Blog Tour – Pinkie's Paradise

Adapt don’t change: OWLS May Blog Tour

Hey Island guests, it has been a while since I partook in an OWLS tour! I skipped the last three. February and March featured themes that did not match up with how I see the world. April’s theme while beautifully themed around hope came at a bad time for me. There was a lot on my plate.. but now that I have adapted a bit better to the new situation I feel stronger than ever before.. and adapting is this months topic.

OWLS

While I am sure that most of you know who the OWLS are, in fact most of you reading are OWLS I bet a little reminder for all those marketing blogs that follow me or mysterious passerby’s in the future. The OWLS are the Otaku Warriors for Liberty and Self-respect. Basically it’s a bunch of people who do not care about your skin colour, disabilities or how you identify yourself. If you are an Otaku or Geek you are one of us. A message that Pinkie very much supports.

In May we talk about adapting. Covid-19 has altered the world, it has brought us closer together in some ways but also put us further apart. Little things like shopping can now be a lot more anxiety inducing. We all need to recalibrate ourselves to a new lifestyle and constant uncertainties Through our favorite anime we can show you how hard it can be to adapt but to give you tips and insights! Words like.. Subaru handled it like this.. be like Subaru. So obviously… I am going to take a slightly different approach..because that is the type of OWL I am.

Hacking Through the Gate

Today I will talk to you about adapting to a new world compared to changing. I believe these are two very different things, and we should never allow a new world to change who we are nor can we expect the world to change for us. Adapting is needed.. but also a slippery slope.
If we change to much we risk losing ourselves and if we try to change external factors to make the world adapt and change to our bidding we are oftenly in over our heads. It’s a balancing act. In the anime Steins Gate, we can find a lot of of stories on how NOT to adapt. Yet also a few on how it is done correctly. So prepare your flippy phones as we take a trip into the past.

For those who don’t know what Steins Gate is about. A guy is Microwaving Bananas and more or less discovers a way to time travel through that. We all pretty much know what Steins Gate is about though. Okabe Rintarou can send messages through time and he uses it to change things in the past that he does not like.. including preventing the death of Makise Kurisu. As it turns out things are not that easy. You can not just change without consequences . As his life spirals more and more out of control we see him clutching for straws to keep his friends safe from the CERN organisation and to unravel what is going on.

The reason I chose this anime is because it highlights Okabe being unable to adapt. He can not accept things the way they are and tries to change the world rather than adapt to it in order to be happy. For those who have seen the show, those endeavours usually do not end great and in a way the solution was to adapt to a situation rather than change it. While it all may sound a bit flimsy I hope you keep on reading as I try to explain. As Steins Gate teaches us that the only thing we can truly change is us.

Adapt yourself

Now note that this post has nothing to do with our current situation. I assume plenty of people will have talked about it and have talked about it better than me. So think of these words more as advice in general. While I am all for adapting I am very heavily against change. Take for Example Urushibara Luka, the character that looks like a girl but he is a guy, smells and dresses like a girl.. but he is a guy.. you know that scene if you saw this show. Luka is tormented by gender dysphoria and always wanted to be a girl. Okabe’s answer to solve this for Luka is to convince her mother to eat more vegetables in the past. Which works and Luka is born female. We see change. However this completely invalidates Luka’s personality. Changing magically like that would create a completely different person, as we are made by our highs and lows.

While I get their plight, this is not something we need to change. Luka regardless of her body is a girl, she identifies as a girl and was molded by that. Changing that means Luka never existed in the new timeline, the new girl is someone else. While it is easy for society to say, you are born like a male.. act like one, for transgender this would not be adapting, it would mean changing. It is to big. The person we know and see would stop to exist and become another. Imagine changing physically that much each time you have to pretend to be another person.. forced to put on a mask.. pretend you feel your bones shifting and you got a good idea what mental agony change like that invokes.

This is NEVER the way one should adapt. What we can adapt though is stuff like , our location, what people see of us and who we interact with. We can move to a town or city that is more open minded, usually city cultures are much more tolerant towards the different than small town, we can adapt the way we dress so people might not even see the physical wrong gender and we can replace who we interact with. One can call it fleeing, but I ‘d say it is not. It is finding hapiness elsewhere. Don’t dig in a dry well.

Okabe’s reaction to Luka is rather toxic, calling her a guy while everything about her is female except for some chromosomes. Rather than asking for change in such a definite way, Luka should ask to be referred to as a girl by her friends. They are close enough and will do it for her, it’s not a complete road to happiness but it is a first step. If they don’t she should find friends who would.. It isn’t easy but adapting never is. Don’t adapt for others follow your heart and instincts for this one.

Same goes for those who have a “undesirable” sexual preference, you can pretend to be different but that doesn’t bring anyone happiness. Adapting.. is about making things work FOR YOU. While change is making things work regardless the cost. There is a gravitation on being standard.. but being like others never made anyone happy in its core. Do not change yourself… only change within the confines of yourself.. that to me is what adapting means.
Don’t change so others can live with you! Adapt so you are happier with yourself.

Deal with pain

To adapt let no one tell you, your fear, anxieties and pain is not real, or over exaggerated. Only you know how you feel inside. Real men don’t cry is a stupid statement and I am sure many would agree. In the same vain, you are over-reaction is also ALWAYS wrong. While it serves a purpose and can make you look back.. that feeling you initially feel is genuine. That is never taken away.. if you feel so much pain that you overreact.. it must have really hurt you. Never change the pain to go away, accept that it hurts and adapt to it. “My friend said a nasty thing.. . I better suck up and pretend that I do not care because it’s guy talk” is wrong. You pretend to be someone you are not which means you slowly lose yourself. I have lost myself in the past adapting into the person others wanted me to be.. in time it will just feel miserable.

At the same time you can also not expect your friends to completely change. Nowadays we want to ban so many words because if offends somebody but that is not the way either, you can not expect the entire world to bend to you. It would force others to change. To ask them to change is just as unreasonable. Your friends might hurt you at times by being different, they might be stubborn and be unable to relate. Don’t demonize them for it. Instead you reach out.. so all can changes within the confines of themselves. You tell your friend “I was really hurt by what you said, could you please not do that when I am around” Your friend doesn’t have to suddenly not find his jokes funny.. because they are not PC, he just has to tone it down in front of you. Or give you a heads up he is going to make such a joke… two adapt so neither has to change.

Okabe SUCKS at this. He can not accept the death of Kurisu so he changes it.. which sets in motion a counter movement, which ends up hunting Mayuri. He can not accept the world he now has created and has to change it again. And Again and Again. Okabe refuses to accept things the way they are and suffers greatly for it. He changes things.. even himself to an extend but never adapts. His blossoming love with Kurisu make sure that regardless of what he chooses he always loses.. and he is unable to adapt to it. Up to a point where it is nearly driving him mad. He gets his happy ending.. not by changing the world..but accepting what he sees. There are facts he has to deal with! However what those facts means is where he can adapt. Just because he saw something.. and assumed the worst doesn’t mean the worst actually happened. He saw something.. and now has to make the best out of that. He adapts. Yet it was a lesson that does not come easy to him.

Alter Ego

We see this inability to adjust amplified by his alter ego Hyojin Kyoma, he in a way changes himself to another person. Someone he is not. The fact that Kurisu falls for Okabe and not Hyojin once more shows that you have to remain yourself. You can not just change everything and expect to be happy. That just doesn’t happen, we have to accept things in order to make them work. Okabe learned that lesson which is important in order to adapt and we have to do so to.

Yes if you are not a straight-cis person some people will think poorly of your sexuality, yes people can be racist if you have a different skin color and no we do not have to accept that. We can make other people adapt, make them see there is much more than a binary spectrum of right and wrong. What they see doesn’t always have to be true.. like it was for Okabe. We can show them they make false assumptions and enlighten them. Allow them to adapt… we can NOT change them. They have to be the one the instigate this within themselves. We can just help them along their way. Just like we can not allow them to change us. We can adapt, but we should not change. Like how Rintaro can step up to save Kurisu or Mayuri, yet his alter ego his change is useless. Happiness can only be achieved if adjustments come from the real self.

Because we are forced to stay inside doesn’t mean you change into a recluse that is isolated from their friends. Send them them a postcard a gift or put on a webcam. Hang out with them on your Animal Crossing island perhaps. Stay yourself and allow them to stay themselves and just tweek the way you can meet. If you have trouble being accepted because of who you are, find a common ground from which you can be accepted rather than change others into accepting that one aspect they approve of, and certainly make sure you don’t change and take on an alter ego of yourself.

In that spirit the OWLS set a good example in adapting. Yes we are all very different, yes at times it can be polarising and no we will not always agree. We can refuse to accept this and refuse to adapt.. but it would end up driving us apart. We accept.. some things aren’t easy as we want them to be.. and instead of projecting this ideal world we accept that it’s not.. so we adapt.. to find that glimmer in the dark. We adapt to not see each others as those labels that set us apart but the label that we all share.. We adapt to bearing our Otaku badge as a symbol of togetherness while still being our true selves.

Check out these amazing other OWLS Posts as well!

Hikari went before me and you can check out her certainly amazing post right here!
Aria will do the next one , three days from when this post releases… so if you read this after the 19th you can click here to check more adapting goodness! Or if you read it before you can click here to visit the blog in advance.

OWLS TOUR: Never a failure. Always a Lesson

It’s my birthday! Yay! Birthdays are always a good time to reminisce and reflect upon one’s life. My good friends and nakama the OWLS , the Otaku Warriors for Liberty and Self-respect are doing another blog tour and the theme is failure. When I say failure you say Ash! Lets try it! Failure!….. ‘Ash’ Failure! ‘Ash.’ However as a clever owl once whispered:

“One of the best ways we can learn is through failure. This month we will be talking about the failures of our favorite characters in pop culture media and what we can learn from them. We will also reflect on our own mistakes and failures and how those experiences have allowed us to grow as human beings.“

Rihanna has a tattoo with the words Never a Failure, always a lesson on her upper chest. It implies that failure is never the end of a journey, it is simply a moment of feedback that is just an unexpected step towards our goals. Ironically enough that one movie Battleship that Rihanna was in… was kind of a failure.. but hey at least Rihanna knows better what roles not to take.. now that is a lesson.

Never a loss: Always Extra Experience.

Now this post will NOT be about the many many, many MANY pokémon leagues Ash lost, because his losing the Kalos League or even the Sinnoh League barely count. There is little Ash did to fail in those matches that knocked him out. On top of that after the leagues he always suffers massive memory loss, a lot of his experience and sometimes even his character gets a soft reset. Thus those league losses vanish right away. We will discuss mistakes he made that lead to failure, how these things can be overcome and how I myself fell into similar pitfalls. It’s my birthday so reflect time after all. The first still are all the battles he lost. Ash has lost a significant amount of gym battles. He lost to four of the Kanto Gym Leaders! Ash has lost to , Brock, Lt Surge, Sabrina, Blaine, Whitney, Brawley, Roark, Lenora, Viola and Wulfric. Brock, Roark, Lenora and Viola are first gym leaders, which means of his six journeys past gyms Ash faced defeat at the first hurdle 4! times. On the first adventure he failed FOUR times arguably even five. In regards to challenges that come to the end of a journey he only lost twice….. 75% of all his poké leagues.. but again those don’t count.

Ash thusly teaches us an important lesson about failure, we learn from them. Against Brock he learns that there are things more important than winning and that there is no honour in taking the easy way out. Against Surge he learns how victory does not come in the form of strength alone, when losing against Sabrina Ash learns that things sometimes are not what they seem and eventually lead him to accept an outcome even if it isn’t the result that you want. His first battle against Blaine teaches teaches him to not give up even if things seem hopeless. Each loss, doesn’t make him weaker, none of his failures makes him ACTUALLY lose anything. Instead of a badge.. he gets something much more important.. a lesson that pushes him to the next level of being a trainer.

Never nothing: always something.

We can learn from Ash and reflect upon our own failures. I for example have experienced my own share of losses. Whether it is at something competitive I play, the single player of a video game , up to a more substantial things like candidacy for a job or function. It seems easy to shrug off a loss in a video game , you can always try again. It feels satisfying to shrug of losing that function as “their” loss. In doing so we trivialise our failure.. we negate it as such. When we negate our own failure by justification or blame removement though, we also delete the lessons we learn. As long as I do not acknowledge that I failed to present myself in a way befitting of a function, during a job interview, there is nothing for me to gain. I have done this in the past and kept “hope”. While it is good to keep up hope and belief in yourself, it is not good to acquit yourself of any involvement in this decision. In your life, you should not be a pawn for life to play with beyond your control.. no life moves around for you to play with.

When a pitfall activates, you can pretend like you never fell in.. or acknowledge it and study why you fell in. When you ignore it.. the status quo doesn’t change everything is like before. Trough self reflection upon failure we can learn to avoid these pitfalls and climb out as more complete people. Every defeat Ash suffered he reflected upon it. There were lessons he needed to learn. Never did he bumrush a gym in the hope to just get lucky. I for one know I trivialised my failures to often. I never took blame for not getting a job and as a result I got forced into a job that turned out very toxic for me.. something that broke me down to the core, forcing me to take blame and what was actually wrong. Finally I am being right, by acknowledging I was wrong.

Never and End: Always a Future.

Besides from the obvious form of failure, in the form of a lost matched, or negative answer there is also hidden failure. Something we do not necessarily mark as failure initially but in retrospect oftenly blame ourselves for. Opposed to the first form of ‘direct failure’ we can also have ‘retroactive failure’ in which a past action suddenly gets counted as a misplay, a mistake a failure. I am talking about the loss of a potential partner, the loss of a friend or in Ash case the release of a companion. One may argue these do not count as failures, but in it’s core Ash failed her to be the best situation for his friends. Ash could not provide the happiness that Butterfree could get elsewhere. He could not give Pidgeot the role it needed to take and he failed to provide Charizard with the strength through training it so desired. Over the course of time Ash has let his companions down several times, whether it meant having to release them or seeming them rise up against him. He failed to acknowledge Misty’s and Serena’s feelings and had to lose them as companions, he failed to united his dream with that of his many companions. So we see people coming and going out of Ash life and while it’s natural we do see him reflect on these things. If only had done things differently.

However once again, Ash does show us how to handle this. Even if he regrets making a decision, he will accept he made that mistake and stick by it. He can not change the past and takes solace in the fact that this is better for them. Charizard gets stronger, Butterfree is happier and thanks to Pidgeot many birds are safe. We see Ash going through his process and even reaffirm it. While he misses Charizard on many occasions, there are a few times where the pair meets up again throughout the series and every time Ash sends him back again, despite claiming how much me missed and needed him. What may seem like the end of a road for Ash and Charizard has opened a more promising future for the both of them, the same can be said for all the companions he failed to provide the ideal home for. They HAVE actually found it, just away from each other. This is where Ash identifies “Retroactive Failure” as what it actually is.. FALSE Failure.

Never Alone: Always Together

In my past I have fallen in love with a few girls and before that had a relationship with a few boys. Each time these things did not work out I asked myself .. why did I fail, what could I have done to save these things. How can I improve. There was this girl my friend nicknamed Lauren, whom I was REALLY into and I kept trying and trying to win over to me.. and at times I did succeed in making her doubt and try.. just to end up crashing and burning every time. Causing me immense heartache. When it comes to false failure… unlike with actual failure.. for some weird reason we get the need to blame ourselves. Whenever we feel down we regret these kind of things. We talk ourselves down for not being the person they want us to be. We can deem being ourselves as failing. Yet this is never really true. While Ash could have given up his dreams for Misty or Serena’s sake.. it would be inherently not him.. as discussed in my lovers post as well. While Misty and Serena loved current Ash, he could not be with them BECAUSE he was the person he was. Had he changed for them.. he would no longer be the person they wanted. Thusly such a failure, would only trigger another form of failure and no gain can be made.

With Lauren, I COULD have changed but in the long run I would grow unhappy and what Lauren DID like about me was my positive spirit. Lauren was quite a bit more bourgeois than me or than I could ever be and forcing myself in that lifestyle would result in me gaining a trait she wanted from me at the cost of another.. not changing the status quo. The fake failure would endure. Somethings are simply not meant to be. Just because I lost the woman I absolutely would have adored as MY girlfriend and that she was perfect for what I wanted (I could accept that SHE was Bourgeois) clearly there still was something intrinsically wrong. By accepting this I could let go and started desiring her less.. my failure being able to convince her, became one of the smartest moves, accepting it and moving on. False failure, much like direct failure can not be accepted as the end of a journey or it will lead to big depressions. We have to move forward, there is no ‘slack water’ the tides are always moving. No matter how many people we lose or have to give up we never are alone even if fake failure can make it seem that way. When I lost Lauren, we do not see each other anymore, I felt lost.. like my world was crumbling, I would die alone. I failed at my one chance to be happy, no one would ever love me. Then I found my pink bubble.. the insight Ash has as well.

“My Charizard’ is a lot happier now, eating cake with grandma every sunday, which I never liked doing, in a way I made that happen. Just like Ash send charizard away, I decided to walk out so we can move on. While I sit alone on the couch, she did make me a better person, and thusly is a part of my life. Even if I had NO friends in the world whatsoever, someone could still read my blog and take a lesson, heck even the bottle of lemonade I bought, made a clerk happy that his wage is safe, and a factory boss happy his income is secured on a microscopic scale. We are connected to so much more people than we actually notice so we are never really alone. By believing in fake failure, we risk invalidating the people we do have around in our lives. ‘If only I could have been more Bourgeois so Lauren would like me’ is a slap in the face to everyone who cares for actual me and it’s always more people than you think. So to prevent fake failure you just gotta be you. Failing to keep a friendship alive also does not invalidate what they did you in the past.

Never a Fact: Always a state of mind

While a failure has a negative sound to it, this negativity is always self imposed from not correctly dealing with it. Failure in its core is simply a moment of reflection. Failing to get something we want or failing to keep something we can no longer fully wok with both teach us so much about ourselves. We trick ourselves however into believing that failure is something to cry over. Yet I shall compare failure to a Mario game. Losing a life is on a first run not persé a bad thing. You lean about that tricky goomba or koopa and think about having to get past it. Thusly you get a little better at the game and learn how to deal with obstacles.. not only that one but also similar once. We feel like we constantly need to keep moving, go faster and race as hard as we can, anything that breaks momentum is considered a failure. However going back to Mario again, sometimes it’s better to break your momentum.. to hold off on dashing for a moment to grab that mushroom. Taking a pause and looking around allows you to grow. Failure is not a lot more then an illusion created by life, as a moment for you to grow. Failure is always a matter of perception.

Do you play soccer just to win, then losing a match is indeed a “failure” if you want to be the best soccer player out there, losing a match is only a different step, instead of climbing the ladder, you figure out HOW to climb the ladder, yet both make you progress. In the end the guy who did not end up losing the first match, will at some point in live be handed the “bill” their moment of introspection comes later and will lead to different results. Those without jobs might learn money isn’t everything early on and focus on having a loving family or group of friends instead but they might struggle to keep up with their friends, like me. One of my friends chose the other route, knowledge and money first.. friends later. Now they do realise that money isn’t everything and that a job can cost you a lot. While I still struggle with money, they now struggle to get their friends attention. In the end we are still at the same stage, even if we failed at different moments and things. So failure is mostly a negative word and a state of mind. Being the loser some duel could mean you gained more as a player thus making you the winner in terms of growth.

Never another: always yourself

Now in closing I do want to state that I do feel true failure is possible and that one is truly inline with what OWLS stand for. True failure can occur when we stop being ourselves and close ourselves off from the lessons we learn. Ash does this as well. In his first pokémon league he relies on Charizard because it is the most powerful team member for a fact. Yet Ash never won by raw strength. He outsmarted outlucked his opponent. He knew Charizard would cramp his style as he learned this lesson, against Blaine and many other fights. He allowed his pokémon to stay unevolved and he very well knew they could work as well. Yet here Ash went against what he learned from Lt Surge already, raw strength isn’t everything. Against Sabrina he learned that you also have to have fun when battling. Ash stopped being Ash when fighting Richie and became your generic ‘Ace Trainer’ like figure. He failed because he lost himself.

In the past I tried to be a person who I was not, make friends with people only my fake self wanted to be friends because they did the popular things like clubbing and heavy drinking. I failed to be that generic type of person and have fun doing it. I failed to keep these people as my friends. Yet I also did not gain anything. Deep down always knew I was not that, so I only relearned what I already knew. I wasted many hours on people that did not really care for me and I was just a means to an end to find a drinking group more easily. I got used for my organisation talent and when I wanted something else I was discarded. Yet when I tried reflecting , I always sort of knew we were incompatible, I was just keeping up appearances to be normal.

So if you have to feel make sure it is as you. Fail applying at a job you really want and you will get better at interviewing so you can get it next time. Fail at a job interview your parents told you to do and either you presented pooly, or it might just not be for you or deep down you never wanted this and it showed. Losing that girl your interested in will teach you, you are not as compatible as you might think, but if I pretend to be into guys or if I pose as a Normie I can’t really say if we are compatible because I am not truely that normie. And when you use a pokémon theme other people tell you to use instead of that what you choose yourself, you will never truly know what you did wrong because you were not acting like yourself. So if there is one thing you should never fail at in life, it is that you should never fail at being yourself.

This month blog tour is of course far from a failure itself, so check out the amazing works of the other owls. Aria went before me and you can read their text right here!
YumDeku will follow me on the 19th Or if you a curous aleady here you can go to their site instead and subscribe so you won’t miss the post!

Loving Ambition. OWLS September 2019 Blog Tour

Hey there little monsters, today it’s time for another sunday special. This time it’s the Owl Blog Tour! For those who don’t know who the OWLS are. It’s an acronym for the Otaku Warriors for Liberty and Self-respect. A band of people promoting acceptance no matter your skin colour, gender, capabilities sexuality or beliefs. Having quite a couple of links with them myself I recently joined up and this is my first blog tour I write for them. The subject of septembers tour is going to be lovers… something I am very much not. I am so panda that I barely even know anymore what the word means. Hence I am not looking at any proper couple.. but the hints of romance between a couple of ten year olds.

Unbroken Bonds

While there never was really an official relation between Ash and his companions I think they have been shipped aplenty. In two cases there even was some clear cut romantic subplots. In the Pokémon anime, both Misty and Serena definitely could have been lovers of Ash. No matter who watches the Pokémon anime , they see that Ash and Misty were supposed to end up together and even more so with Serena. What changed them from potential lovers into star crossed lovers in one foul swoop? It wasn’t really their age, after all in the anime Ash, Misty and Serena act much closer akin to 16 year olds rather than a 10 year old. By every romantic movie or book ever written they SHOULD have their happy ever after together. They formed bonds together due to the wide variety of experiences they have seen of each other. They have seen each others good and bad sides and they support each other regardless of it. It’s not the friend zone either because throughout the series clearly there are hints of both sides liking each other. In fact Misty was my first experience with a Tsundere if I ever saw one.

Serena’s crush on Ash is established from the get go the first episode clearly going into a romantic subplot. So how can couples who are this compatible and do take an interest in one another not end up together? This is something I have oftenly asked myself, I have been in Serena’s and Misty’s shoes more than once.. I have met my Ash(ley) and saw my romance fall through even after we admitted we liked each other.. and being able to talk like we have known each other for ages. Yet there is a force that tore me and my Ashley apart.. and it’s the same force that tears away Ash from Misty and Serena and that force is ambition.

Unified Minds

In society there are so many mantras what we have to do in life. Some incredibly dated some newly tacked on. People are brainwashed hard into believing that they want to be a doctor living in their house with a white picket fence, a loving wife and their 2.5 children. Everyone HAS to get a job right away, everyone HAS to aspire to be larger than life and we live life to be ‘normal’ or recognised by others.. rather than accepting who we are. Ash falls in that same pitfall as many and as a result is missing out on beautiful things life could offer. Ash is determined to win a pokémon league.. to be recognised by his peers to be special without being ‘special’ .. he follows the standard boys dream. He is quite passionate about it, which in turn makes him more appealing to the girls… who also follow the standard doctrine. ‘Well that is an ambitious guy.. that one is a catch.. it will lead to that white picket fence.’ Little do they know they fall in love not with each other.. but the ability to follow that standard dream that everyone in the world seems to follow. Yet because Ash is ambitious he becomes unable to settle until he can live up that dream and that standard set by society. Success, partner, home and children is basically what it comes down too. Nearly everyone strives for that package in some shape way or form.. it’s the blueprint of a life at least. While in our world success is somewhat flexible term, just get above average income and you are deemed successful, the standard in the Pokéworld is a lot higher. You HAVE to be the very best .. like no one ever was.

This gives Ash an unfulfillable ambition, an everlasting itch which blinds him to the next step in his journey. Because in his own eyes he is not successful yet he can not move onto the step to find a lover. Meanwhile because Misty and Serena also strive for the same thing Ash ambitions makes him a lot more attractive to them.. creating quite a toxic situation. We all crave for some stability which ambition creates and thus we end up thinking a doctor is more attractive than a plumber. A Pokemon champion is more attractive than the guy who does not travel anymore. In truth.. and I do believe this is also the reason why we have so many divorces , a great many of us aren’t looking for the perfect partner for us, we are looking for that person who can give us that standarly perfect life and quite often those two do not have to align. We oftenly delude ourselves in needing something we do not need. In a way a great many of us are Ash. We do not need to be a Pokémon Champion.. nor do we need to date one. Generations of brainwashing tells our subconscious we do though. So all our minds are set on solving that perfect little puzzle.. yet you might not even fit in it.

Hidden Fates

So because of protagonist syndrome Ash will de doomed to fail in settling down with the girl of his dreams. In my eyes a part that would have fitted Serena perfectly because she had a crush on Ash from the get go. Misty arguably fell for Ash because of his determination and ambition so he should he settle for her there is a risk of losing that attraction. Serena liked how he helped her and the ‘motionless’ or core part of his personality. What I mean by that is that we can fall in love with a person based on they react or how they intrinsically are. Ash IS ambitious because he has unfilled desires and dreams but they way he makes sacrifices to protect others (by saying goodbye to some of pokémon friends) just happen because. No matter if he is the champion and a billionaire or as he is now.. Ash will always help those in need.

Yet his ambition has a limit, dreams can be fulfilled. His ambition will grow or weaken as he develops while the helpfulness is a constant. Per example I am a very careful person right now, I used to be happy go lucky but the situation requires me to take more things into account as I had more things on my plate. Would Ashley have fallen in love with me because she liked happy go lucky me.. we might be at odds now. Part of our personality is in flux, it changes as we grow and if those are the traits we happen to fall in love with, we risk falling out of love as well. Misty fell in love with Ash because of the passion he displayed, his inner fire. Serena fell in love with his kindness and his sense of justice.

Both valid reasons but in case of the latter a much more stable base. Yet that fire is a much more potent aphrodisiac. A drive, zeal and passion are quite a bit sexier in the eye of the public and once more a reason why ambition is a dangerous thing to fall for. If you swoon over ambition it may be your fate to stand by the sidelines because their success comes first.. like what happend with Misty and Serena . If you do manage to snag someone with ambition it might be your fate to see the love fade away when that drive fades. After all at one point the ambitions will have their success, partner house and children.. how ambitious they remain after that remains to be seen. Those who truly fall in love with each others true core.. are way more often fated to remain together. Serena fitted this role very well but Ash was just to ambitious. He moved away to Alola to be the very best and he inspired Serena to go to Hoenn so she can measure up to him. Ambition is great birth control.

Team Up

While we promise to be their for our lovers in sickness and in health we only select them in health while in truth is we are oftenly only selected in health. Serena and Misty won’t ask Ash to stay with them because it would break the status quo.. they would take away his success. Misty could not ask that of him because she would ask him to give up what made him a potential lover for her. Serena could not ask that of him because she fell in love with that core and she knew that Ash would sacrifice his goals for her if she asked. On his turn Ash would never go for either of the girls because his step one has not been completed and he will not be happy without fulfilling that ambition, become the everlasting traveler making him unreachable to both shippable girls.

This brings me back to Ashley.. my one that got away (who is not actually named Ashley by the way) who moved away because there was a better career waiting for her seeming totally convinced when she told me that a proper career comes first. Not long after my best friend moved away because he had to put a career ahead of his friendships. I mean we still are friends but I am the type that would rather settle for a bit of a lesser job and live closer to my friends.. rather than a high paid job but barely any time to see or go to my friends. Misty was looking for a lover to start a future with because of ambition that future could never really start not even during their second journey together.. not even now that they hang out during their semi third. Serena for the biggest part was just glad she could spend time with Ash.. yet ambition made them go their separate ways. I am like Serena and I feel the world is wrong. We seek someone to be happy with in the future to build up to be that standard family you see in stock photos.

*(Stock Footage Family.. I do not know these people…. this scares me)*

Ambition is required for that in a way. I want someone to be happy with right now so that I can be me..not this boring bourgeois version of me that does well in the eyes of society. I don’t want a white picket fence! I’d risk being a means to an end. I do not need.. and you do not need someone that wants you for their picture perfect. We should stop wanting a lover for the future and start wanting a lover for the now. That might sound wrong but if I am happy with my lover now and live in the moment, that happiness is always pure. It’s not because I want to have children someday (I don’t ) it’s not because I want a bigger house (I do want that) it’s because of that moment! Each moment that follows is just as pure as I do it as me.. not ‘a good citizen. Ash and companions highlight this for me. There is so much potential happiness going to waste because they imagine more of the future.. and because of that pesky ambition. He keeps his eye on the future and is blinded for the now, like many of us when it comes to lovers. People get cast aside for reasons like ‘My parents would not like them’ ‘I do not need the extra baggage’ or those who stop talking to you when they find out your sick.. no matter how perfect you are in terms of compatibility doesn’t matter if you delay their dream.. the dream is often more important than the one to fulfill the dream with. Ash dream was to become a pokémon master and those he travels with too complete it are secondary. Ash journey has been long and so much potential happiness got wasted, while in actuality all he needed to say to Misty or Serena are the words I someday hope to hear from a girl.
“I Choose You’

This concludes my first OWLS post. It might seem like I am bitter, but I am not really. I just question the concept people have of lovers. I am perfectly happy without one as well. Because I do not strive for that perfect little future don’t have the ambition. For all I know I might drop dead before I ever get there so I try to strive for something much more controllable. Happiness in the now and happiness as my truest self. Only by doing that one day I might be a good lover myself.

For more ,probably less cynical talk, about lovers why don’t you try Shay’s thought it’s up since the 14th! All you have to do for some of their content is clicking right here! From the 16th on Auri will have something special for you on this link. If you are like me, super impatient, here you can visit them at their home page right here for a quick follow or reading what they are all about.

Now if you haven’t clicked of here yet do leave a comment. Applications for lovers may or may not be taken seriously depending on how much wine I had by the time I am reading your comment.

Question to my Readers

Which Ash & Companion do you ship?

The Pinkest Poké Blogger is blasting off again.
XO
Pinkie