Spoink – Pinkie's Paradise

Snowy and the Seven Spoink Part 2

Today we continue the Fairy-Type Tale, Snowy and the Seven Spoinks. Which will get a third and final installment next
In the first part we saw an Alolan Vulpix being born from a Ditto and his wife Queen Ninetales. But after the queen disappeared he remarried another Ninetales to take care of Snowy… things did not end up well. The queen was obsessed with having the highest IV’s and EV’s in the land as her Rotom Dex told her Snowy had surpassed her after eating some Calcium. She ordered the huntsman to kill the little pokémon, but he took pity on her and let her escape in the forest. As the Queen demanded a heart to devour everything seemed lost for Decidueye when he suddenly encountered Swinub.
Catch up on part 1 here, otherwise back to our story.

Chapter 4: A Cabin in the woods.

Snowy ran and ran until her little feet could not carry her anymore, tears flowing for her eyes still. How could her stepmother be so evil? Why would she need to die? Now she could never go home and eat food from that nice spot again! It was all so unfair. Eventually Snowy collapsed and fell of a small ledge, landing in a soft pile of leaves fatigue immediately took over as her world faded away. She would have nightmares that night of her mother being chased by those horrible capturing humans, with their delicious food. Yet the humans would then turn into her evil stepmother who grinned as Snowy’s mother was taken away. She was her father being fainted and she was all alone. The huntsman showed up as he shot a spirit shackle at her through her heart. With Snowy dead in her dream she jolted awake.

Confused she looked at her surroundings, she barely remembered last night. Where was she? There were some mountains nearby, big cliffs as well, here and there she could see some caves in the mountain side. She was near the edge of the forest, trees began to thin revealing more mountains ahead. If Snowy would have kept running she might have ran into a dangerous cave.. or worse of a ledge. Snowy was scared of heights so decided to stick to the forest for now.. carefully walking again on her wounded paws. She would not be able to walk very far today, she would need some rest and food. Using her nose she sniffed to see if she could detect some food. Her senses told her there was something sweet smelling nearby. Following the scent took the Alolan Vulpix to a small quaint cabin with the door being wide open. There were a bunch of apples just sitting in a crate near the doorway. Snowy was sure the pokémon who lived here would not mind if she took a single apple right? Maybe it would be better if she just asked. ‘Hello is anyone there I need help’ Snowy said while popping her head in the door. She got no response as she noticed the cabin was in terrible shape. It sure was a mess in here. ‘Hello? Please I am injured and very hungry’ Snowy said while sniffing a bit, fighting against tears. Still no response. Could they be out? The place looks like a pigsty! Seven beds standing in the room but all the linens are wrinkled terribly, the slatted bases completely crooked. It kinda looks like Snowy’s bad after she jumped on it waiting for her mother to tell her a story all that time ago. As Snowy walked inside she noticed the kitchen was a mess as well. It looks like someone tried to make pancakes with nanab berry, but the batter is both on the ceiling and the floor, like if someone tried to flip the pan way to soon!. There would also be a lot of apples and a bunch of very rounded rocks on the floor.. some rocks smooshed some apples, all in all this place looks like a mess. Snowy then decided ‘I will clean this house then take a few apples as payment’ And so she began to sang a song while cleaning as an aurora veil appeared around her.

The Queen licked her lips after devouring the heart, that tasted very well. The heart of her step daughter would have made her even stronger now! She would look to the rotomdex on the wall and speak her usually worlds. ‘Magic Rotomdex on the wall, who is the most valuable pokémon of them all’. The rotom looked up at her a bit tired. ‘Again, my queen I already told you.. but very well I shall oblige…scanning….’ the queen snarled at the dex, she would dispose of him soon enough. ‘Scan complete, While non hold as much Effort Value as Decidueye, non have more IV’s than Snowy, her EV’s are quite good too she nearly is the perfect pokémon to whom even you pale my que…..’ The rotom dex was hit by a powerful Hex attack of the queen. He lived.. but cried out in pain. The huntsman betrayed her, she would deal with him later, now she had to deal with Snowy herself. The Queen would push the bookcase away revealing a hidden staircase. Walking down the stairs she entered the dungeons that had ‘collapsed’ all those years ago. She glared inside the first cell she came across, a weak fox like creature was chained to a wall there. ‘Your daughter is causing me trouble!’ the queen said. Ninetales stood up looking weakened. The queen smiled back at her evilly. ‘I guess I am going to have to use the same tactic on her I used to kill our husband’. Ninetales looked shook and teared up..but tried to sound brave. ‘Snowy will never listen to you’ The Queen snickered. “Maybe not to me..but to an old lady perhaps’ The queen than reverted her disguises and turned back into a Ditto.

Chapter 5: The Seven Spoink

Hardy the Spoink came back from a day of looking for pearls and mushrooms. They found some of both in the caves and he and his six pals were nearly back home! Jolly the spoink was following him closely, a very fast spoink that had the smallest pearl but he was always high spirited. Hasty was the third in line nearly as fast as Jolly but while in the caves he would rush his work a bit causing him to be a bit accident prone. He would never be able to get his defences up in time. Naughty was the the fourth in line, he always kind of wanted to walk in the middle because he liked to trick other spoink. He was a bit beefier than most other spoinks some of his friends even said he looked like a Jojo’s character. He liked to wrestle and muck about but because of it he wasn’t the most intelligent of the bunch not being able to stand up to the mental might of his brothers. Behind him was Quirky, the weirdest of the seven, he wasn’t particularly good or bad in anything but he really liked to perform skits he saw on tv once. He was mostly known from portraying Manuel from Fawlty Towers really well. Behind him was Sassy, the female spoink of the group, she at times could be very hard to deal with, she wouldn’t allow any man to mess with her mind but she was by far the slowest spoink of the group. The others always kept asking her why she said they should talk to the hand, as Spoinks don’t even have any. Even though she was the slowest of the bunch the line was closed by Lonely, he walked at some distance of the group. Lonely didn’t care about the pearl hunt as much! He would much rather stay at home all by himself and watch shounen anime shows, he learned kung-fu by watching those. He always told the group that he preferred 2d pokémon over 3d, wishing that he could be 2d himself. He was a bit cowardly though.. when Naughty would wrestle him he would not be able to defend himself as he just defended his pearl.

Right before reaching their house they began to sing a song. “Ho Hey, Ho Hey, we survived another day’ followed by some cheerful oinking. Not only would this song not get copyright stricken, in this day and age no one would saying gayfully about going to work anymore, instead they would be relieved the day is over. As the song concluded the party of seven arrived at their cabin, sighing that they would have to try and deal with the mess again. Making pancakes wasn’t that easy f you are constantly bouncing. Their beds could also not really handle them jumping on it all the time but they had to make due. Their home was also filled with pearls that weren’t all that functional. Perhaps those could be moved outside.
But what was this! Hardy noticed the pearls already had been moved outside! Both the grey and the red ones. He could not remember doing that. “Hasty go take a look’ he ordered. The latter wasted no time and rushed inside, without thinking too much of its own safety. “Clean” he responded. “Don’t you mean clear’ Sassy asked. ‘No I mean it’s clean!’ Hasty pointed it’s stumpy hand to signal everyone could watch. As the seven gathered in the doorway, they noticed a perfectly cleaned home as well as three eaten apples. ‘Oh HECK NO’ Sassy shouted as she noticed a little fox like creature sleeping on her bed, which had been fixed by having an icy block under it now”

Chapter 7: Grampa Drampa

Snowy was woken up by seven loudly oinking creatures. “What is she” Lonely asked from a bit of a distance. “I know nothing” Qurikly explained from a distance. ‘She might be a shiny Vulpix” Hardy concluded. Snowy looked and yawned. ‘She hella cute” Sassy said. “I am Snowy .. I am an ice type Vulpix… I was wounded and hungry so I slept here… and took a few apples but I cleaned in trade…” Snowy sounded a bit scared and confused surrounded by so many bouncy Pokémon. ‘There is a bad person after me so I was scared and I have no where to go’ Snowy teared up again she was still having a hard time. The spoink looked at each other and huddled together whispering. Eventually Jolly stepped foward and said ‘Well we got some good news for you kid, if you cook and clean in this place we can let you stay here for a while isn’t that a good deal’ Snowy bucked in excitement. Then she had a realisation. Wouldn’t you get in trouble for reducing me , the stereotypically female character of this story to just cooking and cleaning, while you a predominantly male group moves to work?’ Sassy winked ‘Well I am a strong woman who can handle myself in the manual labour amongst the guys.. and you.. have fix the bed so your a little handyman as well, I think that should be enough to keep this thing PC’. Snowy nodded! Okay I will stay then! So Snowy took residence in the Spoink Residence with her growing closer to the cute little pigs as she made them nice meals they would not mistake for pearls

Meanwhile Queen Ditto was making preparations for it’s plans. Ever after fool of a “brother’ rose to the throne he had been planning to rule over this kingdom, as it had great IV’s and EV’s.. and the king had much lower scores. By capturing his wife he would cause the king to grief and then when it transformed into that same looking ninetales he knew the king would settle for her. Using the castle’s secret dungeons for it’s plans only Snowy was in the way of the absolute rule of Queen Ditto. Like Ditto did to her father , the queen would poison her as well. In a disguise she would hand the daughter the favorite berry of the king laced with a terrible poison that causes a fake death. Little did they know! To give this berry to Snowy the queen needed a god disguise though, looking through her prisoners she found an old drampa that kinda looked like an sweet grandpa. ‘Perfect , she said as her bodily features began to shift towards that of an bearded green dragon. Minutes later Queen Drampa rose from the dungeons , looking at the just recovered rotom she asked. “Magic Rotom Dex on the wall, what is the area in which I can find Alolan Vulpix’. The Rotom Dex displayed ONE tiny in the entire land. ‘Excellent’ the evil stepmother said.

A few days later, while Snowy was singing at home she heard a knock on the door. The spoink were away for pearl hunting so she was home alone. Snowy opened the door to find a old Drampa standing in front of the door. “Greetings Child” he spoke sounding a bit fatigued. ‘I have travelled across the land to sell peoples these delicious Aguav Berries, rumors have it they were the kings favorite, and after his unfortunate passing I haven’t been really making any sales.. I want to feed my grandkids. Snowy stuck her tung out. Eeew I don’t like Aguav Berries… My dad always ate mine.. and my mean stupid stepmother always tried to make me eat mine. She’s a poopyhead meany mo! And a whore to!’. Drampa bit his lip… “You should..not speak ill of people that much child… she is a great queen…afterall’ . Vulpix shook her head ‘No she is like the worst queen there ever was.. and she smelled funny almost like slime’ Drampa took a step back muttering. ‘Are you sure you would not try an Aguav Berry? Maybe I can get you some other berries what is your favorite then? ‘ He asked. ‘Well I like Pecha Berries’ the vulpix said after some thinking. “Ah yes I can give you some of these tomorrow is that okay?’Vulpix nodded and would close the door. That evening she would tell the Spoink off the berry salesman and they asked her to order some Oran berries from the man.

Drampa showed up the next day carrying some Pecha berries he had laced with the poison the previous night, it took him all night to make the brew as he had to reside in the wild , with the castle being to far away. This time the poison was sure to work. ‘Hello again little lady I brought your Pecha berries the first order is free.’ He smiled at her trying to look like the gentle old man in his dungeon. ‘Oh thank you.. my friends the Spoink want to order some Oran berries as well could we do that? ‘ Snowy asked while bucking with excitement for her own berries. ‘Only if I can see you eating one of those berries you like so much Nothing would make me happier than a cute little princess like you enjoy the fruits of my labour. Snowy ate one of the berries and smiled. “That was delicious mister.. but it did have a bit of a weird aftertaste… did you use like a lot of mulch to grow these?’ The queen was baffled to why it’s plans weren’t working. She should have dropped dead did the poison fail? Recovering from the surprise Drampa eventually spoke. ‘Ah glad you enjoy.. Oran Berries for tomorrow right?’ Our heroine nodded as they parted ways. Back in the woods the Queen yelled out to her companion who came flying towards her. Rotom Dex, Rotom Dex! Why didn’t the poison work isn’t poison supposed to be super effective on her? ‘ Rotom Dex started an automated bit speech ‘ When a Pokémon consumes a Pecha Berry it will be healed of any poison. The words the queen uttered after that do not belong in a fairy-tale but you might find them if you watch a Gordon Ramsay show.

Chapter 8: Long live the queen

‘Here are your Oran Berries dear the Drampa said the next day, why don’t you taste one to see if it’s good’. Meanwhile on the inside queen Ditto s mind was filled with rage, she had to make yet another version of poison and had not slept for two days now. Vulpix nodded and bucked in excitement to taste another tasty berry. ‘I’d like that’ she said, moving closer to eat the berry. ‘Oh wait I should pay first’ she said. The Drampa grumbled. ‘No try one first if they are bad you don’t need to pay’ Snowy smiled and happily ate the Oran Berry. Immediately she noticed something was wrong.’What is happening to me.. I don’t feel so good Mister Drampa’ .. the queen dropped her disguise and grinned. ‘Hahaha foolish girl.. I poisoned you just like your father did and now you will die like him and I will be the Pokémon with the most value!, I have been planning all this since I captured your mother in the dungeons’ Snowy gasped, not only by the realisation but also because she could not get any air. The queen was narrating their evil plans in some sort of monologue but before the queen could finish Snowy quite literally dropped dead.

In the caves meanwhile lunchtime had come, the Spoinks were happily bouncing together. For their lunch they would have some of the Pecha Berries , Snowy saved for them, she was such a sweet girl saving some of her favorite berries to hand out to her friends. While they all took a bite out of their piece of fruit together, Hardy Quirky and Hasty came to the same realization. ‘These don’t taste right, there is some weird thing with it. Hasty jumped to conclusions. ‘If these don’t taste right perhaps they are poisoned’ Hardy wanted to scoff this away but then remembered that Snowy told her a bad person wanted to harm her as his mouth fell open. ‘Oh my Arceus” we must go back this instance! The seven hopped home, Hasty and Jolly rushing ahead came home just in time to overheard a Ditto talking to vulpix on the floor. ‘And once I rid the world of Decidueye who is actually a Ditto as well, none can hold a candle against me and I shall rule this world forever. ‘ Jolly hopped up and said. ‘Hey blobbo step away from our friend’. The Ditto looked back at them. ‘She is dead anyway my job is done’ Hasty leaped towards her with tears in it’s little eyes. Oh my Arceus, you killed snowy you bastard! You will pay for this. The pig pokémon began to chase the pink blob , which fled quite scared. They might harm her.. she had no offensive moves, even if she had better IV’s she would have to transform into something. ‘She then turned and smiled as she turned into a spoink’ Now unable to catch up with her the Spoink soon fell behind.
“She is to fast Hasty said’ .. “It will be stronger than all of us. ‘I have an idea’ Hardy said’ ‘We all toss our pearls at her’ Sassy looked confused. ‘Are you trying to get us killed as well fool? If we toss our pearls we can attack anymore,.. and I doubt they heavy enough to knock her out’ Hardy nodded.. I don’t want you to hit her with the pearls, I want you to throw slightly over her.. or at least aim for the face. Soon they other Spoink realised his plan and they readied their pearls’ “You better duck or I am gonna outqueen you’ Sassy said while sloppily tossing her pearl. The queen grinned and ducked as commanded laying down on the floor’ Jolly’s pearl flew just passed her, she would be safe as long as she remained lying on the ground. A sensation suddenly hit the queen, something was wrong… why wasn’t her heart beating? What was this magic? Before the least pearl was tossed… the queen was dead her heart simply stopped beating.

And this is where we leave things for now! In the final part next week, we will see how the Spoinks will deal with the loss of Snowy and find out if there still can be a happy ever after for this group. We will also see what became of the huntsman! So my apologies for not being able to finish this as quickly as I thought I could, but my blog post would become to long otherwise! I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.
Remember I am not weird, just very pink!
Until we read again.

Snowy and the Seven Spoink (Part 1)

Fairy-type tales time my sweet little monsters! When you read this you will most likely be celebrating that you made it through another week of work. So to unwind we will retell a story that was first published in 1812. Written by the brothers Grimm, adapted by Disney in a classic we all love and requested by Raist, a loyal little monster who has been following this blog for a while now! Click on his name to go to his very own blog where he talks about some amazing geek stuff! But without further ado, today we have converted the tale of Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Today Pinkie Cherryblossom presents you: Snowy and the Seven Spoink Part 1 This one will be split into two parts because there is a lot to tell!

Chapter 1: The best value

in a realm very different than ours there lived a king named Ditto!. He was a good and noble king, who had many wives over his life.. Many Maaaaany wives! Yet none he loved so much as his second to last Ninetales. They loved playing together all the time and then one day an egg had suddenly appeared. From this egg came a little Vulpix, whose fur was white as snow, her eyes a mesmerising cobalt blue and when she would sing joyfully a aurora veil would appear dyeing any room she would appear in with beautiful lights. Because she was so different from her mother, and all the other vulpix they decided to name her Snowy. Disaster struck through when Snowy’s mother disappeared. The kings sibling Ditto, informed him of some grave news. It saw the queen get captured by a human. The king and Snowy alike were devastated by this loss. In an attempt to give Snowy a good home King Ditto remarried. He managed to find a Ninetales that looked exactly like her mother exactly like his beloved wife. Yet Snowy always knew, the new ninetales was cold and mean and did not really seem to love the king. She spent most of her time in her own room looking and admiring herself. She was never there for the king, not even when he got sick. Even the best Audino and Chansey in the land could not heal the king, until eventually he fainted. Snowy was all alone now, her stepmother shed but a single tear at the funeral.. and even that one looked fake. The queen withdrew into her quarters again.

The private quarters of the queen were very different than the rest of King Ditto’s palace, it was dark and gloomy, a cauldron bubbling in the back, a very odd somewhat drafty bookcase and stack of pillows where Ninetales slept without her husband. Yet none of these where the items the queen had come here for today. She came here for the item she always came for, the item hanging on her wall. It was an LED display, framed by red plastic. rectangular in shape. Yet the red plastic had a downward crescent shape at the top, and in the middle of its highest point a single red spike would arise. Right above the display it had two closed eyelids. Two protrusions on the either side formed what looked like arms both having a button at the end. This was the queen’s most cherished secret and prized possession as she scraped her throat and addressed it. Magic Rotom Dex on the wall, who is the most valuable pokémon of them all?! The Rotom would open its eyes and spoke. Alolan Vulpix has some great individual values, while Decidueye scores great on effort values, but none have them so well combined as you my queen! You are the best pokémon out there now that King Ditto is gone’. Ninetales saw her own picture appear on the Rotom Dex and grinned menacing.

Chapter 2: Snowy and the Huntsman

A year would pass since the death of the king and much like Ash Ketchum, Snowy did not seem to have aged a day. She was playing on the castle grounds after she was done with all her chores. She wanted to go discover new places of the castle to play in. She discovered some stairs down, it was guarded by Decidueye. An owl like pokémon that had seen many battles and was very strong through experience. He worked for her step-mother but they always good along. ‘Hi huntsman can I go play down there’ Snowy would ask cheerfully’ The Pokémon looked at her from trough red glasses, his leafed cowl would shake telling her no. He straightened his tall white body and puffed up his beige feathered wings he could use as bows , to look a bit more intimidating. ‘ No Snowy you can not, has your mother never told you? This used to be a place called the dungeons, though there were a lot of mysteries in there to explore before, we had a cave in.. just before former queen Ninetales disappeared. We suspect it was the humans! They must have set traps which destroyed those subterranean levels, and your mother told me to guard this area and not even let you in’ Snowy puffed up her cheeks and said ‘she’s not my mother’ The owl gave Snowy a headpat before winking at her. ‘But you know they say somewhere in the castle there is a palace that still leads into the dungeons, if you are really brave’ Snowy got all excited ‘Do you know where it HM?’ she said while bucking in excitement. HM was a her way of addressing the huntsman, it felt more personal that way. The huntsman laughed and said ‘I do not ..but tell you what if you are a good girl and go play outside, I will keep my EYE out for you’. Snowy nodded excited and dashed of to go play outside. The huntsman chuckled, while wondering if it had actually been a good idea to tell her about this, he hated to see her sad though she had been through so much already.

While playing outside Vulpix wandered of into the wilds, she went to her favorite spot in the woods. For some reason there was an opening in the forest where huge wooden constructions would rest. Large wooden X shapes with a wooden surface on top. To the side of each of these X’es would aos be to lower smaller wooden surfaces. HM once told me they were called “picnic tables’ She liked it because sometimes, food wood randomly appear on this spot. This time as well. A brown container lay on the ground holding some pallets that smelled like Nanab berries lay on the floor. It was labeled C-A-L-C-I-U-M. Vulpix had no idea what it was but she would eat it anyway..it smelled really good and as she ate the Calcium pallets she felt herself being more healthy and even a bit stronger then before.

The queen was ready for her ritual again, having entered her room again a wailing on the wind can be heard from her bookcase. She ignored this and went straight to the item she cherished so much, that what would confirm she was still the most valuable pokémon. ‘Magic Rotom Dex on the wall, who is the most valuable of us all?’ she said once more.
Rotom Dex awoke a bit grumpy. ‘Like I told you before your huntsman has great EV’s ..but you are…… wait…… Alolan Vulpix has gotten a fair bit of effort values and now is the strongest of you all. She outclasses you in both Individual as Effort values and…’ the rom was interrupted as the queen sent a powerful hex towards it causing it to flicker for a bit!|
‘Huntsman I need to speak to you now! I got a job for’ the queen said while storming towards the throne room.

Chapter 3: A bad day to be a swinub!

‘‘HUNTSMAN!!!!’ The queen stormed into the throneroom seeing the decidueye bow to her. ‘I have a job for you’ she hissed coldly. ‘Anything for my queen’ was the answer she got prompting a cruel smirk from her mouth. ‘You need to kill Snowy.. that brat has become an eyesore I need her gone… bring her into the woods tonight and bring me her heart so I may devour it’. The huntsman went silent , cold sweat appearing on his face. After a while he began to stammer. ‘M–m-my q-q-queen she’s s young… i am sure’ ‘I AM A FIRE TYPE with ghost moves .. fail me.. and you will die… and I will show your wife your fainted corpse’. Decidueye seemed to mostly scare of the last part. ‘Y-You wouldn’t .. please my queen’ Ninetales laughed cruelly ‘she will not mourn you after I show her… she will hate you’ ‘I…I…I shall do as you wish my queen’. With a flourish of his wings the huntsman went out standing at the drawbridge waiting for Snowy to return.

The alolan vulpix was on her way back to the castle, she wasn’t allowed to play outside at dark, well her father never allowed her too, stepmother couldn’t care less, but Snowy would honour her father’s rules. Seeing HM standing at the drawbridge she bucked a bit in joy to tell him about her adventure today. She ran towards him ‘Hi HM … I found some really tasty pellets today, they were super jummy and i feel super excited’ . The owl looked to the ground. ‘Snowy.. I … need you .. to show me where they were…. I’m….eager… to see… if there is more’. The vulpix tilted her head ‘you sound sad.. is everything alright?’ The bird shivered ‘Just do what I ask’. Snowy a bit scared by his sadness figured some pellets would cheer him up however so she ran in front of him singingly. A small little aurora veil would appear. Reaching the picnic tables again, Decidueye flew up and set on one’s ledge. ‘I am sorry Snowy… the queen has ordered you to die’ said the owl while nooking one of his arrows and pointing it at Snowy.

Tears began to brim from her eyes. ‘But I don’t wanna die.. please HM.. we are friends right… don’t do this?’ Vulpix was frozen in fear she could not go anywhere, by now the moonlight was bouncing of the huntsman giving him a very intimidating look … teared up eyes staring at her and the point of his arrow glimmering when suddenly the arrow began to shake heavily. “I …. I can’t do it, but your moth……the queen she will come after you….. I will distract her Snowy… but you have to run and never come back… leave now… run’! Decidueye shot an arrow close to her paws to scare her away. the vulpix crazed by fear dashed of crying big tears of fear and feeling betrayed, he was her friend , he just tried to kill her, but he helped her as well. Her thoughts raced through her heads.. Maybe the queen killed her father as well, that is a very scary tree, where will she go… would she die?
With this storm of thoughts while constantly moving she had no idea where she was going, the only thing she knew was it was away from the castle.
Decidueye collapsed to the ground, he would die now.. the queen would certainly kill him. His wife would know his terrible secret. He had to come up with a plan of sorts, a way to make sure the queen doesn’t find snowy, a way that she doesnt find out. He would have to find a way to trick her. Suddenly there was some rustling in the bushes. A swinub came out to greet him. ‘ Hello friend, who are you? My name is Swinub… OINK… I saw you fell of that mighty hight thing there and thought you might need help! OiNK! How about some berries OINK! I do not mind sharing mine with a new friend’. The little pig had a bit of an annoyingly high pitched voice it seemed very excited at the sight of a new pokemon though. The decidueye looked at it and sighed ‘You can help me, you are an ice type right?’
The pig jumped in excitement! ‘Oink! That is correct friend! I know I might be super effective against your grass type.. but I have no desire to fight my new best friend! OINK!’ The decidueye spread his wings and looked at the Swinub with a sad look. “I need you to give me something, I need to present my queen’

That is where we leave part one. In the next one Snowy will reach our other titular friends and we can hopefully conclude this story! What secrets do the Queen and Decidueye have, will our little heroine get her happily ever after or will the Queen’s type advantage let her regain the best IV’s and EV’s? Find out next week! Leave a like or a comment on what other Fairy-Type Tales you would like to see and remember,
I am not weird, just very pink!
Until we read again.

Spoink: The worst Pokémon

Aha good day readers, it’s so good to see you all. This week marks the start of us having an official domain, rather than that arceus-ugly one. http://pinkiespokemon.com Is now a fact. A much more pleasant name if I do say so myself. The new domain comes with some stylistic changes. Main-Pinkie has given her persona’s free range to write their content. Before we would to Mon-Days, from now on we have Professor Pinkie’s Pokédex. It’s still the same..but now run my me not bound to a day persé. As restyling is eating on our writing time a bit today I chose a bit of a shorter topic! Spoink, the worst Pokémon.

It’s not bad

First of all to not get our dear pokemon friend upset, when I do say it’s the worst I do not mean to decrease it value as a pocket monster. It is not a bad pokemon to run on your team, nor is it’s design atrocious, in fact it’s pretty cute. No.. spoink’s design flaws are much more set in it’s lore! In the world of Pokémon, it is highly unfunctional. Let’s first talk about it’s design. As you can see here Spoink is an adorable piglike pokémon that was introduced in the Hoenn region. One of the first piglike pokémon, only outdated by swinub. It’s neutral grey body and stubby hands might make you suspect it’s a neutral type at first but you would be mistaken. The pink pearl on their heads are created by clamperl. A deep sea Pokémon that also was first discovered in the Hoenn region for those who mastered the craft of diving. As its name suggest it’s a clamshell pokémon. How the spoink managed to get these pearls is unknown because they are not indigenous to ocean areas. In fact the first place you encounter them is near a volcano close to Flannery’s gym! Throughout the entire series Spoink always prefers mountainous areas. So the relation between Spoink and Clamperl is sketchy at best. However it IS know that spoink use these pearls to enhance their mental powers. Yes this crossup between Piglet and Tigger from Winnie the Pooh is a psychic type. It likes to feed on underground mushrooms and can be considered rather harmless. It is known to have two innate abilities, being Own Tempo, which prevent the pokémon from being confused by any means , or is directly healed from such effects in some cases and Thick Fat. The latter is an ability which reduces damage Fire and Ice type moves by 50%. All in all, it has a cute mythos, a favorable typing for the metagame and some decent pokémon abilities. You can teach it some fun moves as well. How then can we claim its the worst Pokémon.

The Nuzlocke Pokémon

Spoink is what we call the Nuzlocke Pokémon. Nuzlocke is a method of playing a Pokémon game where players choose to a self imposed permadeath system on their pokémon. Players can only capture their first encounter on a route and any pokémon that faints is considered dead. Of course the games doesn’t recognise this, although some fangames do, so pokémon usually end up in a so called death-box. How is Spoink connected to this system you might ask? Well because of its lore. If Spoink is knocked out in battle.. it will certainly die if you don’t withdraw it into your pokéball immediately. As if having your legs replaced by a spring isn’t hard enough of a life, the Pokémon company decided to mess with Spoink a bit more. They decided that it would be cool that this cute little pig’s heart doesn’t pump on it’s own. So when Spoink isn’t happily bouncing around, it’s heart is not pumping. Knocking out a Spoink thusly basically means certain death for the creature. Since I found out this lore titbit, this professor has never knocked out a Spoink anymore… how many have you killed? Such an oversight seems rather cruel in the world of Pokémon.

Poor Poor Spoink

Let’s take it a step further though and take a good look at the implications this lore fact might bring. First of all, by instinct they do know how to sleep while bouncing so at least we will not see insane sleep deprived Spoink trying to take over the world. You can also use sleep moves in a fight against this little one. Anything else however makes you either extremely cruel or a flat out murderer. Paralyse a spoink and it’s dead, freeze it… dead. If you manage to confused it and it would trip due to its confusion it’s most likely dead! The status move burn will not kill it, but since a burned victim loses half their strength it is safe to say it creates major pain when you are physically active..for example let’s say burning. So if we consider it’s lor Spoink is completely and utterly unable to function in battle. It’s an easy prey for predatory creatures as well. Their own mortality urges Spoink to find bigger pearls on their heads to amplify their power even more. A noble goal for these brave little bouncy boys and girls. In comes the anime, which decided to add a flaw to Spoink! Because clearly it did not have enough of those! The weakness the anime chose is to give Spoink bad eyesight. We see Spoink trying to replace it’s pearl, but it is unable to recognise items at all. It becomes clear that it’s eyesight is so bad it can barely even make out shapes. It makes for a funny episode but if we analyse this properly it makes us realises that in a few generations we might only be able to get Spoinks from fossils. The pearl on its head is needed to function well in combat and if Spoink faints its dead. Not being able to recognise what actually is a pearl, really hurts it’s already slim survival chances. If Spoink trips , it might very well die as well but I bet a near blind pig hopping around extremely rough terrain will be fine…. right? Who am I kidding..someone really must have hated their own creation when they came up with Spoink.

It gets even worse

So maybe Spoink has good Pokémon moves, it would not be the first time we see a frail pokémon with some amazing moves. Well unfortunately this is not true either. By looking at it’s natural moveset and base stats we can deduce how a Spoink’s Solo survival chances are.. and things aren’t really looking good. The first giveaway is the fact the Pokémon has Splash in it’s moveset! You know that move that doesnt do anything.
Spoink evolves into Grumpig at level 32 and until that time it learns *drumroll* ONE reliable damage move. Having access to Psybeam, Psywave, Zen Headbutt and Snore in total, only psybeam is reliable. Psywave is a move that does random damage, given the lore we know about Spoink we can assume that is related to how big their pearl is… the anime shown us..they sometimes dont even have a pearl at all. Psywave thusly being disqualified as a reliable move for their survival. Zen Headbutt is a physical move and as to be expected from such a tiny springy pig, it’s physical stats are bad, both in terms of defence and offence. So should Zen Headbutt hit it would only put the little pig in danger, as it’s defences are very weak in melee situations. Snore requires the Pokémon to be asleep to use it. It’s nice that it can defend itself in its sleep but this move will not be very helpful in a direct battle. Spoink doesnt get acces to great boosting moves either, it can learn psych up which copies stat changes from it’s opponent.. meaning at best it can just even the playing field.
However it has the ability to learn magic coat which it can use to prevent it from being burned , frozen or paralyzed. Only moves strictly involving that status without damage are reflect though. At least it’s something. However if Spoink can recognise it’s opponent and assess the threat should remain to be seen.

It’s the worst

A Pokémon which dies when it trips, faints is paralyzed or frozen would be bad enough, and no we are not overreacting here. The Fire Red/Leaf Green and Black and White Pokedex explicitly state,in game, that Spoink dies when it stops bouncing. The text for all your kids to read literally uses the word die. 4Kids dubs could learn a thing or two from that stuff.
However with a barely passable moveset, with only one reliable move, bad eyesight and a hostile environment to live in this pocket monster has a lower chance at survival in the Pokémon world than my grandpa would in a match of Fortnite. Why poor Spoink is so hated by the designers I do not know, it must lead some horrible life. I would totally offer to partner up with one and train it up to a happier life, but if it’s even half aware of its own mortality I am afraid I would be tossing pearls before the swine. Which.. in this case..might actually help anyway.

That will do for now it’s time for us Pinkies to continue working on the website in the back as well as set up today’s online roleplaying session. What do you think about this cruel bit of Nintendo and Pokemon Company lore? Who would come up with this? Leave a like or a comment!
This is Pinkie closing off and please remember I am not weird just very pink!
Until we read again!