Humor – Pinkie's Paradise

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie is back with a Geeky Lifestyle post

Salutations Loyal Subjects and Sweet Island Guests, as many of you know I prefer the lifestyle of randomness and I like this random element in my every day! I try to include this so much that I for a while now have been even making a lot of my blogging content random! Every so often I google for a Random Question Generator and then roll a few questions for myself which I then promptly answer! Here is yet another Edition! I did not choose these questions! They got randomly generated

Random Question 1: What could you do with two million dollar to impact the most people.

First of all , that doesn’t feel like great english! So I am already dreading what else this thing might spit out of me! Secondly I would not use two million dollar to impact the most people. I’d look out for me! I’d turn myself into a V-Tuber including some expensive vocal coaching so I can talk better again and win over as many souls as I can that way and live my dream career for a bit. But that is not the question, even though I lack plenty of resources to be the V-Tuber I want.. I HAVE to spend the two million dollar to impact the most people that I could.

The obvious answer would be to give 200.000.000 people one single cent from my stash. Yet I doubt I could find 200.000.000 people that would be impressed by me giving them a cent. I could also get a big speech out to the public in which I talk about acceptance and belonging, however without leverage like a celebrity, that will not go far. Gilbert Gottfried might do that thing where he records messages for money now…but that might not be enough! Though I would love him to say Visit Pinkie’s Paradise blog…either way in any scenario so some money is going towards that. If we look at the question though… we do not have to do good! We just have to affect as many as possible! In that case Altruism might be to expensive! At least for good deeds to make a true impact. Honestly if I would have to impact people.. without context just as a way of a high score thing or something, I’d probably try to impact people in a negative way. As the question is, I would have to answer what I think I could do with my money to have the largest influence on peoples live… and that would be through evil.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’d by a bunch of knives and gank random people.. even though that will be a big influence on many people’s life I would not be able to do that. Yet instead I would spend the money on posters. A picture or a little clip of me pouring a bottle of crystal down the drain while laughing. Text shows up…saying something like “You work hard every day… yet somehow I got two million to piss off a bunch of people! HAHAHAHAHA “ People would share how horrible of a person I am EVERYWHERE! I’d be cancelled and never find a job again.. but everyone knows I am that girl that randomly got two million and spent it on some petty stuff. That would truly be the way to reach the most people. I’d hate it very much.. but in the modern world negativity travels further than positivity.. and strictly for the purpose of this question this would be my answer.

Would I do that?! No.. would I spend the money to help others? Yes! Just never would I go out to help “the most amount “. I’d treat my friends and my mother to all kinds of things and as a VTuber I would spread positivity around, but I will reach who I will reach! I would never spend my money to “help” as much people as possible because I truly believe that the watered down happiness of the many do not outweigh a pure moment of happiness for a smaller group (Mind you.. group! Not individual). I believe that if I can make someone (that is not me) genuine laugh and have a memory they cherish for a lifetime, it would be worth way more than to give an entire army some breath mints or something. I would never actively make people unhappier to get my or my friends happiness.. unless of course it is needed to answer a question.

Random Question 2 What do you strongly suspect but have no proof of.

The Hat Man | Myths and Lore | Sinister Coffee and Creamery

So many things! Pretty sure there are alien among us! True vampires might exist and friendship may indeed be magic! However these are not the thing I most strongly suspect! I have written about this topic before. I am a firm believer in ghosts and there might even be something stronger than a ghost in my life right now! I am not even sure if it is good! I sometimes feel stalked at night.. by something ominous, something powerful. I have no idea what it wants from me, but I am not sure if it is out to harm me. I do know it is there! It rarely enters my bedroom but stands in the door opening when I leave the door open, even though it doesn’t seem to use doors. I am not sure on the how and the what but I have a general idea of its size and shape. It is quite tall and husky.. if it stands in my doorframe it barely fits.. it has pointy ears and I associate it with “black and orange.. a dirty variant.. almost rust/earth like” Not that it has colours.. but they pop to mind!

I do not know what it is, it might be just a manifestation of my social anxieties, maybe it is the panic of my own mortality, but I know it isn’t bound to my house! It sometimes follows me on walks as well. It seems to prey on me the moments I find peace and rest. Like when I am watching ducks in my local pond I suddenly hear all sorts of twigs snap behind me and that sensation of someone standing behind me pops up. If I go for a stroll through town it is as if it is whispering my name, and at night it is kinda like a stalker giving me feelings of dread. I have not really pissed off any romani old ladies, or solved mysterious puzzle boxes, yet it kinda feels personal.

I do not know if it is a real “demon” or if it is a manifestation of my insecurities and anxieties.. but whatever it is.. it is present. I kind of feel it might be hate a person has towards me, that manifested. Maybe it is the entire world’s negativity towards me manifested in one. I do not know, but I do know that for now it can’t really hurt me! It can bother me.. but it can’t hurt me! Just like those looks on the streets when I walk by in something pink and lolitaish or if I geek it up. They world can stare at me menacingly but they can’t hurt me.. and whatever the thing in the night is, it acts in a very similar way. However at times it feels much more present.. like it is disrupting my aura or chakra, as if my body works less efficiently if it stares at me.. and it triggers some.. primal instinct.

Random Question 3 If you were in charge of Renaming things so that their name would be more accurate, what names would you come up with?

Alrighty! I like this question! So let’s use a few words that are important for my VTuber/Blogging Career. Let’s start with the word blog! Being derived from the world Weblog it seems pretty perfect right? Yet most of us do not really log anything. A blog now almost applies to any form of online written content… if we write a review .. it’s a blog post.. if Kotaku or IGN write a review, it is not?! What’s up with that?! Some blogs are even just pictures! So most blogs are more a form of Written Online Content. Or Wrontent if you want to make it a portmanteau. Which is opposed to Vontent, which is video online content. Speech based online content would be Sontent. Though most Vlogs are actually logs so those can stay I guess.

Next word I would replace is the word simp. I still want one but it is very non descriptive and the definition of the world is less than set in stone. A simp could be someone who is a fan who likes anyone you do (it is preferable that you present as female for this to occur) or someone who idolises you so much they send you their money, treat you like a friend and potential mate and act according to that romantic availability while you have no interest in them at all. The latter is kind of closer to the true definition of the word but loser-fanboy might be too negative , even though it pretty much covers the meaning. Loser not persé in the life sense but in the fact that he will never win you. Since the name Karen has taken on a meaning of it’s own I have come up with a perfect name to cover the meaning of simp. The name of Luigi. Luigi always blindly supports Mario and even more so Princess Peach. While Mario gets a slice of cake and a kiss, Luigi often gets jack diddley yet when the princess calls for help.. Luigi is there. He is not even mentioned in the title of the game most of the time. He only gets mildly acknowledged.. so I think a Luigi is a perfect replacement word for a Simp

The final word I would like to replace is the word VTuber itself. Virtual YouTubers for the most part DO NOT ACTUALLY STREAM on Youtube. Most of them are on Twitch, half of those are more active on twitter. Vtubers are also often so much more than just streamers. They are beloved characters and people seperate from their operator and creators. In a way Korone and Gura are more “real” than whomever is sitting behind their webcams. They mean so much to so many people! They might be closer to their truest selves as well. So I like the word Veople and Verson better for them. Virtual People and Virtual Person. The virtual person has their own life and can be an extension of the person but they can also co-exist. Just because you are interested in Gura the Verson doesn’t give you the right to know what the person behind the model does. This could also lead to Versons being able to just act out a persona on actual camera rather than requiring a model/avatar. It could also encompass a person you like to be.

Arty By PokeyPokums! But It Totally shows VTubers being Veople!

Final Random Question : If you were forced to create a new Dance move what would it be and what would it be called?

I kind of would get why someone would give me two million to try to make people as miserable as possible, that would qualify as a social experiment .. but why would anyone ever force me to create a dance move?! Maybe Gloria Estefan is actually evil and the rhythm IS gonna get me but I find that unlikely! As well as me being targeted for the creation of a new dance move. I have no style , I have no grace, if you include me it takes THREE to tango..possibly four. I have zero dancing skill! Most times I have danced I have fallen off something, concussed myself (true story) or nearly killed some other people on a stage with me (exaggeration.. but still mostly true). I am so wooden that gym teachers excused me from certain gym events because there was such a large risk I would hurt myself. When I considered going to my school gala/prom, teachers asked me “REALLY?!” So I should not create a dance.

However with whatever psychopath out there that would force me to dance, there is only one option available to me. That would be falling down. When I dance it is an inevitability that it happens so I would create a limbo like move where I fall back first . Then when you get up, you do so in the most convoluted way possible to a beat! Think of it as a combination of break dancing and playing twister on the music beat. Left Arm Red, Right arm Green… Boom-Boom-Boom- Push up… Left Leg Red, Leg Blue! Boom-boom-boom-Push up! Slide… get up– boom boom boom! Stand! Now I would not be able to pull if off with grace nor is that my intention. I simply wish to achieve that as soon as I fall again people will think I did it on purpose.

As for a name.. maybe the Bruiser?! The Slip?! Or maybe the Topside Twister. Yes that last one seems like a good one! You play Twister.. to get topside! Maybe I try to tie in some fake hawaiian lore and call it the Ah-Hau just so when I fall and cry out in pain it seems like part of the dance as well. I am not afraid that people who force me to make a new move will see trough the fact that I am bluffing up some Haiwan lore.. after all they really did not do their homework in selecting me to come up with a move , so I doubt they will know anything about hawaiian culture. Bluffing is all this move is about anyway! It’s all the dancing skills I got! So let’s do the Topside Twister.. on the island known as the Ah-Hau and let’s try to stay out of the hospital! Or at least let’s try to break as few bones as possible

What would you do when presented with these questions?! Any new words for us to use? Maybe you have a dance move I can pull off?! Or maybe you just want to ramble here about your daughter taking pictures of her cat with a new Iphone..before sending me to an extra Proxies domain?! No matter who you are I’d love to talk! Stay Random!

Top of the day to you my little Watsons. As one may have noticed I am somewhat inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s brainchild, Sherlock Holmes, the best detective in entire Galar. However Princess Pinkie told me that there factually is one detective that is greater than mister Holmes. She did seem pretty sure of herself and I could not detect a lie. The detective she said is factually better goes by the name of Bruce Wayne… but when crime is about he turns into… Zubatman!… At least that is what she told me. Wayne seems to be intelligent but not as great as my beloved inspiration, so I can only deduce that this bat-person is the greater detective because of their use of gadgets. In an attempt to further myself as a detective I will look for some to make my own utility belt.

Pokeball Chargers 10,000 mAh

These days we do everything by smartphone! That goes for detective work as well. Not only can I research leads on my 4g internet, this nifty device also allows me to take pictures of evidence, record my own voice to hypothesise or even record others. It also allows me to follow some criminal scum on weird applications called Instagram, Facebook or recently WordPress. The Smartphone is thusly the main and most trusted gadget of a detective. Much like in those sony product placement James Bond movies like Casino Royale. They could do everything for him, they can do so for the world’s pinkest detective as well. The problem with these nifty devices however is the fact that they have a shorter lifespan than Yamcha when facing a Saibaman. Luckily we can compensate by using the power that is inside these Pokéballs. Quite literally in fact. These capture devices can be hooked up to your phone to provide some much needed oomph for your quickly drainable device. Coming in at about 20 american dollars, they are fairly cheap, depending on where you live in the world and what politician would drive your country of the edge of course.Their look is nothing shy of phenomenal, they look just like the real thing with a nice glow when you wield them. Fooling everyone you are trying to spy on that you are just a regular trainer. A great bit of Pokémon parefeniia to collect. They come in three variations, regular pokeball, great ball and master ball. Now we will just have to wait for the love ball variant to release and this detective is good to go.

Pokémon disguises

Sometimes a great detective has to bland in her environment Be unseen, yet still be there. Imagine my surprise when I found out that pokemon disguises can be really cheap in this world. They are called onesies and there is a LOT of them out there. Coming in as cheap as only $9 dollars , not using my own currency but american dollars as it is usually the standard chosen price online. Of course there are pricier ones out there, but the point is we can put together a disguise collection for relatively little money. It is the perfect way to sneak up on a Pokémon Go player who is catching in AR mode or to infiltrate the base of an evil team. They also keep you rather warm and snuggly in your homestead! In fact they are excellent apparel for a lazy sunday or a rainy evening. Keeping you nice and toasty.
A detective should always keep their minds sharp and relaxing in a onesie at the proper time can certainly make this happen. These multifunctional infiltration suits double as a mental soothing contraption and thus are a must have for the pinkest detective.

A robot sidekick

My Ditto called Evidence is a great sidekick to have don’t get me wrong, but being imaginative really hurts it’s practicality. In this day and age I also can not get a young boy or girl to join me on my crusade against crime or people would think ill of me. I tried training a cat once, but PETA showed up and said I could not and when I tried to recruit someone on the sidekick reddit, this government guy showed up at my door telling me I’d need to pay them minimum wage… which is more than what I get! So, with no options left looked to see if there was a gadget that could help me out. Lo and behold the UchiPika Pikachu Robot. For about $58 dollars, excluding shipping you can own this robotic tiny pikachu what bobs it head in such a nice and sweet manner that no bad guy would ever think to harm it. It will teach you some basic japanese, as you need that to control it, which is nice because the more language you speak the more chance you have to overhear some good clues. UchiPika however is a lot more functional than just a training tool. Like a proper electric Pokémon it has the power to turn on electronic devices such as a tv, which is perfect to create diversions and create an opportunity for the detectives to sneak by into another room to continue their evidence gathering. Judging on the commercial I show below it can also create EMP pulse to shut down electronic devices such as lights. This already makes it so much more useful to that homeless man i once tried to hire as a sidekick. He asked for change so I figured turning his life into something heroic would be just the change he needed, he disagreed and tried to steal my kidney. Should such a case ever happen again now though I will be prepared, because I have UchiPika.. and he knows Jūman Volt (Thunder Bolt) so the toy is a taser as well. Though my japanese is a bit rusty it may not EXACTLY work like that, but we shall see.

The Pokérang

Batman has these little bat boomerangs he throws which he seems to be using to great effectiveness. We can deduce such a gadget must certainly work. Not having access to any of Wayne Enterprises production companies , I was forced to scour the net for a replacement. I think I found the perfect devices to use. They are called fidget spinners. A long time ago these enjoyed some popularity but in this day and age , no one seems to really care for them, making it plausible the aspiring detective/superhero can buy them in bulk for cheap. Unfortunately the cheapest one I found, was one featuring a Pikachu design coming in at about 18 dollars , for a tossable that is a bit steep and that one had blunt edges. The one I would prefer has edges. I found it online for 44 …. well I don’t exactly know the currency, the page was in arab and the currency symbol look strange to me as well. More research is needed, but who knows if 44 , unknown arab currency equals like 4 dollars I might be able to know the guns out of people’s hand with some obsolete gadget soon. If nothing else it can at least help me relax while I wait for my Pikabot!

The Pikachu evidence collector

Gathering evidence is an important task of a detective. As Pikachu is a detective himself he knows this to be true, so it makes sense that this evidence collector device has been fabricated with his face on it. The concept of this device is very simple. You carry a portable vault with you once you put evidence on the button on top of the vault the device will crack open a little bit as a pikachu made of plastic will come out and paw the evidence inside the vault for safekeeping. A wonderful device to assist any detective. Pikachu does however seem to be kind of fickle in the type of evidence he collects. He seems to function best when a small flat disclike metal object is placed on the button. Peculiar he is so picky because anything can be evidence. Luckily it also works with dried up gum, which can contain dna evidence and when combined with these discs or even with a regular coin it can also rake in hairs and other small materials. However with the average price of $30 I would have hoped for just a little bit more practicality. Nonetheless. since Pikabot will not collect evidence having this Pikachu do it is still better than not collecting it at all? Why I can’t collect it myself? Well because I am ZUBATGIRL!

Now that we are equipped with gadgets maybe Princess Pinkiie will stop picking on me! Thank you for helping me find these gadgets little Watsons or is it little Robins…little Tailows? Maybe little SideKricketots? Let me know your preferred nickname and your favorite gadget in the comments! Stay sharp my junior detectives and remember!
I am not weird just very pink!
Until we read again.

Tag: Humor

Pinkie does Random Stuff on the Internet: Random Question Generator Part 4