Movies & Shows – Pinkie's Paradise

It’s a new format: Princess Talks – Episode 1

Greetings Pleasants, as people might know I had a recent spell of blogging Dysphoria that made me question if I even want to keep pursuing this blog. It’s a great world and community, but I am not sure if it is fully my community! I do enjoy myself when writing, but dealing with that other stuff has been a struggle, stuff like topic selection, or what I want to achieve with a post. Also stuff like editing efforts and such! So I decided to develop a format that would deal with my issues! And out came out Pinkie Talks.

Why Pinkie Talks was born

I always had a dream of a very interactive blog, focussed on creative content, rather than reviews. However for those topics I am in a niche that isn’t large enough to maintain that interactivity. Reviews would be received well, and I consider tose low effort posts for me personally, while high effort posts did not nearly do as well. When my closest chat friends became aware and pointed out that lots of times my comment sections end up empty I realised I was burning a lot of energy on formats that I could not maintain without interactivity. I can not turn people into conceptual Pokémon if no one in my comments said.. Wow I like this, do me next. I COULD write anime concepts based on random things using wheels and generators.. but again..I’d burn energy to update said wheel, while I rather have it from audience interaction anyway. That is not anyone’s fault , it is just me structuring my posts wrong. I became dependent on my audience, and with me often to find enough energy to make it trough a day I could not keep up with 70 blogs to ensure interaction either.

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WordPress should be obligation free, for anyone. You do not OWE me a response, so I should not demand one. I might be a princess, but that was still wrong. I have no legal authority in your country yet after all! Still the passion to write was there.. so I wanted something that is more static in nature. Yet also something that isn’t what everyone else does. It’s not that I dislike reviewng or dislike all of your reviews… it is a much deeper issue. Whatever I attempted as a kid.. dad always told me I was not good enough in that… he still does! He recently told me I will suck as a streamer/VTuber. He talked down on the whole idea.. and when dad is a video producer/online content maker/web designer.. that stings.

Whatever sport I played as a kid, whatever hobby I picked.. he told me I was not good enough. What’s worse is.. I believed him. It nestled in my brain and stuck there…. so now whenever I do something I see the mass does.. my brain will ALWAYS tell me I am not good enough. I WILL be the worst streamer, I AM the worst blogger…not factually but in my head… in my dads voice that is a truth I still can’t deny! It sucks the joy out of things quite often…. but when I am unique and do things my way… . I might suck…but you also can’t compare me to others.

Now while Pinkie talks, is in essence just a log on what’s happening in my life and mind, and thus it is the very first defintion of blogs, I can escape that sense of judgement..because I am not reporting about Cowboy Bebop.. or Breath of the Wild, I am reporting about ME. I am the only person in the world who makes logs about me… so while I am the worst at it.. most likely I also am the best. I tried to trick myself into this by making my reviews personal…but I saw to many people write about what they wanted to see in reviews and adding standard elements to it.. I fell in that pitfall over and over again.. so I needed to find a way to cope! And doing my own little talkshow and log could work well so I made this a reality!

The Rig of my Dreams… and nightmares

My Vtuber dream is slowly coming to fruition, I am making steps to be the true content creator I desire, and I always admitted that blogging was just me settling, It was the video dream that I had as a kid… but surprise surprise, that costs money, which I did not have at the time. Now Covid helped me save a lot of money because I managed to break free of all those social things I do with friends for quite a while. They all say it costs nothing… it’s just a movie…, it’s just fastfood or it’s a ticket to a theme park but today it’s just … … Well , living on benefits I just realised how much money that costs. About a PC per half year! And that is in a market where scalpers have driven up the prices of pc’s very highly. I love my friends and I love doing stuff with them but my love for them kept my dream under lock and key.. and Covid gave me that key. I could make the sacrifice ..without it being a sacrifice!

Sharkoon VG6-W RGB behuizing met een doorzichtig zijpaneel en drie RGB ventilatoren

So I bought a great new PC! An “AMD Ryzen 5 5600X 6-Core (12 threads) 3.7Ghz (turbo: 4.6Ghz) Nvidia Geforce RTX 2060 GPU 256GB SSD 16GB DDR4” It even has rainbow fans.. it says on the box! It got delivered to me two days ago! … mostly! The Keyboard I ordered with it did not get delivered…. which is a problem if you have a Laptop! It got delivered in parts anyway and I can’t do the whole pc making thing so a friend of mine will come over to fix that..but I need all parts first so right now it is just sitting pretty on my desk! I proudly showed it to my dad..well the advert to it.. just to realise right after I purchased it .. it dropped 200 euro’s in price! … Frick! Even though I got it on sale, with a banner that said.. this sale will last for 12 more days! It did.. but the base price just lowered! … So that soured my joy a bit!

I got two 24 inch MSI HD screens with it as well! Which had the correct ports to hook it up ot my new tower without problems, and I got those on a fairly sharp sale as well! So I am quite content! They got delivered exactly on time and in good condition so nothing to complain about with that! I am over the moon! With two screens I can finally stream…….. had my microphone been delivered. You see I ordered an adorable Microphone which was supposed to be delivered by amazon yesterday. Including a boom!

Now Insomnia got to me that night so I did not sleep the entire night prior while I was waiting on my early morning delivery! Promising myself I would get a nap afterwards… but alas it got postponed till the afternoon, then until evening and then I got an e-mail saying it would be delivered a few days later. When I woke up this morning I got an email I send them back for a refund which if I did not do this myself meant the goods have been damaged. I will be refunded in 5 to 7 days…. so now I have to order this cutie again! It does mean I can get a capture card along with it as well though! So that’s a plus!

All in all I am super excited to get my new goodies.. but I am being very unlucky in the way I am getting it.

My first Stream

I am quite nervous for today as it will mark my first guest stream! My rig is clearly not set up yet.. but with my headset and an interactive PNG I will make my first appearance on the Twitch page of my new found friend VBI-Kun. Who is a blue cat spicy seiso V-Tuber. Spicy Seiso means … Spicy Pure. This means while the content technically is safe for work, you might want to reconsider showing your boss that this is what you are up to in your spare time. Unwise For Work.. I would call it!

Anyway VBI is a great streamer, who is quite active in the same community as I am and I try to pop by his streams when I can! Besides him I will be playing a game with about six strangers. So I am actually quite nervous! Mostly because it is my voice debut and I hate everything about my voice! I will be talking in character and overly accentuated Falsetto, until I get more speech therapy. So I am kinda nervous! For those interested in the cat man, you can find him at https://www.twitch.tv/vbi_kun

The game we will be playing is called Gartic Phone, which is a web (and I assume mobile) based game where you draw a prompt another player has mentioned. Which can be something weird like “Wolverine eating cabbage” Then the next player is shown your drawing..and they have to make up a new tag for it. Then the next person draws THAT tag and so on! Like one of those old message chain games..but with drawing AND speaking! It’s a really neat game! But there is one problem! I can now draw to save the life of me! Let alone draw within a time limit. Now I know VBI isn’t as much as an artist as many other vtubers either.. but he still draws better than me! So putting my pictures on display for all the world to see is something I look forward to doing.. but I might stand out between artists! Because so many vtubers are artists!… and as people will see tonight (my time) I am not!

Spare Time

I have been pretty insomniac lately so free time is kinda blobbing together with moments of nothingness. I have been watching a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh online content lately which has taken up the slots of my pokemon content , which I am currently on a small break off.. well not really but I just assume less pokémon content. My favourite show to currently follow on the web is Cimooooo’s Progression series. Which is a Yu-Gi-Oh series where the content creator opens Yu-GI-Oh packs (a booster boxx worth of them in virtual form) builds a deck with them.. and then they move to the next set.. getting a new booster box to slowly upgrade their deck!

Man do I enjoy that series! Even though they have entered the horrible generation of pendulums it is nice to see some actualy strategies across the generations that do not involve total blow outs! I also am very much enjoying the History of Yu-Gi-oh series by the same guy! Which highlights iconic decks and Meta builds from ages past! So good! Recently a new series has shown up where he builds one time decks using booster sets in chronological order. .. but this time all the old cards are tossed out! I am hyped for the future!

The Ice Road: Netflix dropt trailer voor keiharde thriller met Liam Neeson

I watched a very generic movie about ice road truckers, miners and Liam Neeson… It’s called Ice Road and I did not like the movie. I wanted to watch something dumb… and I kinda got that but it was written al wrong. Exposition focussed on the wrong things, emotional moments did not hit their mark and Lawrence Fishburne was completely wasted in a movie that is very generic. The only thing I did like about it was the story!

After a mining accident, a cooperation hires three truckers to bring them the one thing that can rescue the miners… but unbeknownst to our heroes, that same company wants their mission to fail because they cut back costs and increase productivity by disabeling security systems… I do feel that this is indeed an evil of these times, much more so then all those gangs and human trafficking circuits Liam usually encounters. However this is basically a Steven Segal movie with a 70 year old lead. It’s bland and you are better of watching the Ice Road series on discovery… though that has less crazy antics and gunfire.

I tried to watch an anime but I lacked the energy! I tried to get back into animal crossing on Switch but I found myself less drawn to the cute characters and the tedium as before, I started a new island and I slipped up in a few placements and I realised I would have to wait about a week or so before I could fix that and it deflated my passion. I tried to install Beyond Good and Evil on my laptop which was gifted to me by Indigo.. but it installs in french for me… which is very obnoxious mostly because I dont speak french! It is impossible to change the language because that was selectd in the old launcher.. and that doesnt run on the steam version! If I get the Ubisoft Launcher THAT in english and then install the game clean with no trace files of it left it should play in english…but that means

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I will play it on my new pc instead. I am trying to make my way trough Soma which is an submarine/machine based horror type game! It is really cool, but the fact that I am a machine and not a person does kinda suck the horror out of it! Still a cool game to play! I love making friends with the little lamp robots underwater and finding several ways to solve a puzzle. Quite good even if I am not very excited let alone be scared . It started out really scary though! It kinda makes me want to play Alien Isolation! I have also been playing some serious legacy of the duelist! A yugioh game I got on Switch.. I have nearly completed 100% of the GX matches and I can finally move onto 5d’s which is my favourite era in Yugioh!

Plans

To wrap this post up , let’s talk a bit about what I am planning next week! And to be honest, I am not sure! I hope I can get my pc working that week, but I really need my keyboard and he microphone set to come in in order to make that for work. I am getting some more gender therapy sessions which is good and I think I have an appointment with my psychologist set as well, so all in all it will be a great week for my mental health as having acces to said new pc is to be sure to heighten my spirts as well. If my Insomnia doesn’t break me down to much I plan to do one or two videos for my youtube channel as well. .. Again IF I can get my microphone delivered. I want to make a video where I explain the rules of my channel and maybe do one where I tell a story! I might even convert these Pinkie talks into videos at a certain point.

As for blogs go, will there be any next week?! I am not sure! The laptop had it’s backspace key break! Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t, blogging without backspace is quite annoying! So it depends! I will at least try to do something for the anniversary on saturday, but I am currently still unsure what to do. It might be a bit silly to celebrate two years of blogging anyway! So who knows! We might get something we might not, it’s all up to what I feel like. and that feels okay! I am happy with, I feel no more obligation to my blog, now I can finally blog just for fun! Freedom!

Mel Gibson versus history: how Braveheart got William Wallace so wrong

I am back! Sort of…. I think?

Good to see you again pleasants! It has been a while since I last blogged! I needed a break from it all because I wanted to focus on some of my greater ambitions! So what have I been up to? What is going on with Pinkie?! Well today I will tell you all about my pursuit to become a Vtuber and how it has changed things for me!

Why I took a break

10-hour clock | Fact# 3981 | FactRepublic.com — **How my days feel!**

So let’s begin at the start! Why did I take a break?! Well it has been no secret I have not been getting out of blogging what I want to get out of blogging! I really DO like the blogging community and you are all such kind and good people filled with passion and amazing penmanship… but for me this past year of blogging there was something missing from it! I have thoroughly enjoyed my interactions with the Paradise Staff and making up the stories in the blog is really fun. Yet on multiple occasions I have talked about how I missed something, and with my staff becoming less active and my Joy pointing out my comment section is often quite empty, I wondered what it was. I struggled to keep up with other blogs as well as I increasingly fell out of love with anime…. No wait that is wrong. I really do love anime, just not as much as you guys do?! I have several passions that trump that and I found them demanding increasing amounts of time.

I made a lot of Vtuber friends. Like the amazing Millie Fuwaffles, Nephillia and the always funny Patumbra, I also made friends with the amazingly talented and focussed Nini Neen, as well as plenty of others. I try to support them but this means watching about a 3 hour stream every day, I do pop in and out a bit but I want to offer them interaction! I want to be part of the community so that means putting in the hours. Through these interactions I figured out what I was lacking from blogging and that was … spontaneity I want to converse rather than just speak? I do like blogging interactions but compared to streams it’s a bit more “flat”. We say “nice post” .. or “you dumb pink cow, how dare you devaluate us by saying our interactions are flat.. you should die in a hole” or something in between. If I have an issue get good advice and my shoulderpads… but never (except with Joy… I love you for it Joy) you suddenly end up talking about something completely different. In a stream we can talk about the game the streamer is playing and suddenly end up in a conversation about the origin of taffy. All of you may know I thrive on randomness.. so this kinda thing is like my jam!

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I do still have a passion for writing, making up stories and telling stuff, that is still in my blood so it is not like I will stop blogging or that I do not get anything out of it, yet WordPress itself made it less rewarding still. The struggles to get the edit right, the relative amount of effort for a small visual thing no one ever really notices…it took the spontaneity even further away. I have a super cool idea and begin writing and that part is fun, but then comes dealing with the editor.. and it becomes less fun. Glitches, text popping in and out, having to sort my colours every time, it enforced that feeling of .. ugh.. not today for me! So I needed a break and really focus on something I am super passionate about! And that thing was starting my Vtuber career.. and to do that I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Coming out as a trans-woman

So this one might sound weird to a few of you, as I have in the past spoken openly about this on other people’s blogs! I have always reacted to posts about the subject and in OWLS it was on my “profile”. I have talked in depth about subject matter with people like Mari and Irina as well as some others. Yet on my own blog I never did, so this fact may surprise some of you! Truth of the matter, confessing that isn’t hard at all. I’d tell the truth to all who’d ask. I just feel, and forgive me if this offends you, that you have no business in knowing my genetic make-up…. in all other ways than that I’ve been that girl I said I am.. in fact in the virtual space I have been more true to myself than my parents have ever seen me past the age of 5. You guys have seen the real me…and that is why coming out was so hard for me. I had to corrupt my safe space.

In the text based virtual space, I have no tells that my biological truth may be different from my sociological truth, and since non of you are my doctor geneticist or those who need to write me legal documents, the gender versus genetics thing has always been a non issue. However as an aspiring streamer, I need to be confronted with my greatest shame.. my voice. I truly loathe my voice so much so that I am actually afraid to speak up! I am so scared and displeased by it that in fact I CAN not truly speak up. Health issues complicated that even more so it will be a tricky thing for me to deal with.. but since content making IS a dream, I can not have that fear hold me back anymore… and since the internet is how it is “You sound like a dude” .. or ” I bet she is actually a guy” in comments and all… I decided to embrace my flag though it pains me greatly.

I feel in order to chase my dream, I am leaving a piece of my true identity behind. I am a true woman.. I know it! Yet recently it has become a bit of a “trend” or more “accepted” thing to be Trans… which is great..except it feels wrong to me. I just want to be the woman I know I am.. and the woman I in all but the genetical way am! That doesn’t need to be closer defined. I don’t specify my skin colour, my eye colour or my clumsy demeanour either. I am not a “clumsy” woman.. well I am a clumsy woman but it’s not like a subspecies or something. This might feel stupid but in calling me a “trans-woman” I feel like I will forever be denied “woman”. It’s not as bad as being called a dude.. but imagine if your life long dream is to see Disneyland.. but then you are denied entry past Cinderella’s castle?! It’s still Disneyland sure and you can hug Mickey Mouse all the same.. but it feels like you are missing out on the true experience. That is why I reluctantly wear this flag. Trans… is not a state of being, trans is a journey you undertook to finally become your true self. It is fleeting. I know I had to do this coming out to explain my voice and some other things I will encounter as a streamer .. but I am just very afraid Trans-woman will lead into the JK Rowling mindset, where the opposite of Trans-Woman is her “true-woman” or whatever higher level of womanhood she claims to be on in her tweets. It would deny me from ever reaching my destination… and it makes me really anxious… so I struggled with that.

Becoming a VTube

Now let’s talk about cool things! My path to become a Vtuber! I have made some amazing steps on the way! I am learning more about streaming everyday, and I have found this amazing loving community filled with amazing people who support me and help me and are there for each other. Every time I visit one of their discords it feels as if I am on the floor of an anime convention or something, except we don’t talk about anime that much, we can literally talk about everything. There is a fair bit of anime talk but these people also care a lot about gaming.. much more in the same ratio’s as myself. Where in the blogging community I found people I look up to, and who are very eloquent and are equally as passionate as me , in the Vtuber community I have found my peers. People like me! Who much more share my humor and my quirkiness and a love for randomness. It helped me flesh out the character quite a bit.

For example I made the difficult decision to drop the name Pinkie for my Vtubing. There is this certain pony that completely drowns me out in any search results… except for weird questions like “are Pinkie and Goku in Love” which people apparently googled to land on my blog! I have taken on the handle of Yuni D’uque a japanese frenchie name that is based on my character being a uniduck. D’uque will perform fairly well in search engines once it is time for me to fully start streaming. Most elements are already in play for that! I have my stream overlays sorted out, I have made a lot of visuals, I have my amazing 3d model by Frisout (which kinda clips because she is just a Vroid but it’s an amazing place to start) I have made many new friends and even some collabs already planned. As a blogger I never fully managed to get that off.. because how odd it felt to me! I never felt good enough.. it would be fun but my part would be detrimental to someone else… I do not feel that burden as a streamer.

My New Logo

Basically I have everything I need to be a streamer..except for one thing! A rig with which I could feasibly stream. I need a new pc because I have discovered my system is NOT good enough for that! But that makes it all the more exciting to do this! I have found a system that I am ordering the day after this post goes live and then within a few weeks I am ready to start streaming. I am super excited! So I made a channel promo to highlight what I as a Vtuber will be about! I hired an amazing artist to perform some lyrics I rode to a song that means a lot to me… and of course Disney immediately claimed any rights to make money of that video… but at least they allowed me to use it! So yay!
So I will share that video here with you guys! It explains some new lore about the character.. but also shows she still has plenty of powers! I had a blast making this but you can see a lot of sloppy bits where my computer let me down a bit because I could not do something frame by frame, the laptop skipped a lot of things or jittered a fair bit! I am still kinda proud of it though!

So what about the Blog?

So what is next for my blogging career? Will I stop? Probably not! Will I be as active as I was.. most likely not that either. As much as I hate to admit it, the big issue is the overlap in interests is very little. Vtuber posts do poorly on here, as well as gaming posts (relatively speaking) so it will be a tricky thing to combine. Especially since this thing.. the video content creation thing is much more a passion than writing is. Writing is still fine but really WordPress isn’t.
I will still do creative posts! For example I still have Fred’s anime story about Nudism I need to make and do a Summer as a Pokémon post, as well as an anime story for her.. but again other than that I had very little interaction on the coming up with my own anime thing. So that format I will most likely turn into videos! Not as visual.. as I can’t do art and can only collage.. but somehow I want to do story writing videos where I just tell you stuff. I will also do interactive storytelling streams but I need to sort that out as well.. but let’s just say that some blogging content will turn “hybrid” once I get my rig.

I do not feel like doing anime reviews, I am not good at them, I still like anime but I always feel like I am late to the party, or I can’t compare Girl’s last Tour to that stage play thing Ian Mc Kellen did , so when say the story just gives me happy feelings where I want to wrap myself in a blanket with a bit of soup and look at it on a day I am feeling sick.. I feel.. inferior. Anime is something I love but to keep it as something I love, I feel I must keep it to myself because I do not care about a lot of things from anime. I do not care for studio’s, I do not really care for allegories, I do not care for animation fluidity yet in a review I can not help but feeling I need to include it. I tried to review anime MY way.. but I feel to make something a review I need to do something with it. You know as if a review is a too defined concept for me to excel at! I am more of a rambler! I know it is all in my head but I can’t turn that not good enough switch off. When I write reviews like that all I hear people being angry at me…because well there is also the toxic culture part and it’s just in my system so hard .. when I review I just hear myself go yapyapyap…. stupid insight, mildly funny joke.

I know most of my readers care way less about games, or about Vtubers but these are the things i am currently most passionate about. D&D as well. So honestly I do not know what I will do blogging content wise. I need to pay for my domain again soon and around that time I will make a true decision! It is unlikely I will fully be gone, but during my three week absence I will admit that I did not MISS blogging that much either. Well that is not correct, I did not miss it’s “static” nature, I did miss blogging a bit. So maybe with some exceptions of stuff that is already written I will treat my blog more like an actual weblog and tell you more about my days, my path of being a vtuber, what games I played and what stuff I watched. Or my general feelings on various topics! Less edit heavy, less pictures. I haven’t found out yet what I want.. and I think that is also okay!

In the end I still want to build a geeky community, so in that sense not all that much would change about the blog, I just want to bring more spontaneity to the table. We are nearing the second anniversary of the blog. Last year I had two give aways, both with one responder only and after that they became my most spammed posts so this year we will do something else at the very least. What it is , I am not sure yet! But I hope it will be fun. You will hear more about that! I am not done yet! I just thoroughly lost my way. I will admit that I am lost but also that no matter how things will turn out to be alright!

An Aquatic Adventure that does not make a Splash: Aquaman

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with another movie post.

Salutations my loyal subjects and sweet Island Guests. There is this age old question when it comes down to the comics. Marvel or DC. I myself always find myself a bit torn between them, which is great actually as they suit different moods. In marvel I mostly read the lighter stuff like Gwenpool and some Spiderman. In the DC universe I am usually drawn to the big stories and the narratives where everyone ends up dying. Yet when it comes to the movies, I am never in conflict. The DC movies can not hold a candle against the Marvel ones. The water based one.. is not all that different.

Rough Waters

Aquaman was released to the silver screen in 2018 and was directed by James Wan. With a 6.9 score on IMDB and a Metacritic fan score, this is one of the better received DC movies. It sees Jason Momoa return after Justice League to play the titular character. Supported by Amber Heard, William Dafoe, Nicole Kidman and Patrick Wilson. Critics rated the movies with about a 5.5 out of 10 and this time I am very much on board with the critics and less so with the audience, because while this movie does provide a lot of entertainment, there is also a heck of a lot about this movie that grinded my gears. As a Princess my gears should never be grinded!

I have a chemical dislike for Amber Heard, that even predates the whole Johnny Depp debacle. Ever since I saw her in Drive Angry… I just felt that this would be a person I dislike with all my heart. This happened only twice in my life before. Once to a classmate.. whom we shall call Archibald and once with a dutch celebrity that I could just not stomach. I knew Archibald was a good guy, he had humor and was witty…but somehow everything in my body told me to dislike him. I knew better and I managed to not be hateful to him.. but I would never be able to go past that. Amber Heard invokes the same reactions. There is just this thing.. the way she looks out of her eyes, for some weird way the way she “carries” herself.. makes me genuinely dislike her for no reason at all.. it is just my entire body and brain telling me to dislike her. I won’t judge the movie for having Amber Heard in it to hard.. but I thought it would at least be honest of me to tell.

The biggest issue however is not Amber Heard, it’s James Wan’s direction. This movie at least to me seems to lack a style. The best way to compare this is by saying it felt like as if I was watching Thor Dark World and Thor Ragnerok spliced together. That doesn’t match. The DC cinematic universe so far has been fairly raw and gritty and this is more like.. an actual comic book movie…at times. It is a style that is a lot more entertaining, but it feels really shoehorned in at some places. Jokes are used at very strange times and feel like the script said “insert joke here” rather than it being an actually funny joke. As a result of the clashing tones and some hollywood shenanigans I never got sucked into this movie. It felt like I was reading a comic. A comic in a style I would normally rather read marvel for.

Angler Fish

The movie is visually very pleasing. The set locations are fantastic and very imaginative, and to be fair the comics of Aquaman are a lot more whimsical as Jason Momoa’s first portrayal and this movie kind of fixes that. The adventure Aquaman goes on feels like a typical and classic D&D style adventure and has plenty of fun “side quests” so once again , as an entertainment product .. this isn’t so bad. It offers a fun little romp with fun characters and in some cases unique ways of fighting. There are some stunning visuals and some creative designs that feel more comic book loyal than anything else we have seen from DC (and in most cases Marvel) so far. So there is plenty of fun to be had with this movie… but I would like to compare it to you having a cool lego build set.. like a Lego Death Star, or maybe one of those pyramids filled with traps. Now you build it together with a kid… and while the build is fun.. at the end you can REALLY tell a kid helped you.. you used all the blocks but you can tell things are JUST a bit off.

Take Atlantis for example. This plays a major part in the movie and the visuals we get of it are stunning…but they are all empty. Nothing we see is ever used except for a Turret. We see technology like Manta Ray elevators or highly advanced tunnels.. but it doesn’t do anything. It just sits there for characters to travel through and after we seen a trip going forward and a trip escaping we never see the visuals again. After that Atlantis is shown from an interior perspective only. A shot from outside the castle could have done wonders. Take Asgard for example.. that is used rather well. The Bifrost is in use, we see shots of Odin’s castle and we get some sense of purpose in the city…still not great but already better than this. Black Panther is the best example. Every visual they use.. had purpose. The iconography, the buildings had purpose, the palace was shown both inside and out it never felt as set dressing. Aquaman does a lot just to look pretty.

Take for example the ring of fire. Aquaman meets his evil brother inside a glowing tile/small arena like ring then that room is just used to swim up into the real arena. Which is a big chasm with magma at the bottom. The magma is used for a bit in combat, as one would think would be the case in a Ring of Fire.. but once Orm (the bad guy) stops centimeters away from it and swims up again.. it is not used again.. we then get a trident duel, which then seems to have been the point always?! First of all.. if hanging a centimeter above magma doesn’t hurt you then why would Magma itself hurt you .. but okay comic book logic, but why would Aquaman abandon the fighting style that resulted him in almost winning two times and revert to fighting something he is disadvantaged in. Now they battle on some statue or ruins or such… a new visual but this ruin style is never used again or is seen back in the design of current Atlantis!

To me the visuals constantly feel like I am being baited into believing this movie is more epic than it really is. At one point Amber Heard’s character Mera and Aquaman go to the realm of the desert Atlanteans. People who sunk into the sand rather than the water. Aquaman falls into a hole and gets to go down one of those classic slides into an underground lair. They nearly fall into an impressive chasm but Arthur (Aquaman’s people name) rescues Mera in the nick of time. Before that they were stuck in the desert with no water and no supplies because Mera randomly jumped out of a plane…which is cool and all.. but if you are stuck in the desert with no water, then fall several dozens of meters or easily a hundred feet underground through a slip and slide… how do they do they get back up.. how do they overcome this impressive visual spectacle?! By a camera cut of course.. Once they concluded their business we just cut away and moved to them arriving at the next.. stunning location.

Release the Kraken

Aquaman’s journey takes a herculean style narrative, where in order to become the king of Atlantis he has to overcome a certain amount of trials. Even when he doesn’t want to be king yet the story feels quit segmented, which is both a good and a bad thing. It really makes this movie super easy to follow and it gives these classic treasure hunter vibes. In many ways this movie is structured more like an Indiana Jones movie than a comic book movie and that means it does stand out from it’s peers. Yet it also makes the movie feel really “blocky”with soooo many enemies. It kind of gets a bit of a Power Ranger feeling.

The first enemy is some random pirates, who are easily defeated.. but Arthur shows he is not worthy to be king yet by condemning a villian to his death. Then he is defeated by the big villain showing the man exactly how not ready he is. Next block he is out traveling with a girl whom he does not seem very compatible with.. she is quite the Tsundere but slowly begins to warm up to him, next block pits him against the pirate whose dad he let die earlier, having to face the consequences of his actions, before being faced with a bunch of mercenaries, then a bunch of feral people who just want to eat him and he has to show humility by just running away. Next he has to face a creature that can only be defeated by showing it how much he has grown on this journey before coming face to face with his brother showing he now has the whole package and doing a role reversal with his brother. It all gels together..but it kinda feels a bit “build a bear” ish. Sure you made a movie..but did you really write a story?

I never saw this movie before and right after the desert scene I began to predict scene after scene after scene. Not just scenes but entire strings of dialogue. Not to the letter but the gist of it. “So this is where we see that character” .. the Dark Kraken like creature asks him why he is worthy he will say “I am not” and that’s why the Kraken thing says he is. The final battle will end in him sparing a villain because of how the earlier scenes have set this up. It all is done very well.. but it is also done very unimaginatively. I know there are plenty of people who do not mind but I really hate it when I have seen a movie even I haven’t actually seen it before. On the one hand the movie is kinda good… but it feels as if someone opened a stock script and added a lot of water to it.

The Final battle doesn’t make a lot of sense either, it once again is very stunning visually but King Orm wants to fight some Volcano based crustation creatures because if he defeats them he can be called “Ocean Master” as he has command of all the armies of the sea.. and their leader gives him his army.. but refuses to follow the man himself.. so they end up fighting anyway?! Also one race of more fish like creatures also had their king slain by Orm and now they blindly follow him in battle in the fear of being destroyed themselves otherwise.. but apparently their army is so strong they are needed to defeat the crustaceans..so why would they not betray Orm their and side with the “Scorched” against this tyrant.. if he needs that army to win, he would certainly lose if it turns against him. Also Aquaman just has the Kraken thing living on the other side of the world erupt out of the ground with him on it and now also commanding those evil fish things because he has a spear that makes him the official ruler of the sea. He sits on top of the multiple story high creature yet the entire atlantean army fails to notice he has the spear. Maybe he is too far away.. but they mass attack the Kraken thing.. so it just doesn’t feel right to me.

This also applies to the final showdown between Aquaman and Orm, Orm is a strategist, everything he did , he did from a strategic angle, why would he now forsake that and fight against Aquaman at a clear disadvantage… the answer of course is that Aquaman can use a technique that looks very visually spectacular to win the fight. This is throughout EVERYTHING a movie that relies on it’s visual spectacle, where the narrative, the dialogue and even character motivations bend to enable spectacle. The Pirate who becomes black Mantha knows NOTHING of Atlanten technology yet he completely manages to customise plasma rifle into a big ass helmet that has eye beams. His revenge against Aquaman is very personal yet he decides to use an alter-ego name to do it. Aquaman in the end learns a technique he never could do.. just because it looks cool and I don’t really like that.. this movie has the right elements.. but it got it’s priorities wrong.

Was I entertained? Yes! Did I watch my clock a lot during the 2,5 hours this movie lasted? Enough to know I am not fully sucked in, I did not feel the need to turn it off though.. it’s kinda like staring at a superficially hot girl with no personality. Do I think you should see the movie if you haven’t?! Yes…but not because it’s a good movie but because the fights have this anime quality to it and to be honest it just looks really cool. For something about oceans.. this movie is very shallow! But if you just want to find something cool.. shallow will be enough! Tricky! What did you think of this movie?! Let me know … or not.. but no matter what you do! Stay random!

Staff Introduction: Cherry the Chef

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with a general announcement!

Salutations, loyal subjects and sweet island guests! Today is a day of celebration! No, it is not my birthday! Not the blogs second anniversary either! Though we are drawing close! No today we have yet another STAFF-member join us! So all put your hands together, and give a warm welcome to Cherry the Chef! Thanks to imagination we can replace that old drunkard that did the job before now! Sure we had Tadokoro Megumi work in the sushi restaurant but in the alla cart place we had this nobody! Yay for more staff!

Who is Cherry

Like most introductions before, Cherry chose to be introduced by me! Which means we will get a bit of character backstory! Followed by my experience with the person behind Cherry , her soul as it were, after which we will discuss the content she is going to offer to the website! I would really love it if people would interact with this post and give her a warm welcome! She is very new to the WordPress community and making friends is important! So I hope you guys will be kind to her! and that you will give her a warm welcome!

Cherry is the first character that comes from a somewhat tragic backstory! It all started on the island of Kawadrago. A fire dragon was anxious! She had to find a mate! But she wasn’t interested in the male dragons! Nor in the female ones for that matter. Sure she would love to have some friends, but she did not want to be fertilised to lay an egg! She did want that egg..but the whole procedure was a bit icky to her! Many called this fire dragon loveless! But she knew that was not true! Because there was one thing she loved more than anything else! That was eating cherries! She even had a favorite Cherry Tree. Because the fire dragon did not really have any friends.. she decided this tree was her best friend! She protected it , she talked to it and was super stoked when the tree dropped her a few cherries. She would eat her fill and then cuddle up around the tree! A nature spirit saw this and blessed the dragon with her desire! The next day she woke up she found she had laid an egg!

From this egg, Cherry was born! She was a half fie dragon .. and half cherry dragon! Or maybe a half fire dragon and half cherry! She never got an answer to that question! Her mother loved Cherry very much and until the end of her days, the fire dragon was never lonely again. Yet when the fire dragon had left it’s world Cherry was all alone.. and still in pretty much dragon infancy! Like her mother Cherry was an outcast among the more pureblooded dragons! Who’d only associate with pure blood dragons of the four elements! Cherry would get quite angry and threw hissy fits every time she was excluded! Yet her inner sweetness also prevented her from getting into a fight! So Cherry would go into abandoned parts of the forest and set it ablaze.. watching the fire!

One one such tantrums Cherry discovered she was very hungry! She found a rabbit that had died in the fire as well as some vegetables and fruits that had not burned up.. but looked different then before! A delicious scent entered her nostrils and she decided to consume the fire touched goods! It was the most delicious thing she ever had! For many years Cherry experimented with this.. whenever she had the chance she would tease the other dragons as well by setting fire to their favourite hide and seek hiding spots! If she could not play she would show them.. and get a delicious meal out of it! Yet despite her spunk, and her newly acquired skill to make food more delicious by cooking it the village kept alienating her! One day while she was trying to see if a fish could burn a bottle washed up on shore! In the bottle was a letter! After breaking the bottle and getting the letter out Cherry saw the message read “STAFF wanted”.. An island that was looking for a new chef! One where all the things you imagine can come true.. and where imaginary and real things live? She must go there!

Once arrived, she met Pinkie, the princess of the island! The two became quick friends! Both loved eating cherries, and Pinkie preferred that other people cook her food! When Cherry asked for the job Pinkie told the dragon that maybe some normies might be a bit scared of her looks like this.. so she could be like everyone else.. by just imagining her becoming human! A lot of Vtubers do this! Once even a glass of Milk-tea imagined becoming human! So Cherry tried as well! Pinkie loved her both ways but it would be nice to fit in for a bit! Cherry had a bit of trouble transforming! Two buns in her hair remained big ripe cherries and one of her eyes still looked like that of a dragon! While Pinkie and the staff was fine with it! Cherry decided to wear some items to cover it up! Just so she can play and have fun with a lot of people! And for the first time.. Cherry had found a bunch of misfits like her.. that all joined together! For the first time Cherry was happy!

Nowadays Cherry makes all sorts of meals on Paradise and when she isn’t cooking she is playing pranks on island guests! Or throwing a hissy fit somewhere! Cherry does not like it when something .. anything.. is excluded from something! She even stomped out angrily when Kuro said Pineapple doesn’t belong on Pizza! She doesn’t even like pineapple on Pizza but people should never exclude the poor fruit! Kuro is her favourite victim to prank! She would sneak up to his house at night when he is asleep, then turn bag into a dragon and leave a big footprint in the sand.. making him think a Kaiju is close, and as he runs of in the forest changing phantoms she walks in his hut and flips his mattress or changes the clocks.

What to do when the Housing Market (and the world) get turned upside down | | REX Blog — *_{And sometimes she uses her dragon strength to flip more than just the matrass!}*

Cherry and Pinkie

The Story of the Pink Sith: Sy'ra Delinda – Pinkie's Paradise

Cherry and Pinkie go back long before the start of Pinkie’s blog! By now I think we have known each other for about ten years. We first met on the Roleplay server of Star Wars the Old republic. Pinkie had just made a Sith character that got tortured so much and mind messed so up, her brain could not really retain empty information anymore! Things like.. names would never stick.. so she had to refer to everyone.. with a depiction of a word.. a sound or making it concrete to herself. Very dangerous in the Sith community! Especially when you call a Sith called Darth Gaur, Lord Growl. Cherry’s first character did not like my Pink Sith! My character had a hard time fitting in and had to fight to restore her mind! Yet among the ocean of super negative Sith being a positive one.. created some magnetism! People who did not want to play the super stereotype flocked to me.. and Cherry had a character she wanted to try to roleplay around my character as well. A shy Twi’lek who never could be touched.. met with my Sith who wanted to hug everyone!

From that an online friendship grew that lasted for way beyond the duration of our time on Star Wars, Cherry joined my online D&D’s almost every single time and alway is one of the most good spirited and creative players. She heavily veers into the archetype that is Cherry the character, so already she will do a great job in pulling that off. She is also a very loving mother, and that behaviour translates in her everyday reactions to everyone! No matter who in my roleplay chats is troubled, Cherry is always willing to hear them out and cheer them up with a virtual hug! So she in that matter she is very different from her character!

We both have been through a lot together, shared experiences with our health and our family and while on occasion we talk a bit less, we always somehow end up drawing back together to become a lot closer again! Almost as if it is destined we’d be friends! So it would be very interesting to see if Cherry will have some of that same appeal to our readers! Cherry has this beautiful fragility to her, almost like a baby bird.. but way less ugly than a baby bird! She may not be as Seiso as me, if you look at her and see her talk normally you completely forget, you drop your guard and then BAM she suddenly surprises you!

A mutual (former) friend once described her as an Espeon, where he was Umbreon and I am Sylveon.. and wdo fit those archetypes pretty well! .. I guess Kuro is an Umbreon as well, Sunny is a Vaporeon , Periwinkle is a Flareon and Indigo… despite being kinda missing in action, is a Joteon! So I guess we are just a Leafeon and Glaceon short of a full set now! … Maybe an Eevee.. so if you want to join…now that we have Cherry.. we finally have someone to translate our Ikea manuals for us.. so if you join you might get those benefits as well!

Warrior Espeon by ShupaMikey on DeviantArt | Pokemon eeveelutions, Cute pokemon wallpaper, Pokemon gijinka — Art by ShupaMikey

Cherry Cooks up Content

FEATURE: Cooking With Anime - Dragon Tail from "Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid" | Miss kobayashi's dragon maid, Best romance anime, Anime romance

My beloved friend and the most adorable Cherry-Dragon you have ever seen, will offer some quite unique content for Paradise! She will be a bit like me , and do a bit of everything! Some general talks about gaming, geekdom and of course her speciality.. cooking! Having found a great hobby in creating the best meals, in both virtual as real form Cherry will bring geekdom and cuisine together in a lot of cooking game reviews and maybe even some geeky recipes! Yet she is also not exclusively bound to this subject! Like I’d imagine a cherry based life form she is free to bounce around and offer content that is anything her heart desires!

Pin by lisha1 on Anime | Animation, Anime, Teacher gif

For example .. in the past Cherry was known to go on big lore tangents and rambles! Where we would just say … oh I saw a Priest with a Watch and someone said”Heh Tech Priest” and Cherry would go on and talk about the Origin of Tech Priests in Warhammer 40k… Now this particular example never happened but she did stuff like that! For example when I would ask what the correct name for Snorlax and Pikachu from Darksouls 2 was, she’d go on to tell a story that would last longer than a game of Civilisation! And I kinda love it!.. I did not process it all.. but still! I would personally love to see her do some deep dives in lore again someday! So who knows maybe I can convince her to do a series like that!

As for Cherry’s schedule, we need to figure that out still! My dear friend , like me , is plagued with fairly regular migraines and moments of minor health failure! You know the kind that doesn’t exactly put you in the hospital or the grave but are enough to block creative writing! It’s why I moved to an every other day schedule! So how much Cherry will post will remain something we need to discover over time! Those who are going to be mean about it.. even if you end up being a die hard Cherry fan, will have to deal .. with me! Well when I say me, I mean my fictional knights.. or me the cruel evil admin! Let’s all agree that we will not pressure each other and just have fun together! This week her first post will go up though which will be a blog about…… I am already feeling hungry! So I will go grab a snack or even a meal! It’s already quite late when I write this! Give Cherry a warm welcome.. and look out to her delicious content in the near future! Stay random!

Pretty Princess Pinkie – The Phantom of the Face Off Superhero Movie- Darkman

Hear ye Hear ye! Princess Pinkie is here with a new movie post!

Greetings my loyal guests and subjects! If you are a bit like me you will have watched Taken and thought “That is a pretty good action movie with Liam Neeson….. but that whole daughter being captured is kinda cliché.. it would be so much better if he threw a temper tantrum over a pink plushie!” If you are not like me, there is a chance this movie might have flown under your radar! So no matter if we are different OR alike, today we will take a look at Darkman!

Behind the mask

Darkman is a superhero movie that was released on the silver screen in august of 1990, it starred Liam Neeson as Dr Peyton Westlake, who would later take up the moniker of Darkman. The movie is directed by Sam Rami, and is co-starred by Frances McDormand, a name people might recognise despite her kind of lacking any iconic roles. A quick IMDB search gave me no real “iconic roles” but she has played in Fargo, Burn After Reading and did a lot of voice works such as the Mamma Dinosaur in The good Dinosaur. The Antagonist of the movie, and it’s sequel is played by Larry Drake… who is best known for Darkman and Darkman II, but also was the voice of Pops in Johnny Bravo! See there you go!

The movie scores a respectable 6,4 on IMDB, which I think is a really good score for a 1990’s Sam Raimi directed superhero movie (and yes it has a Bruce Campbell cameo). While Liam Neeson played the role of the titular character in the first movie, the character was played by Arnold Vosloo in the sequel, which would not be a big objection this time around since the movie is about switching faces… but for some weird reason in the sequel they replace Liam Neeson as if he was Vosloo all along. If nothing else this movie ins an interesting peek into Neesons earlier days of acting, which was .. a bit different, and with the early 90’s direction AND Raimi at the helm.. we see Neeson’s version of “Bully Maguire” or Symbiote Suit Spiderman from the Raimi trilogy… just done a lot earlier… and this time involving a pink elephant and let me tell you it is great.

Julie Hasting (played by McDormand) is ..I think… in real estate, or a real estate lawyer When she discovers a big player on the real estate market is doing some illegal things trough a document, a crimelord by the name of Robert G Durant begins looking for these papers, for he is in the real estate market as well and with this document he can put pressure on his competitors and own the city! By mistake or plot convenience this document ends up in the possesion of Dr Peyton Westlake, boyfriend of Hastings and the man who one day wishes to be her husband. He is researching a synthetic skin solution that can be printed into any face based on a few photos. However the chemical compound of his masks degrades by exposure to light! The masks are fine…in the dark but can survive about 100 minutes when exposed to light. Durant finds Peyton and kills his lab assistant, electrocutes Peyton so hard his hands char up completely then traps him in an explosion ruining his face.. in a very similar style as to how Harvey Dent lost half of his face in The Dark Knight.

With many burns over his body Westlake can no longer face the woman he has proposed to.. he lost his scientific work and his assistant, he lost his hands.. he lost everything, so now he swears revenge…which is amplified because the hospital severed all his nerves. Peyton no longer has any input of pain in his senses.. which causes everything else, including his emotions to overload! Drapped in bandages , a raincoat and a wide rimmed had.. he plans revenge.. rebuilding this face printing lab in an abandoned factory.. and using these masks to take revenge on those who wronged him… unknowing it will cause his old love Julie to become tied up in this once again.

Face Flourish* …..Off!*

So in this movie we get Liam Neeson with enhanced emotions, and all sorts of B-Grade actors having to play Liam Neeson playing them, but Liam Neeson with Soap Opera emotions! This concept is amazing… When you watch Face-Off it’s great to see two of the most over acting Hollywood stars, playing the other playing them..in all their overacting glory. This movie.. let’s a handful of Hollywood Redshirts, play Liam Neeson.. who is forced to over act. Which is great because we know him as someone who is very stoic and composed. This is mixed with a very strong Phantom of the Opera Influence throughout and supplemented by the camp that is 90’s superhero movies!…And it’s directed by Sam Raimi! How can this NOT be good! This concept is just so amazing! What makes it even better is that a lot of the technology that is used in this movie, kind of, is relevant in this day and age. Sure we don’t have skin that dissolves in the light.. but the whole 3d printing and phone apps that can extrapolate a lot of data on your face make this movie all the more delightful to watch.

In this movie Liam Neeson infiltrates the Crime Network of Durant by making himself look like the henchman and of course like the head honcho himself. Now this already is a very fun criminal organisation, with your classical bald bruiser type guy, the sunglasses wearing cool dude with long hair, and the scruffy looking guy with an artificial leg that can be detached and used as a weapon! We have seen machine gun legs in a few movies.. but the way how this movie handles it is the GREATEST weaponised limb I have seen in movies. What’s different?! Well normally we see the owner of the weaponised limp use it… but not this time the cool guy just yanks the limp from the other guy and uses it.. or the scruffy guy hands it over to him.. but than just stands there.. hopping on one leg… that’s ALL he does! He takes of his leg and gives it to someone else to shoot it .. while hopping! Hilarious.. but it also makes a lot of sense.. cause you can’t aim when hopping! It’s things like this that really show me the movie isn’t afraid to have fun with itself.

Have you ever wondered how the phantom of the Opera just happened to find one of those half masks .. and also the right half for his face?! Well in this movie Neeson tries to print his own face.. but because his lab exploded the one photo he had of himself is damaged in the exact same spot as his real face! He tries to make his mask.. but he can’t he has to extrapolate.. and because he only has an old junky computer which was old in the 90’s.. turning that into a 3d model takes hundreds of days. Which sounds legit but nowadays it sounds hilarious! However it also shows us a bit in what timeframe this movie takes place it helps us feel the alienation, Peyton Westlake must go trough and it offers interesting challenges.

Every mission he does..which later in the movie includes dating his former girlfriend again.. has to be done in 100 minutes or his new face will melt! So when a Carny refuses him a price he won..with only a few minutes left on the clock… with his enhanced emotion Peyton just loses it, with over the top rage eye effects added in and mind snapping animations to boot.. it’s just the flavour of bonkers I am looking for! Honestly this movie makes Face/Off seem like a nuanced movie. Take the damned Elephant.. is something I never expected Liam Neeson to say in such a threatening voice, and it gets even better when we get into the classic, Shoot Him.. No Shoot him I am your real boss moments when a character is forced to shoot at one of the two similar looking characters. I normally find that something for a Cartoon but there are little moments and motions that really sell this for me. For example Peyton is super afraid the masks comes off so he is constantly tucking in his neck, it’s so weird to see a real actor.. straighten their own face.. but it really helps sell the illusion, it makes everything silly at the same time but I really love it.

Not so Dark….Man

This movie feels quite different from other Superhero movies as well, as Peyton does not really have much super powers, other than not being able to feel pain. He has to outsmart the villains, has to stake them out and thus he doesn’t patrol the streets at night, no he constantly stakes things out and goes for the slow burn. He learns routines, practices their voices, their quirks, and since Raimi wants to make the timer element much more of a thing, almost the entire movie , except for the grande finale, takes place during daytime. It’s the light that adds the suspense rather than the dark, and while I would not call the movie suspenseful, it really does add something that all fights take place during the day and we can see the doppelgangers in full colour rather than in a dim lit room to polish out some bad effects. While some effects clearly do not hold up.. the movie really commits to it’s style!

You can see the movie was released at the back-end of the 80’s as a lot of the criminal stuff kind of reminded me of miami vice, the bright coloured suits the gangsters wear, the over the top.. cutting your finger off with a cigar cutter thing, the fact the movie has to have a helicopter chase. It feels really dated….but in a good way. Sure lady in this movie is a pretty helpless damsel in distress, their is not as much representation in this movie and the technology this movie was based on now almost is a joke, but that’s also what’s so likable about this. It is not something that could exist in this form in this day and age, in almost any perspective. There is no real development for Peyton, the name Darkman is way to on the nose, the damsel is way too helpless and durants gang ALMOST look like Jojo’s characters, fashion wise. Even the way chinese restaurants look feel dated.. which made me feel like I was watching something that has gone extinct.. like the Buddy Cop genre. .. It had a lot with that genre in common in the cinematographic style as well.

There is something about the way this movie is shot, not a lot of fancy tricks, not a lot of dark broody hero poses making the hero look cool, no! He gets the job done and is nervous, keeping checking on his watch, At the ending we are shown there is another guy besides Durant who is all part of this whole construction situation scheme and he jumps around those metal girders of a construction site with ease, he has been on so many he developed a feeling for it, while Neeson’s character wrapped in a heavy coat and bandages has trouble. Never does he feel cool, or all that hero like..the camera really shows this as well. Feeling very VERY basic for a Superhero movie, the action doesn’t feel “cool” or stylised. We really get the sensation that this is just a guy out for revenge..with a lot of enhanced emotions.
Only those emotions are stylised which is neat because that fits the silly tone of this movie so well but also never makes the hero seem immortal. He does not feel physical pain..but he can be ashamed..he can be so nervous he is forced to run away and that’s just such a neat take on the genre.

Pink Elephant

I LOVED this movie! I still love it, even though I know the IMDB score of 6.4 is probably fair, to me it is so much more than that. Yes the acting is hokey at times and McDormand really isn’t good in this movie but for some reason it blends so well. Because the movie wants Liam Neeson and the “duplicates” to lean so much into soap opera acting, the hammy acting of the rest of the cast really works as well, they fit in the same universe. Darkman somehow is extremely cliché YET has this “pragmatic” style of film making to it that really sells it for me. The big bad doesn’t get taken down in a big epic satisfying way, it’s more like as if an opportunity arises and our hero takes it. That goes for all the takedowns. It goes for the movie making as well. It doesn’t come on screen as spectacular as you might want, sometimes even a bit clunky..but it feels very much intentional.

In the end I’d have to compare the movie with the a pink elephant plushie. Sure it’s not a giant bear , it also is made with some cheap looking plastic eyes and some overly bright fur and it’s not an iconic toy such as Pikachu plushie or whatever is on your Dakimakura and in many way it’s just a generic plushie.. but once you hold it and hug it, you can really appreciate how soft it is, how good it is to hug! It might not be something you display with pride.. but whenever you are feeling blue you can pull it out of wherever you hide it and have a great time and let it and all of it’s flaws and camp cheer you up! Great entertainment even if it’s nothing else.

Amazon.com: MaoGoLan Big Pink Elephant Stuffed Animal Soft Elephant Plush Toy 20'': Toys & Games

Have you seen this movie?! Did you like it?! What is your favourite cheesy Superhero movie?! Let me know in the comments! The Princess would like to know the thought of her subjects! If you liked this post please consider supporting me on Kofi! I am currently working on tiny projects to bring more content to the blog!

I am on my Couch, yet I feel Lost: Pinkie Watches Labyrinth

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie is here with a new Movie and Shows Post!

Greetings my Loyal Guests and Subjects! It may not be a surpise to you that I really dig the strange and unique and seek out these movies , games and anime on regular basis. One weird product in the movie industry had eluded me for the longest time.. but today I finally managed to get that film under my belt. In this movie David Bowie plays the Goblin King, a baby stealing , delusion of a man who creates several musical intermezzos in this oddball of a fantasy movie. Today I shall tell you of that time I watched Labyrinth.

The Wizard of Wonderland…with Puppets

In 1986 Jennifer Connelly starred in her breakout role in the movie Labyrinth, a Jim Henson movie that pits the ,then still a child, star against a pop singer. Which usually isn’t such a great idea. Child actors are known for their hokey acting.. and how poor children are written in movies, and singers…. well… just name a well acted movie starring Justin Timberlake… It is a movie that has the audience and the critics sharply divided on Metacritic , scoring only a 5 out of 10 from critics and an amazing 8.4 out of the audience. So such a bit difference is already weird… What’s weirder is.. I kinda agree.. with both sides. In their own way each is a very fair way to look at the movie. The first thing you need to ask yourself is, do I like Jim Henson’s work?! Jim Henson , should you not know the name is the big name behind the Muppets and Sesame Street, he is the master of puppets and his creatures are recognised all across the world, and while these creatures may not be anywhere near as Iconic as some other Jim Henson products, you can tell this movie is his. Which I find a huge boon!

The plot follows character Sarah who is rehearsing for a play about the Goblin King, however she has fairly recently gotten a stepbrother, her stepmother being over protective over little Toby forces Sarah to take care of this little brother much to her chagrin, she feels like the forgotten child, remembering a rhyme from her play she wishes that Goblins come and take her little half brother away, That they do! Immediately Sarah regrets her actions and tells the Goblins to give her brother back, the Goblin King , Jareth played by David Bowie floats to her window and tells her he can not undo the wish. She has 13 hours to travel trough an amazing fantasy land that is one giant Labyrinth to go to Jared’s castle and reclaim her little brother before he is turned into a goblin himself and stays with Jareth forever.

The movie clearly targets a young audience, with little consequences and stuff like death or injury being replaced by less harsh, but way more looney consequences. Like falling into the bog of Eternal Stench.. an event that will cause you to stink for the rest of your life. Amnesia or turning into a Goblin replace death as well, and the risk of injuries is often being played for jokes, such as creatures who can rip of their own head and toss it , put it on another creature and just have fun with it. When someone is crushed by a rock they just fly off like a bowling pin, and more like that. It makes the movie quite whimsical and delightfully lighthearted. However the dialogue has been written to appeal to a younger audience as well, which can at times feel a bit unnatural, like you are watching a high school play. Since the movie kind of sets this in a twisted version of a high school play though, I am not sure if it is an actual downside. It just is presented in a rather unnatural way.

The movie has a lot of similarities with the Wizard of Oz, in the sense with that there is a path to follow.. more or less but events constantly throw the journey off, and it even has more in common with Alice in Wonderland, with characters being extremely strange and the riddles and puzzles that have to be overcome are tackled in a manner that Alice oftenly would. The characters that join the main character however do really resemble the party format of Oz again.. with an ugly treacherous gnome/dwarf that finds friendship along the way, a ogre like creature that becomes braver as they go, and a dog knight that learns some humility and that fighting is not ALWAYS the answer. Very cute, and pretty well executed. The biggest trouble is that it kind of falls short when compared to it’s greatest inspirations, but those are pretty much masterpieces so I don’t really hold it to that standard. I can see why a critic would conclude it’s an inferior product though..because it is… however there isn’t that much in the genre anyway and as general entertainment I could not help but be slightly enamoured with this flick.

Twists and Turns

The moral of the story is where the “problem” of this movie lies. I will explain why I write “problem” in quotation marks a bit later on. The moral of this story and that the main character has to learn is “Life can be unfair sometimes, we just have to deal with it when that happens” .. or something like that. It is indeed unfair if a parent favours one child over the other, but it happens especially if one child is newborn and the other is in their teens. It is unfair that some pappa’s and mamma’s don’t stay together and you have to allow another person in your life. These are troubles Sarah has to face before the movie even starts.. but throughout the journey this theme is forced in pretty hard. The Labyrinth cheats! If she is smart enough to mark the route, little creatures will change it. A worm.. which by the way is the most adorable thing EVER .. tells her that sometimes she can walk through a solid wall! Sometimes solving a riddle and clearing an obstacle will immediately resolve in a new punishment. For a movie about making progress that can feel a bit lackluster.. and make progress feel more like a Deus Ex Machina than earned.

For example at one time Sarah is solving lots of mysteries in a row, some hubris sets in and she tells him, this is super easy. He then fast forwards time to give her 4 hours left instead of 8.. or something. Why not fast forward it all the way so you win?! Why give her a chance? Why come up with a riddle segment and have Sarah solve it.. if you give her the punishment for failing it anyway.. on a fundamental level it feels wrong. The movie isn’t satisfactory in that regard. Stuff happens because it happens, and normally I would HATE a movie for that. I hate a lot of anime who do that.. but this one gives clear hints on what is going on, you just have to assume something, something most people really do not like to assume these days. To enjoy this movie you have to watch it .. as an analogy rather than an adventure.. because while the events are fun, the actions taken end up being inconsequential due to the chosen theme.

I did not end up minding it all that much in retrospect when I saw the big picture but there where times I felt very frustrated. The character of Sarah is a big offender in this as well.. for the first half of the movie she is extremely whiny. She complains how unfair the maze is and how everything works against her. She vents this to characters who do not deserve it and the whole idea of wishing her brother away because she is studying a play and hates his crying noises already makes her feel quite bratty. An argument can be made that Jareth, the Goblin King is more appreciative of the baby than Sarah is and he’s the better choice. The movie fixes that later on but at several points in the movie I found myself rooting against Sarah! If you close your mind off because of that before the midway point, this movie might indeed suck. I don’t like children and Sarag began to annoy me just as a child would .. and then I realised… she is annoying but most children who would not be crippled by crying would react like this.. I as a child would have probably reacted like this.

The movie makes the odd choice to leave a lot of responsibility at the mature viewer, you have to poke through some things, if you take everything face value and “as seen on screen” this movie might not satisfy you. Like a fairy tale, we seem to walk across a beaten path with a cookie cutter morality and a clear sign of who will be the victor at the end. However if you poke a little deeper there a lot there. Do these events really happen? Or is it Sarah’s mind trying to cope with how unfair life is and allowing her to grow enough to learn a lesson. Do we sometimes need to let go of reality and it’s unfair to escape.. so we can later on face that unfairness.. that to me is what this movie is really about. What we see MIGHT have happened… but if she imagined it.. all those silly things that did not make sense before make sense.. after all she is creating the scenario and it also all feels very much like the mindset of a child, every single event even how the story sometimes derails into something so fantastical that it does not make sense… maybe Sarah ‘s true labyrinth is that of the feelings in her own mind. Kids get a cute little adventure, yet there is something for a mature audience as well. You just have to work your grey matter and imagination a bit to find it.

And then there’s Jim

The creatures we encounter on this adventure are so fun! I especially enjoyed Ludo the ogre , stone summoner and the worm! Oh I loved the worm so much! It had like 3 lines of text but it was great. It just tells Sarah there are doors that she can sometimes not see and she can move through some wall! But he also keeps inviting her over for dinner! Inviting her to come inside.. there is no clear indication of what he means inside, nor what’s for dinner. There is just a worm… in blue with a scarf that tells her you can go to a wall or come for dinner. I do not know why I love it so much but I absolutely adored it. Then there is a wise dwarf, with a talking hat who bestows wisdom on passersby. The hat looked a lot like the minish cap from zelda, even speaking in the same sarcastic tone. Two door knockers, gargoyle like by design one with the knocker in his ears the other in his mouth. One can’t hear one can’t speak! Find out which door is correct. I love this kind of stuff. Sir Didymus being a dog riding on a dog was great as well, especially since one is a puppet and the steed an actual dog! It is also quirky and even all the goblins felt unique!

This movie, while an original story feels very much like a fairytale.. but also like a hodgepodge of fairy tale tropes.. like a kid or young girl trying to write her own story, including moments where the story derails… a great example of this is when Sarah loses Ludo as her guardian, he just falls trough the floor for no reason, nor is a reason ever given after reuniting with him.. he just comes out of a tunnel… but while alone Sarah comes across creatures that look a lot like Kowakian Monkey Lizards from Star wars..but bigger.. in pink and yellow and orange fur. They sing a song and toss their heads around to tell Sarah they want her to play as well and will rip of her head. It feels so extreme for this story, very Alice in Wonderland.. and very much like I used to write when I was young.

There is an encounter with Jareth on some MC Escher like stairs, where trough camera choices I got absolutely confused which was the point and it felt great. For a movie about a Labyrinth I truly felt lost, Henson made most of his characters so insanely quirky that they become self aware of their quirk. Like the guardians with one always speaking the truth and one always lying, by all the questions they have been asked in the past and all the mystery they forgot who is who themselves.. and aren’t even sure if they should lie or tell the truth thus if Sarah goes trough the door and falls trough a hole we aren’t sure.. did the creatures accidentally flip roles, is the hole actually progress, you can feel lost if you allow yourself too and if you immerse yourself.. and a lot of it is due to the wonderful cinematography, amazing creatures and fun effects.

Some events have this level of theater effect to them.. like a stone coming in rolling very slow based or a pebble clearly on a wire being moved towards the main character. It feels like one of those old stage plays, like the Muppets is supposed to be I guess. It feels intentional yet hokey, it takes you out of the movie enough to give it a proper thought.. but also allows you to enjoy the wonderful creatures more. Like the hooded goblins with numbered helmets.. we see them several times but never see why their helmets are numbered.. not until way later where they end up being bowling pins to Ludo’s special attack! A super simple joke but long before that they were on my mind as to what the secret of thiose numbers could! It is all some great work and because it’s so hokey and forced at times.. it doesn’t age as poorly some effects feel like they were intended to feel wooden and forced.. so even the puppeteering that aged worse.. can be seen as semi intentional! Great work Mr Henson!

We are all mad here

If you asked me if I enjoyed this movie I would say yes! If you ask me if I had a good time while watching it, I’d be a bit more reluctant to say yes. The second half of the movie is a great ride so would a rewatch of the first half.. but the first time you watch this… or the first time in a long while … eeeeh…. Sarah is a brat and that ends up being great as we really go on a journey with her towards a better version of herself..but she comes across very abrasive from the start and only when she accepts the maze ins unfair, she becomes a remotely likeable character That is relatively late in the movie to start liking a main character. That’s the whole thing I think.. if you hold it to normal movie standards this is odd! Maybe to odd It doesn’t fit the normal criticising format. So if you review it as just a movie.. maybe it is bad. Reviewing by your normal, story, music, acting etc standards you can easily rate this a 5/10! Sure there is plenty of things wrong with this movie.. at least in the sense with how one normally reviews movies.

If you see it as a quirky visual fairy tale made by Jim Henson… that is a childs day dream about coming to term with the fact that she has a new family now and has to accept her new little brother as well as him getting more a spotlight than her you are in for a great time! This is NOT a movie that you measure by the normal standards, it can’t… well it can but in doing so you’d already be missing the essence of this flick! It doesn’t fit the standard bill. For once I do not really have a weird analogy for you this time because this thing is really unique! Labyrinth is not just a movie… Labyrinth is Labyrinth. If you can watch it with the goal of understanding or experiencing this wonderful product, rather than “put on a movie” a great time awaits you, that you will remember long into your happily ever after. The Bowie songs though will fade away rather quickly.

Did you see Labyrinth?! What did you think? Who is your favourite character? Let’s get lost in the comments but be sure to bring your Bedroll in case we really get lost! Because remember folks!
Friendship is magic but dreams are even more wonderful!
Oyasumi!

Pretty Princess Pinkie: The Phantom Menace

Hear Ye Hear Ye! Princess Pinkie has returned with a new movie & Shows post

Greetings my loyal guests and subjects! Tis with a great smile that I announce a new sort of column on my blog! Many blogging guides on the internet tell us that when writing a blog we should curb your enthusiasm nor should we be overly negative. In this double series I will do both! In Pissy Princess Pinkie I will take a super negative attitude.. but in a fun way.. and in Pretty Princess Pinkie I will spout unbridled Enthusiasm! Since I started Pissy with a movie that is commonly known to be shit.. I will do the same for Pretty Princess Pinkie.

A long time ago, in a cinema only a small drive away

Jedi Temple Location Gallery | StarWars.com

I did not have a great childhood! I was bullied for my motor skills a lot and spent most of my time alone. My dad and I had a poor bond but when mom had to work during the weekend and my sister would spend the entire day at a friends birthday party, he took me to see a movie that would change my life, in a way. That movie was Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. A movie that is always under fire from the community, yet a movie that I hold in much higher regard than most. For many reasons! Because this was the movie that evolved Star Wars from a Sci Fi Western trilogy towards a big epic world. The original trilogy was amazing..but what Phantom Menace did for the world of Star Wars really changed my life. Not the movie itself persé… but the afterthoughts. For one I am 100% sure that without establishing the politics and groundwork that were created in this movie , we would have never gotten the Old Republic stuff.. after all there would not be an old Republic without the Republic.

All The Force Powers In Star Wars Canon: Light Side, Dark Side & Universal | Editorial | Star Wars

To me, Star Wars Episode 1 back then and up to this day felt like a natural evolution of Star Wars, we first see the aventures of the one, than the adventures of the few and here we see the adventures of the many. Instead of a lonely boy or a rebel group, we see well established forces such as the Jedi Order, the Galactic Senate, and the citizens of a planet fight for what they believed in… as a whole. Very unlike the old Star Wars movies, it was stuff you could form an opinion about. The Emperor and Vader in the original trilogy functioned as an absolute and undisputable evil. Here we CAN actually make choices. Do we indeed believe the Trade Federation blockade is justified?! Most likely not!, after all they tried to kill the diplomatic envoy..however they only do this after protocol has been breached and known mind sorcerers were sent to their ship. Naboo ends up in a similar situation, do we fight, do we flee do we garrison up?! This to me validated the entire concept of the force.

Star Wars Behind The Scenes - Queen Amidala - Star Wars The Digital Collection - YouTube

While I love the original trilogy the concept of the Light and The Dark side was kind of flat! With the Dark Side , being flat out “evil”. It is said anger does lead to the dark side, but except for the very last part never was their a trial.. to test once affinity with a specific side of the force. Here a Jedi constantly has to make choices about what is just. Sometimes what is just isn’t what is right and it creates a much more dynamic world. A world I was enchanted by, a world I shared with my dad… of course he did not really care but that was a time he wanted to do something nice for me.. and he must have seen me lit up because I adored what I saw! Even when I was little(ish) these mind game kinds of things really vibed with me. I love stuff like that and maybe this is where that began.

The Living Force vs The Unified Force

Back then I did not know about all the extra lore there was to find out there! I just wanted to have a big fish. And Jar Jar on a Kaadu as toys ! I mean.. I love ducks and unicorns so why would I not love a duck horse. Regardless, many naysayers tells you that Episode 1 is boring and I could not disagree more. I loved how this laid the foundation of the Living Force Theory and the Unified Force theory., which is a division between two types of Jedi.. one believing that the force is a single entity that is all around. more like .. “god” as it were. These were typically the very wise and classic Jedi, like Yoda and later Obi Wan…before Qui Gon’s passing. Yet others believed in the living force. That the force was inside all of us.. bound to someone and somethings on more personal levels. These Jedi lived more in the present and were less “religious” and the most prominent follower of the Living Force was Qui Gon. This division was notable from episode 1 on.. and it was what made the jedi cool to me! Before this I never really thought the Jedi were cool.. but Qui Gon.. propelled them into the stratosphere.

That opening scene and the fight against the Droideka was insane! The new laser sounds, the shields, the rolling! This is what a sci fi weapon should feel like to me! These made so much more sense than those “walking camel things” To this day I still feel like that. The idea of having a robot roll and zip around like that, allowed a design to be bulky and intimidating yet never just clunky! The whole concept of using droids fits in so well with the theme of this movie as well… do we believe in the ancient doctrines or do we believe in the talent and promise of the individual was a theme for Anakin, the Living Force theory vs the Unified force Theory for the Jedi… and are Droids stronger.. who all follow one mission without fail and without mistakes… or is humanity stronger, who is prone to mistakes.. but can also think out of the box. This theme is even used with Jar Jart to an extent.. in the form of.. he is very different from the standard gungan.. he is not part of the whole.. does that make him weak?! In a way this is a story about diverging from the standard. Should we?! Will we?! What are the consequences?

Star Wars: Liam Neeson is niet benaderd om zijn rol als Qui-Gon Jinn nogmaals te spelen in Live-Action show

This is a clever choice from Lucas because not only does it give the world much more depth, you create a lot of grey areas as well. Lando was a huge dick for betraying Han in Cloud city but in the prequels and mainly episode 1 that could have been given more depth. Does he believe in the power of the empire.. or in these unlikely people that might break the status quo?! That more Black and white approach worked very well in the orginal because we did not know where the story was going. We felt things.. but in the prequels we KNOW Obi Wan survived, we KNEW Qui Gon most likely would not, we know what is going to end up happening to Anakin, so by formatting it like a Space Western like before one could easily become to predictable.. and that is a pitfall I think the part 2 and part 3 fell into a bit more, but this movie surpised me a lot.

The Force is Strong with This One

Laser Brains — polis-massa: Obi-Wan Kenobi in “Phantom Menace”...

Yes Jar Jar can be annoying, but so can C3PO.. we saw those characters grow, to me Jar Jar was a needed disruptor because Qui Gon and Obi Wan as Jedi would not make the same choices Luke made. They already went on missions and were experienced.. and the life of a Jedi is not as exciting as the movies might make it seem . A good Jedi can fight himself off a ship filled with droids. A Great Jedi tries to make sure he doesn’t need to draw his saber at all. This mentality calls for a character like Jar Jar and while his speech is kind of vexing that is kind of the point. He is not meant to be annoying for annoyance sake, he is there to show how strong and composed someone like Qui Gon is. How he differs from Obi Wan.. who doubts Jar Jar more. We all KNOW Anakan is the chosen one so we KNOW Qui Gon is right about him, seeing Obi Wan and Qui Gon argue about that life form is not interesting because we know who is right! With Jar Jar however that is different.

Does Qui-Gon use his hands to eat after he catches Jar-Jar's tongue? - Science Fiction & Fantasy Stack Exchange

In my eyes the whole point of Jar Jar is .. .”If I had a lightsaber I would have cut of his head by now” … it shows us the audience the tranquility of a true Jedi not to be phased by the clowning. He doesn’t hurt drawing in a younger audience either and also shows us an important lesson, you don’t need to have amazing super powers or space magic or be a highly skilled person to be a hero! Sometimes what matters is that you are there.. fighting for what you believe in! Star Wars as a whole can be a bit preachy and say that power comes only to a few.. Jar Jar all makes that feel a bit less toxic! Besides that Gungan city looks gorgeous! It’s a great visual that at least to me screamed much more sci fi than.. North pole or Tunesian Desert. This movie sells that a bit stronger to me anyway.

The mask is latex Watto in Star Wars I : The phantom menace | Spotern

I love the Mos Eisley Cantin in the original episode IV and sure there are a lot of alien races but the bar itself doesn’t feel all that alien. Episode 1 shows that aspect much better. Alien sports, alien locales and alien weaponry. Mos Espa has a “logic” to it, feeling less like a showcase and more like a lived in world. While I love Devornian and Talz (that are shown in episode IV).. one could argue that they are monsters and they can walk on Sesame Street as well..sort of speak of course. In every scene though this movie felt very sci-fi to me. Much more than many scenes in the original did. While many of the aliens in the original looked cool, here there identity mattered. Like how Sebulba as a Dug has a super quick reaction time and Watto is Immune to force tricks and how ihis species greed contributes to the role he plays. You can’t say that for “Do You Wanna Buy Some Death Sticks” guy or .. “My Friend Doesn’t like you” guy!

Naboo Starfighter screenshots, images and pictures - Giant Bomb

The Naboo starfighter is also one of my favourite fighter jets, over the X wing. It just pops so much more in space! It’s so good! That scene also works well because we see Anakin having established these powers before. Let’s compare that with Rey who learned how to force heal out of nowhere. Yes, Force Healing is an actual power.. but we never saw Luke have it, we never seen Leia read ancient texts about it, it came out of nowhere. While the pod racing scene and this scene can also easily explain why Anakin is so adept in combat which also is expanded upon later, AND that calls back to the original as to that family trait is what allowed Luke to hit the Death Star Exhaust. The Pod Racing scene is not just cool for the sake of being cool! It shows us that the character of Anakin has certain abilities within a “recreational” environment. An ability that is later expanded upon and that would have made much less sense without the podracer being there. The Sequel Trilogy hardly ever did that.

Star Wars' Dave Filoni explains why the Duel of the Fates in The Phantom Menace is so important

The Duel of the Fates Scene to this day is my favourite Lightsaber duel and it introduced a weapon that looks cool, but also has been proven to be more beneficial than one initially might think. The deflector shields opening and closing gave that fight such a great timing and sense of dread as well. It made it so different and much more in line with the Jedi, once more establishing how different they are from the Sith and the teasing Maul. Maul would only later develop a personality and people complain about that.. but Maul served the role he had to in this movie. The Lapdog of Sheev, the loyal assassin that just did his job, an inescapable threat. We didn’t need to know anything about him because that is not what he was here for. Sure I thought he was super cool, and I was glad they gave him a persona and made him turn out to be alive for the Clone Wars series and even a cameo in Solo. In fact if Maul had his persona he had later in the series I think it would have made the movie less cool! Now he was an enigma.. who was that man.. What is a Zabraki! It wasn’t answers we needed..it was answers we wanted and that is how you get people hooked! He was the ultimate nobody and that’s what made him scary.

Lucas Arts

bol.com | Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic | Games

To me this was the movie that for the last time we got an uncompromising Lucas. After this he had to tone down Jar Jar because he was so hated, he had to fix this and he had to fix that.. because people were not on board with his vision. While Episode 2 and 3 clearly still had Lucas’ hand to it.. this one to me is the last one that feels like Lucas work… After that I saw more of his signature or that feeling in the Old Republic Stuff. Knights of the Old Republic is one heck of a strong game.. and if I were to point out what Star Wars movie inspired it most.. I would say it is this one.

With Swoop Racing, , the general spaceship design, the political themes and the duality between light and dark in everyone.. this is the movie that lead into that…at least that’s how I see it. Without Knights of the Old Republic I would have never started Roleplaying in the Old Republic game, without having played that I would have still been blogging in dutch for my dutch friends.. I’d probably have given up by now or went for something very different.. so Episode 1 in a way is yet another of those corner stones that got me into blogging.. which shows the movie has a heck of a lot more power than just it’s scenes.

Maybe this Star Wars movie is not as entertaining at face value as some of the others, maybe it lacks a bit more of that lovable cast of rogues the original offered.. I get that yet at the same time it very much knows how iconic these other characters are.. it doesn’t have to try to replace them with the faces of a new generation like the sequels did. It doesn’t try to be better or bigger r than Empire, it tries to be something else and deepens the Star Wars world. It tries to add weight to what has come before and what will come after, much more than blindly supporting the main cast, This movie asks you to think! And that is why I think it is such a great sequel, it doesn’t try to top it.. or repeat that success.. it tries to add something and that to me it more than does. While I would agree that this is not the best Star Wars movie, I think for the world of Star Wars and the expanded universe it just might be the most important one.

What is your favourite Star Wars movie? Do you have a movie you love that the world seems to hate? What is a product that you would just be super positive about? What colour would your lightsaber be in star wars?! (New lore says YOU colour the crystal, though each colour has meaning) let me know some stuff in the comments and let’s get a talk going! I will get back to you as soon as I finished “meditating” and dreaming about having a bleepy bloopy droid for my own! Cause remember my dears! Friendship is Magic, but dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

What if Princess Pinkie Wrote: The Super Mario Bros (1993) Movie

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with a new movies and Series Post!

I really love Bob Hoskins Portrayal of Mario, and the weirdness that is the Super Mario Bros movie. I reviewed it myself and gave it an equally strange grade. The super silly movie is great to watch, but let’s be honest it doesn’t have to do a lot with Mario. Yet Mario is also quite difficult to make a movie about. So if I was given the chance to make a movie..given that I would have to make it in 1993. What would I do?! How would I write the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie?

Brooklyn Brothers

Nintendo Super Mario Super Star Lampje Met Geluid

The Super Mario Movie starts with a story about how Dinosaurs ruled our world.. but then a meteorite struck! Claiming , that instead of wiping them out..it created a second world.. an underground world where dinosaurs continued to evolve. I think this concept might actually be usable after a slight repurpose. This time we will have the story about the meteorite happening but this time the narrator will inform us that it wasn’t just a meteorite that crashed into earth that day, it was a star (or a part of a star). a very special star! A power star! When that star crashed on earth it discovered a world hidden beneath hours.. another realm. The Dinosaurs got themselves trapped in that new world. Then we would get a little mention that these stars.. tend to seek each other out.. or that the star wants to be reunited.

I am using these two options because in more modern Mario incarnations, especially in the RPG’s there are several power stars, variations among each RPG and even in some other games, so ideally I’d use that idea! In 1993 with less Mario titles being out it might have to be pieces of a star. For the sake of argument though we will say that we can use the idea of multiple stars as it may have been adapted later on if the movie wasn’t such a huge flop..or at least borrowed from there. Plus Super Mario RPG was only three years away so perhaps a concept was lying about already!

With that said the next scene would replace the one of Daisy being dropped off at the orphanage. This time we see a boy flush his turtle away..we follow it as it ends up in the sewer. It survived and crawled out of a pipe. We see some mushrooms grow on the damp walls near the pipe. Another star crashes in New York city missing the turtles but hitting the mushroom and the sewer pipe. As the pipe begins to glow.. we see the little turtle and the water it came from being sucked back in the pipe.. as the water flow is reversed. When we zoom in on the pipe we see it now grows green..and the mushrooms going next to it have all gone.

***Not exactly how it would look but this would give you an idea!***

Next we would be introduced to Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo! That’s right we are keeping the original cast. In some cases at least! I won’t take this from Bob Hoskins! The whole plumber skitt would happen but rather than be a conspiracy theorist Luigi is more of a scaredy cat. He saw a report on a meteor strike in New York (x) many years ago. The documentary would say it was covered up and Luigi would be scared of such an incident ever happening again. The boys would get a job but Scarpelli’s men would get there first like in the original stealing the job from the plumbers. This time there would be no digsite. Instead Luigi and Mario and Mario’s girlfriend.. Pauline (instead of Daniella) would talk about losing the job to Scarpelli! To which a strange old man tells he is opening a hotel, in an abandoned building, that has been abandoned ever since that weird event (x) years ago. This professor would kind of like professor E.Gadd and the hotel itself a reference to both Luigi’s Mansion as a series and Hotel Mario. I know it’s 1993 and E.Gadd was not invented yet ..but it will still work as just a plot point if he is just an old strange man.. I just made it a cameo for my fellow time travellers.

Scarpelli and his crew would not take any bigger role in this .. they are just to get Mario and Luigi to another job.. working for an odd ball they would normally refuse. While in the hotel they can hear some strange noises coming from the basement and Luigi acts afraid, thinking it might be ghosts. Mario tells him to shape up as the pair heads to the basement.. They notice there is no water and the only way to turn it on is to enter the sewer grate just outside the soon to be hotel. When they check the pipes they notice the water IS turned on.. but for some reason it is just not flowing. Luigi then discovers the pipe with the water flowing backwards still glowing green. Both look surprised as another star crashes near them, which spooks luigi and he falls into the water.. and gets sucked up in the green pipe. Mario is intrigued and picks up the star, puts it away and rather than jump into the water jumps towards the pipe.. and gets pulled in as well. We hear the iconic warp pipe sound as we get a trippy travel between worlds,

**Gotta have those 90’s neon animations when travelling** **through worlds!**

The Mushroom Kingdom

The next thing Mario sees is a clear blue sky as the pipe spits him out in a body of water in a grassy environment with a brick road close by! The grassy windows xp looking grassy hills nearby seem to have eyes? Then he hears Luigi screaming! Mario runs toward him and sees both Luigi and a tiny little dude with a little Mushroom dude screaming in Panic, played by Verne Troyer.. we will get an actual Toad in an actual Mushroom Kingdom! No Cyberpunk world here! But a world that actually looks like the Mushroom Kingdom. Think Classic Wizard of Oz look! The blue skies.. actual turn out to be blue glowing mushrooms covering some underground cave walls. After Mario slapped Luigi he mans up a bit and realizes Toad is asking for help! His village is under attack.

**I could have spend more time photoshopping this.. but you get the point!**

Mario agrees to help the little guy, grabbing plunger and wrench as they make their way to the village! Now here casting restraints show up! We can’t cgi to many fake toads, unless we oompa loompa it but since toads are skin coloured it might look too fake, so instead we get normal citizens.. but all have either a mushroom cap or some element of mushroom to them! They are attacked by two human goons with some facial prosthetics to give them a more beak-like mouth and on the back of them is a green and red shell! They replace the goons of the original movie so they can be played by the same actors. Looking more inhumane, however this time around in the real world Scarpelli and associates resemble these guys, to give a nice pair of rivals for Mario and Luigi! They claim they are coming to collect (x) coins taxes for King Koopa unless the Princess gives up her Star. Mario thinks he sees Scarpelli snaps and lashed out! Even Luigi helps! In a tavern brawl style with plumber tools our heroes come out victorious.. who by the way are already in their Iconic gear, as is their plumber uniform, no red and yellow dinner jackets… The Koopa Brothers swear that next time they will bring their hammers and will take care of them next time. Toad explains that these are Red and Green Koopa… also known as the Hammer Bros.

Of course rescuing the village would get Mario and Luigi invited by Princess Toadstool which still can be played by Samantha Mathiss. Toad can go as well. The princess baked a cake for them, Mario and Luigi ask for Spaghetti but the Princess doesn’t know what it is! She awards them a Mushroom, that when consumed helps them in their time of need. It will make them stronger. Mario hates mushrooms and Luigi likes them. As Mario gets his Mushroom, something in his pockets glow as well as a gem around princess Toadstools neck! She looks surprised but an explosion draws their attention. Bowser/King Koopa stands there with Red and Green Koopa who wield the SNES super scope that was used as the devolution gun in the original, this time painted black. They shoot out a Bullet Bill with arms that grab Mario and Luigi sending them through a window! Bowser, still played by Dennis Hopper laughs at their screams and says Monkeys! Then he turns to Peach and tells her Game Over Princess!

**I used the goomba suit from the movie as a Boswer Body.. despite my photoshop skills.. that would be neat!**

Quest in Koopa Kingdom

The two brothers land in a desert, trying to make their way back to the palace and during their trip they encounter the Mushroom version of Professor E.Gadd or in 1993 a random scientist. Played by Christopher Lloyd, cause he was the weird scientist back then. He lives out in the desert because his house was haunted but he is working on clearing it out. Luigi tells Mario he knew the hotel was haunted. For rescuing Peach however the professor gives them the jumping shoes from the original, and a hammer as a weapon! In trade of their plumbing tools, which he never saw before.

When the duo gets back to the castle, they find it abandoned except for a hiding Toad, he tells Mario he knows where they took the princess, a dark fort in the Koopa Kingdom, and he saw the enemies left through a pipe! Not far away. The group travels there together and we see them learn to use their new weapons and jumping shoes through a fair few challenges, defeating a few Koopa’s but as they draw closer to the fortress Toad begins to act more shady. Nervously looking around. The heroes don’t notice because that’s how Hollywood works. They make their way through the fortress in a Indiana Jones like fashion, with the castle being a trapped tomb. Singed and injured the two arrive at the end of the tomb where they have to fight Red and Green Koopa, which ends rather anticlimactic! Despite them tossing hammers this time.. using their jumpy shoes Mario and Luigi outmatched them badly. There they find all the coins Koopa stole from the people..and a tied up Mushroom girl… no princess. Toad looks ashamed and tells them he is sorry but the Princess is in another castle

He explains while loving his ruler, he needed the money back as did the other mushroom folks and if King Koopa was defeated his goons would run off with the money. Toad and his girlfriend will bring the money back to the village, Mario should save his Princess now. A montage follows of Mario and Luigi traversing the next fort looking even more hurt! At the end they see King Koopa on the edge of a lava bridge! The princess caged behind him. He reveals that there are seven stars each having a power of their own. His star can make him Immortal! As such he lived for millions of years, so long he could evolve himself.. but he can also move back. He then grows his Spikey shell and bulks up as he breathes fire. Hitting Luigi, down for the count Luigi smells baked mushrooms, his favourite and eats it! This makes him buff up and have a grapple fight with Bowser holding him down.

**Buff Luigi is a thing so no photoshop!**

Luigi tells Mario to use that function on the Hammer and jump over Bowser! Mario jumps over Bowser but thr monster leaps up for a moment, seeming to impale Mario on his spikey shell! A single drop of blood can be seen rolling from Bowsers shell, a shocked Luigi and Peach stare at the shell, then crank a smile! We see Bowser shell again, no more blood rolls across but rather a rainbow light effect! Bowser looks surprises as Luigi leaps back! “Your Star may make you immortal Bowser, Mine makes me invisible” Mario says, he then kicks off from Bowser’s shell and he and Luigi press a button on the bottom of their hammer. It changes into an axe! Bowser pleads for mercy but the two axes chop down the bride as Bowser falls into the lava he had used to warm his Dinosaur Blood. We see his hand come up from the lava one more time.. but to no avail. Bowser is dead.

Epilogue

The Princess is rescued and Bowser’s star floats towards them. Luigi jumps across and boosts to far, stumbling into a room where he finds a white egg with green dots. He asks if it should be tossed in the lava but Peach tells him not too! He star has the power to heal.. so she heals Mario and Luigi , they go back to the Mushroom Kingdom where Mario gives up his star! Peach promises to keep them safe! Mario and Luigi should return to their own world, but that soon she will invite them for a new cake! They find the warp pipe that leads them home being waved goodbye by the Mushroom people and Peach, clutching the Egg. It hatches and also sees Mario and Luigi leave! Peach names the baby, Yoshi.

***Don’t worry little guy Pinkie liked you in the movie! So you can stay as you were!.. Except you are also Bowser Junior now***

One year later appears on screen. Mario is taking his girlfriend Pauline to the Zoo, Luigi is there along with Toad who is wearing a disguise as a kid. Pauline remarks that Mario could have worn something else than his working outfit, he refuses, this is the gear of a Mario brother. He and Luigi Fistbump in front of the Gorilla cave.. the sign shows this Gorilla’s name is Donkey Kong. Toad noticed one of Mario’s boots is untied..as he bends over a Mushroom falls out his pocket, snatched by the Gorilla hand. The screen goes black, metal bars snap and Pauline yells.. we here the Iconic Game start sound of the arcade game play as we enter the credit roll.

And that my friends is how I would have made the Super Mario Bros 1993 movie whilst also setting up a possible Mario Cinematic universe. No actors would be recast with the exception of Koopa’s secretary and King Fungus, but they would be cast as random mushroom city citizens. Everybody wins! How would YOU make the Super Mario Bros Movie (as restricted per the 90’s ) ? Would you go see my Mario Movie (provided that some costumes look a bit better than my photoshops) let me know in the comments while I go do some research for my Kirby in Dreamland adaptation. Because Remember…..Friendship is Magic, but Dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

Pissy Princess Pinkie: Alone In the Dark.. an Uwe Boll Film

Hear ye hear ye! Princess Pinkie is here with a new movie post!

My loyal guest and subjects, it has come to my attention that at times the blogosphere can be a bit sweet! We avoid negative posts, yet at the same time we avoid having overly sweet posts as well! Since I do sometimes really hate things and sometimes REALLY REALLY love things, I made two new columns, the one in the near future to discuss things I blindly adore… and one where we just rant on how bad something is! That can be really fun after all… luckily dear mister Boll can always provide content for the latter.

Boll Bingo!

Video game filmmaker Uwe Boll quits, but still gets the last laugh - Polygon

I am back to watching video game adaptations.. but I now am passing on the very mediocre ones, I am now only taking my anger out on the bottom of the barrel. Because sometimes being negative can be fun as well.. So I created a game called Boll Bingo. A series of ideas I expect from a Uwe Boll movie by now. I have become quite familiar with the abominations that Boll calls “work” . Just like you can recognise Tarintino by his dialogue style, character types and music chocies. This also applies to Mr Boll! God Bless his lack of skill! So there are ten signals that this is a shitty Uwe Boll Movie. These are the points I chose:

1. This Movie will be set in no specific location, and never will be.
2. The movie will feature a skimpily dressed female/and or objectifies women.
3. Fight Choreography will employ a lot of jump cuts and will not make any sense.
4. Stuff happens because the plot needs it to happen rather than a natural progression.
5. This movie is historically rather inaccurate!
6. Some scenes will look extremely ugly and fake… think “Original Sci-Fi Channel Movies
7. The main villain will not make sense.
8. There will be a LOT of bad writing and nonsensical scenes.
9. There will be a guy in it Boll uses for all his movies.
10. It has little to nothing to do with the source material.

Image gallery for Alone in the Dark - FilmAffinity

With these ten points we were well armed to take one of the most notoriously bad Uwe Boll movies ever. Alone in the Dark! Scoring a 2.4 on IMBD, and holding a 11% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.. this is the Uwe Boll movie that not even Uwe Boll fans seem to like…and yes there are Boll fans out there! This movie gets the least amount of love! Which is a good thing for me.. because I HATE … and I mean HATE Uwe Boll’s sense of humor. So perhaps this one will be tolerable for me! Like many of Uwe Boll’s first movies in a series this starts some fairly famous actors in the form of Christian Slater and Tara Reid but also that main villain from the first Blade movie in the form of Stepehn Dorff. That usually doesn’t mean these movies are any good though.. but see why this movie sucks so much! Time for bingo. Let’s find out the score! Oh and speaking of cast Will Sanderson is in this movie! He plays in just about every Uwe Boll Movie so that is one point already! Woop!

The Joy of Horrible Writing

So let’s check point one?! Is the movie set in a location?! No! In traditional Uwe Boll fashion it is set in “the city” and “mines’ where are those mines? Somewhere in the USA , apparently both on helicopter distance AND walking distance from the city! Because set pieces need to happen and helicopters are all cool and military I guess. We also get treated to a ship out in the middle of the ocean, salvaging another ship that gets pilotted back to said city.. as soon as noises get quiet and AFTER the entire staff has been killed…neatly docked at a minor little peer as well! Even in the opening credits.. which are narrated by a very trailer guy sounding voice.. we never get a location. He mentions stuff.. but I am none the wiser. Thanks Mister Boll.. that is some horrible writing already done! Clever though.. this way you can swap between all sorts of sets and string them together by any mode of transport available! Dark Souls World Building for the win!

Point number two is however where we miss a point. The Story follows Christian Slater, playing Edward Carnby and Tara Reid portraying Aline Cedrac two characters that actually are in the game. Carnby grew up in an Orphanage..much like the games and has been infused with a parasitic life form that could turn him into a zombie like creature working for the forces of evil…but that parasite is dead cause he sat in a high voltage box thing when he was a kid. Aline Cedrac instead of being an archaeologist this time is an anthropologist. I have to admit, this is a smart choice as you can bind her more to the location she needed to be bound to. That being said.. she wears a white science coat, a pair of glasses and has her hair tied up. So she looks like a clip-art of a female scientist.

She studied Abkani most of her career and can read their ancient scriptures like it is nothing (But more on that later) .. yet is unable to correctly pronounce Newfoundland..and despite knowing this civilisation died out 10.000 years ago , and she is being chased by monsters released from Abkani tombs, she has NO idea why the Abkani would split a relic in four pieces and hide it on opposites site of the world. So she isn’t the brighest of scientist. To make up for it she does know how to be 100% accurate with an SMG despite probably never ever having held a gun. She has no sex scene with Carnby though.. so instead of a porn character we get a cardboard cutout based on female scientist clipart… A lot better.. but no point for me!

Alone in the Dark (2005) YIFY - Download Movie TORRENT - YTS

Luckily point number 3 is mine indeed best illustrated by the opening sequence. Carnby lands in the USA and the bad-guy who we see put out a kill order on Carnby.. tries really hard to convince us he is a good guy! Yet one of these zombie people that are a big plot point in the movie.. somehow managed to hijack a taxi with no one noticing and he begins ramming Carnby’s taxi. To escape a guy that clearly is trying to kill him at all costs Carnby orders the taxi to drive onto a crowded fish market.. so we can get breaking market stall footage. Edwards car crashes and he orders the taxi driver to allow himself to be rammed by the other taxi.. while Edward escapes.. punches a cop and takes his gun. Which is a revolver..because all cops carry those. It’s powerful as heck because next Edward shoots through a massive block of ice.. sitting on conveyor belts of an Abandoned ice factory.

The guy doesn’t die from being shot in the heart. So Edward decides he is best off punching this guy real hard. They randomly slide each other on these conveyer belts.. at the still abandoned lot, rather than killing him in the shadows the Assassin drags Carnby out in the open.. where there is a spike conveniently placed at the spot where normally a truck would park to be loaded up… but here there is a rusty spike..implying this plant ..filled with ice blocks has not been used in years. So of course Edward impales the bad guy.. which kills him .. and Edward walks off.. without the cop he punched and stole his gun from ever bothering him again. He is dressed in this really specific trench coat as well so it’s not like the cop would not be able to recognise him.. he just decided to let him go. All shots look kinda neat in theory.. but it tells no story at all and does not feel like a natural fight at all.

Thanks for the point Mr Boll!

Guns go Brrrrrrr

Alone in the Dark (2005) | The Bad Movie Marathon

The last scene already illustrates point four is in as well but it gets a lot worse. The monsters of this movie are dark alien looking creatures that can turn invisible and disrupt the light because they emit some sort of emp…emp that only disrupts electrical currents that are far away from it’s source.. like lights on the grids but not flashlights. It would be annoying if the heroes could communicate through so clearly Walkie Talkies.. are too far from their power source so they get disrupted. The blood of these creatures that REALLY look like H.R. Giger’s Iconic Alien are called Zenoe…(such an orginal name) and their blood can cause kids to grow parasites that can brain control them when it is injected into them. When you inject the blood of a Zenoe into your system…when you are the bad guy it works differently however.. then you control the Zeno! To get an adult under control fast.. and turn them into a parasyte zombie, you can also make them swallow a Zenoe larvae which causes the creature to latch on to your spin and brain control you.. within a second after swallowing it.

Alone in the Dark (2005) Review |BasementRejects

So they sound like really powerful creatures yet they have a few weaknesses. They can hurt by certain specific frequencies of light and elements 75 to 79, the latter being gold. Ah they got the atomic number of gold correct! Gold can disrupt their electro communication and will instantly kill them…so of course to shoot them the government developed some sci-fi hi tech bullet which is made out of trapped photons and will a luminescent film. Basically.. weaponized light.. in ultra specific frequencies. Gold Bullets would work.. but that sounds way more expensive right?! The biggest weakness these creatures have however is that they seize to exist at the end of the movie! We get a lot of shoot outs filled with machine guns (that had their power source destroyed yet still work) and one overstylised duke nukem like clip with everyone killing the Zenoe and their zombie humans.. but in the end… a million Zenoe survive…On the surface there are at least a dozen left.. except when the movie is over.. they are all gone. That is one lucky weakness! And plot convenience point in the bag.

Is the movie historically inaccurate?! Yes, the Abkani are classified as a native American tribe, which in many ways they are but Boll more often than once associates Cherokee like artifacts with them, while in actuality they were closer to the Mayan’s and aztecs, and while the McGuffin of the movie does fit that style.. the museum the first half o this movie is set in misses the mark completely… but I guess that makes sense as Aline is not a good scientist. Now I am nitpicky here..but if your movie is about an Abkani artifact and 70% of the movie is about deciphering some Abkani artefact, I’d use actual Abkani script. Boll doesn’t do that, in fact he uses a font so blatantly non native American I really REALLY noticed. As a European we do not get a lot of American history.. but I could tell whatever that script was it was not Abkani. So I googled it to see if it might have been lost to the Annals of time.. but no it’s not. Not a single letter resembles Abkani. The games do a much better job! But who cares about the mystery and the creepiness.. this is Alone in the Dark movies! Guns go Brrrrrr! And when they do… they look ugly as heck! So yay for more points!

What am I watching here?!

Alone in the Dark (2005) - Photo Gallery - IMDb

So you may have noticed I haven’t really told you yet what this movie is about… and that’s not because I did not want to.. but because I do not know. Carnby finds a relic.. and discovers his history is filled with mystery.. while an evil scientist wants to collect all four artifacts.. to open a gateway to a dark realm. He wants to open this gateway because ……….. he found a door I guess?! Carnby goes on a journey to discover he was an experiment and the organisation he once worked for created these alien type things.. except seconds later we see they did not.. they just exist in the dark realm as well. Aline tags along because.. she was there. Yet the best thing is the villain. He needs a coffin to be opened to unleash the Zenoe..but he doesn’t want it opened or the Zenoe released..

He wants the relic piece that is hidden in this sarcophagus..because he needs it to release the Zenoe from that door thing. He also manages to capture one.. despite hiding on a ship to weak to fight them.. cause their blood in his system makes them control them! So with all of them he might be able to rule the world or something?! He never tells his goal.. just that he wants this portal/door opened… which is located in his secret base by the way. Which was build in an ancient Abkani trap thing filled with evil worm things…which is located in a mine somewhere near San Francisco I think. So I guess that is the bad villain point obtained! As I really have no clue what he was about! Like none! Everything contradicts itself.

Game - Movie Review: Alone In The Dark (2005) - Games, Brrraaains & A Head-Banging Life

Are there any other nonsensical scenes?! Yes.. just about everything! There is a war against the Zenoe going on top of the mine.. but it doesnt contribute anything to the story, the events do not change at all from it… AT ALL. But I know guns gotta go BRRRRR because Alone in The Dark is such an action heavy guns go BRRRR kinda franchise. The best scene we get right at the end though. Carnby and Aline need to get into the secret base so an ally blows up a wall for them with a packet of explosives.. they casually stroll away as the package leaves a perfect door shaped hole for them! However mere moments later when the gate to darkness has been opened and a million or so Zenoe come running towards the group to destroy the world.. the rival character takes out a single packet of explosives and throws it and now he blows up seemingly himself and the entire mine! Only Carnby and Aline escaped. The soldier lived as well is later revealed.. but they leave him for dead anyway and the movie doesn’t bring him up again so probably he died.. and the movie ends with Edward and Aline being attacked by a Zenoe.. or seemingly so.. in broad daylight.. the one thing that killed the,. So I guess a point for stupid scenes as well.

GG Mr Boll

Dear Mister Boll, you have really outdone yourself this time.. sure the movie is not as gross and toxicity masculine as your other flicks, but this might be one of the worst written movies I have ever seen… and I have seen Birdemic and the Room… this feels than either of those! There is also NO style to this movie. It’s about a native american tribe yet the main music theme has arab style instruments to it, one combat scene is hyper stylised filled with heavy metal music while the second battle scene is shot like a war movie with yet a whole other style of music. The acting is god awful as well, especially from Tara Reid. She is just there and goes from dork to badass and there is no character there.

Alone in the Dark streaming: where to watch online?

So many scenes could have benefitted from a second take, and there are so many inconsistencies throughout this movie. Aline has a wound that constantly changes position, Edward I am pretty sure has a shape shifting gun, no one notices a museum being shot up, ice is sitting at an abandoned plant! You know Ice melts right Mr Boll?! You know ice doesn’t completely disintegrate from a single revolver bullet right? A sheet of ice would.. but this thing was massive. You know that building a ladder directly next to a pitfall trap isn’t a good idea either right? Also the fact that this pitfall has not been discovered in an active mine or a formerly active mind would beg the question how much work these mine workers actually did.

Alone in the Dark (2005) - Internet Movie Firearms Database - Guns in Movies, TV and Video Games

This is a horrible HORRIBLE movie! It isn’t even so bad it’s good.. it’s more of an enjoyment that something can be so fundamentally wrong! I always claim good and bad is just a matter of opinion, and I stand by that, this in the eyes of the (VERY VERY) drunk beholder might be mindless entertainment.. but you really need to be practically braindead if you think this is a cohesive story. Everything pulls you out of it.. so just for a moment Mister Boll, you made me think that factually bad movies exist! If there is one.. besides Manos Hands of Fate, your movie might be the one! You are the Ed Wood of your generation! Guys if you want to see a disaster without people actually dying go watch this movie! It is complete and utter Bollshit!

Have you ever seen this movie?! What is your “favourite” Uwe Boll movie?! Do you think Uwe Boll will come and beat me up?! Do you know a bad movie you want me to review? Let me know in the comments! Let’s talk a bit because you know! Friendship is Magic! Time for a little princess nap! *Quack* Oyasumi!

The Great Change: A Paradise Restyle

Hear Ye Hear Ye! Princess Pinkie is here with a new post! Her first post in the capacity of supreme regent of the Paradise. Salutations loyal guests and subjects! The time has come! Paradise has evolved from a corporation to a nation! A nation under no god (You can pick one if you so choose, but not a single one is right) and one princess! Located between imagination and reality! Welcome to the new Paradise. So if you are reading this in WordPress Reader, do take a look at our website over on https://pinkiesparadise.com/

Pinkie restyled

As you may know Pinkie is a name for not one, but two entities. The Homo-romantic-demi sexual woman of 34.. I mean 21 years old living in the Netherlands who types and styles this blog, as well as Pinkie the name for the virtual entity and avatar. The one who manages the tropical island of Paradise as it’s manager. The author Pinkie sends the character Pinkie on a quest to find an item that would allow her to reach her Mega-Evolution. You see the virtual Pinkie discovered she was a virtual life form that evolved multiple times and as such she discovered she had.. at the very least… one transformation left. Hopefully being rid of the moth toxins would help her feel better and healthier.. which in turn may help the real Pinkie feel better and healthier… but for that whole story click the link here!

Rubber Duck Pink Unicorn Duck buy at Hollandwinkel.NL

If people here really read my blog, or those who chat with me in real life people would answer one of three animals for my spirit animal. A panda, a unicorn or a duck. I figured that the panda elements are always intrinsically tied to me due to my lack of libido or grasp innuendo. Since a duck model might be too hard to make I chose to go with the only feasible possibility that will probably mean I am one of the very few people who uses a totem animal like this! I chose for the totem .. that is the majestic unicorn duck! Yet something else needed to change. Over the past year or so I have always portrayed Pinkie as the manager that blogs daily and works hard. I had very much trouble letting that image, I needed something a little bit extra. Someone who is not afraid to coast from blogging every now and again… a flavour excuse ..against my morality saying skipping a day is wrong as it were.. it turns that flavour was changing her from a manager into a Princess.

Which brings us to the new model of Pinkie which is displayed here!

***Yay at least virtual me could get a haircut!***

Look at that, aren’t I adorable? As you may see there are several elements to convey all the elements. Let’s first discuss my lovely new dress! It has a cute frock with hearts, and looks quite a bit more regal! I have a gold crown.. but also a silver crown If I want to look a bit more subtle.. you know.. for when I attend a funeral or something. If you hear some cute little pit pats behind you! There is a chance that it is me on my adorable duck feet! Yes I know that will be hard to model in VRoid ..but you’ll never see that part in videos so it doesn’t really matter. There is also duck feathers growing out of me on random places.. but we have found a way to make them all pop out at my diaphragm so it works like kind of a belt.. just below where my corset goes…. the trick is tying the corset so tight I can barely breathe! Another duck element is the cute little duck purse! It is actually a bag of holding so good for all sorts of stuff I need to take out..including power morphers, my magical girl transformation item etc.

The unicorn-horn holds most of my magical powers..but the duck feather pops out there because I am not an equastian unicorn! I am a duck-unicorn. I can fire lasers from it.. like my Mothra power.. but this time rather than use it for sheer destruction I can also turn everything I hit into marshmallows. I have most of my mothra powers. I can fly, am immortal and can create gust of wind.. this time by plucking a feather and tossing it.. it will create a kawaii tornado. The toxic scales are gone though! Instead I can use the magical heart gems on my outfit to heal others.. or make them play nice with me! This is also why violence on Paradise island is not possible at all! Love and peace! I can switch between my forms.. but I really like this one!

This amazing new avatar was made by the great artist Jezzychii! For just about €30,- let’s say $35 dollars I had this full body commision within two weeks after ordering! She is very versatile as well and very soon I will commision another piece with her to get acces to some emotions! If you want to check her out please do at:
https://www.fiverr.com/jezzychii

Redesigning the blog

A new era comes with a new banner. Yet both Sunny and Periwinkle had a bit troublesome designs to use in a banner. Sunny’s design was made in a variant of the software I used to make the first Pinkie. It looked close enough to Kuro and Indigo though to use as their actual avatar. However it gave me a lot of trouble composition, as it was only a face I would always be locked into a banner where everyone was in that pose. Which will become an issue with STAFF if we ever grow. Periwinkle made his character in the days that Chibimaker was no longer playable and found a similar piece of software but it was too simplistic. Which resulted mostly in linework issues. So I downloaded the program called Flashpoint which allows me to play Flashgames still! It indeed had Chibimaker and thus I created Chibmaker counter parts for them. I had one for Sunny already but now I could unify the style of my staff. This is what I came up with in the end.

New Favicon

I wished to incorporate magical girl and tropical elements in the banner. So I chose a backdrop that feels like a tropical sunset.. but added some sparkles and hearts to also make it feel like a magical girl transformation background. I used a new more princessy font for the title and implemented my brand shade of pink #ff89cd Which is also used for the palm trees.I added the staff and myself to the picture as well as the coconuts.. which also represent the reader and I had a banner I could feel happy with! It feels busy… but very on brand. The border around it is a princessy photo frame that will now be used in several other assets to feel as if separate elements in the blog are all part of the same image, yet also separate.

You may also have seen the chibi version of me hiding behind .. me! I decided to bring her back as a character on the blog. Mostly she will feature in Paradise stories but she also will double as a Mascotte that may appear in pictures I make or in general tomfoolery. Maybe she can be featured in some posts from the past! Or overly jokey posts! Oh the possibilities! She does to bonk people on the head with her jester-wand-scepter thing a lot though so she is oftenly in bonk jail! She keeps escaping though and thinking up pranks! I dread the day that she runs of to K and cooks up something really devious!

The frame used in the banner as said will be a recurring element in most assets. Such as the new cocktails/featured images. Cutting out a round shape for cocktails can be a bit of a hassle and these pictures really did not perform well in my new theme. Instead I opted to go for a more stretched variant, with a cocktail in pink as well as the frame. With an icon depicting what kind of content it is like before. This looks a bit more clean and can be saved as JPEGs rather than PNG’s which also saves me on tons of storage space. I am considering making uniquely coloured variants for the staff, with a cocktail of their own.. but I decided to make these achievements. With a custom coloured frame unlocking after say 50 posts, your custom cocktail at 100 posts! It gives the staff something to strive for! I think that should be fun! The icons will be: A SNES controller for gaming content, a movie reel, for movies and series, a smiley geek for geek content, the crunchyroll logo for anime (open for suggestions for another option for that) a pokeball for pokemon and a typewriter for fan fiction. Not much changes in that aspect. The cocktails that will be posted into every category rather than having a rainbow will have no logo and are deemed universal.

**Sweet Sweet, ability to edit in featured thing more easily! Also yay Pink!**

Finally I changed the blog theme to Chronicle, I needed a change up and really liked some features this theme had to offer. Such as highlighted content per category. The ability to use banners of any size and just feeling right for the princessy theme I am now going for. It’s a bit busier than my old theme but it has that “sparkly” feeling for me. Just something new to wear for the next year or so. It still lets me use featured images in the way I want it too but now with stuff zooming and stuff happening. It all feels just a bit more… Pinkie! It doesn’t hurt that this theme can utilize my signature shade of pink either!

Redesigning Paradise

Like I said in my 500th post, content from my end my shift a bit to more lighthearted whimsey. Cartoony.. which applies to my “reviews” as well. I will react to them like a spoiled little princess.. or the sweetest magical girl and look at it from a more raw emotional angle. So think at a sarcastic princess talking about burning down a Uwe Boll movie… or a sweet little girl protecting the childhood memories of a movie that is deemed pretty bad by the internet.. but that she kinda secretly loves. Also a lot more weird “my brain” things where I wonder how pokémon taste and such! For now I have dropped stories like “What Bad Luck, I got reincarnated and now I am a Side Character”. I have Elle’s journey mapped out and one day I might return to it, but it really lacked an audience. Instead I will be doing more stories set in Paradise.. much like how Sunny does, written as stand alone stories..almost comic like. For this very reason I have designed a map of Paradise, which will show you the general layout of Paradise! Which will also be featured in our new About Page. (Pending at the moment of writing)

**The Map of Paradise is handed to you upon checking in..and shows up on that weird tv channel hotels have!**

What doesn’t change though is that we are still welcoming to Staff Members. I post every other day, with Periwinkle having one or two posts every week and the other staff posting incidentally. I will keep looking for STAFF until we basically can consistently put out a post every day of the week again. So mostly in the anime department I am looking for someone who’d like to join the STAFF still, so if you are interested in joining a lovable band of goofs! Feel free to give us a shout! YouTube will be less of a focus for now as my health is recovering, but in time will be implemented more in Paradise. Existing as two sides of the same coin rather than being something separate. Of course Staff members can integrate their other content as well if they wish. I have this dream of people creating content together, all getting a penny of Kofi money or likes in their own way. Everyone is doing their own thing yet doing it together as well. That to me is Paradise.

I am trying to become more active on other peoples blogs again as well and come back to OWLS as soon as the relentless migraine attacks let up. I am pretty active during my daytime but in the evening I get downed pretty hard. So right now I only have half days! My blog comes before OWLS right now.. because to be part of OWLS I need to be able to blog to begin with. So there is that. By all means I should get over this soon though, normally this is a seasonal health thing..but with how weird things have been it all has gone on for much longer. But yes I do plan to be more active in both gamer and anime blogger environments!

Energy is returning to Paradise and I hope to let it show.. both on blogosphere and on the fictional island itself!
I thank you for your hard work reading this posts loyal subjects! I would really appreciate interactions, likes, and of course comments. What do you think of the new theme and look? Do you think Unicorn Duck Princess Pinkie is a better fit for me?! Now I worked hard enough for a princess.. so I shall retire to the royal chambers. Shine on my subjects.. Tata for now. Oyasumi! Oh and did you know I have a new Kofi Banner as well?!