Five Game Characters I’d Invite to New Years Eve

We are rounding it out, finishing the story of the biggest cross media New Years Eve party I’ve ever hosted. We’ve got a bit of everything , Including Pokémon, Bloggers Anime Characters and now we are up to video game characters. Like every other guestlist I have made, the five guests have to contribute something to the party. Not only because I am mean and lazy, I mean I am lazy but not THAT mean. It’s because I want to set an example that if we can all work together we can throw the most epic party on the fictional  planet where my fictional tropical resort is on. So let’s not waste any time and see which video game characters I’d invite.

Game Guest  1: Donkey Kong : The Bouncer

While everyone is welcome, you still got to have a bouncer, because you still have to have good intentions. When you come to paradise to troll, laugh at the weebs.. or in case you get to drunk and cause trouble you gotta go! Since I would lose a fistfight to a juice box, I really can’t manage this myself. My Pokémon have other things to do.. and one is an evil killer creature, the bloggers I doubt will do much good and I have only two anime characters that could fight..but they have other functions.  I don’t want some gun wielding nutjob like Max Payne or Master Chief to handle my security. I hold a strict no guns policy, unless the guns shoot bubbles. I could have invited Genzo Shibata from Kemono Michi in yesterday’s post but I am afraid of what he will do to my pokémon. I don’t want him to lewd Raticate or Jigglypuff and I don’t want to get suplexed for asking him to deal with someone dressed as a cat girl or something. So I had to make a carefully selected pick. So I of course ended up picking a gorilla what hides in barrels and has a no tolerance policy on piracy. The Kong formerly known as Donkey Jr… Donkey Kong. 

(Such a good bouncer, he even has a suit)

He’s finally here, bouncing for you, if you misbehave you’ll get bounced out too! If you make me cry he will give a slap! As we take you through this Monkey RAP! Huh! DK Donkey Kong! DK Donkey Kong is here! This ape has been a beloved video game hero ever since he tried to rescue his father in Donkey Kong Jr. In Donkey Kong Country he finally took the name of his father who moved on to become Cranky Kong. Thus this Kong never kidnapped Pauline, and thusly has a clean record. Important for a bouncer to have a good record. Punch Out for Wii shown he can fist fight, we see him able to grapple things, he shoots coconuts, which I do not count as a gun but as a gag weapon. He is musical so he can help the band of Jigglypuff and he is very good and hauling barrels. Which means that besides a bouncer I also got someone who can fetch the kegs of beer and barrels of wine. He is indigenous to the tropics so PETA will not bother me either with their silly little nags when it comes down animals in geekdom. And best of all I think Donkey Kong could give some of the best hugs..or crush my spine when doing it after which he would throw fecies at my corpse… he still is a gorilla after all.

(Donkey Kong says he would never do that stuff I said last)

Game Guest 2: Tommy Vercetti : The Designated Driver

While on paradise anyone can have a beach bungalow for the night free of charge, I get that a few people will have to leave early. New years day they visit their family and all of that stuff so I will take care of transportation from and to the island for you.  While Donkey Kong has shown he is capable of driving in the mario kart games I did not think it was a great idea to let an ape pilot a plane or an aquatic vehicle. I mean his cousin Diddy can do that but I am still hoping that Diddy Kong Racing will return one day so I will not be stealing the hatted simian’s time. Big brain tactics going on over here. So rather than give this job to some cutesy little animal I gave the function to Vice City’s greatest narcissist criminal, Tommy Vercetti. I mean the guy has experience with playing taxi for people so he should be perfectly be able to do it. He comes already dressed for a tropical paradise either and he is a master of any vehicle, without gathering skill points or licenses for it. Whether you come by car, boat , plane or even tank Tommy can take care of it. He even might bring a little pick me up for those who are into such things. I am not personally, those things would kill my weak heart and such, but I also do not take a very negative stance against it. To each their own poison and all. So you do you and if Tommy can’t make a sale on the island, we can do a hidden package run all together the next day that sounds like a hoot and a half.

(That suit isn’t that well tailoured I think, I’ll get him a pink suit)

Tommy is used to deal with difficult people, long before he kills them all he helps them with some trivial task like getting them home after a party or the likes, so as long as you are not a big criminal kingpin…or a sex worker…. you will most likely be completely safe when using Tommy as your designated drivers. Just when you review him.. don’t give him five stars.. the military will show up and the party will be a mess. Never give a GTA character 5 stars, it’s a death sentence to them.  Tommy however will take care of you in retro style. The tunes he plays on his radio on the way back keep that party Buzz Buzz going for just a bit longer. How I am sure that he won’t drink an drive? Well Tommy usually only gets wasted when the cops show up or a rival gang tries to take him out, and there are no police or evil gangs on my island. So weirdly Tommy would not get wasted. Tommy can also blend in at the resort very well. He can play a mean round of golf, though Pinkie’s Paradise only has a putt putt course.  He likes investing money into booming business so we might even get an investor of this blog, and even if he is a money hungry criminal.. he isn’t as  money hungry as our next guest.

(Tommy isn’t much of a dancer, so he will stand out from the crowd when you want to go home)

Game Guest  3: Tom Nook:  The financer

Parties like these cost money and that is a resource I do not have. Nearly every wealthy character in gaming is an insane evil soulless  bastard. Handsome Jack will not treat my guests very well nor would Albert Wesker. Ken Masters would probably steal Dark Magician girl from me so he is out as well..he’s kind of a douche anyway.  So let’s look at the more child friendly consoles and series of games. Lara Croft simply wouldn’t be into parties plus I would not know which one of the renitions I would have to invite. Mario should have a lot of coin but whenever he gets hundred bucks he just gains more life essence.. so I doubt he will have over 100 dollars on his account. Which brings me to the most greedy bastard of all. Tom Nook! While he would finance such a triviality as a party without us paying him massive interest this time we will flip the tables around. Amongst all of us we will have laboured many hours for mister Nook, it is time he did something for us in return. If he wants us to buy stuff from him in that new game coming early next year than he better show he is as committed to us as we are to him. You gotta spend a few bells to make more bells. I bet making a raccoon give me money is something PETA will disagree with me on, so I guess I will give Tom Nook a chance to earn some money while financing my party. 

(At least Tom Nook is pleased by my style if he likes Kyary he will like me as well)

So as I told you everyone has a bungalow in Paradise. I guess Tom Nook can sell you all customisations sets for your bungalow should you desire to customise it. Your bungalows will be expandable and if you want to rent a hammock to lie on the beach at New Years Day.. you better bring some cash to pay Tom Nook. He will also rent out the putt putt golf course, for of course a nominal fee, boats, fishing rods and one of those speedboat banana things… new year’s day beach events will all be hosted by Tom. I will be in bed with a hangover anyway so I am honestly not all that bothered.  My bungalow is pink already so I doubt there is aa customisation set I want from and….. OH MY GOD UNICORN WALLPAPER….
Luckily I am immune to Tom Nook’s *cough* charm,  because even after this party is over I still won’t have any money. As soon as I have some though I will spend it on the new Animal Crossing Game of course.

(Sigh.. I should have expected as much)

Game Guest 4: King Knight: The Tabletop Guy 

I love myself a good competition on New Years Eve but Smash would exclude my friend Jilly, the only person in the world who doesn’t like Super Smash Bros so I’d feel said for her to host a big competition like that.  Gaming against each other can also get very insociable , but there is one type of gaming that never does. Tabletop gaming is always neat and cosey. Whether you play a card game, a storytelling game or a co-op adventure you always talk. To save some room at the party, the big board games like Dead of Winter or Fury of Dracula will not be played. To much stuff going on and when drinks spill people will cry. So we opted for a card battling game. Squall is way to emo and a buzzkill to be fun at a party so out with him and Triple Triad. Yugi and Kaiba cheat in their own game, plus the banlist changes about every hour so duel monsters is not viable as well, besides from that I don’t want anyone summoning something that can destroy my Dark Magician girl of my anime character post. Magic doesn’t really have great video game avatars plus it can be a tad elitist and that is not allowed at my party. Gwent is only played by people who love to rip other people to shreds.. so there is only one option left. We shall play Joustus! Since I don’t want to see a big apple fish dancing all the time we also only have one option on who to invite. King Knight.

(If he spins like that on the dancefloor I bet he will make a girl very happy.. and sick)

King Knight is the protagonist in the newest Shovel Knight expansion and it is great. The man has such great flavoring in all of his powers as well as his persona and sense of humor. This make King Knight a perfect party guest. Sure he will think he is superior but the guy is hurting inside and just needs a good cry. Fred might be able to help him, if you read my Bloggers invited post you’ll get that. He is not a great fighter and not that insanely evil… he is just a boy who believes he is a king that’s kinda cute. I am really good at Joustus as well so I could make some serious money at the tables. Maybe even enough to buy that unicorn wallpaper from Tom Nook…dag nabbit!. Joustus is a grid based card games where arrows can indicate movement, you use this to slide pieces around to claim as many “winning” tiles as you possibly can before the board is filled up. However some cards can block being pushed and have special effects and more of that jazz… it actually kinda feels like jousting with all that pushing. King Knight  is forced into the tutorial so he can explain you the finer details, but be warned he cheats. Luckily I don’t have blue fish guys in chests where he buys his cheats from.

(It’s time to J-J-J-J-J-Joustus)

Game Guest  5: Ratchet and Clank :  The Tech Guys

Yes yes I know that’s two characters but they just might as well be one plus it’s my blog so I rule that it counts. With a gaming court, a movie theatre  a fully equipped cocktail bar, a karaoke stage, and a band podium among other facilities there, is a lot of technology to handle. I know nothing of stage lighting and when I blow a fuse in my house I need assistance to realise what happened. So we need tech guys and who is better than Ratchett and Clank. No one really. Though I did consider that grandma from Watch Dogs 3 as well. Ratchett and Clank I’d say would be a lot quicker to respond can have access to difficult to reach spaces and when the party is over they most likely would happily take most of the scrap metal and stuff that is in my way to build weapons from as long as they dont build weapons on the island.  Both are huggable in their own way though I do prefer clank. His solo game I found to be rather enjoyable and I do not like Rachet’s character as much as I do like Clank. Still enough for a good hug though. So yay for cuddly tech support.

(I have no funny comment for this picture so you make one)

What puts Ratchet and Clank a nodge above the other candidates for tech support is their immense creativity. You see Mario is a plumber that can probably fix some leakage or pipes going to the Koopa Kingdom but only if he has the right parts. Being from Brooklyn (yes I am using that one)  he will never have the part that I need and has to wait for the store to open again on January second.I can’t use that sort of behaviour. Ratchet and Clank get the job done .. parts or no parts. If my band’s pyrotechnics do not work THEY will make some for me, if MasterMixMovies projector goes down, they will build me a new one or fix the old one. I can not think of any character that is as flexible as them except for maybe Macgyver but he got badly remade. We can somewhat say the same about this duo, being that their last games haven’t been THAT good, but hey that just means I can employ them cheaper, so Tom Nook is also happy because he is paying their bills.

(It’s fixing time!)

And with this we are all done with the party guest , which means it’s actually time to PARTAY! So everyone who joined me in this adventure, thank you so much for sticking trough untill the end and Happy New Year. Twenty Twenty will be our double digits of hapiness and love! Stay awesome, stay pink, untill we read again, Pinkie is blasting off again! Greetings from Pinkie’s Paradise and Happy Happy New Year.. may the force be with you.

The other Chapters in the New Years Party Arc
-A Pokémon Team For New Years Eve
-Five Bloggers I’d Invite to New Years Eve
-Five Anime Guest I’d Invite to New Years Eve
-Five Movie Characters I’d invite to New Years Eve

Adorable Games: I love you Colonel Sanders

Christmas is finally over again, thank Arceus, why do we dutchie need to have an official second christmas day as well? We do not have boxing day, our boxing day happens at around the 6th of january. This christmas I mostly spend by myself playing games and I finally got around to playing THAT game. Fried Chicken resembles turkey well enough, which is a christmas tradition, so let’s play this finger licking good dating simulator and let’s see if the colonel can warm my heart.

An Adorable Advertisment

As far as advertisement games go, usually they are not very good. Sneak-King was quite a horrible game from the age of the Xbox and of course Mc Kids was a sub-par platformer from the NES days. Though  the latter has a fanbase of people who are “loving it’. We also had the soccer beat ‘em up game “The Mission” in which a couple of dutch soccer players had to beat cyborg ninja using their football skills. Save to say, this wasn’t a game for me.  By far the weirdest advertisement game that came out was a game named Darkened Skye, this game was a high fantasy adventure action platformer similar to stuff like Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy or Drakan, Order of the flame. There were even some zelda esque elements in there. Just more broken. You play a woman with a bo staff named Skye, who is on the search to find her mother.To do this she must unlock magic deep inside her.. which she does ….with the power of skittles. By tasting the rainbow Skye can set different skittles in her amulet, to enable her to cast various spells and so she fights evil to fight her mother.. with a just a handful of the fruit flavoured candy.  Since I love you Colonel Sanders seems to be made to be weird it had some big shoes to fill.

Luckily a game where we have to win Colonel Sanders his love, competing with a Jojo Character, a crazy women, robots, evil spork monsters and ghosts might just be crazy enough to convince me that this is indeed the weirdest add game I have ever played. Yet this game has something none of the others above had. A sense of consistency, of understanding it’s target audience and just having fun with it. This game knows it’s an add and the entire story revolves around the creation of KFC”s new menu item Mac and Cheese… and chicken. Of course you do this while making sure the Colonel will declare his undying love for you. While most other games DO also understand they are an add, they rarely understand the genre of game they are and just pick something popular to appeal to a crowd. While extremely meme’’ ish this game to an extend gets the genre of dating simulators and spoofs it in a non obnoxious and kind of adorable way. As far as adds go, this is a nice one. Even though I dislike KFC , I would kinda like to try the dish I helped create. 

Finger Linking Good Design

The best part of this game by far is it’s design. The characters are all amazing, they feel like anime viable characters, albeit a bit exaggerated Aeshleigh or Ashley for example is the . typical manipulative, himedere elitist with enough western  school-girl superficiality to be despised by anyone. This game is set on a cooking school and your main rival is someone who thinks food is made to be seen rather than be tasted. I would slap her for this if I could, but since I recently broke my other laptop already I opted out of it. Yet still nicely done. I did not like her, which was the games aim. You also have a male delinquent rival Van Van the man man, which wears a pompadour and strikes dramatic poses. He keeps serving edgy kind of food to make it as manly and butch as possible. His design is a clear reference to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures and the way he emotes, as well as how others show their emotions make this feel legitimately anime. Your best friend Miriam has that clumsy best friend anime vibe and her love interests Pop and Clank are quirky and fun. They are way below her standards but luckily the game handles this point fairly well. While the game can get critique that it doesn’t take the genre seriously and mocks it , that is kind of the point.

KFC knew no one really would be interested in playing a full length dating sim to date him. Or at least not enough people would do so, this game is still a clever advertisement so It needs to be seen by people. By taking the spoof route they can keep it short, free and a casual fun experience for everyone and as an anime fan you can see there is definitely some knowledge of the genre involved in making this , just giving you some extra nods and jokes. Sneak-King was super tedious to play or complete, Mc Kids took itself to serious and felt like a cheap knock off, I won’t even talk about The Mission and Darkened Skye took itself way to serious again and thus they missed the point of what they were. Despite its flaws I love you Colonel Sanders caters very well to what it is. So from a design perspective I do admire this game. 

Too Many Spices

While this game heavily promotes substance over style in it’s own story when we get to the gameplay unfortunately we see the game is more style than substance.  While the characters are cleverly written, solidly designed and we play with some tropes of both anime as well as the dating sim genre your actual part in this is… not as clever.  While the Colonel does give some input whether he likes your choice or not, there are no recovery options if you misclick, since you most likely will only play this once that is not that much of a cardinal sin but if you like me try to get the perfect ending as well it can be a hassle. Especially since a few choices are locked behind a timer and others are locked behind “you will just have to wait and see’  and require you to finish the entire game to see if you made the right choice. While the game is not that long, this can still feel a bit tedious as I have no idea what I did wrong. I got a good ending twice, but still the Colonel did not want to partner with me. The only way to fix this is replaying and altering slightly between each run, with minimal differences. I will not do that, I just looked up the best ending and am done with this now.  The differences are to minimal during the rest of the game to truly notice so it’s not that rewarding to replay this game. There is plenty of nice meta jokes in there, but if you see your character use their special move once it’s great, the second time it’s not fun anymore.

There is also the matter of to many plot points that go nowhere. For example you can get knocked out on several occasions that seem to give you visions of something important, yet this never goes anywhere because it is only used for a joke. You can discover several  of the 11 spices in KFC chicken (though all are named “blank”) yet while this seems like a goal, it doesn’t go anywhere either. Except for one ingredient having an effect..somewhat. As a result your character gets a few angles they can chase yet the only thing you really should go for is Sanders love.  As a result it feels a bit one dimensional, like cooking in a kitchen that has a complete spice rack filled with cool flavors and fresh herbs  to add to this good looking dish, yet for some reason you can only add some salt and a bit of pepper. It works but just feels empty. It’s like adding the Bow to a Zelda game, saying Link can get it if he does a side quest. If he does.. he does get the bow.. but there aren’t any arrows to use.. nor any puzzles where the bow is needed.Why put elements in you do not end up using. It only creates false expectations.When you base your views of someone on false expectations it’s hard to fall in love with them.

Junk Food

There is  plenty to like in this game, the jokes they make I found truly funny and there definitely is some knowledge about the genre and it’s tropes which make this feel like an actual  game. Sure it spoofs the genre and tends to trivialise it but it’s not a full game it’s a free to play advertisement. Where normal dating sims give some nice artwork of you holding hands or kissing your lover, this game shows you artwork of KFC dishes. It’s clever and funny way to show this is an add, while keeping it fresh. At the same time once the final dish has been revealed there isn’t much reward for the player in scoring the perfect ending. There is still screen no congratulations. No you just end on a regular dialogue box followed by the end and a reboot to the menu.

So in a way this game is exactly like the junk food it promotes. Whilst you are playing it you are sure to enjoy yourself but finishing it can leave you hungry still, yet you don’t really feel like having seconds because everything you can choose here kinda tastes the same. So in a way it feels like the perfect allegory for KFC.While I doubt they made the game this META on purpose, this game is perfect for the franchise it represents…well it’s free and KFC isn’t normally as cheap so nearly perfect. As a game it is just okay but in this case it’s more than a game. It’s a meme, it’s a novelty , an oddity and one hell of an add and since it doesn’t cost you anything except maybe at most two hours of your time it still is something I’d definitely recommend. 

The Problem with Modern Gaming: Gamers

I love playing video games. As I always was a physically frail kid and my disorder further reduced the joy of “being outside” gaming allowed me to explore wonderful worlds, without the risk of being harmed, being unable to walk or be confronted with my frailty and bad muscles. (My motor skills are mostly impaired in the “crude” motor skills section not the “fine” one.. though still a bit) Yet at the beginning of the 2010’s gaming became less and less appealing for me. The march of DLC , the bigger focus on competition and the rise of the free to play games made the world of gaming less magical to me. Since the 2010’s are almost over it is time to look for the biggest problem to gaming in this day and age. It’s not corporate greed though like most would claim, the biggest problem right now is us…………….

We have the Power

Gaming has changed a lot over the past couple of decades. We used to have only pong consoles, while there were other and earlier games.. realistically the only game you could play was pong. In this day and age there are more games than you can count, and even your average steam library is already bigger than most 80’s or 90 console games catalogues. Yet we are very different gamers now as we were back then. We live in the age of mass reviews. An age where a game is only as good as it’s Metacritic score and of the “hivemind”. Somehow if PewdiePie dislikes a game .. or name your youtube icon of choice,  we have to follow or idols opinion. If the game grumps do not want to pay for vanity items in a game, apparently neither do we. As a result the gamer community has become one huge hivemind of elitism. When Nintendo launches a game we do not like, we burn it to the ground on all forms of social media. We form subreddits to trash the game, we start to slander Nintendo for not understanding their fans and tell people NOT to buy anything from Nintendo anymore.

Back in the 90’s when a game wasn’t your thing.. you would just not buy it. It was a shame that this thing wasn’t for you but you’d just wait until the next one. In this day and age, whenever a big company releases a game that isn’t for’s practically a crime that makes us all start a big witch hunt. In a way the large companies aren’t in charge of their IP”s anymore.. we are. We determine if a character looks good, we determine the content we want to see in a game and we determine which game we do or do not want a sequel too. We have the power, which seems neat and could be neat..but we are legion , while we can use this power to make a game we all like, it also bars us from ever getting a game we can truly love. 

We DO have phones!

While I am not a huge Blizzard fan, their games feel too smooth to me, thus always making me feel like I control a character perfectly, rather than be the character , they are one of the biggest example of our chokehold on gaming. We do not like Diablo Infinite.. because we want Diablo 4, we do not lot like Overwatch 2 , because we just want that in Overwatch , we do not like them banning a player so we all unsubscribe from their games. We police everyone and anything right now, if a company CEO is having an affair.. boycott their games, if they release a side project we do not like..boycott the company. Let me say this, WE do not own the IP’s of Blizzard,  nor is it up to us to police the world. We destroy so much with our moral compass. ProJared , one of my most well liked youtubers for example, had his career destroyed over mostly rumors. Sure he still does some questionable stuff by doing the things that he does, but I am not a victim of it, he is open about it. showed evidence and if he cheats or not on his wife isn’t my concern at all. I love his content, just like I love certain games. If the developer or youtuber is an asshole in real life, that doesn’t make their work less impressive. I am sure Rembrandt was a dick as well and Leonardo Da Vinci, might have slept around as well, you don’t see the museums covering up their works. Developers, youtubers or anything related to the industry, for them gaming is a job. Their lives beyond have nothing to do with us, any social justice hashtag or ill behaviour report or corporate decision should not be a death sentence, it should empower the wronged party. allow them to get their word out so that the proper people can deal with it. Not so that unrelated people can join the hate hivemind.

(I bet gamer-borgs, will fly in a Borg- GameCube)

We can not just project our morality on everything nor our values. Many of think mobile games suck, sure I do get that, I am not a big mobile gamer either. Yet when developers like Blizzard get in the market.. or Nintendo we should cheer that one not discourage it. Maybe it is them that takes mobile gaming into the new age. Maybe we can finally get mobile games we enjoy. Back in the 80’s and 90’s we never knew what we were going to get in terms of games. Genres were invented, genius happened, lighting struck! Now whenever a big company tries something new we rattle the cages and say… we do not want “new idea or spinoff we want our sequel on our favorite system, if you don’t give it ..we refuse to look at that other thing’ If we were this snooty and stuck up in the past we might not have ever gotten Mario on gameboy or Mario Kart.  No Donkey Kong Country, we would not have had the MMO genre because people then were sort of unwilling to pay for subscriptions. Yet instead of burning down the company we gave it a chance and it all turned out to be fantastic. While I do not claim Blizzard or Nintendo will strike gold with mobile games I do think we should allow them to try. After all we DO have phones. We could at least wait to burn the game down after we tried it, like we used to.

(I never really liked F-Zero for SNES)

Not everything is for you! Be positive!

Times change , games change and gamers change. Yet not everything has to change at the same rate. Companies need more money to make new stuff or gain support, DLC and Microtransactions are a part of the times. If I need to pay for an extra chapter to gain a new game in the future, so be it. I do not want to pay to beat a game, but extra characters, extra quests or whatever, fine, thats the standard of the time. But not everything has to start at the same time. Just because Fighters already had DLC for ages doesnt mean Mario can’t start on his next game. Just because the Zelda franchise has “innovated” so much with Breath of the Wild doesn’t mean Pokémon HAS to have the same technological leaps. Gaming is not about the graphics, persé, it’s not about the voice acting or technical aspects of it. It’s about the feeling those elements give you. Those technical things might be important for you, that doesn’t mean it is important to everyone. While some prefer professional voice actors, others really like imagining characters voices. Maybe the voice acting was cut, because the game is popular in so many translations that they wanted to keep the quality consistent among all of them, maybe they saved that money and put it towards something else like better servers or to make more budget for another game they are working on. As a gamer you’re entitled to your opinion on a game, you really are, but when that opinion is negative that doesn’t mean we should punish the developers for trying something else.. or for catering to their core audience either for that matter. We now are putting so much pressure onto developers that everything is losing its shine.

We are choking out the voice of the developers and replacing it by the voice of the hivemind. Every game has to be for everyone. It all has to be a sandbox with seamless open worlds, you have to have something to craft, realistic weather, full voice acting, two seasons of DLC, preferably free,  at least and over X many hours on gameplay. Sure I like most of those things as well (except craft) but I do not want every game to feel like that. Horizon Zero Dawn is an open world game that felt very similar to breath of the wild to me. Watch Dogs 3 , has to have skills and possibly wallrunning or melee weapons and begins to feel more like Assassins Creed and  that one now allows you to craft your own weapons , if you find the parts and is becoming more like Horizon Zero Dawn. Nowadays we keep asking for games that play like “something else” and we can get pretty specific in that. If the developer does not abide we destroy them on the internet. It’s like .. when an organisation hosts a convention. Most of them have like at least a somewhat ulterior motive, either to network, to promote their company aside from the foundation or whatever. We should be glad we have it regardless. Because it’s our hobby and our passion to visit these cons.  Yet instead we scrutinise the organisation and tell everyone to dress as harley quinn and joker. Sure everyone abides and we get a decent con experience with lots of cosplayers. Yet in the end we can’t really tell who we talked to nor does anything leave a lasting impression.

(Random Harley Quinns..our games are one of these now)

Games are like that, while our meddling can make them solid enough, we are with to many to ever be creative. We can destroy the superman 64’s  of the world, we can boycott the sonic 06’s but at the cost of having our minds blown. At best we might get exactly what we want, but by being so distrusting and guiding we also prevent our minds to ever be blown in surprise again. That is a price I am not willing to pay, I rather see some stinkers and allow companies to slip up once in a while so I can be surprised at the next one. Take Bethesda for instance, Fallout 76 was a stinker, but we were so vile about it that now we  force to play it safe for the next game. We have our pitchforks ready if they don’t. You don’t expect your grocery store to always have the best sales for you, you don’t expect all HBO series to be like Game of Thrones… so why does a game company always have to do right by you?  When something is not for you.. just grumble in silence or write a blog how you dislike the game…don’t start a flame war. IP’s belong to the developers NOT to the community. Bring back the trust in those who bestow us with games again, instead of policing them into standardisation. Let’s make 2020’s the years of faith, of positivity and of games with unique voices. Our voice is great..but it doesnt need to be everywhere.

Adorable Games: A Hat in Time

Hey Island-guests welcome back to paradise. By now you will have noticed I am really into cute stuff. I prefer cuter anime, I am a plushie savant, I really like pink stuff and cute little critters and so on. So unsurprisingly I like cute games as well.  Gears for Breakfast produced an adorable little platformer called A Hat in Time and it quickly grew out to be one of my favorite games. Two DLC packs in and a launch on Nintendo Switch in later, I want to share the love on this island.

As mad as a hatter

The plot of this collect-a-thon platformer is simple but wonderfully weird. You take control of a brave space traveller, by the name of Hat Kid. A young girl who lives all alone in her vast spaceship which is fueled by time energy. One day she is close to home when suddenly in mid space there is a knock on her window as the mafia shows up. Something goes wrong in this encounter and her time vault breaks open causing the timepieces, to scatter on the planet the mafia guy was from. Hat Kid goes to the planet to recover her missing timepieces.

She finds a friend in a mustachioed vigilante named Mustache Girl who decided to help her. But after realising what the time pieces can do she quickly turns on Hat Kid and decides to use the time pieces to destroy all that is evil … in an evil way.  So now the race is on, to acquire enough time pieces to get Hat Kid home at least and stop Mustache Girl from her genocidal vigilantism. During your journey you have to collect enough yarn to create a series of hats that will grant you new abilities, while making movies, selling your soul and dealing with the Mafia. A simple premiss that is given shape by some wonderfully weird and flavorful characters.  The writing is so funny and all the characters come alive. Even the scrubby mafia’s which are basically your equivalent to goomba’s in this game get a voice and some personality. Near the end basically everything does. A Hat in Time creates such a wonderful wacky and colourful world you keep wanting more. Each character crazier than the last but also unique and the proceedings in each stage nice come together, for a neat and somewhat touching conclusion.  It is not a story that is meant to wow you, but you will constantly go .. .. awww thats so cute or charming. It also never seizes to surprise. The moment you find Hat Kids hidden pillow-ford and read her diary it only keeps getting better.

Hold on to your hat

This all is presented in lovely gameplay that is best represented in the silver age of 3d collect-a-thon  platformers. The age of the Nintendo Gamecube like Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy , Whiplash or Mario Sunshine. Hat Kids natural moveset is fairly similar to that of the plumber but without that weird all water jug that he since.. only takes out for smash. Like most non “icons”  of platforming Hat Kid has a double jump, which the big names never actually used but similar to Mario Hat Kid has a dive, can walk tightropes and she has a wall jump/ Hat Kid unlike Mario can do a little free running dashing up a bit as she wall jumps though, a nifty little trick that even puts Rayman’s ledge-grab to shame. Like Sonic n his 3d adventures she has a homing attack as well that can also help her get around.  It is a very dynamic moveset that allows for pinpoint accuracy and uses the best of all the greats, while still feeling as her own. That sense of uniqueness mostly comes from the usage of the hats. Hat Kid gets access to six hats that allow her to do all sorts of neat stuff.

Her basic hat is he iconic top hat, which allows he to focus on mission objectives. The sprint hat gives you a speed boost and later on can even give you access to an adorable mount. The Witch Hat/Concoction had allows you to blow up certain objects. Her snow-cap allows her to use special transportation pads to launch the girl around the various stages. The Dweller had can materialise ghostly platforms or dematerialise “dreamlike”  blocks. Her ultimate hat is the Time Hat which can pause time for a short amount of time. This kid isn’t just about hats though she can also customise these hats by equipping badges which apply several modifiers to the game. Like a featherfall, the ability to not bounce of walls in a dive or even a big beam attack when hitting with her Umbrella. She is one fashionable kid that knows how to get around. This all controls near flawlessly with you always feeling that any mistakes make are your own fault and not a poor control scheme. While the camera can give you some trouble at times, this very sparingly happened though and I could even see Gears from Breakfast doing this on purpose to get that nostalgic feeling. There would be times where the camera jittered where t made me more nostalgic than annoyed. The graphics are colorful and vibrant and the music, dear god how I love this music. I actually own the soundtrack to this game.. and this is the only piece of music I actually own because I am not to big on music. I adore this soundtrack and each stage has amazing musical framing and the boss themes are even better. By far my favorite Indie-game on the technical side.

Throwing your hat in the ring.

The base gameplay is way harder to explain than one might think. In essence we are dealing with a standard platformer but each stage is completely unique and every objective within that stage can play out completely different.  The base game has four stages and forty time pieces, the two dlc’s add two new stages, 13 time pieces and a whole lot of other content, and then there are fan-mod levels which are highlighted as a genuine aspect of the game including achievements. There is a challenge mode as well as both online as offline co-op. Regardless of what you play your objective is always the same. Get the time piece, how you achieve this can differ greatly. From a simple platformer challenge to a murder mystery and from an mission where you have to assassinate an outhouse to stealthily infiltrating a movie studio. A Hat in time takes you on a unique adventure that you will want to complete from beginning to end. Even within each stage you goals are vastly different. In Maffia town I hunted golden tickets in a treasure hunt, I played the floor is lava (literally)  and had a footrace ,against a guy on a rocket. In Subcon forest, I assassinated that outhouse and played hide and seek to save my life, from a super yandere. In Dead Bird Studio’s I defused a bomb and did a PR tour.. and then so much more. Every objective feels carefully crafted, like a miniature game of their own. Filled with great voice acting, funny jokes and tooth achingly sweet moments. All ending in one of the most satisfying and heartwarming conclusions I ever saw in a platform game, that sort of breaks the fourth wall.. yet also makes perfect sense is this vibrant world.

The two DLC stages are completely unique as well and both I can wholeheartedly recommend.  The game has a solid lifespan for a platformer, depending on your skill the base game will last you between 10 and 15 hours, which is solid for a 3d platformer in it’s price range. The DLC and mostly the co-op and challenge mode adds many more hours and now that fan levels are a thing there is a healthy amount of gameplay time…at least for the completionist and trust me this is a game you want to complete.

Tipping my hat

Aside from the 50+ time pieces there is plenty to collect. First there are the buttons I mentioned earlier you can get from a strange glitchy vendor, whom you pay with pons, the currency of this game which you also collect and use throughout various stages. Then there are the hat flairs, color schemes and soundtracks. You an get these from completing so called time rifts, pure platforming focussed stages, that seem very similar to the FLUDDless stages of Mario Sunshine. The hat flairs can reshape your hats, and these can be very cute..if you get lucky. These are locked behind a RNG slot machine… which is a shame, luckily fan stages offer you a coin and gathering 3 allows you to use a slot machine to get more. Base game will disallow you to get everything but as the game is now, the joy of collecting just is greater. Downside to the RNG however still is, that you might have completed the entire game before getting that color scheme or flair you really wanted to use.

The DLC added some stickers to collect to decorate you umbrella with to make your character look more unique and accomplished in online or offline co-op games , fun but a bit more hollow than all the other collectables. My favorite collectable however are the artefacts. Each stage has a cute little artefact to complete, once completed you unlock a puple timerift, which allows you to find a children’s picture book telling the story of that stage.. or another cute story. These artefacts are in hidden packages scattered throughout the worlds.  Completing them and assembling them on you spaceship allows you to read Hat Kids thoughts about them, surprise surprise, they are adorable Same for the story books! Keep your eyes open when playing this game and dont be afraid to explore, the game rewards you thoroughly.

Hats off to Hat in Time.

By now I think I made it clear that this game has won me over completely, move aside Mario, Hat Kid is here. Gears fom Breakfast has made this game that oozes love and cuteness. It’s clever, clean, cute, funny, invententive and more. If you like Banjo Kazooie, if you like Mario Sunshine or whatever 3d platformer is you thing, this game is one you should not miss. This game is probably my favorite PC game ever and most certainly my favorite Indie-game. While it does have it’s quirks and could technically improve some minor things these are all nitpicks that hardly blemish a game that shines brightly from beginning to end. Hat Kid deserves it to be one of the great platforming heroes of her generation and she definitely deserves a sequel. A sequel that I am sure that will come, I will eat my hat otherwise. Luckily this hat has a delicious flavor.

My first day in Galar

Hello Island-guests. Today it is time for a new blog, and of course we will be talking about Pokémon. A diary of my characters journeys across Galar. This will mean some spoilers for the Sword and Shield games, although most of what is revealed in this first installment will be part of the common knowledge.It should come to no one’s surprise that I am really enjoying this game. The issues people have with these game either come from rushing or holding expectations based on different IP’s from different developers and I think both are unfair. Sure these games are not technical master pieces, but no pokemon game ever was. Sure the story mode CAN be resolved kind of quick, but that’s not even the point of playing a pokemon game. Yes not everything is in the game , some pokemon and some moves did not make it. People say that gotta catch em all is no longer applicable.. but it NEVER was , those others you just transfer from other games, this changes nothing of Galar’s collections aspect, we can start over again at an equal playing field. It only changes what pokemon we can use in competitive, and most of those who complain aren’t even in that scene. So quit nagging people and enjoy a really solid game the way it’s meant to be played. Slowly.

Pinkie’s journey begins

Dear Diary, today my pokemon journey began, it all started out like a normal day and I was watching Chairman Rose introduce us to the wonderful world of pokemon, he showed the cutest elephant pokemon and I want it!  Can you believe that in other regions the professors do this speech. The old hag Magnolia barely gave me any time of day! Her assistant is kinda cute though. I was watching someone challenge our champion Leon, who kinda has a weird sense of fashion. I wouldn’t call it bad.. but it kinda is. Like a cape and a weird hat and I could swear he is wearing pants under his shorts. I mean we girls wear leggings and it kinda looks like those, but why would a manly man like Leon wear them and why add a pattern to those leggings … I mean ewwwww.  He just doesn’t really look nice face down… he can pose though but hey I can pose too!

Anyway Hop came in.. I think he has ADD and went hyperactive that we had to go to his house to meet his brother. He ran ahead.. I swear he is like a combination of that Barry guy from the Sinnoh region that was like a rival to the hero of space and time and Hau .. the freeloading Malasada guzzling lovable goof who was like best friends with the first Champion of Alola. He kinda looks like a combination of those two too.
Gaaargh…..Leon wasn’t at his house and we had to go all the way to the next town to pick him up from the station and then run back. I do NOT like using my running shoes. In the end it was great though Leon gave us some starters so we could participate in the Gym challenges. Since Hop already had a Wooloo I could choose first I chose Sobble , because it cried when a berry fell in it’s pond. I decided to name it Neno. Hop picked a Scorbunny  and when we had to battle he already used two pokemon! Kinda unfair if you ask me…but his Wooloo went down so easily that my Sobble leveled up and allowed me to hit Scorbunny super effectively. Yay!

A mysterious encounter

After that a wooloo entered the forbidden forest and we had to go in and save it. Of course Hop  just ran ahead so I had to deal with a bunch of Skwovet, Squirrels with a weird name and tendency to eat my berries. I also encountered a bird named Rookidee, it looked angry so I had Neno knock them all out for me. Then I encountered a wolf in the mist. I thought it ate Wooloo and that it would kill me as I could not hit it at all.  It was very strong and super mysterious. So everything went white . Leon came and saved us as Hop did nothing but comment. Leon never saw what we saw and he told us to get our pokedex from Professor Magnolia.. and Hop ran off. I had to go the long way around and captured a few pokemon. Cool huh! I feel like I am the only person ever in existance in this world who can capture pokemon before getting this weird expositional talk while clearly everyone in this world knows how pokeballs work. I managed to catch a woolooi I named BeepBeep, one of those squirrels I named Nutella and even some others.  I only planned on using BeepBeep though, and I would take this little fox pokemon along. I decided to name it Barrelroll. I mostly like BeepBeep though.

So I tried to train up BeepBeep and I noticed how in the Galar region pokemon grow very differently from that in other regions, it turns out they have an item called EXP share, our pokemon do that naturally. But where the the item distrubutes a small portion of EXP our party gets like half the xp they would have gotten had they actively been in that battle. If they are in that battle they get full experience. This means we can easily bring full teams along from the earliest parts of the game and check out all sorts of cute evolutions.  The final Pokemon I caught in route one was called a Blipbug I named Freddt. I went home to kiss Mum, yes we call her Mum here in Galar and we also watch the Telly and not TV, and went to the old bags lab with Freddt in tow. Turns out she wasn’t even there! I had to move ANOTHER route. Like these shoes were not made for walking! So of course I had to shop first.

Shopping and Hopping

So I decided to go and shop and I picked some super cute pink clothes rather than the grey and green Mum picked for me.. I mean my name is pinkie after all , you gotta live up to the reputation. Shopping in Galar is quite expensive though so perhaps I should fight some trainers with Neno , Beepbeep and Freddt . So that’s what I did. While fighting other trainers I also managed to catch a snapping turtle which I send to my box early, and a cute dog named Yamper. Which I added to my squad under his new name of Buttermutt. It’s funny because it has a heart shaped bright yellow butt. It’s moves are super nice to capture new pokemon as well so as some plumber from some country just south of the Kalos Region just said “let’s go” .. ……. back to the shop to get my pink shoes and pink hat as well. All pinked up I was ready to move to Professors place. Doing some more battles along the way. I noticed how I enjoyed the music and the rich saturated colours in the landscape. Sure I have seen like cards from like the Hyrule region that looks a bit more beautiful, but I think we should be glad with the beautiful landscapes we have gotten. Compared to like Unova or Sinnoh this place is absolutely stunning and our pokemon also feel somewhat less stiff than those of Alolan ones.

Professor Magnolia gave me an app… for my phone… jeez… thanks I guess..  no way I could download a pokedex in the appstore myself in a world where everyone has pokemon?!  Yet something good came from the visit anyway. I got to battle Hop again, if we proved our worth as trainers to Leon he might endorse us to take part in the pokémon league competition. Like that’s kinda cool right?  How the strong look for young talent to find someone who will eventually surpass them and push their skill with pokemon to the next level. Like a metaphor how the pocket monsters we know and love can grow into Kaiju, so  can our trainers from young ones grow up to be a poorly dressed champion. Or like how the pokemon franchise started out as simply professor Oak’s research with him believing there were only 150 pokemon to knowing there is almost 1000 now. From being just his research to being like puns on teacups and with tv shows and movies. But I am getting off topic again. I could battle Hop again, I could see how much he train…..he ran over here again and barely bothered to train didn’t he….  yep… BeepBeep trashed his sheep, Neno washed his bunny and Freddt evolved into a Dottler. It’s like a bug night light with LEDS. Two meteors struck like a meter from our battle field revealing stones about the size of a wristwatch. I think the impact should have killed us all, but hey we didn’t so good for me.  So we spend the night at the old woman’s place and Sonia showed up and told us more about HER research or her work for the professor at least. She told us about dynamaxing and how the phenomena is only possible in the Galar region and more stuff. The professor just made Leon gave us our endorsements so now we had to go to Motostoke. Luckily we could go by train.  It will save me a big walk! Yay!

So far along I really enjoy this new pokémon adventure, the galarian pokemon are cute and overall well designed by Arceus, I visited some cute towns got some cute clothes and heard some cute music… though I am not sure if  that plays in my head or is actually there. No other trainer ever mentions it .. but it always changes when I battle. I really like the tracks so far. I like the new experience system because it makes pokemon battling available to so many of us and the story I embark on seem to have just a bit more invested in making me seem special and relevant, making it more credible that I am heading into some great adventures.  Of course the pretending to be me already made it a lot further into the game and but she decided that this was enough content for one day. So apparently soon the next part will follow where I explore the wild area and face the first three gyms. In that part we will discuss the quality of puzzles , and the wild area feature among other things so stay tuned for that… Wait why did i write this weird stuff in my diary?

Top 5: NES Tunes

Welcome back my dear island guests. Today I am exploring Movie Park Germany in the real world looking for some of the remaining halloween spooks. The visit is a surprise gift for my birthday next week though so I had little time to make a sunday blog. That was when I figured….my paradise could use some music.  What better way to start then the console I grew up with. The NES. Everything is allowed Main theme, stage themes and boss themes. I will however only use only one entry per franchise and only use their original version. So unfortunately no Excitebike remix from Mario Kart 8..but that is an honourable mention. Additionally , this is not the list of most catchy themes since that would result in just naming the classic main themes.  It’s a list of memorable and engaging songs of my first owned console.

Tune Number 5:
Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest – Bloody Tears

What a terrible night to have a curse , these words linger through everyone’s  head who played this game. Incredibly cryptic and even broken in terms of ending and Dialogue , Castlevania II : Simon’s Quest is a game of debatable quality.  However those who who love or hate this game alike all are in agreement. Bloody Tears is a brilliant song. While many consider Vampire Killer to be the superior track, I would have to give the title to the doozy in this sequel. There is more build up to it more, more structure. The track feels more leveled and captures the gothic feeling of the series just a bit better.  While Vampire Killer stands for Simon Belmont, Bloody Tears to me stands for Dracula. Since, Castlevania is more about Dracula then it is about Simon to me I always found this one to be the more fitting one to represent the amazing franchise.

Tune Number 4 :
Silver Surfer – Stage 2

Now this is a weird one, the game itself is not a very good game, the angry video game nerd even deemed it a bad game. However I would not go that far… as long as you have a turbo controller.  The game is insanely hard even ridiculously, I managed to finish about three stages but I was never able to finish the entire game because the trick is to finish this game on a single life.. to keep your shooty  upgrades. Dying once.. and dying means hitting a single thing, means losing it all which makes somse stages virtually impossible. Meanwhile everything wants to kill you.. Touhou before Touhou. However what was excellent about this game was it’s sound design.  The soundtrack of the entire game was worth a listen but this one has that particular earworm vibe. Check out the game if you like a challenge and check the soundtrack if you are into 8-bit master pieces.
The box-art was pretty amazing too!

Tune Number 3:
Super Mario 2 – Overworld

While I vastly preferred the original Super  Mario over the second one gameplay wise that overworld theme of the second game is just soooo good. It’s quirk and fun and it has this level of ‘swing’  where you can tap your foot on the beat when your playing or swing your hand while snapping your finger when you are just listening. It might lack the iconic  level of the first one, but this one sweeps me away and I often linger in the first stage just to catch some more of tune. The way the sounds interacted with the theme, from when your climbing on a vine to opening up a door, it all seemed to harmonise together so greatly. A symphony of gameplay and soundtrack. Now I have to admit that I might favor the rendition of Doki Doki Panic (the game Super Mario 2 is a reskin for the western world off)  a bit better. It feels more tranquil less hard, due to the lack of one additional sound channel the NES had compared to the famicom. Adding in the sound of my jumps and climbing though the victory still goes to the NES. Even the way the stage progresses to the boss theme, where we fight the first Transgender character in video gaming ever… in the form of Birdo seems well done. This song blends with everything.

Tune Number 2:
Mega Man 2 – Dr Wily Stage 1/2

Albert Wily is a briljant but dangerous man and the antagonist of Mega Man since the earliest consoles. In the second adventure the first two stages of his castle got a simply briljant theme. I listen to this soooo much  be it in a remix or just the classic. Mega Man 2 was one of the first games I played and got good at. Being a bit of lonely kid as I walked funny and did things weirdly I spend a lot of time with my games and Mega Man was one of my top three games. I honed my craft and one by one.. over the terms months if not even years I got closer each time to defeat more Robot Masters. The first time I reached Wily’s castle I went a little queasy at how awesome this music was. I was overwhelmed and it made me feel really badass for reaching it. The music in itself was a reward and it highlighted perfectly how far your journey had gone.. how good you must have gotten to make it this far, how badass Megaman was by now. Even to this day I feel there is this “anime’ quality to it, I could easily see it being used as an opening for some kind of cyber-punky shounen show. It feels like more than just an 8 bit track. It has some amazing remixes out there as well so be sure to check those out! They are definitely worth your time. The box-art of the megaman games is notoriously bad though.

Tune Number 1:
Ducktales – The Moon

In 2017 the new ducktales animated show began to air, in which Huey Dewey and Louie move in with their uncle Scrooge. At the end of season 1 I cried.. like a baby.  We simply got a pan-shot to the moon that played a remix of this song after which a big reveal was made. The tune made it’s return in the second season.. and I cried even harder. It was beautiful.
A few years earlier, a remake of Ducktales the NES game came out on steam, I bought it and when I reached the moon stage..I cried, I had to pause my game to cry away my joy. The Ducktales game was based on the Disney afternoon show in my youth, my favorite tv show and favorite video game .. quite possibly ever even inching ahead of Pokémon.  Ducktales made me a gamer, Ducktales made me feel good about myself for the first time.

Even if it was just a video game, there were obstacles I could overcome. The theme from the moon is universally beloved and just so incredibly good that I could never forget it.  If I had to tell you how nostalgia would sound I would hum this tune. While I claim Pink Fluffy Unicorns is my anthem and signifies my mindset , The Moon represents my journey through life. Or me as a gamer. This to me is not just the best NES track ever, it’s one of the if not THE best  (game) songs ever. Whenever I feel sad about my life, I listen to this song and I am that little girl again who can enjoy herself with a cookie and this gem of a game. One day I hope to get a copy of the game again. Just as a keepsake. I would build a little display for it like the moon, and see if I got some techno friends that make the display play the moon theme. That’s how good this one is.

Mario Kart Tour

Welcome dear guests. For those who follow me on Twitter, I haven’t been exactly keeping it a secret that I really enjoy my time with Mario Kart Tour. Reactions from across the web however have been less than stellar. Since I write about everything geeky now, let’s take a closer look at whats up.


Mario Kart Tour like most mobile in this day and age is a Gacha game, meaning we can spend premium currency to get characters, karts and gliders. This premium currency can be earned but also purchased and characters karts and gliders come in three rarity grades. (Silver, gold and sparkly Pink)  So far it’s like every Gacha game ever, but pinker, not doing anything special. However Mario Kart Tour also has a subscription plan, allowing you for more and better ‘quest ‘ rewards. For the nominal fee of about €5+change a month you can gain extra gems ,extra stars and even get offered some free high(er) tier karts or characters if you perform well enough. I signed up for this deal because of the amount of time I already spend with the game , completely justifying it for me. I’ll recognise the game without the description would be a bit barebones but I will not mark it down for it. Over time we have developed the idea that games SHOULD be free to play and even free to finish but I very much disagree. If someone makes something I enjoy I want to reward them for it.. and Mario Kart Tour is no exception. What I get for those 5 and a bit euro’s  is well worth it. 

People tend to demonise these practices, calling everything a company does greedy, but in reality, servers have to run and they have to keep a constant staff on these sort of games so it’s also understandable.  The Internet also say Nintendo is greedy for not throwing buckets of free gems their way as any new game “SHOULD” but again this is a skewed perception. Companies hand out free gems to promote their games, to get you to play them,it makes sense they try that with freebies, realistically speaking this is Mario Kart.. an established name, by an established company, they do not buy your love. They kinda already have it, and there is nothing to criminal in them knowing it already. I’ll admit it isn’t ‘nice’ of them.. but it doesn’t make them greedy either. They know the value of their IP and simply aren’t your pal, they aren’t demons for not being your friend though. That is basically how I feel on the entire Gatcha aspect of it.

High Score-Kart

Mario Kart Tour is different then it’s older brothers.  Every two weeks, we as the player get a New Tour, which rotates us through a dozen or so cups of three races and a special challenge. It is up to you , not only to win the races but also to set a high score. Scores will unlock Power Stars, and gathering enough Power Stars will open gift boxes and new cups.  Each stage has a number of favoured racers karts and gliders that allow you to get more items, combo time or flat-out more points. The higher the quality of the items the better the chance of you getting good items or ‘Frenzy’. Each track two to four racers get three items per item box, get 3 of a kind and you can use that item infinitely for a brief period of time, really sending your high scores through the roof. The internet rightfully so, complains about how races oftenly are more about having the right character but once more this is used to make Nintendo seem greedy and evil, but does it really? Having played through the first two tours I would have to say no.  My subscription allowed me to gain enough rewards to completely max out every single cup , only missing out on some of the final gift boxes, which I basically just do not want to grind out but could trough daily challenges. While I can’t always max out a cup or race from the very start, as the weeks progress I gain the resources to do so in a leisurely pace. I might have had incredible luck, but in fact I missed out on almost every single one of the most rare units, except for New York Mario. Except for the time trials everything feels very forgiving and over the course of the weeks you get better and better and update. I found it really enjoyable to tweak my high scores, especially of the ranked cups and it was a blast. Each item I managed to buy that helps me felt like sweet rewards and kept me playing. It feels deliciously retro to go for that sweet sweet high score again. 

Part-Time Kart

Something that gets the most flack on the internet is Nintendo’s choice to limit the resources you can gether per day. You can only grind out 300 coins per day and the experience to level up your characters karts and gliders is also capped. This does not include any rewards from ‘quests’  or from spending premium currency to do a coin event. I can only say that I might be the only person in the world that LOVES this choice Nintendo made. Leveling up drivers makes them worth more points, coins can give you new drivers, karts and gliders. By keeping a cap on these, the playing field in the competitive cup is equalised. We don’t need to spend energy and race to our hearts content.. but we are blocked from infinitely grinding. I can work on my highscores as much as I want but no one is allowed to spend every waking hour to grind out every character to destroy my high scores, we are all subjected to the same amount of luck. It allows me to pick up my phone when I want. Dailies are REALLY easy and as each tour unlocks more and more over the course of two weeks never do you HAVE to play more than like half an hour , maybe an hour if you  have trouble. I love how you can compete casually. THIS is what I want in a mobile game!

Slippery Kart

The technical aspects I left to the end, It’s mario kart, you know it’s not going to be bad. Very befitting of  a highscore game, Mario Kart Tour is easy to learn difficult to master. The game offers a wide variation of control methods and safety nets so that everyone can play to their hearts contents.  You can use gyro-controls or not, you can simply steer the kart by swiping your finger or turn on manual drift which makes it so that you can fully control how much drifting you get done. Steering aid will prevent you from moving into sandpits but make it a lot harder to sacrifice speed for that hidden shortcut, it is up to you to figure out what works best for you. I must admit I wished I grasped the concept on how to manual drift better.. but hey I haven’t needed it until the Paris tour , now I end up slipping everywhere.. because I can’t grasp the concept just yet. Youtube might provide  an answer for me in the near future though. I always have other options though. The manual drift could have been handled better but otherwise I do think it’s Mario Kart trough and trough. However I do have my gripes with the game as well. Each tour has about 8 or 10 stages, we alternate between given that we visit about 40 or so stages that means a lot of repeats. Cleverly hazards have been altered and sometimes the track is mirrored, but not all tracks are long enough for it to be noticable and can feel kinda stale on their third and fourth roulation. Some elements can feel tacked on in the final quarter of the cups. Characters no longer have their own drive feeling, everyone’s  the same, Bowser handles exactly like Toad. they just affect your score. Luckily they sometimes can have semi-unique weapons available to them and unluckily they shout out their catchphrases aplenty. All in all I wish there was a bit more ‘soul’ and control, but technically I can’t expect much more than I got for this type of game.

Flavour Kart

While all the negatives that are said about this game are true, that doesn’t apply to the conclusion people make about this game. Yes there are plenty of grinding caps, yes you are restricted by luck and yes Nintendo is very stingy with free stuff.  The luck requirement is basically prevalent in the entire Gatcha genre. Don’t compare it to the console or mobile Mario Kart titles, that would be unfair. You pay to play those, it’s just not the same thing. Compare it to Dragonball Z Dokkan Battle or Fate Grand Order and you’ll get a much more fair comparison. Gameplay in a Gatcha is a secondary element. Mario Kart was never a hardcore game, casuals being much more a demographic and Nintendo acknowledges that with these caps. While it might not be fun .. if you want to grind out everything in a single day the strategy makes it excellent to just pick up AND put down.  For the price of a regular Mario Kart game I can play this one for at least 10 month’s with new tours arrivery every two weeks and unlocking most of what the game can offer me and that is perfectly fine.
It’s not the best Mario Kart game, nor is it the best mobile game I ever played but it is a perfectly playable game that people just love to turn into something evil. It’s not guys .. it’s really not. It’s quite OKiwi.

Welcome to Paradise

Welcome my sweet little geeks! A few days ago I had a bit of a breakdown. Bad luck had gotten me down. Following Pokémon spoilers I did not want to follow to get something to write about felt wrong as well. I want to have my happy place where I can freely ramble about whatever is on my mind, on whatever geeky topic I want. My paradise! Since I like some community feeling at the very least, you are welcome to join me here. Don’t mind the webadress, it will change once I buy a new domain.

Such a lovely place

As you can see my resort is still amazingly pink, a happy little place with a nice pink sunset, lovely beach and those weird Tiki things are a lot less annoying than the ones in Crash Bandicoot. The blog will be a safe space, a haven, a resort.  I want to be able to be me, but I realised it needed to be the complete me. Every geeky little bit of it. So this is why I chose the theme of paradise, in the non intrusive non cloudlike matter.. because that version..well it might not be for everyone. Who doesn’t like a tropical island resort?! So that is what we will stick with. Does this means I have completely changed? No! There will always be the pinkness and even pokémon will still be a big part of this blog. Just not every day, that was just to much Pokémon.The poké-poop got everywhere and trust me it’s nothing like Digimon Poop. I love the franchise very much , more than anything even but I also wanted to get excited about others things. We still have the poképool , but paradise also has a movie theatre, a bar where we can discuss things we have experienced and much more. Paradise also has a lot more rooms for all sorts of geeky people to stay! Fun for everyone and even more fun for me!

The Cocktail Menu

So what do we offer in my tropical resort? Well we have a much wider variety of content cocktails which you can come in a bunch if different flavors as well. Reviews, rambles,  rants and much more. They are all served under the geeky umbrella with a funny straw and some refreshing voice ice cubes. For now I serve five different flavors. Let me talk a bit about them.

The Movieto

I am  quite fond of movies, I love going to the cinema and finding obscure movies to watch. I am mostly a horror-buff but I do enjoy a good animated or superhero movie as well. As long as it doesn’t feature dubbed over real animals or Eddie Murphy, I am good. (Can you guess what my least favorite movie in the world is?) From time to time I will serve you this content which can be recognised by the featured image, that shows a movie reel and a duck! Why a duck? I love ducks! Mostly horror ducks, I even like talking once.. when they are not voiced by Eddie Murphy.. did he ever voice a duck?!  He shouldn’t! The Movieto will mostly contain reviews,but sometimes I might talk about a cinematic trend or universe as well. Expect some rage as well because I can be quite picky when it comes to movies. I do not believe we should forgive .. because ‘It’s a movie’ or ‘It’s the Disney Mindset’ or the worst one ‘Little children don’t know any better’ No I demand my entertainment to be at least somewhat thought out! Most of the time!

The Game-Tonic

Pokémon I mostly love for the games, but wouldn’t you know it that I play other games as wel! ‘NANI’ Yes other games! Nothing fancy or so, but it’s something! So I do like to talk about these kinds of things as well. Mostly reviews again, but also more reflective pieces about what I think is wrong with our current game culture and some news I like can be found inside these cocktails. I am not much of a modern gamer though so I will mostly be viewing the classics, remake or original, I love the classic games right up until the gamecube age. After that, well the Wii wasn’t a very nice console if you have difficulty console to have if your motorically challenged so I went with an X-box 360.. it had the same colour! While I own about 70 games on xbox 360, none of them had THAT magic. So yeah expect a lot of retro-fashioned gaming stuff. Yay! It will be delightful! I got so many plans for this already. You can recognise this cocktail by the controller logo and the Owlbear! Why the Owlbear? Because it’s an owlbear!

The Poké Colada

Not everything has to change, so a large chunk of this blog still will be dedicated to my beloved subject of pokémon. Expect the usual suspects in terms of content as well. Trainer profiles, Top 5’s , pokemon reviews, and even my OWLS post this month will be about Pokémon.. to an extend. Everything you used to get from me will be there but of course for the next good while we will put a big focus on Pokémon Sword and Shield. Discussing my journey through the game, reviewing the anime, discussing some of the awesome new pokémon I find and me fawning over Galarian Ponyta. Like I mentioned earlier I decided not to get into the leaks to let some sense of wonder still exists which fills me with joy and it seems more me. Which made me feel like I made the right choice not to JUST blog about pokémon. As much as I had to tell about them, looking into every little bit of news.. just made me lose the childlike sense of awe when I figured new things out at my own pace. I am very much looking forward to this cocktail myself. Woop woop!  You can recognise this cocktail by the highlighted image with pokéball and chibi Sylveon! It’s still my favorite pokémon..but now has a competitor. Expect a cage match for my love, somewhere in the new game’s release. 

The Anime Spritz

By now those who know their liquor must realise that these images of drinks have nothing to do with what’s in the glass, for one .. none of these cocktails are originally pink secondly they are all in the wrong glass with the wrong garnish…hey I do not drink that much! I just like fruity colourful drinks and it’s a paradise theme. Besides a game, a movie buff and poké-freak I am also a bit of a Weeaboo, I like other anime as well. I like a lot of cutesy stuff but mostly into the weird and over the top thingies. I’ve outgrown basic Shounen a bit , even though I still enjoy viewing some good old Dragon Ball or even My Hero Academia. While I love cutesy stuff one of the animes I’ve never been able to stomach is Lucky Star, it is potentially one of my most hated series.. I just can’t get into it no matter how hard I try. I tend to dislike a lot of the more popular things, while recognising their quality, Code Geass for example I also very much dislike even if I liked Euphemia , I never felt these character were ‘human’ or something. So the reviews I will put out might be significantly different from what you see around  I bet I will not just talk be doing reviews though, I will also analyse characters, maybe put them in a pokémon match against each other to see who will win. You can take a girl out of the pokéball but you can’t take the pokéball out of this girl..that would be offensive.I needed a logo to represent anime..which was a lot harder than the other four.. so I chose the icon most anime fans will tie in with anime itself.. the crunchyroll symbol.. then I made it pink because everything is better in pink. There is a unicorn in there as well because they make everything more magical!  Hopefully my content as well.

The Martin-ME

The fifth and final sort of content will be my most personal content, stuff that really is about me.  This can be very broad and is basically a cheap trick to talk about anything I want when I want. My favorite board game .. says something about me.. so I can place it hear. If I want to talk about cards against humanity instead , I will just review it under the guise of a very fun play session I experienced. From my dreams to my past , from my greatest moments to my biggest fails it all will be discussed under the banner of this cocktail. It’s geeky lifestyle mixed with otherwise uncategorizable brainfarts. So when this cocktail shows up you are always in for a surprise. I can not promise you a Martin-Me every week because this cocktail is best written when inspired and I can never tell when that sentiment hits. Feel free to ask me personal questions in the comments if you want this subject to pop up more! Then I will answer those for you in a new post! Yay! Arrangements!.  The logo is a cute twin tailed geeky girl and our little pet companion is a d20, for those who do not know what a d20 is.. it’s a 20 sided dice… and YES that is a pet! Dices have feelings too! If you do not agree go play D&D you’ll know what I am talking about!

Plenty of flavour

So as you can see we will go all in with the new luxurious resort theme. Join the other guests at the resort and get a free imaginary cookie and a lei garland as well. If I get enough of a community we might even open up a pool bar! Pinkie’s Pool Bar does sound kinda need… *swagger-walking-animation* So thematically we should be good. Of course our review system will be themed towards the tropics as well. Pinkie does not grade based on numbers because that makes it to easy for people to attack me about it… ‘She only gave Dr Stone a 6’  instead I will use some very ambiguous flavors for my reviews. I think they speak for themselves.. and wouldn’t you say.. they are super cute!

So with this new direction I would like you to take seat at our imaginary pool, or run around in our arcade or even go take a walk on our beach and just enjoy yourself. You are in a place of like minded spirits, let’s enjoy ourselves together, no matter who you are, where your from or what flaws you have. As long as you are a geek, this can be your haven. Welcome to Paradise.