at the young fellow in yellow. He grinned and patted her on the knee.

“It’s going to be okay, Pink. You’ll see.”

Pink blinked, nodded, and for the first time since the truck hit the lamp, relaxed.

Sunny’s Five (or so) Bestest Video game (or video game adjacent) Writers

Regardless of what you may think, much of the time that you THINK Sunny is just sitting on the beach, holding a fishing pole and gazing at the horizon he is actually THINKING. At least, that’s what he wants you to think.

Sometimes, he’s just thinking – I wonder if I still have any bait on this hook? Or, is that a nibble? He certainly is NOT thinking about putting out every other light at the tiki bar and then hiding the ladder to drive Kuro and Periwinkle crazy. And he knows nothing about that enormous Grouper that was in the pool yesterday.

No, he’s been considering which writers he wants to sing the praises of to answer Periwinkle’s video game writer challenge. Because Sunny can either think of way more than five, or less than two, because he tends towards video games that lack any real story. Mostly. But there are some very notable exceptions, and here they are. Oh, and one writer who is video game adjacent but he really loves this writers work so he’s shoehorning it in here.

For instance, speaking of more than five, there is the cooperative of writers who created Katawa Shoujo all of whom are listed on the link. Katawa Shoujo – which can be downloaded at the same website, is a beautiful, kind, compassionate, understanding and open visual novel about a young man who develops a heart condition, and is transferred to a boarding school that specializes in accommodating young people with disabilities. Of course, he meets a number of beautiful young women each with their own talents and abilities, and oh, a disability as well. Sunny hasn’t dated all of them yet, because he’s fallen madly in love with Lilly Satou and no matter who he sets out to win – he always ends up with Lilly because he can’t resist her.

Npckc is the writer of one night, hot springs, a VN which is also downloadable at the writer/developers website (linked to their name there) or on Steam. It is very short, but very sweet, and very kind. It is focused on Haru, a Japanese transgender woman, who was invited to the hot springs by her old friend Manami to celebrate Manami’s upcoming wedding with all her girl pals. All Haru wants to do is to enjoy being with everyone else, but because she is transgender there are special considerations to be kept in mind. It’s a beautiful story, well written, and thoughtful about situations transgender people deal with every day in every country with grace and forbearance and in this case, with the kind support of her friends.

Choice of Games is a sort of central webhost/developer/sales for a number of people writing text based adventure games. Sunny is super hooked on these games and has played a few of them over and over and over. A special treat has been Night Road, a game written in the Vampire the Masquerade world and even though they haven’t yet added his favorite Malkavian clan for it, he’s sure they’ll get around to it. The writer is Kyle Marquis. He does a fantastic job of holding onto that noir dystopian feeling while still providing plenty of adventure and choice. You can purchase it through Google Play or on Steam along with all later updates adding various clans. You can find out more about them here.

Evan J. Peterson wrote Drag Star! For Choice of Games and it can be found on Google play and probably other places. It’s a quick, fun romp at being a contestant on a game show verrrrrrrry similar to RuPaul’s Drag Race. You can be campy, comedic, avant garde’, or classy or any combination. Be catty and mean or sweet and peace making (Sunny, of course, is always a sweet peace maker – as far as you need to know). This is a short game, but don’t worry, you’ll probably play it more than once. Kudos to the writer for capturing the fun and flair of drag stars! Mr. Peterson has his own website here and does quite a bit of writing in many forms!

Sunny likes fun and humor in his text based games – and Fox Spirit: A Two Tailed Adventure serves plenty of both, with a little dose of Japanese style fairy tale and fantasy setting. Amy Clare Fontaine is the writer and she spins a story you won’t soon forget – and you’ll want to see all the endings. She also writes articles and books, her website is here.

Now for that video adjacent writer – D.Rus writes the Play to LIve series on the Kindle. It is finished, with seven volumes. If you watch Isekai anime, you are familiar with the set-up here. However, the background story is very well thought out science fiction, going into how people end up “perma” in games and the reaction of the world’s governments. Unlike many Isekai, in this series becoming “perma” – that is stuck in a game for good, is often done very much on purpose to escape from some situation in life – like immanent death from a brain tumor. Some governments figure out this is a great way to empty the jails… This story is from a Russian point of view which adds another layer of interest. The game story is also well thought out and thoughtful – not just an overpowered hero hacking and slashing his way to fame and glory. Max (the protagonist) takes quite a different route from Necromancer, to a follower of the Fallen One (an abandoned AI that remained in the game past the developers “removal” of it) and he makes his fortune with a clever use of alchemy to invent something sadly missing in game – cigarettes! It’s fun but also very profound at times. You can find D.Russ author page on Amazon here.

Now, we can get back to fishing and petting sea monsters.

Sunny’s Six Sugoi Songs, from movies!

A sloppily wrapped package was hastily shoved in the managers mailbox. There was a lot of sand stuck to the wrapping and the faint odor fish and sandwiches clinged to the paper. Instead of a stamp it was decorated with a yellow Starfish.. that the Manager then promptly returned to sea where it was safe and sound! Inside the package was a bunch old VCR’s with sticky notes stuck to them! On the back of the envelope it read! Locked myself out of the editing room! Here is my response to your tag! Much love, Sunny!

Godzilla: Godzilla (1954)

You’ve got to know this one was coming so let’s just get it out of the way now!
All time best kaiju movie theme EVAH. Guaranteed to bring Sunny running from whatever corner of the universe I may be fishing or chasing butterflies in because… GODZILLA.
Now for the themes you are not expecting.

Sirtaki: Zorba the Greek (1964)

Best quote of the movie: “Life is trouble. Only death is not. To be alive is to undo your belt and *look* for trouble.’” I love this movie. Zorba is a MAN. Proud, full of testosterone, full of love, full of life. If you’ve never seen this classic you should. Anthony Quinn, who is actually Mexican and Russian, was the perfect actor for this role, as he lived his own life very much this way.

The Rose : The Rose (1979)

Sit down, catch your breath. Prepare to be quietly overwhelmed with emotion. Like Anthony Quinn, The Divine Miss M – Bette Midler, is a huge personality with a magnificent voice and unlimited talent. In fact, she’s so awesome, maybe another dose is what we need.

I Remember You: For The Boys (1991)

If I were a Rich Man: Fiddler on The Roof 1971

What do you give the guy who has everything? Penicillin? Well if I were a rich man…. this song pretty much covers it perfectly. Not that I work all that hard but… well…

Science Fiction/Double Feature Presentation: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

You might not know this about Sunny. He’s been to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show (the original) over 500 times. The sound of this song makes him grab for rice, a lighter, a newspaper, toast, toilet paper, and a flask and a joint or two, toss them in a bag and run for the theatre. I’m gonna give you some terrible thrills… sigh. Good times. Muwahahahahaha.

Now that’s three of us taking on this little adventure! Will Indigo and Kuro share their favourite movie themes with us well? Be sure to stick around and find out! These are the managers words by the way.. Sunny vanished again.. but some people say they saw a scruffy look boy with a face mask riding a giant fish in the sea!

Reptilicus – sort of a review

Who is that boy that is trying to clean the pool in that Periwinkle suit?! And why does he keep inviting people to pee into the pool? Sunny wondered about this and for the first time in a while he decided to stay in his hut near the resort.. to keep track of this strange guy! Sunny had spend many days on the beach fishing so it felt good to finally be back in his hut again.. there was also a tv! When he turned it on, he was fascinated by huge monsters… and he completely forgot about the weird pool boy!

A Strange Suggestion

The PLAN (is that the sound of Gods laughing) was to watch a couple of kaiju movies courtesy of TubiTV which has a plethora of them for free – let them pick me a random two movies – call it a Creature Double Feature and then review.

The first movie I chose was Reptilicus because you simply have to find and choose a movie before TubiTV starts suggesting kaiju movies at you. Searching under monster, kaiju or horror nets you zero or completely unrelated stuff. They need to work on their search function.

Anyway, I searched for and watched some old kaiju stuff a whiles back and Reptilicus was one they suggested and I thought it looked interesting.

First though, I should warn you that I’m a bit of a science nerd and that I find kaiju movies hilariously funny. So that’s where I’m coming from, most of the time. I expected Reptilicus, released in 1961, to be a prime example of horrible special effects, bad acting, worse script and beyond shaky science.

I was wrong.

Partially, at least. The special effects were really bad. I mean, REALLY bad.

The acting actually was not bad at all. Two characters really stood out to me for different reasons.

The comedic relief. Dirch Passer is hilarious as Peterson. He delicately remains on the good side of over exaggerated big dumb farmer hired to clean and look after the lab at night.

But the one who really impressed me was Poul Wildaker (the Americanized version of his name, I don’t trust myself to try and get the Dutch letters on here so I’ll stick with the way he was credited in the American version of the film). He portrays the Dutch scientist, Dr. Peter Dalby – and he forever endeared himself to me in this one scene where he stands up to the (clearly American) war mongering general sent by some International governing body who wants to bomb the creature. I mean, check this out.

screencap from TubiTV – Don’t blow him up, he’ll regenerate and we’ll have even more of them! (You idiot)

The doctor then passes out – he’s just had a heart attack and apparently is a bit delicate (!) – which is what triggers the brilliant idea to sedate the creature as the Dr. was now sedated and resting.

But really, no one EVER stands up to the American Warmonger General who wants to drop the bomb. I loved it. You tell ‘em Doctor!!!

Idiot Americans, Heroic Dutch and Destroyed Danes

Wikipedia tells me that the first version of the film was considered unshowable to American audiences. I bet. And there was some sort of lawsuit over the whole thing, no information about what that was about, but I can guess. Americans don’t like to come off as the idiots we are. We want to be the heroes, and in this kaiju movie, the Dutch are the heroes. I loved it. Anyway, there was finally a version put out that our delicate little American egos could handle.

Another thing that endeared the movie to me was watching Reptilicus stomp Copenhagen. It was just a nice change from Tokyo and New York City.

The science was shaky, of course. Reptilicus grew his whole self from a bit of tail. That sounds slightly kinky now that I read it. Some animals can do that, of course, like the Starfish the Dr. uses as examples and it is so true that Reptilicus is the most complex animal to (not) grow his entire body back. And let me tell you from experience that sedating a reptile is not easily done. They have very different metabolisms from mammals. Drugs work differently if at all. The main problem is they have not just slower metabolisms, but the ability to slow their metabolism even more if something is wrong. Actually killing a reptile with sedation is quite an undertaking with a perfectly normal snake, never mind a lizard of that size.

Reptilicus has a bit of a cult following, it turns out, as the first, last and only Danish kaiju movie, made in cooperation with American International Pictures. So if you check the Wikipedia entry you’ll find bits and bobs of this picture have popped up in all sorts of places, from Green Acres to South Park.

But who knows…maybe he’ll strike again…since the warmonger blew his foot off and then left it behind in the first round of attacks. He grew back from a bit of tail to begin with after all.

Screencap fromTubiTV – whoopsie, we missed a piece…

Sunny’s Yellow Submarine or The One That Got Away Part 2

It is time for another Sunny Story! Just a little while ago Sunny had a big adventure encountering a Kaiju on Paradise Island, but sometimes you need the proper tools! Now that Steam Punk Month has arrived Sunny and his inventive streak are bound to yield different results! Reason enough for a new and fun story set on Paradise. So fishermen and fishy friends.. let’s see how Sunny is doing!

For days now there have been mysterious clanking and clonking and sawing and buzzing and flaming noises drifting out of Sunny’s shed. No one has been invited by for an old movie watching night, or to play a new game. In fact, the boy has gotten quite secretive. Big, heavy boxes from Amazon and eBay have arrived and been spirited off into the shed to be opened. One day a big truck pulled up piled high with a wide variety of metal junk – bits, it looked like, of cars and boats, and who knows what all. They vanished into the shed, too. It must be much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside! Perhaps there is a basement.

At long last, Sunny appeared, a bit begrimed and smudged with grease, but smiling. He walked himself down to the beach for a dip – clothes and all.Once he seemed to think he was clean enough, he walked back up and into one of the beach showers where he rinsed off the salt and the last of the grime. Looking a lot more like our beloved space cadet pool boy, he walked jauntily up to the inn and called everyone outside.

“Wait ‘till you see this!” he laughed, “Hey, hold my beer.” He added, laughing even more. This did not inspire confidence in those Americans present who know that “hey, hold my beer” is usually the prelude to a redneck about to do something spectacularly stupid and dangerous.

Sunny reached into his shed and grabbed the pull handle of a little red wagon. As it emerged it’s burden became clear. Well, easier to see, but much harder to understand.

It looked rather like a fish. One of those weird deep sea fish with a lantern dangling over it’s head and a retractable lure in it’s … mouth? Huge eyes, or windows, revealed cameras mounted in the center of it’s head on a swivel so it spins from one window view to the next. On each side instead of fins retractable arms are mounted. On the left a great big claw ends one, on the right, a smaller claw ends the other. Towards the middle of the body, on each side there is a vertical screw – a sort of propeller like thing – and then towards the back on either side of what must be a rudder, but looks like a tail, there are something like jet engines.

With enthusiasm approaching shiny eyed awe Sunny explains that the little sub, dubbed the Sunfish – is actually steam powered. The little jet like engines really are steam powered uh, jet like engines. A new invention with an old time source of energy.

Steam is produced in a mini-boiler in the rear of the Sunfish, heated by a chemical reaction that also just happens to make oxygen for the sub, too.

The vertical screws force the sub down into the water – as it has a positive buoyancy profile. This means, Sunny tells the manager reassuringly, that if anything goes wrong, the Sunfish will pop to the top of the water and float rather than sink. Very safe, he says, patting Pinkie gently on her shoulder. Nothing to worry about.

He shows you all how the “jaw” drops open to deploy the lure – a short pole with something that looks like a big, fat worm – or a spanish dancer if you like. The lantern dangling over the head is exactly that, a light to make the whole thing even more alluring – and easier to see in the dark waters below the sparkling waves.

I’m sure everyone remembers the episode with the monster sea serpent? A typical deep sea fishing rig was no match for that great kaiju, but Sunny hasn’t been able to get the creature out of his mind. He would really like another good look at it. Not so much for fish fillets (he’s pretty sure they would be tough as tires), as for – you know – scientific research.

Okay, curiosity.

Sunny picks up the handle of his little red wagon and tugs it creaking and groaning under the heavy looking submarine down the beach and out the dock. Tilting it at an angle he slides the Sunfish into the sea, where, by golly, it does float! Sunny gives a merry wave and climbs in through a hatch in the top. You can clearly see him as he settles into the pilots seat between the two huge eye like windows in the front of the Sunfish. With a sudden jerk the sub put-put-putts out into the bay where it proceeds to screw itself down in the water.

You can see the top of the lantern mounting bobbing in and out of the waves as Sunny pilots the little sub around the inner bay just below the water. He pops up again, waves to let you know he’s just fine, and burbles back down.

This time, he sends the Sunfish off the ledge and over the vast depths that surround the island a few thousand feet offshore of it’s beautiful sparkly pink beaches. The blond tanned pool boy is ecstatic with his new toy and can’t stop grinning as he watches delightful little fish of every color, but especially pink, darting past the big windows of the Sunfish. He turns on the camera, so he can share the amazing scenery with everyone up above. He thought about looking for a camera that would share in real time, but that would mean he had to drag a cable around, and he likes the idea of the Sunfish being free to move up or down or wherever he wants to go without a tether to the upper world.

Of course, there are pink squid, and octopi, and something that looks a lot like a Horsea, and is that a Mantine? Hoping he doesn’t run into a Gyarados – but a Relicanth would be cool – Sunny pilots the Sunfish down, down, down past the pink rocks and pink coral and pink starfish, and pink and black clownfish in their pink anemones. Down into the dark.

At last the Sunfish finds the soft, sandy bottom and Sunny is happy to see that it’s PINK sand down here, too. He makes sure the camera pans around so Pinkie can see that the island really is pink right from its roots to the flowery tree tops. He wishes he could turn the engines completely off and be quiet, but then the Sunfish would float to the top. Still, he tries to just stay in one place and look all around. His little lantern glows pale yellow in the dark.

Sunny pulls the lever that will open the jaws and deploy the lure. It waves gently in the wind like a banner – here, here I am…

It’s so quiet now. There’s no fish in sight and no coral or rocks to look at. Slowly, his eyes drift shut and Sunny dozes.

A nudge wakes him up. It might have been a gentle nudge – if you were a great big sea serpent type kaiju – but it gives the Sunfish quite a bump. Sunny’s eyes fly open. Because, you know, he wasn’t sleeping. He finds himself nearly eyeball to eyeball with a pair of glowing yellow eyes. Another bump. A jerk.

The kaiju has grabbed the lure.

Sunny bangs the button to fire the jet engines and yanks the lever that twirls them around so they are thrusting in reverse.

Of course, he’s gotten a bit fond of the old kaiju thing, and has only put a humane hook on the end of the lure.

Which is to say, the kaiju is not really hooked at all, but feels a bit of a tug on it’s lower lip just the same. It gives the Sunfish a head butt, which stuns both the kaiju and Sunny and causes the Sunfish to jerk back and start floating towards the top in a sort of less than controlled manner. Shaking his head the kaiju tosses the Sunfish from side to side, and Sunny inside bounces around like he was in a pool boy float in Kuro’s drink blender, binging and banging and bonging against the sides and windows and steam boiler inside.

The next thing he sees is nothing but teeth, tongue, and blue-red gums as the kaiju tries to get a bigger bite of the Sunfish, not once, but three times. Sunny grabs the throttle and blasts the steam jets in reverse. The kaiju doesn’t like the burst of warm air past his face and lets go and the Sunfish darts like it’s namesake towards the surface. The kaiju in hot pursuit.

Sunny gets the Sunfish whirled around, changes the thrust to all speed forward and takes off for the surface in the direction he thinks is towards the little bay. The kaiju probably doesn’t like the shallows and won’t follow. Right?

There’s no speedometer on the Sunfish, but however fast it is going, the kaiju can clearly go faster. It swims around the Sunfish, bumping and nuzzling the sides while Sunny clings to his seat and tries to remember what made this sound like a good idea?

Suddenly the Sunfish breaks the surface, popping out of the water like a cork and starts to steam towards the beach, the kaiju swimming easily alongside (The Sunfish is even slower on the surface) keeping one eye on Sunny. It appears the monster has finally made the connection between the pool boy in bright yellow with a little bitty fishing rod, and the submariner in bright yellow bopping around inside the funny metal fish.

The kaiju nudges the sub a few times. He seems to be wondering if maybe it ATE Sunny, and the little fellow may need rescuing. Sunny gets another good view of the inside of a sea serpent as the kaiju gives a few more experimental nibbles. For a beast with needle shaped teeth easily a foot long, it seems almost…gentle.

Sunny slows the Sunfish to a stop and the kaiju stops beside him. It nudges the little sub again, rocking it gently. Sunny laughs. The kaiju nudges. Sunny laughs. The kaiju nudges and opens it’s mouth, making a sort of dolphin like chuckling noise and bobbing it’s head. Sunny waves. The kaiju bobs.

Sunny thinks about it. He opens up the Sunfish’s “jaw” again and puts out the lure. The kaiju inspects it and looks back in at Sunny.

To the horror of the guests waiting anxiously on the dock, Sunny pops the hatch and sticks his head, arms and shoulders out of the hatch. He’s holding a grilled cheese sandwich in one hand. The kaiju raises it’s head to be level with Sunny.

Sunny waves the sandwich a couple of times, like you would do to get a dogs attention. And tosses it towards the kaiju. Who opens his mouth and neatly catches it in midair. There follows a few minutes while the kaiju apparently moves the sandwich around it’s mouth, munching and tasting. Then a swallow.

Blinking, the kaiju cocks his head as if thinking. Then he swims around the Sunfish and, I almost hesitate to tell you this but, he sticks the tip of his tail out of the water and…well..WAGS it.

Sunny laughs. Waves. Ducks back into the sub, and appears – with another sandwich. He tosses this one, too. The sea serpent catches this one, then dives below showing off every inch of it’s 30 feet or more of scaly loops humping over the water before reappearing on the other side of the Sunfish. It makes several quick circles around the little sub, tossing spray, nodding it’s head and making that chuckling noise. Sunny shows empty hands and shrugs. He’s out of sandwiches. He wasn’t planning to be gone down there a week, you know. The serpent lowers his head to half in and half out of the water. And sighs.

Sunny holds up one finger. “Wait!” he says. Diving back into the Sunfish he put-put-putts right up the beach, hops out, runs to his shed, and runs back with an armload of baloney, sliced cheese, and lettuce.

Last anyone saw, Sunny was standing on the beach tossing various foodstuffs to his new best friend, who gulps down cheese and lettuce and baloney but spit the leftover BBQ fried chicken back. The cook has barred the kitchen door.

Dungeon Mayhem: A review

Sometimes we need to take a break from all the spooky stuff going on and just have fun with cardboard! The Cabana boy was like always doing his own thing. Strolling around the beaches of Paradise looking for lost treasures! He got really excited with something he discovered. So Sunny has lured you good Paradise guests to a table at poolside with good humor, drinks courtesy of Kuro, and a deck of cards. Not a regular deck, but Dungeon Mayhem.

More Street Fighter Than DnD

Although it says Dungeons and Dragons right on the box, the actual game is more like Street Fighter. As a DM I usually take great care to be sure my players don’t get into altercations with each other, but in Dungeon Mayhem there is no dungeon and one big brawl. You might even imagine it as sort of a bar fight!

The game requires 2 to 4 players over the age of 8. You have a choice of playing Sutha the Skullcrusher (Barbarian), Azzan the Mystic (wizard), Lia the Radiant (paladin), or Oriax the Clever (rogue). Each character has their own small deck of cards with spells, attacks, defenses, and special powers specific to each class. The game is quickly set up and also quick to play – well under 30 minutes and often quite a bit shorter than that. The object is to be the last player alive.

“He just found out he could steal cards out of my deck – typical rogue”

The art on the cards and the captions for the special powers and so on are clearly created for gamers with a bit of tongue in cheek and a sense of humor about it all. Kyle Ferrin has done a great job on the illustrations. I mean, you only have to glance at the card Vampiric Touch and you know what it does.

This game is simple, quick, easy to learn, and under $20 USD in price. It’s great if you’ve only got a few minutes to kill, or you’re taking a break to stretch and get a snack and people are up and down from the table for a few minutes. It could even be a filler if someone is late for the regular game night, or absent. Or you know, if there’s just some guests of Pinkie’s Paradise hanging around the pool with nothing much else to do but watch anime on their phones or play mobile games.

The One That Got Away

Hello everybody! The Manager here! Today we welcome Sunny our “Cabana” Boy to the STAFF that have published a post on Paradise! He had written a very cute and charming intro.. but then he spilled his little yellow bucket and all the words washed away! As Sunny got distracted by the flowing ink and followed as it flowed around the manager wrote a new intro! Today Sunny writes about…. Sunny! His tales as a fisherman! Check it out and don’t forget to leave a like! Likes are great bait you know?!

Sunny lay stretched out on his belly in the pale pink sand. The waves lapped gently at the beach to his right, and a rod with a gigantic reel was propped in the sand. A line stretched from the long, whippy willow pole far out into the sea where a bright yellow bobber floated, unwatched.

A tiny yellow crab held Sunny’s attention as it scuttled hither and yon on the pink sand, making a lovely picture as it sifted through the grains seeking the small bits of food. The sun beat warmly down on Sunny’s back, making him a bit drowsy. His eyelids fluttered down and soon no one was awake on the beach but the crabs.

Further out in the calm sea, a seagull hovered over the bright yellow bobber, wondering if it was worth hanging around to see what Sunny caught. He often shared his catch with the gulls, or sometimes he had delicious human snacks he would tear into small pieces and toss into the air for the delight of watching the acrobatic gulls swoop and catch them on the wing.

Suddenly the bobber wobbled. Then again. It shook and bounced up and down in the water a few times, and then vanished beneath the turquoise sea.

Sunny was alerted by the whining buzz of his reel as the line went screaming off of it at great speed. He jumped up out of the sand, startling the little crabs who ran in every direction. Grabbing his rod and reel he gave it a jerk, although it was clear the hook was firmly seated in something. Whatever it was, it gave an almighty jerk back that nearly yanked Sunny right off his bare feet into the ocean.

With all his strength, Sunny caught his balance and tucked the rod into the wide thick belt he wore for this very purpose. He began to play the sea creature, reeling back line as it went slack and bracing himself when it ran again. It quickly became clear that this was no cute little baby perch he had on the line, but something enormous.

Beautiful green and grey and brown lemon sharks often cruised in the shallows around the dock and the edges of the island, but this was much too large to be one of those fairly harmless and quite pretty fish. Sunny realized now that he must have had a little nap in the sand, and the line had drifted out far out into the sea, beyond the shallows and past the shelf that dropped down and down and down to unfathomable depths away from the feet of Pinkie’s Paradise Island.

Deep, deep in the turquoise sea, what could it be? There were some giant groupers, and even some huge old moray eels that lived far below the island in caves and grottos among the coral. Fat and old from eating well on the bright fish who lived on the reef. That must be it, Sunny thought as he worked and worked and wrestled and strove with the great heavy and strong sea creature. Yes, it was probably one of those groupers. And what good eating it would make! Why, some of them got up to 600 pounds. He could make a lot of fish fillets out of that and have a big fish fry for all the island resort guests tonight!

The sun sank towards the sea and still the battle raged on. Sunny ached in every inch of his body and more than once had thought of cutting the line and letting the vast creature go, but now his curiosity had gotten the better of him. The big fish was not jumping out of the water at all, but now and then he caught a swirl of a mighty tall sail like fin that was bigger than anything he had seen on the biggest grouper he had ever brought in.

If he ever got this creature landed, how on earth would he bring it up the beach?

Just as the sun touched the sea and sent one last golden beam streaking across the wet horizon, the water began to boil and roll and in every way signal that something big was coming up. Sunny was busy reeling in the slack, feeling this would be his one and only chance to conquer the sea creature that he was now dying of curiosity to see. What could it possibly be that was so big and so strong and so determined to fight for half a day or more!

With a final roar the water broke and the sea sephents head rose, and rose, and rose into the darkening sky! Sunny had hooked a true monster from the depths. Easily thirty feet of the beast was out of the water, and far more clearly trailed behind. Fins shaped almost like legs, like those of a coelacanth dangled and flailed wildly, throwing fish scented waters through the air that hit Sunny like the rain of a hurricane. The creature let out a bellow similar to the bark of a catfish but with the volume of a foghorn. The water foamed with his thrashing tail, as long again as his entire body.

Glowing golden eyes the size of semi-truck hubcaps swiveled and fixed on Sunny. The great fish drew back on himself in an S like a striking snake and for one stunned, horrified moment all Sunny could see was a great cave-like mouth lined with dagger teeth. A pointed tongue curled and Sunny glimpsed the twinkle of his tiny little hook embedded in it’s center.

He threw the rod and reel down, turned, and ran.

Knowing, like I’m sure you do, that Sunny has beautiful dragonfly wings, you are wondering why he didn’t fly. Well, the truth is, he runs much faster than he can fly.

Sunny ran as far and as fast as his feet would carry him. All thoughts of how tired and how sore and how terribly lazy he normally is completely left his body on a wave of adrenaline and pure terror. He blazed up the beach, into the jungle, past the resort where he could see the guests lined up agog at the beast in the water. The people on the third floor balcony could look eye to eye with the thing!

Maybe Sunny was running so fast you couldn’t see him. Maybe everyone was a bit more busy wondering if the creature could make landfall. Whatever, no one seemed to be aware as he flashed past tables and through the doors and then up and up and up the mountains behind the resort until he reached a secret little trail he thought only he knew that led to a cave in a clearing.

When he reached the cave he finally managed to stop his flying feet. He fell bonelessly to the earth and concentrated on getting oxygen into his struggling lungs. And then the beast roared again.

Quickly, he jumped to his feet and staggered a moment before he made it to a tall tree. Now he flew. He flew and flew up to the very top of the tallest tree and then he could look down and see the creature, still in the shallows, weaving side to side like a cobra and clearly using those glowing eyes to look for his tormentor. That wide mouth opened again and suddenly a rainbow of round rubber balls shot out and across the waters and the beach.

There were yellow balls. And red balls. And blue balls. And green balls. And purple balls. And of course, pink balls. Some balls were even clear, like bubbles, and they floated up into the air as if they were weightless. Balls from the size of softballs to soccer balls to beach balls bounced and rolled across the beach and floated on the surface of the sea, carooming off the top of the waves caused by the monsters flipping tail.

The monster reared back as if to spit more bouncy balls but instead he shook his head, and opened and closed that great maw of a mouth over and over, making quite horrible sounds until with a very distinct “PTOOEY” Sunny saw the twinkle of his fish hook as it caught the light of the moon and flew out of the monster’s tongue and down to the pink sands.

Grumbling in its throat, the monster took one last gasp, one last long evil eye cast towards the beach, before it turned and swam away.

Sunny heard the laughter of relief and chatter coming from the guests still standing on the balconies and around the pool in the resort. There was a bit of a rush towards the bar, so Kuro had to stop standing stock still in shock and get busy mixing cocktails in pitchers. Then guests began to tiptoe down to the beach, first in ones and twos, and then in small groups and picking up those bright rubber balls that were shining in the moonlight.

As if by magic and mutual agreement, suddenly everyone was playing on the beach with the sea monster’s balls. There were people playing catch, or dodgeball or something like volleyball without a net.

The manager of the resort, Pinkie, walked down the beach to where Sunny’s rod and reel lay abandoned in the sand. She picked them up and looked around. Sunny gulped. He had a feeling she was not going to be very happy with him.

He pulled some young limber tree branches towards himself and wove a little sleeping platform high in the top of the tree. Relaxing, he watched the guests playing in the moonlight with all the pretty balls. Maybe in the morning he would fly back down to the resort and set about his chores as if nothing had ever happened. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Pinkie couldn’t really stay mad at him, right?