Gotta Make Em All: Turning Summer Into a Pokémon

Greetings Pleasants. I made a promise to my dear Blogging Bestie that I would turn her into a Pokémon! I have turned Indigo, Irina and Myself into a Pokémon before! So my bestie deserved this as well…. then stuff happened that every writer goes trough and “crisis” happened. Now however the time has finally come to redeem that promise! And we find out what Summer would have been… had she been a pokémon!

Also check out her blog!

The Typing of Summer

My best friend on the blogosphere is really easy to classify into pokémon typings. So much so that she has an abundance of typings available to her. She is a self proclaimed pixie, so the fairy type would be an obvious pick! That would mean I pretty much define everyone ever with the Fairy Type though. It’s my favourite type and while I definitely think Summer is a pixie I think the way how pokémon stereotypes people and pokémon she would actually not fall under that typing. You see, Pokémon quite likes to stereotype, iconography that is immediately clear on why it’s that. Maybe with Summer you’d have to look a bit before you see the pixie! Besides, people seem to quite dislike a lot of humanoid pokémon…or REALLY like them … in the wrong way. I do not want that to happen to Summer! So instead I looked at what would the eye see! After all.. in Pokémon.. if a Pokémon is Blue…. it is PROBABLY a water type! If it is green.. it’s probably a grass type and so on!

Pokemon: 3-Stage Families - Water Types by quintonshark8713 on DeviantArt

Summer and I share a diary in which we write and Summer writes a lot about plants, nature and her cute wooden fence! Besides that she is a witch, I assume she is Wiccan, though I am not fully sure we ever truly specified, which has deep connections with nature as well. So I feel like making her a grass type would be a fairly logical pick! She is a type of person I like to have by my side. I am not to keen on using water types, it feels so Vanilla.. but in 90% of my parties you will find a Grass Type and a Fairy Type. So by choosing grass as her main typing she’d be always by my side… Well I say that.. but in the design section I will track back on that point a bit.. but regardless, the grass type is a great base typing for my friend! It is nurturing, but also durable, it can release powerful attacks with patience or support allies. That very much feels like Summer! She endures and blooms!

Grass Energy (TCG) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia

For her secondary typing we have many, many options! As a witch the psychic type makes a lot of sense, but I don’t want her to be a grass variant of Delphox or a Celebi clone. Besides, Summer might like bugs as well! I am not sure about that one..but she feels like she would talk to bees outside to pollinate her flowers! I could make a rock type joke.. but I won’t! Fairy was viable as well! Yet for some reason when I imagine Summer, I always imagine her “element” is air. I do not why.. that’s just what my inner me tells me! So she’d initially be a Grass flying type! She lives near vegas so she would not like the cold I assume! .. Though she loves snow she said! Still…. I think the winds symbolise the wisdom and embracing nature of Summer very well. There is another type that fits her very well.. but that one is for the design.

Designing Summer

Grandmother Willow By Talesof - Grandmother Willow PNG Image | Transparent PNG Free Download on SeekPNG

While I had some difficulty coming up with a good design for Irina and John/Indigo with Summer I immediately had this picture in my head! Like I said Pokémon likes to stereotype and Summer has a few very distinguishable features! She is a fair bit older than most other bloggers out there so I feel her design would kind of lean into that! It also works very nicely with the theming of nature! We haven’t had much of an ancient nature spirit! There is Celebi.. and in fairness, Celebi is already a perfect depiction for Summer. It literally is a nature protecting Pixie spirit thing! So if I were to give all those I made a Pokémon for a real Pokémon counterpart, mine would be Sylveon, Indigo’s would be Bisharp and Irina would be Froslass I do want to do something special for Summer though… and I kind of imagine her being this great and mighty willow tree. You know, like the one from Pocahontas.. I hated that movie, and I think she might too but the design of the grandmother willow always stuck with me.

A willow tree naturally already includes the wind element in it a bit it’s design but for Summer I want to make it more of an element. She has other pokemon dancing on her wind, imagine cutiefly and ribombee but also comfy dancing around the gales that come from the tree. She would be like a mother to all Pokémon.. where Mew is the genetic parent of all Pokémon, Summer would be it’s caretaker, their eternal guardian… not so much of the Pokémon itself.. but the fragile ecosystem that houses them. As such it would only be fitting to make her a legendary pokémon. Saying it like this makes her sound a lot like Xerneas but again, Xenereas is more fauna based while Summer would represent balance in Flora.. and general nature more. Since the grandmother Cedar is a true story in Ojibwe Native American culture, I decided to base her pokémon name on the Ojibwe name for willow, which is Oziisigobimizh. Which might need some tweaking. The Ojibwe word for Grandmother is Nookomis.. which is a lot easier to adapt. We will change it to Nakomis , to be a portmanteau of Nookomis and Nature (as I found no Ojibwe word for Nature.. just for Napkin).

Nakomis would however get a second form! Much like Darmanitan, she would have an ability to change mode Somehow Darmanitan goes Zen Mode when he takes damage and takes on an extra typing. Her ability we will call Nature’s Fury! It will not trigger on herself.. but when an ally in her party is on low hp and she is switched in! If this occurs Nakomis will deroot herself from the earth to punch her enemies away with her massive power! Summer used to be a bodybuilder and was approached for martial art stuff as well.. so her being a vengeful nature warrior would make a lot of sense, and it would just be a Pokémon that otherwise would always be rooted in the round! The roots hold the earth together though.. so it would explain her ground type immunity while being a flying type! Now though she is no longer a cheerful protector..in offensive mode… those who put her in that mode.. have to go and they can only be taught the harshest of lessons!

*So I did fail the art a bit this time.. but it’s just an indication!*

Pokédex Entries for Summer

Nakomis would be a legendary Pokémon, but it would not be a legendary box art! Instead she would most likely be part of a legendary trio. Having some native american element to it, they would be represented in parts of a totem. The Tree that nurtures nature, the “Sunbird/Roc” that guides humanity and the predator that keeps Pokémon from rampaging. The predator being depicted as some kind of seaweed/moss-like wolf-shark hybrid. Respectively a Fire Flying type that gains the rock type when there is at least two fainted Pokémon in the party for the Sunbird/Roc” and a Water Flying type that gains the electric type if hit by a super effective move. They represent the entire spectrum of live together and would be known as the Totem Trio. Their Pokédex entries would describe how they differ from each other:

Nakomis: The wisest and most tranquil of the Totem Trio! Her roots are so deep in the earth, Nakomis can use them to sense threats to nature anywhere on this gloves! Her essence can travel on her own wind to aid where she needs! When her allies suffer Nakomis awakens and will not rest until the assailant is dragged into the earth where it will remain snared in her roots forever.

The second entry in the mirror game would talk more about their origins.

Nakomis: Believed to be the spirit of a tribes woman who loved Nature so much! Every day she would come to take care of this ancient Willow Tree.. yet one day the wind only brought her spirit to the tree.. and they became a single entity.

The trio would basically be, a human taking care of nature, a pokémon/animal taking care of humanity and a plant creature taking care of Pokémon. To bring everything into balance. There would be a few tribes scattered across the Pokémon World and depending on which of the trio is depicted at the top would be the one the tribe worships the most. By finding some ancient tables and linking humans to protecting nature, you can enter the sanctuary of the ancient tree Nakomis. Where the player would be able to capture her. The tribe would tell those who capture Nakomis, that this is but one manifestation off her She can seemingly teleport on winds to wherever she is needed, as can the others of the totem trio. On the spot where Nakomis would be, there would already be a new sprite! Implying this might be the first legendaries that exist multiple times! However it would be hinted that all Nakomis are the same being and would not be able to fight herself in a Pokémom battle.

The Totem Trio does seem to battle each other throughout history a few times though! For example a forest fire that decimated some woods, but created fertile land for man to grow crops would be marked as Nakomis losing to Ondaaman (The FIreBird ) Makéigan (the aquatic plant wolf) losing to Nakomis could happen if pokémon/animals got sick from eating some of the berries meant for smaller species who can’t eat other things or simply nature overtaking an animals former hunting ground. All in all these pokémon would be mentioned on a fairly regular basis in rumors and names. Some may simply say: Our town used to stretch out way more north.. but the forest overtook it all, I guess the spirit of the grandmother proved stronger than our ambition. Stuff like that!

Summer’s Role

Aromatherapy (move) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia

Giving a legendary a role is quite hard! They usually are very mixed and do everything quite well! Some things are better than others for sure.. but their base stats are usually so high it doesn’t really matter. In Summer’s case, she would have a much more specific role! Summer isn’t the type to immediately spring into action! She would be more tactical about it! She has endurance! So I feel like Nakomis stats would tend to be more on the defensive side. She would have a lot of HP and very good special defence and normal defence would be solid as well! In this form her moveset would probably rely on her casting tricks. Stuff like Tailwind to boost the speed of her team, using Spore to lull enemies to sleep and then use moves like Horn Leech and Drain Punch to keep her own life force up! She would probably use a lot of draining moves as nothing goes to waste. She would get full support move sets as well, moves like Wish/Healing Wish, Aromatherapy or Purify would all be great to run on a Nakomis.

The Battle mode of Nakomis, does still rely on moves like Horn Leech and Drain Punch, but it would also feature moves like Leech Life and ironically, toxic, nature itself can clearly use toxins to defend itself. Strength Sap and Giga Drain would be other moves that could be ran on her! She gets no moves that “just” damage the opponent (well toxic maybe). All moves have to have a heal effect. THis can include status though! So moves like Smelling Salts, or Wake Up Slap still can be run on her, as they do have a secondary effect that implies healing. This does mean her fairy move usability is limited to draining kiss, but hey she can also learn the fairy move moonlight! While in her combat form, her offensive stats inverse with her defensive stats so she becomes more fragile but able to deal more damage! She is very slow though! This means players do have to balance healing themselves and their allies quite a bit! But it will be a fun Legendary to use. Her supportive nature represents how the world arounds us allows us to grow and thrive but if we damage it to deeply nature will strike back.

Hands Holding Earth Globe. Earth In Human Hands Isolated On A White Background, Sketch Style Vector Illustration Stock Vector - Illustration of care, australia: 178885143

The Plant Wolf thing Makéigan would start out as a a physical attacker, that swaps into a speedy sweeper, (hoping that he faces already damaged pokemon to now properly outspeed them and take their little remaining hp down). It gets a mix of priority moves but also heavy damaging physical moves. It represents how a wild animal at first will attack without reservation.. or feast on a large meal.. but in order to survive it must adapt and get smarter.
Ondaarman would change from a special attacker into a physical attacker. Symbolising that lessons to humans are first tried to be bestowed by words ..but if humans refuse to learn from each other eventually man will turn violent and try to teach the lesson through force.

Thus all of them in their own way guide those who face them to adapt and live a better way and keep everything in balance.. and that is what I think Summer’s Pokémon lore would be! Nakomis is my newest Pokémon!

So how about you?! Would you like to become a Pokémon?! What Pokémon would you have made based on Summer?! Let me know in the comments and who knows, you might become a pokémon too , if you let me!

Gotta Make Em All: Turning Pinkie into a Pokémon

Hear Ye Hear Ye Princess Pinkie has returned with a Pokémon Post

Salutations , Loyal Subjects and Island Guests. I am a creative writer in spirit, and a concept designer in blood! As a result I often find myself pondering questions like “what if Irina was A Pokémon ” or “What if Indigo was a Pokémon”? On this blog I answered these questions. These posts enjoyed moderate success but never did as well as “less creative” posts. So I forgot about them for a while.. but I decided to bring this back! What better way to start with the most obvious omission in my lineup so far! Myself! What would I be like as a Pokémon?!

The Typing of Pinkie

Like the two that have come before me, to design me as a Pokémon we first need to find out what typing I am. My primary typing of course is super easy! It would be the fairy type! Not only is it represented by the colour pink, it also has that whole spirit and cutesie vibe I often try to go for! If I had the money I would totally be wearing lolita clothing a lot, and fill my house with adorable plushies and sweets and what not! I love the fairy typing to bits! From it’s attack esthetics to the way it functions. I am really afraid of metal things oftenly.. it seems so painful to me, and I am sickly and prone to diseases so a weakness to the steel and poison type makes perfect sense to me. I like to break through guys/warriors types by cuteness and charm so my strength against the fighting type would also be explained.
In general I really like how the fairy type works and I am pretty sure it fits me as well. So obviously I will stick with it! It means I can use a lot more pink in my design.

The second typing is where things get tricky for me! There are a few options. There is a good case for the psychic type, as I love mind games and reading people and in real life I am a bit of a manipulator. Not Persé in the bad sense, but rather than convince people to give me what I want, I’ll be more inclined to convince people they want to give that to me.An example is when I would go out back in the days with friends, I would not tell them I really want to go to club A. I would look at what they want and try to connect that to Club A so their desire changes to align with mine. Mind tricks if you will! Yet there is a bit of a problem! In general in Pokémon , that is not really how the psychic type works! It is more about brute mental power and telekinesis, and even though I do believe I can use telekinesis I just have not figured out how yet.. it might not be the best typing to convey this idea of the puppeteer.

A typing that I think would fit this idea much better would be the ghost type! With moves like Spite, Curse and their being prone to learn moves like Dream Eater and Nightmare fits me a lot better. It also offers me a reason to become a pokémon! I am not the healthiest person in the world. I have come face to face with the limits of my own mortality and I even crossed it once. Part of the reason that I have this blog is to live on, after I leave the land of the living. To leave some ideas and my voice behind and let it reach places it could not travel otherwise. This whole living on metaphor could be a great way to become a pokémon! I one day woke up beside my body but refused to pass on so I became a ghost Pokémon.. not in the somber way but as in a spirit that wants to experience more from this world even though life has already passed me by! An embodiment of Joy de Vivre of loving life and it’s adventure.

Designing Pinkie

Banette (Pokémon) - Bulbapedia, the community-driven Pokémon encyclopedia — Banette

Now that we have established my typing we can move onto the design phase. A Unicorn Duck Pokémon would be the most obvious choice. Yet I feel that would be a little bit too obvious. I will include some design elements of that in here, but I feel I want to take this design in a bit of a different direction. My Pokémon Counterpart unlike other ghosts should not feel particularly cursed. She is not sad she is dead. Rather than that she takes a page out of School Live’s book and rather would deny she is dead. She wants to have more fun and wants to live more! And while that sometimes comes at the cost of other peoples she would want to present things cutely, as it would get things done. I would think a cute Pokémon Name for me would be Vidolly. A basic design content I think that would fit me very well is the idea of a haunted doll. Kind of like how Banette is a discarded plushie, though kind of the other way around. Instead of a toy that got discarded and became vengeful, this is a beloved toy that became that host for it’s passed away owner. Bound together by love to give their owner a second chance at “life”

Of course it would be a very princessy doll! Though in canon there might be several variations based on the Lolitha variants. Stuff like Sweet Lolita, Goth Lolita , Punk Lolita and Wa lolita. Hime Lolita seemed like a logical choice but from a design perspective it looks a lot like Sweet Lolita so I am combining the two. Let’s go with the name Hime-Form Vidolly, Goth-Form Vidolly, etc. For those who don’t know what Wa form Vidolly would be, it would be something more traditional Japanese. More elaborate versions of Kimono and Yukata like designs. When summoned out of their Pokéball or as a basic attack animation a Vidolly would shoot out shadowing strings almost like a puppeteer which then would form the attack they are performing or hit their enemy to try and manipulate them.

Vidolly would statistically be around the stat total of Mawile or Absol.. a slight bit higher making it more relevant like their mega Counterparts. Yet not fully a mega, so somewhere in between. It would not evolve from or into a Pokémon. A cool alternative idea would be to make it an alternative evolution for Shuppet that needs an item, but I would like to keep this pokémon Genderless if possible.. you know to simulate my Panda-ness! I would prefer if the Vidolly would be static encounters you can find across the world in certain places, after midnight. It would be a cool capture mechanic that fits the ghost theme. The pokémon would get two abilities based on if you recently changed the clock of your game or not. If you did the ability Vidolly would get is Manipulator, which disables a random move on the target it is switched in against. (Like cursed body but random and not upon hit but upon entry) If you haven’t switched your clock within the past 48 hours Vidolly would get the ability Life Lust, where each move with a secondary effect would heal 50% of damage given instead. IOW all moves with secondary effects turn into leech life.

Pokédex Entries for Pinkie

A good ghost pokémon pokédex entry makes you read it and go “wow, that’s rather dark” Vidolly’s story is a bit more uplifting but there will be some implications here. With a very basic entry along the lines of something like “ Even Death could not take away her will to live, so once the girl took her final breath her life force instead of passing on moved into her favourite doll, wanting to experience life once again and share this joy with others” It is both a tragic and a good fate! This is a ghost which has gotten a second life rather than something that is defined as “dead”. Sure the second life is as a ghost..but since a Pokémon still is kinda alive she is also alive! It will be up for debate, which will be the angle of her secondary angle. “Scientists can’t agree if Vidolly is alive or dead, her will to live inside an inanimate object baffles scientists everywhere. Vidolly considers herself very much alive and will enjoy life at any cost”

Cloud & Crane ~ Kimono Style Wa Lolita Dress by OCELOT — **^{Wa Style Lolita! Just imagine this as a porcelain doll!}**

Vidolly, as an unevolving ghost much like Mimikyu, would be a static encounter. Meeting her would be tricky like I said before. She only shows up at four different places. The Goth Vidolly would show up at midnight in the ghost tower, graveyard or ghost or dark type gym! Each Pokémon game always has an area like this, a place of mourning or dark energy or something like that. She will be the most obvious version to find. Wa form Vidolly would show up at more classic locations, something like “the hot springs” , the “japanese restaurant” the “Kimono girl house”. Temples would be a fine location for her as well or if anything else fails at the entrance of the Pokémon League. It’s the traditional variant so something with a bit of status or mysticism to it. Punk Vidolly is found at a location that is basically the opposite of Wa-Vidolly. She is most likely found in a location filled with technology (as Punk Lolita’s mostly have steampunk designs) such as the evil team base that has been abandoned after you defeat them. Perhaps something like the Pokémon Mansion from Kanto where Mewtwo was designed. At worst at the Pokémon lab.. as long as it is not in the started town.. because……….

The version that I identify with, Hime-Vidolly, would be the most tricky one to get.. or the easiest one once you know how. Because I am a Pokémon player and the ghost princess deserves something special as well, Hime-Vidolly would only show up in the players house after midnight. Now of course this seems like a super easy catch, but it is not! Not exactly! You would find a rumor mid way in the game. The previous owner of my house just vanished without a trace a npc would say.. Now every night I get a feeling something is watching over me. It would be a hint that to find Hime-Vidolly you need to create a character.. then delete your old save to start with a new character. In other words.. The ghost that possesses Hime-Vidolly is that of the player’s former character. Here the non-gendered character comes into play again as it would work for both a male or female avatar, even though Vidolly will identify as female in all her dex entries and in the anime. I think it is a nice twist and just enough ghosty darkness to make Hime-Vidolly a fan favourite.

Pinkie’s Role

Vidolly would not be the most offensive Pokémon out there, nor would she be the worst. She would be a special attacker that focuses on controlling the momentum of the battlefield. Vidolly uses moves like Sweet Kiss, or Lovely Kiss to confuse an enemy or put them to sleep, or even both. This isn’t to say she is a flirt but more like a soothing presence people like and find hard to hit. I would replace kiss with hug to make it more clean and in line with the character but these I can assure you would be platonic kisses. From there Vidolly would proceed to use offensive moves like Hex and Dream-eater on her manipulator set or Moonblast on her Life-Lust set. Moves like Curse will also show up in her repertoire. As a result she has a very mixed stat pool, slightly on the more bulky side. She’d be fairly similar to Chansey, where she has a LOT of HP! Opposed to Chansey she is better at fighting off physical moves than special moves. She isn’t as bulky as Chansey though as she will have some special attacks as well. Her physical attack would be lower than even Shuckles or Magikarps.

One of the Vidolly would excel in double battles. Her Manipulator version could disable a move while with disable she blocks a second one off. Allowing you to gain momentum on your Pokémon. Life Lust Vidolly is better at single battles. Where she functions as a hard physical wall that can put to sleep anything that switches in. She would work very well on entry hazard teams. Her speed is not great but most Pokémon that know Rapid Spin would start off slower so depending on her calls, she can overcome this by utilising sleep. Encore might be a good move to put on her if you put some speed IV’s into her as she is immune to three typings and because of her high health pool, she rarely gets oneshot. Gengar would be her worst enemy though! In PVE Life Lust Vidolly is without a doubt the better version of the two! It’s healing and high number of immunities make her a great pick up for Nuzlockes as well. Her special attack stat would be around the 80/90 is area so while not amazing it would be respectable enough to use her!

A final special thing about Vidolly is how she would react to your friendship building mechanics. All modern games have something that builds friendship or lives with Pokémon. Usually this involves playing (minigames) with them and feeding them. Vidolly would be able to play by herself! A quirk. If you throw a ball in Pokémon Camp in Galar, Vidolly instead of returning it would go off with it and play by herself.. perhaps with other pokémon as well but she would not give you the toys back! If we see the return for Pokémon Amie, and the minigames when you are leveling up with Vidolly you will notice that sometimes the game plays by itself or your controls suddenly invert. Nothing to major but just something to show you Vidolly is having some fun herself! I honestly think they should do this to more Ghost Pokémon..but now that I am one I’d tell you, I would definitely steal your game.. so I could have more fun!

And that is me as a Pokémon! I As well as create an entire species of Pokémon with it! I will work on making my bestie Summer into a Pokémon next. She asked once before and then stuff happened and it never happened but now I am ready! If you want to be turned into a pokémon let me know! I will make it happen! What do you think of Vidolly? What would you imagine yourself as a Pokémon to be like?! Let me know in the comments! I will see you all in my next post! Stay Random!

Random Video Game Duck: Pinkie Plays Time Lord (NES)

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with a gaming post!

Salutations, Loyal Subjects and Sweet Island Guests. One of the hardest things of a content creator is content selection! Now as I grow more discontent about reviewing, I decided to spice them up a bit! I wanted to do Reviews on Random content! Even video games! I love Retro Games and the way I used to play games in the past is go to your local video store and rent some video games! Only back then there was no internet! You randomly picked a game and played it! Zero idea on whether it was good or not! To relive that experience I found a randomiser that spits out a random classic console game! Today we played Time Lord on NES! But first.. my totally “original” intro lyrics.

^{<Disclaimer>
For the purpose of this format an emulator has to be used as many games on this list will be to obscure to obtain physically
<End of Disclaimer>}

Song intro

♫She’s Gonna Take You back to the past!♫
To play some random games really fast!
No walkthroughs! And No reviews! This is gonna be a blind playthrough!
Some games are good but most are bad!
She will play things she wished she never had!

She is the most random gamer, without much luck!
She’s the Random Nintendo Duck!
She’s the Random Arcade and Sega Duck!
♫She’s the Random Video Game Duck!♫

_{All credits to the James Rolph and the AVGN, this is just a spoof!}

Time to play Time Lord

Time Lord Screenshots for NES - MobyGames

Time Lord is a platformer game on NES! The game was released in America in 1990 and fairly limitedly in Europe in 1991. It was developed by Rare LTD and Published by MB Company. MB standing for Milton Bradley! Which is like the most 90’s sitcom character name ever by the way! The game is classified as a Platformer, but feels more like an early beat’em up, like River City Ransom. After playing through the entire game it is a bit of a mixed bag of reviews, with most people really liking it and some very much hating it! Once again I find myself a bit in between! Though I severely vere to the dislike side of things! One should note that I do this from the stance of a blind playthrough! I will admit that replaying this game now would make it a much more digestible experience but the first experience is …odd to say the least. No walkthroughs, No Nintendo Power! How manageable is the game?!

The goal seems rather simple! Each stage holds five time orbs! Collect them all and you beat the level! Travel through time to delete the influence of evil aliens on the space time continuum. And yes that is also the entire story of this game! You are told this and while I have no idea WHY the aliens have put 5 time orbs for you to function as a tutorial they did! However the tutorial is in no way similar to the actual game experience! So in stage one we gather five time crystals in our current time to hop back in time for the first time! And that is when the Dodo Doodoo starts to show up for me! The controls are fairly tight though instinctively it feels as if I am jumping with the wrong button and punching with the wrong button! That might be a fault on my end though! The game looks okay.. but kind of bland for a game that game out fairly late in the NES life span.

The Good, The Bad and the Clam!

If you read my blog and actually remember what I say, some of you might know that Turtles in Time is one of my favourite SNES titles out there and this game is VERY similar to that one! Just less advanced. You beat up enemies, travel through time and each stage has a boss! The time zones you visit are varying , you play through the future, medieval times, the wild west, the age of pirates, world war 2 and the future again! Every stage but one.. has a fitting boss (but more on the odd one out later) for example in the medieval times you fight a Dragon.. which feels like something aliens could put there to mess up time! Or in the Wild west you face a gunslinger with better weapons! Pretty good stuff! The stages look distinct and all have their own music. Controls feel okay, but could be a bit sharper. Having Select switch weapons is a great thing I wished to have seen in more games! The game is highly functional which given that I am going to play random games for the foreseeable future already is a big bonus! So I would not go as far as say that this game sucks donkey sausage or I’d rather eat a skunk’s rotten defecation exit than to play this game, but going as far as saying that this is a good game?! I ‘d rather not go that far either.

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This game has 4 major flaws that really and I mean REALLY spoil the broth for me! Let’s begin with the biggest gripe! Like most NES games this one can be finished a a manner of minutes. As long as you know what to do that is! The game only has six stages which is fair. which will take you about 20 ish minutes to beat! Which is a good thing.. because if you play the game for 24 minutes and 34 seconds and still have not reached the ending.. you will hit a game over! No further edits, you have to play the game from the very beginning! Which isn’t THAT big of an issue since the whole game can be finished in about 20 minutes…on paper. Now there is a problem in the main time zones! As this game requires you to SEARCH out the HIDDEN location of the time Orbs. Some of these orbs locations are REALLY cryptic as well.. such as having to pick up 20 mushrooms in the medieval level..or ringing the ship bell three times in the pirate level. So playing this game without hitting a game over blindly is practically impossible! And that already design wise is a chips load of fudge!

Listing of Nintendo NES games starting with the letter t - Page 5 - The Video Games Museum

This goes hand in hand with the second issue of the game! Many of the orbs in this game.. need to be picked up IN ORDER! Which doesn’t seem to bad but 3 out of the 6 stages make you do some serious backtracking! The worst offender of this is the World War II level who places an Orb right at the start of the game but you can only collect it last. So not only do you need to familiarise yourself with the location of the orbs, you also need to find the easiest way to get from A to B as you basically are forced to speed run this game. Some of the orbs found in the game require trick jumps to pull off and I haven’t been able to consistently do that even if I know how the controls work! Other orbs require you to make leaps of fate down a pit.. but since the game is in 2.5d you can still miss an item because you are to much in the foreground or background Climbing back up takes you about a 30 seconds to a minute, so if you mess up a few times to get the perspective run, you will inevitably hit a game over.

time lord nes OFF 66% - Online Shopping Site for Fashion & Lifestyle.

The third issue is that the game is rather stingy with lives! Enemies keep constantly respawning based on where you are in the level, so the backtracking will drain a fair bit of health! Especially in the later stages, where you need weapon upgrades to take down enemies without punching them a million times, your first run to get the items, which means you will get hit, then you have to backtrack to find all orbs which means you will take damage. If you arrive at the final boss with less then at least 2, 5 lives left I dont think there is a way to beat it! It’s damage is nearly unavoidable, which is only amplified that by the time you arrive there you will have just a few minutes left to beat it. So you will play sloppy! Other bosses can take away huge chunks of life as well.. but they can’t hit you at all if you find their golden spot and move in depth a bit while you can hit them no matter what plane you are on , they can only hit you if you are dead center.. if they hit you though you lose like half a life bar. The World War 2 boss i particularly hard and pretty much you will never make it through a stage in one go!

Time Lord (NES) Final Battle + Ending - YouTube — *_{This is how the final boss looks!}*

The fourth and final issue is that the final boss does NOT feel like a final boss! It feels like a scrub thing you encounter in castlevania! It’s three alien skulls on brains that spit birds at you! I knew aliens were my enemy but these don’t look like big bad guys! This looks like the guys R2D2 and C3PO take care off while Luke slashes at the real thing! I got really frustrated that a Mid Boss was kicking my ass.. until I finally got past it.. and realised I had beaten the game! It is not the worst boss though! The worst boss is in the pirate stage! You may wonder .. How do you fudge up a Pirate Captain?! Well it’s not a pirate captain.. not even a pirate! The villain in the pirate themed level… is a clam! And like a clam it doesn’t really do anything! You just throw daggers at it until it dies! Why would a CLAM be the thing aliens use to disturb time! I mean it’s a big one.. but why not give blackbear a lightsaber or something.. that would seem more effective jeez!

Chocolat and Clam covered Steak

On my last run, the one I knew I was gonna beat the game on, I had a fair bit of fun! The game isn’t bad, it’s design is just fundamentally wrong! To beat the game you basically are expected to run into 6-ish game overs at least. It isn’t all that difficult to navigate through these stages but the clock pursuing you punishes you for inexperience. You are literally unable to complete the game from inexperience! You can play flawless and not get hit YET still you will be forced into a game over.. because .. who in their right minds would try to pick mushrooms until a red orb appears in a beat em up game. Who would ring a bell three times to make an orb appear.. especially when an earlier bell shows up that just drops coins! Which only increases your score..but cost you time to get so why would you?! The core gameplay is fun.. but it is not rewarding to play as a gamer and goes against my gaming instincts of fairness.

I want to lose a game because I suck at the game! I want to get better! Just simply learning the map doesn’t count at getting better at the game! If I hit a Game Over because I hit the bell on the pirate ship too many times, I don’t feel accomplished if I skip it the next time around and DO find an orb in the next bell. I feel robbed! I don’t mind getting a bad ending for taking things slow.. take Metroid for example! That has a time limit as well but I can still be quite content if I beat it in a slow run.. here I just die! I played about 12 to 15 times, some of which was caused by pure frustration but one of them happened by time out in the final stage! I was just too slow in killing the World War 2 boss to get to that monster with as many lives as possible! As I believed he was a mid boss! That was very annoying!

This game is like grocery store steak and store bought chocolate mousse and take away clams. As separate elements they are super passable and enjoyable! We don’t always need fine dining and store bought can still be fine! The steak is seasoned pretty well, the clams while not the freshest and some taste a bit funky are still clams! It’s hard to fudge those up and the chocolate mouse is a great desert that most people would not say no to! The problem is this game just throws it all together. There is no way to enjoy your steak without tasting the clams and the chocolate mouse as well.. and it just doesn’t combine!

Houshou Marine (1,000,000 subscribers) : Hololive

I wanted a pirate boss! I love pirates! Marine is probably the VTuber I would make my wife! So the fact that I could have fought her in this game but I got a clam instead annoys me! I know I am into clams as well but NO! This is not a good stage boss! Who ever thought that was a good idea! This is clearly made by people who understood games and marketing.. yet the thing this game fails to understand is the gamer! That is why I would consider this game a failure! Speaking of which.. since this guy is supposed to be a Time Lord, where is his phone booth?!

Next installment of Random Video Game Duck.. we will launch a Sega Master System game? Will it be good? Will it be bad? I do not know! All I know is that it will be drawn at random! Any NES game you’d like to see me play?! Or do you hope I land on a particular Master System title?! Let me know! Oh dear.. the song is hear! I gotta go! Stay random!

♫♩ She’s the Random ………..Video Game ………Duck! ♩♫

Celebrating Badass Video Game Moms

No bad games this week, peeps! Just some serious mom love. Not like that either you, deviants. I am far from being the only person that has realized that mothers are pretty underrepresented as far as video game characters are concerned. This doesn’t surprise me in the least. Let me explain:

In an industry that, until pretty recently, has been overwhelmingly dominated by males its not very shocking that programmers and writers are not out there writing about maternal badasses. It’s probably less a “stick-to-what-you-know” situation as it is a “write-for-who-you-think-is-playing” situation.

As we all know by now non -male gamers have always been out there but historically have been treated as a silent – if not completely forgotten – minority. That’s not to say just because you are a woman and a gamer you don’t totally love a badass male protagonist. But diversity is the spice of life!

So in honor of Mother’s Day weekend, here is a completely silly and random tribute to video games moms throughout the years. As diverse as all of our real mothers – these badasses prove that blood doesn’t always make family – in fact you don’t even have to be a human to be a good mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

THE BOSS (METAL GEAR SOLID 3: SNAKE EATER

Alright alright – a few things right off the bat. For those of you who have been reading Periwinkle posts from the beginning I just want to say, “thank you.” Secondly, if you are one of those readers and are asking yourself, “can this guy just do a damn list without mentioning a Hideo Kojima game?” The answer is a hard no.

I can’t because it is nearly impossible for me to talk about my love for gaming without pointing towards something he has done. I’m a fan boy. You know this, I know this, once he finally accepts my love letters even he’ll know this – ahem – moving on.

The Boss is not winning any “mom of the year” awards and is a very far cry from your typical soccer mom. A hardened soldier, a World War Two veteran and Naked Snake’s mentor, their relationship is very, very complicated.

Every confrontation the two have throughout the game she teaches Snake another harsh reality not only about the battlefield but about human nature. Basically whooping his ass repeatedly until he stops making the same mistakes. Their final battle is haunting.

And even after all that Snake isn’t even her son. Her relationship with her real son, Revolver Ocelot is just as complicated in an entirely different way. What is for sure however, is The Boss’ legacy as a complicated badass being cemented in the hearts, minds and conscious of Metal Gear fans the world over.

Wrinkly Kong (Donkey Kong Series)

Alright so I have to admit that up until today I thought Wrinkly Kong was Donkey Kong’s mom. I was wrong. Turns out, Wrinkly is actually Donkey Kong’s Grandmother. Whom regardless still seemed to raise “DK the third” as her own with her husband, Cranky Kong. And anyways, Grandmas are still moms and grandparents still make great parents. So here we are with the not dangerous but unbelievably cute, intellectual and spry, Wrinkly Kong.

Making her first appearance in the unbelievably fun and still totally killer, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Quest she runs her own Kong College educating her little Kong grandchildren about the game’s items and tossing them hints. She also offers her place as a safe respite and a save point for the little ones so seeing her cute little face on the map always accompanied a sense of relief.

By the third DK Country she had retired from her career as an educator but still offers game tips and a save spot for Dixie and Kiddy Kong.

Sadly by Donkey Kong 64, Wrinkly appears as a ghost. We learn that she passed away due to her accelerated age yet she still finds a way to make herself valuable to her family with hidden doors, hints and bananas. Proving that lessons and guidance outlive the greatest of teachers.

SONYA BLADE (MORTAL KOMBAT SERIES)

Sonya has had a rough go. Following trash bag ozzie, Kano into some sort of hellish underworld. Her and her military partner Jax are split up, captured, freed, captured again, ignored by the US Government and eventually she gets cut in half.

BUT luckily (sort of) Ms. Blade or should I say, Mrs. Cage was granted new life with the “current MK timeline”. Eventually marrying Johnny Cage and giving birth to their daughter, Cassie Cage. They eventually divorce and The Cage family is constantly being pulled in and out of the Netherrelm and yet time and time again she always sets a good example for her daughter and never thinks twice about sacrificing herself for her family no matter what hellish obstacle stands in her way.

KARA (DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN)

“ I know you think we’re just machines… but since I met Alice, I know I can feel things… I care for her, I fear for her, I can’t be happy if she’s not… This probably doesn’t make any sense to you but… I know she changed me somehow”

Created by CyberLife as a common household maid android, Kara lives with and serves Todd Williams. She also takes care of his daughter, Alice. During her assembly she is tested by operators on her physical and cognitive functions where she begins to realize she isn’t a human. Learning she is to be reset and sold, Kara panics claiming, “She thought she was alive.” As a gesture of mercy after Kara pleads with the operator they don’t reset her and she is shipped off to a store to be sold with her sentience intact.

It is there where she is purchased and brought to the Williams home. Without a mother figure in the home, Kara fills the void for Alice, Todd’s daughter and it’s in response to Todd Williams abusive personality that Kara takes Alice and runs away with her. Showing that true love can break any cycle no matter how impossible or deeply programmed it may seem.

LULU LULU (FINAL FANTASY X)

Ah, Lulu. Technically not a biological mother yet in Final Fantasy X – she might as well be. Guardian to Yuna on her pilgrimage she has not only sworn an oath to protect her but guides her emotionally as well. Also a prime example of a protective mother-like figure in battle, Lulu’s dark magic and fury overdrive is devastating when used correctly.

Seemingly stiff and stoic to protagonist, Tidus at first as the story progresses you get a true glimpse into the grieving process of a woman trying to hold it all together not only for herself but for her friends and family as well.

One of the darker more moody characters that develops beautifully throughout FFX, Lulu has been a fan favorite since the release of the game and for good reason. Free thinking (one of the only Yevonites to question the religion) powerful and beautiful – Lu is the epitome of badass video game moms who are as compassionate as they are deadly.

I’m sure I missed a bunch and I’m excited to hear who. Let us know in the comments who you think are the best video game moms/ mother like figures in gaming. Thank you for reading and happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there!

If for some reason you’d like to read more of my thoughts, follow me on social media or my website: https://linktr.ee/BuffaloRetro

OH AND – I’d like to point out the fact that I made it through an entire post without using vulgar language. Since I was fined by Paradise Palace for my last entry. I can’t afford to swear anymore. Until next week!

Princess Pinkie’s Fantastic Five: Spin-Off Pokémon Games

Hear ye hear ye , Princess Pinkie is here with a new Pokémon Post

Greetings to my Loyal Subjects and Island Guests. As you may or may not know I am kind of into a little franchise called Pokémon. THE game that defined the collectable creature catching genre. However there are so many great Pokémon games that do not follow that formula. This post should go live on the day New Pokémon Snap is launched which is a great example.. but what are some other great Pokémon games to play if you are looking for something besides the 8 generations of goodness?!

Let’s discuss a few games I love to bits! Like a top five.. but without any particular order OR even saying these are THE best.. if you have your own opinion that is fine. You could have had the same opinion as a Unicorn-Duck Princess.. but whatever suits you works as well!

Pokémon XD: Gale Of Darkness

Released in August 2005 a sequel to the game Pokémon Coliseum was launched. Both games were sort of in between the classic Pokémon Stadium Games and the Main Line titles. When I played this game for the first time I was not sure if I liked it. It has some very odd music choices that while great do not always seem fitting. Like using Wild West styled songs for a forest song, while using a desert sounding song for a western town. With some very odd battle themes as well and all in all being a bit clunky. You can not travel the world but use a map system to bounce between several locations that have a few static screens you can interact with. You know those kinds of static backgrounds that they used in Resident Evil and Final Fantasy 7 through 10. Static camera allows you to walk around, interact with a few items and such. It felt slightly cramped and very limited when we compared it to what we were used to. Catching Pokémon was also very limited to so called Shadow Pokémon.. and later a few places where you could place some food.

Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness review: Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness - CNET

What makes this game so great however.. and it’s prequel at that is the amazing double Battles. Everything is set around Double Battles and the Shadow Pokémon feature. There are some wild Pokémon you can catch.. but they are nothing compared to the Shadow Pokémon. More powerful versions of pokémon with their heart closed off. You have to steal them from their evil owners and befriend them so you can purify them. The really good Pokémon to use in this game all start out as Shadow Pokémon and are very miserable showing you this game doesn’t mess around! The double battles are a lot harder and really require you to strategise a bit. The story of the game is also pretty fun with some very colourful enemies. Micheal the protagonist isn’t as much of an Edgelord as the guy in Coliseum was which makes him a lot more charming. Seriously the other guy looks like he is about to whip out his Beyblade or something.

Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness Gameplay - YouTube

The Plot of this game revolves around an evil team named Cipher wanting to weaponise Pokémon, and will have you face off against the legendary Shadow Lugia. You really feel like you are on a goal to stop that evil team , rather than on a journey to become the very best. This character has much more tangible goals and while that sometimes does mean competing in a tournament or such, it isn’t the main goal. This time you are liberating shadow pokémon from their cruel owners and trying to nuse them back to health trough double battles and love. Which gives it a nice fresh and more dire tone. This game offers a good challenge, a nice story and is just different enough..but also similar enough to pokémon to be somewhat of a safe choice if you want to play something else.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (Red) Rescue Team (Dx)

For many years now, over 20 we have been able to experience how it was to be a Pokémon Trainer, we dabbled in several forms of this With many trainer variants, sometimes we would just photograph them, while other times we yell at a Pikachu trying to make him listen when we secretly know he won’t. However we have very rarely been given the occasion to BE a Pokémon. Released on my Birthday in 2005 came a game called Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team for GBA.. or Blue Rescue Team for Nintendo DS. By then I did not have a DS yet so I was given a Red Rescue Team. A pokémon game that lets you play as ….a Pokémon, not only that.. this Pokémon is REALLY You.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team Release Date, Videos and Reviews

When you start the game you get asked a few questions and that determines which Pokémon you are. For example stuff like what do you like to do when you get home after school, how many friends do you have. Back then I would be a Squirtle, when I replayed it a few years later I was a Cubone and nowadays I am either a Squirtle or a Bulbasaur. Yet there are a few options like Charmander , Pikachu the other Gen 2 and 3 Starters and even Meowth or Psyduck! I haven’t ever gotten it though. In later games I was a Skitty though, so I could not have been far off. Either way based on your personality you get assigned a Pokémon body, now you have to find a way to get your original body back and you do that by helping other pokémon. This can be various tasks like helping a Butterfree Mamma get her baby caterpie, or you explore a dungeon to find Pidgey’s favourite kind of berry.

bol.com | Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX - Switch | Games

In a top Down zelda-ish looking style you can walk through a dungeon with a buddy (mine was Bulbasaur) bonk some pokémon on the head and learn some special moves to use against them as well. The dungeons are randomly generated and different each time, whatever task you choose to do in the maze determines how many floors there are before you exit, you earn money from rescuing stuff, upgrade your team ranking, upgrade your pokémon and if you are lucky recruit some new friends. The first one just felt so heartwarming and sweet and while the dungeon running can get a bit tedious in later stages it is just a sweet and delightful adventure to embark upon. It is very much worth it. Nowadays the Nintendo Switch has a remake of the game that improves on a few things so the cuteness has not ended! There is also some sequels but to be fair, the emotionally journey of this one is way stronger! It made me cry and the other games did not even get close!

Pokémon Puzzle League

Released for Nintendo 64 in september of 2000 this game is the only one on the list that pretty much has nothing to do with Pokémon..but it’s still REALLY REALLY good! I could have given this spot to games like Pokken or Detective Pikachu or even Pokémon Trading Card Game 2 for Gameboy Colour, but for all of those I have a few gripes, so they wont come further than being honourable mentions here. What put Pokémon Puzzle League ahead of them is that it is the best game of it’s kind on N64. A competitive puzzle game in the style of Poyo Poyo or Tetris Attack… in fact this IS Tetris Attack. The latter game was my favourite puzzle game on SNES and Pokémon Puzzle League is it’s N64 counter part. However instead of vague creatures from the Yoshi universe we get Pokémon. Which makes the backgrounds all the more enjoyable for me.

Pokémon Puzzle League | Video Games & Apps

The story/adventure mode let’s you battle against rivals and gym leaders alike and is the only game the Pokémon anime ever got.. except for a fan game I guess. Here you can just have fun against the classic theme rocket including their theme song, you can puzzle away to reveal screenshots from the show and everyone you face is as faced in the show. As a kid this was great. Gameboy Sabrina was waaaaaaay different from her anime counterpart. Team Rocket lacks Jesse and James and Brock and Misty where they throw away characters. Not here…this game is great to play alone but is even better when you play it with friends and the threshold of this game is zero. You can fire it up, play a match and turn the console off again. Perfect between home(work) and dinner. It’s light cute and very nicely animated with a very cute tranquil music list. It is just Tetris Attack.. but it is my favourite version of a game I already love.. so it earns it’s spot on this list!

Pokémon Pinball

Released on April 14 1999 this is the oldest and perhaps strangest title on my list. A Pinball game? Does it seriously beat out Pokken or even Pokémon Go?! Yes! Quite so! I am not a fan of Pokémon Go persé, I enjoy casually checking Pokémon sometimes but I do not like the business model attached to it. I really dislike how it shines so much less special, I really dislike how it takes up so much box space with all special variants. So no… it won’t be on my list, the game I pick might be a lot more simple and less visually pleasing but boy oh boy does it have some charm. I loved Pokémon Pinball. It was a gameboy colour game with a rumble feature which was totally unique. It allowed you to play two machines, Red and Blue and you could travel across routes , catch pokémon and even evolve them by just flapping some paddles around. It was such a creative take that worked really well.

≥ Pokemon Pinball GameBoy || €9.99 - Games | Nintendo Game Boy - Marktplaats.nl

The idea of using a Pokéball as a Pinball (or is it a Pinball-ball?) already is kinda clever and they get so much mileage out of it. You first play the board to travel to one of the many routes in the game, then make a Pokémon Appear that is indeed living in that route. Then you can hit it five times to create the word Catch, after which hitting it with your Pokéball-Pinball-ball will allow you to capture it. Now you can rinse and repeat OR level up the Pokémon so it can evolve. If you do well you can even make it all the way to catching Mewtwo and beating the game.. but you need some serious pinball skills for that. This does make the game a bit weird to play though.

Pokemon Pinball (GBC) - Gameplay - YouTube

Evolution has to happen in one Pinball Session and a lot of the catches are behind an RNG element like the routes selected, the pokémon that spawns on those routes. This is fine at the beginning and it pleased kid Pinkie very much but when I recently tried it again I felt some deep frustration with it! If you make it further in the game you will need certain pokémon, for example let’s say machop. However instead of machop three other pokémon can spawn as well.. and even IF you find Machop you will need to level it up twice without losing all your pokéball-pinball-balls which means you have to be quite good at Pinball. On a device with limited battery life and visibility., which can be a frustrating task. However if you just play this game a very sessions at a time and consider the Pokémon caught a bonus to your pinball experience rather than something you have to complete in a short amount of time this game is really great and young me spend many many hours on this title that was actually owned by my sister.

Pokémon Ranger Shadows of Almia

To this day I still haven’t found a copy of Pokémon Conquest to play and the DS era of Pokémon was the one I missed out on the most. One title I did get the pleasure of playing was Pokémon Ranger 2: Shadows of Almia and it might be my favourite Pokémon game that is not a main-line Pokémon game. I mean it’s friggin adorable! It’s so good! The graphics are cute , the characters are adorable and it’s one of the few games that does really force you to use your stylus that came with the DS… because Pokémon Ranger was all about drawing loops of friendship around some pokemon. For those who don’t know what that means, this is a game in which the main gameplay has you draw circles around moving objects!

I know that sounds super lame, and to an extent it is kinda lame, especially later in the game, but this game is dressed SOOOO well it doesn’t matter. It is kinda fun to see all the special attacks a Pokémon can take to prevent being wrapped up in a laser lasso that makes it more friendly towards you. This game has elements of the old Pokémon games in that you have a world to explore.. and each time you catch something or get a new mission you open up more of the world. In a way it feels like a puzzle game, because drawing loops is mostly used to get a new friend towards a place where you can use their effect. Draw circles around a magnemite and it can turn on the power, draw circles around a squirtle and it can put out a fire, but you only have so much energy if your Lasso breaks, you lose your job and lose the game. It’s kinda interesting how much milage they get out of drawing circles!

So the gameplay is odd but satisfying but what really makes this one of the greatest Pokémon Products ever is the writing. This game is super funny! Sometimes intended, sometimes less intended. “Touch the Bidoof” is said to the ranger and I am already laughing, or how about the time that the evil team is using an ice pokémon to make snow cones and not knowing what to do with the player character, they offer her a snow cone as well. Your rival failing at everything he does but still keeping his ego up was incredibly funny as well and there is just this great vibe of work ethic in this game that makes it feel wholesome. Everyone is living with their Pokémon and working with them and it offers a very interesting peek into the non battling side of Pokémon. The music is great as well! It lacks the endgame and the “community” that other Pokémon games get but by arceus is this game the gem! Skip out on the first one though that one isn’t half as good! Just play this one you’ll have a great time……and perhaps some stylus burn from drawing so many circles.

Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia :: Full Walkthrough

Those are five fantastic games that are very much Pokémon Franchise games that aren’t part of the main line! Of course the original Pokémon snap was amazing as well but I felt that would be such a cheap choice! Soon I will be able to tell you if New Pokémon Snap is any good! Until then tell me which Pokémon “spin-off” games you really like! While you do I will take a nap and wait for my game to arrive, because remember folks. Friendship is Magic, but Dreams are even more Wonderful! Oyasumi!

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Rp - Sleeping Dorms - Wattpad

What if Princess Pinkie Wrote: The Super Mario Bros (1993) Movie

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with a new movies and Series Post!

I really love Bob Hoskins Portrayal of Mario, and the weirdness that is the Super Mario Bros movie. I reviewed it myself and gave it an equally strange grade. The super silly movie is great to watch, but let’s be honest it doesn’t have to do a lot with Mario. Yet Mario is also quite difficult to make a movie about. So if I was given the chance to make a movie..given that I would have to make it in 1993. What would I do?! How would I write the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie?

Brooklyn Brothers

Nintendo Super Mario Super Star Lampje Met Geluid

The Super Mario Movie starts with a story about how Dinosaurs ruled our world.. but then a meteorite struck! Claiming , that instead of wiping them out..it created a second world.. an underground world where dinosaurs continued to evolve. I think this concept might actually be usable after a slight repurpose. This time we will have the story about the meteorite happening but this time the narrator will inform us that it wasn’t just a meteorite that crashed into earth that day, it was a star (or a part of a star). a very special star! A power star! When that star crashed on earth it discovered a world hidden beneath hours.. another realm. The Dinosaurs got themselves trapped in that new world. Then we would get a little mention that these stars.. tend to seek each other out.. or that the star wants to be reunited.

I am using these two options because in more modern Mario incarnations, especially in the RPG’s there are several power stars, variations among each RPG and even in some other games, so ideally I’d use that idea! In 1993 with less Mario titles being out it might have to be pieces of a star. For the sake of argument though we will say that we can use the idea of multiple stars as it may have been adapted later on if the movie wasn’t such a huge flop..or at least borrowed from there. Plus Super Mario RPG was only three years away so perhaps a concept was lying about already!

With that said the next scene would replace the one of Daisy being dropped off at the orphanage. This time we see a boy flush his turtle away..we follow it as it ends up in the sewer. It survived and crawled out of a pipe. We see some mushrooms grow on the damp walls near the pipe. Another star crashes in New York city missing the turtles but hitting the mushroom and the sewer pipe. As the pipe begins to glow.. we see the little turtle and the water it came from being sucked back in the pipe.. as the water flow is reversed. When we zoom in on the pipe we see it now grows green..and the mushrooms going next to it have all gone.

***Not exactly how it would look but this would give you an idea!***

Next we would be introduced to Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo! That’s right we are keeping the original cast. In some cases at least! I won’t take this from Bob Hoskins! The whole plumber skitt would happen but rather than be a conspiracy theorist Luigi is more of a scaredy cat. He saw a report on a meteor strike in New York (x) many years ago. The documentary would say it was covered up and Luigi would be scared of such an incident ever happening again. The boys would get a job but Scarpelli’s men would get there first like in the original stealing the job from the plumbers. This time there would be no digsite. Instead Luigi and Mario and Mario’s girlfriend.. Pauline (instead of Daniella) would talk about losing the job to Scarpelli! To which a strange old man tells he is opening a hotel, in an abandoned building, that has been abandoned ever since that weird event (x) years ago. This professor would kind of like professor E.Gadd and the hotel itself a reference to both Luigi’s Mansion as a series and Hotel Mario. I know it’s 1993 and E.Gadd was not invented yet ..but it will still work as just a plot point if he is just an old strange man.. I just made it a cameo for my fellow time travellers.

Scarpelli and his crew would not take any bigger role in this .. they are just to get Mario and Luigi to another job.. working for an odd ball they would normally refuse. While in the hotel they can hear some strange noises coming from the basement and Luigi acts afraid, thinking it might be ghosts. Mario tells him to shape up as the pair heads to the basement.. They notice there is no water and the only way to turn it on is to enter the sewer grate just outside the soon to be hotel. When they check the pipes they notice the water IS turned on.. but for some reason it is just not flowing. Luigi then discovers the pipe with the water flowing backwards still glowing green. Both look surprised as another star crashes near them, which spooks luigi and he falls into the water.. and gets sucked up in the green pipe. Mario is intrigued and picks up the star, puts it away and rather than jump into the water jumps towards the pipe.. and gets pulled in as well. We hear the iconic warp pipe sound as we get a trippy travel between worlds,

**Gotta have those 90’s neon animations when travelling** **through worlds!**

The Mushroom Kingdom

The next thing Mario sees is a clear blue sky as the pipe spits him out in a body of water in a grassy environment with a brick road close by! The grassy windows xp looking grassy hills nearby seem to have eyes? Then he hears Luigi screaming! Mario runs toward him and sees both Luigi and a tiny little dude with a little Mushroom dude screaming in Panic, played by Verne Troyer.. we will get an actual Toad in an actual Mushroom Kingdom! No Cyberpunk world here! But a world that actually looks like the Mushroom Kingdom. Think Classic Wizard of Oz look! The blue skies.. actual turn out to be blue glowing mushrooms covering some underground cave walls. After Mario slapped Luigi he mans up a bit and realizes Toad is asking for help! His village is under attack.

**I could have spend more time photoshopping this.. but you get the point!**

Mario agrees to help the little guy, grabbing plunger and wrench as they make their way to the village! Now here casting restraints show up! We can’t cgi to many fake toads, unless we oompa loompa it but since toads are skin coloured it might look too fake, so instead we get normal citizens.. but all have either a mushroom cap or some element of mushroom to them! They are attacked by two human goons with some facial prosthetics to give them a more beak-like mouth and on the back of them is a green and red shell! They replace the goons of the original movie so they can be played by the same actors. Looking more inhumane, however this time around in the real world Scarpelli and associates resemble these guys, to give a nice pair of rivals for Mario and Luigi! They claim they are coming to collect (x) coins taxes for King Koopa unless the Princess gives up her Star. Mario thinks he sees Scarpelli snaps and lashed out! Even Luigi helps! In a tavern brawl style with plumber tools our heroes come out victorious.. who by the way are already in their Iconic gear, as is their plumber uniform, no red and yellow dinner jackets… The Koopa Brothers swear that next time they will bring their hammers and will take care of them next time. Toad explains that these are Red and Green Koopa… also known as the Hammer Bros.

Of course rescuing the village would get Mario and Luigi invited by Princess Toadstool which still can be played by Samantha Mathiss. Toad can go as well. The princess baked a cake for them, Mario and Luigi ask for Spaghetti but the Princess doesn’t know what it is! She awards them a Mushroom, that when consumed helps them in their time of need. It will make them stronger. Mario hates mushrooms and Luigi likes them. As Mario gets his Mushroom, something in his pockets glow as well as a gem around princess Toadstools neck! She looks surprised but an explosion draws their attention. Bowser/King Koopa stands there with Red and Green Koopa who wield the SNES super scope that was used as the devolution gun in the original, this time painted black. They shoot out a Bullet Bill with arms that grab Mario and Luigi sending them through a window! Bowser, still played by Dennis Hopper laughs at their screams and says Monkeys! Then he turns to Peach and tells her Game Over Princess!

**I used the goomba suit from the movie as a Boswer Body.. despite my photoshop skills.. that would be neat!**

Quest in Koopa Kingdom

The two brothers land in a desert, trying to make their way back to the palace and during their trip they encounter the Mushroom version of Professor E.Gadd or in 1993 a random scientist. Played by Christopher Lloyd, cause he was the weird scientist back then. He lives out in the desert because his house was haunted but he is working on clearing it out. Luigi tells Mario he knew the hotel was haunted. For rescuing Peach however the professor gives them the jumping shoes from the original, and a hammer as a weapon! In trade of their plumbing tools, which he never saw before.

When the duo gets back to the castle, they find it abandoned except for a hiding Toad, he tells Mario he knows where they took the princess, a dark fort in the Koopa Kingdom, and he saw the enemies left through a pipe! Not far away. The group travels there together and we see them learn to use their new weapons and jumping shoes through a fair few challenges, defeating a few Koopa’s but as they draw closer to the fortress Toad begins to act more shady. Nervously looking around. The heroes don’t notice because that’s how Hollywood works. They make their way through the fortress in a Indiana Jones like fashion, with the castle being a trapped tomb. Singed and injured the two arrive at the end of the tomb where they have to fight Red and Green Koopa, which ends rather anticlimactic! Despite them tossing hammers this time.. using their jumpy shoes Mario and Luigi outmatched them badly. There they find all the coins Koopa stole from the people..and a tied up Mushroom girl… no princess. Toad looks ashamed and tells them he is sorry but the Princess is in another castle

He explains while loving his ruler, he needed the money back as did the other mushroom folks and if King Koopa was defeated his goons would run off with the money. Toad and his girlfriend will bring the money back to the village, Mario should save his Princess now. A montage follows of Mario and Luigi traversing the next fort looking even more hurt! At the end they see King Koopa on the edge of a lava bridge! The princess caged behind him. He reveals that there are seven stars each having a power of their own. His star can make him Immortal! As such he lived for millions of years, so long he could evolve himself.. but he can also move back. He then grows his Spikey shell and bulks up as he breathes fire. Hitting Luigi, down for the count Luigi smells baked mushrooms, his favourite and eats it! This makes him buff up and have a grapple fight with Bowser holding him down.

**Buff Luigi is a thing so no photoshop!**

Luigi tells Mario to use that function on the Hammer and jump over Bowser! Mario jumps over Bowser but thr monster leaps up for a moment, seeming to impale Mario on his spikey shell! A single drop of blood can be seen rolling from Bowsers shell, a shocked Luigi and Peach stare at the shell, then crank a smile! We see Bowser shell again, no more blood rolls across but rather a rainbow light effect! Bowser looks surprises as Luigi leaps back! “Your Star may make you immortal Bowser, Mine makes me invisible” Mario says, he then kicks off from Bowser’s shell and he and Luigi press a button on the bottom of their hammer. It changes into an axe! Bowser pleads for mercy but the two axes chop down the bride as Bowser falls into the lava he had used to warm his Dinosaur Blood. We see his hand come up from the lava one more time.. but to no avail. Bowser is dead.

Epilogue

The Princess is rescued and Bowser’s star floats towards them. Luigi jumps across and boosts to far, stumbling into a room where he finds a white egg with green dots. He asks if it should be tossed in the lava but Peach tells him not too! He star has the power to heal.. so she heals Mario and Luigi , they go back to the Mushroom Kingdom where Mario gives up his star! Peach promises to keep them safe! Mario and Luigi should return to their own world, but that soon she will invite them for a new cake! They find the warp pipe that leads them home being waved goodbye by the Mushroom people and Peach, clutching the Egg. It hatches and also sees Mario and Luigi leave! Peach names the baby, Yoshi.

***Don’t worry little guy Pinkie liked you in the movie! So you can stay as you were!.. Except you are also Bowser Junior now***

One year later appears on screen. Mario is taking his girlfriend Pauline to the Zoo, Luigi is there along with Toad who is wearing a disguise as a kid. Pauline remarks that Mario could have worn something else than his working outfit, he refuses, this is the gear of a Mario brother. He and Luigi Fistbump in front of the Gorilla cave.. the sign shows this Gorilla’s name is Donkey Kong. Toad noticed one of Mario’s boots is untied..as he bends over a Mushroom falls out his pocket, snatched by the Gorilla hand. The screen goes black, metal bars snap and Pauline yells.. we here the Iconic Game start sound of the arcade game play as we enter the credit roll.

And that my friends is how I would have made the Super Mario Bros 1993 movie whilst also setting up a possible Mario Cinematic universe. No actors would be recast with the exception of Koopa’s secretary and King Fungus, but they would be cast as random mushroom city citizens. Everybody wins! How would YOU make the Super Mario Bros Movie (as restricted per the 90’s ) ? Would you go see my Mario Movie (provided that some costumes look a bit better than my photoshops) let me know in the comments while I go do some research for my Kirby in Dreamland adaptation. Because Remember…..Friendship is Magic, but Dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

Yay! I am a Pokémon Princess: Pokémon Royal

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie is here with a new Pokémon Post

My loyal guests and subjects, it is with the utmost delight that I am here to tell you about a Pokémon Fan Game that has eluded me for a while! I did not know of it’s existence until some sentai looking guy on YouTube told me this was among the best Pokémon fan games out there… he was not wrong! Today I shall share my experience of the Pokémon Royal version with you!

Princess Pinkie in the Aristo Region

When I write this , I have only recently taken up the mantle of princess of Paradise Island , so I googled games in which you can be a princess. Not a lot came up, except for this super difficult Steam game with lots of stats and menus. I got bored and went looking for new Pokémon games to play! Trough a YouTube Video I heard about Pokémon Royal! A game in which you play a princess.. or prince. As the youngest child of King Arthur and Queen Guinivere you are to embark on your very first pokémon journey… however this time.. if you win you do not just become the champion.. you the future king or queen! However for some strange reason, while you travel across the lands searching far and wide, something strange is happening, alternative forms of Pokémon show up.. not regional forms..but Pokémon from different times. It all seems to connect to a mysterious organisation named Team Knight!

The Aristo Region features a classical Pokémon adventure, where you have to earn 8 gym badges, fight an evil team, can capture some legendaries here or there, and can capture pokémon from all 8 generations, as well as some counterparts for them of forgotten times. What’s more is the game isn’t as insanely hard as Pokémon Reborn, Insurgence or the likes, but instead ditches the “useless” stuff like worthless moves or “dead” abilities. It results in a fast paced Pokémon game that teaches you how to play at a semi-competitive level and think like a real trainer. The second gym already gives you Scald as a TM which is one of the best water type moves in the game and it really teaches you to keep a healthy balance between physical and special attackers, without feeling overly difficult.. it offers you plenty of variety but also shows you how a pokémon is properly kitted out.

The journey you take feels very much like Sword and Shield.. but from beginning to end basically let’s your monsters level from level 5 to right up to around 100 for the post game. When you get there though you are already around level 90. The game throws you an exp share right away that works like the one in Pokémon Sword and Shield .. thus you can very easily get the team you want trough fairly minimum grinding Though keeping the challenge level of the orginal games with just a bit more oomph. The game features an original story that only uses Arthurian legend for namesake. Yes you will encounter Merlin, Morganna , Percival , Gallahad and Lancelot, but there is no magical sword there is no relation to the mythos .. it really is it’s own tale, that feels very Pokémon, not overly dark.. it completely feels like a legit pokémon game! Which is nice for a change! Fan games are either a lot darker or a lot sillier but this one gets the balance right. Plus it does make me feel like a princess.

Pretty Princess, Silly Subjects

The game has been made by a fairly large group of people under the group of Norfolk Gaming. They manage to create one of the best Pokémon regions I had the joy of playing trough. You bounce all across the map, unlock items to replace HM’s that willl grand you access to some part of the world but that path isn’t always in front of you. It really has puzzle elements and travel elements that remind me of Johto and Hoenn and I mean that in the best way possible. We aren’t just walking circles, we trigger events that allow us to traverse a dynamic map! The battles are great , with trainers being much less bound to typings , unless it makes no sense otherwise (Swimmers due stick to water pokémon). The world feels alive, even bug catchers know to carry a pokémon that covers their weakness or so.

As a result the game forces you to keep switching around in battles, healing items are a lot more sparce at least early in the game and revives aren’t available until after the fourth gym, which already is around the late level 30’s or early 40’s. This means the challenge isn’t so much in incredibly hard battles that constantly forces you to carry teams that are super effective against a specific type of trainer or gym leader, but rather invites you to build ONE team that covers everything and has some synergy amongst each other.. this is how I think Pokémon should be. I don’t enjoy those Kaizo roms. This makes you think.. yet still allows you to have fun and choose your own team…as long as it is at least semi functional. There aren’t much non functional Pokémon available anyway. No one would use shuckle for a game playthrough so why put it in the game… that’s this games motto and it makes things great. The Temporal Pokémon, the special variants have super fun mechanics and puzzles are never a hassle so when it comes to your journey it’s such a delight.

For all the gameplay talent these developers had in their stable, they sincerely lacked pixel artists, their custom sprite work is not good. When you see King Arthur for the first time you think… Oh boy.. this is gonna be a rough one… but no the game is great.. just the sprite work….and the name creativity I guess. The third gym leader is a pirate, which for example uses Drake’s sprite.. but with a pirate head added to it.. but it doesn’t bland because colours aren’t adjusted. It just shows the creators aren’t sprite artists at all and at times it can really show compared to how polished the game is otherwise. Most Temporal Pokémon are just recolours and they don’t always work.. with some great exceptions like my Hakomo’o! Pink armored dragon yay! But yes.. sprites can look a bit wonky and on area’s with special tiles the game can drop frames quite a bit. Which will be a constant reminder that this is a fan game, which is not a bad thing.. but some of these sprites would litterally take a minute or two to fix.. like Pirate Drake, or even King Arthur, he looks nothing like his back sprite or overworld variant.

Fit for a Queen

Like the models, the writing can be a bit hokey at times as well, plot twists are REALLY obvious and names of things are a bit to on the nose, no Morgana is not the leader of the evil team .. it’s still just names but seemingly innocent lines characters spout clearly show a hidden intention that is not revealed until much later. There is a time travel element to this story that really reminded me of a movie about a time travelling prince, in fact the plot of this game is eerily similar to that movie.. but pokémonified. It is not bad by any means but it is very by the numbers. It makes sense as a plot..but maybe it makes too much sense?! Every character has a counterpart it seems in the regular Pokémon world with your dad being a bit like the way Oak was originally intended and your brother being a Gary, even though his sprite is Hau… given how his mother and father look.. Hau did that happen *badum tsss quack* While I point it out as a negative, this is really in line with how normal pokémon stories unfold though… and besides the lack of creativity here and there.. I really have no gripes with this game.

So much suddenly makes sense in this game, people actively mention that they would not like strangers in their house, but they welcome the Princess.. who may very well be their new queen, people are very friendly and helpful to you in this world as you are a somebody in this world. So it’s not just.. “hey look a random 10 year old.. let’s give him a bike” .. no it’s OMA (Oh my Arceus) the princess just walked into my bike store.. here have one of my bikes! The whole Pokémon League and elite four thing is also much more a test to see if the Royal family is ready to defend the region! An elite four makes a lot more sense in a scenario like that.. as it is the gateway to a final tournament. People acknowledge that some parts of the world are more dangerous and have more dangerous pokémon so these areas are shielded from people who do not have enough badges, rather than them being locked because there is a sleeping pokemon in the way.

Areas and routes have much more a type bias with route 1 having bug and normal types, while route 2 may have some water pokémon and maybe some flying types.. The game starts you out with picking from a Dark, Fighting, Psychic core, with Zorua , Riolu and Espurr rather than the standard Grass Water Fire Core, which allows the routes to be more dynamic. Rather than hunting for random Pokémon you can hunt route 3 for a grass addition to your team, route 12 for a good ground type etc. This means you can build your party much , much more intentional with less clutter Pokémon. The Temporal Pokémon can diverge from these biases though as do other event pokémon, which usually are good against upcoming gym leaders which makes exploring often worth your while as well, while the more generic pokémon you encounter often struggle against the gym leader. For example when you cross the haunted forest, you’ll face the dark type gym leader next, when you travel through a rock Pokémon filled cave, you’ll fight the ground leader next. However in case of the latter, you can find some event based water type pokémon by going off the beaten path! I love this format!

At the end of each track to a new town you encounter a repeatable trainer that can be challenged over and over again… so say you are stuck on the dark type leader you can go back to the route where you can find a lot of bugs or fighting pokémon, add it to your party then head back to the trainer right before the gym and repeat to make use of your exp share and level up your counter against said leader. Grinding can be knocked out within an hour that way meaning that even if you swap out your party a lot, you won’t end up putting THAT much time into grinding.. the game features a nifty speed up button that makes most grinding a matter of .. 30 minutes (provided you grind with at least some semblance of a plan). I managed to beat the game in 5 evenings of playing with the final stretch being a nice weekend day with a game I loved. This game has so many great ideas that it is worth picking up, and even if it doesn’t always stick to the landing of things it tries to achieve.. this game is a really great fit for any pokémon gamer who just wants another pokémon game! It might not be a Royal Flush.. but it is certainly a full house Queens over Kings!

What if my Blog was a Pokémon Game? The Paradise Region is Born

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has Returned with a new Pokémon Post

My sweet loyal subjects, as you may know I love theorycrafting and coming up with my own concepts for movies and games! I already designed concepts for about two Pokémon games..but non of them were about me! Now that I am a princess , I think we should change that. Sure we have Alola as a tropical region! Yet there were no gyms! You were the first Pokémon Champion ever.. it did not feel like the big leagues! It felt.. like a vacation! Yet what if I were to make my blog and it’s backstory into a whole new Pokémon Region and Pokémon Game! What would we get?! Today I will answer that question for you!

The Map

First of all we will need a general design for our region .. and that can be tricky! Hoenn has too much water for many while yet other people do not really like the whole circle motion you follow in Unova and Kalos. However Game freak really does seem to love this type of movement as you do it in Galar and Alola as well.. although a bit more disguised and tiered. Luckily Paradise has gotten a map recently that we can use to give both the game designers as well as the pokémon fans what they like. You see Paradise is a heart shaped island, with the resort entrance lying in the tip of the heart and other things being located on the beaches around it. The heart of the island is set for the pool area, everything seems to flock a bit around that so for our journey we will make the pool area our Pokémon League. Since we already had a Hawaiian theme.. let’s make this one Mediterranean mixed with cuban elements. Latin..tropical! So let’s call the final city we visit Piscina City.. It’s pools after all.

By taking elements from our island we can easily make elemental towns! The starting town would be called Registrase which is a rough translation of check in! All around the heart we have some elements that can be adapted. My castle can be translated into a fairytale town, along with a fairy type gym! Kaiju lake could be a lake filled with mysteries.. which in Pokémon games.. means ghost types. The Bar or the restaurant could be converted into a fire town, while the docks obviously are the place to go for water types! While we would be following the shape of the heart we sometimes can move land inward for some new adventures.. or even go out to see for some water based minigames, or to investigate some strange events with gym leaders or other characters. The gardens could be thick jungle.. boucy ball beach could feature a roadblock pokémon that you can avoid by navigating trough half submerged caves. Plenty is possible, but as an idea we will scale our island up 100 times or so and turn all of our existing elements into towns.

***A rough draft of how my Region would look in Pokémon Map style***

Legendaries

***Patchwork concept version of Patadeseo***

Any good generation game has two box art legendaries and in this case it will be a Unicorn and a Duck legendary. A Fairy Fire type for the Unicorn, and a Water Dark Type for the duck! The Unicorn stands for Passion and the Duck will stand for Desire. We all know one can have a burning passion.. or a burning desire.. but in this case, that desire.. is when one pushes too deep. Let them be swallowed/consumed by desire.. let it be all around them with nothing else around. Like a dark ocean. The Unicorn we shall call Passiocornio and the duck will be called Patadeseo! Both spanish portmanteaus of Passion Unicorn and Desire Duck respectively. Of course the duck would look really cool. Plus words like Passion and Desire would fit really well in a tropical theme. Of course to sell the games we need to avoid the word Desire so the games would be called Pokémon Passion and Pokemon Conviction.

***Passiocornio recolour concept based on art by XiaoDarkCloud***

Unlike other Pokémon legendaries who have been attributed to Pokémon life, we find out that Passiocornio and Patadeseo guide humanity, they have the ability to “speak” through humans through a sort of voice in their head. It keeps the world of humanity going forward. It keeps humanity progressive, without these Pokémon humanity surely would lose the will to go on and become great pokémon masters! So you as the trainer will have to find a way to protect both these Pokémon from the evil team. Compared to other pokémon journeys that would have come before.. This journey would focus much more on what it means to be a trainer and dive into the human aspects of this world. Why do pokémon follow humans that closely, why do pokémon grow stronger when working with humans?! Questions like these will be answered through the story with the legendaries as we really take a look at our part in this symbiosis.

The Evil Team

Man in Black | Anime-Planet — **Team Mahan Grunt**

Since I brought up the evil team just now I think that is a good next step to take in creating this world. This time the evil team would take the form of the FBI like people. “Agents” who feel the world is better off with them in control. With them policing over the world. Events with them would be them selling Pokéballs with tracking chips to people, breaking into a tower to turn around the signal so they can use the radio to eavesdrop on people and potentially them wanting to shut down Pokémon Laboratories because they do not feel 10 year olds are ready to have Pokémon yet. Yet outside these evil deeds, we also see them volunteer to find every missing kid or help out with other problems in the Pokémon world.. as long as they receive praise and status. I will call them team Mahan. Which basically is a reference to the “The Man” which is often used for government instances. I feel like having a red white and blue colour scheme would get me in trouble.. so let’s say they wear all black and look a bit like the agents in the Matrix.

The Leader of the evil team is called Orwell and while having a legit reason to be the way he is he will be among the more evil villains in the series. Orwell’s son.. George once took of on his trainer journey much like the player before him. Orwell did not want him to go.. but there was this passion in the boys out and Orwell knew he could not stop him. Yet on his journey George met an untimely end.. Orwell tried to warn humanity to abolish kid trainers or even children having Pokémon.. but no one would listen and that’s when he realised humanity was stupid! It could not take care of itself… he would have to protect them against themselves. By Capturing both legendaries he can link everyone’s Passion and Conviction and complete .. the Hive Mind.. a machine he can use to pierce the subconscious of all humans, this way he can protect them from themselves and enslave mankind .. free from it’s whims. Such a theme will be chosen because it meshes well with what Paradise and me are about.. but it also ties in nicely in the exploration of humanity story that is this game.

The Starter and the Rivals

Sobble crying is pretty relatable for me... | Fandom — **Sobble Cries because all the starter Elitism and hate**

That is right I wrote rivals as a Plural, so this means we are going to have multiple rivals in my game! Symbolising the variety of content you can get on Paradise. However this game will not feature all rivals such as Sword and Shield or Kalos or any other multiple rival game.. no this game will only have one of them, you will have two.. but who they are all depends on your starting choice.. where in lies the biggest difference from all Pokémon games. You see I do not think we need more pokémon persé. With a Biodiversity of over 920 species we don’t need THAT much more. I’d rather see some extra regional variants to make old pokémon more relevant again maybe with an evolution here or there but I do not think each generation needs 100 extra pokémon. In my opinion one of the most toxic things about new games coming out .. is the starters. People are SOOOO ungrateful when it comes to new starters.. and we have taken that whole grass water fire thing far enough! People are never really happy anymore.. which is why I propose a radical change in how starters work.. I will make a more in depth post about that some other day…maybe!

Pick what type of trainer you want to be!

My idea is that instead of just being asked what your preferred gender is, we also get a question about what your favourite typing is. From that question you will be assigned a pokémon of that type as a starter.. as long as it follows a few parameters, such as knowing an offensive move at level 5 and learning an additional one that gives a Same Type Attack Bonus by level 15. You can get ANY Pokémon from that type in the game. Which makes it a much bigger surprise and will make replaying your game feel more fresh. Your rivals would also change at least in my game.. they are bloggers based on your strength and weakness. I’d pick fairy for example so my biggest Rival would be A guy everybody loves that uses steel type Pokémon and who is very friendly and loves doglike pokémon.

***Variable Rivals, this one might be the fire user***

My weakness Rival would be this busy bee girl who specialises in fighting types but also carries a gardevoir as her magical girl. She lloves to lift weight and talk in length about her Pokémon on Radio Shows. Two very nice behavioured rivals, but say had you picked the Psychic type, one of your rivals would be the mysterious man with a one letter name who would use dark types and act all mean.. even though it is just an act. He wears a tophat and talks with movie quotes a lot. This would also impact the story at least in an illusion of choice kind of way. Where my steel rival with golden eyebrows happily tags along you to defeat Team Mahan, a certain anime blogger for example has much less time..and is probably drunk.. so instead she rushes ahead.. only defeating half of the trainers.. leaving you with equally plenty experience to gather from these trainers…but the with your battles unfolding somewhat differently.

The League

The Paradise League would feature 8 gym leaders like normal, and they would be based on characters I have on my blog albeit less stolen. Instead of Nakiri Alice as my chef, we’d get a cook, that is also a chemist that loves cooking with his fire pokémon. His gym puzzle would involve gathering ingredients and applying some science to it to produce the correct dish. If you fail.. a clean up crew comes along.. they are annoyed that they have to work now and will attack and battle you. The fairy castle town will feature Chibi Pinkie as a Gymleader dressed like a jester! She wants you to give gifts to the Princess subjects.. they give you a small description of their desired gift..and if you give them the right one.. they WILL honor you with a battle. If you give them the wrong gift they get sad and Jester Pinkie will be angry and become more difficult in battle. Other gyms would work in similar ways with gym puzzles involving a chore or event that is tied with Paradise actual location.

The Elite four is very simple! It’s my writing Staff. Indigo would be a steel type user with Bisharp as his ace, Kuro would be a ghost type user with a Regional and better Dusknoir as their ace. Sunny would be a water type user and his ace would be a shiny Milotic that you see raise him from a Feebas earlier. The most ugly fish now turned beautiful is a great metaphor for Sunny. Periwinkle would be a Dragon Type user. Dragon’s symbolises his need to put obstacles in his own way by playing super shitty games! His team has a lot of Outrage users and he is an elite 4 leader with a twist. His Pokémon are of a higher level.. but they function like they don’t always obey him.. much like traded Pokémon of to high level. Periwinkle’s Pokemon are so powerful he soldiered through.. but you need to take advantage of this by using paralysis and confusion tactics to fight him.. it’s not just sheer offence! His signature Pokémon would be a Druddigon to symbolise this character best.

Palm SIBERIA (Character) | aniSearch — *Lovable Socially Awkward Professor Palm*

The Professor of the Region is a part of this gym journey as well, she is a female professor called Professor Palm. She looks a bit like Palm from Hunter x Hunter as well and her gimmick is that she is massively socially awkward. She represents the geek in all of us, and while she can passionately talk about pokémon… each time she becomes aware she is doing it she freezes up! She is the polar opposite of professor Sycamore and talks in a very stuttery wayl She is actually a woman of science and has that scientist nervousness! She isn’t a people person and is a bit awkward around children. She will be a fun addition to the Pokémon professor family! She truly is a scientist who dedicated her life to Pokémon. She will utterly be able to talk to the main character and then introduces us to the follower Pokémon mechanic after which she speaks to you trough your Pokémon. “Bulbasaur Tell Pinkie that this Pokédex can register all types of Pokémon” Kawaii!

The Champion

***Can you beat the Paradise Champion?***

At the end of your journey you would face the champion of Paradise and that would of course be yours truely! Throughout the journey you encounter me a few times. I’d follow a princess theme! So I’d be dressed regally like Iris and have mannerisms that hold in between Cynthia and Diantha. An Amalgamation of the best elements of every female champion. I’d be the ruler of the island as well but this time we will show a person in power is actually not evil! I am sweet! During the game I will use several teams but always carry my Sylveon with me. I will mention that I use several pokémon so all my friends can go out to play. When I support the main character I will carry a team of five pink pokémon, mentioning I have a sixth but people would go crazy if they knew I had it! Early in the game you can find me adopting a lost stuful!

My champion team would fit a princess theme as well. I would have a Kantonian Rapidash to symbolise my unicorn. A Sirfetch’d would be my knight and Bewear would be my teddy for tea parties.. speaking of tea parties , I’d have an Appletun and Polteageist to be the sweets and tea of a princess party. My final Pokémon would be my Ace Sylveon! I carry that everywhere I go. I know I said Rapidash isn’t in the Pokédex.. and it is not! It is mine and mine alone! It will help simulate the bratty part of the princess. In My rematch team I use a hybrid of my pink team and princess team. Chansey with Toxic as a lead, Sylveon as an Ace, Bisharp instead of Sirfetch’d for coverage.the teapot would probably still make the team as well an Ariados would make the team for more toxic stalling options and finally I would have a Mew.. which we would give a new form, cause we gotta make some sales! And that is how Paradise became a game!

***The Champion and her first Pokémon League Team***

And that is how I’d imagine Paradise as a Pokémon Region/Game. How would your blog look as a Pokémon Region?! What would your champion team be? Do you think my team fits me?! Let’s talk geeky, though I might be napping! Because remember! Friendship is Magic, but dreams are even more wonderful. Oyasumi!

If you want to help me fund this game.. ..but realise I am joking here and you just want to support me.. consider helping me out by buying me a cofee.. or as I like to call it .. A Royalty.. once again Oyasumi!

This or That: Which Pokémon is Tastier

Where did I put my new headgear… frick! Oh well , hi Island guests! I decided to have a bit more fun with my blogs and well that means I am doing a lot of silier topics rather than reviews! It has made blogging a lot more fun! Yet also a whole lot less useful! So let’s hope you read these things because you like me or my content rather than that you read my stuff to see if an anime or game is for you! I came up with a new little concept where under certain conditions I pit two options against each other.. and then I pick! Today we will answer the important question! Which Pokémon will taste better?! I only want the finest cuisine now that I am going to ascend manager status!

Beef: Tauros or Miltank

There aren’t all that many Bovine options in Pokémon, Bouffalant escaped the Abattoir because of the relation Miltank and Tauros seem to have.. almost as if a male and female side of the same coin. We all know which one of the two is scarier, but which one of the two would be tastier? For those of you who don’t know, yes it is established that people eat Pokémon and these two are the most commonly mentioned being turned into burgers. Fan theories basically say they are the same pokémon in a way but gender variations..like Gardevoir and Gallade as it were. Or Glalie and Froslass. So we already start with a pickle.. they will probably taste fairly similar. Tauros meat will be a bit more muscular and chewie while Miltank is a bit more plumb and has more fat.

So I do believe that Miltank would be the more commonly used protein. It has the less pronounced taste. However I do believe that Tauros would be the more flavourful one. Miltank lives off its own milk a bit..which I can only imagine reducing it’s taste. Tauros seem a bit more wild.. and might have a bit of a gamey aftertaste which I really could fancy..but best of all, Tauros has multiple tails.. Oxtails are great in taste and for soup and sauces. Good for graveys as well. So I am convinced that Tauros is the more flavourful one. Yet is it always tastier?! The common population says no. Chicken Fillet is still a lot more popular than chicken thigh and people really prefer the more neutral tasting meats. I however am not the safe cut kinda girl! I prefer the pieces of cow others pass up on , so I’ll go bull as well!!

Pork: Grumpig or Pignite

I’d make chicken a category but there is only one chicken pokémon, so I think white meat is scarce in the world of Pokémon. So let’s pick our source of Pokémon Bacon. PIloswine is another option but I’d say that that again is more gamey and it would be the Miltank and Tauros story all over again. Besides Ground, Ice type sounds like the meat would be really tough and would need to marinate a lot.. we don’t always have time for that so for today we will compare two pigs with similar body types. Pignite is a fire fighting starter from the fith generation, while Grumpig is a psychic type from the Hoenn region. At first glance the latter has a lot of things going for it. It’s a psychic type that is known for using its psychic powers to eat berries. Which means it will have a lot of sweet, subtle meat that could be delicious! I am also very interested in eating something purple!

On the other hand Pignite is a fire , fighting type. The meat would be more firm and probably not as flavorful as it would eat whatever 10 years old starting their journey would feed it… so it will probably be fed a lot of pot noodles and redbull. Yet it has a very plumb body and some fats that can be beautifully rendered. I bet it could taste nice with some apple and thyme, maybe some sauteed onions. The most important clue to which one is the tastiest we find in their pre-evolutions. You see Spoink the prevolution of Grumpig dies if it ever stops bouncing on it’s own tail.It has an insanely stressful life.

Stress can be tasted in an animal. Alternatively , Tepig is a starter which means it is bred to be friendly towards 10 year olds. Which means it probably has a plushie little life as soon as it is born where it is groomed to be friendly to be people. Which I assume would be done by getting food, pets and other forms of love.. so it hungers for that same type of affection in a 10 year old.. those who evolve to early or who aren’t picked live with the professor for a while .. but some will eventually just be sold off for meat, but before that a Pignite will have had a good life.. and you can taste that. Besides it’s a fire type! Which means it practically is self crisping bacon! That alone would make it the winner.

Duck: Kantonian Farfetch’D or Galarian Farfetch’D

So since I wanted to do at least some form of edible bird comparison I settled on a bird that I love to bits… but also love to eat! Ducks! In this case.. we even compare the same Pokémon.. but from different parts in the world. You know much like how Irish Mutton is kind of tastier than Dutch Mutton. And yes while I would love to have a pet Duck, I still would eat them. Same would go for other pets.. on the premise they were bred for meat.. not as a pet that got not picked and turned into meat instead. So which one of these ducks… would be the tastiest. They both have a leak, in varying sizes. Galarian Farfetch’D has the bigger leak so I think it is safe to say that would be the tastier leak! It has also much more rich and vibrant colours. Ratio wise I also think Galarian Farfetch’d would be the more balanced meal!

Yet when I look at the duck itself I can not help but feel that the Kantonian Farfetch’D would be tastier. I do not know why… but sometimes you see a pig or a cow and think.. that seems like a tasty animal.. while other times you think, eeeew, I don’t want that in my Big Mac. It’s that whole Bancho-Vibe Galarian Farfetch’D has. I’d think kissing a princess would be nicer than Kissing Jolene Kujo or Poison from Final Fight.. would be not as nice of a kiss then Sailor Moon. Sometimes you just know these things right?! I feel Galarian Farfetch’D would be the junkfood duck! The one that ends up in the peking duck at that budget chinese restaurant while Kantonian Farfetch’D would be found at Bistro La Duchesse du Carnard Douce, or something! Now it would be awesome if we could mix and match! Kantonian Bird.. with Galarian Leek.. but that sounds like that might be a delicacy I can’t afford.

Fruit: Cherubi or Applin

I failed to come up with a good vegetable this or that. My initial idea would be Oddish vs Bouncesweet.. but Oddish is Poisonous. So out go the turnips. Then Amoonguss versus Shinotic for Mushrooms.. but Amoonguss is poisonous. Shroomish and Shinotic are too different. In the world of Pokémon.. if it’s green it is most likely bad for you! The kelp of Dhelmise drains life and don’t even get me started on how many leafs might actually be Razor leafs?! No it’s best not to eat your veggies in the world of Pokémon! Fruit however offers a few options. Cherubi and Applin are both tiny pokémon with relatively low stats and a mostly harmless move pool. I think Applin might learn apple acid….but apple vinegar is a kitchen staple so that is safe. Apples and Cherries are both fairly popular fruits but both have a bit of a problem. The cherry has mutated into having a second head which might be a bit of an unsettling sight.. after all cherries might be to tiny to cut off the face.. so for those not wishing to eat something with a face.. this could be trouble.

Applin however is an apple that has a worm in it.. only in this case the worm is a tiny dragon.. somehow this causes it to merge with the apple and the idea of a worm in an apple is a pretty gross idea. Besides that there are plenty of normal apples in the pokémon world, but cherries are uncertain. Why eat the one apple that can fight back? I personally think that a worm living in an apple and having merged with said fruit is probably ceviched in the apple acid and might actually taste nice, still it is a pretty gross idea.. much more so than a two faced cherry! My favourite cake is a Black Forest cake and my favourite fruit is a cherry! Though peaches are close.. but since there is no peach Pokémon.. I had to pit the cherry against the apple.. and while the Apple definitely has the tastier evolution.. I can’t escape the feeling that the little red guy looks super tasty! Both in it’s regular AND shiny form!

Dessert: Slurpuff or Alcremie

Let’s end with desert! This one is a tough one. Alcremie is very VERY close to being my favourite Pokémon of all time, but could I imagine myself eating one?! Yes! Alcreamy is the whipped cream Pokémon, decorated with fruit and other things. That is pretty tasty! I loved whipped cream, it is neutral and you can make a delicious dessert with it by combining it well.. it’s everything’s best friend! Slurpuff on the other hand is a Meringue. which means it is egg whites whisked into stiff peaks and usually a lot of sugar! Meringue is a great desert if you combine! Like with Sea salted caramel and dark chocolate.. or with lemon! Slurpuff also has a great nose .. amazingly so! So he can help you find the ingredients… but that is kinda cruel! So I won’t do that! I really love Slurpuff and Alcremie so I would need to eat pieces of them in a dish I can not make a dish with them!

Alcremie has a big pro over Slurpuff though, it comes in many flavours and options! Depending if you spin your cream right or left and how hard you can whip there are 71 Alcremies for you to whip up including it’s gigantamax cake form. However there are a few pretty gross sounding Alcreamies as well! Mint cream with Clover?! Salted Cream with Ribbons?! Those don’t sound very tasty… but they do look adorable. So this begs the question.. do we compare the average Alcremie flavour against Slurpuff.. or the best tasting one?! Caramel Swirl with Strawberry sweet Alcremie sounds pretty delicious! Or how about a Lemon cream with Blueberry one?! Pretty good if you feel like something more tart!. There is an alcreamie for every mood! And they are not that hard to make either! Meanwhile for Slurpuff you have to find some whipped dream… and I might prefer that to eat that over a Meringue. Plus spinning is good to lose all those calories Alcremie will put on!

And that’s it! A feast of Pokémon has been served! Which ones do you think I called wrong? Do you have another good idea for a This or That?! Which Pokémon would you not mind eating? Let me know in the comments while I go rest up after such a hearty meal! May all your pokémon be tasty! Oyasumi!

I want a Real Estate on Paradise: Reviewing Video Game Castles

Hello Little Lights! In real life I am quite content with my new place in my real life. Yet virtual me has much more of a struggle! I am not made for a tiny little hut! I need an Estate to keep all my things! Not one of those villa mansions either.. I want something special! Something that screams.. someone who is more than just a manager lives here!

So I hired a realtor as we checked out some fairly iconic real estate.. You know I’d probably alter it just a bit so it is safe for me to use.. but you know a girl has to have inspiration. Anyway I found this Realtor named Phil.. he kind of is a geek! Met him in some virtual game.. and today we are looking at some of the most iconic Real Estate in video games.

Dracula’s Castle (Castlevania)

Phil : So this is the first place I would like you to see, it’s a classical gothic structure, stemming from 1094, and belonged to a guy named Mathias Cronqvist, a powerful alchemist that lived up until the end of the 1990’s. It has about 200 rooms and can travel dimensions and locations, as it has shown up in Europe, Transylvania but also Japan as well. It is also known to change shape and sizes to fit wherever and whenever it is needed. I will be honest, the original owner has passed away in the castle.. as I am legally obligated to tell you this… in fact he has been murdered in his castle by a blonde man with long hair and a whip… and the palace might be a bit of a fixer upper.. but I think it can provide you years of happiness

Pinkie: Phil this is Dracula’s castle from Castlevania isn’t it?! Why do you use to name Mathias Cronqvist, now I have to explain to my readers that in Castlevania lore, Dracula is not an alter ego of Vlad Tepes, but of an alchemist who made himself immortal through his science and all that stuff. Besides I am not sure this place is for me. It looks quite gloomy. I might become more than a manager soon, but I am pretty sure I won’t be turning evil or a vampire! If anything I am trying to become less nocturnal and Rainbows can’t be out in the dark.

Phil: Well it has a library, it has a dinner room, it has a piano room and even it’s own swimming pool! You made a big deal out of wanting your own swimming pool which I don’t really get because don’t you have some amazing pools in Paradise?! I guess this palace is a bit of a fixer upper, you might need to fix some staircases fixed but that should not be to hard! It comes pretty cheap ever since the creators wanted to fix more on pachinko machines, the castle has been neglected a bit so you can pick it up without overspending.

Pinkie: Sure Phil, then tell me how we get from the main hall to the dining room. If you can explain it to me in less than a paragraph I will consider buying this place.

Phil: I think that’s a bit unfair.. it is easy enough! All you need to do is gather a red orb from the music room, then kneel at a pond , a staircase that leads your underwater will be revealed. You need to follow the tunnel and then choose the third mirror on the second floor from of the study and enter it and it will take you straight to the drawbridge that if it is open will take you to the dining room, If not you might need to take a little detour by getting a grappling hook..to move onto a higher platform.. but we can just build a staircase there to work around that.

Pinkie: I think you know why I am passing on this. I don’t want to need Nintendo Power to find my bedroom each night.. let’s go look at the next lot.. but before we go.. I really need to pee, could I use the bathroom here?!

Phil: Sure all you need to do is walk up the half broken stairs, take a little leap of faith down from the overpass, defeat the giant bat in the pantry so it drops a key that lets you access the west wing. Follow that to the end by jumping a few gaps and dodging some medusa heads and it will lead you right to the clock tower the bathroom is at the top.. it really is nice for the drainage.. you never have any smell or annoying kids throwing fireworks in the sewer to make your toilet spill.

Hyrule Castle (Legend of Zelda Series)

Phil: Okay.. I am sorry you died twice while trying to get to the bathroom, that was my fault.. This palace is actually owned by a titular character. It follows a more classic structure and has plenty of space. A princess much like … Oh right… A Smash Brothers character I guess, lived here and many of her incarnations have found happiness in this castle. Her father has been murdered in it only once .. so it already has way less deaths to it than most other castles we will visit. It already has been restored properly for the potential of Breath of the Wild 2.. and it has only gotten larger over time.

Pinkie: This is actually quite nice Phil.. but there seems to be a very thick wallpaper on the walls, I don’t really like it. .can I paint over that?! It seems like it might go a bit soggy if I do.

Phil: Don’t worry you can paint over it.. the thick wall paper has been in place because the castle got devastated and converted to a fortress of evil for a bit.. during the era of the hero of time. You know six magical seals were placed. spirits of some sages were imprisoned.. it all resulted in a bit of an edgy architecture, the rightful owner restored it to its previous condition.

Pinkie: Ah I see.. how unfortunate for the rightful owner! I would not like it if someone came and took my castle and made it into a dark fortress! So what’s that greenish looking residue on the ceiling, it kind of looks like mold!

Phil: It’s dried in Algae actually, you see a couple of years later the country of Hyrule got completely flooded and the castle became completely submerged for many years! The princess became a pirate and all that unless a new hero could be found.. but after the evil was defeated it dried right up! You might find a few pin bones here and there..but nothing a good round with a vacuum cleaner can’t fix up.

Pinkie: Okay.. but is it still a flooding hazard now? I mean I am Dutch so we know how to make dry land…but that sounds awfully costly! I also notice a lot of plaster work has been renewed and the cellar has a do not enter sign? Why is that then?

Phil: Well fairly recently the entire castle was destroyed because the evil forces took over four fire giant animal mecha’s and layed the castle in ashes. The hero of the wild took control of them back.. but not before the evil created all sorts of spider cyclops.. it really hurt the drywall. The evil was defeated by the giant animal mechas firing a combined beams at him… but unfortunately the wine cellar now is just a crater. You know.. this castle does end up getting cursed or destroyed a lot.. given how unlucky you can be this might not be the purchase for you… I might be able to sell it to Pepper though.

Pinkie: Who is Pepper? Why would you sell him this thing? This is a timebomb! It gets destroyed like every other generation?! And why do all the shadowy corners of the castle have this dog pee scent to them?!

Dr Wily’s Castle (Mega Man)

Pinkie: Phil are you really trying to sell me Dr Wily’s castle?! I mean the music here is SOOOO good that I would almost consider it ..but this is an architectural nightmare. I know my taste in things can be a bit garish at times.. but this is pushing it. Maybe Indigo and Kuro would like it but why would I like a building that has a huge satellite dish, a giant skull and some ribs.. a rocket.. that in the original design actually is more like a bullet.. and some silo’s that look like they belong on a farm?! I want a brick castle not a steel one! That is super cold and I am a fairy type! Steel is super effective against me! So no I can already tell I will pass on this one.

Phil: Yeah I guess this one might not be for you, you are going for a more classical vibe right? You know as Realtor I am obligated to at least show you a different style. But if you look for a princess castle we will look for something traditional. Sorry about that sometimes I can make this mistake as I come from such a Modern Family.

Pinkie: Okay.. I wrote that joke.. and I might not get any emmy’s for it .. but for the sake of this post i’ll say, You are a funny man Phil!

Phil: Thank you, it’s actually a fact that if you look up the word funny inside an encyclopedia you see my face! I am very proud of it! And sorry for wasting your time! But hey isn’t it cool to see this in real imaginary life?!

Ted: Actually that word is pronounced encyclopeahdia! I do agree with Pinkie though this place is an architectural nightmare.. besides it garish looks those eyes in the skull will give very big problems with heat regulation, the use of such varying materials such as bone, steel , brick and red plastic will also make sure that your house expands in various degrees when it is heated up by sunshine which would cause significant structural damage over time. The palace also has a lot of self destruct buttons which is trouble when you run with a cast as wild as Pinkie’s.

Pinkie: Who invited you here?! You know what.. you can stay.. lots of these palaces have been needing changes , you might be useful. Besides.. now I got two sitcom characters and WandaVision is super popular right now.. I might be able to bank on their success by doing this weird cross over thingamajig myself.

Ted: Cool, while we go to the next lot , how about I tell you the story of how I met the mother of my children?!

Phil & Pinkie: NO!!!!!

Princess Peach Castle (The Mario Series)

Phil: So you seem to like Nintendo so I figured let’s try this one as well, this one might be a bit pricey to get but it needs the least work. It is in functioning order.. and it also doubles as a dimensional hubworld , you can hang up a painting of Scott and jump straight through his blog by jumping through a painting. I love Scott! he talks about such great tech! There is room for a lot of those rooms.. and the castle is pretty much cleaned of all other furniture so you can move right in! The times of the princess being kidnapped is mostly over now, she recently plays a more active role in adventures so she is looking to move into a bit of a smaller place. With a bigger kitchen so she can make more cakes! Also perhaps a bit of added security! So yes you might need a few tech upgrades here and there but over all I think this could be the perfect castle for you!

Pinkie: You actually might be right Phil, I really like this one.. though I really need to do something about that stained glass Window that is shaped like Princess Peach! I mean I don’t like the coconuts of the island to start worshipping the wrong person! I know I am getting some design changes soon.. so I might not look her a lot.. unsure do you think we can change that window Ted?

Ted: That may proof a bit trickier than you think you see that skylight opens up a dimensional portal to the sky domain if light shines trough it.. if we wear it down at the wrong time of day…or take to long we may actually rip a fabric in the space time continuum which could have disastrous results.. We may even be dragged straight to hell as depicted by the Poët Dante who’s famous work Inferno has become the blueprint of ultimate dystopia as we know it! If I were to quote him in the original Italian it would go a little something like this….

Pinkie: Shut up Ted!

Frederik: Oh Hai everyone.. I see you chose a second grade realtor.. while actually I am the one that should have been listed, so I just came to tell you all that and maybe start a bit of a fight with Phil.. as it will be good for the ratings! I know what you are going to see, Frederic you work in New York and the Mushroom Kingdom is not in there.. but if you have ever seen the Super Mario Bros movie.. you know the Mushroom Kingdom is actually set beneath Brooklyn.. so this is my turf! How dare you take on other Realtors.

Pinkie: Go away Frederik I doubt any of my readers will know who you are! I wanted to use a Realtor for this post most people know and I first selected Kirstie and Allan from House Hunters UK .. but I opted out of that as well.. so you can go away too! Don’t you dare bring Josh Altman into this either.. these castles are not Million Dollar listings.. we pay fictional money here not real!

Frederic: Oh.. why did you not say that from the beginning anyway.. not interested then.. see you later alligator! I must say I love Paradise though! Can I grab a cocktail?! Maybe some of the delicious food as well?

Pinkie: Yeah yeah go ahead.. I am am busy! Phil… I love this place. It’s so cute and girly and it has a nice garden . how much would I need to offer to get this.. and could you please send these toads away?! It might be kind of unprofessional to let them hear how excited I am about this! They may make sure Peach gives a higher counter offer.

Phil: Oh no you don’t need to worry about these Toads Pinkie, they won’t spy for Peach, they come with the castle

Pinkie: …….. I’m Out!

Where did the "Shaking Toad" gif come from? - Album on Imgur

A Minecraft Palace

Ted: Pinkie, is your existence not based around that of the V-Tuber and do you not seek to return to YouTube once your health Issues pick up?!

Pinkie: That is true
.. why?!

Ted: One word:
Minecraft

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is confused-pinkie.png

Pinkie: Building my own castle?!
That seems like a lot of effort.

Ted: For Realz
And hey the effort could be video content!

Pinkie: I don’t want to spend two months building a palace and I bump my head all the time! If everything has blocky edges I’d hurt myself a lot! Plus I ‘d have to use a lot of cheats.. unless we find like a very little version of Steve that can just build a huge palace that it seems round it might not be a very good idea.

Ted: Look what I found though it is a tropical Sandstone palace made in Minecraft set on a tropical island! It has a lot of space, and you can completely customise your house! It could be a fun thing to do with some members or Staff as well. You know build Paradise Island in Minecraft! There. Sandstone will keep you cool on hot days but also holds some heat in winter so it is a good way to build a home, it beats making a house of wool blocks and then getting a fire don’t you think!

Pinkie: Wow that’s a pretty palace I’d like to make something like that.. but let’s be honest I do not really have the patience for that. Could we not just imagine this is kind of like my palace?! Just a lot of pinker?! Also who told you about my wool castle?! It still hurts! It was so fluffy! Then it was all gone! Let’s pass on Minecraft for now and wait untill I have enough followers to help me build such a thing!

Stormwind Keep (World of Warcraft)

Phil: Okay this one might be a bit bland for your taste, but it is highly customisable.. It’s built out of mostly white bricks, and has held kings of Stormwind for many generations. It’s also set in a world where cities and castles can fly.. so getting it to Paradise should not be too hard. It comes with a courtyard, throne room and has several rooms that can easily be adapted to suit all your needs, it even has a bit of a protective wall, to keep the simps out! It hasn’t been destroyed as much. Lot’s of rooms and no Toads. It doesn’t come with any staff as most people prefer to be stuck to a Stormwind of the past. There is a lot of time shenanigans with a gnome, it somehow exists in several realms and some of them are pretty dead and we might be able to snipe one of these during a server merge or a Timeweaver event or whatever they are called.

Pinkie: Hmm I don’t dislike Stormwind keep! It does look nice without looking braggy! Those Lionheads can be replaced I assume?! How about the blue roofs can we make them pink Ted?!

Ted: I got into a lot of troubles due to Lionheads so I will happily take this one down .. Stormwind itself has coloured roofs for all districts, the mage district has purple shingles if we sun bleach them those will appear Pink.. .. Would you like to change the Lionhead into an effigy of yourself?

Pinkie: Eeew No! But yeah the Lionhead is a pretty tacky icon.. like .. oh we are a human organisation in a fantasy setting.. lets use blue banners and golden Lions.. .for some reason that is really unoriginal. It is a bit of a bland generic and the castle has that around it as well but.. to be honest it is filled with a lot of characters that are spoofs of other things, so it does really fit! Let’s make an offer! So how much do you think we should offer Phil?!

Phil: Oh don’t worry all we have to do is tweet that Diablo II Remastered will NOT have HD cutscenes.. that should shut down a server or two! It will be cheap! Oh and have you heard about the new subscription plan?! This place will be a steal!

Pinkie: Ahhh Cancel Culture at it’s finest! Now we should go on a hunt for some nice things to customise my new place! Thanks Phil.. Thanks Ted! And thanks to the reader who put up with this entire post! I hope you all shine on little lights! Oyasumi! Oh and if you want to help me in the accessory hunt.. you might want to consider supporting my Kofi!