Granny Pinkie doesn’t understand the internet

Hello Island Guests! In just under two months I will turn 21 for the 14th time in a row! I do not feel like a person who just passed the double threes in legitimate age definition. However there is one thing that makes me old.. and that is a part of the current geek but also world culture… and that is memes. Then there is also this lingo and these  commonly accepted things and humor that go over my head. I often find myself wondering.. why is that supposed to be funny? Where is the craft in that? So today we sit in a rocking chair, wiggle our cane and wonder if my Island should not be a retirement home already! Today I look at things prominent in geek culture that I do not understand.

What the Heck is G-Fuel

Back in my day gamers would keep themselves up with a Red Bull or quite a bit more popular Monster Energy Drink. A company I worked for twice hosted gaming events in the country with Monster as one of our main Sponsors. I wasn’t a huge fan of the energy drink hype back then but I also feel it was a much more silent thing.  It was more like “Pinkie is AFK getting a drink” and people would be like.. Monster.. and then you could go “Monster!”  and they would ask what colour. Then all of the sudden there was G-Fuel and it was everywhere.  Yet nowhere?! I see people constantly talking about G-Fuel which I would assume stands for Gamer Fuel?  I am so not sure?!  Why are people going this crazy over it?  I see people shout G-Fuel .. in their name on twitter or Discord or whatever but why would you do that?! Why would you want to walk in clothes of that?! Okay I see people walk with Redbull shirts or Monster shirts as well.. but when it’s Redbull it is mostly due to the formula 1 fandom and not the energy drink itself. Monster has pretty much died out since the ban on young people came.

So G-Fuel turns out to be a powder.. I thought it was an energy drink but it isn’t? Is it like a protein drink or is it caffeinated powder so people can sell it to kids?! Do we need to be that jubilant for people finding a loophole to sell us what medical people think.. might not be very good for you?  I mean I get why it’s nice to have something you could no longer have.. but I just don’t get the fandom around a drink. I like my drinks carbonated and I like the feeling of drinking from a can . I like a glass as well but with powder mix  I usually get dust everywhere, I never get the consistency right due to how different all glasses are and why would I go for a drink I need to make instead of one that is ready to pour?!  I only liked Nestle Quick when mom made it for me!  Are they THAT delicious?! If so why isn’t it available then?! I never found it in any store?! I do not get the appeal! Then again I never liked any energy drinks except for the classic Ginseng Monster one.. and only when I was really hungover because I liked how my throat got prickly?! Please let me know the appeal! Or what it actually is.. or what the G  stands for. If it stands for G-Fuel maybe I should make A-Juice.

Okay never mind I am sold!

I Stan and Simp  makes my ears or eyes bleed

I Stan the Anime Man, I stan Laura Bailey.. it sounds so ugly! What is so bad that the word love isn’t  valid anymore?   I mean sure I get that it is a different form of love and it sure is faster to say than Idolize but it sounds so ugly.  I stan Irina .. I could barely type that without chunks of G-fuelless vomit coming up my throat. Why do we need to butcher the english language like this?!  Just because it is “hype” to get an entry on Urban Dictionary?!   I get that language evolves over time but 95% of these words die out within the year they are invented.  How do I keep track of what is active lingo and what is not?! There are a few YouTubers I actually do NOT understand without looking at Urban Dictionary regularly. It doesn’t mean I disapprove of all the words. Pog is something I still find very ugly but I get the need for that to be a word. Chats on discord go fast so POG instead of nice play my man.. is a lot faster.. but love and stan isn’t different in length nor in pronunciation. Why is it fun to use fashion words if you know they will die out soon, it will only make you look uncool after the word has died out. I could still say I love Foovay instead of saying that I stan her and no one would think I am weird.. but if I Stan Ospreyshire  in like three months people think like.. wow nobody uses that word anymore it is so uncool. So why make yourself sound like your vocally handicapped for those few months.

Another one of those words that I hate is Simp. While I do not mind the “intended’ meaning of the word.. because it is so popular that meaning the “threshold’ ‘ for what it takes for someone to be a simp has been lowered that now it has no meaning and is just an annoying word. A simp should be someone who follows someone in an uncomfortable way to the one being followed.   …Well at least this post is nice for training my abs. Someone who desperately follows a person in the false hope of establishing contact. Yet now you are already a “simp’  for following or commenting on a girls blog or twitter. That would make Raist and Indigo huge simp’s of mine and I do not think they are. I would simp Irina and Summer.  So even IF you even use a memy word  people use it so much it loses all its meaning.  Take “Okay Boomer”  for instance. That was trendy a few months ago.  Now you are a Boomer for being old enough to “know this was a meme”  how old do these people think they are?! Did the G-fuel disable their long term memory, so they can’t even remember what happened last month?! I really don’t get the language rules of this day and age!

Everything is a Meme

Why is James May putting cheese on a table ,and the rest of the video being cut out, a meme?! Why is it funny.. it’s just a man saying Cheese. Why is Micheal Fassbender looking for the real something funny?  Usually it is just three pictures. Ricardo was a meme as well .. this buff guy with a six pack.. why is showing his picture in certain situations funny?!  I mean I do edit some pictures and put in some other elements to make it “funny” but usually a story goes along.. without context those would not be funny.. and neither are 90% of the memes. Not to me at least. I am super happy people can enjoy it but I often wonder if there is something broken inside me that I do not find that funny.  One of the cringiest meme formats I almost never like is that anime guy with his butterfly and then the subtitle IS this?…. I sometimes see something clever in that format but usually it is just someone putting in a quote and making the guy say the opposite. There is no content and it almost always feels unearned. 

I do like meme characters in general. I enjoyed Bowsette being a thing , I enjoyed Ugandan Knuckles and I liked Ultra Instinct Shaggy but that is because they break the status quo we see a character do something they are not supposed to do. Oftenly blown out of proportion in fairly extreme ways. It is a fandom for something coming alive. That is why I also really love Devil Artemis YouTube Channel.. I like that level of randomness.. but on the other hand we have the Dio joke.. Which can be nice when well times.. but in the world of memes that joke is being made every second so in the end it is just another guy who put Dio’s head one someone else.. or blames Dio for Covid or whatever. That would be the same as me posting a picture of a ringing telephone and then placing the “run forest run” scene.  A flyer for some kind of Marathon .. and then placing run Forest run.. or whatever situation you might want to run from. The guy who did it  first is clever but those who repeat it don’t do anything special. There are so many situations that apply that it’s not clever. Most memes follow that format..  I do sometimes like simpler memes like that as well but you need to cater them to a niche because then it hits hard. When you try to gain as big of an audience as you can.. your meme will be super generic and I think it is the humor that requires the least amount of effort. 

Tommy Wiseau being Thanos Snapped saying Bye Mark I find funny for example, well at least I found it funny when it first came out. Then  there is the Drake stuff. Then there is the completely random stuff. I saw a meme recently that was “Why are there so many demigods?”  Followed by an image of Zeus be Like.. and showed him in a few poses. To show he is feeling awkward.I get what is trying to be  said but I don’t really get why it’s funny.
You could call it observational humor but a big pet peeve of mine is judging one’s actions through the changed perception of time or forcing our perspective upon everyone. Not everything needs to be judged by our current standards. These kinds of jokes have already been made by Monty Python as well as well. I just do not think we have to put EVERYTHING into that mold of memes! To me at least it goes stale real fast and you can really tell who forced something to be a meme.  The creatures that I said I liked earlier, like Bowsette, Ultra Instinct Shaggy and Ugandan Knuckles.. more or less originated naturally.Then there is the LOSS meme..  which can be funny when someone experiences actual loss.. but why is it fun  to see it in mario shells?! Forced!

Every Opinion is a Fact 

Finally, why has the internet collectively forgotten the definition of an opinion. I can say I ship Cocona and Yayaka from Flip Flappers. Or Mimi and Joe from Digimon. If I do it on WordPress I might even get an interesting article on it but if I do it anywhere else I probably will get some toxicity from it. I would get explained in facts why it is not the writer’s intention to set them up, there is only so many minutes of interaction during the show, the colour palette shows the political nature of the author and from that I could have realised it would never happen if I wasn’t a total idiot who gave the fan base a bad name. When I was a kid in the schoolyard and I said I liked the Pink Power Ranger other Power Ranger fans would tell me their pick is the best ranger and would listen to why I like Kimberly. Nowadays when I say stuff like that people say I should pick Billy as my favourite ranger because David Yost was gay and he was bullied on the set but stayed so long, or Tommy because he can face Goldar on an equal level and thus is the stronger ranger. 

I never said I thought the Pink Ranger was the strongest, nor that I respected her most.. I just said I liked her. Favouritism and love are an irrational thing as they stem from an opinion. Just because I love you all doesn’t mean there is not a blogger out there that thinks that the people at IGN or Kotaku are the real bloggers! I am sure the bloggers at IGN get paid more and that Kotaku bloggers have a wider reach,  but that doesn’t mean they have found factual proof I should love you less?! So why do they do it?! What is the fun of talking trash about others’ opinions?! Why does one need to validate oneself by trashing another. If I think Goku can beat Superman in my headcanon that is what happens. I could release math on it, but a battle is not just numbers.  Fictional characters have this flexibility to give us a story we want. If we apply logic the villains would always win as they always start off stronger than a hero. Frodo would not win in a fight against Sauron.. yet  he did end up winning. Fantasies are our own and like movies they do not always need a rigid logic. There have been times where I wanted to make a top 5.. but I looked at other peoples opinion as well to be more correct! That’s pretty insane! Yet I am pretty sure others have done this as well. Which is kind of insane! Even if I like the things people hate, that doesn’t make me wrong! I can’t be wrong because I can’t be right either! And yes that does mean you can’t be right either!  No one can! It’s amazing! But when I am online that doesn’t appear to be the case.

It seems the younger people are the more factual their opinions are. The more inclined you are to play Fortnite with peers or your age, the more inclined you are to be one of those people. Yet being part of a fandom also helps. The console wars going on are quite annoying to me. “The xbox series S is so inferior to PlayStation’s budget model..for 100 bucks more you get a more powerful device” FACT!.. Well yes… but that’s the whole point. Microsoft was like, well some console gamers do not care about the amazing graphics, if that was the main selling point they would most likely be pc gamers. So why not save you a ton of cash instead of just 100 bucks.. by building a lite version.I think that is smarter than the no disk version that only allows you to buy games at PlayStation store prices.  I am not wrong..but the guy saying I do not buy physical anyway..probably is right as well. I honestly prefer my switch above both those next gen consoles. I can safely say that to my friends.. but when I say it on twitter I am dumb for preferring a device that has less power than a PS4… Well I do not care, I acknowledge you care and good on you.. but we all have different definitions. In fact when I say something is good, not only are the points I base that on NON factual.. even the terminology is subjective. For someone good might mean enjoyable for others, it has not a lot of faults and for others it would have at least an average of 7/10  when  tested on 5 different testing points. Yet on the internet.. The only opinion that is right is that of the biggest influencers that talk about that topic. I do not get that.