Tag: Being myself

The Power of Me: My Voice on My Blog

Hello Island Guests today I am talking about a topic that is very important to me. A motivator a life goal yet something on the internet that is both trickier and easier than in real life. Being  yourself. Today I want to talk to you about some lessons I learned while blogging, that I apply. Chosen routes that lead to distress and choices I made I am happy about. Like Mario said… let’s go.

My Moe Voice

The first thing you need to do to be yourself is pick out a style that works for yourself.  These will be a framework for your posts but will be able to tell you when you are a bit off track. For example I think I have a fairly light hearted style where I cute things up a bit. Yet originally I tried that a bit to much, like I was writing as a character, and while Pinkie still is an exaggerated version of my truest self for entertainment purposes she isn’t anything I am not.. except for pink haired or donned with twin spirals.  Personalities work to draw in readers quicker, as people like flamboyant characters  more in general take a look at YouTube. However all YouTubers who do personas regularly burn out and I noticed on WordPress this is much the same. 

When I originally started this blog I dreamed of YouTube fame, but my lack of vocal control and my friends help of time to support led into me going to WordPress, however I took those same expectations with me. My gimmick on YouTube would not work on WordPress so I deluded myself into dreams of grandeur.. I threw my voice to reach that and burned out.
While that cutesie thing is a part of me, I am actually not an anime character so I can not constantly write like one. I wanted to be genuine.. and I think that inspiration is important to be on WordPress. Blogging unlike YouTube I think works best if you are yourself. If we want to simply be entertained, I’d imagine we all go to YouTube.. WordPress is more about community, so while I have my natural Moe elements, I really should not exaggerate it Desu Nee Nyan!?

Talking to Myself

The second thing I noticed was that I should not write my blog for my followers. It’s impossible for me to understand you all and even rude to think that I could do so. It is very easy to follow like patterns and base my blog on that. Talks like these usually get a lot of likes, I should do them more?! Anime stuff gets more like than gaming stuff, I should drop gaming and just focus more on anime right? No! When I want to play a game, I do not want to watch anime instead just because 5 people in america pressed a button more than on that gaming post.  With all due respect to you all you would not be worth that. In fact I dare say we all ignored these type of pleas in the past, when we became geeks and people told us cartoons are for children.  We should play outside instead of inside. We stayed ourselves then.. yet when anonymous people like your post it suddenly is harder?


I discovered my blog is something I do for me! I do not want to crush anyone’s dreams here but if you wish to go pro, I am not sure WordPress is the way. Commercial writing usually means writing without a voice. Write based on numbers and statistics, catering to the market. It  means following a set of rules which would break my heart and spirit to do. Irina wrote about those. That blogging bloke said some things I really did not like or support. As it wasn’t something I could do I had to make a choice. I could attempt to make the best of it and prove them wrong and make it big my own way, which is just a delusion and set-up to disappointment, quit blogging as what I wanted to reach and how I wanted to reach it was not meant to fit together or I could write just for the heck of it. I chose the latter. I write because I want to, write about what I want to and you follow because you like me doing that.

Talking to my Followers

A good follower doesn’t follow you because you share their opinion on Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, a good follower doesn’t follow you just because you made three anime posts and now he expects a fourth. A good follower follows, because they like your voice. Everyone who comments here and interacts with me stuck with me since I just blogged about Pokémon. Most of you aren’t even that on Pokémon. No one stopped following me after I changed my style and my comment section is the liveliest it has ever been. Sure my game reviews and fan fiction perform a lot less than my talks about anime or movies, but I like what they add to the blog in their own right. Each day I can write something diverse, explore new things on the internet and that makes me happy!  After my most recent mental spell in which I really had to cut back blogging I came back for me. My likes have dropped a bit but I have never been happier.

I honestly do hope you have a great time with my writing but honestly, I think the healthy way of blogging is to see your appreciation as a side effect. I see it more as a fun puzzle. What jokes can I put in there to make people smile? How can I phrase this as me! How do I put myself on paper as a brand but still get my point across. I do not always succeed but what you see is me. I try to leave something of myself behind, I wanted to meet people through this blog and I have made some awesome connections. Maybe a bit more silent as I thought but bonds nonetheless.  Would I love internet fame? Sure! Yet I shifted perspective.. I do not want to be famous because I CAN appeal to to the masses. If I happen to be so charming and pink that eventually I gather an army and riches than I happily welcome it. I call it the zero expectations plan. When I write for you all, I can set myself up for failing. You could dislike a post I made for you. When I write for me I am more in  control?! Is the article good? Nah! Did I have fun writing it, yes! I still win. 

So I guess the true way to  draw people in is make them actual fans. You’ll gain a lot less of them but I know there are people out there who genuinely care.  Who genuinely enjoy reading my work because it’s my work and it has my voice. Those are the followers I want to write for and those are the followers I do not need to write for because I am already doing that by writing for myself.  Foovay is perhaps the biggest example that comes to mind, she has been so supportive and sweet for so long now. I known Senpai spends a lot of time on my blog as well and my friend the Holy Mailman even made an account so he can interact more. Yet there are plenty of you out there that I very much appreciate. Everyone commenting and  plenty who like as well. The blessing of a small community!

Speaking from the Heart

I am not as much into anime as the most of you, I watch it weekly rather than daily, sometimes several times a week.. but hey I think my average anime episodes a week is far below PAR here. For a while I thought that would make me an outcast.  There is so much I can not talk about. I chose to let it make me alien and alone. I felt adrift. Trapped in between worlds. I saw it as a weakness. Yet recently I began seeing it as a strength.  That is who I am, I am different. Same goes for gaming, I care not for most recent games , I hate Fortnite with a passion, I am not likely to get hyped about the new Assassins Creed, I don’t even like Kingdom Hearts all that much. I like retro stuff more.  I do not care about romantic comedies much, I mostly like geeky movies, yet on occasion I really enjoy the first as well and would still like to talk about it.  At times I might be alone and I am easily misunderstood, yet at the same time that is what makes me interesting. 

Because of how the internet reacts to things it can be easy to believe you can only form bonds with those who share your opinion. If I proclaim that I dislike Lelouche on Twitter for example people would threaten me with death or bow to me like I am preaching the gospel of a new god. It is hard to flip that switch, but just because I disagree with some bloggers out there, or you disagree with me doesn’t mean we can not bond. I was afraid of that. Friendships are often formed by being the same but what makes friendship nice is being different.

Imagine this scenario. You have two friends Bob and Rob, you are now called Gus btw… say you say “I could go for a burger” Bob says “me too” Rob Says “I’d rather have a pizza” , two votes win so you get your burger.. point for Bob!  “I want to go to the Drunken Donkey” you say next “Me too” goes Bob  “I’d rather go to the Pissed Pig” Rob says. At the Drunken Donkey you and Bob order the same drink, dig the same girl and Rob drinks another sort of beer.. a special one.. how pedantic.  Now you begin to talk about how much you liked Steins Gate..  Bob says “Me To” 

Rob disagrees and talks about the pacing issues in the first episode. Which of the two is a more interesting friend to talk to? With Bob you would always talk about the same thing, drink the same drink, stare at the same girl and talk about anime you both like. With Rob you go places where you have never gone before you might argue more ..but  you might try a new beer, you might discover anime you didn’t know about. I want to be friends with Rob’s rather than Bob’s and I rather would be a Rob than a Bob as well. 

No one is 100% the same if Bob says Me too all the time, and believe me I know Bob.. he does,  he is not being genuine with you. Well unless he is your clone of course.. but why would Gus name his clone Bob. Wow I really got of track there. Point is don’t be like Bob. If people really like Animal Crossing and you don’t do not write a post in which you love it. Yes you might get more views and more likes but your true followers will know this is not you. Do it to often and maybe even those loyal followers will just stop following you, thinking you are not genuine.

I’d rather have 1 Irina or Foovay as 50 people who like I post because I did a popular thing. If I could trade you guys in for 50 followers each as long as I write about popular stuff, I’d honestly choose you guys. Well unless one those 50 tips 1000 dollars on kofi each week.. then I’d sell out. Still I rather have one follower who follows me because they like my voice rather than a group following me for what i once said.  If you read this I already count you to the better category. By being me without compromise I also hope to only gain people like you!..Well plus that 1000 dollar guy… 

And the Rest is Silence

Now this means I will be a much more rogue element in the future. I will change things when I want to them to change. I might promise you to write about one thing and then write about another. Feel free to remind me in my comments I probably had an idea when I came up with said topic.. but for now I embrace the chaos in my head.  Pinkie’s Paradise is an island in my grey matter  and I should use that habitat to make it the best it can be.  Where happy unicorns can float by and weird analogies are plenty.  My wisdoms might be different from the more studious under you and I might write less analogies that I could publish to universities, I might not win a Pulitzer  either..  how do those even look? I somehow imagine it to be Eiffel-Towerey. I used to care.. because I wanted to be acknowledged..  I wanted people to remember me, should I one day be gone.. I just focussed on the remembering part to much while I should have focussed on the me part.

Now I am much happier. Regardless of message, popularity and electronic stats, what I leave behind is me. Geek Girl Joy noticed my love for ducks from my posts, Holy Mailman might commission one of my Pinkie  gets anime powers  stories because he really liked it.  That is the true beauty of blogging. Someone saw me through my posts, another was really happy with something I came up with. I know my blog-tag did fairly well and I have another new one coming up soon a rather unique one that is bound to fail, but by Arceus will I have fun with it. So while I might sound like a selfish brat,  that is something I can be , because you allow me to. This blog isn’t for you.. it is because of you!  Because of you blogging becomes even more fun than it would be without you. You are my Fire Flower, and at times my Invincibility Star. You are my mushrooms! Yet I am Mario. You might help me on my adventure..but it is I who has to hit the flag post! Now that I realise that everything seems easier!  I follow my voice, I follow my heart and I hope you guys will follow me as well, but that one is optional.

When Pink Geeks Try Social

The difference I keep between a geek and a nerd to me is that a nerd tries to avoid social situations. Geeks go to cons, nerds watch blizzcon at home. Geeks play exploding kittens with friends, nerds play it trough tabletop simulator online. I count myself as a geek, but just because I get involved into social situations that doesn’t mean I am very capable in them. My inner geek completely overtakes my social self at times.. and this can be quite awkward. So how do I geek in social situations and how do I try to salvage it? In this post I will highlight how my mind can work different from those I call Normies. The muggles of geekism.  The fortnite players under the real gamers and the people who think the best game franchise is FIFA. There are even people out there who do not game at all, they like prefer to play actual soccer, or go dancing in discotheques. Strange creatures those normies.. Here is how to handle..or not handle them. 

Social Situation 1: Your Normie friends invite you to something you are NOT interested in.

“Hey Pinkie do you want to go to Amsterdam to visit the sex museum and then we go to the  zoo and visit the Heineken store. Do you want to come?” Sociable as I am I say yes of course, but in actuality I think, what the heck is sex, the zoo is very stinky and I do not like Heineken beer, I prefer Belgian Abbey Ales which I can drink a lot in my local pub. Okay I do not actually think “what is sex’ but it just doesn’t do anything for me, so  a museum about sex seems duller to me than staring at Kristen Stewart’s face for 24 hours. There is just nothing to see. In these situations I pretend to be normal and fake interest to entertain my friends. I giggle looking at ancient sex toys, I pretend to be impressed by a lion and when someone when an Amsterdam waiter asks me what I want to drink I say “I don’t care what it is.. just as long as it is much’ During our drinks we talk about the weather and tv shows I do not watch and I pretend that I might go watch them. My normie friends are into those reality type shows where someone has their own hair salon or where they like act like neanderthals on an island where you can only talk about sex and booze. My normie friends are sweet but sometimes I can feel like a real alien amongst them. I do not agree well with the casual television, everywhere there seems to be an obsession with sex in there. Like I get why sex is nice and all.. but what is the point in seeing others have sex.. what is funny about seeing the first dildo?  I mean I hope it helped the lady .. or guy who invented it I guess but I do not really find it more lewd than a back scratcher same need.. different spot. I am aware I think oif these subjects differently than the general populous so during events like these I am swimming in my head a lot  

One of the normie friends is someone I really care for, she is like a duckling I feel a need to protect. Yet she also is very close minded, I need to act normal and do the mundane with her, or she will feel sad and misunderstood. So I do my utmost and swim away. When swimming in my head I feel lost. She for example tells me that she hopes that Farmer Bob should really choose Hilda as his girl instead of Laura in the tv show.. Farmer looking for a Wife (Yes that’s an actually massively popular tv show here) . She then proceeds to gossip about women she hasn’t even met yet and tells something about how Hilda and Bob bonded over picking green beans, she knows I do not watch the show so she talks about all the emotions. When she asks me if she if I would pick that true green bean love Hilda.. or stupid good looking Laura… I know which I have to say.. but I have no idea why. I can not see why other people care about some farmer and some girl. I mean.. I hope farmer bob finds someone but I don’t know the bloke.. nor would I from watching tv.. so let him pick who he wants.  Small talk during these events can be a hassle. So what I do to solve this is one of either two things. Option 1 I keep engaged with other things… that’s a nice purse is it new.. shal lI get us another drink.. should we get a snack as well? Something to keep me busy.. oftenly resulting in me getting drunk or overeating. The other thing I do which seems to work is make things personal. Instead of farmer Bob’s romantic endeavours I bend the subject to not be smalltalk anymore. “What do YOU think over bonding at green beans, what would you like to see in your romantic partner’ I can talk about that kind of stuff as it concerns my friends. I like finding out what makes them tick.. but as a result of our differences I can’t really talk about “that new commercial or the new flavor of M&M’s .. let alone the sex/romance talk of people I never even heard and thus can not care for. Sometimes I feel like I am Frasier Crane…but poor.

Social Situation 2: Your Normie friends invite you to something you are VERY MUCH interested in. 

“Pinkie do you want to go eat Sushi and then visit a Karaoke Café?” Oh my Arceus.. YES! YES! Sushi has become mundane enough for everyone to enjoy but I am the kind of girl who orders Saké with it, yells Kampai and Itadakimasu! Regardless who I bring. I know about Saké flavors based on how they are numbered, I want to eat Fugu one day and know a fair bit more japanese words than my Normie friends. Sometimes that excitement can’t help but spill out. “Pinkie , you are doing it again’.. when I ramble on about my favorite words I know in Japanese. In once like rambled for like 15 minutes on end when a friend of mine asked why some Saké was cold and some was hot. If someone mentions the weird vending machines in Japan .. I ramble on night… yes this gets my passion flowing! Lemme talk! I love everything geeky and during food it can get a bit akward, I am a low key foodie, who knows my flavors so when we eat sushi I talk about the importance of Umami and stuff. Awkward and I bet to the disinterest of my Normie friends but this I think is fairly common. 

(How people react when I talk about Sake or Sushi)
(And just because I found this and thought it was to cute not to share)

If we take it one step further and move on to the Karaoke things get very weird. You see , my karaoke is VERY different from their karaoke. I am used to Karaoke at conventions and that is my jam, but the theming is very different. To me Karaoke is sing the pokémon theme song with everyone together, or Let it Go. Well kids, that’s not the Karaoke you really get when out with normies, to a normie karaoke place. They expect Paradise by the Dashboard Light or No Woman No Cry. This happened once to me during a weekend in Antwerp we found a Karaoke bar and had to go in. Remember what I told earlier about abbey ales? Well there is a lot to try in this Belgian city so I was nice and loose and decided to go with the classic musings of Jason Paige. They DID have it for me to sing.. but I did not really check the audience in the bar very well. As I sang my heart out I was met with utter silence and confused stares why this followed Meatloaf. Even my friends did not sing along at least not the second verse. Even in my inherbiated state I kept watching to the stage left  to see if a guy with that weird hook staff thing would not come up to yank me by the neck off stage. While that did not happen I really wanted to leave the bar quite soon after I was done.
While I had fun while singing afterwards I felt so alien and unwelcome in the bar, watched as well. I felt like that pug dog from men in black. So then we went to a monastery café to drink some more abbey ales.  Yet I rather make a fool out of myself than not have a story at all. Just be aware that not everyone will like your thing and do not let it discourage you to be you. Just have your fun……… and then bail.

Social Situation 3: Clubbing

‘Hey Pinkie let’s go to the club’ the dreaded question. I do not like going to the club.. but to spend some time with my friends sometimes it is the only option available to me. I put on some make up, dress up my hair , play the little who is driving game (I can’t drive so  I just play judge) and travel to that big club, to let myself be deafened by the same tunes I can hear in my local bar (which I llove to go too with my geeky friends by the way) I overpay for my drinks and for even being there and wait till the rest gets tired of it and goes home. While I can’t say I have a bad time at the club each time it is a very neutral experience to me. I like talking to my friends, but in a club that isn’t very easy.  To me clubbing is the biggest mass dillusion the common folk does together. Why do we go to the clubs? Honest answer , I think people go to clubs to find a mate. And while you could go and argue “me and my friends just want to dance on some sweet sweet music’ let me add that if you go out just to dance, there is no need to wear a fancy dress all that jewelry and more make up than a harley quinn cosplayer. To some level you want attention from those  who do not know you. Clubbing isnt about spending time with your friends, it’s either about making new friends , showing oif your moves or finding someone to help you ruin your sheets with you. Now all that I am saying is assuming random clubbing.. say your David Guetta is playing in a club , I can see it maybe being different but I am talking about your standard saturday evening clubbing. That is all about peacocking to what you hope to achieve. For some reason we delude ourselves into it being a fun group activity.. but clubbing really is about yourself. I mean sure as a girl you can flirt with a guy .. by dancing with a friend and wingmanning is a thing for guys.. but clubbing is about you. It’s about you getting what you want from that place… and there isnt really anything I want from there.

I am not a huge music fan , I like listening to it fine, but it doesnt have that magic appeal that it seems to have for everything else. Music for me is not something I enjoy as a stand alone thing. It’s the seasoning that can make my blogging more pleasant or my roleplays more epic. I have fond memories of the ducktales moon theme because it came with an experience not because it is just composed well. I like video game concerts because it reminds me of video games. Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Kanye West all those icons mean nothing to me nor their music.  I do not care about their world or that lover that got away , the new love and eventually another heartbreak. I don’t know them so I don’t really care about those songs about matters of the heart. I am not that into it. My favorite normal songs, if I even have any they are about random stuff. So I do not go to a club for courting , nor for the music and there usually are better way to talk to my friend so in a club I tend to feel lost. To entertain myself I study people. What do “normal” people do to pick someone else in the club. What are actual opening lines that work. Why do they work. Being and Identifying as a female .. (marginally) interested in other females in a less than average sexual way isn’t really people pick up upon. Girls flirting with me .. and sometimes even boys is mostly completely lost on me.I’ll socialise with them like any other person I meet and attempt small talk but I all seem them as just being nice. Like they see me standing there being awkward and want to help me like I am a deer staring into the headlights. Sometimes this is true .. but other times they actually take romantic interest in me. I can pick up on any social cue just fine, In fact I can usually read people very well to a point where I can tell really small social cues, like friends not feeling well, or keeping a secret from me. Yet flirting is the one thing I do not get.  I can determine it well enough to see that I might be flirted with and I can ask myself.. Are they flirting with me, but I never seem to be fully able to grasp it. Which makes clubbing a very odd experience. 

Over time I have given up on being normal. I now mostly act like myself. I still sing Disney songs on Karaoke nights, I still geek out during Sushi and when Farmer looking for a Wife is on tv I make sure people know I am steering clear of it. Even that normie friend who is so frail , as well as myself is going to accept I am who I am. I can still socialise I just can’t do it when I am pretending to be the person you want me to be. I might look like an alien at the social venues I visit, but at least I now visit them as me. Despite looking awkward , I have my own fun at these kind of social things and while it might not be reaction your average person react. Why everyone has to have the same feelings about these tv shows, about sexuality, music and how to act around friends is beyond me.. Man being normal sure is weird!