Pinkie Ponders: How Could Humans Transform in Dragon Ball

I have been pretty bedridden the last couple of days, which let me catch up with some games, tv series, anime and my thoughts… one of these thoughts went to Dragon Ball. I saw a bit about Krillin and wondered.. what would the next level of evolution look like for him. So I decided to let my brain come up with a way humans could transform.. and here is what I came up with.

Step 1: Pinkie’s Guideline for Transformation

So we won’t be doing this!

Now how do I tackle this problem?! Well first of all we need to make the transformation a functional one! Of course I am delving in the realm of fan fiction here but I would not want to turn humans into something they are not. So no giant form, or them suddenly becoming rubber or something. It would also need to do something. I can say humans get a 10x power boost and their hair turns purple and skin  turns pale.. but a 10x power boost will not make any difference and besides that there are possibilities to just use Kaioken for those levels of output. The tricky part here is that we can easily not actually provide a transformation for humans themselves. After all we could just say humans and saiyans are clearly compatible as they can interbreed, we may have the same forefathers and humans have a saiyan-like transformation as well. It would not even be that far fetched. 

No trash Gohan! Best of both worlds Gohan will rock!

This would not really allow humans to stand on their own though. Not only do Saiyans already have a faster base growth, there is also issues like Zenkai boosts, the power boost Saiyans get after they have been defeated. Humans don’t have that so just giving humans a golden form of their own.. would not feel right. Then there also would be the fact that humans getting blond hair and blue eyes and calling themselves a person which has transcended humanity is a bit iffy! Yet neither are the main reasons I opted out of this route! No .. the real reason is Gohan! Well him , Goten and Trunks to be exact. Hybrid Saiyans are made a big deal… However in my eyes the show does very little to establish humanity in Gohan, Goten and Trunks. It is merely reflected in their personality. If we give humans a transformation however.. I want it to be able to coexist with a Super-Saiyan transformation. This will mean that there will be big changes in the story and Goku and Vegeta might just take a back-seat towards the Hybrids later on.

We can’t mess (too much) with the iconic moments!

The third factor I am taking into consideration is that it has to keep humans relevant to the story. During the Saiyan Saga, humans were not relevant.. and only during the Namek Arc did Krillin have a few fights where he would be relevant. After that, it all goes down the drain fast. I do not say humans are weak but clearly they can not top the Saiyans in terms of sheer power. We must find a way to equal the playing ground at least a bit. Of course the series only started to be be transformation heavy on Namek, and I do not want to make the Super Saiyan moment less Iconic.. so transformations have to come after that. Yes.. most likely there will be gold! As golden Frieza is an ultimate form as well I might as well keep the theme up a bit. Either way… it does mean that this power is more or less stumbled upon.. as if a human had extra abilities people were aware off, it would have come up earlier. 

Transformation has to be show in Manga and sell toys!

The fourth and final factor I will need to take into consideration is that this transformation works both in Manga and in Anime, Dragon Ball is a Multi Media franchise after all. So stuff like an eye colour change, or the aura taking a faintly other shape will not be enough we have to make something up that  people can instantly see and go like “oh heck yeah Krillin is using his transformation”  Something that looks badass but also is unique to humans. That was quite a task..but I think I have come up with a great solution, that feels very in line with humans and martial arts alike.

Step 2:  Coming up with “type” of transformation

Clearly Humans would not use Transformations as restraint!

Now to make a unique transformation and keep humans relevant let’s take a look at all the other races that we know that do have transformations and how they work. First of all there are of course the Saiyans, who transform by anger/emotion. The power works as an enhancement. It boosts their power level by several factors, the amount of energy needed and wasted depends on what form they are in.  Then there is the Frieza race, who transforms based on mostly innate talent. The race has access to extreme raw power and the transformations are sealed as it were to keep one from being destroyed by their own power. The transformation works like a metamorphosis and is reached by unleashing power.

Our transformation has to be cooler than that!

The Namekian transformation is lesser known and it literally allows a Namekian to grow. As Namekian’s do “grow” as plants and are genderless this makes sense. It mirrors them well.  Then there are the androids, who in some cases transform.  Cell, Android 13 and Android 21 had access to transformations.. and while all work in slightly different ways, the concept of their transformation is Augmentation. The biggest asset of this transformation is to give them a higher reserve of power.. it is additive transformation. Meaning it is the sum of several parts not the multiplication of one. The Majin transformation basically is exactly the same as that of the Androids, one adds parts to gain that parts strength.

Our transformation ,should probably be less heavy on Trucker Hat!

Saiyans seem to be the allrounders,  that get better at what they already do. The Frieza Race gets more destructive as they transform and the androids, even Cell are slightly more defensively focussed. Android 17 is known for his barriers, but Cell uses these as well, 19 and Gero absorbed energy in a defensive capacity as well. Namekians trough the series from Z onwards mostly work as guides. Piccolo is more so a teacher and a Mentor rather than a fighter. Kami has always been a guide and Dende works as a healer. Majins are a bit of a mirror match fighter idea. While we later also see other transformations like magical girls nearly all of the transformations fall either in the “healer, Fighter or Tank”  archetypes. So with humans I wanted to go with the fourth option… support.  Clearly the show is about Goku, Gohan Vegeta and the likes and that will not change. So for humans to have a transformation it would need to  be one that can help the main characters.. but that also can turn Gohan into an absolute beast of a warrior.

Pokémon is always a good analogy!

How do we do this?! Well Saiyans are a race of Barbarians, a race of soldiers and warriors they grow through fighting. Namekians work like plants, they grow like plants.. so how do humans grow like earthlings? We evolve. We adapt. This adaptability is shown as the factor that keeps humans in the fight. Even in Dragon Ball Super this is shown. Roshi and Krillin perform fairly well as fighters in the tournament of power.. (as well as Tenshinhan)   because they fight smartly. So the human transformation will allow them to do that.. it will allow them to “evolve”. As such it will trigger in situations of near death.. Like a Zenkai boost.. but before the actual injury! If you are about to die or confronted with death you can “evolve” It can be explained as the reason why women can suddenly move steel beams when trying to save their baby from a burning home, and how people escape from near death situations by the sheer will to survive. Darwinism and the will to live triggers this transformation. So it might not be to much of a surprise that the first human we see transform in the series would be Yamcha.

Step 3: How does it Look, How does it work?!

My first Human Transformation!

The transformation will happen during the beginning of the Android Saga, when Dr Gero finds Yamcha and starts draining his life.  We flash back to how Yamcha was killed by  the Saibaman which now instead of a meme will act like a trigger. Yamcha, Grabbed by Gero finds himself in a fairly similar situation.  He is grabbed in a hold and can sense death is coming. However this time his body reacts instinctively. The Dr is draining his Ki but suddenly that Ki begins to take shape. It turns golden and rather than just being a field of energy it takes a shape much closer to Yamcha’s body.. as it forms two extra arms. Golden  translucent arms that Yamcha can move as his own.. and he can fire an energy blast with them?! Yamcha uses this ability to escape, damaging Dr Gero, who now is forced to retreat a bit earlier. Goku catches up sensing Yamcha’s Ki rise and the rest of the story would follow the normal trend for a while.. but a surprised Yamcha stands there with an evolved Ki Aura.

Bodhisattva, the deity of compassion

Humans adapt… and even in D&D or in most other fiction they are always depicted as a race that is good at fitting in.. at adapting to new environments to overcome new dangers.  So since the Ki of other races reacts to their state of being it makes sense that that of a human would be as well. Grounded in the concept of evolution, while it would not evolve the human itself, one skilled enough with Ki to create energy blasts can use their own live energy to evolve their life energy.. to adapt it. These transformations I will base on the Bodhisattva.. the goddess of compassion. The Saiyan transformation has some potential overlap to Chakra and I thought it would be fun to keep a eastern influence to the transformation as well, that works well with the schooling in the Dragon Ball world.  Being the voice of compassion and sympathy these transformations do not focus on raw power but allow a fighter to use his own strength to overcome and adapt.

Tien gets the more boring transformation but Japan doesn’t like Tien anyway!

Later forms could include a third eye, linking back to Tien’s history and his people never fully closing that off, that unlike Ultra Instinct would work more like Tsuna from Hitman’s Reborn Hyper Intuition allowing you to see when blinded, or allowing you to see enemy weaknesses. A third form could be a flaming aura that could punish an enemy from engaging in Melee too much, which once again seems to be a weakness of the humans. Divine Hands, Divine Eye and Divine Fury could later potentially lead into humans adapting it to god ki and potentially Ultra instinct as well.

Gohan using all three human transformations

Best off all.. this would all work on Gohan. When Cell broke his arm when Gohan saved Vegeta from perfect Cell, instead of just learning Super Saiyan 2, he could have learned Divine hands as well..showing Gohan is indeed.. not just like his father he is human as well.. wielding their transformation. Divine Eye he could awaken in his fight with Basil, in the Tournament of Power Exhibition Match. Divine Fury Gohan could learn either during the Buu Arc to shield himself from being absorbed by Majin Buu.. OR during the Tournament of Power when he fights Dyspo.. who mostly relies on Melee attacks.Unlike other transformations, humans can get theirs in random order. Krillin for example would probably Awaken Divine Wrath first, Tien Divine Eye and Yamcha like explained would be the perfect candidate for Divine hands!

Firing one beam and hitting your opponent with in the back with another seems powerful?!

Being able to shoot two beams might not seem very powerful, but Humans have the ability to bend their Ki beams, so shooting two could lead to a pincer attack. A Ki beam is always higher than the power level of the human wielding it as was revealed in several magazines.  A double Masenko fired at the same target might not do much.. but two bending Kamehameha’s striking from the front and back.. would have HUGe benefits.  Looking for a weak spot in an attacking would allow humans to use techniques like the destructo disc or Yamcha spirit ball to be way more precise and effective sealing punches away works great against henchman .. and let’s be honest here, the humans will still be fighting the henchman still!

The fights during the Moro Arc could be super interesting with transformations!

A lot of techniques would have implications during the Moro Arc as well, humans could use Divine Eye to work a bit more in an exposition fashion so Beerus and Whis could actually stick to their principals of not meddling. Divine Wrath can be used to shield against the new Android introduced in that arc and Divine hands can help Gohan use his new shield technique.. while also taking potshots at enemies from behind said shield!  It will keep humans relevant without changing the power levels to much! 

So how would you give humans transformations in Dragon Ball?!  Have you ever thought about it? What did you think about my idea? Let me know in the comments!  Now I am gonna see if I can develop Divine pillows, so I can take the best naps! Shine on my little lights! Oyasumi!

Fugitive Hunter – A Game About Terrorists..Made By Terrorists.

When I’m not cleaning out pool filters or checking the water’s PH levels I can often be found organizing my bad games alphabetically. Fugitive Hunter can be found under the letter, F, not for its name but because it’s Fucking dumb.

For nearly two days I had absolutely no notes on this game except that is was mind numbingly stupid.

I even considered just publishing that.

But that would be letting it off too easy.

Developed by Black Ops Entertainment – a gaming studio developed by four dudes that somehow graduated MIT. The game was published in 2003 by Encore Software – which looking them up – really doesn’t seem to deal with publishing games very often. As they shouldn’t.

The shear amount of ways to attack this game are almost overwhelming. It’d be impossible to cover everything that is wrong with it, to be honest. So I’ll just start at the macro level.

There are different types of terrorism. You have Narco-Terrorists (Cartels, traffickers, drug kingpins etc). There are politically motivated terrorists.. like the IRA. Then your garden variety (choose your religion) extremists and lastly there is a much less violent form of terrorism. A slow, bloodless coup of sorts. A war waged on the mind. Intellectual terrorists like the idiot, Bhad Bhabie or the Kardashians. Stupidity and pointlessness of such a dangerous scale that on a long enough timeline begins to indoctrinate an unsuspecting mind. Thats the territory the minds behind Fugitive Hunter belong to. Intellectual terrorism.

Definitely failed the Jack Bauer Quiz

Now that might seem a bit harsh but it’s how I feel.

Post 9/11 America was a weird place. Nationalism was at an all time high and I fucking hate nationalism. Every day in high school for lunch you could find yourself cornered by a recruiter for the Marines or Army. The more punk or alternative you looked the harder you were pressed. You couldn’t drive to the store without hearing a country song about kicking, “Usama-Obama-Ali-Muhammad’s ass” and every fucking Football game would have Jets fly over it. Because that’s what America does. We pay for Jet Fuel to fly over football stadiums instead of housing for the homeless people freezing to death outside of them.

So… I hated the ultra patriot bullshit back then as it is and Fugitive Hunter is the perfect reminder as to why. Macho-bro-American-flag-waving-bullshit. It *just* falls short of satire. If only the writers were just a bit smarter. Or didn’t actually believe the shit they were spewing.

Thats to not say it doesn’t have it’s funny moments. Objectively – fist fighting Osama Bin Laden in an arcade type fight is ridiculous enough to make anyone laugh.

Outside of that however the game just tries too damn hard. It just wants to be cool so bad. It’s really kind of sad to watch. Fortunately, it even seems like the developers realized about halfway through the game what sort of monster they have created and wrap it up abruptly. You can basically beat the final four or five levels within an hour and a half. It’s almost as if one of them woke up and really re-examined their lives.

As far as actual gameplay is concerned it is a First Person Shooter without an aim button. So that should sum up the mechanics of the game for you pretty well. The enemies respawn at a maddening rate – usually directly behind you. All great fun.

The dialogue is basically non existent and when it is there you wish it wasn’t. You can’t make it through a level without the main character tauntingly saying, “Yo Mama” to an enemy he has gunned down at least 15-20 times. The sound is awful. The music is shit. I’m pretty sure Dr. Dre and Eminem could sue them for ripping off the main chords/music to, “Kill You” off the Marshall Mathers LP.

The graphics are awful especially for the time it was released. It’s almost as if this game was created to be bad.

And then it struck me. Like a bolt of lightning – electricity traveling through the universe landing in my head and shooting out my fingertips. This game WAS created to be bad on purpose. This game is a weapon of mass disfunction.

Get this: Did you know Osama Bin Laden was not only big into pop culture but also anime and gaming? When the CIA released more than 417,000 files from the Bin Laden raid he had massive collections of anime, emulators and games. Even popular first person shooters like Counter Strike and Half Life.

So maybe… just maybe … back in 2003 when the government (that can see through buildings from outer space but inexplicably couldn’t find number one most wanted man worldwide, Osama Bin Laden) had to unleash the ultimate weapon. They would feature him in one of the worst video games ever. That would surely flush him out. Right? At the very least bring him to the brink of suicide. A fate deserving of such an evil man. – Periwinkle

(Definitely DON’T) PEE IN THE POOL

Just your typical chat between writers
And this poor soul who also has been victimized

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

4.) A handlebar mustache (American Chopper)

5.) Blood of a Backstreet Boy (American Idol)

6.) An impossible to control Q-Tip (CSI)

7.) The tooth of a terrorist (Fugitive Hunter)

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Definitely not the reason I do this BUT if anything I write brings you joy and you felt like buying me a cup of coffee I would wholeheartedly appreciate it. https://ko-fi.com/colinsik

Pinkie’s Fantastic Five: Movie Themes

Hello Little Lights, it is time for another post! Mallow tagged me for something quite awesome! Thanks Mallow! Visit Mallow! He listed some of his favourite Movie Themes. A top  four!  However 4 is an unlucky number and I am unlucky already..so I decided to make it five!  I always feel a bit stressed when making a top 5 as it basically forces me to rank things against each other and maybe other movie themes would get sad! There are so many that are great! So instead of doing top 5, I decided to change this to Fantastic Five! A random grab of five things that are super awesome! Not ranked and maybe not even my favourite 5! Just five I want to talk to you about today!

This post will feature 5 videos and they are best Listened to while reading their respective Paragraphs! So please visit this post on my actual site!

Power Rangers The Movie (1995): Go Go Power Rangers

With a guitar Riff that immediately takes you back to the 90’s you know what is heading your way when you watch this movie!  Yet.. these first notes also surprise you.. where is that iconic sound.. of impending thunder and lighting, that guitar roll that is so linked to the show!
It follows soon!  In this day and age I think this is the best rendition of the theme because of those few opening notes!  Thus qualifying as a movie theme! As the series never had those first few Riffs!  I always wanted to be a Power Ranger, and to an extent I would still like to be! Not only is this one of THE best childhood themes out there.. it also also a theme of escapism to me! I’d be able to unwind with Power Rangers.. hoping that one day I might find the strength to stand up to my bullies! That I would morph into a more confident person that can stand up to them.. and that I did!  I never expected to grow up as a Pink Moth.. but at least I have a great idea of what my Zord would be!  “Mothra Pink Ranger Power”

Dragon Ball Super Broly: Blizzard

So a re-dub of a song that is about a movie.. that once again is a series! However this song really is unique to this movie! The music is so different from what you usually hear! It’s so unique and Megami’s textual interpretation shows how well she knows the source material!  I love how she wrote the song from Broly’s perspective. While I prefer subs in anime.. I really like dubbed music so I can understand the lyrics and while there is an orginal english version I have not found it as audible as Megami’s version! That doesn’t stop the music from this track to be pretty amazing though!  I really like it. Dragon Ball Super Broly is the most expensive movie I ever went to! By FAR! Not only did I pay top dollar to see it 4D.. which was amazing to have steam going off around you and your chair shaking at powerful punches, but I also travelled half the country to find a theater that ran a 4d version in Japanese. It was a great memory and the song to me reflects that.

Catch me if you Can : Catch me if you Can

If I have a favourite movie, it will probably be this one! Steven Spielberg did a great job of telling the tale of Frank Abignail Junior.  The casting was amazing, the atmosphere so fun and it is just an extraordinary tale! The main theme is unique and has this elusive quality!  Just when you think you get the melody it slightly shifts!  And that is exactly what this movie is about so when I first realised that I was like OH MY ARCEUS!  I love this! It might not be a thing I can bob my head to but I can flail it from right to left in a seizure like fashion as I do know this melody quite well by now!  It is just a very fascinating theme to me! A;also for some reason I really like movies featuring Tom Hanks and Airports! I am not sure why! I love the Terminal as well! But that one doesn’t have too much of an amazing song! It also misses the best knock knock joke ever!

Children of Dune: Summon the Worms

I am really messing this one up! Not only is this song from a Mini series rather than a movie, I also did not get it from said mini series. I actually know this song from another tv series where it was used as the title sequence. It was a dutch show called Peking Express, which basically is our translation for Orient Express. It was a show very similar to the great race and it involved people having to hitchhike from Moscow to Beijing. With some special challenges along the way. It was a great show with an even better opening. The drums in the song are timed with the beating of some sort of chinese tower at the end of the trip! Would your favourite couple make it to the finish line.. it got you pumped and hyped, and then I watched Children of Dune with a young James McAvoy …It was not what I had expected.
Dune.. to me .. is kinda boring! Not gonna lie! Luckily it will always have this amazing soundtrack! I know it has a lot of fans but it went way too political with me! I just wish my eyes were as blue as Leo Artreides! 

The Rock : Hummel gets the Rockets

Golly gosh I love this music Track! It would probably be my favourite Theme of all times. There just so much to unpack! So dynamic, so epic!  And once again, I fell in love with this not because of a movie but because of a tv series! In this case it was Expeditie Robinson. A show originally from Sweden that in America got adapted to Survivor. Sixteen people get dropped on an Island and have to survive and determine who is worthy to stay on the island. I loved this show for many many years, but at one point the scheming element got so out of hand that people could get extra votes and negative votes. At one point 8 people were left but 32 votes were cast, to kick the most deserving survivor off because he was too big of a threat. I don’t mind casting out a treat.. but the episode was so convoluted and sucky that I dropped the series after. Luckily the movie is still pretty good so if I want to hear the theme song I can still watch Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery break into Alcatraz to stop some sparkly ball missile treat!  That’s the worst kind of missile treat!

Tags

So Mallow tagged four people to do this challenge! It’s a bit of his own thing and this is not meant as a Blog Challenge I think… however! I am going to try something out! I am challenging my STAFF to do this tag as well!

Periwinkle, Sunny, Kuro and Indigo, I challenge you to come up with a list of movie themes that is as good as mine!… or Mallows! and like always my normal rules of tagging apply!
Mention that you want to be nominated and I will make it look as if you were nominated all along! I look good, you get a tag.. we both win! And with that I shall be off for now! I hope you enjoyed some great movie soundtracks with me! Shine on my little lights! Oyasumi!

Digimon Adventure Episode 18: The Battle in Tokyo Against Orochimon

Hello Little Lights, while I am trying to recover from my health issues I decided to start getting back into blogging slowly by tackling some easy to handle content! It is time to continue picking up those anime I was watching again! That way when I am forced to stay in bed, I  can at least get something done!  So yay!  We start with picking up Digimon again. Since becoming a VBlogger though, this will be more of a reaction blog to the episode than an actual review!

The First Act

I chose a bad time to burn out on watching anime as episode 16 is a direct continuation of episode 15, the enemy at the end  evolved  into Orochimon, from eyesmon! Luckily I am quite aware of the “digidex” and which Digimon evolves into what.. and how! So I did not feel lost! It would be kind of bad if I got lost in a kid show anyway I guess!  Anyway in the last episode the chosen kids fought Eyesmon in the fake Tokyo and after defeating it , the creature evolved. They had discovered that Eyesmon was responsible for the Tokyo blackouts  and this week we kind of see why?!

Orochimon has the power of EMP roars, which is treated as something way more serious than it should be… I loved how Digimon up until this point was very cleverly written and once again this power up does connect to everything going on in a very thematic way, but just like the last episode it feels a bit cheaper than before. It fits but it’s less earned. Kochiro’s laptop only flickers a bit while in the real Tokyo suddenly all sorts of light bulbs begin to burst as it is stated that the EMP roar affects the real Tokyo in the same way. Then why did Koshiro’s laptop not go poof?! The eight heads of Orochimon over-power the chosen ones and it is time to flee. Yamato however wants to solve this now, for a reason that has yet to be revealed as I react to it! If I were to guess I would say this is where Takeru and maybe Kairi come in…after all the group is with 6 right now… perhaps they need… 8?!

The first act ends with the party becoming separated again. Yamato and Taichi end up alone  due to the recklessness of Yamato. Orichimon does some shenanigans with water that destroy his “dimension”   Since they are in his dimension now, that is located more closely to the real world time flows differently here than in the rest of the digital world or something as is explained by Koshiro who works like a fine exposition tool, when the other four are discussing their lost battle and try to come up with a strategy. It is nice to see the four non leaders together and them dealing with problems that come with that. Without Yamato and Taichi we see the group depicted as slightly more fearful and less motivated, as a group should be without their leaders. Morale has dropped!  So the episode handles that pretty well! 

The Second Act

We begin the second act with a super lame visual of Taichi, Yamato and their Digimon sitting in some sort of underground location that looks quite similar to the location where the others were.  However the details of this picture are laughingly sparse. I get that it is hard to draw in details from a distance, but if that would be the problem I would not have chosen this shot! It lingers for a fair few seconds as wel so it kind of killed the gravity of the situation for me! It just looks a bit to yankee for me and I let out a chuckle rather than being concerned for their welfare. It is followed by a rather cool visual of Orochimon’s heads creeping past the location searching for them. I like how the sky is coloured white.. like empty digital space rather than some gloomy cloud that reflects their emotional situation. Normally in nearly every scenario.. in a situation like this the sky would be ashen  to reflect the despair .. but here the rules of the digital world stay in place and it doesn’t just start to rain to enhance emotions. So we are looking into a pretty somewhat strange sky!  It helps sell the alien world thing a bit more!  Something this show does quite a bit better than the original!

We then get a lot of focus on Hikari and Takeru, which makes me believe we may say two new chosen ones soon!  Hikari even sees an actual digimon! The mother of the family makes a very VERY strange decision though.  Because her car is glitching out a bit and stuck in traffic  she decides to abandon it and take the train back home?! What?!  Are you even allowed to abandon your car in the middle of the road like that?! And obviously people will stampede towards the train station.. so why would you let your daughter exit the car in a dangerous situation like this. Stuff just exploded not too long ago! Not so great parenting there! Of course Hikari gets trampled and separated from her mother. Also why is Takeru being left home alone during a black-out!  These parents are not very good! 

The second act concludes with a great team bonding moment from the chosen ones! The leaderless group says what they appreciate from their Digimon and tell each other stories on how they have grown and how they should not be scared.. because they have come a long way since coming to this world. We see Joe take on his Faux Leader persona and how it cheers the others up!  It is very wholesome to see and it makes sense! He wants  to be the Senpai and now he can when everyone is at a low!  We also see the strength of Sora and how proud she is of Biyomon, we see how Koshiro thinks his digimon is the coolest and we see Mimi tease Palmon that she is only the prettiest Digimon when she evolves. I loved these moments! It is followed by a strong moment of bonding  between Taichi and Yamato as well. Where the rest of the group kind of at times tried to slow down Yamato for reason, Taichi understands that sometimes you just have to step up, so when Yamato wants to fight to save his brother, even with chances not in their favour Taichi not only lets him he joins him!.

The Third Act

The third act and thus the climax of this episode is the battle against Orochimon! It quickly becomes clear that Takeru and Hikari won’t join the squad in this episode. However, I am beginning to see more and more similarities to the first episode. We have an enemy that evolves several times, a fight between a superior force in a realm that is somewhere between the digital world and our one.. and Yamato and Taichi who are the big focus. The rest does show up just a little into the fight.. but they accept that in this fight they are the support. It’s left up to their two leaders, which I think is a fitting end for the “Tokyo Blackout Arc”.  I suspect however that this fight will not conclude it.. something will happen here that brings back Takeru and Hikari to the digital world before it is over. I am sure of it!

The fight itself is quite nice as well, after a few failed attempts from Yamato and Taichi to do it alone, they do realise they need the group! Yet at the same time that group also realises they lack the sheer offensive dominance the other two have.. so rather than just fighting along, they distract the metal heads of Orochimon that it uses for defence.. Zudomon also shows some defensive skills, spinning his hammer around like Thor!  Kind of cool and nice to see everyone take slightly different roles in this fight.  Energy attacks do not seem to work on the snake’s water blasts so MetalGreymon and AtlurKabuterimon take a Melee approach that seems to work.  Sometimes a weaker attack is better than just the main attack! The classic show fell into that trap where everyone basically ended up spamming one attack! So these fights feel much more alive.

The fight is concluded by MetalGreymon… but hey Taichi has the goggles and it’s a digimon rule. Everyone got a moment again and even with Takeru and Hikari getting scenes here and there, it never feels too thin spread. Everyone is there and has personality, the music, the digivolutions , it all synergises once again and the battle ends on a high note!  We know have seen how a single Ultimate Digimon can still be on par with 6, so even Devimon being just a Champion for now seems possible..because unlike the old series there seems to be another force behind this all. Like how we have seen Omnimon in the first three episodes.. something is pushing them to this level.. and now yet again.. even after killing the Digimon, something changes. A new countdown shows up..towards the destruction of Tokyo.. just like in the first three episodes, and I am excited! I know I am watching this late..and not maybe not that many are into this series to begin with.. but I had fun again! I just needed to recharge my battery a bit!

For those who do not use Twitter, I have been currently having a lot of health issues that is completing consuming my energy pool or making me forced to stay in bed. As this is going on I can’t reliably put out blogging content, though I am slowly trying to get back in the swing of things. However since I have been quite unstable I can’t really tell you guys when I will be back full force! My apologies! I’m trying to recover as fast as I can! For now.. time for a bit more rest!
Shine on Little Lights! Oyasumi!

CSI: Paradise

Before I spent my days skimming pools on an exotic island resort dodging endangered baby Chinese Alligators that Sunny keeps putting in the pool I was a crime scene investigator. A blind, dumb and slow crime scene investigator that despite all physical and mental odds against me still managed to solve five mysteries.

I’m alone, belly up to the bar at Pinkie’s Tavern. A low lit place with smooth jazz and smoother drinks. I look at myself in the warm reflection of the glass behind the bar and then back down at my stiff drink. The singer – some dame with moth wings – purrs in the corner. Nick the bartender comes up quiet but stern.

“Listen, pal. I don’t know what kinda night you’ve had and I don’t wanna know. But I do know that it’s last call and I don’t want to but if I have to just know I‘ll haul ya outta here myself.”

After nights like these it’s hard to just go home. After seeing what I’ve seen for so many years I thought I had become immune to the horrors of crime. Only to be proven wrong yet again – and on this lovely island resort of all places. I will surely take the aftermath images of the Flaming S’mores Killer with me to the grave.

I pay my tab and slowly turn from the bar, adjusting my hat. I turn to look at the singer once more and notice the stage has turned into a load screen. Odd.

I go to step out the door and get hung up on a bar stool. Damn not again.

I’m guessing the bartender is now ordering me out by his body language but I can’t tell because all dialogue has muted itself.

I awake in a cold sweat. Relieved to know I am not some tortured detective in some B Noir Film but saddened that I, again, woke up on the same planet as the game developers that made CSI: Three Dimensions of Murder.

Shut up, you. Wrong CSI

CSI: 3 Dimensions of Murder is based off the hugely successful original CSI television program that ran a jaw-dropping 15 years (2000-2015). Ted Danson was even in it at one point? And Elisabeth Shue?? AND Laurence Fishburne!? Where was I for all of this?

Heyyooo forget 911. Somebody call the fire department

So anyways – Ted Danson, Elisabeth Shue and Lawrence Fishburne weren’t around to save CSI: 3 Dimensions Of Murder. Not that it was the casts fault. The voice acting for its time is pretty good. I mean compared to a lot of shit I’ve played it holds up. But the game is just so damn buggy.

Developed by American developer, Telltale Incorporated (known for their licensed game efforts, The Walking Dead arguably being their most notable) and published by Ubisoft it was released for Windows in 2006. Later ported to PS2 on September 25th 2007. Which is probably why the game is so close to being good and falls short.

Telltale surprisingly went defunct in 2018
Chances are if you’ve never heard of Ubisoft you could give a shit about this article in the first place

The writing is good. It has five cases (which seems a bit small but they are pretty dense stories packed with twists like your typical CSI show). The voice acting is solid. Some of the shit the suspects say is hilarious and boss like this prime example of fed-up-with-the-world-biatch:

Grrrrrrrrl power

What’s frustrating about the game is that the only reason is it takes long is the constant load screens. Even for its era – even if it was early PS2 era it would have too much load time. Let alone 2007. The “playable” crime scene areas are super small – and will have a ton of evidence all basically in one place. Which is fine. Being an older gamer I still love point and click exploration.

BUT what sucks you out of the game is that once you collect the evidence you immediately have to go to the lab to analyze your evidence. *Load Screen*. Analyze your evidence. Now you need to question your suspect again. *Load Screen*. Ask one question. Get another piece of evidence. Return to lab. *Load Screen.* Analyze Evidence. Suspicion arises. Need to question suspect more. *Load Screen.* Question suspect. They tell ya to piss off. Now you need a warrant. *Load Screen* interrogating is granted. *Load screen*

I think you get the point. For every hour I play I might actually get about 35 minutes of gameplay in. That’s like fucking college loan interest rate ratio shit. It’s a six hour campaign but with load times you’re looking at sixteen.

So… aside from that… the controls are horrible. You can see a splatter of blood but ya just can’t… nope… little to the left… shit…to the right…fuck… back to the left. Got it. Sure is hard handling a Q-TIP out in the field.

After all of that – if you can get past it – and that’s a legitimate IF – it’s still pretty fun. Just don’t expect to solve any cases in a hurry. – Periwinkle

(DEFINITELY DON’T) PEE IN THE POOL

*Crickets*

Absolutely nothing. Either:

A.) People don’t give a shit about this post (Likely)

B.) Nobody ever played this game (Less likely but still up there)

C.) Both (Most likely)

*Womp – Womp*

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

4.) A handlebar mustache (American Chopper)

5.) Blood of a Backstreet Boy (American Idol)

6.) An impossible to control Q-Tip (CSI)

Follow me on social media if thats your thing: https://linktr.ee/DarkCorners

Definitely not the reason I do this BUT if anything I write brings you joy and you felt like buying me a cup of coffee in return I would appreciate it wholeheartedly. https://ko-fi.com/colinsik

Thank you to The Dame With The Moth Wings for letting me pollute her space and tell Sunny that I already taught one of his precious Chinese crocodiles to play the harmonica.

American Idol: Songs of Sorrow

Being the newest staff member I may have not properly introduced myself or my history to long time readers. There are several unofficial accounts about how and why I ended up on Paradise and this is one of those stories. The following is all true and not based in fantasy or fiction at all.

“You are total rubbish. You’ve made a mockery of the human voice with your tone deaf crooning. Now bugger off.” Almost as soon as I had arrived to perform I was being whisked away by producers and security guards. A woman with a headset and a clipboard had her other hand on my back guiding me through the winding labyrinth of Fox Television studios. Disembodied hands handed me an American Idol water bottle and T-Shirt as they steered me towards a long hallway with a door to the outside already propped open. They said something about me owning none of the intellectual property or my own likeness on the show, pushing me through the fire escape door and closing it behind me. I looked around the back parking lot I was ushered out to with no fanfare. From the front of the building I could still hear tweens screaming for Ryan Seacrest even though he’s like 60 years old now. I could feel the rumble of the bass from inside the building. I looked straight ahead over a chain link fence and saw a Taco Bell. I needed comfort food with no delay. Little did I know that in less than a year I would be in Paradise. At the very least they wouldn’t ask me to sing.

I had tried out for American Idol and became a laughing stock. I had only did it to try to meet Gwen Stefani and realized last second that she is actually on that other singing show. I was destroyed by the judges. My audition video went viral. People threw snowballs and big gulps at me in the streets. Women would point and laugh as I walked past. I had destroyed my own life and it seemed that redemption was an impossible task. So I boarded a raft and set sail to Paradise Island. Where other than the suspicious looks I get from Foovay I am basically left to my own devices.

But one night as I was brewing up another batch of moonshine I like to make with the day’s unused chlorine reserves I heard a knock at the door. Nervous I was caught siphoning chemicals from the resort I peaked out the window slowly… but no one was there. My pet seal (and only friend) Cookie – barked apprehensively. I opened the door looking out into the bush, seemingly set ablaze by the setting sun’s crimson glow.

The porch empty, the twilight quiet with only the hushed sound of waves crashing on the beach. But at my feet lay a sapphire case. With three faces I knew all too well gracing the cover smiling smugly. Paula, Simon and Randy. I may have been done with American Idol but American Idol wasn’t done with me.

American Idol was developed by the now defunct Hot House Creations. Based out of the United Kingdom they were best known for developing the game, Gangsters: Organized Crime.

It was published by Codemasters – who is one of Britain’s oldest video game publishing companies. Mostly known for its racing titles.

The game isn’t really that bad. It’s your typical rhythm and timing game. Press X, O, [] or ^ when it reaches the middle of the screen. Time it to the music and you’ll do fine- press it too early and it’ll sound like Alvin & The Chimpmunks singing.

It’s full of songs that were monster hits back in the early 2000’s. Your typical 90’s boy bands, Britney, Christina. I stuck closer to adult alternative with Sixpence None The Richer and Al Green songs but as I advanced through the rounds it began to feel pretty weightless. The game doesn’t convey the feeling of urgency to perform well or the intoxication of competition. It just sort of feels like you’re pressing buttons listening to a song. Which is exactly what you’re doing, ofcourse. But the game does a poor job at distracting you from that reality.

As I played the game, blasting through each round (it only takes about a half an hour to complete the “career”) I began to sweat a bit. I was playing the game fine, Cookie barking applause after every perfect play through but it’s almost as if I could feel a current pulsing through me. Soon it became too much – it was like a bolt of lightning from the top of my head.

And then all went dark.

“Lord Winkle? Are you quite alright, Lord Winkle?” I opened my eyes and momentarily slunk back into the chair. “It’s me, Lord. You gave me quite a scare. It seems your Family Man Chair gave you a bit of a shock again!” The man dressed as a butler was fanning himself looking deeply relieved.

“My…Family Man Chair…?” I meeked out.

“Yes. The special chair you had NASA construct you to see what your life would have been had you not won American Idol and become the most powerful man on Earth. I believe you named it after the popular Nicolas Cage film, The Family Man.” The butler seemed to sigh and continue on, “Although I don’t know why you must tamper with such things. You do know the next time you use the Family Man Chair it will be the last. You will have to stay there forever and give up all of this” he says with a shrug and a wave around the small room.

“What’s ‘all this’?” I ask gesturing towards the small shed I was in. The butler laughs, “Your memory must be hazy from the chair.” As he opens the door of the shed to reveal a palace made of pure gold. With lush trees and flying limousines hovering over a traditional drive way. The lush green even more eye popping in contrast to the black sky and the Earth as a backdrop.”

“It’s the moon, sir. They built a glass dome around it and gave it to you. Surely you remember. Right after you liberated the North Korean people and secured world peace with your beautiful rendition of, “Love Fool” by The Cardigans?”

Dumbstruck, I find it impossible to answer as I remove the chair helmet and stagger towards the doorway gaping at the Earth in awe. “…The…Moon..?”

“The Moon, Sir. Ever since you performed, “Hit Me Baby One More Time” that fateful September night. You’ve accomplished everything you ever wanted to but unfortunately, I fear, at a great cost.”

“At what cost, do you mean?” I asked bewildered.

The butler frowned and seemed to contemplate his reply.

“ A terminal loneliness, my lord. You’re emotionally damaged. Although you’re physically fulfilled – men and women from both Earth and Mars have been eager to court you – it seems as though you have made a trade off. Despite all of your personal and professional accomplishments a paranoid insecurity has sunk in. You have convinced yourself that you are unloveable and your past experiences have only justified that self prejudice.”

“What do you mean?” Confused and overwhelmed I pleaded. My stomach turning at the stress.

“The last woman you fell for asked you to sing the Batman Forever soundtrack eight times in a row! The one before that? ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’ twelve times. I mean, people love your voice. Not you.”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo” I scream as I struggle to strap back into the Family Man Chair. “I must go back!”

“Sir, No!” The butler screams trying to unwrangle me from the chair. “You have eliminated world hunger!”

“I don’t care!” I yell flailing, hitting him in the back as he tries to lift me up.

“Lord Winkle. You mustn’t do this! There is world peace now! If you leave all of this will vanish”

“I don’t care! Leave me alone!”

“But they made your rendition of, ‘Genie In A Bottle’ America’s new national anthem!”

“Enough! I’m going back!”

The butler resigns winded. “Fine. If you must go I won’t stop you but I ask one favor of you. Just one.”

As I strap the chairs helmet to my head I give in. “What is it?”

“Before you leave… can you please sing that one Eagle-Eye Cherry song? Please, Lord Winkle. For me.”

I agree to.

“You are total rubbish. You’ve made a mockery of the human voice with your tone deaf crooning. Now bugger off.” As soon as I had arrived to perform I was being whisked away by producers and security guards. A woman with a headset and a clipboard had her other hand on my back guiding me through the winding labyrinth of Fox Television studios. Disembodied hands handed me an American Idol water bottle and T-Shirt as they steered me towards a long hallway with a door to the outside already propped open. They said something about me owning none of the intellectual property or my own likeness on the show, pushing me through the fire escape door and closing it behind me. I looked around the back parking lot I was ushered out to with no fanfare. From the front of the building I could still hear tweens screaming for Ryan Seacrest even though he’s like 60 years old now. I could feel the rumble of the bass from inside the building. I looked straight ahead over a chain link fence and saw a Taco Bell. I needed comfort food with no delay. Little did I know that in less than a year I would be in Paradise. At the very least they wouldn’t ask me to sing.

(DEFINITELY DON’T) PEE IN THE POOL*

The usual culprits had something to say about the game via Twitter

* I was served a seize and desist order for encouraging others to “pee in the pool”.

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

4.) A handlebar mustache (American Chopper)

5.) Blood of a Backstreet Boy (American Idol)

A New Video! My First Dislike! The Sweetest Beef Bowl

Hello Little Lights! I am still chasing that dream to be a VTuber content creator! So I decided to make a video about my favourite subject, Pokémon! Since I try to profile myself as a Seiso type character, which means it’s pure and wholesome! Okay I may have murdered a pokémon professor in the video because I did not get to nickname my sweet but I think I am still rather wholesome…compared to other VTubers.. I was kind of proud of this video.. It isn’t that great or flawless.. but I put a lot of work in it. Yet this was the video I got my first dislike on.

Sweet Ambition

In this new video that I really wanted to make when coming up with my channel,  I created the Pokémon Sweet version.  It’s one of the earliest Rom Hacks  I played on this channel , and despite its flaws is still one of the most unique and fun rom hacks that are out there!
It is just so cute and totally me!  The grass is pink! Well at least the low grass is! It is the pinkest pokémon game you’ll ever see! So of course I will replay this!

There have been some technical issues caused by me using a laptop. Which causes a slight lag between video layers so the lip sync isn’t that great! But luckily I think I might have found a solution for that in the next video!  Which will be awesome!  I just had so much fun making this video and I hope it shows! Like I said about my previous videos, this is really a dream that I now can begin to chase, so I would really appreciate it if you could interact with the video.  The last video did not reach my goal of 10 likes, but it got me 2 new subscribers!
So the goals for this video remain the same!

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor pink like button

-Get 10 Likes on this video… maybe 11 because of the 1 dislike I have gotten.
– Reach 25 followers. 

I really would like to get this thing started a bit and interaction is a great way to help out with that. Of course if you have any pro-tips on how to make cuter Twin Drills in VRoid Studio I am all ears as well!  I know it kind of looks like I am begging for likes.. and in a way I am.. but I really wish to chase these dreams.. and I consider you all friends that can help.
My real life friends would not though…so I am not really expecting you to interact either, I am just asking you to consider. Check out the video to make up your mind!

Future Videos

So now that I have given this a bit of thought, I have a pretty good idea on what my next videos will be.  My next video will be me doing a top 5. Most likely top 5 , Switch games coming out this year. I may change my mind about that though I am fickle.. but at least the concept of the video will be a  non gameplay video. Which is more of a socialish video!  A bit more edit friendly and that allows me to just talk a bit. It will be fun!   These will usually have some angle of actuality! Like a Tweet that hit me very hard , or an event that took place.  Stuff like that. 

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor super ghost and ghouls

The fourth video “series” is  not a let’s play but rather a review type  discussion of a game.  Usually from my past!  It will cover a game I played in the past, that is special to me.. or that is quite bad or straight up strange !  Think Angry Video Game Nerd meets VTuber, with some room for childhood classics as well.  The game I want to discuss first is Super Ghouls and Ghosts, since a sequel is finally coming out at the end of the month! It will be talking more about the game and less of a live reaction emulation. I am quite excited for this one!
After those two are done we will start my “routine”

-A Retro-Style Game Playthrough (Let’s play)
-A Pokémon Game Playthrough (Let’s Play)
-A Top 5/Pinkie Talk 
– A Game “Review”

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor anime girl dreaming

I am really determined to make my channel work so I am really excited to be making these videos!  I have found new communities to interact with and I think this allows me to grow as a content-creator. YouTube is a harder platform to master though! It lacks the community WordPress has and guiding people to my videos is a lot more involved.  So I apologise if these types of blog posts are obnoxious to you!  I am just trying to get this thing started and grow my channel! I promise you that after I reached a few milestones I will bother you less with it!  Video or text though it still is my content .. so if you are following me for me.. I hope you do not mind!

Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy my video! I will see you soon little lights!  Thanks for being such awesome community members! Shine on and keep being the awesome you that I love!    Oyasumi!

The Sound of Stupid!

Hello Little Lights, my old friends!  I have kept silent long enough! But there is a huge problem in our community! It is rotten to the core!  Rotten indeed.. you see our blogging scene is filled with fake fans!  Not just of anime who only watched Naruto, Dragon Ball Z , Sailor Moon and whatever else was on that guys list.. but also  fake gamers!  Like Naja who mostly plays Otome games or Irina who almost exclusively plays RPG’s .. or me.. who didn’t  denounce Pokémon Sword and Shield for having bad tree textures.  But our community is more rotten than that my little Lights… among us are FAKE OXYGEN FANS!

YOU are a fake fan.

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor ozone chemical formula
Ozone.. of course a true fan would know that

You see Oxygen is one of the most important elements in our nature and we need the dioxide variant to breath!  We also have the element in our water, as it is the O in H2O. 
But just because you breathe and need water doesn’t make you a real fan of oxygen!  You are all friggin ‘N(O2)rmies! Stay the fuck away from my air! Many of you do not even know of Ozone or its chemical formula , it’s O3.. that is a whole extra O!  If you have never thought about Ozone … you are a fake fan! You do not deserve O2 if you can not appreciate O3!

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor choking sheep
Choke you sheep!

I am sure many people will take this message out of context and say “Well but you need to breathe as well so if you breathe O2 as well you’re just a fake fan as all of us”. To that I say .. No I specifically said if you only like O2 and H20 … you can still like them.. but if these are the only oxygen combinations you are font of … you ARE a fake fan and you need to stay away from my element!  I am a true fun! Take all of those environmental hippies for example trying to reduce CO2 output! See O2!  That is just as much as the air we breathe! A true fan can see the beauty of these precious molecules while a fake fan.. trying to “save the earth” is misled by the trend .. and the popular stuff! Following public opinion like sheep! Baaah! Choke on that you N(O2)rmies!Now I hear what you are saying.. if O2 is healthier than NO2 .. why make a problem about it? It makes people happy right?!  Everyone should be happy?! Wrong!  Companies will take examples of your cause to reduce CO2 in the atmosphere and those who can appreciate it will get less content because you n(O2)rmies just want to breathe? Fudge that shit! You are ruining Oxygen for the true fans! 

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor tar lungs
Lungs of a true Oxygen fan!

Here is a take you might dislike… but it is the truth! I love oxygen and I need to preserve my Fandom!  Keep it pure for those who are really fans!  If you do not smoke you might just be to much of a casual to call yourself a true oxygen fan!  You see I am sick and tired of the fact that people say, “Oh I love breathing oxygen so much!, without knowing what oxygen really is and what it is in?!” People say cigarette tar is bad for example.. but let’s take a look at the chemical formula! C28H36S5O6(NH4)2 … .. So a little research into the deeper formula is very clear!  06! That is 3 times the O that all the normies enjoy! Six times!  You are not a real fan of oxygen if you do not know these chemical formulas… a real fan would at least take a look at what their beloved product means and research and see deeper meanings. N(O2)rmies just think smoking is bad.. because it takes your breath away .. but that 6 doesn’t lie!  It may be poisonous but a real fan would make a few sacrifices for their fandom!

Only for the Real fans

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor no underwater swimming
If you swim Under water.. you should drown!

Now I get that some people may not have the ability to hold such much scientific prowess as I just displayed, but that does not excuse you from just assuming!  You know you can google all these things! Yet if there is one thing I hate more than  the feeble minded and the lazy.. it is the people who say they are a fan of oxygen and then go diving or something… I am not talking about scuba diving.. but those posers that swim underwater while holding their breath!  If you do that as a hobby, you deny yourself from Oxygen.. and you simply do not breathe enough of it to be called a true fan! Why would you deny yourself the pleasure by having other hobbies beside breathing!  These people have their opinion about oxygen as well.. they will determine what gas mixture goes into that scuba tank eventually! While they are no where near as versed into breathing as me! You see .. I never stop breathing.. even if I have the hiccups I just keep breathing because.. I am a true fan!\

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor fast and the furious nos
Oxygen fans cars go Brrrr

N(O2)rmies also try to find love.. love that takes their breath away! If you pursue a love like that… you are also a fake fan! Kissing in general is not really great for how much oxygen you can enjoy either!  So a true fan knows they better not do that!  If you drive a car that is not powered by NOS you are a fake fan of oxygen!  Yes, everything gets better with extra oxygen! Can you imagine if this was about an anime fandom… saying you do not need to drive with NOS is like saying that you do not need to see Tetsuko no Tabi to be an anime fan! I mean come on! Everyone knows if you haven’t watched Tetsuko no Tabi you are a poser in the anime world.. so why would you drive your car around without NOS. 

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor no syringe sign
Lidocaine is not Oxygen!

Speaking of Nos.. people who choose a needle over gas at the dentist’s office are posers as well.  If you get a chance to use oxygen and you refuse.. You are a fake fan! Saying I don’t need those unhealthy varients of Oxygen is like saying.. I mostly play Otome games in the world of gaming… if you want to be the laughing stock of the oxygen world go ahead but don’t be surprised if people call you out for it! You act like a poser.. and just like we are allowed to call out False Valour, we are allowed to call out fake appreciation!  Think of the consequences these N(O2)rmies can do the the oxygen world. 

They will fill in polls that tell you they don’t want to buy NOS or use gas at the dentist office. So whatever garage you use, or dentist office might listen to those forms and stock up less NOS for us to enjoy!  That means that the true fan is being hurt because fake fans think It is not that necessary! They ruin the oxygen industry resulting in more and more casual oxygen products flooding the market with little to nothing interesting coming out for the true fan! Who can appreciate all facets of oxygen! We can not have that.. so I will ask people to start a petition for me.. to me. I have been banned from the site for having too many hot takes!  But the people can not silence me I will fight on! Together we can take oxygen back from the N(O2)rmies and claim back what we love! Yes they may die.. but fake fans deserve nothing less.

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Fake fans taint our polls!

I am better

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High Oyxgen Brain Takes

Even if you disagree with this take, you at least have seen that I am a special snowflake that knows more about Oxygen than you do, so whatever arguement you may bring in is worthless.. I have more knowledge of the fandom and therefore deserve higher status in the oxygen fandom. Segregation is important because it gives me self esteems. I enjoy a openly available entertainment product more than others therefore I am your superior, and inferior opinions will not weigh as heavy! So feel free to argue with me all you want.. but if you did not know the chemical composition of tar .. by head.. you will only prove my point that there is always someone more deserving of your oxygen than you.. and that person is me!  I am saying this because I want people to validate me and respect me.. for being brave and having enjoyed so much oxygen!  I also only watch dubbed anime! It is superior because dubs costs twice the oxygen!

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor altitude training
Priorities! Wear Pink and Oxygen Training!

My lung capacity is 7.8 liters of air.. which means I am equipped better than enjoy oxygen more than people who have lower lung capacity! Quantity is super important! So what you have a 9 to 6 job, three children and some friends you need to entertain..  your other priorities do not excuse you from being a fake fan!  I on the other hand did altitude training.. simply to increase my lung capacity! On my mothers birthday I was training at high altitude…. at my grandpa’s funeral.. I was receiving oxygen preprates. I could have fed my kid a sandwich after school but instead  I went street racing just so I could burn some NOS! It’s called priorities, people! A true fan always has their priorities  at their fandom never at something else..  One day I hope to become Vegetable so enjoying oxygen is the only thing I do.. only then will I achieve a status higher than I already have.. and if you have a status below me.. in the hierarchy I explained earlier.. do  not bother to disagree. I don’t react to   P(O2)sers.

Dumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumd

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor gatekeeperyu gio oh
Gatekeepers suck!

My sweet little lights, let it be known that this post in no way reflects how I truly feel. From the ground of my heart I hope that you thought the little text I wrote was dumb… because this … is how I see gatekeepers.  What they are spouting is THIS dumb.  No matter what you gatekeep for. The arguments are always the same and I tried to make these points stand out from my fake little rant as well.  It’s all empty semantics..and in a way anime can be just as needed as oxygen!  Anime or games are a form of entertainment, everyone needs entertainment. People are allowed to like the entertainment they enjoy and call themselves fans of it.  I am pretty sure there are a lot of games of throne fans that do not know how to spell Daenerys Targaryn, who the frick cares.   Just because you like something does not give you the right to ruin an entertainment product for others.

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I am happy that Summer is interested in my Pokémon posts even if she has little experience, I am not afraid that her love for mobile games might spawn a pokémon fishing game I have no personal interest in.. good for her and the people who would be into that stuff. The industry does not cater to your special snowflake; it caters to all of us.. Just like how trees and greens produce oxygen for all of us without bias so do the industries. Yes more people embrace the genre of Shonen and yes that might make people more likely to produce that stuff… but Gatekeeping will only make that worse.   If you tell a “normie” to fuck of from your fandom, that normie will have only watched Shonen.. you denied him or her that bridge from advancing. As a result he will just stick to Naruto or My Hero Academia, meanwhile the next generation comes in.. whom you also call fake and once again they never move past Shonen because people do not encourage them to!

This is not where that cycle ends because Naruto Fan Boy  of Generation 2.. never watched anything else so he recommends only the stuff you find labelled as “fake”   to a new generation. Generation 3 as a result lives in a shonen bubble.. because you alienated generation 2 through gatekeeping. So Gatekeeping enlarges the very concept you are trying to fight. You are not very intelligent if you gate-keep in my opinion. You cause segregation, between real and fake.. or as I prefer it Casual and Hardcore.  Say you succeed in your mission .. make the division officially acknowledge.. which side do you think will get the media?!  It’s not that casuals are not open for other anime.. that causes this divide.. it is you telling.. These people who only watch Naruto and Digimon are a different demographic than you are.  One demographic is severely larger than the other.. so if gatekeeping is successful.. which side of the coin will land face up?!

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#ItsforEveryone!

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor colonel sanders dragon ball

Anime is for everyone! Games are for everyone and Oxygen is for everyone! It’s all products we can get entertainment from. It’s great if you are able to think for yourself and follow your own opinions and make your own choices despite what is popular, I applaud that.. but that doesn’t make those people colouring inside the lines worth less than you.. at best they might be slightly less interesting or strong willed.. but that doesn’t make them undeserving of great content. I have a few Dragon Ball fans who mostly watch casual stuff.. but I enjoy discussing Toriyama’s work with them very much! They got so much insight.  Same goes for games. I know nothing of Otome games but I find Naja’s insights in them often much more cleverly written and inspiring than someone who only played “I love you Colonel Sanders” , but Fortnite and Minecraft and Breath of the Wild as well. Both can lead to great interactions .. but different. Both are super valid energies to enjoy! No one’s opinion or way to handle this is ever the correct way. We all have various wants and needs and that is why anime became so diverse in the first place.. if you invalidate others and map out what a true fan should be like.. you are only creating a new form of casual.

Don’t gatekeep! You will sound as dumb as me in this article! Don’t be like me! Yet if you feel you are more entitled to call yourself an anime fan, if you feel you are more of a gamer than others.. or if you consider yourself a superior in your fandom in any way… I do not mind if you unfollow me!  We are all equals and no matter if it is books, anime games or even lewd drawings we are all just seeking entertainment, and we are not you so we do it in our own way! Let everyone do their thing in their own way!  This opens up the argument that you destroy other people’s hobbies as your entertainment and we should let you, but in that case I think you dear gatekeeper are just a shitty person! I rather hang out with the fake fans then! But I swear to you guys! I am a real fan!

Told ya I was real!

Reptilicus – sort of a review

Who is that boy that is trying to clean the pool in that Periwinkle suit?! And why does he keep inviting people to pee into the pool? Sunny wondered about this and for the first time in a while he decided to stay in his hut near the resort.. to keep track of this strange guy! Sunny had spend many days on the beach fishing so it felt good to finally be back in his hut again.. there was also a tv! When he turned it on, he was fascinated by huge monsters… and he completely forgot about the weird pool boy!

A Strange Suggestion

The PLAN (is that the sound of Gods laughing) was to watch a couple of kaiju movies courtesy of TubiTV which has a plethora of them for free – let them pick me a random two movies – call it a Creature Double Feature and then review. 

The first movie I chose was Reptilicus because you simply have to find and choose a movie before TubiTV starts suggesting kaiju movies at you. Searching under monster, kaiju or horror nets you zero or completely unrelated stuff. They need to work on their search function. 

Anyway, I searched for and watched some old kaiju stuff a whiles back and Reptilicus was one they suggested and I thought it looked interesting. 

Movie poster via Wikipedia

First though, I should warn you that I’m a bit of a science nerd and that I find kaiju movies hilariously funny. So that’s where I’m coming from, most of the time. I expected Reptilicus, released in 1961, to be a prime example of horrible special effects, bad acting, worse script and beyond shaky science. 

I was wrong. 

Partially, at least. The special effects were really bad. I mean, REALLY bad. 

screencap from TubiTV

The acting actually was not bad at all. Two characters really stood out to me for different reasons. 

The comedic relief. Dirch Passer is hilarious as Peterson. He delicately remains on the good side of over exaggerated big dumb farmer hired to clean and look after the lab at night. 

screencap from TubiTV

But the one who really impressed me was Poul Wildaker (the Americanized version of his name, I don’t trust myself to try and get the Dutch letters on here so I’ll stick with the way he was credited in the American version of the film). He portrays the Dutch scientist, Dr. Peter Dalby – and he forever endeared himself to me in this one scene where he stands up to the (clearly American) war mongering general sent by some International governing body who wants to bomb the creature. I mean, check this out.

screencap from TubiTV – Don’t blow him up, he’ll regenerate and we’ll have even more of them! (You idiot)

The doctor then passes out – he’s just had a heart attack and apparently is a bit delicate (!) – which is what triggers the brilliant idea to sedate the creature as the Dr. was now sedated and resting. 

But really, no one EVER stands up to the American Warmonger General who wants to drop the bomb. I loved it. You tell ‘em Doctor!!! 

Idiot Americans, Heroic Dutch and Destroyed Danes

Wikipedia tells me that the first version of the film was considered unshowable to American audiences. I bet. And there was some sort of lawsuit over the whole thing, no information about what that was about, but I can guess. Americans don’t like to come off as the idiots we are. We want to be the heroes, and in this kaiju movie, the Dutch are the heroes. I loved it. Anyway, there was finally a version put out that our delicate little American egos could handle. 

Another thing that endeared the movie to me was watching Reptilicus stomp Copenhagen. It was just a nice change from Tokyo and New York City. 

screencap from TubiTV

The science was shaky, of course. Reptilicus grew his whole self from a bit of tail. That sounds slightly kinky now that I read it. Some animals can do that, of course, like the Starfish the Dr. uses as examples and it is so true that Reptilicus is the most complex animal to (not) grow his entire body back. And let me tell you from experience that sedating a reptile is not easily done. They have very different metabolisms from mammals. Drugs work differently if at all. The main problem is they have not just slower metabolisms, but the ability to slow their metabolism even more if something is wrong. Actually killing a reptile with sedation is quite an undertaking with a perfectly normal snake, never mind a lizard of that size. 

Reptilicus has a bit of a cult following, it turns out, as the first, last and only Danish kaiju movie, made in cooperation with American International Pictures. So if you check the Wikipedia entry you’ll find bits and bobs of this picture have popped up in all sorts of places, from Green Acres to South Park. 

But who knows…maybe he’ll strike again…since the warmonger blew his foot off and then left it behind in the first round of attacks.  He grew back from a bit of tail to begin with after all. 

Screencap fromTubiTV – whoopsie, we missed a piece…

All Vroom And No Boom Makes Periwinkle A Dull Boy.

The pool remains unskimmed. Banana leafs float around aimlessly in the usually meticulous reserve. The brush and lawn overgrown. Visitors have even reported a man late at night somewhere on the edges of the island, arms outstretched in front of him, knees bent as if he were sitting on a bike making guttural puttering noises, only interrupted when he begins bending his right wrists and wailing, “VROOM VROOM” at onlookers while slowly plodding along knees bent and arms still out.

SUNDAY

It all began weeks ago when doing my usual rounds on the beach. A walk on a warm, windy night when suddenly my eyes were averted towards the dark shore amid a thunderous boom. A storm rolling in off the coast I mused, as the wind swept through my hair, nearly blinding me with loose sand. I held my arm over my eyes trying to get a better glimpse at the orbs of light racing towards me from the shore. This was no ship. It was moving too fast. It was too loud. I looked to my left and then to my right to see if anyone else was around to witness this vulgar display of force. But I realized I was alone. But I wouldn’t be for long.

As the lights and roaring thunder neared I realized it was no storm. No angry maiden of the high seas, no sea monster nor ghost ship. It was a motorcycle. An American Chopper. Treading on the surface of the ocean like Jesus on steel wheels.

Upon my horrific realization I spun around and began running back towards the resort but the Chopper ran ashore too fast, leaving pure glass tire trails on the beach sand in its wake. Knowing it was no use I turned around to confront my faceless enemy as the phantom cycle drove right through me and disappeared. Leaving only a copy of American Chopper still warm in my hands. Singed on the edges. Both Paul Teutal and his son Paulie’s faces beckoning me to begin my career as a motorcycle designer.

For the first time in my life I hadn’t chose a game.

It chose me.

MONDAY

American Chopper for the PlayStation 2 was released on June 15th 2006. Developed by Creat Studios based out of St. Petersburg and Published by Activision.

The game itself is based on the popular reality tv series, American Chopper created by The Discovery Channel. American Chopper followed a custom motor cycle shop that was run by a father-son team (Paul and Paul Jr. Teutul) in the early 2000’s. They had gained national recognition for their skillfully crafted custom motorcycles and were also reality tv darlings for their constant father/son power struggles and explosive arguments over creative direction.

While the show was a critical and commercial success for a majority of its television run little can be said about the brands misadventures in the video game industry.

American Chopper is the bastard child of some board room hack that honestly should be put in prison.

The games plot begins with you being the new hire at OCC. Being low man on the totem pole you are required to do everything both Paulie and his father ask of you. The voice acting even though done by the real Teutals is painfully sad to hear. I have never heard more unenthused men play themselves in a video game. It’s almost as if they had played the game before they did the voice acting for it and were ashamed to be associated with this crime against humanity.

As the plot moves forward you go from mundane tasks like picking up spare parts for their bikes to basically motorcycle warfare with rival biker gangs. Even after all of this – pushing and kicking other bikers head on into the paths of Semi Trucks and murdering everything in your site upon completion of the mission you are generally only greeted by a small cut scene of Paul Sr still being disappointed with you.

I could be facing back to back life sentences for the things you people have ordered me to do. The least you could do is be nice to me.

Yup. That bad.

More frustrating than the lack of recognition or approval from your employers is the general control scheme as a whole. I have never rode a chopper. Or any large motorcycle for that matter. But I can safely assume that the turn radius of any sort of motorcycle is better than say I don’t know THE TITANIC? The bike handling is so ridiculous that it feels as if you’re trying to navigate a freighter through narrow city streets at stupid speeds. Almost every mission is timed and the learning curve is brutal.

One mission is particularly devastating as it requires near perfection at high speeds for a really long stretch of time. Slipping and sliding in between traffic, hard curves, and friendly bikers that constantly crash into you (which is held against you) – the mission itself has you white knuckling your controller for nearly 15 minutes straight. And it was then, friends that your boy, Periwinkle had reached a revelation.

TUESDAY

All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy. All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy. All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy. All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy. All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy. All Vroom and no boom makes Peri a dull boy.

WEDNESDAY

Has it been days? Weeks? A feverish trance. At some point while playing the unbelievably redundant game it hit me. The pattern. Go to the motorcycle shop. Get yelled at. Get told what to do. Do it. Go to the motorcycle shop. Get yelled at. Get told what to do and do it again. Over and over. I began looking up to the Tuetals. Was I a Tuetal? Is Paul Sr. My dad? Handlebar mustaches are pretty cool.

THURSDAY

I am not a Tuetal. I am something more. I am a motorcycle.

FRIDAY

Like a dream upon wakening. Before I open my eyes I lay silently with my eyes closed. I can sense someone around me watching. I hear the waves crashing on the shore. I feel the warm sun beating on me and someone ask aloud, “Is he going to be okay?”

I open my eyes. Resort visitors surround me looking stunned and relieved. A doctor is kneeling next to me his back turned rummaging through his physician bag. I ask him weakly what happened to me? He turns to face me. It’s a motor cycle in a doctors coat.

SATURDAY

I watch the screen as the credits roll and enjoy the only good part of the game. A Thornley song. (Shoooout ouuut to the Canadian readers. Big Wreck fan for life). I haven’t showered or ate in a week. I’ve lost weight. A weak five o’ clock shadow barely and the smell of piss. I must have soiled myself. I eject the disc and shut the PlayStation off. It is a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon on Paradise. The monster slayed – the hex broken- the trance lifted. I place the cursed disc back in its case (still hot to the touch) and I make my way back to the beach where it all began.

I stand at the edge of the water looking into a seemingly endless blue. I toss the case back into the ocean as the water sizzles. A strong gust of air blows off the ocean through my hair. I smile. – Periwinkle

PEE IN THE POOL

It was hard to find anyone that had actually *Played* the game itself but it almost universally was assumed it was terrible. Here are some interactions from my boy, Kyle, Pinkie trying to defend the motorcycle game genre, and me trying to save Heather’s fiancé from a similar fate that found me.

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients (In order of how enjoyable.)

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

4.) A handlebar mustache (American Chopper)

Dear Periwinkle! The manager would like to remind you to please not encourage guests to play in the pool? Perhaps create a Hot-Takes-Tub instead?! Sunny will be asked to clean the mess while you recover from the Vroooms! Much love from Manager San!