Pinkie’s Geeky Solutions 1: Japanese Gadgets to Date Japanese Girls!

Welcome again my dear island guests. Pinkie’s Paradise does not only have the sweetest coconuts, most delicious cocktails and best staff you get in a resort! We also really like our gadgets. Well at least me the manager does! The Japanese culture is something a lot of us people here love and strange gadgets are a part of that “Japanese” Lifestyle! Since I love randomness so much I decided to create a series in which I solve every day trouble.. with odd Japanese gadgets. Since last week I talked about my inability to flirt.. I decided this week to start off with gadgets to help me….and you guys.. date a Japanese girl.

This post will feature some YouTube Video’s so reading this post on my actual website is advised

Getting Ready for Your Date

All these gadgets came from the same website! Japan Trend Store! The first step towards a successful date comes with preparation of course. You want to look nice for your date. If you are a bit like me though.. you HATE ironing! It is so awful. I go out of my way to avoid having to iron and for the measly price of €206 euros or $243 respectively I can look pristine without having to iron again! All I need is a Laundry Dryer and Wrinkle Remover. Just place an airbag over the steaming device, put your blouse or pants on the air bag and bam! Within “minutes” you have a dry outfit.. and if you look at how it bloats around the bag a lot more body confidence as well. 

A blouse or a gentleman’s shirt will only take about 30 minutes to dry and it can even blow dry denim jeans within 100 minutes! If you have a dryer though you can even use cold air and do it even faster. And look how amazingly fun it looks! It’s like you have a bloated friend over! I would definitely build a head for it! Imagine your mother coming over and she sees  two legs sticking up from behind your couch! This can be used for dating AND pranking! If you use cold air, you get a perfectly huggable buddy if the date doesn’t go well either.. and based on the comments I got on my flirting post we all should very much consider that option.

Now we are all geeks here so I would assume like me, the prospect of dating terrifies you all and causes immense stress. Stress that can manifest physically!  When I get stressed I turn into a wooden board or even a brick!  Muscles cramp together and I look like one of tangled up marionettes. Not very attractive to my date to say the least. I know Japanese people are a bit more tense.. but that does mean I won’t be able to get a relaxing massage after! So I should massage myself before and I have found the perfect one! A quadruped chicken! It’s name is Rilacocco! You can relax those tensed up muscles by letting it waddle on your skin!

Setting you back €96 euros or $114 dollars this is not a cheap massager, or from the looks of it a particularly good one!  Maybe if they are really finely built but I doubt this counts as a deep tissue massage. It looks Kawaii as heck though so you can even bring it to your date and show it off! With stickers you can customise it’s looks! What kind of eyes do you want it to have? It is yours to choose! You can even have a great conversation on why you customize Rilacocco the way you did! She is a Japanese girl after all.. I mean these things might not work AS well on a Western Girl.. or in actual real life… but for fictional Japanese girls.. it’s perfect!  You can compare your massagers! She might even have a Rilapiyo the Duck variant, which is cheaper and comes in pink and instead of wiggling it beams heat into you… okay.. I gotta steal my date’s massager now!

Now one thing you need to do before you go on a date is the Sniff test! You know! Sniff your armpits and see if it’s passable! Yet what if you are scent blind to your own smells?!  That could easily ruin a date!  You could ask a friend but we are all geeks so chances are we got those in short supply!  Let alone that they would like to smell our armpits and are available on the day of a date! Plus they are our friends! Those who’d do that for us would probably have been our friends for years so maybe they are also scent-blind.

Luckily one again there is a gadget that now can tell us how stinky we objectively are! Introducing the Konica Minolta Kunkun Body Odor Checker. A device that analyses your scent and rates your body scent on a scale from 0 to 100%. Now I am not sure if 0% means that you are 0% clean and you stink like that villian from Dragon Ball  or 0% noticeable so that could be awkward but we can experiment. Like I wash and sterilize and then measure it and if it’s closer to 0% I wash and sterilize till we reach that or if it’s closer to 100% we wash and sterilize till we reach the big score!

I am not sure if it detects perfume so best not perfume before I use it!  Then during our date check a few times and if needed visit the bathroom to clean my pits! So this device seems kinda pointless at first when you think that a normal human would regularly shower and clean their pits and stuff.. but apparently in Japan , body scent shaming is a very big thing!
Nothing kills romance harder than your date calling you Nioi or Stinkui. Well her being a psychopath murderer maybe.. but I would be kinda into that to be honest. Her calling me Stinkui.. instead of Pinkui would crush my soul! This gadget comes with a price tag of €487 or $576 dollars which is a rather soul crushing price to find out if you stink or not..and I still prefer the sniff test.. but this is objective! Maybe she carries one with her herself and if the reads are too high she will dump you and leave you with the bill of that cute Izakaya you visited. The thing sends data to your smartphone from which you can read stinkiness so you can also hide this device in the bathroom and use the app to make a documented list of who takes the stinkiest number 2. Or if you hate baths you can say! Mom! I don’t wanna take a bath. I am only at 12% stinkiness!. This device is worth its weight in deodorant.

Going on the actual first date!

So now you might be wondering! Pinkie .. did you make her a Japanese girl just so she can counter every argument not to buy these silly gadgets.. to which I say… mostly yes! But it is also so I could promote a very special gadget. You see the Japanese people have many skills. Most of them involve writing amazing 2d characters or deciding who in the world is gay and what not trough the art of Yaoi and Yuri art. They are also very good with using dead fish in creative ways, like making it go across little conveyor belts in the most colourful forms! Also making it very delicious! Yet they aren’t very good at speaking english! Luckily they are good at making gadgets so they made a device that seems like something out of Star Trek. The Startalk Voice Translator Hatsune Miku! A Translator that can translate 53 voices using an interface of 9 languages. So English is properly required to operate the device.. but it can help you understand your date.

What is even better is that the device is equipped with the voice of the adorable vocaloid. So if your Japanese Date whispers sweet nothings in your ear as the date progresses Miku will electronically repeat them understandably! So if you ever wanted to hear Miku say.. I think you are very handsome/pretty, this is your best chance! Plus your date can hear your compliments in the voice of Miku too! If you ever  have seen a concert of her in Japan we know Japanese folks LOVE her! So if she on a subconscious level ties you to the idol you are golden!  Even if your date doesn’t go well you can always talk to Miku.. she will just repeat after you but you can make her speak another language so you can just pretend it is something else!  Let just hope Miku never tells you your date thinks you are stinky, but since this gadget will run you about €382 or $452 you might have to cut down on a certain scent detector.

Now if you are like me you will be pretty nervous during your date. Miku might translate things with a bit of a stutter! However, nerves means sweating!  Even though  we can detect our scents to wash all the grime away.. and new sweat doesn’t stink.. only old sweat does.. you still can see stains on your coloured clothes. I like wearing brighter colours so sweat stains kind of stand out! For a date I would also usually wear something fancy.. which usually means it’s a lot hotter. I will never wear a short sleeve to a date so I either have to wear a vest or a long sleeve dress. Make up will also make me hotter hopefully also in the figurative sense.. but also in the literal sense.. so bodyheat is  a thing that quickly goes out of control! Most Japanese cooling gadgets do not look very sexy!  I will discuss more of them in a future post but today I will discuss something you can wear under a dinner jacket or a nice pretty vest. It’s the Surei Water Cooling Vest Lite! 

This vest can move water around it’s lining with temperatures as cold as -10 degrees celsius. Which is like 14 degrees Fahrenheit! Which means I definitely won’t sweat. It might even make you shiver with cold so she is forced to give you a warming hug! It won’t help because -10 is being created underneath the hug but hey you gotta take your victories. Also since it is so cold you can’t really put it on your skin as that won’t end well.. but this is invented for people that want to wear a jacket.. but don’t want the heat the jacket provides. That kinda seems like a bit of an jackass thing to wear a jacket just for the looks but wanting to negate the heat and it definitely will come to haunt you in the ass if it is a date that ends in the bedroom.. because.. a cooling pack is not sexy.. but for date number will keep your pits clean! Plus and this is a big one.. it can be worn inside a Hazmat suit.. let’s face it it is 2020 after all. For just $376 euro’s  or €318 if a blonde man doesn’t destroy your currency value you can have this sweet vest. With icy temperatures us girls can even use it to perk up a little! 

Securing a future!

Now one successful date is not enough to get a Japanese girlfriend! I think at least.. There are bars where us Gaijn can go to pick up ladies looking for some western meals but let’s be honest we all want love and not lust right?! *Pm me for the bar name I can help you out if you don’t*  So.. how do we make our date our girlfriend. Well I was born in the 80’s. Back then and in the early 90’s the way to secure a date is to give her a romantic mixtape!
However providing her with a YouTube playlist isn’t exactly the same. Since we want to go retro all the way and you want her to have some cute song quality.. why go for a mixtape when we can upgrade it to Vinyl! Presenting the Gakken Otona no Kagaku Toy Record Maker! A toy that allows you to make an actual record for your lady love using recordings you have on your smartphone! This means you can just put your favourite love songs on there.. but you can also sing a song yourself and put it on a record! So if you always wanted to be printed on Vinyl while not having a girlfriend I guess you can do that as well you narcissist meany! For just €168 euros or $198 dollars you can blow the mix tape people out of the water and give your love a record album of your love!

It also melted my date!

Skipping ahead a few months you are now in a relationship but of course your visa has expired so you had to go home for three months. Things are still good as she still has that record with your voice on it! Everytime she listens to Hatsune Miku she thinks of you too! So everytime she listens to either she calls you up on Zoom! How sweet! But also really annoying because that is the time you would go out drinking with your friends..or play a western game. Yet you can not blow your girlfriend off! You need a ruse to talk to her for a bit.. then go do your thing without doing the I love you more thing.. No I love you more! Yuck!  So you just say your internet is very bad and you buy the Loading Circle  Online Meeting Escape Machine! It costs $75 which is just €63  and while chatting with her you freeze up and pop the button on this machine then pause your camera.. and she will be none the wiser.  You can then send her a text on discord or whatsapp saying my phone just crashed.. I am going to bed. I am sorry Uwu! I wuv you!  Then you go out with your friends, have fun and your relationship will not suffer for it either!

The final gadget can be for yourself if you are a girl or for her if you happen to be a guy! It is the Ravijour Love Tester Bra. Three months have passed and you can move back into Japan..and it is time t o wrinkle the sheets.  Yet being a geek we are all devoid of the knowledge of opening bras. Nothing is as unsexy as you wanting to get things on and you are yanking on a bra of your significant other trying to get it off. Most of us will lack experience in that department.. so instead of letting her undo it herself.. you gift her this electronically locked Bra that is controlled with an app! She can undo it herself with the app but if you can get her heartrate up enough within a certain interval for a little while.. the app will make the bra pop off itself. The sad thing is though.. as for right now this thing isn’t really for sale! It was a promotional thing in 2014 aimed at offering protection to intoxicated women who could easily be sweet-talked into doing something they don’t want!  Yet for us geeks it could also be a sexy toy that lets us avoid our kryptonite so I say bring this back!

Don’t worry! I have no Japanese girlfriend yet.. I first need to gather upwards of 1757 euro to go on a date in Japan and that is excluding the ticket, and of course the actual date. So you got time! Until then I hope I made dating a bit easier for you people! Now you can find your Japanese Angel! If you want to find these gadgets for yourself go to Japan Trend Shop! I am not sponsored but I love this website and will make more of these posts in the future! So maybe one day.. they sponsor me.. and I could actually GO on that tech date! Of course you can help as well by supporting my Kofi!

My Pokéstuff Wishlist

Happy weekend my little monsters! Today is saturday again, which means we can talk just about anything. Since I try to highlight just about everything about the franchise, this time we we will take a look at some delicious goodies. Stuff I’d yell ‘Shut up and take my money’ about if I had any.  However with my bank account being lower than a Sunkerns base stat total for now I can only dream. I do however feel it would be nice to share that dream with you all. Given that I do not have affiliate partners to link to, all these goodies will be shared without purchase links. If you want to purchase these yourself, google picture search these or ask me for a link in the comments.

Pokemon Posters

Vaporwave Porygron Poster

Recently I’ve had some major struggles with my mental health, my house was decorated in a way to reflect the person people wanted me to be. Neutral cool colours, somewhat generic arts and the likes. However that is not me, I want my house to be colourful, bubbly and full of pokémon. A good and easy way to bring more pokémon into my life is through the use of posters.  Like the Vaporwave Porygon poster I shared above, it looks absolutely stunning, it features my favorite colour and honours the age I am from. I can see a lot of myself in this poster, like being the oddball that kinda lives in a world of her own. It’s quirk it’s retro and a total eyecatcher! I WANT IT! Pokémon posters have some of the coolest designs you see in posters out there. Where many anime or game posters tend to be either cover art, screengrabs or the likes,  many of the pokémon poster push those boundaries and speak, either by playing with colour or some other form of creativity, a great deal of them just step it up a nodge. The steel/metal poster shared below for example. It just pops to me, their outline being so much more defined than the actual pokémon, reflects how we all know them, and the neonesque outline really reflects the power that’s inside. A great piece to liven up any room!

Ash’s Pokémon Metal Poster

An Alolan Vulpix Plush
I am a big plush addict, I love them so much, all my seven unicorn pluches have names I address them by when I speak to them. Most my plushies are fair prizes, cause I am pretty good at crane games and if you know what and when you do it, you can get nice stuff for little money.  The only plushies I actually spend big money on is, well you guessed it Pokémon Plushies. Right now I own about 7 of them, sleeping bulbasaur and sylveon as official tomy pluches, as well as pichu , chibi jolteon and everyone’s favorite mascotte Pikachu. I also own two bootleg pikachu’s because I loved how awkward they looked.  Mimkiyu and Alolan Vulpix would be next on my wishlist, but since I own so many bootleg pikachu’s already, the official one would make my cabinet look very dull. Alolan Vulpix would definitely spice up the cabinet.

My favorite alola form, by far

Just look at how adorable it is, i’d squee every time i’d see it because alolan vulpix is just too precious. It’s variants all look quite nice and I have yet to see a really bad bootleg of it.  Costing your from around €12,- Euro’s on websales it isn’t remarkably expensive to get either. The tomy version would , on european conventions cost you around €25, euros though. I still prefer to buy something like these at conventions in general just to get a scope of all angles and how the material feels, but at these prices I will start considering buying them online.  This little baby also has two variants which I really like, my absolute favorite one being the vulpix in the great ball.

I think we need to boop it’s snoot!

It makes for a great presentation piece, those big eyes just peering into your soul, with a hint of melancholy just makes you want to care for it.. and squee. Hey if i’d put it in the cabinet near my bed, the neighbours at least hear some squees of joins from that area, they might even start to think I am normal. The final one is ‘holiday’ AV, all i can really say is

It’s kind of like little red riding hood, with fur… and fur!

Pokémon Master Trainer: The Board Game
Let’s step away from the ornamental and huggables for a bit. It’s time to address the most expensive and rare item on my wishlist.
Pokémon Masters is a classic board game where four trainers travel all across Kanto in order to capture the strongest team of pokémon and face the elite four. First one to become the champ , wins the game. The game features all the original 150 pokémon in a wonderfully broken and backstabby journey, that is a lot more fun for us grownups then it was when we were kids. If you ever felt Mario Party was a friendship wrecker you have never played Master Trainer. Stealing each others Pokémon or helping you lose against the elite four has never been more fun. If you like messing with your friends over a perfectly balanced and streamlined game like me, this game can be a world of fun. Unfortunately the original, set in Kanto sells for some ridiculous prices online from in between €80  and €350 for a complete set in at least passable qualities. There are version of Jotho (and Hoehn as well I believe) that are much cheaper, however they have been streamlined in terms of RNG and game breaking items, but where is the fun in that. Though truthfully if I ever see one of those cheaply I would probably still pick them up.

One of the most evil board games i ever played…and I love it.

The Jigglypuff LED Light

I am OD-ing on cuteness right now!

As I can’t go to long with wishing for something pink it is time we brought up this little guy.
I have only recently figured out about it’s existence encountering it at dutch animecon in Rotterdam in the middle of June. However a quick price search resulted in me finding out it was fairly overpriced. Marketed there for about € 35 or even 40 euros, it was about €14 to €20 euros more expensive than you’d need to pay for it. So I had to let it slip my grasp. It’s a fairly common item and it’s not that hard to see why. It’s friggin cute, sure the eyes look a bit painted on but it’s a lamp,you won’t notice it that much when it’s on. Even if you do… who can say no to that face! The little puffball.. ‘yes you are a good little light! Yes you are!’ Sorry I can really get carried away fangirling over items like these. Off all the items on my list this will most likely be the first to purchase , after all when it’s out there nice and glowy I am sure it will give ,anyone who adopts this little fellow, a good night’s sleep.

Can’t you just here it play the Jigglypuff song?

The Pikachu alarm clock
Having made a nice bridge we have come to the last item of this post, given that I still have a folder filled with items,  somewhere in the future there will be a follow up.
When Jigglypuff sends us asleep we need someone to jolt us awake. That task of course comes down to Pikachu. This item flew onto my radar when I encountered it at a discount store, available to me for only seven euro it raised my suspicions, Unfortunately those proved correct having one ear of the Pikachu missing. I could not look by that fault and my crafting level is too low to mend such things creatively. Having only a tiny display is good for me, because I am a panic peeker, when I can’t sleep I stare at the clock and worry about all the sleep I am losing, a lot. A clock like this will help me to relax a little bit more.
The imagery of a pokémon sleeping is nice and Pikachu can emit a night dim little nightlight if you so chose. The clock comes in bulbasaur and squirtle variations as well, but those tend to be quite a bit more expensive. Pikachu ‘clock’s in’ (heh i made a pun)  at €25,- while the starter bros are closer to €40 euros , squirtle costing just a few bucks more than the best starter. Just don’t toss the pokéball in your dreams, you’ll be late.

Pikachu used Rest!

Next time we will look at some more amazing plushies and some figurines, maybe even a mug or two! Though most people claim that pokemon do not exist, we can still fill our houses with them, and stuff about them. That makes them real enough already for me.
Let me know what Pokémon item you really want to get.
Gotta Wish some more… until then stay pink!