Tag: Funny

The Bachelorette VTuber Edition: Inugami Korone

Hear Ye Hear Ye Princess Pinkie is here with her first Vtuber post!

Salutations loyal subjects and sweet Island Guests. Today we open a new category of blog topic, something I have become very endeared to! VTubers.  So I came up with a plan to review VTubers.. but that is tricky!  Some I enjoy more in clip format, while others I watch streams after the fact that they have streamed and yet others I do enjoy interacting with… so how can I review them all in a fair and funny way?!  By bringing back an old format I could not keep up with back then!  I may have staff, I may have knights.. but I do not have a real waifu! Well Sayaka is my waifu..but well ..that’s a real person to me.. how about Verson/VTuber/Vblogger me?! She needs a Waifu as well… So let’s look at how weddable these lovely VTubers are while telling you something about you! Today we start with the first VTuber I became aware of! Inugami Korone.

<Disclaimer>
This post will feature many clip and videos! Which sometimes do not show up in WordPress reader, so the ideal way to read these posts is on the actual Paradise Website
<End of Disclaimer>

Who is Korone

Pin on V-Tubers!

To be fair, the first VTuber I was aware of wasn’t really Korone, it was Kizuna AI,  but back then it was not really called Vtuber! When she actually began doing sponsored mobile games a lot, I kind of fell off the AI-chan bandwagon! I missed the good old days where she played games like Limbo… Korone is the one that brought me back into the world.. and really hooked me to it!  When I saw AI I had a dream to be like this one day .. but she was too technologically advanced to ever live up too. Korone.. was a more reachable goal and while I am far from getting there as well..mostly due to money issues.. she became a big inspiration.

inugami korone and nekomata okayu (hololive) drawn by hanekoto | Danbooru

Inugami Korone is a japanese VTuber , she is a dog who works in a bakery, with her first name Korone being derived from the word Coronet and Inugami meaning “Dog God ”. She  is part of the most well known VTuber group, HoloLive. She joined the group in 2019 and after a series of announcements, sneak peaks and teases she had her debut on April 14th.  While it took Korone a while to find her style, she nowadays is best known… to me at least, for playing mostly retro games. Which was a big appeal to me!  Her on screen persona is oftenly highly energetic and erratic. Korone has shown to be very emotional during many streams which vary from.. hyper-enthusiasm.. too  crying so hard she had to end/pause a stream. She also often gets “mad” at her chat! Which has led to numerous memes! Because she tells she would punch chat in the face if she could and she made it possible for her to do so even.

Inugami Korone - Hololive Fan Wiki

Her fanbase is called Koronesuki, which is depicted as a bald man, drawn in photoshop paint. The avatar of chat is known as Listener-Kun. Often Korone’s dog mascot is seen on top of Listener-Kun.. but Korone has several versions of Listener kun.. including one with his face being punched in.. by  Korone’s first.  Her name is being used as a pun for donations, which she only picked up on after streaming for two years!  Many clip moments of Korone revolve around her interaction with chat,

The upsites on dating Korone

I am a dog person

Vtubers almost exclusively are demi humans, we have ducks, reapers, pirates, demons, alpaca’s nymphs.. and Korone is a dog!  She is 92 years old in dog years..or at least her avatar is and I get along with dogs really really well!  I have this tranquil energy or something that makes dogs always vibe with me. My sister’s former toy poodle for example was such a restless spirit.. but around me it totally calmed down and would just take naps in my lap! Even when I just met it.. it just wanted to lay down close to me.. and that’s a reaction I often have with dogs!  I think having a Waifu that wants to lay down next to me is a pretty good trait to have a solid relationship!

We have similar styles

Inugami Korone - Hololive Fan Wiki

So Korone manifests as quite the sugary little thing!  Despite being a finger collecting, fan punching maniac!  I do like them crazy, especially with some sugar on top! Korone totally fits that brief!  She might just be Yandere enough.. and I do like them cute with rough edges. I have evil tendencies as well at times so.. we’d be a good fit!  Her original song Wonderful World is basically how I would produce a song if I had the vocal cords, the money , and the musicality to do it!  The only thing I can really do is write the song and come up with the concept.. but it would be something very very similar to this. I love how she mixes retro gaming tunes with a powerful idol girl song!  Most of it is about cutting of fingers and Korone herself as well, using all the memes and iconic things about her!  I think that is great… brand yourself.. I try to do that too!  You don’t need to do the thing everyone likes… just be you and she is totally doing that in this song, so we match in style as well. If I look at the direction it basically and the images used in this clip it is basically how I do my Sunshine Blogger posts!  So.. yeah once again we quite match!

We can play Retro Games together.

Jump, Korone! by Poppysicle on Newgrounds
Art By
PoppySicle_Art

In VTuber terms, even though I am 21….NO!  I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!  BUT I AM NOT!! 34!!!  I AM 21! Let’s try that again, so even though I am 21 I am considered a boomer in the Vtubing community!  I really love retro games the most!  I find a lot of modern day.. (Triple A)   games are generic. Why does a game have to have 2000 genres.. why do I have to humiliate other people? There are plenty of Indie games I still like, but mostly because they emulate the experience of the past!  Luckily Korone agrees with me!  I really hate games like Fortnite, Roblox or Apex so if I had a Vtuber wife who would just play those kinds of games, we would be such a poor match. But original Mario, Metal Slug or Spider Man 2000?! I am a game!  I could even protect Korone from some creepy worm-like enemies which she seems to be very afraid of! If she can save  me from wasps, or the B enemies in Donkey Kong Country 1 and 2 we’d be a great retro gaming pair!

We both bond with our game companions

pea on Twitter: "#できたてころね I love korone ; u ; i watched a translated older stream with oyayubi-kun and i cried 私の日本語が下手ですごめんなさい 私はアメリカ人です コロネも大好き!… https://t.co/UuvFZA5W5X"
Art by
Japanese name I can’t read

The best clip to show the beauty of Korone’s soul.. and how amazing her community is.. comes from a time when she played Monster Rancher 2, she did her voice a bit differently from what she does now as the video is over a year old… but this made me cry so hard. I legit cried for an hour or so.. because I shared the pain that Korone experiences in this video!  I play an occasional Nuzlocke and such, yet most of the time when my favourite pokémon dies, I can’t bring myself to play anymore.  I will be honest, I do not bond with every Pokémon .. but if I get a nickname just right.. and it develops in the right way and our bond is legit…. I am devastated when they die.  I’ve heard Jaiden goes through something similar, I know a pokétuber called MandJTv  says he goes through something similar.. but never did I experience their pain.. like when I saw Korone play this game. It shows me that she can bond with something virtual.. which is kinda important considering that my princess self is virtual as well! So now I know we can have a real connection

The Downsides on Dating Korone

She WILL punch me for backseat gaming

DOOG punch - 9GAG
Art by
Kukic_Nyan

Imagine Korone and I are having a date!  We are playing a retro game together and things are going well!  I am sitting on her couch and it’s her turn! I want to support her and cheer her on! I accidentally get caught up in the hype of seeing my doggo girlfriend/date play the game and cheer for her….with some directions here and there!  Well Korone doesn’t really like that very much!  I do agree that backseat gaming is annoying..but her chat has driven her to a point that she will now inflict violence upon those who tell her stuff about the game!  I like my face… well at least my virtual face! I would rather not have my face punched.. That looks quite painful!
There are plenty of memes out there of Korone murdering people in Minecraft as well, she even has said the Iconic words Falcon Punch! And if you ever played Smash Bros, you know how painful it is to be hit by one of those!

She is a cat person

Okakoro - 9GAG
Artist Unknown

VTubers flirt with each other a lot, so it is no surprise that Korone does something like this as well , the object of her affection is called Okayu, a cat girl VTuber, whom I may or may not review in the future of this series, right now she is not in my field of interest. I will be honest I am NOT a cat person, at all. I would not go as far as to say I HATE cats, but I just can’t bond with them at all. Even in Pokémon I pretty much never end up using cat pokémon.. even if Skitty is pink!    Either way Korone is VERY affectionate about Okayu , the two hang out in real life and Korone throws tamper tantrums when she thinks Okayu is about to leave for home because she doesn’t want her to leave! She wants to be kissed by her and she totally adores the girl.. it’s shown in pretty much every stream they share!

While I do not believe in traditional monogamy, the reason to engage in a relationship for me is to experience being so important to someone while having that person be so important to you as well. In a way that feels great to be a fan of something… but mutual I guess.  If I know she places  Okayu above me.. that reason to make her my Waifu would kinda vanish! I’d like to be the number one of her affection.. and I am not sure if I’d ever get that, and even if I do I would hear cat stories all day long and I do not like hearing cat stories!  I love it if you show you got a cat and introduce them to me through cute photos.. but I mean those stories like “Oh my cat wants pats… oh my cat is grumpy ” .. they are the same every day!  So stop it Korone! 

She wants my fingers

Like I said before Korone is a bit of a psychopath,  she loves taking peoples fingers. The origins of this quirk is odd, she started collecting fingers because she needed an original opening. Among HoloLive Gamers she was the only one who did not have her own little intro and she asked chat if it was okay if she asked chat to give them their fingers. Chat replied Yubi Yubi, and so Korone assumed it was okay!  Nowadays it is a commonly known meme!   And while we can easily dismiss it as just that.. There have been several sessions of gaming where Korone seems super delighted to collect a finger or more!  Not just once.. she seems delighted every time!  Now she can cut off my legs if she wants.. I am not using those a lot … but my fingers I very much need to game. She seems to take index fingers mostly and that is my most used finger, it’s my typing finger!  Or fingers. I hardly ever type with other fingers!  So I would lose the ability to blog and would become much worse in gaming… and over all I would really not want that!  I just am afraid that if she tries to put a ring on my finger.. it won’t be attached to my body!

We are gonna have language problems

Holo Live Korone Gifts & Merchandise | Redbubble

Like many Japanese Vtubers Korone doesn’t exactly speak english and I don’t speak Japanese.  Maybe if I tried very hard… VERY hard, I could be as good in Japanese as she is in English… but before you scold me, I already speak Dutch, local dialect, english and german and I can’t help myself a tiny bit in french and spanish! Not that it will help me talk to Korone of course.  The difference between Korone and most english Vtubers is that Korone is easily one of the most memed ones for her bad understanding of english! She has english only streams as a sort of gag. She says some pretty strange things! For example, she claims to be Mercedes Benz!  She is also Volkswagon!  I am not into cars!  I can’t even drive one!. If she takes a shower in the morning and our pipes are clogged.. I’d have to probably understand something along the lines of.  Water..in shower..inversion!  Peepay no hole! Okay?  She is very bad with adjectives.. and I use a lot of those!  Since I am not looking for that much of a physical relation with a Waifu.. I do think communication is a big thing! In fairness I think it would be pretty cute if we tried though.. kind of like that time she tried to defuse a bomb with a shinigami!

How eligible is Korone?

inugami korone (hololive) drawn by momoshiki_tsubaki | Danbooru
Art by Momoshiki_Tsubaki

Do we have a future together? Probably not! Okayu is too much of a factor for me to overcome! The two make a great couple and I do not like to rip-up couples! Separations DO happen though in the HoloLive canon, so who knows maybe in the future! I am not even fully a model yet! So there is hope! She hasn’t ever threatened to take Okayu’s fingers as far as I am aware so if she can leave my limbs alone we’d be good!  In fact, since we are talking about a bride for my virtual self.. I think my unicorn magic would allow me to regenerate lost limbs anyway.. and she can have my pinky…ironically!  In the end I think we would be a cute couple to look at BUT it might be a bit of a superficial mariage! I’d pretend to understand what she likes about Eating Mike Tyson’s ass… but deep down I can’t understand.. I just can’t explain that to her..so we will pretend everything is alright! WoooWoooWooo! In the end I give Korone a wedding score off 7 yubi’s and a fingernail out of 10.

Do you know about Korone?! What is your favourite Vtuber?! Are there any Vtubers you’d like me to review in this series? Let me know! I am looking forward to do more of these! I have a lot of fun plans! So let’s talk about Vtubers in the comments.. or let’s talk about something else in the next post! Untill then! Stay random! *Quack*

It’s Transformation Time: The brand new “You Are Magical, Girl!” Blog-Tag-Award-Thingy!

Salutations, guests and loyal subjects! The time has come, I have regained a lot of my former strength so I want to interact with you a lot more!   Since I haven’t fully been able to regain my strength , I decided to reach out through a new blog tag! One I created in my head a few times. One that is easy enough and one that reflects what is happening on my blog very well now! It is time for the You Are Magical, Girl! Blog-Tag-Award-Thingy! I even made a logo!

The Rules

1.  A Magical Girl is always polite!  So be polite! Display the Magical Girl Tag Logo, thank the one who tagged you and if you want tag creator to thank you for participating, tag Pinkie’s original post as well!  That last one is optional though!
2. A good magical girl gets the job done! Answer all the prompts! But do it like yourself! Come up with your own ideas, or compare it with other anime or video games! Anything goes! Just get the job done!
3. A good Magical girl always makes friends! Tag at least 2 people!  More is optional!
There is no 4! That would be bad luck!
5. A Magical girl is not defined by gender! Feel free to tag anyone!

The Questions

A Magical Creature descended from the skies! It is telling you , you are a magical girl!  Describe this magical messenger! What is it.. where is it from?!

My magical girl story begins at my home, my real home here in the Netherlands!  It is late at night when I hear a tapping on my window.. out there is a little coconut! Much like the ones I have as my Kofi supports.. but this one has a monocle and a little bowtie as well as a tuft of hair groomed neatly in  a two parted wave. He also carries a little cane.. he looks very posh!  He says his name is Butternut and calls me Hime.. he has an important mission for me! As well as a very comfy job!

Your creature tells you about an evil force from afar! What is this evil force?! What is their goal?!
hicham-habchi-1.jpg
Art by Hicham Habchi


Butternut tells me that he is stewart of the island of Paradise an island that is on the border of fiction and reality!  I am it’s intended ruler, but two evil fations seek to use the island to destroy the balance between reality and between imagination!  Yes that’s right! I will go above and beyond and make two evil forces!  One from the land of reality and one from the world of imagination. From the world of reality it is some military force.. probably an american sub division called “Deep Dive” .. they want to use Paradise to gain enough resources to police the world keep the island out of the hand of people who would use it for worse..yet at the same time.. they will use it to keep America dominant on the world stage. Enemies of Deep Dive would take “class” archetypes.. such as a Sniper, A Commando and a John Wick like Assassin among other things. 

Krampus: Jack in the Box by thewebsurfer97 on DeviantArt
Art by thewebsurfer97

On the side of imagination there would be an organisation called “The Fallen” This organisation is made from villains of imagination that have already been defeated. Enemies of old tv shows, manga or other things.. that have since lost their face and became monsters they called “Ideas” creatures that have lost their essence but still remain as concepts and blue prints for future generations. “Ideas” will mimic classic villains in some ways or another but have more monstrous shapes. Think of a Jack in the Box monster  that represents “The Joker” or  a “Crocodile” made out of sand and Golden teeth, that has the power to dehydrate. The Jack in the Box along with a Changeling in the colours white and purple would probably be two of the elites! With lesser known villains working as monsters. Their goal is to spread fear in reality so they are remembered to take shape once again.. if they do.. they can breach into existence.

The creature then tells you , you hold a great virtue, it is the reason you have been selected! What is this reason!
My first and easiest foe!

As a VTuber/VBlogger I already  walk the line between fantasy and because of my content , where I blend reality and fantasy quite often I become  heir to the throne of Paradise. Yet there is  more.. “Ideas” have a corrupting effect on everything that is sort of like them,, while Deep Dive manipulates people to be normal citizens. The chosen ones that Butternut selects are truly unique! They do not strive to belong! I do not strive to belong or to adhere to a simple concept. This is my strength and the source of my power! This item Butternut presents to me next is said to reflect that power, and push it through new heights. Yet suddenly a huge storm blows open my windows and the item flies to the room as a Tornado with spiky white hair.. red eyes and huge eyebrows show up!  Some dolls float around in the storm as well.

After the exposition , a monster shows up at your doorstep! It is time to transform! What is your transformation item?!

Well this one is not that hard to guess! As I crawl through my room and under my bed, I find a royal scepter.  One that feels classical, yet also immediately shouts magical girl!  At first I have trouble actually lifting the item because one of these royal scepters is quite heavy!  It is also quite garish!.. With gold and red and some heavy jewels. As I get flailed around through the room by wind Butternut tells me that this is not a real item.. I need to cross from reality into imagination and grab the imaginary one. I reach again and pick up a rod  that has some rainbow fur and can talk through a duck beak! As I pick it up suddenly some snow begins to fall!

Transformation scene time! How do you look as a magical girl?! What is your power and signature attack?!

I pick up the staff and since it’s the first time this transformation scene happens I do not utter my code phrase yet..  the transformation scene has me set against a sky of pink clouds while a bunch of moths made of pink light eat my old clothing.. yet I do not look naked.. the moths made of light form the new shape of a much more regal outfit , lengthy.. then  a snowflake falls on the light and the dress takes shape!  It’s a princess gown filled with hearts!  The moths form a crown.. and a snowflake falls on that.. as the crown becomes a real object as well.. they form my twintails and they become tufts of rainbow fur twintails.   A horn is formed next in the same way.. and as I yell Quack.. duck feathers sprout out some places as an adorable duck purse appears on my hip! Of course also in pink!

My own transformation scene! Yay!

From this purse I can pull out several attacks, as well as items that are too large to fit in there. Elementally my powers reflect that of ice and light.  Usually depicted as sparkly powders that trap my foes as I bonk them on the head with the heavy princess rod!   My way of fighting is less direct than that of most magical girls. I blind with powder snow, I freeze to the ground and then I bonk!  I am not that physically strong.  My finishing attack is summoning a giant snowflake from the sky that I charge with rainbow energy, then I throw it like an energy disk at the enemy! It’s called the Special Snowflake Special! 

My Finisher attack, the Special Snowflake!
Catchphrase time! Name some of those lines you repeat in every episode.. and tell us when you use them!  This can be a transformation phrase.. or just something cool you keep repeating!


My transformation catchphrase is a portmanteau  of Transformation and Imagination!   It is just me shouting “Transgimagination with later phases of transformation keep using the latter word but adding a deeper phase of imagination in it .. like Imagilucination or maybe even Hallucinarium. Who knows how long I can keep my series going!  It might just get really trippy!  Other catchphrases I keep using “Friendship is Magic” and I will have this  anime girl speech thing where I use the word Royal a lot. “This  monster is gonna be a Royal pain in the but”. “If this attack goes through we are Royally Fudged”  stuff like that.  I sometimes try to do this with princesses or queens as well but it rarely works out.

Sometimes Royalty based puns do not work out for this magical girl

My hero catchphrase is Villains repent!  We can do this the easy way or the nice way.. I prefer the nice way”.  .. which isn’t very catchy but it does sum up what I am about! I will try to redeem enemies. Transformed I will be a bit of an Ojou-Sama and display arrogance so this is my way of saying.. I can beat  you easily..let’s talk it out  instead! Neat huh!

Get the 'I Am Amazing' song - Judi Cranston
Ojou Sama Arrogance will be a part of the character
Are you a solo magical girl?! Do you work in a team?! Are you the first recruit or a supportive one?!
Chibi Pinkie will join the fight later!

I will be alone for a fair amount of episodes!  There is the coconut and me facing some enemies and the lore of enemies and my transformation will be explained thoroughly before I get allies! But they would come!   Their transformations would take the form of other royal court members that wield staff, such as the Royal Advisor.. who also wears a staff, the Jester  and perhaps a knight whose rod is an actual club!  Later on in a second season we could even get a support magical girl.. kind of similar to how Rise works in persona!  She would be a chef and her scepter would be a ladle! She would function as a healer who can cook up buffs with monster parts!

Every magical girl  has a goal in her normal life as well! What would your goal be?!

I would want to be a VTuber and of course manage paradise.  I’d open up Paradise as a resort where people can come face to face with their imagination!  A vacation of reality of sorts!   But that is kind of to be expected.. I do have my trustworthy staff there..but lots of monsters would be tied into the problem of paradise.  Say we run out of food on Paradise , we get a Gluttonous monster, if some guests would get into petty fights on the beach..maybe I fight with a Jellyfish.. whose Jelly stands for jealousy! So in that way we have a goal as the manager on Paradise. However I will also be trying to make it as a VTuber.. keeping my show relevant and all! This leads to some spider man like shenanigans where I sometimes try to stream while fighting monsters or soldiers!  Which can lead to some fun situations and make fights more interesting!  Offer extra challenges and really help with power scaling.  We can add an extra tension in fights that should be easy because I need to stream.. or make a fight go faster because I try extra hard to be home in time for a stream!  Sometimes I am a genius!

My Steam Dream will bloom up again! Both in reality as well as in this story!
What is the dark twist to your being a magical girl?!
My dark secret.. I can’t wear shoes!

A lot of magical girl series have a plot twist that is revealed near the end of the show! My element of despair however is revealed immediately You see every time transform and cross into imagination , I do not come back fully!  After the first episode a lock of pink hair is shown.. after the first general is defeated I will have duck feet forever!  I am becoming less human and my imagination is becoming more vivid.. I see things in the real world that are not there.. just that other people imagine being there. Thus reality and fiction begin to blend more.. I begin to fit in the real world less and less and have to spend more  and more time  on Paradise Island.. there everything is in balance and I can keep my sanity.   So as I become stronger in my magic.. I lose my humanity! So will the other magical girls! So rather than seeing us all transform all the time.. we try to balance it out.. look out for each other!  Yet we all know.. that saving the world means that eventually we become stranded on Paradise and can not see our loved ones anymore! We are really becoming our magical girl identity.

The Tags

I will be a good princess/magical girl  and help you out by reposting the questions that way you can copy and paste them more easily!

1.A Magical Creature descended from the skies! It is telling you , you are a magical girl!  Describe this magical messenger! What is it.. where is it from?!
2.Your creature tells you about an evil force from afar! What is this evil force?! What is their goal?!
3. The creature then tells you , you hold a great virtue, it is the reason you have been selected! What is this reason!
4. After the exposition , a monster shows up at your doorstep! It is time to transform! What is your transformation item?!
5.Transformation scene time! How do you look as a magical girl?! What is your power and signature attack?!
6.Catchphrase time! Name some of those lines you repeat in every episode.. and tell us when you use them!  This can be a transformation phrase.. or just something cool you keep repeating! 
7.Are you a solo magical girl?! Do you work in a team?! Are you the first recruit or a supportive one?!
8.Every magical girl  has a goal in her normal life as well! What would your goal be?!
9. What is the Dark Twist to your being a magical girl!

Now for my Magical Girls!

GeekGirlJoy: She did this amazing thing! She made a game based on my island so I repay her her with allowing her to go completely crazy and quirky with this post!

Summer Foovay: Whom is my bestie and she is already a witch so let’s see how she is as a magical girl!

Geeky Gal Meg: I tag her for all new tags so this one will not be an exception.

Senpai: Who already speculated she might be a magical girl once so I give her the chance to become one!

Lynn: I have almost always tagged him in new tags as well and he might be a sweet magical girl!

Fred: Now that is a magical girl story I really want to hear

Roki: Because than my tag will be reactivated in a few months time … just kidding Roki, I love you as a community member so I just really wanted to tag you.

Cele: Because you are kind of my Kohai in a away and I really love your visual style!

Allysa: I would love to see this tag with a more manga minded angle! Al has read so many stories, something good would have to come out of this should they take up the tag!

K: Because I think the world wants to know how K would be as a magical girl!

Annie: I think Annie might actually be a magical girl.. transforming with a teacup! And I REALLY REALLY want to find out how right I am!

If you want to do the tag but I have not nominated you please type “I invoke the powers of Kyubey” in the comments and magically .. in a few days or so your tag will appear on the list! It’s not like I did not nominated you… we just need a bit of extra power for all the nominations to appear! Now I hope you will pick up the tag and I can read some awesome magical girl stories.. but first I have to face a few strange creatures that live behind my eyelids! Because remember folks! Friendship is magic but dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

I Look Fancy! I DESTROY Karen! Overpriced Japanese Knick Knacks for Glamour and Glory!

Dear Guests, dear Subjects, todays royal decree is a challenge to the worst enemy of commerce!  The thing that managers have nightmares about! Today is a post on how to stick it up to …… Karen!  Karen for those who don’t know is a type of woman that complains about company policy in order to get financial again! This is often done in a very toxic way!  Your rules will be read through a double standard.. no matter how well you phrase them out. So finding better worded rules would not do. I would have to find a way to make her respect me…despite the rules. Thanks to briljant CEO Seto Kaiba I got an idea!

Screw the Rules: I have a $100 lip cream!

Conversations with Karen tend to be lengthy and loud. Big mouth movements are required.  So it will often be a painful experience if you go into this conversation with cracked lips!  So with the first product of JapanTrendsShop of today, we will make sure we never get a bleeding lip from yelling back at Karen. We also take our first step in shutting her up!  Just walk up to the counter or desk where she demanded you and take this lip cream out.. carefully applying it to your lips! She knows you are getting ready for an inevitable confrontation and she know it won’t be pretty… unlike your lips AND your lip Balm!

Ojamajo Doremi Pirika Pirilala Color Lip Creams

Presenting the Ojamajo Doremi Pirika Pirilala Color Lip Creams!  This product will cost you $91 or €80 and you will not get one but TWO amazingly visually impressive lip creams of about 12 centimeters per stick worth of lip moisturizing cream. The designs are based on the anime Magic Doremi and it is being marketed as Lip Cream for kids!… Despite the disclaimer saying it is for the ages of 15 and up! So… regardless it is perfect for my demographic!  People of ages 15 and up.. who are all still children at heart. The Peperuto Pollon is the pink one and it taste like strawberries due to strawberry extract. The Picotto Pollon is the red one.. and it tasted and smells like roses due to rose hip oil!  I did not even know roses had hips, but clearly they do! The more you know! 

The product is made in Japan and moisturizes your hips by a product called squalane.. which at least to me sounds very tasty!  Yet.. having perfectly balmed lips in front of Karen is only the first of two great effects! The second is that with your little magical girl wand you look super intimidating! Karen WILL think “Oh no! She just burned $100 dollar on two sticks of Lip Balm… if she has that much money to burn.. perhaps she doesn’t need my business!

The first battle is yours with this neat Knick Knack!

Screw the Rules:  I have a $1200 Pokémon Bag

Pokemon Longchamp Top Handle Bag XS

For this whole gag I am going to do we need to take a fair bit of stuff out of our bag and hand it over to Karen or wave it in her face, so we might as well include the handbag in our gag. Karen always thinks that she is the center of your universe. She is your goddess! You must respect her!  So by showing her you worship others that will hurt her case!  Obviously Karen is a fudging normie so you can’t put Madoka or Evangelion characters up and expect her to know who it is… but she probably will know Pikachu.. from that time her son wanted a pikachu cake and this apprentice patissier said they did not do Pikachu  cakes.. So by wearing an iconic character on your bag.. she knows.. she is not your god! Pikachu is!

The Pokémon Longchamp Top Handle Bag, can help you achieve this for the price of $1152 or €1031. The bag comes in three colours that all have nothing to do with Pikachu.. but that will help you combine it with your outfits rather easily! Red, Black and White! It is made by Longchamp which are a renowned french accessory maker… apparently!  It is also officially licensed Nintendo Merchandise! It is made with cool materials such as real leather and Black nickel!  It has a Zipper and a snap to put all your goodies away safely… well some of your goodies.. it’s an XS bag!  Having dimensions as small as 14x 17 by 10 centimeters. Which basically means fitting in two juice boxes. .will be a very tight fit! Paying so much money for that will definitely upset Karen though!… And the next item on our list will definitely fit!

You will definitely have Karen in the bag with this item! Though not this bag..it’s to tiny!

Screw the Rules: I have 50 Cake Toppers

By now Karen’s ego is really beginning to hurt.. and this is where you launch your true offensive, you see Karen’s goals are twofold! First of all she wants to inflate her own importance!  Because no one gives her compliments so she wants to be a queen in a store.. and secondly she loves free stuff. Decent human beings get gifts  from friends.. but Karen is not a decent human being! She is just frustration embodied in an average looking woman!  And I am being generous to Karen’s looks here!  Regardless of how hard you dominate.. Karen will not leave untill she gets a small victory..usually in the form of free stuff! So we will give her a laxative infused cupcake!  Because.. if you Karen me.. you ain’t gonna get your micro victory.. they will all be mine! So if I give you stuff.. it is to make you hurt more! Plus this ties in nicely with the next product Teehee!

For €40 or $45 you can get four  cute Mario and Luigi Cake toppers as well as an amazing warp pipe to serve them in!   I can not deduce if they can be placed in the oven.. so from the looks of them I would not…  but they probably can! They make 5cm cup cakes.. so you know Karen isn’t getting a whole lot of cupcakes!  Plus she needs to give the cake skewer and the cup back to you!  Which already is a thing Karen won’t like! These cupcake toppers are fairly overpriced and once more show Karen.. you have actual heroes! They are called Mario and Luigi and this is a super cute way to eat cupcakes when Karen is gone.. just make the cupcakes without the laxative!  JapanTrendShop really wishes to make clear that the cupcakes you see in the picture are not included in the actually officially nintendo licensed product… and I am kind of glad… though I guess a cupcake that stale could have worked as a laxative as well?!

Karen will feel pretty shitty when you confront her with these amazingly cute cake items!

Screw the Rules: I have $125 Toilet Paper

Luxury Toilet Paper Gold Gift Set

It is time to fully mute Karen, you see handing back the cupcake cup and the topper was only to keep her in your office or at the desk so you can finish her off completely!  In this final step we will destroy her pride, intimidate her father and even do some classic blame shifting. You see when she asks you if you can use the bathroom you will point her to  the staff bathroom, under supervision so she can’t steal.. she will object at first but the laxative will soon convince her otherwise. As she agrees you send an employee with her to the staff bathroom where she will find this special toilet paper set from Japan. It is a gift set.. but well you can buy this gift for yourself and to break Karen’s spirit. 

With the fire down below burning properly she will see the gold leaf gift box these 8 rolls of toilet paper come in. She can see the craftsmanship of handmade and unique wrapping around every roll , as she has to break one open!  She is about to break into a 15 dollar roll of toilet paper while a staff member outsides can hear her do it!   She opens a roll to find the amazing unique designs .. one unique for every roll out there!   Each sheat of double or triple toilet paper of a material is so soft that it feels like a baby’s skin.  She thinks it might be extra thick so inspect it.. but no.. it is 2 or 3  sheets thick just.. you can get thicker in grocery stores.. it’s not scented for luxury either.. so it’s just the rest. No hiding behind a scent Karen.. you are washing away 5 dollars worth of toilet paper just from a single shit, and still she hears her stomach growling. She is starting to feel guilty and your victory is complete!

Broken Karen emerges from the toilet.. she just stumbles outside the store!  For a manager who can afford all this without any regrets she knows she is nothing!  She knows you do not care about the rules, you have money!  She knows she is not the center of your universe.. but all this weird japanese stuff is!   She will just come into your store or resort to do what she needs without complaint.. she has learned her lesson and is Karen no more.. now she is Kara.. that’s a superhero name right? She googled it?! Perhaps you will like her better now!

Karen’s spirit really will be flushed after she sees you burn money on this!

No more beans!

Karen has been defeated.. but your blood pressure is kind of spiking! While defeating Karen this way is fun, usually dialogue with one of her kind  makes you wish you had a spiky baseball bat instead that you could just swing into your face!  You need to unwind!  An average stress ball costs you about 50 cents.. that is so cheap I don’t even need to to  a price correction.  But for about 48 times more money you get this anti stress thing that looks like a coffee grinder. It is super tiny so it can’t grind any actual beans but according to Japan it will make you relaxed and I found the commercial at the end fairly funny because I don’t get why half of that commercial is there.. or why this product needs a commercial!  Gori Gori  though!  Check out the commercial down below! 

Relaxation from Karen is only $28’s away…

I probably would get stressed from holding such a tiny thing! Might as well grind real coffee.. but I have servants for that!  Aaahhh now that’s an idea that makes me relaxed. In fact.. I might go take a princessy nap right now!  Enjoy your stay in Paradise my loyal subjects! Oyasumi!
Oh and if you want me to realise this anti Karen Plan please consider supporting me on Kofi!

It’s time! To C-C-Catch them All! Pinkie Plays: PokéDuel

Hello Little Lights!  For those who have been keeping track of my Twitter Account this might not come as a surprise!  Yet I have recently played a RomHack of my favourite franchise that I really want to talk to you about today!  What if we combine Pokémon with YuGiOh?!  I got my game on and tried this rom!  A journey began …but I felt like this game was missing something, perhaps some spirit… or maybe even the heart of the cards?!

Creature Swap

In the past I have already played Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Team Training.  Which was a Dragon Ball Rom hack of the same base game. Fire-Red.  However where in that game we do see some locations reskinned and renamed here we travel through good old Kanto. No Domino city here.. though that makes sense. YuGiOh is fairly barren of locations. As it is very much set in one city and one island and maybe the Egypt of the past.

 Yet even then in that ancient egypt there wasn’t much dueling going on. PokéDuel also only really has references up to to 5d’s and those are very minimal. Rather than being Pokémon YuGiOh this kind of feels more like Pokémon YuGiOh Abridged. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. There are 163 new creatures to collect, so for those well versed in YuGiOh lore and even those who just saw an arc or two of the first season.. there are still plenty of monsters to add to your team that you will know.

Gym Leaders have also been replaced  including their respective typing. A lot of monsters even have custom typings and every monster has somewhat altered movesets so they seem more interesting. For example Dark Magician Girl will learn psybeam, but also a lot of moves like attract, sweet kiss and barrier to mirror the role of a card she had in the series. It goes so far that this actually has a fairly large impact on the game as YuGiOh monsters tend to not have a lot of moves in the anime,, the card monsters in this game reflect that and get a lot more stat boosting, or status inducing moves.

 This game is not something you should play without a healthy dose of full heals! So gameplay wise, I actually found this rom to be a fairly interesting departure from the Pokémon formula ,and instead we go for a slower type of gameplay, with more tactical plays to be made. Neat!  So just by swapping creatures around and typing availability the game changes a lot!

Examples of gameplay changing is very noticable in Dragon Type cards. If you know a bit about YuGiOh, you’ll know Dragon cards are very common in the game, so Dragon Types.. are not always that tactical to have. Dark type is SUPER common as well , so is the normal type. So fighting types are very strong to have in this game, many of the 5d’s cards are steel type after all. Water types are really uncommon only existing in the form of Humanoid Slime and Archery Girl as well as the Legendary Fisherman and a handful of other cards.. but going from one of the most common typings to one of the least common means you will have to adjust your strategies! And that is the saving grace of this game! It offers a very interesting take on Pokémon battling and will make you a better fighter.. Unfortunately the rest of the game isn’t very good.

Dark Mirror Force

First of all this game is UGLY! I don’t want to rip on peoples pixel-art and people are still working on this game but it is made public , so I think I am allowed to have my opinion here.. and this game isn’t pretty! Overworld sprites are okay.. because famous duelists have been ripped out of those GBA store games like Resheff of Destruction or that narrative god cards game. You will recognise them  Tea, Tristan and the others quite easily! ..It does result in some problems though!  

For example Pegasus is an Elite 4 member.. but instead of his iconic look we get the Reshef of Destruction restyle.. where he called himself Sol!  Odd choice!  Dartz is a Gymleader and obviously he has no sprite so that one looks very odd!   And then there is the fact that a YuGiOh sprite is twice as tall as the trainer sprite.. so we get some odd ratios in the overworld.. as well as regular pokémon still appearing in that world.. it looks odd to find a Kabuto Fossil while the item uses the dome fossil to revive Exodia Necross. It just screams fan remake.. something that was less apparent in a few other hacks.

In battle though is where the game really looks like a digested Kuriboh. The Dark Magician sprite is FANTASTIC, so is her back sprite… but some of the duelist and some monsters look like …..crabcakes..that have been eaten by a dog.. and passed out.  Some art is really good! The starters look pretty amazing! Other art however looks like it has been drawn in paint.  Some of the monsters are absolutely non recognisable.  Like Change of Heart of Buster Blader. What am I looking at?! However I could find myself liking this if it had been done ironically!  

The problem is that there is no style which makes that paint work look uglier than an Orange shouty man.. if you had soaked him in a tub of red beets.. all pruned up and all!   Some trainer sprites are just heads. Their portraits from Starway of the Destined Duel.. while some have been made in pair style. Other times they are simplified version of the overworld sprite.  There is no style though!  Odion’s head is completely  blown up large and in your face, while the Elite 4 is custom sprite work.. The same goes for the monsters. I should be scared when I see a five headed dragon for the first time! Not laughing my ass off.  Cyber End Dragon is supposed to feel menacing. .. not like a nest full of baby birds crying for momma to feed them.

Release Restraint

Besides the ugly sprite work is how limited the game feels!  Dialogue has been replaced with YuGiOh dialogue.. but it has been done randomly! Up to a point where one guy in a Pokémon Center can mention his Pokémon while the other makes a comment about dueling on MotorCycles. There is no immersion in this world as the game is very much unfinished at least in terms of feeling. There is no cohesion, and what is said feels a bit like a retread of YuGiOh Abridged.

Take Lavender town for example, the entire ghost tower is one giant Pot of Greed joke!  Which is fun, I laughed but if  every character in the tower there makes the same joke, I would have rather seen a funny reference elsewhere. It feels as if the creators of this Romhack were to afraid we would not like their jokes so they mostly used the ones of little Kuriboh.. and that is a shame!

Because WHEN the game does it’s own thing with the franchise it does it nicely. Before entering Rock Tunnel for example you encounter a duplicate of the old man laying on the ground sprite.. with a little  girl sitting besides him.  She makes a joke that her Grandpa had a near heart attack at the announcements of Pendulum Summons!  I hate that mechanic myself so I laughed really hard.. it also combines this iconic Pokémon thing with a relevant joke in the YuGiOh  and that is where this game can shine! In lavender town you can find a man who makes a very good yugioh/ this is a rom hack joke. Where they used to burry pokemon and people… now they bury cards. \

 There is soul in that! Yet then  they add in green hair Kaiba.. as a reference to season 0 of YuGiOh, but when defeated he says, screw the rules I have green hair. I like the joke.. but  not as a line for when defeated. It would be funny if they had replaced the Saffron City guard with it. and when letting  you through he could say the line. Weevil is in Erica’s joke and he makes a joke about all women that surround him.. yet the old man outside has not been given new text.. missed opportunities. Team Rocket is just a team rocket. That would make for a great henchman joke.. with finger guns! It just lacks that sense of cohesion.

Mai replaces Surge and could have been made more interesting  by replacing “there is a switch there”  by .. what’s this you picked up a strange scent.. and the second line with, you found a scented card.  Just something, Blaine’s Quiz was still a pokemon quiz, I would have loved Yu Gi Oh questions!  It just feels like random people did random parts of the game and it has been stitched together like a patchwork quilt..  where the creators tend to thread on the safe side just a bit too much, despite their amazingly interesting battle system.

Kaiba versus Marik

In the end we end up with a game that feels a bit like a match between Kaiba and Marik. It definitely has some interesting back and forth in terms of gameplay.. but something is not feeling right!  The two personalities are too similar and the same kind of lines are repeated back and fourth without much to keep you engaged. You’d miss that sense of Grandeur that Joey or Yugi can bring to a match!  Kaiba versus Marik also seems like a match that is not meant to be.. if it was in the anime, we would probably see Joey and Yugi doing some other stuff at the same time.. time skipping trough the match with the field constantly growing bigger and crazier but we would lack the rhyme or reason!  And it’s a shame!  Because the ingredients for a great game are here!

I had some of the best pokémon battles in this game from a tactical sense and it was fun to play the game at a different pace! Yet at the same time I kept asking myself questions, why does Kuriboh evolve into Kuribabylon with a Moonstone? Why does Relinquished transform into restrict with that same item?!  I get why Neos turns into Neos Aqua Dolphin with a water stone, but why is Celtic Guardian a Grass type.. and at that why is he pretty much the only grass type in the game?!  It is a game that gets really close to getting it right.. but leaves too much work undone to feel as a proper attempt at a crossover ..for now!

Give it a try if you are a big fan of both franchises AND Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, otherwise I’d say it’s a good idea to let this one sit in it’s cocoon of evolution for a little while longer. I really enjoyed the more status and effect heavy way of battling , yet at the same time it slows the game pace down a lot, and Pokémon already has a fairly slow pace of it’s own! So it is something you would need to keep in consideration. More times than you’d want you’ll find your monsters Paralyzed , Confused and Attracted, which does fix some gameplay issues..but creates others of it’s own. In the end I think that is really what this game is. Rather than an evolution of Pokémon Games, this aims more to feel like a Spin Off…. as if we would get Yu-Gi-Oh.. but on Motorcycles..or something!

Pinkie Watches: Zombieland Saga Episode 2 – I <3 Hip Hop Saga

Hiya! Sweet Little Lights! As a VBlogger .. a Kaijuman and and a Moth.. I have developed a bit of an unhealthy sleeping pattern.. actually it’s heart medication that kind of inhibits my ability to sleep but.. now that I am a virtual presence we glam that up a bit! It means I am not having a Saturday Morning.. so my anime block has been torn to shreds. So as a true VTuber..but for Blogging I decided to make reaction videos to anime I am watching.  Not in any particular order either.. just kind in whatever order I feel like.. or at any time I feel like them. The Anime I chose to test this format with is Zombieland Saga Episode 2! I felt like something cute and silly..after those nasty thingies happened in America!

Annoying Guy..Funny Joke!

Okay so this is me reacting! To this episode! I notice that the title is  I ❤ Hip Hop Saga. I do not like Hip Hop music myself… I oftenly don’t like the rhythm and the atmosphere. A lot of female Hip-Hop singers do what I call a lot of voice stunting…in changing the pitch of a tone while keeping it going. I do not find that pleasant.. like a flickering light! I don’t know wether to go or not! It confuses me and creates a bit of unrest!  The episode starts with a lovely chaotic recap that I quite enjoy! I really do enjoy these 20 second blitz of information things! I have a good memory so a recap should be funny and this one nails that brief so yay! 

We then get reintroduced to everyone again yet the names still do not stick to me! I am in awe by the design and the character quirks that shine through.. I know two names of the girls.. one of them being the main character.. the other being the one that is still zombified. The manager tells the girls his plans again and I must confess… I find him annoying! If I was a zombie I would probably bite him..he shouts at one of the girls for not reacting to him ..congratulating them for waking up… man. He is quite a bit of a  Peepee-head. Kind of like this little kid with a Gigan-shirt I greeted recently… he just ignored me so my laserbeam put a hole in his shirt where Gigan (and kind of where his major organs)  used to be… well now he has a reason to ignore me.

The opening that wasn’t in the first episode is not what I would have expected.. big Kaiju fights and Sentai stuff.. I assume that is a joke and it won’t be in here… could this show get any more awesome? I might die if it would be THAT awesome.. I am immortal now though so probably not! The music has a bit of a Jojo opening vibe to me.. the level of surrealism has that as well. The manager is too prominent in it though! I do like that very thick paintbrush outline though. This thing is my kind of jam! I do not like the slew of text at the beginning of the intro though it gives me One Piece trauma’s.. I stopped watching that show when half of each episode was the intro and all those maps and flashbacks! A pretty solid opening all in all but I don’t think it will stick in my head very well!

The manager continues to be super annoying and by now I would shoot a laser through his head.. but I would break my laptop .. but Oh my this guy is really vexing me! I do love how he is voice acted.. but the character is becoming annoying to levels that I actually am beginning to dislike this scene. He teases the characters about being a zombie and shows how they must keep the fact that they are zombies hidden. I wonder if all those humans have Anosmia or that zombies do not smell! They look fresh enough to smell.. but then again no one really says these rotting corpses stink.. so do zombies not stink?! I like how this anime brings up important philosophical questions like this. As the manager of a tropical resort most questions I get are all the same and with such obvious answers. Like “Can I leave my towel on a Poolbed in advance” or “Did you see my son.. he was wearing a Gigan shirt?”. I just wanna watch anime here and murder this annoying character manager guy!

Ai’s Great Escape!

The scene gets a bit funnier at the 5:00 minute mark. When a girl who I know is not named Saki or Sakura.. but the one with most of her face bandaged gets in an argument with Tatsumi! That is right I just learned the name of the manager. They talk about their knowledge of Saga and Tasumi tells he loves the region and knows everything about it.. when the girl insists he tells something he freaks out and tells her she should just use Wikipedia and that isn’t Friggin Wikipedia. He just wants to make them idols!  I like how the girls can see through him.. but also how he brings in a fairly valid argument! I for sure am not very interested in factoids about the Saga region. The girls have to perform at Saga Castle the next day and now have to train!  All the girls except Sakura think there is too little time.. but Sakura knows how this man works by now and she just agrees! He is just this odd! It was good for a chuckle!

Bandage face is called Ai! She is kinda cute!  We do see her personality a bit more established in the next scene where only Sakura is trying to learn some dance poses.Saki just stares menacingly while the one who is still a zombie is biting white haired zombie girl’s foot! The blue haired girl has funny faces in the mirror and I just love her design so much! I want to hug her and possibly meet her during a speed date! She seems playful and well spirited.  Ai however just stares intensely at Sakura. As we move to later we see the bitey zombie whose name I knew but forgot to bother white haired girl again while Ai hugs a pillow.. I hug pillows a lot! I relate so much!  Saki the biker girl then has the greatest interaction with Sakura! She threatens her for not remembering who she is.. doing the whole High School gang skit! Bullying her for being a goody two shoes. It sells her character so well .. and we get a softcore Yare Yare Daze.. followed by.. I bet my Tamagotchi is dead by now! That made me laugh! The girl cares about her Tamagotchi even in this situation!

Ai chan and Juno which is the name of the White Haired girl.. try to escape the mansion.. which makes sense.. so would I.. well I would love to be an idol so maybe not!.. But well I expect a normal girl would behave like this.. the bitey zombie is named as Tae-Chan. We get a funny scene of Sakura trying to stop the girls and ripping Ai apart, her arms detaching like Legos and her eyes popping out! It looks so clunky yet very satisfying! Great scene! Sakura decides to go with them so she can convince them to go back.. but the girls just want to go back to Tokyo when they are harassed by a bunch of rappers. This is so silly but I love it! A cop would show up.. and wouldn’t you know it is the cop from the first episode. Ai steps into the light asking for help and reveals her Zombieness.. the cop shoots and for about three seconds the girls just stare at the window he just broke.. then everyone begins screaming in a hilariously timed scene! I love that comical timing! I am laughing so hard I nearly knocked over a lamp! 

The second concert

Next we get the semi-emotional bit of everyone being bummed out being a zombie! Ai and Juno in particular, because they were just shot at. Sakura has a talk with Saki who wants to take over the world.. I am not sure if I like how overplayed her delinquent persona is. She wants to take over the entire country she says.. which feels like a really easy but cheap bridge for her to become an idol and take over the country. That way what annoys me more is that Sakura, when asked why she follows the sunglasses guy, doesn’t tell Saki anything. She told Ai and Juno earlier ..talking about wanting to see if her memory returns on stage. Saki can’t really object that even.. since she said Sakura SHOULD get her memory back.. it feels very weird that it is written this way! However we can’t linger too long as we move to the make up scene. Blue girls and ancient Japanese girls call each other by name.. but for some reason my brain doesn’t lock on! The names fade as soon as they come in! I do like how thick the make-up looks! I also like how the two Metalheads came back .. showing that Death Musume already has some fans! It feels slightly heartwarming and reminds me of my first followers Mallow and Emma!

As the concert starts the girls are surprised that their name has changed from Death Musume to Green Face.  Well or at least Sakura is… is this going to be a thing that their name changes each episode?! Tae is still a zombie and is pretty much set on eating the crowd again.. when Sakura struggles to set up a show and the traditional Japanese girl just does some sort of fan dance everything seems super awkward.. but then a random element of the show is brought back.. if you pull to hard on an arm it falls of. So while  Sakura tries to restrain Tae.. her hands some off and as she falls on the ground her head bounces off into the hands of a guy eating dried squid.. who feeds it to her with her eating it constantly! The girls play it off as some magic trick but Saki has fun with this chaos and wants to keep Tae’s head separated. She gets into a fight with Sakura which turns into a rap battle.. mostly because they start yelling insults and text to each other while Kotaro beatboxes over it.. caught by the rhythm the girls commit to this line.. while blue girl gets riled up and begins clapping and shouting YO YO YO YO!   Traditional Japanese girl.. picks up an instrument I do not know the name of and plays some strings to give it a bit of a traditional tint… of course the crowd loves this and Sakura vents what has been bothering her. Even to the audience.

The concert is done and the episode is wrapping up! Just as i feared Saki’s way to take over the world is by becoming an idol.. but okay I guess I did not have to expect deep writing here! She has gained some admiration for Sakura who also explained her situation to the girl now and  even if everything feels quite forced I had a lot of fun with it. I loved the jokes!  There was so much humor that really worked. Saki bringing up the Tamagotchi even during the rap was a great callback and a lot of the humor is recurring. I really like that, it gives lines weight.. even though they are funny you can sense Saki is really annoyed that she lost her precious Tamagotchi! Her best comment was that she liked Sakura.. because her head was so egg shaped and she was a nice person so she reminded her of a Tamgotchi!  The Tae-chan joke is used fairly well as well and even the little blue girl just fizzes with energy while Ai and Juno feel defeated so others can spotlight on stage.. it felt… Balanced and well thought out!  I had  a great time today.. BUT.. I also feel like this show won’t be funny for THAT long. I had a blast.. but it kind feels like a free fall ride. The first drop is super exciting but if it would go up again just to go back… each subsequent drop will feel less amazing.
Oh well! We will see that later!

Pink Girls can’t Flirt: Pinkie about Flirting

Hello Island Guests! It’s time to get up close and personal with me in this post! Today I will deal with those awkward situations in life that come with being me.. when flirting! I am so bad at it..that I might even have developed a super power. I can negate sexiness.. or even sex.. not even just myself! For this achievement my group has awarded me the title of “Group Panda”. In Dutch there is also something called Panda-Points.. which is a score you get for not having sex for extended periods of time. I racked up quite a few! Laugh at and with me today while we look at the awkwardness that is flirting.

Why do we Flirt?

First of all let me begin with a small rant on the stupid idea behind flirting. Like we flirt to show interest in a potential partner.Yet it is really awkward! If a girl likes a guy… she has to play with her hair and smile at him to give off a signal. Sometimes girls even start feeling each other up a bit.. or kissing each other teasingly to warm a guy up to them. HOW?! Why?! With my motor skills being limited motor skills for example I can’t wink with my left  eye.. which we all know is the sexiest eye to wink with if I try I look more like I am having a seizure. Then if I wink at the wrong girl a guy will come over angry and say.. are you looking at my Girlfriend. I get in trouble as I explain that she moved her hair while looking at me. Her hair was in front of her eyes.. he says! Now I have to flee!  Why can’t we use clear signals! Like a bracelet you wear in a pub, taken, available or not looking. Then maybe a colour pink if you are looking for a girl, blue  if you’re wanting to hook up with a guy and purple if you will go for either and military green if you prefer Attack Helicopters. Everyone can understand that! Or we could just wear signs! Or make an app where we check in and you can check our status!

But Noooooo! Even if we manage to convey those visual cues then it even gets more complicated because . then you need an opening line or have someone open a conversation against you.  Guys walked up to me to flirt because I had an itch behind my ear or because I was trying to read text on their shirt. What do you say when someone comes over and asks “Hey have you seen something pretty today yet, cause I sure have”. I can go like “Sure I watched Promare today that had nice visuals” but normally that will not end well. I could go like “sorry I am not interested in guys” yet then I assume he is interested in me! That seems SO arrogant. Maybe he just wants to make small talk.. those people ARE out there.  Maybe he is really nice as a person and shutting him off like that is rude. Why do we need an original catchphrase? People told me the weirdest thing and I have tried some odd lines on girls. 

Why is “Hi , I am interested in you visually, I would like to see if we match mentally as well, are you up for a conversation’ weirder to say than… “Girl you might be cosplayed as an Eevee right now.. but when I am done with you  you will be an Umbreon.. cause I am going to level you all night long”. “Be Original” to win over my heart?! That is just some weird ass gatekeeping. To show interest in a girl I can’t show interest.. no instead I have to be clever?!  Then why most girls end up with such idiotic guys?! Luckily I am a girl into girls so there is a 50/50 of having to be the one initiating.. but this seems like a weird way to deal with things regardless. I have been rejected by a girl for not using a line and instead just saying hi! I am to weird for opening lines you know!

The Awkwardness Dance

I don’t like going to pick-up bars.. you know that place where girls go to pick up girls or guys go to pick up guys. I am not going out to pick up a girl.. I want to go out just to go out.. but apparently.. you have to go out to “pull sum birds”  as Geordie Shore calls it. So when my single friends go out with me.. usually they flock away leaving me behind. So then you have to look around and see if there is someone you can make contact with. Well I live in a small town here.. most girls don’t follow my way and if they do, I might not give off that vibe as I  prefer to act feminine if at all possible. Dress that way as well. I feel like a cow at an auction..looking to purchase another cow. Once you have acquired a target you have to go to so many steps that can fail. First you gotta look appealing and get their attention. Now the one time I bought a girl a drink to get her attention I raised my glass to her and hit the booze rack on the bar, breaking my glass and getting myself covered in drink! Safe to say.. she did not really  want anything for my attention afterwards. I am physically awkward so okay no physical flirting.

There were a few times that a girl actually approached me, usually at a Con or at a party of a friend or something.For example one time my friend gave a movie party, and I knew the answers because I was a big movie buff and a geek. One girl did not need answers to a quiz but came over under the guise of needing that..as others did as well. She began asking me about movie related things and I helped her.. just like I helped everyone else.. she was apparently giving heavy signals but since she packaged it cleverly I just assumed she just wanted my help. Eventually since I reacted so dryly to everything she believed I had no interest.. but I only found out she was interested when I was told.  Why do we flirt so secretively?!  Had she asked, so who do you usually go to the movies with?! Boyfriend , girlfriend?! I might have been cued in but no! To flirt you gotta be vague! Then when you do notice the flirting you start this weird game of doing flirts back and forth.

 The con girl was a good example.  She came and said a flirty line to me.  My friend was flirting with the Bubble Tea girl and left me alone for a bit when a girl approached me and said.. guys right?! In a flirty way.. so I said “that’s why I stick to girls” she agreed but  did not notice my hair flip. So I launched a flirty line at her, aimed at her cosplay.. She took it too seriously and began rambling on about the series. She flirted again, and I flirted back.. but neither could bend that into going to do something together.. it was like we were dancing together but none of us really led so we just stood there and threw invitations to move further at each other until both our respective friend groups came to collect us for our next activity. I searched for her later but could not find her anymore! Now I am not even sure if she was interested still despite the heavy flirting I still think.. perhaps I just misunderstood and that is why she did not ask me to go have a drink with her.. she approached me with a flirty line so I assumed she wanted to ask me for a drink?!  You should let hunters hunt right?! I really don’t get it. I am pretty sure we “danced” but it was not very effective!

Trying to Flirt

The few times I tried to flirt were even more awkward. I am not very sexual so .. the sexy flirting, isn’t really a thing I do. I am utterly and completely unable to tell if people are sexually interested in me, or when they want to get physical. I have no idea on how to tell that. I don’t tend to think that way so usually I have to flirt with humor or cleverness. This often results in me doing the “Pokedex” as I call it. In which case I see a girl do something and I “flirt” by telling her about it. “Did you know that a bowl of peanuts blabla bla”  it’s super awkward. This is why I prefer to flirt at conventions..at least you know  you can talk about an anime or a game and it will invoke a reaction.In the pub I once saw a girl talk about the fact that Japanese had women on pillows you could hug and I went to her and said. Oh that is a Dakimakura. That conversation did not last long either. The pokédex rarely works and since I have such an odd sense of humor I strike out with that as well. I once even made a dead baby joke to a girl in order to win her attention… If I had a dunce cap I’d wear it right now!

Approaching girls is not for me, yet reading interest in me is hard as well.. so I once came up with a strategy I learned during German class. We had to listen to an audio cassette and tell what the german girl was saying. She was a skeeler girl who flirted with boys by throwing herself on the ground in front of cute boys! If they helped her up she would offer them a drink if they walked past she knew they weren’t worthy of her or interested. I believe in the helpful nature of people and I thought that would be cute! I could offer them a drink and we could chat about my fall and then about the drink so we would have plenty to talk about.  So one time I tossed myself on the ground in front of a girl. I landed quite poorly and knocked all the breath out of my lungs.Nearly had an ambulance called as I could barely breathe from pain. She did help me up and asked if I was alright but I was so winded I could not speak. Too much time passed and she waved my friends over to come take care of me and that I was in pain.  I later thanked her for helping me but could not start a conversation!

Another story is how my friends tried to make me flirt. So they got me very drunk on shots. So I felt bold and dared to speak to girls. I am terrified of speaking first.. due to me speaking up for myself in the past and being bullied out of my entire life for about 5 horrible years. I think way too much on what I should say or if it holds any value! Yet my friends were sure that very drunk Pinkie could flirt. Very drunk Pinkie does basically everything for a bet. People can pay me a few Euros and I will talk to everyone to win! However very drunk Pinkie goes from Greysexual to Asexual. From I would love to cuddle and hug.. to.. I dare to talk to you because I am drunk but I want nothing from you now! Drunk Pinkie is a loner. So while I do end up talking to girls , I talk about Mario Kart or Pokémon.. I am very passionate about my stories but I can’t flirt anymore! Even if girls like me and I like them .. drunk Pinkie.. mostly likes Mario Kart and Pokémon…. usually the day after I do crave for some companionship.. but drunk Pinkie doesn’t know how to flirt so she just doesn’t do it. Even if friends whisper in my ears what drunk me should say it doesn’t work as she lacks any intention to wrinkle sheets with people and just says it very wholesomely and friendly. I have made new friends like this but never landed a flirt.

Divine Intervention

I do not get the act of flirting! I feel awkward and it is not a nice way to have a conversation. It is as if a normal conversation with a friend feels like a chemical reaction. They add something and suddenly something bubbles up in my brain to talk about. Our DnD adventures, series we saw, anime characters, game characters. I am passionate about being geeky but I don’t like a lot of the mundane stuff. I am not into music, I am not into politics, I am not into trends. This makes small talk a bit harder but not impossible.. however when you add the act of flirting to it. it feels like conversations are one of those old timy cars you had to get started with this winge thing! Or a lawn mower with one of those pull cord things! I never can get those things fired up! Neither can I maintain flirty conversation. Yet my power goes beyond that I did not receive my Panda powers for nothing.

One time I went on a Holiday with friends. To the island of Mallorca , Spain. There you have a few vacation zones, The Dutch and German zones of El Arenal and the predominantly British visited Magaluf. British people have a reputation and one of my friends really wanted a vacation that meant pants pleasures.  I figured I could entertain myself with my 3ds , a book and the drinks and the beach anyway so I agreed. Yet unlike my friend one night for Arceus knows what reason.. it looked like I would get lucky. Mind you.. this is a place where people looked at the clock and said to total strangers. “Hi It’s 2AM I see you haven’t found anyone to fuck yet..wanna go back to my room?”  That sort of technique worked there.. so getting lucky is barely an achievement there. I met a really pretty girl who was heavily into me and pink and I figured. You only live ones.. let’s see where this will go

. So she took me to the dance floor and we had a dance together…she whispered sweet things in my ear and invited me to her hotel to spend the night. I normally am not inclined to do such things but since my friend constantly bailed on me.. I figured.. might as well see this through.. but then I looked at the girl and I wondered. Was her skin always that green?! I took her outside to get her some fresh air and she looked a lot better soon after. She then looked at my shoes.  She said I had nice shoes.. and then… they were not so nice anymore. The girl got sicker and sicker. I washed up at one of those beach showers and delivered the girl to her hotel and went home to have a proper shower.  At least the girl lost a lot of weight I would judge given how intense our trip to her hotel was. 

Another time I went internet dating. I can flirt a bit more and I at least know their intention when they talk to me! So I met a girl who I very much clicked with. She was a geek as well.. a bit soft core but geeky enough as well. We would eventually meet for a date but as I was traveling towards her we had a huge train black-out! I could no longer make it to the date and we postponed. The second time we actually had a date and went to eat sushi. It was nice and we matched very well. We were hinting at each other that we would be open for seeing each other more and kind of asking each other if we could end the date with a kiss. Or if we would be up for that at least. Then a very nervous waiter came to tell us that dinner was on the house.. they might have served a bad batch of squid that was mislabeled… we both had a lot of the squid sushi. I am not sure how my most successful flirting stories end up in the same way… but we felt SO horrible after that the association with each other was too weird to date from there on out. Before we could get over it she got offered a job abroad as well so she left for a long time and we just lost touch.



Then there was this girl who I met who wanted to do soft Yuri Cosplay act with me..she was into girls and wanted to do a cosplay act of Sylveon and Glaceon.. where Sylveon thawed out Glaceon’s icey heart. I only recently discovered I was into girls and she was into both.. but she was so pretty! The act made me fall head over heels for her. I had to pretend being in love.. but I ended up falling in love through fake flirting. She seemed into it too. Then one day when I planned to make my move during our rehearsal..she told me she wanted to replace me in the act. My awkward movement might cause trouble. I cried and confessed I have fallen for her and she told me she decided she would rather be with a boy instead as it would leave a better impression if I had made my move just one rehearsal before.. it might have been different.. she just had a realisation now.. so she was glad I did not act earlier because then she would have to break my heart and now she could let me down a bit easier.

So the flirt I fell for hardest was script and I ended up being written out! I guess that was the universe telling me that this is not meant for me!  Don’t mistake that for me not believing in love.. because I do.. I just have to find a girl that one day finds me and tells me she has feelings for me! I should not actively pursue this thing because Divine intervention will strike down that ambition! Why do we even have to flirt?!  My ideal girl won’t flirt with me! She will just tell me.. Okay.. so I know you will not be able to tell so here is the deal “Pinkie I like you”!
Until that day I have my 47 cats and oddly enough that is fine for me for now!

And that includes my stories with flirting?! Can you flirt yourself?! Are you as baffled at it as me?! What is the best way to flirt?! Have you been flirting with me and I have not noticed?!
What are some of the most awkward opening lines you used or have been used on you?!
There is so much fun you could leave for me in the comments so surprise me! If you don’t want to leave a comment but do want to leave a Suprise you can always support my Kofi and become a coconut! With the big move coming up any donations will go to setting up my new place and keeping the blog going when money will be a bit tighter.

What Bad Luck! I got Reborn into another Life and Now I am a Side Character (Part 3)

Hello dear Island Guests, it’s time for the third installment of my Isekai “What Bad Luck! I got Reborn into another Life and Now I am A Side Character. In this story I died by falling of a stairs in a moment of bad luck! When I could be reborn into another being with one wish I just asked to be a more amplified version of me! You know the whole super stats thing! Little did I know it would boost my social awkwardness and my bad luck as well! With that boosted bad luck, I became a side character! NANI!!! To see how my journey started you can read part 1 here and part 2 here! How will our quest go on?

Hello again dear diary!  I am sorry I haven’t written to you in so long! I spilled my inkwell on evening of the third day just as I was to chronicle that.. and well  I am sorry for tearing a pages out of you but things have gotten a bit messy! All in all it didn’t matter much anyway because that third day not a lot happened! I almost felled compelled not to leave my house and do anything! I kinda felt blue for failing my first quest as well. Like I could not be bothered doing anything so I just lay in my bed and thought about this new life. I wonder if Elle ..the lady I was reborn lived happily.. and where did she go?! Maybe I am just Elle and I am had a very weird dream ..and I am accidentally going insane..maybe it’s some sort of disease that rots my brain away! Then again I can still count exactly how many nails there are in my bedroom floor, and extrapolate that given my house dimensions to within a margin of about 12 nails are able to tell exactly how many nails hold my floors together. So maybe my brain is still fine!.. But day three came and went without any events. Day four was like that as well. I visited the Owl’s Nest briefly but they had no new quests. Since things were slow I thought I might ask Maine out for a date.. to thank her for the coins she gave me and .. you know she still is kinda good looking.. but she was still out on her forest trip.  Ynaja asked me where I was from and was like the way I was.. I did not understand at first but she thought I was weird.. it made me a bit sad and I went home, not doing much! I think I even forgot to eat!

Today however was quite differently! I went back to the guild and I saw Oscott, Mirina and Daria had returned so I guess Maine was back as well. I wagged my tail so hard I knocked over a glass of another woman in the guild, her name was Carlita a Celestial Bloodrager. She was Drow, from the Down-Underdark. If I ever find my way back to the real world and I can take  this diary let me explain! A Blood-Rager is an inbetween of a  Barbarian and Sorcerer Archetype.. who draw their magic power from something in their blood and Carlita is part angelic .. so she is prone to barbaric fighting but when she rages she changes shape of sorts getting a much cuter uniform and angelic wings! …A Drow is something close to a Dark Elf.. you know like those ones from Skyrim with the bluish skin In normal D&D they are from a place called the Underdark.. but in this world they call it the Down-Underdark ..and it’s like an Island far far away! So yeah I spilled her drink I saw her  transform because she was angry and then.. she looked super glowly and her outfit went white I even saw wings I think.. but then … I got knocked out again..later she told me she did not mean to , it was just a reflex and we talked a bit. When the dizziness in my head finally was over I walked up to the quest board and saw one new quest. There were more before but well in my time unconscious most were picked up already.

Bloodrager Carlita

The quest was a two person stake out in a romantic park, I would have to pose as the others lover ..so feed  each other sandwiches and like pretend to be a couple in love. Apparently someone was selling bogus love potions..or lust potions .. I am not exactly sure as I have found myself increasingly unable to read subtext. Regardless..a guy sold potions to couples to help deepen their bond but it actual makes people break up and hate each other and it had caused conflict in the town  that held the park.. which wasn’t to far away from our town either. I like love so the idea to defend it was super appealing to me!  Maine promised me to take me on the next quest so this is where I could make my move! However I did decide to ask around for other options though! Maybe she’d want some rest after her quest. Oscott looked quite pensive and said he needed to shine the inside of his armor so he could not. He must be a clean freak or something if he wants to do that because no one can see that!
Mirina told me to leave her alone and she wanted to get drunk. She would not go to a picknick because getting drunk publicly was fineable. Daria told me she had to do a thing.. at “whatsitcalled” and Carlia dropped her pen under the table, she could not hear me, she kept searching.. I did not remember her writing.. so maybe I am going insane!

Maine Finally showed up and I asked her to do the quest with me , she came up and smiled  reading the quest. “I think I might take this quest with Mister Mans if you do not mind Elle’ she said while taking the paper away from me. ‘I don’t think we would make a very believable couple now would we?’ she winked at me..I think..she might have stabbed her sword in my chest because that is how it felt! ‘Why?’ I was able to ask her that and she looked at me and frowned. ‘Well I like boys, for one and with your disabilities I don’t think you should go out there,you’ll be made in no time and get into danger, I rather see you safe’
‘M-my disability I asked?’  Maine looked at me and patted my head ‘You know , you are a bit low on charisma my dear, you have a charm for sure but socially you are a bit of a wreck’ I froze up … straight in the Kokoro! I bet this is how those anime characters feel like when the look grey and with the big white eyes and such! When she was gone.. so was my quest..
I sniffeled a bit when Carlita came to me and  gave me a quick hug. ‘I am sorry.. I bet she didn’t mean to hurt you…I just think she really wanted to take this quest with Rho though but hey you know what I have a quest for you, I recently lost my pet, I’ll give you 5 gold if you find it for me? ‘ 

Carlita told me she lost her cat called Autumn and upon me inquiring more details about the cat she at first seemed to be inclined to tell me something but than she changed her mind. ‘Maybe it is part of the quest you can ask around, meet some people in town, I live in near the ports. The house across the ship Jupiter’s Grace.. the one with the green roof. Perhaps you could ask one of the sailors if they have seen my cat?! It will help you proof Maine is wrong about your social skills as well sweety’ .  She winked at me shooed me off. ‘Come on you go girl! Your quest awaits’ . Since I needed the money and could use some experience points I dashed off. I did notice Carlita use a different voice inflection than before, indicating that  there is an increased chance of her knowing more about the whereabouts of her own cat. It is my hypothesis that she knows exactly where to find it and it’s not even missing but she wished to relieve my psycho-emotional malady. In fact given the downwards faced gazed and the avoidant approach factor Ynaja had heading towards the table I suspect she would soon inquire on Carlita why his quest was given to me!  Speculation could be made that this quest was given to me to secure my financial security.. but the way her eyes lit up it seems there have been well willing ulterior motives in play.  

Making why way to the docks I was almost overwhelmed with the salinity of the ocean air.. but also the scent of not so fresh fish! Probably heavily brined. I guess not having access to motorised ships and cooling decks has made the intake of fresh fish more difficult. After acclimating a bit I approached the ships. Apparently the ships are mostly named after gods followed by a blessing of some kind. Most ships were fishing boats like Silvanus Solace or Mystra’s Boon. One ship was a bit mysterious a trade vessel helmed by mostly Tiefling Sailors that seemed to avoid me, unlike me they  mostly had red skins, though there were a few variations and blue ones on top of the deck. They were the crew of a ship called Beshaba’s Pearl. It had a figurehead of a tiefling female but instead of demon like horns she had black deerlike antlers. I could not stop staring at it for a while.. until a seagull dropping hit my outfit.  I went onto the dock to wash it off..when all the Tiefling Sailors suddenly moved out of my way and withdrew the plank to their ship! I guess they really are superstitious about women being on boats. Unfortunately I fell in the water while  rinsing of my outfit because one of the wooden boards had come a bit loose… the ship would not even toss me a rope! Luckily I managed to climb back on shore again! Men can be so rude!

Finally I found the Jupiter’s Grace but it seemed all but abandoned. I noticed Carlita’s house which was quite a bit larger than mine. A single Drow woman looking very much like Carlita was sitting on the edge of the ship playing with a rose. Other than her the ship was completely abandoned. She wore a sailor uniform so I guess Drow have less issues with female crew members..perhaps they just do not genetically diversify that much so there is a big chance of being a female.. I should inquire more from Carlita at a later time. For now I had to proof I was sociable! So Maine would be proven wrong! So I spoke up as loudly as I could. “Salutations Lascar I was sent by thy kinsman to perform an inquiry upon a unaccounted for Genus Felis. hast thou by whims of faith perhaps perceived anything of such notion” The woman looked at me and pulled up an eyebrow. ‘Salty my what now?’ I do not know what came over me there I tried so hard to sound cool and convince her to work ..but now she thinks I was like a weirdo. I tried again.  ‘Excuse me Jupiter Sailor madame I am looking for my friend.. I mean my guildmate’s cate. She lives in that house with the green shingles over there’.  The lady stared back at me.  ‘Ai I have seen a cat, in fact the thing has been a pest and took off with some of the fish we were unloading.  You might want to check out the fish pile near the Mystra’s Boon, they are getting a cart.. I bet your fur ball will show up! ‘  She stared at me from the deck ‘Say you look soaked gal pal.. does li’l old Mako here make you THAT wet?’ She then licked her lips. ‘I fell in the ocean because a bird pooped on me.. I don’t know who Mako is.. is it a person with like a squirt gun or a like someone who throws a bucket of water?” The Drow looked confused “No I am.. you know what never mind’. So I went off.

Maho the Drow “Sailor”

I made my way towards the fish pile that was stacked near the fisherman boat the woman whose name I forgot to ask and tried to hide behind a crate.. unfortunately a bird had tried to pick up a fish and dropped it right in front of my fooves, my feet hooves and I slipped on it and fell into the pile of fish. While trying to crawl out getting fish slapped in the face everywhere I noticed the sound of meowing coming closer. I decided to hide for a bit longer in the fish pile and then flop out when the cat is eating it should not move then! The plan was quite successful, although the oil in the fish had made me a bit more oily than I would have liked.. so I slid a bit to far and bonked my head on a chest. Luckily my horns kept me safe.
The little cat did not get scared off by me! It was a tiny black cat.. not much past a kitten.  I called out “Autumn..come here.. Elle is going to take you to your Mamma!’ I do not know why calling myself by my new name comes so natural to me!  Yet the kitten actually abandoned the fish and like bonked it’s head against me a few times! Maybe it liked how fishy I smelled! I had no trouble picking it up!..Walking off the docks was a different story! I was so slippery.. but I had to keep Autumn safe.. so I brazed myself and walked back to the guild like I had pooped in my pants.. almost doing a crab walk as well.. so I would be sure I would not fall. At one point an orange Tabby cat began to follow me as well! It wasn’t as nice as Autmn though! It scratched at my legs a bit and trying to take a bit. So now I had to crabwalk with another cat nibbling at my feet! I bet if I could rinse of the fish oil at the guild it would return home! This cat actually had a collar! I should get Autumn a collar as well!  That way Carlita would be extra happy! Crabwalk to the store!

By the time I got there though the store was closed! I did not dare to move fast..enough so I guess I should give her that as a treat the next day. The orange Tabby had stopped scratching my leg as well.. which is good because I am pretty sure I could see some bone sticking out! I should have Ynaja heal that. ‘Oh look it’s the Tiefling and her cat parade’  a familiar voice suddenly said. It was the Drow woman that was the Jupiter Sailor. ‘If you like cats that much , I have a pussy for you’ she said. ‘While I would like to become a pet owner myself I am unsure if I currently possess the economical means to sustain a  cat for an extended period of time. ‘No worry babe’ the woman said ‘This pussy will leave in the morning’ I frowned.  ‘I do not think a pet should be only kept for a day, relocating stress will still be in effect so while I would not mind a cat staying over for a night I think it would not be in their best interest accept a deal like this so I am afraid I must decline. The woman laughed and patted me on the head. ‘Aren’t you precious lil old Mako likes you..she’ll probably give up for today but don’t you worry babe she will be back’ I gasped! ‘The water throwing person? ‘ The sailor laughed again and walked off. Such a strange person! I find myself completely incapable to comprehend what she wants.. perhaps it’s her way of speaking it seems more crude than I am used to.. I find myself unable to make conclusions based on these sentences.

Little Leg Hurting Monster

When I finally got back to the guild Carlita was already outside waiting for me. ‘She saw me coming in slowly for a while as crab walking was not very fast. “Autumn’ she yelled coming towards me. With some pain in my heart I held up the little black kitten! It was so nice to me! It fell asleep in my grasp even, making a purring noise! Then Carlita moved right past me and picked up the orange cat.  ‘Thank  you for finding Autumn she said kissing the orange one.  ‘Wait if that is Autumn who is this guy or girl?’. Carlita came closer inspected it and said it was a girl while handing me five gold pieces putting them in my pocket with a wink. ‘You earned them girlfriend’ she said.  ‘Okay but whose cat is this? It doesn’t have a collar’. The bloodrager looked at it and pointed out some out how it was somewhat poorly groomed.
‘She might be a stray, why don’t you take her home with you.. if you found her at the docks she might be hungry and  trying to keep herself alive.. it will not be long for a bad sailor would harm her. ‘How did you know she was eating fish’ I asked Carlita. ‘Well she’s a cat.. and you smell like a barrel of fish I just put 1 and 1 together’ she once more winked at me. ‘How did you know it was female then?’ I asked. Carlita winked again and said she might just have a talent or perhaps she met it once or twice..who knows? I am beginning to think Drow have really twitchy eyelids! I looked at the black girl cat kitten. ‘So do you want to come with me?’ I asked it.. It meows really loudly and pressed it’s head against my hand. ‘That seems like a yes, so how are we going to name you then? ‘ I stared at it for a while before I decided. I found it before I found Autumn apparently so I settled on the name Summer. Carlita congratulated me with my first completed quest and told me she would give me a hug..but I should go home to take a bath. That seemed like a good idea. 

So that’s about it my dear diary! I think I will call you Diana by the way! I took Summer home with me and she seemed to like it there! Like just before I got home she like jumped out of my hands and ran towards the home herself..she got in my way a bit as she swirved to the side…so I had to stop and I kinda jump aside into some horse manure..but well I was going to take a bath anyway it did not really matter!  I had a little friend now.. I am less lonely! Oh I forgot to mention that Ynaja healed my flesh that Autumn had scratched away! Otherwise the horse Manure could have easily caused horrible infections that might lead to amputations or weird diseases but no,  so don’t worry about me Diana I am going to be fine!  
Remind me to get a patch of fabric though once I go out to buy Summer a collar tomorrow!
I do need to teach her some manners, she got in my way again and since I not wanted to trip on her I just threw myself to the side and my growing back horns poke a hole in my couch!
I need the patch for that!

I had a nice bath though! I put Summer on my bed and told her to wait for me and she looked at me and meowed in agreement.  Then I filled a tub with some hot water and added some rose petals and scented oils. I first threw a few buckets of water on myself like in the alley behind my house to rinse of the fish.. I hoped Summer would like me after but I felt she would. When I was in the bath I wondered.. Maine shot me down.. hardly.. do I have a chance .. I think she like Rho!   He’s a thief.. so is it true women really like bad boys?! I don’t understand.. maybe I should find a bad person who likes me? Like a ..anti-paladin or a pirate or a corporate executive?! I wonder if someone like that would ever be into me?! At least Carlita was kinda nice to me.. It’s kind of weird though how no important quests show up when Maine is not around and when there is only one left she always gets the last one even if I try… She will still be away tomorrow as the next town is a day’s travel by foot. So I will see if this trend continues! Anyway I should go sleep now.. Summer fell asleep on the middle of the bed and i did not want to distrub her so I guess I will sleep on the floor next to her. I don’t want her to be afraid that I am gone should she wake up! I wonder if Ynaja can heal backpains?!

The Balad of Tamago Tomodachi

Hello my Island Guests! I wrote this thing when it was really hot! A little something different from my usual stories! No Titles, no chapters! Just a small bardic verse about an unlikely hero! With a bit of inspiration from books i have never read! Also with a bit of Bananya in mind! I just watched that show before writing this and maybe it messed me up a bit!
<NB This post has been formatted to look the best on visiting my website on PC.. the Phone or Table version look passable..not sure if it works in WordPress Reader so be warned>

Our story begins with a girl who is really nice,
she is the pink manager of a place called paradise!
While her blog felt so pleasant and continued to thrive,
Pinkie had some difficulty adapting to the heat in real life!
But make no mistake, this isn’t a story about Pinkie in the end!
No this is the tale of her very special friend!
You say when day Pinkie was so hot she, she melted to her seat.
When she yelled out! “Omg my drink is now boiling in this heat!’
She was crying in panic “I am going to die of thirst”
When we meet our protagonist, even if this encounter wasn’t their first!

Suddenly an egg sat down on the table looking kawaii as fuck!
Daiyobu! It said to girl hugging her duck!
Pinkie sparkled and said ‘Thank Arceus, Tamago Tomodachi it is you’
The egg smiled back at her and said “Hi Pinkie, it’s nice to see you too!’
He then picked up an ice cube.. he had used as a stool!
He dropped it in Pinkie’s drink which now again was cool!
Which she used to cool herself, with gulps so big and greedy!
“Thank you Tamago Tomodachi.. you just helped the needy!”

♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you are my best egg friend!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You are with me till the end!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Thank you for keeping drinks cool!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Oh yes my friend, you rule!

Yet it was not over, Pinkie still was melted to her seat and could not run!
When suddenly she began colouring all red from the sun!
The girl tried to dive away, whining “Oh no! That shade of pink is not on brand!”
Her Egg friend swiped away some sweat and said “It’s okay I understand”
He then threw some plushies and pillows of the couch to build himself a ramp!
He then rolled of that slope and nearly smashed himself on a lamp!
Yet Pinkie would boil.. that much was certain,
If our egg friend would fail to reach the curtain!

So he pushed himself on and bravely rolled and zoomed across the floor,
until he finally done it! He reached the balcony door!
The curtain was there all he needed now was to pull it the right!
Yet this is a feat that is hard to accomplish with egg like might!
Yet if he not do it his friend would soon be completely red!
So he latched on the fabric and began rolling before miss manger was dead!
With an oomph and a sigh the curtain zipped shut,
ass the egg got unborn and landed near Pinkie’s butt.
Both egg, and manager now we’re safe and well!
But Tamago Tomodachi felt a power inside him beginning to swell!

♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you are  my best egg friend!♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You are with me till the end!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you roll at egg like speed!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Closes curtains in your time of need!

The sun was now shut out, but the war was not yet won!
There was still more out there that had to be done! 
Pinkie was still stuck to the couch and had to be freed, 
otherwise soon her raw egg friend was all in range for her to eat!
‘Leave me behind Tamago Tomodachi, I’m done take my money and go’
The Egg shook his head and said ‘No my friend… I can not….. just no!’
Girl and Egg then loving held hands,
When the egg got an idea and yelled ‘Pinkie take of your pants’
The manager just plushed and yelled in distress!
‘HENTAI!!! Baka!  I do not wear pants I am in a dress’
Tamago Tomodachi sighed  ‘I have a plan but you won’t find it sweet’
‘Yet it will certainly help you get back  onto your feet’
‘Do it’ said Pinkie mimicking Emperor Palpatine,
And so the egg would go on with his plan even if he wasn’t too keen!
He rolled outside and yelled to the sky!
‘Oh yellow devil, monster of the buzzing nest I summon thee, please come nigh!’

After a meeting, Tamago Tomodachi hopped inside.. as eggs can clearly hop!
He knew this thing would scare his friend..but at least it would do the job!
Moving back to Pinkie, he hopped feeling buzzing but also bloated.
‘Look my friend what I just brought’ said the egg all sugarcoated!
Pinkie gazed at her egg friend with six legs resting on it’s shell.
When Pinkie cried in Terror ‘Tamago Tomodachi.. WHAT THE HELL’
On his head was a wasp , Pinkie’s biggest fright!
Who ripped herself of the couch to flee from this demon with all her might.
The egg them rolled over the wasp, killed it dead by making it flat.
It dusted off it’s kawaii little hands saying  ‘Well that takes care of the that’

♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you are  my best egg friend!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You are with me till the end!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
That wasn’t a funny Yolk!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
They are Kowaii , yes these wasp folk!

It was finally over, the day , it was saved!
Egg and girl , many trials they had braved!
Yet Pinkie felt troubled, a feeling so strong,
She looked at the egg and asked “Tamago Tomodachi, is something wrong?’
The egg heaved and sweated as it began to crack.
‘I don’t feel so good Mister Stark’ he said.. ‘I can’t feel my neck’
‘I am Pinkie not mister Stark, you may not be snapped and just have a heat stroke’
The egg just looked at her.. ‘Something is growing inside of me..it hurts..it..’ and then Tamago Tomodachi suddenly broke broke!
‘Holy Crab Cakes’ said Pinkie ‘my best friend just exploded before my eyes’
Pinkie looked shocked.. before adding “Just when I was craving for some omelet with rice!’

Egg shells where everywhere and on her face a single tear,
When “swoosh!” a tug on her dress ‘You should not eat me I’ve been in your fridge for over a year’
Pinkie looked down and saw a white body with a sunshine yellow face with on it a beaming grin!
‘I am here Pinkie, I guess I was never what I appeared on the outside but the good stuff within’
Pinkie softly hugged her friend and said “You are just like a Kinder Egg, just filled with surprises.
And that my dear Island guests was the story on how this protein filled hero rises!
It is also where this  weird story now ends!
If you enjoyed my weird outing, please let me know in the comments!

♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you are  my best egg friend!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You are with me till the end!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
I really thought you died!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
But thank god you just got fried!

♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
Yes you are  my best egg friend!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You are with me till the end!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
You really smell quite strong!
♫ Tamago Tomodachi!! ♫
We have been friends for very long!

Anime Over Explained: Pinkie Tries to Make Sense of Anime

Hey Island Guests, did you know anime could be weird? I know! Surprising right?! Most things anime characters do we can justify trough weird explanations , divine powers , a demon hiding inside a character, an altered world or just plain old aliens. So to an extend we can still believe Soda Can’s fighting each other to proof which can is the strongest… yet there are some things in anime we should not look to far into. Today we will be doing exactly that last thing?! Why? Because it seemed like fun.

The Toast Run

Ah yes, grabbing a slice of toast and covering it with jam, then shoving it into your mouth and eat it as you run. If this happened in real life our streets would be littered with jam covered bread because so many of us arrive late at things. I bet there would be plenty of ants too with all the jam on the sidewalks.  First of all when you bite on toast like that eventually it will get soggy and break off. Why not just hold the toast as you run?! I mean sure you need your arms to sling your backpack on… but after that they just keep running with the toast in the mouth. Technically I guess they are less wind resistant this way?  But not really! Instead of holding it “vertically” allowing the toast to be a windblade it is hold horizontally.. as a windshield.. catching a lot of wind..slowing  you down.

Exhibit 1

Let’s also not forget that you should not run for a while after eating, you might explode or something! Holding the toast in your mouth means you fully have to breath through your nose and will running way more exhausting reducing the chance of you ever making it in time drastically. A yoghurt breaker would make a lot more sense as your item of choice. Now of course yoghurt isn’t as popular in Japan but neither is toast. In fact they rarely have breakfast with bread right? So why do they all suddenly have bread on the shelf? I bet it is kinda stale and that’s why they have to toast it, but why would they all have red jam.. doesn’t anyone ever put peanut butter on it or apricot jam? The ultimate run food I would say is a banana. It kinda curves like a sword and we so loads of anime characters be super fast with swords.  Also it could provide some fan service for those who want it and it’s so much healthier… and faster.

Purrfect fruit for running

So here is my biggest gripe with this trope. It’s toast!  Usually a character finds out they overslept and that they are late and they rush out of the house with a piece of toast in their mouth.. how did that bread get toasted? Do they toast it the night before?  Just in case they are late? Or will they actually wait for the toaster to produce their crisped up slice of bread. Neither make sense, people don’t assume they are going to be late, even though they always are and usually characters are SO late there really is no room for toast making. The only way I can imagine this making sense is if they sell individually wrapped toast slices in Japan.. like as in how Oreos are packaged they have jam toast sandwiches. That kind of sounds gross and we never see them buy such things when doing grocery shopping. Please explain in the comments if you DO understand what is going on because I can not wrap my head around this.

I need this now!

Anime Boobs

Being as innocent and grey-sexual as I am I was always puzzled by the drawn boobs and their appeal to people. Surrogates I guess? Yet girls are really weird about their boobs in Japan.. it is a subject that they discuss regularly. Why? If I known a girl for three years now I would never say stuff like “Oh I forgot how big Senpai’s boobs are” Most anime girls who fawn over each others “rack” have known each other for a long time. So that makes no sense to me?! Did any of you girl readers do that in high school?  I mean maybe once I could get, not that I find it particularly interesting (and I am into women) but sure I can believe Cup-Envy would be a thing.

I spent to much time on these things again.

For some reasons these fleshly assets are the talk of the town in anime. I think I talked more about tits (the bird)  than I talked about tits (the boobs)  simply on account that there is more to tell about. Yet what really doesn’t make sense to me is the scaling of these things. Like you think Power Scaling in Dragon Ball is off.. man the size girls attribute to their chest is way worse. I have seen Keijo characters with boobs so huge, that when these characters are grandma they will   look like quadrupeds,  which they call C cups. If a woman has a D-cup there is not a single shirt in the entire country of japan that fits them anymore and if they ever would have an E-Cup Luke Skywalker would mistake them for moons, only to be corrected by Obi Wan.

These two fit together nicely! Kinda like a pair ..of …something?!

So here is the weird thing, clearly those cup sizes they know are all wrong. What they call a C is definitely not that.. so how in a country/world so obsessed by boobs they size them wrong?! How are there so many big chested characters, but no shirts or bras to support them. Clearly they are unaware of the problems large chested women can endure dooming all young teen girls to chronic back problems later in their life. Except for a few rare occasions mother characters also never have big  chests.. so where is the genetic sense in this?! Do all anime girls inherit chest size from their fathers family trees? Clearly they lack the science and it seems very weird that in worlds like this.. no one would study them.

Oh they do that too..not so great scientists then!

Naming Your Attacks

Now this is a trope that to a certain level I CAN understand. People do name their rifle as well. Just if I take out my gun and kill an assailant I do not yell out “Go Popcorn shoot them dead”  Obviously because they know what I would be doing but also because it would be very distracting to my focus. What is even weirder that the trope in its current form isn’t even an anime thing. It’s a Street Fighter II thing. While Goku and Kenshiro did name their finishing moves, it mainly was used on a finisher or at least big attack. They don’t yell ki blast.  Yet nowadays every attack has a name. Just look at Naruto.  If someone yelled Sexy No Jutsu in my ear.. I’d probably realise it was a trick!  It was Tiger Uppercut, Sonic Boom and Tatsumaki Sempukyaku that set the standard for this. Yes yes.. I know I left the most popular two of the franchise out,  but you can point them out in the comments if you can!

 

So now we have an anime trope that isn’t even really an anime trope. For full disclosure this trope to me does not apply to magic. Some spells need verbal components I get that I am talking techniques that would not actually require it. Like anything in Naruto really, or Goku’s Kamehameha. The first time he uses this technique in the sub he doesn’t yell out the attack he just grunts to gather energy and releases it with a Haaaa. Showing verbal is in fact not needed.  Frieza’s Emperor’s death beam also proves you do not need to shout attacks. Even if shouting a technique name is needed.. why not name it Poq or Wuv that would be a LOT faster and you would be unbeatable. Sure it doesn’t have the ring to it that Makankōsappō has to it but you’d be dead before you could kankosappo  so I wouldn’t even know your attacks have cooler names. Poq is OP!

Then again Maybe Staz is right.. though he kinda proved my point

Speaking of names, what’s up with those. Galick Gun?! It’s literally named after Garlic? Why!Garlick already was a thing in Dragon Ball. Why name your attack after some legendary surfing dude? Blue Kill Thing.. or Pink Death Ray are way more descriptive.  Luckily Piccolo did it right naming his attack Demon’s Penetrating Killing Light Gun. That was pretty descriptive. Stil would be defeated by my Poq attack though. Naruto fares a bit better. Rasengan means something like Spiraling Sphere and Chidori also had a naming story for it’s sound and such. Since these attacks have to be delivered to their opponent.. they would probably be prepared for your attack anyway, especially if they can read seals but I’d imagine “I’m gonna blow your head off” would be more satisfying to say then Spiral Sage Sphere.

My gun Popcorn! Shoot them dead! (I do not actually have a gun)

Being Popular for Weird reasons

A very common trait in anime can be , being popular for very weird reasons. As if the writers have some deep trauma they have to compensate and make their old club cool. In an anime about Go , they make Shogi a popular game?!  Really playing Shogi makes you cool?! This trope is often placed on the Student Council President as well. While I will admit some charisma is needed for the part these are usually the biggest overachievers in school, at least the ones that dare to open their mouth. Have you ever found that guy who does extra work for school credit cool?! Obviously their ambition can be attractive but how would a sixteen year old schoolgirl be into an uptight boy who loves rules and regulations?! One I can get ..but usually the entire school flocks out for these type of fellows.

If this was anime he’d be sexy!

Harem anime often do this even worse. Yuki Rito is good example. While this may sound bitter, nice people finish last in love. While you can KEEP a girl or boy by being nice to them, realistically that is NOT the way to get them. You have to be bold , cheeky or fun.  Being nice is not a realistic hook, it CAN happen but not on the scale it happens in anime. Yuki is a former soccer player that now helps with the creation of Manga and he is very good and horticulture. That should NOT get you a Harem at least it would not in this world.

If this image was anime..it would be sexy!

Anime Schoolgirl seem hardwired to  fall hard for positive traits. Jotaro is the delinquent and Kakyoin is the more studious boy and the latter would be more popular in the anime. In our world Jojo would be swimming in girls. Funnily enough Naruto is the one series that deals with this quite well again. Sakura falls for the bad apple and keeps doing so despite Naruto’s effort.. the geeky girl goes for him. Still most anime girls seem to be so goody good  that they all want someone extremely respectable. That might be a cultural thing yet still to me it is weird and somewhat surreal.

In this case I’d say anime makes more sense then reality though because obviously it is way easier to see a future with a respectable person than with Fonzie. I would have so become a band geek if it had gotten me a girl! But alas! Perhaps if I turn Tsundere I will have more luck in this world! They are popular in both worlds.. even though being mistreated would not seem sexy to me.  But with that said! Subscribe and like if you haven’t already! You BAKA! Oh yeah.. I am gonna hook up tonight!

If I was Anime.. I would be sexy!

Pinkie’s Guilty Movie Pleasures: Galaxy Quest

When Ross asked Chandler, Rachel claims this is her favorite movie, Chandler answered Dangerous Liaisons. When Ross asked what her actually favorite movie was Joey answered Weekend at Bernies. It was a great scene from Friends that does show truth. We all claim “Spirited Away” or The King’s Speech or some at least well acknowledged movie is our favorite movie while there are plenty movies that might give us more joy. Movies that make you laugh each time and we can’t help but to secretly adore. Yesterday one of mine was on local television and so it is time to start my captain’s log and confess about those movies I love but never talk about! Mission 1… Galaxy Quest

(such great box art)

Glory Days

The movie came out in the Netherlands in august of 2000, very lowkey it flew under the radar for me until I  finally rented it someday it might actually be really fun. In a way it can be seen as the Star Trek counterpart for Spaceballs which spoofed mostly Star Wars. Where the way more famous latter movie had characters actually set in the sci-fi world but being able to break through the fourth wall plenty of times, this movie is basically the exact counterpart of it.  In this movie the crew of an old sci-fi show gets called into space to deal with an evil tyrant named Sarris. However since they are only actors they don’t really know what they are doing. Everything is based on a lie and they are in over their heads. It doesn’t seem like a very original plot but it has the heart in the right place and has some very nice messages about fandoms throughout.

(The Thermians are actually Squids this is just how they see us)

Jason Nesmith , played by Tim Allan,  used to play suave captain Peter Quincy Taggart on the tv show Galaxy Quest. Along with his fellow actors Gwen DeMarco , portrayed by Sigourney Weaver, the elitist Alexander Dane, brilliantly depicted by sir Alan Rickman, the always cheerful Fred Kwan, played by Tony Shalhoub and grown up childhood star Tommy Webber, Darryl Mitchell, all he has left now is a handful of gigs to relive their glory days.These gigs vary from constant fan conventions to opening electronic stores. Galaxy Quest is clearly inspired by Star Trek and is focussing on the world of the Trekkie rather than the world of Star Trek itself. The actors in the movie can not find other gigs because they are to connected to their respective roles, an issue that still feels quite relatable.. looking at some careers.Their magical days of succes are over now. The movie deals with what is left for these actors when the golden days are over, what becomes of star trek ..or galaxy quest past it’s runtime which is where the movie really shines for me. 

(You can just smell the Gorn being close by)

Conventional

Jason is the only one about his crew that is super excited to visit these conventions. He loves how people look up to him, think he is a real Starship Captain, he takes on any gig he can find to be with his fans. Much to his crew’s dismay. He treats them like lesser elements of the show and they hate him for it. They hate him for taking this so seriously while they are tired of gig. Alan Rickman’s character is so fed up from using his catchphrase he has a little panic attack every time he has  to go on stage. At first the show seems to depict fans as your typical geek depiction of movies. Cosplayed, unhealthy looking way to shy and insanely obsessed with even the tiniest of details. Think Stewart of the Big Bang Theory.

(Justin Long plays “the geek”)

When a group of actual Aliens show up at a convention of course Jason thinks they are just another bunch of weirdo’s taking things way to serious like that one kid who ask them about how computers of level 2 could operate something, while seventeen episodes earlier it was clearly show those computers do not have that function. It’s a funny and sort of credible scenario, between the cosplayers it’s something hard to distinguish what is real and what is not.

(I can get why he thinks the ship is a set.. but that haircut!)

When Jason visits the bathroom though he hears some convention goers talk doodoo about him and he realises how much everything is a charade. He now knows the crew hates him and how he is a terrible person for allowing people to believe he is a real captain..just so he can feel cool.  Now at the same low his colleagues are.. The hurt captain has a falling out and resorts to drinking The next day he wakes up to four crazy fans at his house.. telling him he has to help them stop an alien warlord. Thinking this is some crazy larping gig he will get payed for Jason agrees.. only to quickly find out ..now things are real. Again the premises doesn’t feel original at all yet on an emotional side this one connects to me so much more. It’s the standard “in over your head” plot.. but the build up for this one is perfect.

(Is it weird that I feel hungry for Takoyaki right now?)

A Fake Reality

It takes a while for Jason to realise what he is doing is real.. after all he has been desensitized to all the sci-fi stuff by doing these sorts of gigs for 18 years. Yet when he finds out this is real.. something changes. He finds a drive to finally do something real.. he can make a true difference, it pushes him to take risks he normally would not have taken. He needed to realise his world was fake ..to realise this was real, to be able to step up to the plate and take on the challenge the movie presents. When he can get his crew involved he becomes super excited. Finally they can be the heroes they really are. The next few scenes have them revered as heroes.

(The galaxy is filled with dangers, like edgelords, frogbabies and piglizards)

After all the alien race they are helping led by Mathesar have found their footage, they saw their historic tellings and think this is the greatest crew of space adventurers that ever lived. Their race does not have a concept similar to acting. Everything they film is true.. so by their logic so was this. To get the crew to help them they reconstructed the ship to every minute detail. Tommy can fly the ship  just like he would in the show. Alexander gets the food of the race he played and Gwen…has to say what the computer says because that was her job on the show.

(She kinda looks like Claire from Modern Family)

No matter how hard the crew tries however, it doesn’t take long for cracks to appear  in this reality. Gwen’s role of repeating the computer, isn’t very practical or even useful, it’s just how female sci-fi roles were written in that time. She doesn’t know what else to do. Tommy over 18 years forgot  what he used to do on set to control the spaceship, even then he was just busy with acting not actively thinking on how to steer a ship. Things did not happen because of his piloting skills, things happened because of plot. So when he steers into a minefield this time.. things go bad very fast.

(Why are missles always more effective than lasers anyway?)

Fred was just saying lines on the job he has no real idea how a beryllium engine sphere works, so his reports to the captain are filled with doubt. Jason doesn’t realise he is not actually Peter Taggart.. and expects they have plot armor..but this movie tells them .. you don’t…. well of course they don’t die which would have been the most likely outcome..but still they suffer a big loss. I really like that they don’t actually have the skills and acting out the part is not always enough.

(1/10 Villian not Edgie Enough add more SKULSS PLOX)

A Real Lie

The third act of the movie is focussed on the actors fessing up to their lies and coming to a realisation that they are not the actually heroes of Galaxy Quest. They are not what keeps it alive. In truth it is the fandom. The show is over.. so it’s not the writing or their acting that keeps them having their job. It’s people who love their adventures.. much like these aliens they were trying to help. It’s those crazy sweaty guys that cue up for you and ask you stupid questions about terminal 125B-Q, it is those people who see you as a real captain.

(I would open a hairsalon on Themaria)

Galaxy Quest is not made by the actors who love being praised.. it is made by the people who praise it. These aliens made their ship.. and trough communication with some hardcore fans on earth the group is able to get stuff done. We see them come to terms with thinking as a fan.. treating this like it was real.. like the characters are real.. because in the hearts who made this ship.. they are real. At a certain point Rickman has to say his catchphrase to a dying Thermian..who just wants to here “By Grabthar’s Hammer You Shall be Avenged” .. because it means so much to him. Thus for the first time the phrase really gets meaning! It became real! Such a nice scene!

To me Galaxy Quest is not just about the jokes and the dry humor. It’s not about it’s predictable plot.. it’s the motivations that drive this movie. It’s not about the fight against some generic alien. Sarris is pretty generically designed.. if you think evil alien. you probably have one or two features of Sarris included in there. He is green, Lizardlike, Has warpaint, evil looking armor.. he speaks exactly like you imagine him to to do etc. Galaxy Quest is in essence NOT a movie about a Actor getting in over his head, even if that is the plot.  It’s about how fans can make something made by others greater. How they can understand it better and elevate it to another level. It’s about how an adventure did not have to actually have happened for it to be real. It’s a message to never stop loving!

(If you stop loving what you love Saris will kill you!)

I really love and watching this movie always makes me happy to be a geek. Loving a show isn’t a bad thing.. even if a story is fake it can inspire us. Maybe one day a Trekkie will actually discover warp speed based on the show, maybe one day aliens will read my blogs and use technology to give me anime powers.. because I inspired them.. who knows! Fiction can touch us in different ways and respecting it’s fandom is key. We as fans do not create shows.. or movies.. or have a say in what type of game we get. It’s our duty as fans to keep alive what we love!

Which Popcorn flick is your Guilty Pleasure? What movies are you overly positive about? Let me know in the comments and spread some love!