It’s Like That One Game! But With Anime Girls! Pinkie’s First Gameplay Video!

Hello Little Lights! It is one of these again! One of these Blog Posts where I promote my videos! As today my first gameplay Video Released! I am really trying to make YouTube work for me! So I would really appreciate it if you all go take a look and interact with the video a bit! You know be the sunlight so my garden can crow! Thank you guys!

RosenkreuzStilette

In today’s video I will play RozenKreuzStilette , a game developed by Erka:ES and Dark Squid Media! It’s a Doujin Soft , which means the game originally was made more for fun rather than making money out of it! You can buy the game on Steam by clicking on this link or you can just use it to check it out there! But you know what would be a better idea?! If you check it out using my video! Yaaaay! Sugoi-Desu!

Can you help me reach my video like goal of 10 likes?! We are also trying to go for 25 subscribers! Maybe you can help me reach that goal! I would be very grateful! You do not have to click the bell! That is for later! So come check out this game with me and together I am sure we can have a fun time with it! It’s a pretty fun game so be sure to check it out!

What is Next?

So what will I do next? I think I will be uploading 3 or 4 series on my channel! The second I have already decided will be Pokémon.. Pokémon Sweet Version as a Start to be exact. I will be doing a Semi Nuzlocke with it…by which I mean, it will be a Nuzlocke but Pokésweets start with two lives, and each resurrection item I find I toss upon finding it but it can restore a lost life. Why do I do it like that? Mostly because I do not know the Flavour System , compared to the typing system! It will be fun!

Another series I consider uploading is Ducktales on NES ,but I feel that might be something that would be fun as a channel growth reward! Say if we hit 50 or 100 subscribers! So I will probably leave that one waiting for a bit! I feel like playing Dragon Quest IX could be a fun series! I never finished that game and making a video out of it might make me able to complete it! Playing trough a Tales of game is another option for that.

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor content

As a possible 4th extra series I am thinking about doing more of a “talk” video. Where I rank Pokémon, do Top 5 stuff or do some random other stuff such as answering questions, playing a weird browser game or just something that is fun as a one off video! You know a bit of a “see what sticks” kind of approach to content! That seems kind of fun! What would you like to see? Let me know and we will see if I can make a video about that as well! We can always try!

Please help out!

I am really trying to grow both in terms of finding my blogging direction as well as picking up my YouTube project so please help me if you can! Subscribe to my channel, leave a like to a video, or share a video or link with people who might be interested. Every little bit helps! Even retweeting my Twitter posts already helps out a lot! I would just love to interact with people more! Get to know more people and grows as a creator!

Of course any tip or help on how to improve my model, will also be welcome as well as any other stuff! I am chasing a bit of a dream here! And I really want to see it take shape here! So if there is anything you feel might help, even if it’s encouraging comments here on WordPress just show it! It would mean the world to me! Now I am off to start recording my Pokémon content! Shine on my little light lights! Oyasumi!

I didn’t create the Reservoir Dogs game, I’m just dealin’ with it!

Most days on Paradise are quiet. Still relatively new to the island I try to stay out of the coconut’s and other staffers way just diligently cleaning out the pool, occasionally chasing Pinkie away from the staff laundry I just folded and barbecuing behind the small maintenance shed I call home. During the lull of the winter months, I’ve noticed the tourist traffic slow and with the extra time I like to spend quiet nights watching whatever DVDs wash ashore.

The other morning as I was walking about the beach planning my nightly maintenance routine I saw a familiar and beloved DVD case laying in the sand. I rushed over to it, gleefully. Filled with warmth and joy at the sight of one of my favorite movies. I began to clear the sand off the cover and realized it wasn’t what I thought it was.

It was Quentin Tarantino’s cult classic, Reservoir Dogs. For the PlayStation 2.

Developed by Volatile Games, a division of now defunct British developer Blitz Games Studio Limited – most known for their work on other licensed titles like: The Fairly Oddparents, Bratz and Spongebob and other sacks of shit that I’m sure will make its way into my crosshairs at some point.

Published by the quality publisher Eidos Interactive (who have since been taken over by Square Enix) The publisher is well known for their Tomb Raider series.

First things fuckin’ last.

The obvious cash grab doesn’t piss me off much – that is the nature of the beast. It’s not unlike Hollywood these days remaking classic films that never needed a remake in the first place. Rereleasing a movie with a new cast instead of ever actually giving fresh, younger writers a chance to show the world their stories. Hollywood feels that the world doesn’t need a new Charlie Kaufman. It needs a remake of Pride And Prejudice starring The Rock or something.

The abhorrent targeting system doesn’t bother me much considering I’ve lived on PS2 planet for quite awhile now and have fully disconnected from the much smoother controls of more modern consoles and games. So I can handle bad third person shooter targeting systems. I grew up with them. They practically raised me. It’s like that meme about some shithead witch telling a lion about magic and then the old magic lion saying something about he was there when it was written. Was that a Narnia meme? I thought I had it around here, somewhere. Anyways, thats like my usual work day – working with a bunch of strapping young lads and ladies fresh out of high school with their whole lives ahead of them and then theres me … an old, miserable magic lion…alas… where was I?

Ah there it is.

It only pisses me off a little that if you happened to never see the movie before playing the game you’d have no fucking idea what’s going on. Considering it offers little to no backstory and just assumes that everyone in the world has already seen the movie. Even as you play through the movie plot the unbelievably bad voice re-enacting iconic scenes is even more distracting than the poorly drawn characters that look nothing like the regular actors.

Generally the story consists of a 44 second clip of a massive plot point that isn’t elaborated on at all – using the incredibly small story window between playable chapters to only mimic legendary scenes from the film. On top of all of this Mr. White’s character is voice acted by that dude that played the fire chief in the Denis Leary show, “Rescue Me”. And once I placed it I just couldn’t not hear it.

This guy.

Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy? Or are you gonna bite?

So alright, I’ll cut to the chase. The thing that pissed me off most about this game? The story can be completed in about three hours. That drives me bananas. Imagine it’s 2006 and you just paid $55 for this game brand new and finished it within three or fours? I hate that shit.

Rule number one about making a video game based on a movie. Make it at least two hours longer than the movie itself you, morons.

Alright so with that off my chest the good part about this game? Is the Tarantino soundtrack. Some classic gems per usual. One I will showcase a little bit later on. The game has a really simple play style meter – between professional and psychopath. The more violent you are the more psychotic your rating and that can alter the ending a bit.

Ultimately the game destroys all of the glorious subtleties of the film and just turns it into a run and gun blood bath that is short, repetitive and exploitive.

Pee In The Pool

So of course – begging the outside world for attention and interaction has essentially failed yet again (even though I stubbornly refuse to give up) I did receive a little feed back on a poll I asked the harsh, cruelly tight lipped internet.

While I also got sympathy love from Kuro and Pinkie as per usual. 😂

All in all the worst game I have played for the blog so far, a game that lacks any sort of charm, thoughtfulness or respect for its original creator and rabid fan base. – Periwinkle.

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients (In order of how enjoyable.)

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

It is here! My First YouTube Video! Pinkie Ningennoga goes Live!

Hello my little lights! It is time today for a shameless self plug! I have expanded beyond just WordPress and finally started my life as a VTuber. Well the non streaming variant of that at least. I started making YouTube Videos as a Virtual presence in pursuit of my dream! Yesterday my first post went live! So today I celebrate by taking a day off from content creation and just making you aware of my video!

So tell us about this “Video” You Made

Why certainly, Snary me, pretending to be my readers! It isn’t anything all that special really! Just an introduction video! No me playing any games yet! I have noticed that a few VTubers I adore do this character sheet kind of thing, filling in one of those “friendship book pages” of old as it where! The one you let all your friends sign in which they would tell their favourite food, their favourite colour and stuff! It does that whole thing. Not only do my superior peers do that , it will also help people get a good grasp of me as a creator and the retro vibe might actually fit my plans really really well! So i just went for it! It was Sugoi to make! The moment I finally made my Thumbnail felt so liberating. I finally took a step towards my dream!

I made the video using nothing but free software. The only thing I do use that is paid is Photoshop but that ws a gift from a friend. All the images I made can be made in Gimp or any free software that allows you to create transparent background images and use different layers, whatever you prefer. For the Video Editing Software I use a program called Da Vinci Resolve , which despite a few annoying flaws I have really taken a shine through as my editing journey started. It has so much features and it is relatively light to run as well! As long as I can get used to the fact that Audio and Movie tracks are always synchronized I will do a lot better with my videos in the future as well! It has a professional version and a free version, but the options on the free version are amazing already! I can green screen, I can colour correct do some pretty amazing things I haven’t even begun to discover yet!

My model is made with a program called VRoid Studio. Which is a free Program that is available on Steam! It allows you to 3d draw on a puppet and make it your own! With a whole website of extra tools being available on VRoid Hub. You can design your own clothes or buy one.. I did a combination! I found a free one I liked as a basis and drew my own signature outfit onto it! While it took me a fair while to get this done I spend relatively little time wading through tutorials. Overall I might have watched about an hour or so. Probably less! I had a lot of fun experimenting. It isn’t flawless and I already updated my model to version 1.1 after my last first two videos, but that is the beauty of this software, by seeing your model in motion you get a better idea where it’s flaws are. And you can fix it more natural.. just by being active and creating! That is a style that I really REALLY like to learn with! So while you may see it in the video you can also watch me develop as I get into this more and more and I think that tells a story as well! I want to document that journey so that is mentioned in this video as well.

So it’s just a video about you?! Done Clunkily?!

Wow myself making these titles! Rude! Though also not entirely untrue! I had some struggles with making the first video. The problem lies in the last two programs I use, 3Tene to make my model move. Which is another great tool! It is like Facerig, but it works for free! No water marks and allows for way easier customisation. It allows you to register your self moving the character and allows for a lot of poses and actions, and it comes with a lot of fun anime effects! The problem though! It supports a mouth that moves either based on your webcam OR Your Microphone. However My voice isn’t reliable due to my muscle issues and it is something I really hate so I use text to Speech! Which brings a lot of problems in the mix! Luckily I have found that if I use my text to speech program,do the edit in Resolve, I can use the recorder function of my phone to record that .. and then I add it to my capture software to fairly okay results!

Then there is a problem in overlaying the mute video and the actual words being said in the main project as well! For this I use a lot of timers. I record dead air with the Audio recorder making an audible noise as I start the actual audio track. Then when I record my avatar I make her look up or down quickly on the moment i head the click and then I try to sync up my time by counting the seconds of dead air and matching it up! I think 3tene does allow me to record audio as well but I am not sure! I will figure that out as I go! I will make it work! I need to find a way to add cuts though! That will make things a bit easier! Maybe add in some cool effect or change camera perspective at certain intervals. That is just stuff I need to tinker with though! The text to speech program I use is called Balabolka by the way! It is also whatever other text to speech things you have installed, but is very easy to use! Pretty good!

Okay so just plug the video already!

Patience young Padawan! I worked hard on this video, I’d say somewhere between 15 and 20 hours went into making this (though that does include a fair bit of concept creating time as well). I had a blast making this and I want people to know where it comes from! It will be another bit of humble beginnings! But that does mean I really will look to you all to help me out here! Please watch the video and like it! I would love to see you subscribe but I won’t force you to do that! But if you like this post, I hope you will leave a like on the video as well! It may just help make my character become a blip on the radar! I am pretty sure most of you will have a YouTube account anyway! Thank you in advance and for those who aren’t watching this in wordpress reader: Here is the video!

For those who are reading this in reader! It would be appreciated if you would log into my site to at least give it a watch! I hope you will like my YouTube Debut and thanks for reading! Shine on my little Lights!

Oyasumi!

Pinkie Plays : Final Fantasy VI – Return of the Dark Sorcerer Episode 4 – Poison Pokemon and Pigs

This is little lights! The make or break episode to see if I will put a lot of time in this game or not!  Last week I absolutely adored what was going on, after a rough start!   I am playing Final Fantasy VI .. remade with characters from all over Geek Media.  From Fighting Raditz to having Cloud Crossdress to get Shang Tsung some Booze!   It’s all possible in this game!  Yet when the writers have to create their own dialogue.. that is not referential it all feels flat a bit! Now on an adventure with nothing but original characters I wonder.. Will the game be as good as it is when Cloud is there? Or will it fall flat on its face?! Find out today with me!

Familiar but Edgier

As Ronan washes around the shore I find nothing on the map but a little Orphanage, I make my way there after defeating a few slimes with Parasols!  A kid makes a comment about stranger danger, which is pretty accurate since Ronan is a half naked man talking to strange kids!  However a nun tells me a story about Arc.. a boy who became an Onion Knight after he saw a thief kill his mother.. or he thought he did , in fact that man just robbed her and was a good guy!  He feels sorry for the kid while his partner killed him in cold blood!  I assume this blue haired bandit will play the role of our Locke..  The kid being an Onion Knight suspect will have the role of Gau. I am not sure yet but the story is a bit mediocre just as I expected.  It’s good enough but it can’t hold a candle to the original … all the names of locations and characters feel so.. “My first Fantasy story” .. but okay let’s see where this goes I am kind of intrigued!  Time to get into the Imperial base! 

The first bit of the base plays remarkably similar to the original. Kefka is here and he is laying siege to a castle, as things seem grim a new hero shows up. Normally it’s Cyan but this time it is the Magic Knight “Avalon” I assume he will play like Celes with runic but so far I can’t play him yet. He is incredibly edgy though keeping talking about reaping and how his blade thirsts for blood. Seriously he sounds like a 13 year old’s first roleplay character. He has a pretty great battle theme though!  Not long after his introduction we are introduced to his mechanic. He can deal his total health in damage to an enemy and maybe inflict damage to an enemy. It’s neat enough, his design reminds me of Lancer from Fate.. and I do think most lancers look the same at least the one from Fate Zero and Fate Stay.. I am not sure if they are different people or the same.. but you know that look!  He kills his boss .. although barely and it’s time to go back to Ronan again.

General Leo has been replaced with… General Leo so once again this story is super duper similar to the original. However that Thief is in the background!  He seems to replace Shadow! His name is Oboro.. kind of a gothish name.. .. so whoever wrote this part of the story must be some massive kind of edgelord.. I’ll ask Indigo if he wrote it! I am half surprised the battle music isn’t “My Chemical Romance” Unlike I what I had expected he doesn’t play like Locke though he actually does play like Shadow as well, except he has a lot more stuff to throw and it is all a bit more Naruto like! He has a bunch of Ninja Scrolls that give all sorts of neat effects and a healthy amount of Shuriken from the get go!  So that is nice! The Kefka fight isn’t that hard and a Ninja Scroll deals with the troops I face while he gets away.. but Kefka manages to poison the river! It sucks to be at Mist castle right now!

Valkyries and Pokémon

We move back to Avalon, hoping to find something of a fun reference,  somewhere but so far this scene has been pretty bone dry. I always wondered how Kefka’s poison worked.. he put so little in and did not get poisoned himself yet the castle is completely wiped out!   Avalaon spouts more edgy crap about praying to the dragon god and being the dragon’s right claw that will get revenge and all that.. and this really just feels needlessly edgy and there is no fun to be had here… I know this scene probably lends itself to humor less as we see a man’s wife and kid die.. but common.. give me a snippet! Mamma wants a joke or a cool screenshot to share on Twitter.. but no Mamma is starving .. like a moth with no mouth! (Those are  a thing by the way).  I finally get one on the battlefield as Ronan and Avalon meet up! It’s a Valkyrie!?!

Okay I did not expect that.. it came out of nowhere and she looks strange but hey I will take it! The music here is awesome and some more Mega-Drive’ish tunes!  It really conveys “edgelord going ham!”  The Valkyrie fighting the people of the dragon culture though?!  I think that is a bit off a miss! Let’s kill her for being a not so amazing thing in this game! It’s a fight that is a bit harder than I had anticipated but eventually the Valkyrie goes  down. We steal a bunch of Magitek armor and after a bit of Magitek fighting we clear the camp and we find out the only way to go to Fraust is by going through some sort of haunted forest. Time to suplex a train! I love suplexing trains!  As a Kaijuman that is something we do in our spare time.. but Gidora’s son keeps beating me! Gamera’s as well. .really getting some lift out of that shell of his.On our way to the Dreaded Forrest I only encounter some spikey generic alienish creature that seems out of Metroid or something .. we can just use the fight command to win… but everything changes as soon as we hit the forest.. the first fight is super hard.. but then I see a Gengar!  Ooooh this can be good!

The forest itself offers a fair bit of a challenge but I discover that Ronan’s Kamehameha Wave is really good for dealing with the Undead so we make good progress. I encounter two creatures staring at a lake .  one says he wants to see the Ocean, the other says he wants to see a pig watching the ocean. That’s .. random!  We encounter a few elite soldiers , who then turn into zombies  who then turn into dust and we spot a little Onion Knight in the forest boarding the Skull Train.. a guy named Reaper says he will only let us pass if we give him our souls when we die.. I refuse and have to do the area all over again.. not because I die I just got teleported out. Frick! Eventually we agree and this is the moment the random soldier in my party decides to sacrifice his own life…Wait.. you mean to say the guy with no abilities ISN”T a mainstay party member.. I am so shocked by his death! That’s right Moths speak Sarcasmn!

The Skull Train

Reaper takes the spot of the generic Knight and now we have to board the soul train! Reaper has to promise to leave Avalon’s family alone..and it turns out he is like a Dragon Born .. seriously.. Indigo did you make this character?!  The Ghost train normally has you rolling around with several ghosties which can make minced meat of the fights to come in trade for their existence.. that doesn’t happen here. Reaper tags along all the way and he has some interesting abilities but he lacks the quick kills! Which results in a much slower train experience!  Being the expert that I am however I progress more and more!  Fighting some ghosts that look like a pair of sheets and some demony gluttony demons that look quite horrible! I actually do like these designs and while not referential this is a segment is quite enjoyable so far! The music is just okay here though! Funny though is that the characters are aware of the ominous music and seem  to use it to indicate they are in danger. See even when you don’t use famous stuff you can be weird and funny! 

I make my way up to a save point which comes rather later, and I fully expect to almost be up to the final boss battle! Little did I suspect that I had to face a mini boss before! It’s Arc the Onion Knight, who attacks me! Avalaon however has a peculiar ability in which he deals his total HP in damage to an enemy and might cast a random debuff..  the debuff he casts this time is DOOM. This puts the Onion Knight on a clock and  the fight is pretty easy after that.  Arc does take down Ronan though .. after the fight so the little guy gets away. While the fight was easy I am left on relatively low HP and while I go to use a shelter on the save spot I just past.. my safe spot turns into the wreck of the Ralph icon! That’s a thing! Why does my mind work the way it does and try to figure out how that would be a shelter in Real life?!

The rest of the train lasts pretty long, I eat some ghostly food, I get healed, I face the Onion Knight again, I take damage, I move trough passengers carts, I discover a Mini Boss that guards an Angelic Pendant that is a REALLY good Item for Avalon as it gives him Regen.. I fight the Onion Knight again.. I encounter Finn and Jake from Super Adventure Time.. that’s right they are in a random cart having what they claim to be a near death Experience. There is so much content in this train and it’s pretty awesome.. there is just one thing lacking! Another Save Point! We get ANOTHER fight with the Onion Knight and this one is even easier.. because it’s not a fight.. our Party Member beats him up for us. However then the ghost of his mother appears and tells the boy the truth this man feels regret for the role in her demise yada yada yada, please take care of my boy Blabla. She then trades her soul with the reaper for her boys safety and he brings her to the afterlife… now  that’s cute and all and I guess the guy gets points or something.. but you are literally ON A TRAIN TO THE AFTERLIFE! Why would she need to be TAKEN there when she is going there anyway… well who knows! 

The Young Boy takes Reapers spot in the party and we prepare for the final boss… but I am spent… and I get rewarded with a Save Point! We save the game and will continue next time. While flawed this arc had some interesting events that are actually very different from the original game. The problem here is that it does feel to edgy! When it’s not a fun refference it’s all doom and gloom and the tones clash so hard for me! Even though in fairness I did not even really mind this arc on it’s own! I like he inclusion of an Onion Knight and Avalanon’s mechanics are interesting and their backstories at least have weight to to them… but is that good enough in a game like this?! I wonder! It is a great game.. but some of the writing is just to edgy or nonsensical for me to fall in love wih this version.  I DO wanna find out what happened to Raditz though. Maybe i’ll just play a little bit longer after the first arc.. maybe not.. we will cross that bridge when we get there. Time to crawl into Ralph again.. and see you all next time.

The Entire Return of the Dark Sorcerer Series

Are You Ice Cold Counter Terrorist Special Agent Jack Bauer? Take The Quiz To Find Out!

As A Pool Boy, I often have to wade through pool water, when the heating is broken, or late at night to reclaim what Island Guests, have lost! As a Result I am often very cold… Ice Cold! Are You Ice Cold Counter Terrorist Special Agent Jack Bauer? Take The Quiz To Find Out!Chances are you aren’t. I had to find out that I wasn’t special agent Jack Bauer myself the hard way. The hardest way one person can find out. By playing 24: The Game.

Anyone who has ever said that life is short has never played 24: The Game. Based on the hugely successful American television program, 24 the game takes place in between the TV shows third and fourth season. Filling in plot holes, adding additional context and content for hardcore fans. That kind of thing.

For those that have never watched the show – myself included (I was well aware of the show while it was on I just didn’t have a desire to watch Keifer Sutherland bust up terrorist scum back then) the show follows special agent Jack Bauer during his work day which apparently lasts twenty four hours? Because Terrorists never clock out.

Anyways, he shoots people, interrogates and tortures them like some sort of one man Guantanamo Bay. All to save Los Angeles or the Liberty Bell or whatever. You get the idea.

24: The Game picks up between the third and fourth seasons of the show but it really doesn’t matter. It’s not rocket science. It’s pretty easy to figure out what is happening upon starting the game. It’s a third person shooter, with all sorts of puzzles, driving and interrogation mini games. The “fun” police work I guess, considering that all the mini games are much more fun then the actual missions of running around screaming at people to put their hands up and killing them anyways.

24 was Developed by SCE Studio Cambridge – later restructured as Guerilla Cambridge most known for its MediEvil series (and shut down in 2017) during 2005.

Guerilla Cambridge

It was published by 2k Games for the PlayStation 2 and released February 27th 2006. Essentially the game starts as Jack Bauer and his counter terrorism unit foils a plot to assassinate the Vice President. One thing leads to another and you learn a bit more about the man behind all of these nefarious plans and his connection to Jack Bauer in the past. I won’t really go into it because I’d hate to spoil a fifteen year old video game based on a twenty year old show for you.

And besides. That’s not why you’re here! You’re here for the quiz! The one thing that unites all internet users regardless of race, religion, gender, sexuality or political affiliation. We all want to know more about ourselves and I think that’s admirable. Even cute. Anyways the, “ARE YOU ICE COLD COUNTER TERRORIST SPECIAL AGENT JACK BAUER” quiz will be divided into three parts.

1.) The Basics. This is where a lot of expert quiz makers put basic questions. Yes, that was obnoxious sarcasm.

2.) Physical Fitness. This is the part of the quiz where we’ll gauge if you, the quiz taker, are as physically gifted as Special Agent Jack Bauer.

And finally my favorite section: THE QUOTES. On a scale from one to five we’ll access how much or how little you agree or disagree with a Jack Bauer quote (or a, ‘Bauerism’ as I like to refer to them by)

But before we begin the quiz I do have a new regular section to announce called, “PEE IN THE POOL”. Generally in theory it will consist of me choosing a subject – maybe asking a question about it to vast internet and everyone answering and all of us being amazed and blown away by how similar we really all are especially when sharing a love for something.

Which leads me to my current bone to pick with society as a whole. Twitter specifically. In the week leading up to and during writing this entry I canvassed the harsh terrains of Twitter and Instagram in the search for hardcore 24 fans. Feeling inadequate at fairly explaining the protagonist’s badassery I figured I’d hand the mic over to some true Jack Bauer fans and let them sound off and shut all the haters up for good.

But it never happened. Despite asking nicely, coercion, threats and begging no one would respond to my tweets. Some sympathy likes and retweets here and there but the response was clear. No one gives a shit about Perwinkle The Pool Boy and/or the world has moved on from Jack Bauer.

Desperation

But I can’t accept that.

It’s much more believable no one answered any of my Tweets because I was coming off like a weird lunatic. Which is true – I was. BUT what I find completely unbelievable is that the country would turn its back on a true American hero so callously. Today – Jack Bauer – tomorrow – George Washington??

The only two people who get any sort of recognition for interacting with my fever pitch tweeting looking for super fans is, Anthony Cox (@AJC2424) and Pinkie herself, who let me know quite proudly that she has over six billion plushed unicorns. So thank you, Anthony and Pinkie.

Welcome to the, Are You Ice Cold Counter Terrorist Special Agent Jack Bauer? QUIZ

Every “Yes” answer during the first section will add 5 Points each in your total score.

THE BASICS

Let’s get basic.

1.) Is your name Jack Bauer?

2.) Do you have a steely cold stare that can hesitate even the most volatile of criminals?

3.) Does your day start with a countdown clock?

4.) Are you a Federal Agent in any capacity?

5.) Has the Canadian actor, Keifer Sutherland ever portrayed you in a television series or movie?

Let’s get physical.

Part 2: Physical Fitness

Again, Every “Yes” answer during the first section will add 5 Points each in your total score.

1.) Are you Canada’s sexiest export?

2.) Can you sprint for an unlimited amount of time?

3.) Does your voice sound like old country road gravel in a glass jar of warm whiskey?

4.) Do you yell the word, “Dammit!” 80-90 times a day?

5.) Can you carry all of America on your back so it can sleep soundly safe from it’s almost infinite amount of enemies?

You missed a couple quotes… Bartlett.

On a sliding scale from 1-5 – choose the number based on how much you relate or, “feel” this quote. 5 being the most possible relation – you have possibly said this before or will soon. You feel this quote to the bone.

Quotes:

1.) “I’m federal agent Jack Bauer and this is the longest day of my life.”

2.) “I have killed two people since midnight, I haven’t slept in over 24 hours. So maybe… maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now.”

3.) “If you hurt my daughter I will kill you!”

4.) “You probably don’t think I could force this towel down your throat, but trust me I can. All the way. Except that I’d hold onto this little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest the towel, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. Most people probably take about a week to die. It’s very painful.”

5.) “Shut up, stupid! You just fired at a federal agent!”

6.) “I’m done talking with you, you understand me? You’ve read my file. The first thing I’m going to do is take out your right eye, and then I’m gonna move over and take out your left, and then I’m going to cut you. I’m gonna keep cutting you until you give me the information that I need. Do you understand me? So for the last time, where is the nerve gas?”

7.) “Our government has no integrity!”

8.) “By order of the President of The United States, PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!”

9.) “So help me God I will kill you, and you will stay dead this time.”

10.) “By the time I’m finished with you, you’re gonna wish you felt this good again.”

SCORECARD:

0-25 Jack Bauer Points: You are basically a terrorist. You don’t believe in freedom, America or the long arm of the law. You are a criminal.

25-50 Jack Bauer Points: You are a well adjusted adult. Much more well adjusted then the guy that spent a week writing a blog post about 24

50-99: You are basically a walking Kid Rock song. You drink Liberty from a fountain of kick ass. You sew American flags together to make it heavier in case you need to use them as a weapon. You are Paul Revere on steroids.

100: You are Keifer Sutherland.

Make sure to post your points in the comments below or hit me up @buffaloretro on Twitter to participate in the next mind numbingly dumb Periwinkle Pool Boy post

AND – before I go: I was going to start to list a bit of ingredients as we go on in honor of the games we’ve covered. This list of ingredients should be able to make you the perfect Periwinkle’s Low Hanging Fruit Punch.

Ingredients so far

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

Until next time – thank you to Pinkie and all of the other writers for letting me pollute their space – I’ve read articles by everyone else on the resort staff and they are all very talented writers. I think they just felt bad for me and let me aboard. But I’ll take the sympathy. 😘 – Perwinkle

Pinkie Plays: Moemon Emerald Extreme Randomiser Nuzlocke Episode 6: It’s Froppy!

Hello again my little Lights, welcome back to a new Installment of Moemon Emerald Extreme Randomiser Nuzlocke. After the silly death of Souji next week I am really hoping I can get through a week without losing Moe’s! We got a pretty good team right now as we slowly will make our way to Flannery. We will get a fair few number of encounters,but a lot of trainer battles.. and an egg as well!  So today anything might happen!

The Team

Ace: Miku the Jigglypuff (Lvl 25)  Crush Claw, Camouflage, Flail, Super Sonic
Ability: Wonder Guard (Can Only be hit by Super Effective Moves)
2nd: Usagi the (C)Raichu (Lvl 24) Thunderpunch, Spark, Stockpile  Shockwave
Ability: Effect Spore (Can leave a Status Effect on Contact)
3th Murmur the Porygon 2 (Lvl 24)  Earthquake, Hyper Fang, Cut and Morning Sun
Ability: Poison Point (Can Poison when physically hit)
4th Ika-Chan the Tentacruel (Lvl 23)  Hydro Cannon, Hydro Pump, Bubble Rain Dance
Ability: Huge Power (Doubles Physical Attack)
5th Asuka the Fearow (Lvl 23) Sky Aerial Ace, Headbutt, Foresight, Milk Drink
Ability: Stench (Has a 10% Flinch Chance and encounters less wild Pokemon)
6th Hisoka the Mr. Mime (lvl 23) Heat Wave, Barrier, Light Screen, Pyscho Boost
Ability: Hustle (Physical moves are 50% more powerful but miss 20% of the time) 

Screams of Joy 

To continue our journey something has to learn Rock Smash.. will I take less Moe and Chi-Chi as a slave with me?!  Do I teach someone Rock Smash what I will do?!  Since Tentacruel has 3 water moves I decide to teach Ika-Chan  Rock Smash for now..it will be a useless move in combat.. but so is bubble right now.. and I really want to get everyone to their levels! The move deleter is pretty far away still .. but heck I might find a Kyogre Moe for me to catch anyone so let’s live a  little! And then it is encounter time! I think! Wait! I first need to get the HM for Strength in Verdanturf town! I encounter a few trainers but with an actually versatile team I don’t get. Hisoka learns Solar Beam.. because.. why not! I am not coming back to this town any time soon!  I decide to hold teaching strength for now but Murmur looks like she might be a HM slave! I do encounter a very cute Tsundere Granbull on my way back though! So it’s all worth it!

Time to head up North! Ika smashes some rocks and behind we find a journalist who wants to challenge me and interview me. Her camera man uses a Magikarp and she uses a Solrock and they are easily defeated. The next trainer has a single Celebi.. who falls to Asuka! I believed I could walk into the sandstorm a bit to get an encounter.. but apparently without the goggles I can’t even take a single step! I remember being able to walk here but it being a hassle without the goggles.. Maybe I have been hallucinating again!   Guess that happens from staring at all those Lava Lamps. Guess it is to route 112! This route has great memories for me! I found my first shiny ever here! A shiny Machop! What will my encounter be this time?! …EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! It’s a Bulbasaur! I need to  catch this! Sorry Murmur you will be booted off the team! I got my favourite starter! EEEEEEEEEE! It took me almost all my great balls but EEEEEEEEEE! Tme to skip some grinding and to add Froppy to my party!

Creepers!

After grinding Froppy has learned Strength (as she had no coverage and physical strength is mixed) she knows Giga Drain, Vine Whip and Synthesis.  Well actually he.. bit these are Moe so that’s debatable!  Next it is onto the Fiery Path to catch another Moe! What will it be.. will it be just as awesome?! It isn’t .. It’s an Onix.. that is not great ..but I did pick up a metal coat!  I name it Izumi and send it to the box for now!  I also get a static Rock Smash encounter .. A Magnemite that I call Yuhachigo.. it goes to the box as well!   But hey I have Moe in reserve now! Things are looking up for Pinkie!  Then we are on to the most confusing thing for a Pokémon Nuzlocke of these games! What looks like a new route is actually route 112 again! Hoenn has so much of these moments! Super confusing! 

I encountered a super strange Moe in the form of Lileep! I don’t even think it’s an anime girl! I am not sure what it is! I shared the picture with you! Tell me what you think it is! I know Ika-chan sure thought .. “I need to get the Distortion World out of here!” We beat the Lileep and some other trainers, before I discovered a house called Old Lady’s Rest Stop… Uhm…. is this a bathroom for old ladies?! No! This is a house where an old lady asks 10 year old girls to spend the night with her.. and keeps asking for you to stay over more! ….The heck is wrong with this world! I now get why Team Galactic wants to erase existence! This is NOT okay! I don’t know this old lady! Well let’s quickly move on! Rest my tiny bones?! It feels like she wants to collect them and build stuff with it or something! Creepy!

Next I encounter the weirdest trainer class I’ve ever seen.. Ghostwriter!  I never heard about it! I can’t even find info about it! The heck is going on in this area. a ghostwriter and a bone collecting lady!  I teach Ika-Chan Muddywater instead of Hydro Pump.. it is slightly more accurate and even though it is less powerful, the accuracy drop  is great. in Nuzlockes and it has a fair bit more PP which can be nice in stally battles! The next route is covered in Ash completely which doesn’t make the bone collector and the ghost writer less creepy! My encounter is a Venomoth .. which is okayish I guess! It is named Neppy and sent to the box! Now to get through this route! I remember normally disliking it because it has a lot of encounters popping up everywhere! I  see an item but I have to  get through a double battle to get it!  It actually has a Spinda, the thing you get too much on this route!

Through the Ashes

I decided to teach Usagi Night Shade, just so she has something else than electric moves to hit enemies with, it isn’t great but she hasn’t learned anything in over 20 levels of leveling! She needs something to deal with enemies as the electric type is resisted by a fair amount of my enemies! This fight turns out to be super scary though!  The trainer has an Armaldo that knows Destiny Bond.. a move that  kills you . .if you knock out the enemy that used it.. and Ika–Chan will definitely knock  them out!  Saving my baby Usagi chan, I decide to swap in  Asuka .. and she almost gets killed by a Rock Tomb. We scrape by but trigger another battle, which is witteling us down more and more!  The item I chased turns out to be a Fluffy Tail.. while that sounds cute.. it basically means you throw the tail of another creature in the battle.. so enemies attack it.. and you can run away.

Now I am running out of potions ..so I stop by a house hoping it’s another  bone collecting lady that allows me to rest.. but no .. this is a guy that is a glass blower.. he gives me a big bag to fill with Ash in order so he can make me glass tools! He huffs and puffs! .. Wait.. he is the Big Bad Wolf!!! EEEEEK!  Horror!  Well let’s collect come ash then if he ever attacks me I can throw it in his eyes!  I decide to lead Froppy since she is bulky and has plenty of moves to use! Maybe with that Moe I can reach the next town! I keep getting attacked by Ninjas though! Seriously what’s wrong with this world.. I mean they call themselves Botanists.. (again where can you find that trainer class?!)  but they clearly are ninja’s.. Chuunin though!

Everything goes a bit downhill after that. Miku gets burned, Ika-Chan gets paralysed, Usagi gets poisoned, Asuka is in red health,  and Hisoka gets hit by a Shadow Ball by A Magmar.. and puts on 2hp! We narrowly escaped death there!   As a result levels begin to grow a bit more skewed. Froppy is my strongest Moe now followed by Miku! I have to start using Repels more to make my way through this route!  We sneak by a few trainers and enter Fallarbor town! I heal everyone up and go back to finish off all the remaining trainers! I always feel compelled to do that!  A trainer class called “servant”  has A MAchoke that looks like she might be a Yare Yare Daze girl.. she also has a pretty sexy  Poliwrath.. well except for the boxing gloves!  

I then explore town a bit as I know there is a TM for Roar on a villager, as well as the move Dig.. these both get randomised. Roar gets randomised to… Roar… Eh?! Frizzle Sticks!  Dig gets randomised to Sketch! Son of a.. Skitty!  I have had the worst TM  luck!  I also decide to stock up on potions again! Since the store is randomised  I check for interesting items but there are none! Just some X items that boost a stat! They can be neat but with a Randomiser of moves they aren’t all that reliable for defence at least! So I decide to only use them if I pick them up from the ground. While investigating here I discover that some kind of professor  that has gone missing. Ah… you know you realise that PoliceMan is a trainer class right? Though with our luck they have been reclassed to Burglar.. or something obscure like “Bubble-Tea-Vendor or Something” .  So when you can’t count on the  police I guess you carry the 10 year with a bunch of magical girls! That actually makes a lot more sense now that I say it out loud! I am an immortal Moth after all!  Okay  guess I will be a good girl one more time .. but after that , no more chores! I am here to do the Pokémon League!

The Entire Moemon Emerald Nuzlocke Series

Please Support Paradise!

Pinkie Thinks & Sings: A Reflection and Song About Pursuing Content Creator Happiness

Hello little lights, today I wanted to talk to you about things that have been going on in my life. I failed to do a few uploads because I was busy chasing new projects.  This post is a little update on how I am doing, What I am trying to do, and how I am trying to achieve it. It will go trough a few struggles I have been going trough with myself, the community and WordPress,  as well as showing I am still working on realising my dream.

I am a nobody

This week, I got seriously burned on social media!  I try to get more into it, playing these games people do where people assess you or interact with your platform, as well as I have tried reacting to people!  However, due to my health being so frail over the past two weeks I have also been sleeping a lot and I barely manage to create my own content, let alone visit all your amazing content.  I had little focus because I am medicated into being super groggy or in a lot of pain due to my muscles going quite volatile on me!  Seeing people interact with each other on twitter usually cheers me up! Yet in a bad head space I realised, while people love to play these games with each other it is extremely rare for people to interact with me. Which is totally fair as I haven’t been always as sociable as I like either, but people don’t seem to really interact with those “who do you think Pinkie is”  kind of posts. From my bad headspace, I took that the wrong way and created a super toxic situation for myself convincing nobody cared for me. 

I know this to be untrue because my health updates got met with lots of love and sympathy, but you know that little devil on my shoulder explained that as, “they don’t care about you, they are just being polite and care about being deemed polite, see if everything is fine and dandy no one wants to interact with you”. I know I am the odd duck in the anime community, I might not even be truly a part of the anime community as that is not my main content but I always believed by simply being a geek, I’d also belong. Maybe I was wrong with that, maybe anime is truly the only things that binds us and by toning my anime content down I have estranged myself from you all. I need to be more social but for some reason my head is so full of stuff, Yet I struggle! Where do I belong?! I do not know and the past two weeks made me question everything. I do know you all are important to me even if I can’t always show it though!  So maybe that goes around the same way, I can not assume you do not care, that is the devil talking! But he is making me really sick lately!  I barely was able to get out of bed anymore!

I am me

Being confronted with my physical weakness and my sickness these past two weeks made me feel glum, the devil was there to devalue you all… or more accurately, devalue myself in correlation to how I would like you guys to see me. I want to do more anime content, but back pains are always present, just watching something doesn’t take away my pain, I  need to be engaged in a game or a project to shut it of properly.  Even then I just have a laptop, if I need to lay down and just watch something because the pain is to much, the laptop needs to be set up for that and the tv offers an easier solution.  If I want to watch anime I constantly need to lean over to make screen captures… and I can’t.. I am pain… my heart has been kind of poorly functioning properly.. it’s weak. Oftenly giving me much lower blood pressure and then I feel sick like a dog,  translating in my head can be overwhelming then.  So all in all, anime hasn’t been my most suited media right now!  Plus then there is my dream.

 My writing isn’t the most accepted. It is a lot quirkier, than some of my more successful colleagues out there. This on the one hand gives me validation, I am unique so I have a right to exist. I am known in the blogosphere as well and I love that.  Yet the devil keeps questioning on how sincere we all are. I know a lot of you are sincere in their interactions towards me, but how many would truly notice if I got to sick to blog and missed a week? I can not answer that question and I will never be able to!  How many would send me a message with “Are you well?” out of their own accord?! I sometimes wonder about that, the devil says not a lot.. but cheerful little moth self tells me, perhaps those people just do not want to bother you, they just think they are bloggers to you after all. I can never know how you think about me, unless directly told.. but that also means that I can not adapt me to be someone that is liked more, even if directly told, what about the silent ones! They have a voice as well! So I never can answer what is the best me for you all… so I just have to be the me that I truly am and take the pain when it’s not good enough and revel in the joy for when it is!   That is also why I am doing let’s plays and Nuzlockes now! I have a lot of fun playing those!  If that interests people that is great , if it doesn’t, at least I had fun! So while I know my new content isn’t as well received as some other posts.. it is something I have to do to be able to get up in the morning.

I am more than a Blogger

I have told several times that this blog was made because I do not have a strong voice, I can talk okay, but I can’t talk constantly, sometimes I just can’t bring out words and only whisper. I always saw that as a quality that will keep me off YouTube forever, and started my blog to be the “voice free” version of that. Yet as I grow I realise that this medium has its limitations, while I do love blogging a part of me feels as if my dream isn’t being fulfilled. Imagine asking your parents for a dog, but all you get is a Hamster.   While you love Fluffy Whiskerson with whole your heart and are super grateful to your parents for giving you this great addition in your live, it doesn’t take away that need deep inside you to play fetch with something, go on walks with a loyal quadruped that comes back to you when you call it’s name. Blogging is my hamster. I treasure it deeply.. but some things I want to do as a creator I can not do as a blogger. While my limitations on YouTube are ample, I lack proper materials for video editing, I lack the voice and the self promoting skills to make that work will probably prevent me from ever growing the size I am on here I feel as if I need to pursue it still as a bucket list thing of sorts.

I am a gamer that happens to like anime but due to my connection to OWLS I started fitting anime content in my blogging content as well, Pokémon Gaming got expanded as well as I realised more content made me happier. However I am now at a point where it has “stranded” me. Not in terms of content creation but in turns of development. Most of my readers are tied together by anime, and while I do enjoy anime, I do not think that is what binds me to you guys! Due to my content selection, I feel what binds “us” is WordPress. We share this amazing platform to show our ideas and we give each other time because we show up in each others Reader. That is fine because it connects us through a joined hobby! Writing! And I love you all for being there for me and showing off your amazing blogs! Yet I am like the little Mermaid here! 

Pinkie’s Remade Song!

I wrote a cover of the Disney Song to express my feelings! I Include the instrumental version of Part of your World that follows the text in a YouTube video, if you need to follow the rythm of my text please visit my website outside of reader!

Look at my blog, isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think my content is complete?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl
Girl who has everything?

Look at this blog, stories untold
How content can one website  hold?
Looking around here you’d think
Sure, she’s got everything

I’ve got Follows and Likes A Plenty!
I’ve got achievements and Views Galore!
You like loyal readers?!
I’ve got twenty!

I do care!
I love it!
But want More!

I wanna be where the people are!  
I wanna see, Wanna see them simping!
Following me simply for
What was the reason?!
Oh, Me!

While my blog made me go really far,
Vids are required to tell my stories!

Walking you trough my…
what was my focus?!
Games!

Up where they talk!
Where content plays!
Where I really hope to find a new space!
Creating more me!
Limitless Free!

My YouTube World!

What would I give! If I could live!
Out as my true self!
What would I pay, to spend a day
As the true me!

I need to vent, please understand,
I am not calling you out dear reader!

But this creator, needs to update her…
true content!

I am ready to spread my wings and Soar!
Find new Interactions,

And find some answers!
Can I succeed or will i get..
what’s the word?
BURNED!

When it’s my turn?!
Can I be Loved! Or Will I just end up getting Shoved?!

I need to grow!
Out of this low!

As the true me!

Who am I?!

Do not mistake this for me quitting blogging! I am merely expanding! I will not quit nor even take a break! However, I am in the pursuit of Happiness for myself and that might mean that I will one day rather work on a YouTube Video than post a blog! The other day I might photoshop over some scenes in an iconic song and post a blog 7 hours later than I normally would! I am overwhelmed, I am not doing to great mentally and physically.. but those limitations are just as much a part of me than my dreams. Yes I would love to give you content each day.. but if my heart can’t handle it, if I am in to much pain, that is a part of me I have to accept just as much as that part that says blogging alone isn’t enough! That is alright!I can’t force my heart to beat correctly for the sake of content as much I want. I can’t make my muscles relax on days anime content is supposed to released and I can’t always smile the sorrows away sometimes I just need to accept my lesser parts as well. And YouTube offers a more creative outlet to forget those pains.

Monday February 1st I will start with a long project of going to hospitals! Medicine, Psychology and later on even surgery will all be part of this and I do not know how it will effect me! I might have very rotten days where I need to stay in bed, or stay at the Hospital which is far away for me. It is so I can be my true self however, and live a much healthier, happy live, in that spirit I decided to already start taking a bit more liberty with content creation schedules! Do stick with me though becauseI have plenty of stuff left to tell!

As for you my little lights, I have seen a lot of bloggers talking about the importance of consistency to let your blog grow and be successful! Be sure to never let that overshadow yourself however! You are the most important element to your blog! Without you , there is no blog or no content what so ever. So if you want to try something else to see if it makes you happy, be it podcasts, YouTube or heck even pro-gaming or making memes or whatever. Don’t be afraid to chase a dream! Your dreams can be petty! Yes I would love a simp of my own which sounds petty but there are reasons I assure you! However that is to long of a story to still tell! By doing a lot of research I found a good text to speech program so I can get my words out there, I found a free 3d model program, free editing software and even free face rigging software! It will not get me to where I want, but it will help me start the chase! I am more than then what I create! I am also what I dream about and I am also defined by the things I can not do! Only by accepting it all will I find my true happy place and my true Paradise!

Introducing Periwinkle the Poolboy: Cold Winter

Hello guys I am Periwinkle! A new STAFF Member! I am the Poolboy on Paradise Island! I was really eager to get started. So instead of letting the manager introduce me I will introduce myself. Occasionally when I’m not busy skimming the pool, watching from afar as everyone else has fun and socializes at the tiki bar I go off into my little shed and play twenty year old video games. On some special nights when all the chlorine has been dutifully poured and the pool filters hum majestically free of any rogue speedo bottoms I will write about the games I play and what secret wisdom they hold. 

In this post we cover the 2005 first person shooter and delve into spy stereotypes. 

Cold Winter is a 2005 first person shooter developed by Swordfish Studios and published by Vivendi Universal Games for the PlayStation 2.

Swordfish Studios was a British based video game developer best known for the game, World Championship Rugby. They would later be acquired by Vivendi Universal Games (who also published Cold Winter)

Vivendi was the publisher of the legendary, Half Life 2 and later merged with Activision creating the well known publisher, Activision Blizzard. 

Cold Winter despite its unbelievably lame name is a delight. The best James Bond game that James Bond isn’t in on the PlayStation 2. Your main character is disavowed MI6 spy, Andrew Sterling. You are being held prisoner in a Chinese prison when you are saved by another agent for another spy syndicate that (OFCOURSE 🙄) needs your services. 

My biggest gripe with this game is not its ten-years-too-late-brit-rave-scene soundtrack. It’s not it’s R3 to zoom controls (which is a minor pain in the ass) or it’s over-the-top limb and decapitation physics that are so ridiculous you have to laugh. 

The largest problem I have with the game is it’s over used “Spy gets disavowed/goes rogue” trope. Used over and over again in nearly every major spy movie I’ve ever seen. Being born in the west during the Cold War, I have watched a fuck ton of James Bond and other spy films. All of them feature the rogue agent plot. ALL.OF.THEM. They also all feature the more fun typical espionage cliches and stereotypes engrained in me so deeply now I will never be able to unlearn them. 

Like for example: Every western spy is a perfect shot, wears a tuxedo, USES HIS REAL NAME, **probably** has a drinking problem (??) and can and will seduce everyone in the room. 

On the flip side of the coin every stereotype for counter intelligence is generally: unbelievably stunning Soviet femme fatale that is just as dangerous as she is sultry OR scarred up giant guy henchmen protecting Elon Musk style weirdos. 

As far as stereotypes are concerned these are all pretty good. But are they true? I have no idea. I don’t know any spies and if I did they would be horrible at their jobs…because…well, they’re spies. 

So… luckily for us, dear reader, there is a wealth of education and wisdom at our fingertips. Historians that have dedicated their entire lives to document every move of shadowy figures throughout history all to be used in a blog post about the 2005 video game, Cold Winter. It’s all come down to this, folks. 

Here are some famous spies from Historylists.org

Sidney Reilley

Sidney Reilley or the, “Gentleman Spy” was said to inspire Ian Fleming for his character, James Bond. Known to live an extravagant lifestyle he was eventually caught by the Soviet regime and executed. Sounds like this guy invented the spy stereotype.

Mata Hari

A Dutch exotic dancer and suspected German spy during World War 1. She was ultimately exposed by the French and executed by firing squad in Paris. Later on evidence would suggest that Mata Hari was actually more of a double agent playing both sides. She was 41. Beautiful, dangerous, exotic. Boom. Spy stereotype confirmed. 

Now I could see you start to say, “Well, Periwinkle… That was only two spies from one website. You are horrible at research and you have wasted everyones time.” And yeah – I’d have to agree with you. I’m not a good researcher and chances are this article did waste your time. BUT have we not learned something today?

1.) Don’t be a spy – you’ll probably die. 

Go dust off your ps2 and pick up Cold Winter. It’s a fun, well crafted game. Above average for sure. Unlike my writing. – Periwinkle

Pinkie Plays: Final Fantas VI – Return of the Dark Sorcerer Episode 3 : Old Love

Hello Little Lights, I once more return to one of the more bizarre Rom Hacks I have played. My favourite Final Fantasy got transformed into a bizarre mix of RPG and Anime references. So far we recruited Cloud Strife, fought enemies from Dragon Quest and Disgaea and in the last episode we fought against Predator, Vega (from Street Fighter)  and of course Raditz! The heightened difficulty might make this a bit troublesome though! Let’s see how our adventures go this time and if we will go for a fourth instalment!.

It’s Boring Again

I just left from a fairly challenging dungeon so I expect the game to go lenient on us, yet the first enemy of the new area is a Mind Flayer, which takes a lot of violence to take down, two ki blasts, a poison nova and and Blade Beam from Cloud!  Why don’t I mention Aurora! Didn’t see anything? No she did not because she got turned into a pig! Now this is a change from the status Toad.. but I would think a Toad is a bigger punishment?! So why a pig?! Doesn’t  Gi Nattak, the creator of this Rom Hack know that frogs are better than pigs?! Except as pets!   Bulbasaur is a Frog and Tepig is a pig… and guess which one is the better starter! I do like the little light the mind flayer has on top of it’s staff though! I feed the party pig a Tulaberry and it turns back into Aurora.

I decided to level everyone up to at least level 12 and kind of make a promise to myself that in each new area i will gain one level for everyone… However I do spend very long grinding and getting this done!  However the result is pretty good! Aurora learns a spell that should petrify but for now seems to insta kill at the cost of costing a lot of Mana and Ronan learns a new combo.. as I try to master this new combo I  spend a fairly long time to familiarise myself with it, the shoulder buttons followed by up down seems simple but for some reason I kept messing it up! After what seems like a long time for search an early level however everyone is the level I want  them to be and I can enter the lair of the Crimson Blades and speak to Astral.

Unfortunately for me Astral is not the spirit thing from Yu-Gi-Oh ZeXal, I didn’t really expect it to be.. but that was the only Astral I know and with how this game has been going I would not even be surprised to fight the Robot Micheal Jackson from Moonwalker so who knows!  It’s just some fruity old wizard who upsets Aurora by talking about Pandora’s box though!  She got controlled by the slave crown and all that.. but once again I find myself a bit disinterested when the story takes itself so seriously. I know this stuff happens in the original game and I like it there but here it is just told much less adequately which comes from the lesser sound design 

Bonetrousle on a Rivier… with Rick James

This game shines best when it is being out of the box and here the creators are once more stumbled by their own ambition. Cloud begins talking about how someone important to him was killed by the Empire and that is kind of interesting.. is it Aerith?!  Locke had a sleeping beauty of his own … will Aerith be that person..does that mean Tifa will be Celes?!  The scene is ruined though by his second line “I joined the Crimson Blades to avenge “That Person” .. that’s not how you talk about people that are important to you! You address them with a proper pronoun.. I might be nagging here.. but this is annoying to me.. it just feels like a fake line to keep us in suspense. It feels written. FF VI was so organic.

I decide to let Aurora join the rebels without much issue and the river scene is next, for some reason the trees are blue  and the rocks are green.. it does feel nice and otherworldly and Ronin plays like a bunch of Moogles. He can inverse (shift the enemy to a backrow)  or cast Miracle which I think is a group heal but I am not fully sure what it does!  Choosing my directions I assume the choices will differ from the original so I go wild and pick! I do find some treasure underway but nothing all THAT special! The music here though  is killer! It has this Sega Genesis Vibe to it that I really really like! See this game is at it’s best when it is like this! I make my way down the river fully expecting a hard boss battle. I spare Aurora from using her magic!  So she can nuke the boss which normally is Ultros… but this time it’s… RICK JAMES?!!

No just kidding,  it’s Ultros.. whose saying he is Rick James! That’s ..random?!  Ultros does look a bit different though all orange like and more defined.. like in later editions. Bonetrousle plays as the boss theme! What the heck am I in for?! Turns out it’s nothing special! Ultros is a bit of a push over! It does spout a lot of referential stuff though. Boondock Saints, Lord of the Rings and much more!  He even calls people out on their class which is kinda cool!  Then the whole Not-Sabin gets separated from the group bit and that will lead to what normally is the Cyan meet.  Or I could play as Cloud and meet what would be Celes.  Thirdly I can play the main party and go back and go Fraust… that one I will save for last! ..I guess I will go Cloud’s adventure first! I assume this will lead to meeting Tifa. She seems to fill Celes role in more ways than one! 

Shape Shifters

So for the first part of Cloud’s Story I am going to have to do that weird item trading thing that happens in Final Fantasy 6.. however this time random NPCs are replaced with characters throughout gaming history. Shang Tsung wants a drink for example..why?! Not sure!  He fills no role but they edited the sprite to look like him! It just gets better after that though! Cloud buys a Silk Dress.. seeming very eager to buy it too!  When the sales woman asks him if it is for his girlfriend he just says.. yeah  something like that! Oooh this is going to be good! Little did I know it then.. but what follow would be a sequence of events so good I could not tear myself away!  So I am all writing this after  I stopped playing at this point! The goal here was simple.. find a merchant that gives you a Hourwatch,Give that Shang Tsungs grandson for access to another part of town, by the silk dress Cloud is known for.. a guard meanwhile has lost at cards and will let you on if you beat the guy who took it from him. From there on out you can go to the inn, beat a shady merchant for some rum and give that to Shang Tsung who gives you a riddle towards a secret entrance..

However there is so much more in town, the love returns, random houses have completely customised sprites such as the I am Error Guy from Legend of Zelda II.  He looks like a 16 bit rendition of the original who said it while it would have been way easier to just let another guy say it , the reference would have landed anyway.  There are little things like this everywhere. In the secret base Cloud transforms into his crossdressing form and he can investigate the enemy base. Inside there is a room for playing children. Much like normal..BUT, this time there is a Chrono Trigger pet in the room,  there is this gameboy creature that is a reference I do not get and there is a Yoshi doll on the table. Non of it has a function but it all moves and is interactable with. Then you find the Dungeons and my suspicion turns out to be true!  Tifa indeed does take the role of Celes!

Gameplay wise however she is a combination of Sabin and Setzer and Celes’s Magic. Tifa can cast a few good White Mage spells, such as Protect, Shell and Cure as well as some ice magic. She also can punch twice with both her weapons equipped. However Tifa also has Reels.. her Limit Break ability makes an appearance in this game so  the character feels sooooo much like Tifa. Get three boxing gloves in a row and you get Beat Rush as an attack, get three slimes in a row and you get Water Kick..  get a non matching combination and you get Lucky rabbitt a weak heal that also casts Esuna on the entire party clearing them of any negative effect. Tifa is really powerful in this game and I really like playing as her.  While her dialogue is a bit stale when it comes to seeing Cloud, they barely know each other in  this world, and she wonders why he cross dresses. You have to rescue some other prisoners before you leave and the key the enemy drops is the boss key from the legend of zelda. It’s not on screen for more than two seconds yet the original item was painstakingly replaced with a new item . Kudos .  During all of these events various Final Fantasy VII music plays. I love being a gamer!

The Trip to Fraust

After escaping town you’d think we would be just about done with the awesomeness, but no, we get two random Crimson Blades travelling with us. One is called Gus.. and the other.. I forgot his name already.. something like Winston. Winch.. Winny! It’s getting late and I got sucked in so I forgot to take a proper screenshot of his name!  Let’s call them Good Guy Biggs and Wedge for convenience sake!  GG Biggs has  the ability Mimic, which  allows him to Mimic whatever party member goes before him.. although at a bit lower power… this is awesome! It means I can cast Cloud’s Limit Break .. TWICE.. Tifa’s Reels.. Twice.. and well GG Wedge is a dragoon so he can leap up and come down.. and GG Biggs can copy that as well.  It feels so delicious!  Do I risk it all on the slots?! Those sure are my most powerful moves but there is risk involved, if I pull if off though I totally decimate the field and I love it.  It feels a lot easier to get pairs than with Setzer as well, I miss about 1 in three times I think  Which means that fighting with Reels is about as effective as attacking normally, with Reels more focussing on burst damage and normal attacking on reliability.

The final boss of the chapter is the iconic Guard Scorpion, the final  boss from Final Fantasy VII , while it’s appropriate boss theme plays as well. But that’s not all, it’s being pilotted by classical final fantasy monster Tonberry… it’s so hard to notice but my friend pointed it out to me while we were discussing how awesome this is!  Suddenly that Dragoon Jump ability is super useful because the Guard Scorpion targets people for it’s more powerful attacks.  Jump.. kind of works like fly in Pokémon so imagine seeing your enemy use Solar Beam on you and then you choose Fly.. dodging the Solar Beam next  turn. I felt nostalgic seeing those attacks being rendered in 16 bit.. and after that false start I had a blast with the gameplay session I had.  When this game is paying tribute to stuff it is amazing! Cloud and Tifa have a cute interaction before leaving and now I have to pick if I will follow Ronan’s story or Aurora’s. I will go with Ronan’s story next and that will be our next episode!

That episode will be an important one as well. For now I have established that the content that Gi Nattak makes to highlight our amazing geeky history is amazing.. but the story content they create themselves.. is much less captivating. If I enjoy Ronan’s story I might play this game until it gets too hard for me to progress (I know I will hit that point)  if I do not like it I will play the game up to the Esper Transformation and remember the amazing refferences fondly… but I will move on to a new project cancelling the show after a season finale as it were.. soon we will find out…but not today!

All Posts in this Series!

Pinkie Plays: Moemon Emerald Extreme Randomiser Nuzlocke Episode 5 – Hisoka

Hello again little lights we are already at the fifth installment of our Moemon Emerald Extreme Randomiser Nuzlocke, and while the series isn’t going well in terms of views I am having a blast playing through the game like this! A blast AND a lot of pain I have made a weird twist with my neck and I am in a lot of pain right now. So this week you might see a lot of Moemon content as I focus on getting my YouTube started and getting rid of my pain and focussing on my health a bit as well.

The Team

Like with the past few episodes let’s begin with a recap of the current team! That team is unfortunately is one member short!  Right now our five precious moe’s are:

Ace: Miku the Jigglypuff (Lvl 22)  Crush Claw, Camouflage, Flail, Super Sonic
Ability: Wonder Guard (Can Only be hit by Super Effective Moves)
2nd: Usagi the (C)Raichu (Lvl 21) Thunderpunch, Spark, Stockpile  Shockwave
Ability: Effect Spore (Can leave a Status Effect on Contact)
3th Murmur the Porygon 2 (Lvl 20)  Earthquake, Hyper Fang, Cut and Morning Sun
Ability: Poison Point (Can Poison when physically hit)
4th Souji the Corphish (Lvl 20) Rock Tomb, Pain Split, Pay Day, Octazooka
Ability: Rock Head (Does not take Recoil Damage)
5th Asuka the Fearow (Lvl 20) Sky Aerial Ace, Headbutt, Foresight, Milk Drink
Ability: Stench (Has a 10% Flinch Chance and encounters less wild Pokemon)

Punching Oneself To Death

After the funeral, last episode, our journey begins with a trip to Slateport.. I forgot I could fish in that ocean and right now we can really use a good encounter! I am hoping for something like an Aron or maybe a Scyther. Oh boy.. I can’t wait to see what I will get…..it’s a WEEDLE! Reee!  That’s no Bueno!  I named it Chi-Chi and decided to grind it up until it becomes a Beedrill so I can see her ability. It has Hustle.. which isn’t bad for a Beedrill to have as it does boost Physical attack.. but in trade for a chance to miss… which isn’t great in a Nuzlocke! I might level it more if my other encounters will be worse though! Chi-Chi is carrying a Move though .. it’s Petal Dance.. which is a pretty powerful grass type move.. but since it locks you into attacking for multiple turns it is terrible for a Nuzlocke! Well.. Muk!  Time to move to Mauville then.

On our way to Mauville I got into a simple trainer encounter with a guy having a Dugtrio!  I switch Souji in and he gets confused by Swagger.  I fully believe I would live one hit and Dugtrio goes for Dig.. so I fully believe I can switch out.. then Souji oneshots itself. What the heck!?!  How did that happen.. he had a little bit of damage on him but he did way over half his own health in damage! That should not be possible! Well.. to the Death Box..I guess we will pick up Ika-Chan the Tentacruel. I begin grinding him up..this should at least give me some bulk. But grinding is going to take a while! I make a special rule  that catch up grinding  has no Permadeath.. I can level a Moe back up to the level of the party with Speed Up on, so I don’t lose hours and hours. It will also help with me not forming a bond with the new thing yet, so you don’t miss out on that. Souji had a sober funeral..  mostly because I already left a corpse on this route.. second because his insurance doesn’t cover self imposed demises. Luckily it hit itself so hard it was partially in  the ground already!

At the final level of the grind Ika-Chan learns Raindance which helps boost their water moves ..and now we are good to go again! Let’s defeat the final trainers up this route and head to Mauville city and get an encounter!  The bulkiness of Tentacruel allows for a much more progress then I had anticipated. Asuka and Ika both level up to level 22 catching up to the party fairly easily. So far I am succeeding at keeping everyone’s level close together but if other Nuzlockes are an indication that might change soon enough.

A Pink Clown

I reached Mauville which means I have to roflstomp Wally.. he uses the Super cool name Bug Catcher Landon to try and intimidate me.. but the boy only has a level 16 Kadabra. I would love to make it an event in the city..but yeah . .I literally only use one move to defeat my second rival! Now that the path to the gym is open to me.. I guess.. I will go hunt for Pokémon to fill the team or something.. bye Wally! Next I have an encounter at route 117, a fishing encounter at route 118. I could try to get a coin case and check what the Slot Machine Pokémon are.. and I can walk up north where I fight a family and maybe get an item. I go route 118 first for the fishing encounter because it is least likely to be good, due to being underleveled and of course I stumble in a double battle accidentally.  It forces me to swap in the Immortal Jigglypuff as Usagi is in danger but I win the fight fairly easily and Miku wants to learn Moonlight! No you don’t get a healing move! You can’t be hit!  Next fight!

Usagi washes the trainers that are on the route and my fishing encounter is a Togetic.. however since Togekiss doesn’t exist yet.. that Pokémon isn’t very good! I name it Lisanna and put it in the pc. It doesn’t have great stats and I am facing legendaries pretty much constantly, it’s ability Swarm powers up bug type moves which makes it even less usable. I can’t walk around with you..though I might carry it as Death Fodder if need be.  Let’s see if route 117 is better for me!  A Mister Mime Shows up there.. after I accidentally hit the speed up button instead of the sprint button and dash into the grass. Not bad! I swap in Miku and let her use Flail which now holds no power to reliably weaken my opponent. It breaks a lot of Pokéballs but in the end a great ball manages to capture it. It is a Mr. Mime indeed as the gender is male as well. I decide to name it Hisoka.. I mean a male pink hair clown with a feminine body.. pretty much spot on! 

One tedious training montage later, we travel north to fight the Winstrates! Hisoka’s moveset isn’t great , with Trash and Heat Wave as it’s offensive moves! It does possess both the barriers so that is a good thing at least but I would like if it would at least get one stab attacking move, so I can protect my dearest Miku! Let’s see how we fare against the Winstrate Family! After that we can challenge the gym! The Winstrates offer the perfect opportunity for Hisoka to catch up with the rest of the group! He even learns Psycho Boost… a move Gardevoir had as well!  While I do outlevel the Winstrates by a significant amount.. they are no slouches. Arcanine, Metagross, Aggron.  This family has some high quality Moe!  Since the battle is a gauntlet of four trainers, Hisoka almost ends up dying but I swap in Miku to heal him up a bit! Swapping him back in to Heatwave the Metagross as Miku can’t touch it. We win but we spend a lot of those Soda Pops we won on the beach to not have any losses here! On the way back I pick up a second Amulet coin, which I give to Hisoka.
With his barriers he is a good lead after all!

The Third Gym

This gym is made for double battle… but this time I wised up. I sneaked around trainers to talk to them and challenge them to solo battles. After all in Solo battles you have a lot more sense of control! The first gym trainer easily gets beaten. She uses a Weedle that gets finished by Ika-Chan and Hisoka uses Heatwave on a Pineco! The poor thing.. it looked so cute hiding in it’s armor and now it’s dead! The second trainer has a Milotic and an Anorith. Usagi and Murmur take care of those.. but not before I make a swapping error and Usagi takes some unneeded damage!  This forces me to retreat from the gym and heal up for the next part! With my team being as it is I am beginning to notice I can make a lot more  tactical swaps and no longer do I have to settle for the next best thing. T he second to last gym trainer uses an adorable Chinchou but I forgot to screenshot it.. and an Entei is the Moe of choice for the last trainer. For the first time in all my Gym battles I am sweeping these… do note that route 110 was littered with Jirachi and Articuno and since Articuno might learn Freeze Dry and Jirachi can use one shot moves as well.. I killed them all.. so I am a tad overleveled now .. I think

The fight with Watson is next.. or as he would like to be called Bug Catcher Scarlett!
The First Pokémon he sends out is a level 20 Victreebel! I lead with Miku! I already lost one Pokémon this episode, I am not going to make it two… especially since I am out of good encounters!  Umara can be useful late but for now she and Chi-Chi the beedrill are usable to me.. let alone Lisanna the Togetic. They can have their Cheetos party in Box 1. Miku defeats Victreebel who has Aeroblast.. Lugia’s Signature move and we go into the second round. Jolteon versus Murmur. My Porygon2 has an Earthquake so Jolteon should not be  too much of a problem… Jolteon outspeeds and deals 25% damage still and Porygon2 is fairly bulky! That would have killed Ika and Asuka. His next Pokémon is a Lugia.. cowardly I swap in Miku! Which is a good thing I did because that too carries Psycho-Boost! My guess is that it got randomised into the “confusion” move slot and that is why so many low level Psychic Pokémon know that move. The Final Pokémon is a level 24 Whismur.. I guess I wasn’t that over leveled after all!  I just got lucky in a gym for once! I decided to let my precious Usagi finish the pink thing!

The fight is done and I get a badge and a brand new move.. this time it’s ……..NIGHTSHADE?!  That would have been useful for the past few levels but I am JUST at the point where the move isn’t all that reliable anymore! It is a move that does set damage so it would be good when my type coverage was worse.  I am not having much luck with these types of moves.  I am content we got an easy gym win though! Right now we are about on par with the gym leader’s Ace which means a team of six should mean we are about the perfect level when we face Flannery. If we don’t encounter too many legendaries OR low level bugs! Maybe next week we can go about with having no funerals. With three deaths we are nearing the halfway point of our journey.. the fight against my father will most likely be easier.. his Slaking will be randomised.. but at the same time.. all it takes is one Huge Power Slaking with a fighting move and all my Moe can die! I feel alive! I am enjoying this journey…and I like how random it all feels!… I just need to control myself a bit more..for greater success! Now if you excuse me I have some lamps to stare at!

The Entire Moemon Nuzlocke Series