Geeky Dreams Explain: Pinkie’s Weirdest Bizarre Vacation

Hello Island Guests! In this blog we are going to do something special! We are going to analyse one of my most vivid and geeky little dreams I have had in awhile. I still remember the story very well. So I thought it would be a good and funny tale to tell. It turns out…it might have had deeper issues than I thought. I have had this dream twice now with only minor variants.. like in the second run I was aware I had this dream before so I could alter some of the events.. but only to minor effect.  For all intents and purposes I shall tell you the story of the first variation of the dream.

My dream begins in the Southern of France, there is some sort of Formula 1 like race going on.. but the cars are also racing Sonic the Hedgehog and a few other video game like characters. This being a great bridge between Dad and me we decide to go watch.. but we still need to buy tickets and no one has money for it. Yet then Fred and George Weasley show up on their brooms saying they have a plan! We could rob the local beer Factory and sell beer for the races cheaper than on the circuit itself.. it would be a gold mine. So I go along with them and we steal a pallet of beer! I nearly fall but Fred and George save me! We bring the pallet to dad who managed to get a sales license but he betrays me.. he only got permits for himself Fred and George as he does not want me talking through the race. Fred and George give me a few beers but really want to see the match so they agree with Dad. I try to get in anyway but dad puts the blame for stealing the beer solely on me and reports me to the authorities so I have to flee.

The dream skips ahead a few days and I am in a different hotel a really weird one. I made some new friends there, some based on my real life friends ..well one.. and the others are new friends.  I help out in a hotel to stay there but now I got some free time and I am able to swim with my friends! But the pool is made entirely out of milk!  People do not seem to mind and bring up the name of the hotel is Cleopatra resort. One of the other pool guests is a Wailmer pokémon and for some reason Widget the alien is sunbathing there. All the other guests are like minor geeky things or elements of my life. The weirdest thing is like a stick of Butter who once tosses us our beach ball, me and my friends play with when in the pool of milk.  Suddenly a wall explodes and there is Deadpool! Who has been hired to kill me for stealing the beer!  (Thanks dad) , he murders everyone in the pool first and I try to hide under a bed.  He comes after me and says I can not escape. I get fed up with him and tell him I will haunt him from the afterlife.. so he says he will hunt me there as well. He stabs me in the heart and then cuts off his own head. I try to escape but the wound kills me as I fall and sink in the milk.

I then wake up in a indoor pool.. the walls are very bland. there is but one big pool with a huge diving board. My friends are there… but all as 6 or 7 year old school girls. I notice I am a six year old or so as well. I notice there is one extra girl who peels of her face.. to reveal Deadpools mask behind it.. but Shoujopool realises she doesn’t have swords. So she points  at the diving board way up high and tells we should hold a diving competition instead. The loser will go to hell and the winner can return to earth. So that is what we do. We realise there is no judge so we decide to let my friends score.. and give a score ourselves.  Deadpool goes first and I talk my friends into giving him bad scores. 1/10 from all.. but that friend who was a real friend who gives him a 9/10 ..saying  he now she loves Deadpool laughing loud at the silly jump. I climb up but my motor skills really make me slow.. I finally get there as I think I already disappointed my friends… This pool is filled with water…but to make the water appear I have to drop a peanut into the pool. Which luckily I had on me and a fountain shaped like an M&M begins spraying water.. he was in a dream before and he was a chocolate fountain then.. each time I need a liquid I need to toss a peanut at him this is a recurring thing ever since I was 16. 

More on  that later though… I jump into the pool.. but flop real sloppily so I think my one friend will give me a bad grade.. but he doesn’t ……because Deadpool ripped the heads of all my friends and build himself a tipi (native american tent)  of their bodies and a hat of their heads. He tells me I scored zero and I lost. I tell him he cheats and he should give my friends back.. so using some of those cocktail sticks he puts their heads back which revives the girliest girl among them somehow.. but not the rest. He says whoops! Then the girly girl tells me to fight him and Gonna Fly now  begins playing and as we both yell Ding Ding.. We punch each other in the face.. the Screen pans out slightly and we become dwan animations on parchment..slowly zooming out while Subtitles roll to reveal we are actually a trading card. After the subtitles are over that trading card is at the Milk pool..I pick it up.. look around and realise everyone is still dead. I swear.. and that is the moment I wake up.

So now I will use a book of interpreting dreams I once got to identify elements of my dream and come up with an analysis! I haven’t done this before but I felt like it might be a funny post so here we go! The father stuff is fairly obvious.. he is increasingly ignoring me from his life so the way he acts in this dream makes perfect sense. A vacation appearing in a dream according to my little encyclopedia stands for desiring a change of pace or wanting to renew my energies. I have been dealing with a very pesky fatigue as of late so I assume it is the later. A racetrack means can mean I feel my life is going in circles according to this book.. given that a vacation is a thing theme as well.. those two might meet.. since we did take a vacation TO a racetrack. Combined with my father I begin to see a connection. Fred and George I did not think had a deeper meaning. Looking it up though Wizards in dreams mean there are hidden forces at work.. so I guess they could represent Dad’s girlfriend who is manipulating him against us.. but never openly does so. Stealing should mean I feel misunderstood and that I feel like I lack emotional support and appreciation.. that in context makes a lot of sense. Beer apparently is an indicator for hiding behind a mask, now showing my true face and that is a big issue for me.. especially around my family, mostly dad. I fake a lot so I don’t get into conflict but I feel sad that my true self can not be appreciated by him.

The scene that my life is being saved by Fred and George apparently means my head thinks I should let go of a unhealthy bond which makes an awful lot of sense in this part of the dream. The betrayal of my father at the end neatly wraps it up as Betrayal means the dreamer is doubting between the bond between the betrayer and themselves. So yes.. my relationship with my father is indeed not a very good one.. the time I had this dream was just after he had successfully had a malignant tumor removed. Before when he was sick he reached out to us and as soon as the operation was done and he was going to live .. he began shutting us out again. I saw this coming from before and even spoke this out to the rest of the family that it would really hurt me.. they said that would not happen but it did.  Nowadays Dad just criticizes us wherever he can so if I need to drive back home with him (as I can not drive myself)  I feel super uncomfy and just talk to keep him from condemning me. Each time we meet he promises things will go better and every time we are shoved out further. So this first act.. makes a lot of sense! Except for Sonic!


The trait that stands out most in the second act of my dream is milk.  Milk stands for the desire to have a better relationship with your friends or family…which makes this dream quite scarily consistent. Imagining friends who aren’t real  stands for having elements of myself that I really suppress.. or at least according to this book. In real life I have indeed been pretending al lot to have a semblance of fitting in. Seeing friends of old signifies a desire to go back to a simpler time and seeing friends die shows i am worried about my friendships continuing to exist. Each time I had these dreams a friend the friend of old in question I dreamed about really distanced himself further from the group. The first time he blamed us for not going anywhere in our lives and how that marooned his ambition and job comes before friends. Second time he was really negative about all the people I care about in our group and wished for a return to the super male energy of before my coming and of my bestie. 

A pool with water I can not see through.. and I assume milk counts as that, shows that I might be emotionally confused which again was true for the time at the dreams. I wish to continue this friendship..with the male energy person and at times he is a great friend. Yet the fickleness at which I can be tossed out when I am not convenient at the moment hurts. I am not sure I can live with that. I am worth more than be a friend when convenient. Butter , also has a meaning, it represents happiness. I think it stands for how I cope with that relation. Some of our other friends are very focussed on how he acts now at them. Hate him for his unreliabilty, he’s hurting us an selfish. I do not want to lose him so I focus on all the good memories. Widget the Alien.. might mean someone pushes me to my limits or beyond. I am not sure he counts but well I bet we can explain that. If we consider Wailmer the whale pokemon to represent a whale it means something is currently overtaxing me or pressing heavily on me …which again makes scarily much sense to me. 

It gets worse when Deadpool shows up. See my book does not mention a fourth wall breaking super hero as a possible analogy thing.. but a masked figure I am scared off like I was in the dream .. is  actually in my dream book thing again. Apparently a Scary Mask means that I feel …. And I wish I was joking… A lack of harmony in my family or friends. When I started this I genuinely thought this might be tons of fun.. but I am kinda weirded out by how consistently accurate these elements are in my dream. I am not fully sure if I believe in dream analogy but this is a pretty big coincidence at the very least. You can easily say.. but deadpool’s mask is not scary..and I’d say sure.. but I was terribly afraid for him in the dream so it counts! I  also think it is safe to kill Deadpool a killer. When you see a killer murder others the dream book explains it means for emotional sadness another has caused in me.

This can both reflect on my dad again as well as that friend who moved away because he chose ambition over friendship. Ever since he left a few members of our group gave up.. he was the host and now even if I try to host some others just don’t come ..because they rather would go to the other guy.. I am not good enough. Being murdered myself by a killer ties in with that quite well as it shows my brain  feels like people are working against me together.  While I do not feel they actually conspire against me.. I do feel that the negative actions of one.. trigger negative actions in the other yet another stays at home because that second guy is not coming and no one wants to break this cycle. So yeah I have to say.. the second chapter of my analogy also makes a lot of sense. It’s more intangible than the first but these are worries in my head at the time of dreaming. I am not lonely but I can feel myself slipping.

Now onto the final part of this dream. Luckily the implications of this part are a bit more positive! I think they actually represent my blogging life because these dreams occured on the time I felt quite empowered by my blog!  The being reborn part stands for getting a second chance to obtain something I thought was unobtainable, to deal with stuff I want to deal with but could not before or it can represent that I am ready to move on with my life. I am getting close to accept how things are and move on from the pain and start a new phase in my life.  Since I see myself as a younger person now I am more inclined to believe it represents that second part! Because seeing yourself as a young person represents the desire to make up for mistakes I made in the past. Or seize opportunities I did not before. 


When my clique was very tightly knit I never had any reason to make new friends.. I loved this group of friends and having these people was more than enough for me. At conventions I rather would hang out with them as new geeks because they were all I needed. They went out to socialise with others a lot though and now I do regret not doing that as much . I was content with what I had but I wished I could have reached out to others and now I can. Seeing a group of kids ..which in this case are my imaginary friends.. which we already discussed were reflections of sides of myself I could not show.. means the merging of several aspects of my personality… In other  words I suppressed a lot of my persona.. and blogging brings this out more and more and I accept more and more those traits of my personality around you guys! I also show it more in real life! If people are slipping anyway, I might as well make friends by being the truest me!

The Clear Swimming pool, stands for a much healthier emotional life. Since my tonal shift on the blog around May.. which was around the first time I had this dream means, I have been much more honest about my emotions. I accepted myself a lot more and the implications being myself had and even if something sad happens like a person not liking me I was more okay with it because at least it was real. The diving board stems from a temptation and the empty swimming pool I saw for an emotional emptiness. Around April and recently..when things were at a low I was very tempted to harm myself…in the permanent way. By jumping from a great height even…a temptation I had a hard time to fight off. There were times that I felt so alone.. and unheard I was empty.. much like the hall this dream was set in. My health sometimes makes me feel like a time-bomb. I want people to have a positive memory of me. When everything is slipping..sometimes the thought occurs that I should exit stage left now! While I still have some some semblance of control The competition however stands for a will to fight..  so I fight that temptation. No matter how often the thoughts are in my head.. I know I have people who love me still. For them I fight! For them I live! So that temptation..will only just be that. A easy to resist temptation that sometimes nibbles in my mind. But let’s not dwell on that.. this part is about positivity!

The Peanut.. believe it or not also represents something.. it apparently signifies gaining popularity on a personal level. The M&M I am going to interpret as a piece of candy because brands are not considered.. candy represents social Pleasures and an increase in friendships and love. I have actually made friends by blogging.. by being more personal with and more me recently I have gained a bit of popularity as well. I know some people still just like a post without reading it and I know who.. but I have gained this “pack” as of sorts.. a group of people I regularly interact with and it has made me so happy. and at ease with myself.. Again showing a full  clear swimming pool.. much more healthy on an emotional level. It’s like as if my mind says! Don’t worry girl you got more people behind you then you think!

The decapitation allegedly stands for me not wanting to think on certain elements and everyone who read my anniversary special knows that this is indeed a worry. I have a demon on my shoulder telling me people actually hate me. I want to starve that demon, not think about those doubts! The boxing shows I have an inner conflict. Like I mentioned I have that little demon on my shoulder that tells me you all hate me.. so you are a source of pain.. yet also a source of happiness and stability. Boxing also represents throwing up to much barriers for myself.. like what I did before!  People can like me well enough without always having to respond to me.. by making them react to me.. I place a barrier on my happiness while just sending them a message or getting a like or a smile can be enough. The Card I pick up at the end allegedly shows I want some form of attention .. which is true of course. I would not be blogging otherwise. The fact that I appear at the world of the living  again means I won from Deadpool and victory stands for successfully overcoming attacks  from rivals or obstacles. I can beat that inner demon and I can have that attention! I need to accept myself for it and accept some relationships do not work! Not everyone has to be a bestie as either. Support and positive energy can come in all sort of quantities and from all sort of places. I just need to be willing to accept it. I should not be scared to lose bonds over time.. I should be happy and excited to form new ones.

And on that high note I will end today’s post!  It was much more interesting to analyse this dream as I thought.. such a silly dream had a lot of elements that really seemed applicable to me and I actually feel a lot more sane now!  Even though my dream was weird.. I think in the end it was mostly about very normal desires that have been a bit fritzy lately! I know I talk about this subject a lot but before I started translating I did not know this was going to be what it is about. Have you ever analysed your own dreams?  Let me know! And for everyone reading truly thank you! You are the reason I do not swim in milk anymore! You gave me a peanut and a card. You give me a reason to decapitate people in my dreams..because in such an awesome community I have better things to think about than my woes and worries!


I Dislike that I Like Likes

Gooooooood whatever daytime you are reading this my precious island guests. It is time for another mental health, mindset post thingy where I make a fast from my rocking chair and blame the internet! This time we will look at the negative effects of the Like-Culture.

<Disclaimer: I use Blogger’s names in this post to make it concrete, the actions I tie to them do not in actuality have to link to them, though in some cases I did indeed have similar thoughts but I use this format to get a point across what would mean less with blank names. A fear is made much more real when it seems more concrete> 

Nightmare on Like Street

Recently I have written the blog that has gotten the most genuine likes, as well as enter a period where I get a lot less likes in general. I guess that means I suck now?! I don’t think I have changed that much?! I just picked some topics that are closer to my heart!? So that means that is stuff you don’t care for?! So by proxy you do not care about me?! Or worse.. maybe you took the fact that I had little energy to actively visit your blog and be my old bubbly supportive self as me not caring about you and I have been blacklisted and now I can never make friends.

Rini-Senpai likes a lot less of my posts so I guess she must have been dissapointed in me. Megan from a Geeky Gal used to frequently drop a like and now she never does and even Fred from Au Natural has left less likes in the past couple of days. Did I piss them all off. Did they drop me?! Am I THAT bad? I’ve seem them like posts that clearly have less effort put into them.. so that means they hate me?! I might not have used likes enough! I might not have browsed around the block enough spreading enough likes! Perhaps I forgot to click on like because I was reading a phone and upset someone for not liking a really good post?! I am so sorry!

Like Induced Hallucinations

The preceding paragraph is not actually what I think… however at the same thoughts it all crossed my mind briefly. It is not a thought I want to have or that I actively chase.. but the mind races. The reason is that a like is a very poor instrument of measurement, yet because of the importance of being liked.. in our core as a human being something that really is hard to go without. Irina and Megan I take on as examples.. so them not LIKING me in essence would mean me failing my teachers. Fred is so kind and supportive.. so him not liking must mean I really screw things up. Why?

We related the virtual “like” to actual liking.. and they are two whole different kinds of things in actuality.  Being liked is important… yet getting likes is not. Yet it can be incredibly hard to separate the two because my brain.. processes.. a like as being liked…  how can we distinguish these things?  How can we put these into context?  I feel like this is a thing I struggle with.. and that there might be others that do it as well so here is a peek into my process. So let’s take a look at what I think is the hardest part about being a somewhat sociable blogger.

Never Assume, Ignorance is Bliss

The most important thing to do is not to think for other people. If Megan doesn’t like my post that doesn’t mean she dislikes it. Maybe she just never read it, maybe she did and got actually engaged in a piece of text and forgot to click the like button. Maybe she was on her phone with the app, in which liking can be more impractical and could not be stuffed going trough that whole thing. There are so much more reasons a person can not like your post other than disliking your post.

For example I see a trend that Rini is much less active in the weekends , which can mean she is doing stuff besides blogging than.. or she doesn’t care for the specific content I bring out near the weekend. While I can assume either of these to be true.. for all that I know she gets captured by aliens who block phone signals or her boyfriend forces her not to look at her phone all the time. 

I am not Irina, nor Megan or Scott or Lyn or anyone who interacts with this blog. Why they like.. how and if they read is all simply a guess or assumption, these hold ZERO factual values so any thought of negativity derived from it is based on assumptions. None of the bloggers I worry about that they stopped liking me have ever Boo’ed me in the comments. It is easy to let a mind fill in a blank with a negative perception of it. I think most here would agree. Yet idea of other people hating you, or not liking you as much as you want stems not from them but from you. In a way you create fake versions of the people you want to get response from that drain away your energy. You are making your own dementors at that point.

Don’t over-rationalise, Ignorance is Bliss

Rationalizing however is a double edge sword. Because of how easy it is for us to monitor stats. For example I know fairly well what my normal view to like ratios are (around 50 to 75%). My Star Trek post for example only got 10 likes which is well below my average, but it also got way less views. While my anime review got pretty much my normal rate of likes but way more views and the ratio is off.

This ALSO doesn’t mean anything. A person could come back to a long post to read it in bits, inflating your views while making your post have a less favorable like/views ratio. I can even more or less tell who is watching me (except if you are from America) based on times and nations. I can more or less see when Irina visits my blog and doesn’t like. I can see when someone likes a post without reading.

This means we end up with a weird situation where we can not think about likes from an emotional stance nor a logical stance because both hold no real value. We aren’t aware of each others thoughts nor are we capable of constantly minding all the factors in play. I read some amazing posts and clicked of without leaving a like.. simply because I had the same sensation I felt when reading a good book. My mind completely with the post and not the social aspect. Sometimes I read a post and I had a craving for a snack or google more info about a post. Wandering off without leaving a like. Sometimes I read a post in a few steps.. messing up someones ratio.. but that’s the way I enjoy reading it. Humans are not a hivemind, we are not in sync.. and for those who accidentally put to much worth into likes, we create a no win scenario, due to the sheer access to data.

Do not think a like is about affection

We need to find a way for likes to mean less to us, but that is hard. Simply because of the word chosen is a key need of basically anyone. Much akin to love, like is a term of affection and that is something we all want or desire. Especially since my take on this in part is to find people to interact with and find community like becomes something greater than it is supposed to be.  A dissociation. The online like is a much more sterile concept that is much less meaningful than someone actually telling you “I like that”. That is something we can probably all acknowledge, yet because the computer tells me “Scott likes this” opposed to “Scott Pressed the like Button” its much more difficult for my brain to interpret this correctly.

Let’s get to the elephant in the room here! I know I am not my content, it’s easy to brush worries away under that standard and to some extend that does work……..IF we keep our distance to our work. It’s just a blog, a bunch of text some ramblings. Yet here it is detrimental that we are hobbyists.
We do generally do not post because we need to. We do it because we want to. The stuff we write means something to us, if only for the joy of creating it. Especially when we write something that matters to us. It sucks if an insightful piece gets less likes than a Top 5. It stings when a blogger who just posted some fan art that is not even his or hers while you made a deep essay gets more up votes from mutual followers. It can feel like a betrayal.. but why is that?


The reason is not the others that fail to press a button but the value we have given to this word. Trough YouTube we are constantly reminded about the importance of likes, your tweets have to be hearted. Your Instagram is based on likes! And Arceus forbid if you still use Facebook the social pressure of likes there! We gave become so dependent on them, that they are like a drug. We need them as our high.. our validation and when starved of them we will feel like utter trash. That is because we have been brainwashed by social media to think it’s as important as actual likes.. Thusly we connect it to affection while we should not. Yet how can we not when each video we like nowadays asks for likes and everywhere we look this stuff becomes important. For us at least this is not helped by the absence of a dislike button. Because we can’t see dislike as the opposite to a like, not liking becomes the de facto opposite.

To prove this point, try imagining going to a random blogger you follow but do not particularly care about and tell them “I do not like you” how many of you think that is  neutral? I bet it is not a lot of you. Our brains are wired in that way..so  when my brain picks up.. oh Mallow did not like this post.. that voice in your head  makes that very same dialogue tangible. We were raised with fairy tale mannerisms in mind but our rule-set changed. We can’t all simply adapt and let go of what we knew. This causes a hyper importance on like because it has become a popular commodity one one hand and the lack off  likes is interpreted as the opposite.  In doing so it becomes a resource I absolutely hate..but one I can’t help but covet.

Highscores and perception shifts

In a way we have turned our own life into classic arcade video games. If you don’t have a highscore you do not matter… or at least that is the lie we tell ourselves. Which is kinda ironic.. we care so much for our highscore in real life.. in the form of getting praise and backpads.. but in video games we hardly ever care for the thing. Yet a like is as insignificant as video game high score when it comes down to it.. it’s a digital display on how well you did. Without it being detrimental or beneficial to the actual content.  It simply a very poorly chosen term that seems logical and makes sense but puts enormous social pressure on you once you start to see patterns.
So perhaps by embracing this analogy we can defuse it into just that… that high score.. sure it is neat to put your name on the board but it doesn’t take away from our actual joy of playing the game.

Another way to achieve some inner piece can be achieved to “rebranding” what the word of the virtual Like means to us. Instead of seeing the button as a token of affection thrown your way.. perhaps we can view it as having similarities.. being ALIKE. A simple press of the button wouldn’t be a digital stamp of approval that you need to collect a lot of.. it is a tool to measure if people can vibe with your brain. You can like my Star Trek post.. simply because you enjoy the show and remember it, or because you saw that first episode and had a mindset similar to mine when watching it.. or you can mentally put yourself in my place there.. at that moment we can understand each other and are alike. 

There is something fundamentally less painful about being misunderstood than about not being likable. In being yourself and people not being like you, you can attach positive words. I am unique, I am myself I am a pioneer. Heck in the core being creative is about doing something unique.. it would defuse the pressure of the “like” while keeping the general mindset of it intact. People resonating with it.  That same type of positivity is much harder to apply when it comes down to not getting affection. No one smiles and says “I am an einzelgänger” with pride. No one is really happy to say “I do not need other people”. So let’s make that shift! Find a way to make the like more harmless!

Do Not Dislike Not Liking

Now just to make this clear, this is not a rant for people not liking things. Because I totally get that, as I tried to make clear throughout the post. While I feel terrible for not liking a post, that again is self imposed social pressure. The larger your blog grows the lesser the chance is you will be there for everyone. The smaller your blog is the more you feel bad about not getting likes, the bigger your blog is the more bad you feel about not giving them. They are both part of the same problem. While monetized blogs or YouTube channels could get indications for if content works or not.. that as hobby bloggers should not be our concern it should be about the joy of content creation…which for the most I do.. just this is a boon waved in your eyes that is friggin hard to ignore.

So just beware that not getting as much likes as you want will always sting, yet they are so meaningless that if you use them as your guide in your blogging journey you WILL get lost.  A like is a high-score and the system on how to get them is glitched. At times you will get some for no reason at all, at other times even though you picked up that score item.. it didn’t add up. It happens to the best of games. We should see it more as people resonating with your thoughts .. as opposed to affection for the blogger, which while making perfect logical sense is easily is confused by the brain. At least I think in full sentences and speech and that sometimes my pink heart go owie!  The like is a complex little drug, that offers you much safer highs but much more lasting lows. Beware of the like! Let’s make a case for the ALIKE…..also please leave a like!