Princess Pinkie’s Fantastic Five: Spin-Off Pokémon Games

Hear ye hear ye , Princess Pinkie is here with a new Pokémon Post

Greetings to my Loyal Subjects and Island Guests. As you may or may not know I am kind of into a little franchise called Pokémon.  THE game that defined the collectable creature catching genre.  However there are so many great Pokémon games that do not follow that formula. This post should go live on the day New Pokémon Snap is launched which is a great example.. but what are some other great Pokémon games to play if you are looking for something besides the 8 generations of goodness?!

Let’s discuss a few games I love to bits! Like a top five.. but without any particular order OR even saying these are THE best.. if you have your own opinion that is fine. You could have had the same opinion as a Unicorn-Duck Princess.. but whatever suits you works as well!

Pokémon XD: Gale Of Darkness

Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness - Episode 44: Eldes - YouTube

Released in August 2005 a sequel to the game Pokémon Coliseum was launched.  Both games were sort of in between the classic Pokémon Stadium Games and the Main Line titles. When I played this game for the first time I was not sure if I liked it. It has some very odd music choices that while great do not always seem fitting. Like using Wild West styled songs for a forest song, while using a desert sounding song for a western town. With some very odd battle themes as well and all in all being a bit clunky. You can not travel the world but use a map system to bounce between several locations that have a few static screens you can interact with. You know those kinds of static backgrounds that they used in Resident Evil and Final Fantasy 7 through  10.  Static camera allows you to walk around, interact with a few items and such. It felt slightly cramped and very limited when we compared it to what we were used to. Catching Pokémon was also very limited to so called Shadow Pokémon.. and later a few places where you could place some food.

Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness review: Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness - CNET

What makes this game so great however.. and it’s prequel at that is the amazing double Battles. Everything is set around Double Battles and the  Shadow Pokémon feature. There are some wild Pokémon you can catch.. but they are nothing compared to the Shadow Pokémon. More powerful versions of pokémon with their heart closed off. You have to steal them from their evil owners and befriend them so you can purify them. The really good Pokémon to use in this game all start out as Shadow Pokémon and are very miserable showing you this game doesn’t mess around! The double battles are a lot harder and really require you to strategise a bit. The story of the game is also pretty fun with some very colourful enemies. Micheal the protagonist isn’t as much of an Edgelord as the guy in Coliseum was which makes him a lot more charming. Seriously the other guy looks like he is about to whip out his Beyblade or something. 

Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness Gameplay - YouTube

The Plot of this game revolves around an evil team named Cipher wanting to weaponise Pokémon,  and  will have you face off against the legendary Shadow Lugia. You really feel like you are on a goal to stop that evil team , rather than on a journey to become the very best. This character has much more tangible goals and while that sometimes does mean competing in a tournament or such, it isn’t the main goal. This time you are liberating shadow pokémon from their cruel owners and trying to nuse them back to health trough double battles and love. Which gives it a nice fresh and more dire tone. This game offers a good challenge, a nice story and is just different enough..but also similar enough to pokémon to be somewhat of a safe choice if you want to play something else.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (Red) Rescue Team (Dx)

For many years now, over 20 we have been able to experience how it was to be a Pokémon Trainer, we dabbled in several forms of this  With many trainer variants,  sometimes we would just photograph them, while other times we yell at a Pikachu trying to make him listen when we secretly know he won’t.  However we have very rarely been given the occasion to BE a Pokémon.  Released on my Birthday in 2005 came a game called Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team for GBA.. or Blue Rescue Team for Nintendo DS. By then I did not have a DS yet so I was given a Red Rescue Team.  A pokémon game that lets you play as ….a Pokémon, not only that.. this Pokémon is REALLY You.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team Release Date, Videos and Reviews

When you start the game you get asked a few questions and that determines which Pokémon you are.  For example stuff like what do you like to do when you get home after school, how many friends do you have. Back then I would be a Squirtle, when I replayed it a few years later I was a Cubone and nowadays I am either a Squirtle or a Bulbasaur. Yet there are a few options like Charmander , Pikachu the other Gen 2 and 3 Starters and even Meowth or Psyduck!  I haven’t ever gotten it though.  In later games I was a Skitty though, so I could not have been far off. Either way based on your personality you get assigned a Pokémon body, now you have to find a way to get your original body back and you do that by helping other pokémon.  This can be various tasks like helping a Butterfree Mamma get her baby caterpie, or you explore a dungeon to find Pidgey’s favourite kind of berry. 

bol.com | Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX - Switch | Games

In a top Down zelda-ish looking style you can walk through a dungeon with a buddy (mine was Bulbasaur)  bonk some pokémon on the head and learn some special moves to use against them as well.  The dungeons are randomly generated and different each time, whatever task you choose to do in the maze determines how many floors there are before you exit, you earn money from rescuing stuff, upgrade your team ranking, upgrade your pokémon and if you are lucky recruit some new friends. The first one just felt so heartwarming and sweet and while the dungeon running can get a bit tedious in later stages it is just a sweet and delightful adventure to embark upon.  It is very much worth it. Nowadays the Nintendo Switch has a remake of the game that improves on a few things so the cuteness has not ended! There is also some sequels but to be fair, the emotionally journey of this one is way stronger! It made me cry and the other games did not even get close!

Pokémon Puzzle League

Pokémon Puzzle League | Nintendo 64

Released for Nintendo 64 in september of 2000 this game is the only one on the list that pretty much has nothing to do with Pokémon..but it’s still REALLY REALLY good! I could have given this spot to games like Pokken or Detective Pikachu or even Pokémon Trading Card Game 2 for Gameboy Colour, but  for all of those I have a few gripes, so they wont come further than being honourable mentions here.  What put Pokémon Puzzle League ahead of them is that it is the best game of it’s kind on N64.  A competitive puzzle game in the style of Poyo Poyo or Tetris Attack… in fact this IS Tetris Attack. The latter game was my favourite puzzle game on  SNES and Pokémon Puzzle League is it’s N64 counter part. However instead of vague creatures from the Yoshi universe we get Pokémon. Which makes the backgrounds all the more enjoyable for me.

Pokémon Puzzle League | Video Games & Apps

The story/adventure mode let’s you battle against rivals and gym leaders alike and is the only game the Pokémon anime ever got.. except for a fan game I guess. Here you can just have fun against the classic theme rocket including their theme song, you can puzzle away to reveal screenshots from the show and everyone you face is as faced in the show. As a kid this was great. Gameboy Sabrina was waaaaaaay different from her anime counterpart. Team Rocket lacks Jesse and James and Brock and Misty where they throw away characters. Not here…this game is great to play alone but is even better when you play it with friends and the threshold of this game is zero.  You can fire it up, play a match and turn the console off again. Perfect between home(work)  and dinner.  It’s light cute and very nicely animated with a very cute tranquil  music list.  It is just Tetris Attack.. but it is my favourite version of a game I already love.. so it earns it’s spot on this list!

Pokémon Pinball

2017 Posts – DeadPark

Released on April 14 1999 this is the oldest and perhaps strangest title on my list.  A Pinball game? Does it seriously beat out Pokken or even Pokémon Go?!  Yes! Quite so! I am not a fan of Pokémon Go persé, I enjoy casually checking Pokémon sometimes but I do not like the business model attached to it. I really dislike how it shines so much less special, I really dislike how it takes up so much box space with all special variants.  So no… it won’t be on my list, the game I pick might be a lot more simple and less visually pleasing but boy oh boy does it have some charm.  I loved Pokémon Pinball. It was a gameboy colour game with a rumble feature which was totally unique.  It allowed you to play two machines, Red and Blue and you could travel across routes , catch pokémon and even evolve them by just flapping some paddles around. It was such a creative take that worked really well.   

≥ Pokemon Pinball GameBoy || €9.99 - Games | Nintendo Game Boy -  Marktplaats.nl

The idea of using a Pokéball as a Pinball (or is it a Pinball-ball?)  already is kinda clever and they get so much mileage out of it.  You first play the board to travel to one of the many routes in the game, then make a Pokémon Appear that is indeed living in that route. Then you can  hit it five times to create the word Catch, after which hitting it with your Pokéball-Pinball-ball  will allow you to capture it. Now you can rinse and repeat OR level up the Pokémon so it can evolve. If you do well you can even make it all the way to catching Mewtwo and beating the game.. but you need some serious pinball skills for that.  This does make the game a bit weird to play though.

Pokemon Pinball (GBC) - Gameplay - YouTube

Evolution has to happen in one Pinball Session and a lot of the catches are behind an RNG element like the routes selected, the pokémon that spawns on those routes. This is fine at the beginning and it pleased kid Pinkie very much but when I recently tried it again I felt some deep frustration with it!  If you make it further in the game you will need certain pokémon, for example let’s say machop. However instead of machop three other pokémon can spawn as well.. and even IF you find Machop you will need to level it up twice without losing all your pokéball-pinball-balls  which means you have to be quite good at Pinball. On a device with limited battery life and visibility., which can be a frustrating task. However if you just play this game a very sessions at a time and consider the Pokémon caught a bonus to your pinball experience rather than something you have to complete in  a short amount of time this game is  really great and young me spend many many hours on this title that was actually owned by my sister.

Pokémon Ranger Shadows of Almia

Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia Partners

To this day I still haven’t found a copy of Pokémon Conquest to play and the DS era of Pokémon was the one I missed out on the most.  One title I did get the pleasure of playing was Pokémon Ranger 2: Shadows of Almia and it might be my favourite Pokémon game that is not a main-line Pokémon game. I mean it’s friggin adorable! It’s so good!  The graphics are cute , the characters are adorable and it’s one of the few games that does really force you to use your stylus that came with the DS… because Pokémon Ranger was all about drawing loops of friendship around some pokemon. For those who don’t know what that means, this is a game in which the main gameplay has you draw circles around moving objects!

tags:pokemon ranger - listhearts.com

I know that sounds super lame, and to an extent it is kinda lame, especially later in the game, but this game is dressed SOOOO well it doesn’t matter. It is kinda fun to see all the special attacks a Pokémon can take to prevent being wrapped up in a laser lasso that makes it more friendly towards you. This game has elements of the old Pokémon games in that you have a world to explore.. and each time you catch something or get a new mission you open up more of the world. In a way it feels like a puzzle game, because drawing loops is mostly used to get a new friend towards a place where you can use their effect.  Draw circles around a magnemite and it can turn on the power, draw circles around a squirtle and it can put out a fire, but you only have so much energy if your Lasso breaks, you lose your job and lose the game.  It’s kinda interesting how much milage they get out of drawing circles!

Touch the bidoof : MandJTV

So the gameplay is odd but satisfying but what really makes this one of the greatest Pokémon Products ever is the writing. This game is super funny!  Sometimes intended, sometimes less intended. “Touch the Bidoof”  is said to the ranger and I am already laughing, or how about the time that the evil team is using  an ice pokémon to make snow cones and not knowing what to do with the player character, they offer her a snow cone as well.  Your rival failing at everything he does but still keeping his ego up was incredibly funny as well and there is just this great vibe of work ethic in this game that makes it feel wholesome. Everyone is living with their Pokémon and working with them and it offers a very interesting peek into the non battling side of Pokémon. The music is great as well! It lacks the endgame and the “community”  that other Pokémon games get but by arceus is this game the gem!  Skip out on the first one though that one isn’t half as good! Just play this one you’ll have a great time……and perhaps some stylus burn from drawing so many circles. 

Pokemon Ranger: Shadows of Almia :: Full Walkthrough

Those are five fantastic games that are very much Pokémon Franchise games that aren’t  part of the main line!  Of course the original Pokémon snap was amazing as well but I felt that would be such a cheap choice!  Soon I will be able to tell you if New Pokémon Snap is any good!  Until then tell me which Pokémon “spin-off” games you really like!  While you do I will take a nap and wait for my game to arrive, because remember folks. Friendship is Magic, but Dreams are even more Wonderful! Oyasumi!

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Rp - Sleeping Dorms - Wattpad

That Time The Pink Panther Reincarnated As …

A little while ago Sunny dropped a package at Pinkie’s castle. Hastily wrapped up with some kelp and in the sand near Pinkie’s private beach and flight dock he spelled… Is this okay?! In seashells on the beach. Pinkie opened the package and examined it. It was a story about an already fictional character going on an adventure. The Princess was reminded of her own Dragon Ball stories, or the brainstorm of what would have happened if Ash was a girl. However this was even more adorably retro! So not only was Sunny allowed to post this story! She would really hope she would see more of these posts in the future! So please enjoy this brand new adventure of an old familiar face!

You absolutely must watch and listen to the theme first. Badum badum…badum…badum badum badum bababa baaaaaaaaa dadadada…

The Pink Panther was having a casual stroll down the street, when a glint of gold caught his eye. There – it was a lamp! Rather like the lamp from Alladin’s Tale. Very well then, thought Pink, I shall give it a rub. 

Rather than a genie, the lamp produced a smarmy ad voice touting the advantages of taking a job as a lamp genie! Intrigued, Pink climbed on into the lamp and soon re-emerged dressed as a genie. He approached a number of people offering them wishes, but no one seemed to believe him. The last grouch kicked the lamp – with Pink still in it – out into the street. Still in the lamp Pink ducked and dodged as best he could but a big delivery van came roaring seemingly from nowhere and SPLAT the lamp was totally flattened. Pink had a moment of utter shock as his world became flat, and then he passed out. 

He wasn’t sure how much later he awoke. He was in a rather grand bedroom with rich appointments, sprawled over a bed with satin sheets but strangely enough, he was still wearing his genie outfit. Even stranger, he realized, sitting bolt upright and catching a full view of himself in a mirror across from the bed – he was… he was a woman? A human woman? He stared at himself in the mirror. The only thing that looked faintly familiar were his golden eyes, and that damn genie outfit. Only now instead of hanging fashionably loose over his slender pink silhouette, it was bulgingly full with a lush female body. Long, pink curls cascaded from her head down her back and sides. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. So did the reflection. Undeniably him. Her. It was all most confusing. 

A man appeared at the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel and a smirk. “Well. Made yourself comfortable, have you? The costume is great but I’m afraid there’s a bit too much of it. I hope you brought your own music? I’d like for you to dance for me and strip slowly.” The man approached, dropping his towel to display an impressive expanse of belly covered in a coarse coat of hair, which continued down his legs and arms and probably his back as well.

Pink shrieked like a girl – well, what else? – and jumped up off the bed to run around it, putting the bed between himself and the man. Glancing over his shoulder he saw a sliding glass door that opened into a small balcony. The lights of a vast city spread below. Strange sights, a ferris wheel, a huge roman sort of villa, a smaller version of the Eiffel Tower picked out in lights, a pyramid! Where was he? When was he!? 

“Frisky, eh? Well, I don’t mind a bit of play. Now come here you little genie!” The man rolled up off the bed and crouched, then made a dash towards Pink. Pink squealed again and teetered on ridiculously high heels to the balcony. He peered over the railing to see a glorious pool surrounded by lounge chairs and a tiki bar. There was also a raised dais where a strangely attired man leapt around from side to side, shouting on a mic now and then. Lights flashed and whirled and dozens of beautiful women of all ages danced, drank, and swam attired in tiny swim suits and formal gowns.  Every thing sparkled. Pink found himself dazzled and when he could hear the man panting behind him he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and threw himself over the railing. 

A mighty splash. Screams. And then laughter as the crowd decided it must be some sort of stunt. Especially as Pink was quite unharmed as he began to swim with all the dignity he could muster towards the side of the pool. As he pulled himself out he looked down and realized that he might as well be naked as the see through harem costume molded itself to his ridiculously luscious curves. 

Girls all around him started to pull and push and undulate against him. One bold lass even grabbed his face and dared to kiss. With tongue! Staggered, Pink ducked his head as if shy and raced for the bar. Once he was safely seated on the barstool, he spun himself towards the bartender, who was wearing a dark blue suit. 

“What can I get for you, darling?”

Pink hesitated. He was quite sure he had no pockets in this outfit. He gulped. She gulped. Confusing.

The bartender made a dismissive wave, “Don’t worry about money. All included. Just give me a room number and I’ll put it on the check.”

Pink thought about it. Then held up two fingers. The bartender eyed him.

“Don’t talk much do you?”

Pink shook his head. And held up 3 fingers. 

The bartender chuckled, and poured out a shot glass from a bottle labeled “3 Fingers Tequila” and shoved it across the bar. With a delighted smile, Pink raised the glass to his lips and swallowed. For a moment he thought his throat might actually be on fire. He puffed some breath at the bartender to see if flames shot out. The bartender gave him a funny look, then refilled the glass.  Pink felt a delicious soothing warmth fill his belly, despite the breeze and his wet clothing. The second shot went down much smoother.

Ten shots later…

Pink staggered around the crowd, giggling and stumbling but as much of the crowd was doing the same, no one seemed to mind. The strange man on the raised dias stopped the horrific loud but rhythmic noise and spoke for a few minutes but the words hardly made sense to Pink whether because of a language gap or the excessive amount of system in his, eh, her system, well. 

A bouncy blond woman grabbed Pink by the arm. “You’re just the kind of girl we’re looking for! Do you want to be famous and be able to tell all your friends to watch for you on the MTV broadcast?” she asked cheerily. 

Always agreeable, Pink nodded. 

“Great!” she gushed as she handed him a white t-shirt. “Put this on.” 

Hoping it might be a little warmer than the frail wisp of top to the genie costume, Pink quickly peeled that off and pulled on the t-shirt. Oh! It was warmer!

The perky woman pushed and pulled and herded him and among a group of giggly girls also wearing white t-shirts, towards the raised platform. She lined them all up on top of the platform, to the cheers of the audience. One by one she went down the line asking for their names, ages, and hometown until she got to Pink, who just smiled and shrugged. She said, “Oh a shy one!” into the mic, but leaned in and asked, “You ARE over 21, right?” Pink nodded vigorously. Although really, he wasn’t sure at the moment. 

The woman stepped away and then suddenly from nowhere and everywhere water began hitting the girls on the platform! Most of them squealed with delight and began to dance around, pulling their shirts down to show off their breasts and jumping up and down to accentuate how perky they were. Pink stood stock still in shock for a moment, but then began to scrabble up the curtains behind him to get away from the water! He had quite enough of being wet today, and the t-shirt was almost warm compared to the genie outfit! 

Burly men in black suits came running at him. Pink scrabbled harder and jumped, landing on the top of the dias with the weird man and those tables and things. There was an almighty crash as the whole thing went over. The lights went out. The music stopped. The water continued to fall, but the screams were less of delight than of fear. Pink ran through the darkness until he found a door. He opened it to find lights and a hallway that he ran down as fast as he could stumble in the golden high heels. At the end was an elevator so Pink jumped inside and hit all the buttons, and then sat down on the floor to take those wretched heels off his suffering feet. He was still struggling with the straps when the elevator began to stop at every floor and open for a moment.

On one floor two men dressed in sparkly white suits stepped on, accompanied by a white tiger.

When they stepped off another man with black wavy hair in another spangled white suit – a jumpsuit – got on. He peered at Pink sitting on the floor rubbing his feet. “Don’t tell anyone you saw me honey” he said in a sultry tone before he got off at another floor. 

Then six blue men got on the elevator. Pink stood and looked around at them. They looked back. He smiled. They smiled back. It looked very strange with their blue faces to see such white teeth. Pink shrugged. They shrugged and smiled. They looked around at each other and nodded. When the elevator opened again, a blue man took each of Pink’s elbows and escorted him off the elevator!

They took him down long dim halls and down some stairs. He could vaguely hear applause, laughter, and bursts of music now and then through the thin walls. The blue men took him into a room with mirrors and tables down one side and all sorts of clothes on racks on the other. A couple of the men handed him a dark blue skin tight outfit. The fabric was strange to Pink’s touch, but it looked nice and cozy so he slipped into it and gave the men a grateful smile and a nod before he walked to the door. 

Suddenly, one of the men blocked his way, and kindly but firmly directed Pink to a chair. Well. Really. S/he was rather tired. Pink sat. The blue men bustled about until someone outside banged on the door and said “Two minutes”. That’s when two of the men took Pink by the elbows again and they all rushed up a narrow hall, up a few steps, and out onto a stage! The blue men bowed and the audience clapped and Pink stood dumbstruck by the spotlight. 

The blue men began rushing about and as they did, one or two of them would herd Pink this way or that way until it was clear Pink was part of the act but he had no idea, uh, she had no idea, oh dear. There was a row of drums in a big circle and as Pink ran from one to the next each time s/he touched a drum suddenly a blue man came to life behind it and as they performed a drum roll colored liquid and light of some kind shot up into the air. It was dazzling and beautiful and more than a little scary for Pink! Finally the men danced and whirled Pink until they whirled her right off the stage. She stumbled down the stairs and sat at the bottom as the audience applauded. Her head was still spinning. Where on earth was she? Surely this wasn’t any heaven Pink had ever heard of.

Pink heard music again. But this song was strangely compelling. It drew her from the stairs, down another hallway, and through a door that led back into the lush white and gold rooms filled with people. People of all ages, dressed in all sorts of clothes and colors, but they all seemed to be attached to machine that dinged and booped and pinged and spun wheels and flashed lights and shouted out nonsense phrases like “I’ll be back” and “I’d like to buy a vowel” and now and then there was the sound of coins falling and everyone would yell at once. Still, Pink could hear the music and she followed it until she finally found a door that led outside.

She walked down a long elevated outdoor hall, like a Greek palace, over a garden and water until she somehow came out onto a dingy city street. Lights and noise assaulted her as people pushed and shoved past laughing and carrying drinks and pointing at all the lights. 

And the lights! Big lights, small lights, lights that flashed and seemed to run one after another and change colors. Names in lights, pictures in lights, entire little movies on some signs. A fountain gushed in time to music and lights and people oohed and ahhed and still Pink could hear the faint strains of the haunting song that had drawn her outside.

She walked down the street, her eyes filled with wonder – as indeed were those of many alongside her. A big double decker bus whooshed past her and puffed to a stop. Pink could hear the music somehow inside. She stepped up and a man stepping out handed her a yellow card, saying “there’s a few hours left to this pass. You can use it.” as he smiled and walked away.

Pink held out the yellow card and the bus driver pointed at a strange machine. Someone reached past her and ran their little card through the slot. There was a beep and the bus driver nodded and they went and sat down. Pink slid her card through the slot and the machine beeped and the bus driver nodded and said, “Move on back, hon, other people need to get on.”

Wandering towards the back Pink heard the music again. A young-ish man with shaggy blond hair nodded in time to music. He wore a yellow shirt, and yellow shorts, and a yellow hat. He was as sunny yellow as Pink was pink! Pink sat down beside him and he smiled and nodded. She nodded back and saw then the wires going into his ears from a box in his hand. The music was coming from there. Pink looked intently at the box, and the young man smiled and took one of the wires out of his ear, offering it to Pink. She tucked a pink curl behind one ear and put the little thing in her ear.

She heard, “Welcome to the new age, to the new age, welcome to the new age, to the new age…” Her golden eyes flew open wide and she looked at the young fellow in yellow. He grinned and patted her on the knee. 

“It’s going to be okay, Pink. You’ll see.” 

Pink blinked, nodded, and for the first time since the truck hit the lamp, relaxed.

This or That: Who is the Better Shonen Protagonist?

Hear Ye Hear Ye Princess Pinkie has returned with a New Anime Post

Salutations Dear Island Guests and Loyal Subjects, which I hope are one and the same. Shonen is probably the most accessible genre in anime. The desire to be more than our current selves, to grow more powerful and to be respected as a hero might dwell in all of us .. at least a bit. Yet Shonen Protagonists are often a tad .. bland.. made without a very dominant personality so we can place ourselves in their shoes and feel empowered. So what makes a good Shonen Protagonist in my eyes?! Today we find out by comparing a couple and picking my favourite.

Round 1: Gon Freecss and Izuku Midoriya

Let’s begin with two characters who represent the target demographic the best.  Gon and Midoriya are kids of an age that Shonen watchers would be.  They both love the colour green, they both have outfits I do not find very fashionable and they both work by enhancing their physical strength by having a story that is deeply connected to having a father figure playing an important role in their life. Both have high moral fiber and join an organisation that is there to protect human kind from all sorts of unspeakable evils.  Yet which of the two is the better character? To me there is no contest here at all, because I really do not like Deku as a main character at all.

Izuku Midoriya | Wallpaper de anime, Anime

 I totally get why he is the main character and I can see why people like him but I found him so boring I dropped Hero Academia for it. He’s almost literally Captain America.. a trope that has been there since the 40’s!  Steve Rogers is a wimpy boy, that dreams of/wants to be a soldier, like all his buddies. Even though he is not born with the physical capabilities a benefactor gives him a serum that turns him into a super soldier.  One of extremely high moral fiber that always does the right thing… even if it isn’t always the lawful thing.  Midoriya is the exact same character..except soldier has been replaced by the word hero.. and instead of serum , he got a hair.

I already made a post in which I wrote how bland Shonen main characters can be and Deku to me is the epitome of that. On the opposite site of the spectrum though is Gon. Who in many ways is similar but one who has actual layers. Starting with his Goal.. unlike other protagonists of the genre Gon has an objective goal, rather than a subjective one. What is “ a great hero?”  What is a Pirate King, What does it take to become Hokage?”  All these goals are final destinations, when (and not if)  the character reaches them, the manga/anime ends.  Gon’s story is different, he wants to find his dad. Given how often we see and hear of Gin we already know that will not be the end of the story. 

Hunter x Hunter (2011) – A closer look at Gon vs Neferpitou – blautoothdmand

 From the beginning we know his dad might be dead, maybe he is alive and the reunion will be touching, or maybe Gon will be angry with him.  He is written as a protagonist whose journey can go anywhere.  Gon also feels much more like a kid. He is fickle, naive and has a dark side.  He can be very empathic.. but he also has enough apathy to let Killua do the terrible things he does..to some extent. Gon does what he does, for a very personal goal at times maybe even selfish, power and status is not a goal but a means to an end for him making him feel much more real. Midoriya chases in essence what everyone in that world chases.. or at least the cast chases, translated in this world Deku chases the American Dream, which is the most generic story, with a character that has no real flaws.. he is insecure sure that can be noted as a flaw .. but when it matters he always steps up, his flaws vanish . Gon is frustrated and angry, Gon has abandonment issues and these show up as nasty traits at times, which hinder the story or at least his growing curve in a significant matter. Therefore his base narrative as well as the road trough that narrative is so much more versatile and holds excitement… we truly don’t know how his journey will go. With Deku you can make very well educated guess, Gon keeps the audience surprised  which makes him one of THE best Shonen Protagonist period.  No contest here at all!

Son Goku Vs Monkey D Luffy

I would like to classify  Gon and Deku as more serious protagonists, despite the fact that Gon can be carefree, their journey has some gravitas. It’s not about enjoying themselves along the road. Enjoying yourself on your journey is a trope as well and what two characters better to portray that as Goku and Luffy.  The top two selling anime franchises of all time.  Goku and Luffy are both carefree, glutenous characters, who have access to several transformations and continue to get new ones as their journey goes along. They journey across their respective narrative worlds to face their worlds strongest fighters to prove their own worth.  They make plenty of friends along the way and show kindness to both friends and enemies. Unlike the previous bout this one is a lot closer for me to call and not just because I am watching Goku through nostalgia goggles.

Goku x female reader - Deeper - Wattpad

On paper Luffy does seem like the character that is better equipped for the win. His character arc is more dynamic and he is a much better person than Goku. He also has a lot more personality than Goku does from the get go as well as the one that is more consistently written. Some aspects of Goku’s personality faded over time, which can be explained because we literally see him grow up from a naive kid to a more aloof man. Goku is often hated upon for being a bad father who only wants to fight. However it is that very aspect that draws me so much to later Dragon Ball and Z-Goku. Toriyama told his readers that there is a toxic element in Goku. I do like the idea of this self destructive toxicity.. Once again it offers excitement. How often can it be done before Goku truly bites something off too big for him to chew?!  Unfortunately Goku was ruined , to an extent..not by Toyataro but by the fans. 

Luffy could win this match simply for the fact that he basically is aromantic and will never be a character that I can see having a kid. That means Luffy’s journey can only be achieved by Luffy. Z-Goku was to an extend designed to pass on the torch to his son! However fan complaints ruined this, they needed to see more Goku.. NOT Gohan. This reduced Goku’s most interesting character trait, his toxic need for growth and bigger challenges, to a non issue. No matter how insane Goku’s decisions will become.. it will always be alright because fans won’t allow him to bear the consequences of his mistakes too much. It made the Buu-arc more convoluted as everyone but Goku had to be benched in the end… and it contributed in Toyotaro making Goku more helplessly naive rather than toxic.. which ruined the Moro Manga arc at the end.  

Luffy grin peace signs | Manga anime one piece, Anime best friends, One  piece manga

Luffy is designed better, his goal is strictly tied to him so he can never be replaced. He WILL have to be the one to overcome obstacles or his goals will not be met. The interesting element of Goku is that he does not want to BE the strongest, he wants to FIGHT the strongest, he doesn’t mind losing once or twice if it means he can continue to improve.  However that is also his detriment..his goal is the ultimate form of subjective..especially now that we have been introduced to the realm of the gods, surpassing the gods and all the other universes. Goku’s goal can only be obtained if the writer can’t imagine anyone stronger.. yet Toyotaro found the solution through the Dragon Balls, with Granola wishing to be the strongest in the universe… which means ANYONE can become the new strongest person in the universe.. his goal goes on forever and we will never see it conclude. Luffy has an end goal, Luffy will reach his finish..he is a character that can win. In a way.. Goku is pacman and Luffy is Mario. For the Audience it is much more satisfying to see Mario save the princess and take her home.. rather than see pacman establish a new high score before trying again.,, at least the majority of an audience.. That is what ultimately puts Luffy above Goku still.

Yusuke Urameshi Vs Kurosaki Ichigo

So we have had the bouts of the young naive kids,  the airheaded but insanely powerful adults, what is next?  The grouchy kid that gets dragged into this lifestyle thing against their will of course. The Delinquent type character. The characters I chose to pit against each other are Yusuke and Ichigo,,, can you figure out which one of the two I watched in Dub?! Other examples of this type of hero would be characters like Inuyasha or a great many of the Jojo’s. However Yusuke and Kurosaki both get visited by a girl from the spirit world, tether somewhere between life and death and face enemies in that theme. Both of them have an evil form they have to control so this seemed like a good fit. 

Evolution Of Ichigo Kurosaki By Order of Power Strength *Current up to  Manga chapter 640* ((CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS)) - Album on Imgur

What defines these characters is that oftenly they “lack” a bit of a goal.  They usually have a goal “by proxy” or at least a goal caused by another person. Both Ichigo and Yusuke get more “jobs” rather than a goal they strive for with all heart and soul. Which can at times feel a bit “forced”  The reason why they put up with this thing is oftenly explained through a macguffin, like Inuyasha’s necklace or in Yusuke’s case being employed as a spirit detective. This is where Ichigo takes a small lead over his rival, his story feels a bit more natural. Rukia is his coach for his new powers and as he learns she gets in trouble because of him.. he feels obligated to help her and from there his story flows naturally…until he defeats Aizen. Yusuke is a lot less likeable and a lot more resistant in the beginning, in fact he never really stops being an asshat until the very end of the show. That though gives mister Urameshi a trait that Ichigo somewhat lacks. Consistency.  He bounces around from having romantic moments with Rukia to having kids with Inoue and from delinquent to overpowered hero that does cool poses.

Character growth is important and Ichigo is a character that grows a lot more than Yusuke.. however I do think Ichigo is also a prime example of it being done in excess.  While Ichigo does start off as a better person than Yusuke already , he loses a lot of the elements that define him in the beginning, ending up as some generic cool looking hero.  The biggest problem with Ichigo is that he really doesn’t fight all that much.  The first part of the series is fine.. but around the Espada Arc it kind of follows a certain format.  Ichigo’s old powers get overwhelmed, he goes to train somewhere  to gain a new power. Hell breaks lose everywhere around him  and his friends do all the fighting and as soon as they begin to lose Ichigo shows up late.. but looking all cool and more powerful, obliterating the current enemy.
Then mid fight we travel to an alternate universe for a few weeks,  return to see him finish off this enemy before he is overwhelmed by the next enemy or encounters a new problem.. he goes back to training.. and shows up late for his next fight. Looking all cool and stuff one again not really having a challenge. As a result Ichigo kind of becomes a gimmick in his own show.  After every other fight he goes to power up and learn stuff again.. vanishes , then poofs back looking all cool.

boton ✨ (jizmund) - Profile | Pinterest

Yusuke kind of does the opposite. He gets his finger gun attack and then for almost half of the series he doesn’t really learn a new technique.. he just can fire it a bit more often. Only when the Dark Tournament Saga begins does he learn a new technique.. except it’s kind of the same technique still. A blue beam power attack.. this one is a bit wider though. That’s dozens of episodes in though!  Then two story arcs beyond that he gets a third power and that’s really it. Oh yeah he also gets a platypus bunny duck thing that only does something once, but I can’t help but feel Yusuke really does not grow that much at all…. yet I am not sure if I mind. Change is great but it has to feel natural. The way Yusuke gets roped into being a spirit detective would make it so that he probably would never go fond of the job. He treats his girlfriend pretty terrible and Botan as well, but he is never really given a very good reason to change. Yes they treat him better than  he treats them but with Keiko that has been ongoing since before the series began change has to be natural and I think Yuske is an interesting case study of it not always being needed.

The last Archetype

Fairy Tail - Natsu dragon slayer roar - YouTube

I thought I would place Natsu versus Sawada Tsunayoshi here as both “fire” based people who can float in the air and do big fire attacks as well as some punches… but they are very different archetypes. Tsuna is more akin to Gon and Midoriya. He would beat Deku but lose to Gon. Natsu is the fourth archetype. The shouty anger issues shone the protagonist. Characters like Naruto and Asta would find their way on this list as well as Edward Elric, though he can also fit in the previous category. This is my least favourite archetype because it oftenly invalidates itself as time passes. The “Wild” characters start out as the Scrappy Doo of anime but are then quickly polished out into something else.  I get this is probably a cultural archetype for Japan where loudness equals rude and undisciplined and seeing them grow into respectable people is part of the journey.. but to me at times it feels like we do not meet the real protagonist until halfway into the series. 

I think Tsuna is how this trope is done correctly. Naked Tsuna who is the super mode of the first part of the series doesn’t always show up so we get to know the real Tsuna already before he turns into this obnoxiously present trope. Until he is ready to learn discipline.. but we got to know him already. But he is such a different take on it that I don’t think he classifies. So how about I let you guys decide? Who is your favourite, high spirited, loud and almost feral anime protagonist? Let me know in the comments! Do note that I think that none of the shows I mentioned are bad. Some are just not for me. I am kind of picky with what I want to see in my main character. What makes for a main character you like?! Type a comment while I go imagine my own ideal Shonen protagonist in my mid day nap! Because remember folks!  Friendship is Magic, but dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi.

Pretty Princess Pinkie: The Phantom Menace

Hear Ye Hear Ye! Princess Pinkie has returned with a new movie & Shows post


Greetings my loyal guests and subjects!  Tis with a great smile that I announce a new sort of column on my blog!  Many blogging guides on the internet tell us that when writing a blog we should curb your enthusiasm nor should we be overly negative. In this double series I will do both! In Pissy Princess Pinkie I will take a super negative attitude.. but in a fun way.. and in Pretty Princess Pinkie I will spout unbridled Enthusiasm! Since I started Pissy with a movie that is commonly known to be shit.. I will do the same for Pretty Princess Pinkie.

A long time ago, in a cinema only a small drive away

Jedi Temple Location Gallery | StarWars.com

I did not have a great childhood! I was bullied for my motor skills a lot and spent most of my time alone. My dad and I had  a poor bond but when mom had to work during the weekend and my sister would spend the entire day at a friends birthday party, he took me to see a movie that would change my life, in a way. That movie was Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. A movie that is always under fire from the community, yet a movie that I hold in much higher regard than most. For many reasons!  Because this was the movie that evolved Star Wars from a Sci Fi Western trilogy towards a big epic world. The original trilogy was amazing..but what Phantom Menace did for the world of Star Wars really changed my life.  Not the movie itself persé… but the afterthoughts. For one I am 100% sure that without establishing the politics and groundwork that were created in this movie , we would have never gotten the Old Republic stuff.. after all there would not be an old Republic without the Republic.

All The Force Powers In Star Wars Canon: Light Side, Dark Side & Universal  | Editorial | Star Wars

To me, Star Wars Episode 1 back then and up to this day felt like a natural evolution of Star Wars, we first see the aventures of the one, than the adventures of the few and here we see the adventures of the many.  Instead of a lonely boy or a rebel group, we see well established forces such as the Jedi Order, the Galactic Senate, and the citizens of a planet fight for what they believed in… as a whole. Very unlike the old Star Wars movies, it was stuff you could form an opinion about. The Emperor and Vader in the original trilogy functioned as an absolute and undisputable evil. Here we CAN actually make choices. Do we indeed believe the Trade Federation blockade is justified?! Most likely not!, after all they tried to kill the diplomatic envoy..however they only do this after protocol has been breached and known mind sorcerers were sent to their ship.  Naboo ends up in a similar situation, do we fight, do we flee do we garrison up?!  This to me validated the entire concept of the force.

Star Wars Behind The Scenes - Queen Amidala - Star Wars The Digital  Collection - YouTube

While I love the original trilogy the concept of the Light and The Dark side was kind of flat!  With the Dark Side , being flat out “evil”. It is said anger does lead to the dark side, but except for the very last part never was their a trial.. to test once affinity with a specific side of the force. Here a Jedi constantly has to make choices about what is just. Sometimes what is just isn’t what is right and it creates a much more dynamic world. A world I was enchanted by, a world I shared with my dad… of course he did not really care but that was a time he wanted to do something nice for me.. and he must have seen me lit up because I adored what I saw!  Even when I was little(ish)  these mind game kinds of things really vibed with me. I love stuff like that and maybe this is where that began.

The Living Force vs The Unified Force

Kaadu | StarWars.com

Back then I did not know about all the extra lore there was to find out there! I just wanted to have a big fish. And Jar Jar on a Kaadu as toys !   I mean.. I love ducks and unicorns so why would I not love a duck horse.  Regardless, many naysayers tells you that Episode 1 is boring and I could not disagree more. I loved how this laid the foundation of the Living Force Theory and the Unified Force theory., which is a division between two types of Jedi.. one believing that the force is a single entity that is all around. more like .. “god”  as it were. These were typically the very wise and classic Jedi, like Yoda and later Obi Wan…before Qui Gon’s passing. Yet others believed in the living force. That the force was inside all of us.. bound to someone and somethings on more personal levels. These Jedi lived more in the present and were less “religious” and the most prominent follower of the Living Force was Qui Gon.  This division was notable from episode 1 on.. and it was what made the jedi cool to me!  Before this I never really thought the Jedi were cool.. but Qui Gon.. propelled them into the stratosphere. 

Benjamin Halling - Droideka

That opening scene and the fight against the Droideka was insane! The new laser sounds, the shields, the rolling! This is what a sci fi weapon should feel like to me! These made so much more sense than those “walking camel things”  To this day I still feel like that.   The idea of having a robot roll and zip around like that, allowed a design to be bulky and intimidating yet never just clunky!  The whole concept of using droids fits in so well with the theme of this movie as well… do we believe in the ancient doctrines or do we believe in the  talent and promise of the individual was a theme for Anakin, the Living Force theory vs the Unified force Theory for the Jedi… and are Droids stronger.. who all follow one mission without fail and without mistakes… or is humanity stronger, who is prone to mistakes.. but can also think out of the box.  This theme is even used with Jar Jart to an extent.. in the form of.. he is very different from the standard gungan.. he is not part of the whole.. does that make him weak?! In a way this is a story about diverging from the standard. Should we?! Will we?! What are the consequences?

Star Wars: Liam Neeson is niet benaderd om zijn rol als Qui-Gon Jinn  nogmaals te spelen in Live-Action show

This is a clever choice from Lucas because not only does it give the world much more depth, you create a lot of grey areas as well. Lando was a huge dick for betraying Han in Cloud city but in the prequels and mainly episode 1 that could have been given more depth. Does he believe in the power of the empire.. or in these unlikely people that might break the status quo?! That more Black and white approach worked very well in the orginal because we did not know where the story was going. We felt things.. but in the prequels we KNOW Obi Wan survived, we KNEW Qui Gon  most likely would not, we know what is going to end up happening to Anakin, so by formatting it like a Space Western like before one could easily become to predictable.. and that is a pitfall I think the part 2 and part 3 fell into a bit more, but this movie surpised me a lot. 

The Force is Strong with This One

Laser Brains — polis-massa: Obi-Wan Kenobi in “Phantom Menace”...

Yes Jar Jar can be annoying, but so can C3PO.. we saw those characters grow, to me Jar Jar was a needed disruptor because Qui Gon and Obi Wan as Jedi would not make the same choices Luke made. They already went on missions and were experienced.. and the life of a Jedi is not as exciting as the movies might make it seem . A good Jedi can fight himself off a ship filled with droids. A Great Jedi tries to make sure he doesn’t need to draw his saber at all. This mentality calls for a character like Jar Jar and while his speech is kind of vexing that is kind of the point. He is not meant to be annoying for annoyance sake, he is there to show how strong and composed someone like Qui Gon is. How he differs from Obi Wan.. who doubts Jar Jar more. We all KNOW Anakan is the chosen one so we KNOW Qui Gon is right about him, seeing Obi Wan and Qui Gon argue about that life form is not interesting because we know who is right! With Jar Jar however that is different. 

Does Qui-Gon use his hands to eat after he catches Jar-Jar's tongue? -  Science Fiction & Fantasy Stack Exchange

In my eyes the whole point of Jar Jar is .. .”If I had a lightsaber I would have cut of his head by now” … it shows us the audience the tranquility of a true Jedi not to be phased by the clowning. He doesn’t hurt drawing in a younger audience either and also shows us an important lesson, you don’t need to have amazing super powers or space magic or be a highly skilled  person to be a hero! Sometimes what matters is that you are there.. fighting for what you believe in!  Star Wars as a whole can be a bit preachy and say that power comes only to a few.. Jar Jar all makes that feel a bit less toxic!  Besides that Gungan city looks gorgeous! It’s a great visual that at least to me screamed much more sci fi than.. North pole or Tunesian Desert. This movie sells that a bit stronger to me anyway.

The mask is latex Watto in Star Wars I : The phantom menace | Spotern

I love the Mos Eisley Cantin in the original episode IV and sure there are a lot of alien races but the bar itself doesn’t feel all that alien. Episode 1 shows that aspect much better. Alien sports, alien locales and alien weaponry. Mos Espa has a “logic” to it, feeling less like a showcase and more like a lived in world. While I love Devornian and Talz (that are shown in episode IV).. one could argue that they are monsters and they can walk on Sesame Street as well..sort of speak of course. In every scene though this movie felt very sci-fi to me.  Much more than many scenes in the original did. While many of the aliens in the original looked cool, here there identity mattered. Like how Sebulba as a Dug has a super quick reaction time and Watto is Immune to force tricks and how ihis species greed contributes to the role he plays. You can’t say that for “Do You Wanna Buy Some Death Sticks” guy or .. “My Friend Doesn’t like you” guy!

Naboo Starfighter screenshots, images and pictures - Giant Bomb

The Naboo starfighter is also one of my favourite fighter jets, over the X wing. It just pops so much more in space! It’s so good!  That scene also works well because we see Anakin having established these powers before.  Let’s compare that with Rey who learned how to force heal out of nowhere. Yes, Force Healing is an actual power.. but we never saw Luke have it, we never seen Leia read ancient texts about it, it came out of nowhere. While the pod racing scene and this scene can also easily explain why Anakin is so adept in combat which also is expanded upon later, AND that calls back to the original as to that family trait is what allowed Luke to hit the Death Star Exhaust.  The Pod Racing scene is not just cool for the sake of being cool! It shows us that the character of Anakin has certain abilities within a “recreational” environment. An ability that is later expanded upon and that would have made much less sense without the podracer being there. The Sequel Trilogy hardly ever did that.

Star Wars' Dave Filoni explains why the Duel of the Fates in The Phantom  Menace is so important

The Duel of the Fates Scene to this day is my favourite Lightsaber duel and it introduced a weapon that looks cool, but also has been proven to  be more beneficial than one initially might think. The deflector shields opening and closing gave that fight such a great timing and sense of dread as well. It made it so different and much more in line with the Jedi, once more establishing how different they are from the Sith and the teasing Maul. Maul would only later develop a personality and people complain about that.. but Maul served the role he had to in this movie. The Lapdog of Sheev, the loyal assassin that just did his job, an inescapable threat. We didn’t need to know anything about him because that is not what he was here for.  Sure I thought he was super cool, and I was glad they gave him a persona and made him turn out to be alive for the Clone Wars series and even a cameo in Solo. In fact if Maul had his persona he had later in the series I think it would have made the movie less cool! Now he was an enigma.. who was that man.. What is a Zabraki!  It wasn’t answers we needed..it was answers we wanted and that is how you get people hooked! He was the ultimate nobody and that’s what made him scary.

Lucas Arts

bol.com | Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic | Games

To me this was the movie that for the last time we got an uncompromising Lucas. After this he had to tone down Jar Jar because he was so hated, he had to fix this and he had to fix that.. because people were not on board with his vision. While Episode 2 and 3 clearly still had Lucas’ hand to it.. this one to me is the last one that feels like Lucas work… After that I saw more of his signature or  that feeling in the Old Republic Stuff. Knights of the Old Republic is one heck of a strong game.. and if I were to point out what Star Wars movie inspired it most.. I would say it is this one.

With Swoop Racing, , the general spaceship design, the political themes and the duality between light and dark in everyone.. this is the movie that lead into that…at least that’s how I see it. Without Knights of the Old Republic I would have never started Roleplaying in the Old Republic game, without having played that I would have still been blogging in dutch for my dutch friends.. I’d probably have given up by now or went for something very different.. so Episode 1 in a way is yet another of those corner stones that got me into blogging.. which shows the movie has a heck of a lot more power than just it’s scenes.

Maybe this Star Wars movie is not as entertaining at face value  as some of the others, maybe it lacks  a bit more of that lovable cast of rogues the original offered.. I get that yet at the same time it very much knows how iconic these other characters are.. it doesn’t have to try to replace them with the faces of a new generation like the sequels did. It doesn’t try to be better or bigger r than Empire,  it tries to be something else and deepens the Star Wars world. It tries to add weight to what has come before and what will come after, much more than blindly supporting the main cast, This movie asks you to think! And that is why I think it is such a great sequel, it doesn’t try to top it.. or repeat that success.. it tries to add something and that to me it more than does. While I would agree that this is not the best Star Wars movie, I think for the world of Star Wars and the expanded universe it just might be the most important one.

What is your favourite Star Wars movie? Do you have a movie you love that the world seems to hate? What is a product that you would just be super positive about? What colour would your lightsaber be in star wars?! (New lore says YOU colour the crystal, though each colour has meaning) let me know some stuff in the comments and let’s get a talk going! I will get back to you as soon as I finished “meditating” and dreaming about having a bleepy bloopy droid for my own! Cause remember my dears! Friendship is Magic, but dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

Paradise Hill: Origins

POSTCARDS FROM PARADISE HILL

… I never really understood how I got there until long after I was already apart of the town. The last thing I remember is seeing Cookie walk into a fog. I followed in after him wondering where he was off to. He seemed quiet and more focused than usual. Eventually the fog grew so thick I could barely see directly in front of me. I called out for Cookie to no response.

It felt like I had been walking for days. Eventually the sand of the beach turned into asphalt and I began following the lonely white road line to keep some sense of direction. It felt as though I was traveling in dream years. So quickly through time that it gave the illusion of time itself standing still. When all at once the silhouette of a sign jutted out through the mist.

“WELCOME TO PARADISE HILL”

That was a few weeks ago I believe. But it could have been years ago. Time is a concept very rarely regarded in Paradise Hill. Besides, I had bigger fish to fry. I stood with the letter in my hand. I couldn’t believe it. The letter read:

“NOTICE OF EVICTION”

I stood shocked. I had fallen in love with the town. No traffic, no lines, no one to bother me. The fog made certain things and people a bit harder to see but really, once you got used to squinting all the time it was quite the destination. It had all of the makings and charm of your typical north west lumber town.

Nurses between shifts walking down the road together. I seem to see the same group every day after I wake up, hop out of bed and take a shower in Paradise Motel. “Hi ladies! Working hard or hardly working?” They always seem to get a kick out of it.

When I did leave the motel room in it was in short bursts. Run to the corner store and pick up a six pack – stop at the diner and use the kitchen to cook up a couple of steaks and then stroll merrily back through the blurry black and white white fog to my hotel room. Occasionally outside some loud fire siren would go off and it’d start to get dark outside but i never seemed to have an issue with it.

Just like anywhere else – you keep to yourself and no one tends to bother you. Not even in Paradise Hill. Until now.

As I read the eviction notice the board of directors at Paradise Hills sited a few reasons for my cause of eviction:

1.) LACK OF LODGING EXPENSES PAID: It’s true. I wasn’t paying rent. I mean no one ever asked. One time some guy with a huge hat knocked on the door and just sort of stood there and walked off. But I didn’t know if he was the landlord or just a creeper.

2.) THEFT OF GOODS AND SERVICES:

– (5) Welcome to Paradise Hill gift shop shirts

– (16) Six packs of Paradise Hill Ale

– (2) Bottles of sexual lubricant

– (1) Copy of The Titanic

– (1) Copy of Silent Hill: Origins

3.) FAILURE TO FACE YOUR OWN INNER DEMONS/ BE CREEPED OUT

Mr Winkle. Please – keep the goods you have procured and please leave town immediately. You are no longer welcome here at majestic Paradise Hill. Also your Sea Lion has been returned to your home safely. Please do not speak to any one on your way out as you have been creeping out the other residents for quite some time now.

Sincerely,

PARADISE HILL TOWN HALL

I packed up all my belongings as some beautiful sad music began playing from no where and I backpacked out of town. As I was on the outskirts of town I heard cheers of celebration. But before long I saw the bright lights and sights of Paradise again. Like a tilt-a-whirl through the dark. As I walked through the crowd no one seemed to notice me.

It dawned on me that I was now trapped in Paradise Hill forever. I was free to travel across the globe but no one would ever see me again. Only maybe being able to detect my presence here and there like that one movie with Sean Bean in it.

Baddest Bean on the planet.

Which I was completely fine with. I began to think of the possibilities of my new invisible life. I could sneak into Area 51 and finally figure out what the hell that place was all about. I could get into concerts for free. I could haunt people! This was going to be great. But my first mark was a hot dog stand I saw off the path near the coconut’s huts. I grabbed a roll and reached in the hot water and grabbed a hot dog. I slapped it into the bun and took a bite. Ah. Delicious hot dog stand hot dogs. Disgusting and delicious and now free for the rest of m-

“You gonna pay for that?”

Turns out I wasn’t invisible. And I wasn’t getting free hot dogs for the rest of my life. I walked home.

FANCY INTRO VIDEO

Released: March 4 2008

Developer: Climax Action (Sudeki, The Italian Job)

Published: Konami

Well back to reality and really sad gaming. Today, we have a case of a game that might have been alright if it wasn’t associated with such a strong franchise. I also sort of wanted to use this opportunity to explain what little work that does actually go into these posts and the sad consequences that result from playing (generally) nothing but bad games all of the time.

Not pictured: The Cry Hole that I crawl into after hours of bad gaming.
Shelves of despair

When Pinkie and I had a check in conversation (now that she has a palace built it’s become a whole event with feasts and festivities etc) she asked what I was working on. I told her I was planning on starting Silent Hill: Origins. She responded with, “isn’t that the really bad one?”

Which surprisingly it’s not the really bad one. It’s just not a really good one. Which sums up this game perfectly. If it were named anything else it would probably be considered a forgotten but slightly above average survival horror game – starts off kind of lame, picks up and ends in an absolutely nonsensical way. Put the words Silent Hill on the case however and now you’re looking at a lackluster experience.

In the game you start off as rootin’ tootin’ truck driver, Travis Grady. He’s driving his MAC Truck getting his kicks off Route 66 and all that when he spots a little girl in the road. He swerves to avoid her (as most human beings tend to do) and stops to get out and investigate the scene. Looking for the lost child, he sees her approaching from behind him in his rear view mirror only to disappear which scares the shit out of him but certainly doesn’t deter him from abandoning his vehicle and walking miles and miles in a thick fog in the middle of the road.

Eventually this leads Travis to a house fire. He spots some weird broad hanging out by the burning house and runs in because of course he does. And he rescues some kid that’s torched like a marshmallow. Eventually passing out – he awakes in Silent Hill to go search for the french fry kid and madness ensues.

Now, if I may – first off – I am a Daughter Daddy. She is the light of my life. When my wife was pregnant I think I surprised her by crossing my fingers and hoping for a daughter and we were lucky enough to get a bright, beautiful, healthy little lady. I fucking love that kid. BUT – I have watched enough scary movies to know that if I’m out in the middle of no where and some creepy little girl is hanging around – I’M NOT FOLLOWING HER. I DON’T CARE. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE.

Alright, with that out of the way lets cover a couple of things that this game does really nicely. The sound effects and soundtrack are top notch – Silent Hill quality. Like all other SH soundtracks, composed by the master, Akira Yamaoka. The absolute badass Thom Yorke-esque dark genius of video game soundtracks. The sound effects and music are unnerving and uncomfortable – aptly suited for the atmosphere.

I want to recommend this game so much more but it breaks my own personal cardinal sin of gaming: difficulty due to controls. There is nothing I hate more than fighting a game more than the story or gameplay itself.

Controls and saboteur camera angles are what takes this Silent Hill entry out at the knees. The storyline and voice acting isn’t seminal by any stretch of the imagination but it’s not noteworthy poor. The puzzles are weak and there is a lot of backtracking (RE style) – also not a lot of actual area to explore. For an open town the game has you on rails for a good majority of it.

Camera angles that can really get in your head

The game does certain things right but it does so many little things wrong that it begins to become a serious distraction. The small unnecessary changes are enough to anger longtime fans. The nurses now see and react to noise/light/everything – just another static sprite that is easy to avoid but lacks any of their signature creepiness.

You can pick up large heavy objects to toss at monsters – which is cool – but kind of pulls you out of it as you go through your inventory and realize that your character is carrying twelve portable TVs, three filing cabinets, sixteen I.V. drip bag stands and six different guns. I am not a huge fan of Resident Evil’s death-by-no-inventory-space strategy but how many fax machines can one guy hold?

Not to mention you don’t even really need weapons most of the time. The ability to punch your enemies is overpowered for a survival horror game. I have beat up so many nurses in the past week I could star in my own episode of COPS.

Bottom line: Please for the love of all things holy – Konami – if you are going to outsource one of your flagship franchises please let it be to Kojima Productions. I don’t give a shit what beef you guys have. Figure it out and lets do this.

SHOP TIL YOU DROP

Now here is where it gets tricky. To be frank, even the bad games I adore. I just love playing games. I love buying them, I love looking at my horrible collection of bargain bin trash just as much as any rare games I find. Like little trophies made from melted garbage can lids. They’re mine and I absolutely enjoy playing and writing about them.

Generally, on this blog I deal almost exclusively with cheap games. This game? Not very cheap. Luckily for me, I purchased this years ago before everything Silent Hill exploded in price online.

I would never, ever tell anyone what to buy or what not to buy. I wouldn’t even judge anyone for buying Rule of Rose for $16,999. I mean, I would hope you would find it cheaper but whatever at the end of the day it’s your money, you work hard for it, you spend it on whatever you want.

Right now it looks like it’s averaging about $110-120 on eBay.

Is it worth $2300? I’d have to give it a hard, “no.” But I clean pools for a princess that pays me in bad games – so you do you. I would suggest checking out eStarland or Lukie Games over bid sites for collector’s series games like Silent Hill. There are a ton of gougers that will buy everything up just to raise prices even higher upon resell THUS continually driving up market prices for regular gamers like you and I. Dicks.

DESERT ISLAND SONG

The classic that can get anyone in the mood. Even if it’s for Origins:

Periwinkle’s Lowing Hanging Fruit Punch Ingredients

1.) A small chunk of fur from Parka (Cold Winter)

2.) A thimble of Jack Bauer’s sweat (24: The Game)

3.) A can of Reservoir Dog Food (Reservoir Dogs)

4.) A handlebar mustache (American Chopper)

5.) Blood of a Backstreet Boy (American Idol)

6.) An impossible to control Q-Tip (CSI)

7.) The tooth of a terrorist (Fugitive Hunter)

8.) One Mona Lisa Smile (The Davinci Code)

9.) One Copy of, “Night Rocker” by The Hoff (City Crisis)

10.) One blood stained trucker hat. (Silent Hill: Origins)

Suggestions? Requests? Send me a message!

It’s Transformation Time: The brand new “You Are Magical, Girl!” Blog-Tag-Award-Thingy!

Salutations, guests and loyal subjects! The time has come, I have regained a lot of my former strength so I want to interact with you a lot more!   Since I haven’t fully been able to regain my strength , I decided to reach out through a new blog tag! One I created in my head a few times. One that is easy enough and one that reflects what is happening on my blog very well now! It is time for the You Are Magical, Girl! Blog-Tag-Award-Thingy! I even made a logo!

The Rules

1.  A Magical Girl is always polite!  So be polite! Display the Magical Girl Tag Logo, thank the one who tagged you and if you want tag creator to thank you for participating, tag Pinkie’s original post as well!  That last one is optional though!
2. A good magical girl gets the job done! Answer all the prompts! But do it like yourself! Come up with your own ideas, or compare it with other anime or video games! Anything goes! Just get the job done!
3. A good Magical girl always makes friends! Tag at least 2 people!  More is optional!
There is no 4! That would be bad luck!
5. A Magical girl is not defined by gender! Feel free to tag anyone!

The Questions

A Magical Creature descended from the skies! It is telling you , you are a magical girl!  Describe this magical messenger! What is it.. where is it from?!

My magical girl story begins at my home, my real home here in the Netherlands!  It is late at night when I hear a tapping on my window.. out there is a little coconut! Much like the ones I have as my Kofi supports.. but this one has a monocle and a little bowtie as well as a tuft of hair groomed neatly in  a two parted wave. He also carries a little cane.. he looks very posh!  He says his name is Butternut and calls me Hime.. he has an important mission for me! As well as a very comfy job!

Your creature tells you about an evil force from afar! What is this evil force?! What is their goal?!
hicham-habchi-1.jpg
Art by Hicham Habchi


Butternut tells me that he is stewart of the island of Paradise an island that is on the border of fiction and reality!  I am it’s intended ruler, but two evil fations seek to use the island to destroy the balance between reality and between imagination!  Yes that’s right! I will go above and beyond and make two evil forces!  One from the land of reality and one from the world of imagination. From the world of reality it is some military force.. probably an american sub division called “Deep Dive” .. they want to use Paradise to gain enough resources to police the world keep the island out of the hand of people who would use it for worse..yet at the same time.. they will use it to keep America dominant on the world stage. Enemies of Deep Dive would take “class” archetypes.. such as a Sniper, A Commando and a John Wick like Assassin among other things. 

Krampus: Jack in the Box by thewebsurfer97 on DeviantArt
Art by thewebsurfer97

On the side of imagination there would be an organisation called “The Fallen” This organisation is made from villains of imagination that have already been defeated. Enemies of old tv shows, manga or other things.. that have since lost their face and became monsters they called “Ideas” creatures that have lost their essence but still remain as concepts and blue prints for future generations. “Ideas” will mimic classic villains in some ways or another but have more monstrous shapes. Think of a Jack in the Box monster  that represents “The Joker” or  a “Crocodile” made out of sand and Golden teeth, that has the power to dehydrate. The Jack in the Box along with a Changeling in the colours white and purple would probably be two of the elites! With lesser known villains working as monsters. Their goal is to spread fear in reality so they are remembered to take shape once again.. if they do.. they can breach into existence.

The creature then tells you , you hold a great virtue, it is the reason you have been selected! What is this reason!
My first and easiest foe!

As a VTuber/VBlogger I already  walk the line between fantasy and because of my content , where I blend reality and fantasy quite often I become  heir to the throne of Paradise. Yet there is  more.. “Ideas” have a corrupting effect on everything that is sort of like them,, while Deep Dive manipulates people to be normal citizens. The chosen ones that Butternut selects are truly unique! They do not strive to belong! I do not strive to belong or to adhere to a simple concept. This is my strength and the source of my power! This item Butternut presents to me next is said to reflect that power, and push it through new heights. Yet suddenly a huge storm blows open my windows and the item flies to the room as a Tornado with spiky white hair.. red eyes and huge eyebrows show up!  Some dolls float around in the storm as well.

After the exposition , a monster shows up at your doorstep! It is time to transform! What is your transformation item?!

Well this one is not that hard to guess! As I crawl through my room and under my bed, I find a royal scepter.  One that feels classical, yet also immediately shouts magical girl!  At first I have trouble actually lifting the item because one of these royal scepters is quite heavy!  It is also quite garish!.. With gold and red and some heavy jewels. As I get flailed around through the room by wind Butternut tells me that this is not a real item.. I need to cross from reality into imagination and grab the imaginary one. I reach again and pick up a rod  that has some rainbow fur and can talk through a duck beak! As I pick it up suddenly some snow begins to fall!

Transformation scene time! How do you look as a magical girl?! What is your power and signature attack?!

I pick up the staff and since it’s the first time this transformation scene happens I do not utter my code phrase yet..  the transformation scene has me set against a sky of pink clouds while a bunch of moths made of pink light eat my old clothing.. yet I do not look naked.. the moths made of light form the new shape of a much more regal outfit , lengthy.. then  a snowflake falls on the light and the dress takes shape!  It’s a princess gown filled with hearts!  The moths form a crown.. and a snowflake falls on that.. as the crown becomes a real object as well.. they form my twintails and they become tufts of rainbow fur twintails.   A horn is formed next in the same way.. and as I yell Quack.. duck feathers sprout out some places as an adorable duck purse appears on my hip! Of course also in pink!

My own transformation scene! Yay!

From this purse I can pull out several attacks, as well as items that are too large to fit in there. Elementally my powers reflect that of ice and light.  Usually depicted as sparkly powders that trap my foes as I bonk them on the head with the heavy princess rod!   My way of fighting is less direct than that of most magical girls. I blind with powder snow, I freeze to the ground and then I bonk!  I am not that physically strong.  My finishing attack is summoning a giant snowflake from the sky that I charge with rainbow energy, then I throw it like an energy disk at the enemy! It’s called the Special Snowflake Special! 

My Finisher attack, the Special Snowflake!
Catchphrase time! Name some of those lines you repeat in every episode.. and tell us when you use them!  This can be a transformation phrase.. or just something cool you keep repeating!


My transformation catchphrase is a portmanteau  of Transformation and Imagination!   It is just me shouting “Transgimagination with later phases of transformation keep using the latter word but adding a deeper phase of imagination in it .. like Imagilucination or maybe even Hallucinarium. Who knows how long I can keep my series going!  It might just get really trippy!  Other catchphrases I keep using “Friendship is Magic” and I will have this  anime girl speech thing where I use the word Royal a lot. “This  monster is gonna be a Royal pain in the but”. “If this attack goes through we are Royally Fudged”  stuff like that.  I sometimes try to do this with princesses or queens as well but it rarely works out.

Sometimes Royalty based puns do not work out for this magical girl

My hero catchphrase is Villains repent!  We can do this the easy way or the nice way.. I prefer the nice way”.  .. which isn’t very catchy but it does sum up what I am about! I will try to redeem enemies. Transformed I will be a bit of an Ojou-Sama and display arrogance so this is my way of saying.. I can beat  you easily..let’s talk it out  instead! Neat huh!

Get the 'I Am Amazing' song - Judi Cranston
Ojou Sama Arrogance will be a part of the character
Are you a solo magical girl?! Do you work in a team?! Are you the first recruit or a supportive one?!
Chibi Pinkie will join the fight later!

I will be alone for a fair amount of episodes!  There is the coconut and me facing some enemies and the lore of enemies and my transformation will be explained thoroughly before I get allies! But they would come!   Their transformations would take the form of other royal court members that wield staff, such as the Royal Advisor.. who also wears a staff, the Jester  and perhaps a knight whose rod is an actual club!  Later on in a second season we could even get a support magical girl.. kind of similar to how Rise works in persona!  She would be a chef and her scepter would be a ladle! She would function as a healer who can cook up buffs with monster parts!

Every magical girl  has a goal in her normal life as well! What would your goal be?!

I would want to be a VTuber and of course manage paradise.  I’d open up Paradise as a resort where people can come face to face with their imagination!  A vacation of reality of sorts!   But that is kind of to be expected.. I do have my trustworthy staff there..but lots of monsters would be tied into the problem of paradise.  Say we run out of food on Paradise , we get a Gluttonous monster, if some guests would get into petty fights on the beach..maybe I fight with a Jellyfish.. whose Jelly stands for jealousy! So in that way we have a goal as the manager on Paradise. However I will also be trying to make it as a VTuber.. keeping my show relevant and all! This leads to some spider man like shenanigans where I sometimes try to stream while fighting monsters or soldiers!  Which can lead to some fun situations and make fights more interesting!  Offer extra challenges and really help with power scaling.  We can add an extra tension in fights that should be easy because I need to stream.. or make a fight go faster because I try extra hard to be home in time for a stream!  Sometimes I am a genius!

My Steam Dream will bloom up again! Both in reality as well as in this story!
What is the dark twist to your being a magical girl?!
My dark secret.. I can’t wear shoes!

A lot of magical girl series have a plot twist that is revealed near the end of the show! My element of despair however is revealed immediately You see every time transform and cross into imagination , I do not come back fully!  After the first episode a lock of pink hair is shown.. after the first general is defeated I will have duck feet forever!  I am becoming less human and my imagination is becoming more vivid.. I see things in the real world that are not there.. just that other people imagine being there. Thus reality and fiction begin to blend more.. I begin to fit in the real world less and less and have to spend more  and more time  on Paradise Island.. there everything is in balance and I can keep my sanity.   So as I become stronger in my magic.. I lose my humanity! So will the other magical girls! So rather than seeing us all transform all the time.. we try to balance it out.. look out for each other!  Yet we all know.. that saving the world means that eventually we become stranded on Paradise and can not see our loved ones anymore! We are really becoming our magical girl identity.

The Tags

I will be a good princess/magical girl  and help you out by reposting the questions that way you can copy and paste them more easily!

1.A Magical Creature descended from the skies! It is telling you , you are a magical girl!  Describe this magical messenger! What is it.. where is it from?!
2.Your creature tells you about an evil force from afar! What is this evil force?! What is their goal?!
3. The creature then tells you , you hold a great virtue, it is the reason you have been selected! What is this reason!
4. After the exposition , a monster shows up at your doorstep! It is time to transform! What is your transformation item?!
5.Transformation scene time! How do you look as a magical girl?! What is your power and signature attack?!
6.Catchphrase time! Name some of those lines you repeat in every episode.. and tell us when you use them!  This can be a transformation phrase.. or just something cool you keep repeating! 
7.Are you a solo magical girl?! Do you work in a team?! Are you the first recruit or a supportive one?!
8.Every magical girl  has a goal in her normal life as well! What would your goal be?!
9. What is the Dark Twist to your being a magical girl!

Now for my Magical Girls!

GeekGirlJoy: She did this amazing thing! She made a game based on my island so I repay her her with allowing her to go completely crazy and quirky with this post!

Summer Foovay: Whom is my bestie and she is already a witch so let’s see how she is as a magical girl!

Geeky Gal Meg: I tag her for all new tags so this one will not be an exception.

Senpai: Who already speculated she might be a magical girl once so I give her the chance to become one!

Lynn: I have almost always tagged him in new tags as well and he might be a sweet magical girl!

Fred: Now that is a magical girl story I really want to hear

Roki: Because than my tag will be reactivated in a few months time … just kidding Roki, I love you as a community member so I just really wanted to tag you.

Cele: Because you are kind of my Kohai in a away and I really love your visual style!

Allysa: I would love to see this tag with a more manga minded angle! Al has read so many stories, something good would have to come out of this should they take up the tag!

K: Because I think the world wants to know how K would be as a magical girl!

Annie: I think Annie might actually be a magical girl.. transforming with a teacup! And I REALLY REALLY want to find out how right I am!

If you want to do the tag but I have not nominated you please type “I invoke the powers of Kyubey” in the comments and magically .. in a few days or so your tag will appear on the list! It’s not like I did not nominated you… we just need a bit of extra power for all the nominations to appear! Now I hope you will pick up the tag and I can read some awesome magical girl stories.. but first I have to face a few strange creatures that live behind my eyelids! Because remember folks! Friendship is magic but dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

What if Princess Pinkie Wrote: The Super Mario Bros (1993) Movie

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie has returned with a new movies and Series Post!

I really love Bob Hoskins Portrayal of Mario, and the weirdness that is the Super Mario Bros movie. I reviewed it myself and gave it an equally strange grade. The super silly movie is great to watch, but let’s be honest it doesn’t have to do a lot with Mario. Yet Mario is also quite difficult to make a movie about. So if I was given the chance to make a movie..given that I would have to make it in 1993. What would I do?! How would I write the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie?

Brooklyn Brothers

Nintendo Super Mario Super Star Lampje Met Geluid

The Super Mario Movie starts with a story about how Dinosaurs ruled our world.. but then a meteorite struck! Claiming , that instead of wiping them out..it created a second world.. an underground world where dinosaurs continued to evolve. I think this concept might actually be usable after a slight repurpose. This time we will have the story about the meteorite happening but this time the narrator will inform us that it wasn’t just a meteorite that crashed into earth that day, it was a star (or a part of a star). a very special star! A power star! When that star crashed on earth it discovered a world hidden beneath hours.. another realm. The Dinosaurs got themselves trapped in that new world. Then we would get a little mention that these stars.. tend to seek each other out.. or that the star wants to be reunited.

I am using these two options because in more modern Mario incarnations, especially in the RPG’s there are several power stars, variations among each RPG and even in some other games, so ideally I’d use that idea! In 1993 with less Mario titles being out it might have to be pieces of a star. For the sake of argument though we will say that we can use the idea of multiple stars as it may have been adapted later on if the movie wasn’t such a huge flop..or at least borrowed from there. Plus Super Mario RPG was only three years away so perhaps a concept was lying about already!


With that said the next scene would replace the one of Daisy being dropped off at the orphanage. This time we see a boy flush his turtle away..we follow it as it ends up in the sewer.  It survived and crawled out of a pipe.  We see some mushrooms grow on the damp walls near the pipe.  Another star crashes in New York city missing the turtles but hitting the mushroom and the sewer pipe. As the pipe begins  to glow.. we see the little turtle and the water it came from being sucked back in the pipe.. as the water flow is reversed.  When we zoom in on the pipe we see it now grows green..and the mushrooms going next to it have all gone.

Not exactly how it would look but this would give you an idea!
A quirky Employer for Mario

Next we would be introduced to Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo! That’s  right we are keeping the original cast. In some cases at least! I won’t take this from Bob Hoskins!  The whole plumber skitt would happen but rather than be a conspiracy theorist Luigi is more of a scaredy cat. He saw a report on a meteor strike in New York  (x)  many years ago. The documentary would say it was covered up and Luigi would be scared of such an incident ever happening again.  The boys would get a job but Scarpelli’s men would get there first like in the original stealing the job from the plumbers. This time there would be no digsite. Instead Luigi and Mario and Mario’s girlfriend.. Pauline (instead of Daniella)  would talk about losing the job to Scarpelli! To which a strange old man tells he is opening a hotel, in an abandoned building, that has been abandoned ever since that weird event (x) years ago. This professor would kind of like professor E.Gadd and the hotel itself a reference to both Luigi’s Mansion as a series and Hotel Mario. I know it’s 1993 and E.Gadd was not invented yet ..but it will still work as just a plot point if he is just an old strange man.. I just made it a cameo for my fellow time travellers.

Scarpelli and his crew would not take any bigger role in this .. they are just to get Mario and Luigi to another job.. working for an odd ball they would normally refuse. While in the hotel they can hear some strange noises coming from the basement and Luigi acts afraid, thinking it might be ghosts. Mario  tells him to shape up as the pair heads to the basement.. They notice there is no water and the only way to turn it on is to enter the sewer grate just outside the soon to be hotel.  When they check the pipes they notice the water IS turned on.. but for some reason it is just not flowing.  Luigi then discovers the pipe with the water flowing backwards still glowing green.  Both look surprised as another star crashes near them, which spooks luigi and he falls into the water.. and gets sucked up in the green pipe.  Mario is intrigued and picks up the star, puts it away  and rather than jump into the water jumps towards the pipe.. and gets pulled in as well. We hear the iconic warp pipe sound as we get a trippy travel between worlds,

Gotta have those 90’s neon animations when travelling through worlds!

The Mushroom Kingdom

The next thing Mario sees is a clear blue sky as the pipe spits him out in a body of water in a grassy environment with a brick road close by! The grassy windows xp looking grassy hills nearby seem to have eyes? Then he hears Luigi screaming! Mario runs toward him and sees both Luigi and a tiny little dude with a little Mushroom dude screaming in Panic, played by Verne Troyer.. we will get an actual Toad in an actual Mushroom Kingdom! No Cyberpunk world here! But a world that actually looks like the Mushroom Kingdom. Think Classic Wizard of Oz look! The blue skies.. actual turn out to be blue glowing mushrooms covering some underground cave walls. After Mario slapped Luigi he mans up a bit and realizes Toad is asking for help! His village is under attack.

I could have spend more time photoshopping this.. but you get the point!

Mario agrees to help the little guy, grabbing plunger and wrench as they make their way to the village! Now here casting restraints show up! We can’t cgi to many fake toads, unless we oompa loompa it but since toads are skin coloured it might look too fake, so instead we get normal citizens.. but all have either a mushroom cap or some element of mushroom to them! They are attacked by two human goons with some facial prosthetics to give them a more beak-like mouth and on the back of them is a green and red shell! They replace the goons of the original movie so they can be played by the same actors. Looking more inhumane, however this time around in the real world Scarpelli and associates resemble these guys, to give a nice pair of rivals for Mario and Luigi! They claim they are coming to collect (x) coins taxes for King Koopa unless the Princess gives up her Star. Mario thinks he sees Scarpelli snaps and lashed out! Even Luigi helps! In a tavern brawl style with plumber tools our heroes come out victorious.. who by the way are already in their Iconic gear, as is their plumber uniform, no red and yellow dinner jackets… The Koopa Brothers swear that next time they will bring their hammers and will take care of them next time. Toad explains that these are Red and Green Koopa… also known as the Hammer Bros.

Of course rescuing the village would get Mario and Luigi invited by Princess Toadstool which still can be played by Samantha Mathiss. Toad can go as well. The princess baked a cake for them, Mario and Luigi ask for Spaghetti but the Princess doesn’t know what it is! She awards them a Mushroom, that when consumed helps them in their time of need. It will make them stronger. Mario hates mushrooms and Luigi likes them. As Mario gets his Mushroom, something in his pockets glow as well as a gem around princess Toadstools neck! She looks surprised but an explosion draws their attention. Bowser/King Koopa stands there with Red and Green Koopa who wield the SNES super scope that was used as the devolution gun in the original, this time painted black.  They shoot out a Bullet Bill with arms that grab Mario and Luigi sending them through a window! Bowser, still played by Dennis Hopper laughs at their screams and says Monkeys! Then he turns to Peach and tells her Game Over Princess!

I used the goomba suit from the movie as a Boswer Body.. despite my photoshop skills.. that would be neat!

Quest in Koopa Kingdom

The two brothers land in a desert, trying to make their way back to the palace and during their trip they encounter the Mushroom version of Professor E.Gadd or in 1993 a random scientist.  Played by Christopher Lloyd, cause he was the weird scientist back then. He lives out in the desert because his house was haunted but he is working on clearing it out. Luigi tells Mario he knew the hotel was haunted. For rescuing Peach however the professor gives them the jumping shoes from the original, and a hammer as a weapon! In trade of their plumbing tools, which he never saw before.

So this scene… we keep!

When the duo gets back to the castle, they find it abandoned except for a hiding Toad, he tells Mario he knows where they took the princess, a dark fort in the Koopa Kingdom, and he saw the enemies left through a pipe! Not far away. The group travels there together and we see them learn to use their new weapons and jumping shoes through a fair few challenges, defeating a few Koopa’s but as they draw closer to the fortress Toad begins to act more shady. Nervously looking around. The heroes don’t notice because that’s how Hollywood works. They make their way through the fortress in a Indiana Jones like fashion, with the castle being a trapped tomb. Singed and injured the two arrive at the end of the tomb where they have to fight Red and Green Koopa, which ends rather anticlimactic! Despite them tossing hammers this time.. using their jumpy shoes Mario and Luigi outmatched them badly. There they find all the coins Koopa stole from the people..and a tied up Mushroom girl… no princess. Toad looks ashamed and tells them he is sorry but the Princess is in another castle 

He explains while loving his ruler, he needed the money back as did the other mushroom folks and if King Koopa was defeated his goons would run off with the money. Toad and his girlfriend will bring the money back to the village, Mario should save his Princess now. A montage follows of Mario and Luigi traversing the next fort looking even more hurt! At the end they see King Koopa on the edge of a lava bridge! The princess caged behind him.  He reveals that there are seven stars each having a power of their own. His star can make him Immortal!  As such he lived for millions of years, so long he could evolve himself.. but he can also move back. He then grows his Spikey shell and bulks up as he breathes fire. Hitting Luigi, down for the count Luigi smells baked mushrooms, his favourite and eats it! This makes him buff up and have a grapple fight with Bowser holding him down.

Buff Luigi is a thing so no photoshop!

Luigi tells Mario to use that function on the Hammer and jump over Bowser!  Mario jumps over Bowser but thr monster leaps up for a moment, seeming to impale Mario on his spikey shell! A single drop of blood can be seen rolling from Bowsers shell, a shocked Luigi and Peach stare at the shell, then crank a smile! We see Bowser shell again, no more blood rolls across but rather a rainbow light effect! Bowser looks surprises as Luigi leaps back! “Your Star may make you immortal Bowser, Mine makes me invisible” Mario says, he then kicks off from Bowser’s shell and he and Luigi press a button on the bottom of their hammer. It changes into an axe! Bowser pleads for mercy but the two axes chop down the bride as Bowser falls into the lava he had used to warm his Dinosaur Blood. We see his hand come up from the lava one more time.. but to no avail. Bowser is dead.

Terminator 2 Thumbs Up GIFs | Tenor

Epilogue

The Princess is rescued and Bowser’s star floats towards them. Luigi jumps across and boosts to far, stumbling into a room where he finds a white egg with green dots. He asks if it should be tossed in the lava but Peach tells him not too! He star has the power to heal.. so she heals Mario and Luigi , they go back to the Mushroom Kingdom where Mario gives up his star! Peach promises to keep them safe! Mario and Luigi should return to their own world, but that soon she will invite them for a new cake!  They find the warp pipe that leads them home being waved goodbye by the Mushroom people and Peach, clutching the Egg. It hatches and also sees Mario and Luigi leave! Peach names the baby, Yoshi.

Don’t worry little guy Pinkie liked you in the movie! So you can stay as you were!.. Except you are also Bowser Junior now

One year later appears on screen. Mario is taking his girlfriend Pauline to the Zoo, Luigi is there along with Toad who is wearing a disguise as a kid. Pauline remarks that Mario could have worn something else than his working outfit, he refuses, this is the gear of a Mario brother. He and Luigi Fistbump in front of the Gorilla cave.. the sign shows this Gorilla’s name is Donkey Kong. Toad noticed one of Mario’s boots is untied..as he bends  over a Mushroom falls out his pocket, snatched by the Gorilla hand. The screen goes black, metal bars snap and Pauline yells.. we here the Iconic Game start sound of the arcade game play as we enter the credit roll.

And that my friends is how I would have made the Super Mario Bros 1993 movie whilst also setting up a possible Mario Cinematic universe. No actors would be recast with the exception of Koopa’s secretary and King Fungus, but they would be cast as random mushroom city citizens. Everybody wins! How would YOU make the Super Mario Bros Movie (as restricted per the 90’s ) ? Would you go see my Mario Movie (provided that some costumes look a bit better than my photoshops) let me know in the comments while I go do some research for my Kirby in Dreamland adaptation. Because Remember…..Friendship is Magic, but Dreams are even more wonderful! Oyasumi!

Cha-La Bad!! Cha-La : Pissy Princess Pinkie Watches Super Friends

Hear Ye Hear Ye! Princess Pinkie has written a new anime post!

Greetings loyal subjects and guests!   Today I am feeling a bit … pissy!  You see I discovered a new anime that I heard was just like Dragon Ball, and I LOVE Dragon Ball. This one was a Korean Anime.. or how do we call that? If Manga in Korean is Manga is this Animwe then? Not sure! Either way… I watched Super Kid.. or Super Childe or whatever it is called in Korean. It’s …not very good… and the biggest issue. It’s JUST like Dragon Ball. Really much like Dragon Ball! Just done a bit worse! Okay that’s a lie.. it actually does it a lot worse. So join me as I found a product, so forgotten and uncared for that it has been watchable on Youtube for almost 4 years now!

Confusing but Familiar

Not cropped this is actually full Screen

The movie follows a group of powerful warriors named the Super Kids. So already the title of the movie is kinda off because it’s about Super Kids.. with an s at the end… not a Super Kid. Now only half of the Super Kids ARE actually KIDS because there are three grown man  and a rock monster in there.. who also looks kind of adult so of the super kids only 50% is actually a kid.  So this is a movie called Super Kid, because it follows the Super Kids.. and it’s not even a group of Kids.  That’s hell of confusing. To make it EVEN more confusing.. the main character LOOKS like a Kid and he might be THE Super Kid… but he is 199 years old!  My head already hurts!

Gokdari kinda looks familiar

The story starts with a dapper young girl/kid/i dunno named Joo Eun-Joo a scientist.. I mean Journalist working for a big company/news station. When she hears about a scoop .. the Super Kids, are fighting a villain named Cacaruse (I think)  she takes her fancy little flying UFO car to cross path with the Super Kids.. including the young boy Gokdari, their leader. Gokdari is a young fighter of an Alien race, with Spikey hair that changes shape if he is angry! His weapon is a magical staff that has the power to extend…. and contain evil within. So .. it’s not a total copy.. of a similar character. Gokdari wears an orange or Red Gi, with a symbol on the middle, and he can shoot blue energy beams.. as well as grow giant and feral almost like a berserking gorilla…but still looking like himself.

He sure is a Big Boy!

His best friend is called Big Boy, a bald monk boy who isnt as skilled as Gokdari but tries to hang out with him a lot. Then there is Samachi, a slug looking alien, who is green and has the power to extend his limbs very stretchy like..but it is the one character that actually sounds like a kid. Then there is Chao, the desert bandit who wields a large scimitar, who tries to be intimidating but ends up largely being ignored by the group.  Then there is Saint TeolTeol..credited as Grand Priest Tul Tul  who is a bald old man that is like the mentor of the team. A master of sorts. They also have a Pilot because..sometimes they can travel through space on their own but sometimes they can not..so they fly in a giant mecha with golden eyebrows.  Not sure whats that doing in here.. but for a 1994 movie I can’t help but get a feeling I have seen these characters somewhere before?! Hmmm where could that be!

Plot

OC Please don’t steal

The movie ‘s first fight is against Cacaruse or whatever his name is! A space squid who fights alongside his pal Bazooka Joe, and no that is not a joke, the character is actually called Bazooka Joe! He wears shiny armor and a Jetpack and fires big yellow beams out of his bazooka. The group defeats these villains and we discover they aren’t actually heroes. They are Mercenaries. Gokdari won’t hand over the villains to the authorities until he is handed a cash reward. Having proven their worth the heroes are contacted by the police for an even bigger bounty.

Noot Noot Mofos!

The biggest criminal in the universe. Judowgi, a destroyer of planets who transforms! The strongest criminal in the universe. So of course half of the group gets left behind and Rockpile, The Slug Alien , Big Boy and Gokdari travel to the alien planet with the journalist girl on board as a stowaway. As they leave the sunglasses of the police officer shimmer ..so we know he is evil. It turns out he is also an evil space alien wanting the Super Kids to kill his rival… and because he has a rival, an ally of Judowgi .. the blinking warrior named Maoi fights at his side. giving Judowgi teleporting powers… so  they have to travel back to fight this new threat after losing to Judowgi once.

Kamehame-nah!

The fight this guy who has the ability to change his arms into metal weapons.. but once he shown his real form.. he completely loses this ability! The heroes get overpowered.. but win the fight when they discover this villain is afraid of ants. They pull his tendrills and bully him with ends until he loses the will to live and break his spirit.. allowing him to be captured by the magical staff..which seemingly can always suck up enemies but for some reason Gokdari only uses it once enemies are beaten..so I just assume that rule. They travel back through space again.. doing in minutes what originally took them 8 days and now that the rival is defeated.. the ally of Judogi sees the worth of the Super Kids as he beats up Judowgi and rips out the power source of Judowgi’s final form.. which doesn’t weaken him at all of course, but now causes the other form to be his stronger form. By working as a team the kids defeat the big bad and trap him in the staff. Then the group travels back to get their bounty which Gokdari donates to his old orphanage leaving the rest of the group in crippling debt and unpaid bills (not kidding).

Dragon Ball Zzzzzzzzzzz

This movie almost steals as much moves as Goku himself does!

This movie takes a lot of inspiration from Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z and when I say a lot of inspiration I mean that it pretty much steals everything about it. While it shuffles some things up almost all elements are there. Blue Energy beams, multi forms, the Mafuba, Powerpole and to an extend even a Dragon Ball.. sure it doesn’t grant wishes but in this world there are orbs of infinite power that people took to be super strong.  The problem with this movie is it doesn’t do very much original things. And when I say not very much I mean… it doesnt do ANYTHING original.. well it does a few things differently.. but all those things , are wrong. For example they choose the “Ash Ketchum” way  of winning a lot of fights. 

Gokdari should team up with Bully McGuire

With the exception for the first fight.. all enemies are defeated by other forces. Like “Ants” or A celestial being intervening with the fight…. even in the first fight, Bazooka Joe gets defeated by his armor falling off  and that other thing loses to his teeth being knocked out!  Because this movie is aimed at kids… we never see a kill.. but we never see a  knockout either. All enemies just are punched until they cry..after which they are bullied more by Gokdari, not a great way to make us enjoy the main character. I am not kidding..every single villain cries before they are finished off, and Gokdari even fires an energy blast in the face of an innocent alien, just because they carried a prisoner .. while not knowing any context. It makes it quite hard to root for him. Which means I find myself uninvested.

No music! But this movie has magical orbs though! That’s original right?!

Now the worst crime this movie manages to pull off is having fight scenes …….without music! That’s right.. not a single not of music is played during any of the fights. Character often don’t even talk so it’s just swish, swoosh, thunk and grr rawwwrr… for minutes on end before characters say another line. I watched the English Dub.. and as you expect.. it’s no good!  When you look up this movie on IMDB you see it gets a 3.6 out of 10 and non of the voice actors have their picture on their imdb page. The good voice actors, such as the camera girl and Gokdari.. sound like bootleg Bulma and Goku.. imitating their english VA’s .. the bad voice acting is flat out annoying. The Piccolo clone thing, has this super squeaky voice that sounds like a carebear doing a Dragon Ball Z spoof.  Judowgi sounds like thatt growly voice a kid would give to their evil figurine.. but then a kid that smoked for 10.000 years.  The evil cop villain alien thing sounds like Janice from Friends.. or Fran Dresher, trying to voice StarScream from transformers. You know you are doing something wrong if I think squeaky voices aren’t cute! So basically this movie looks and sounds awful!

For Not so Super Kids

The Villain’s Final Form.. but also his weaker form..sometimes!

So , so far we have established this movie is confusing, unoriginal, poorly written, poorly animated and poorly voiced, on top of being poorly directed. So this movie is a bigger pile of stink than Unicorn DooDoo..which let me tell you, doesn’t smell of roses or cupcakes either. It doesn’t feel like a love letter to Dragon Ball either… it really feels like someone who doesn’t understand DragonBall… or anime tried to make money out of it.   It has everything kids think is cool right? So this gotta sell?!  They also planned for Super Kid to be a tv show but this movie did so poorly those plans were cancelled fast, and for good reason. There is no passion here… and even a bad product can be good if there is passion. Look at movies like “The Room” or one of those fan made Pokémon games I keep playing. That really lacked for me from this movie .. in everything.. . Even in Uwe Boll’s movies I see some passion…a passion for objectifying women , sure but still a passion. You can tell someone somewhere had fun!  Here.. I don’t think anyone had fun creating this.  I hope I am wrong.. but I can’t escape this feeling.. the fact that this movie has been on YouTube for three years without it being copyright stricken applifies this that no one cares.

Oh right she was there as well

It’s an inoffensive movie that doesn’t drop the ball as much as Uwe Boll did, but it also isn’t as fun to watch. Where the latter’s direction feels like the delusions of a madman here.. there really is nothing. Characters gain powers at random to suit their needs, Rockpile , while entertaining explodes like 20 times in this movie and thus is immortal.. having no consequences and that goes for the entire movie. Stuff just happens. A kid may not notice but even the action isn’t that satisfying.. the hits feel cushioned and soft and I don’t think anyone actually throws a punch in this movie.  So this movie is like a wet matchbook.  It is something that you can say you collected.. but it looks like a cheaper version of that one well known brand matchbook… and other than the collecting value it’s pretty darn useless… and kinda soggy! Maybe it’s fun for kids.. but if it is it certainly would not be for the smart kids.  Perhaps if your kid things your guinea pig or rabbit is a small dog, this might be entertaining.. but this movie certainly won’t entertain Super Kids. Or super many kids at that.

Normally I would ask.. have you seen Super Kid? But I am pretty sure no one has! So instead of sharing my Kofi down below (you can still support me on the side bar on my actual website) I will share with you.. the full Super Kid movie! Tell me how far you made it in before giving up in the comments and we can interact and be friends! First however I need to take a Supernap! Because Remember kids: Friendship is magic but dreaming is even more wonderful! Oyasumi

The Haunted Mansion on Paradise Island

POSTCARDS FROM PARADISE

When I was young my father told me there was a curse in my family. He told me to never tell any of my friends at school because everyone would laugh at me and call us crazy. Very seriously he sat me down and explained to me that he sees ghosts. I believed him then and believe him to this day because now, I see them too.

The conversation and sentiment itself haunted me for years. It rattled around the passages of my brain like little pac-man ghosts just before I’d fall asleep. Then one day well into adulthood I had finally understood what he meant.

I was driving down the road one summer afternoon and I saw a friend of mine walking by himself that had passed away years before. He was an old boss of mine and of a very distinct build. He was about 6’4 and heavier set. Bald, thin gold rimmed glasses and bearded. A bit of a hunched back but strong as an ox. We locked eyes as I drove by and he too seemed to have stopped in his tracks. Don had been dead for close to five years at the time. So what the hell was he doing walking down the street?

I was so convinced and baffled I pulled over to the side of the road. I looked in my rear view mirror. There he was walking down the road alone seemingly toward my car. I pinched myself. Was I dreaming? I waited for him to pass by as I held my breath staring. Somewhat awkwardly a man who looked nothing like him passed by my car noticing my weird behavior. It wasn’t Don at all. I had successfully stalked a random grown man who was about six minutes away from kicking my ass.

Probably a bit crazy, with a bit of an out of control imagination and lack of healthy coping skills would probably explain the “ghostly encounters” I’ve had from time to time. As I get older more and more reminds me of my past and it’s rarely anything to be afraid of.

So when I received my orders from the Palace to investigate a newly unearthed haunted mansion in the forest on the island I wasn’t shaken in the least. Ghosts and spirits are only as dangerous as you allow them to be. Even 999 of them.

Friday afternoon I swung by Indigo’s hut and left him a couple of big T-Bone steaks, Turkey Legs, Mead – all things the Viking types love as a thank you for taking care of my pool duties over the weekend. I was packed and ready to spend the weekend investigating the history of this mystery mansion. Ever curious for a glimpse into the after life I was on my way – alone. Cookie wanted to go with me but I had to convince him I’d be alright alone. I even had to throw some fish in the other direction to distract him.

It took me most the afternoon with compass in hand before I had arrived at the dilapidated mansion in the thick of the forest. But the forest wasn’t much of a forest and the dilapidated mansion wasn’t very dilapidated. In fact – while it might have been haunted – this place was anything but abandoned.

Out of my price range.

Somewhere deep in the bowels of the mansion a man watches over dozens of monitors with cameras all over the property. Glaring at the screens he asks himself, Who is this little man with glasses and child bearing hips? As far as Albert knew Umbrella Corporation said that this island was abandoned. Had they landed on the wrong island? Ah too late now. He decided to introduce this unwelcome visitor to his first devastating line of defense. “Take this” he said aloud as he let out a deep laugh and pushed a red button.

If you’re going to be evil do yourself a solid and get some cool sunglasses.

“Ick – is that poison ivy?” I asked myself. I had been examining a strange logo towards the front gate. It looked super familiar but I just couldn’t place it.

Looks pleasant enough.

As I was examining the logo I heard an electric current coming from the ground as I stepped back not knowing what to expect. The ground in front of me cracked open. Just a tiny little hole and a little pole came shooting out. As the pole retracted – a sign unfolded.

“NO TRESPASSING – PLEASE ~ UC”

As I stared at the sign a little camera on top looked me up and down. I imagined some beefy security guard ready to mess me up (still shell shocked from the Seemingly immortal security guards of Trigger Man) Did I travel all this way just to be deterred by a “No Trespassing” sign?

There was a small speaker at the bottom of the sign to speak into. I held the button down.

“..Hello?”

Albert Wesker stared at this pudgy little man in a purple suit and sighed. He took his signature sunglasses off and rubbed his temples. If the “No Trespassing” sign wouldn’t stop this maniac than what could? He looked around the security room and thought of something.

– still pressing the button on and off –

“ Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Echooooo echoooooo echooooooooooooo. I’m going to trespass! You better stop me. I’m here to see some ghosts. Ya hear me? I’m gonna do it! Ya hear?”

Wesker looks at the camera to see the silly man stretching his leg in the air past the sign and then putting it down on the ground.

“There. I did it! Told you I would! You’ve been tre-passed upon”

Suddenly the sound of another electric current and now a larger retractable pole came out of the ground. This with a small black box on top. A voice came out of a speaker in it.

“Hey idiot. There are no ghosts here. If you must know his is a zombie mansion, bozo!”

Now I’d be lying if I were to say self doubt wasn’t becoming a serious issue for me at this time. So I resigned to cutting my losses BUT I didn’t want to leave empty handed and almost as if the trespassing sign could read my thoughts the voice proceeded:

“Hey idiot. I know you’re going to ask for some sort of souvenir because you’re a simple, disgusting little creature. So open the box and there you will find all that you need. And then get out of my face. Now where did I put-

Souvenirs!? I no longer cared what this guy had to say. Toys? Tshirts? FOOD!??!? Opening the box I found three things. A copy of The Haunted Mansion with a sticky note that said, “for your ghost hunting needs.” Next I found a t-shirt that said, “I got infected by the T-Virus and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.” I didn’t know what the hell the T-Virus was – I’m not a scientist. I could not care less. But I could always use more clothes. The last thing I found was some weird vial that looked like it had some like weird red spiral thingy in it. Looked sorta spicy – might add it to some chili or taco night or something.

Happy with my bounty I clicked the TALK button and thanked my new friend for the game, shirt and red sauce. He started shouting something but I was running out of daylight and started to head back. Didn’t see any ghosts but maybe I would tonight – as I dip into The Haunted Mansion.

New And Improved Video Introduction

Released: October 14 2003

Developed by: High Voltage Software (Lego Racers, COD 2: Big Red One)

Published by: TDK (whom would fold and be purchased by 2k)

It’s important to note right away that The Haunted Mansion is based on the actual ride at Disney World and not the Eddie Murphy film which happened to ALSO be released in 2003 and was based on the ride as well.

In short – the video game was much better received critically than the film. Even though I love me some Jennifer Tilly.

I wish I had a big glass ball with Jennifer Tilly in it. Wait that came out weird.

The game features none of the likenesses or anything you would have thought would be in it because it wasn’t until after I purchased it that I realized it’s not based on the film adaption. Which ultimately is for the better. So instead of Jennifer Tilly playing the role of Madame Leota it is voice actress, Lisa Donahey – who could win a Kathy Bates voice imitator of the year award for her work in the game.

Regardless of the heavy southern drawl and the constant reminder that this mansion is located in the Deep South of Louisiana the voice acting is really good. Light, fun and convincing. A level of quality you would expect from just about any Disney product. But unfortunately the game does have some audio flaws despite superb voice acting. The soundtrack will cut out randomly and muddle at times. The sound effects can also get pretty redundant and ear splitting if you’re a headphones player like myself.

Sound issues aside this game is pure fun. Obviously with the exception of an occasional jump-scare as far as horror games go The Haunted Mansion is toothless. But it doesn’t make it any less fun.

Full of challenges and a huge mansion to explore. Whacky characters and easy to learn controls this game was a super entertaining and enjoyable spook fest. Highly recommended for fans of 90’s Halloween comedy like Hocus Pocus and Casper

SHOP TIL YOU DROP

Used on eStarland this is going for bargain bin prices. Hovering around $3.50. That’s pretty in tune with what I’ve seen on eBay. There is a brand new copy going for $37 dollars still sealed so this game right now has little to no resell or collectors value. But for the price you can’t beat the entertainment factor. I’m glad I own it and I would definitely suggest for my fellow retro enthusiasts for a fun game towards Halloween.

PERIWINKLE’s GIN AND GEM INGREDIENTS:

1.) One liter of jet fuel (Ace Combat 04: Shattered Skies)

2.) A crystal ball with a southern lady’s head in it (The Haunted Mansion)

DESERT ISLAND SONGS

“If dreams are like movies than memories are films about ghosts”

What is your favorite playful scary movie? Any games you play every Halloween? Let us know.

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Yay! I am a Pokémon Princess: Pokémon Royal

Hear Ye Hear Ye, Princess Pinkie is here with a new Pokémon Post

My loyal guests and subjects, it is with the utmost delight that I am here to tell you about a Pokémon Fan Game that has eluded me for a while! I did not know of it’s existence until some sentai looking guy on YouTube told me this was among the best Pokémon fan games out there… he was not wrong!  Today I shall share my experience of the Pokémon Royal version with you!

Princess Pinkie in the Aristo Region

When I write this , I have only recently taken up the mantle of princess of Paradise Island , so I googled games in which you can be a princess. Not a lot came up, except for this super difficult Steam game with lots of stats and menus. I got bored and went looking for new Pokémon games to play!  Trough a YouTube Video I heard about Pokémon Royal! A game in which you play a princess.. or prince. As the youngest child of King Arthur and Queen Guinivere you are to embark on your very first pokémon journey… however this time.. if you win you do not just become the champion.. you the future king or queen! However for some strange reason, while you travel across the lands searching far and wide, something strange is happening, alternative forms of Pokémon show up.. not regional forms..but Pokémon from different times. It all seems to connect to a mysterious organisation named Team Knight! 

The Aristo Region features a classical Pokémon adventure, where you have to earn 8 gym badges, fight an evil team, can capture some legendaries here or there, and can capture pokémon from all 8 generations, as well as some counterparts for them of forgotten times. What’s more is the game isn’t as insanely hard as Pokémon Reborn, Insurgence or the likes, but instead ditches the “useless” stuff like worthless moves or “dead” abilities. It results in a fast paced Pokémon game that teaches you how to play at a semi-competitive level and think like a real trainer. The second gym already gives you Scald as a TM  which  is one of the best water type moves in the game and it really teaches you to keep a healthy balance between physical and special attackers, without feeling overly difficult.. it offers you plenty of variety but also shows you how a pokémon is properly kitted out.

The journey you take feels very much like Sword and Shield.. but from beginning to end basically let’s your monsters level from level 5 to right up to around 100 for the post game. When you get there though you are already around level 90.  The game throws you an exp share right away that works like the one in Pokémon Sword and Shield .. thus you can very easily get the team you want trough fairly minimum grinding Though keeping the challenge level of the orginal games with just a bit more oomph. The game features an original story that only uses Arthurian legend for namesake. Yes you will encounter Merlin, Morganna , Percival , Gallahad and Lancelot, but there is no magical sword there is no relation to the mythos .. it really is it’s own tale, that feels very Pokémon, not overly dark.. it completely feels like a legit pokémon game!  Which is nice for a change!  Fan games are either a lot darker or a lot sillier but this one gets the balance right.  Plus it does make me feel like a princess.

Pretty Princess, Silly Subjects

The game has been made by a fairly large group of people under the group of Norfolk Gaming.  They manage to create one of the best Pokémon regions I had the joy of playing trough. You bounce all across the map, unlock items to replace HM’s that willl grand you access to some part of the world but that path isn’t always in front of you. It really has puzzle elements and travel elements that remind me of Johto  and Hoenn and I mean that in the best way possible. We aren’t just walking circles, we trigger events that allow us to traverse a dynamic map! The battles are great , with trainers being much less bound to typings , unless it makes no sense otherwise (Swimmers due stick to water pokémon). The world feels alive, even bug catchers know to carry a pokémon that covers their weakness or so. 

As a result the game forces you to keep switching around in battles, healing items are a lot more sparce at least early in the game and revives aren’t available until after the fourth gym, which already is around the late level 30’s or early 40’s. This means the challenge isn’t so much in incredibly hard battles that constantly forces you to carry teams that are super effective against a specific type of trainer or gym leader, but rather invites you to build ONE team that covers everything and has some synergy amongst each other.. this is how I think Pokémon should be. I don’t enjoy those Kaizo roms. This makes you think.. yet still allows you to have fun and choose your own team…as long as it is at least semi functional. There aren’t much non functional Pokémon available anyway. No one would use shuckle for a game playthrough so why put it in the game… that’s this games motto and it makes  things great. The Temporal Pokémon, the special variants have super fun mechanics and puzzles are never a hassle so when it comes to your journey it’s such a delight.

For all the gameplay talent these developers had in their stable, they sincerely lacked pixel artists, their custom sprite work is  not good. When you see King Arthur for the first time you think… Oh boy.. this is gonna be a rough one… but no the game is great.. just the sprite work….and the name creativity I guess.   The third gym leader is a pirate, which for example uses Drake’s sprite.. but with a pirate head added to it.. but it doesn’t bland because colours aren’t adjusted. It just shows the creators aren’t sprite artists at all and at times it can really show compared to how polished the game is otherwise.  Most Temporal Pokémon are just recolours and they don’t always work.. with some great exceptions like my Hakomo’o!  Pink armored dragon yay!  But yes.. sprites can look a bit wonky and on area’s with special tiles the game can drop frames quite a bit. Which will be a constant reminder that this is a fan game, which is not a bad thing.. but some of these sprites would litterally take a minute or two to fix.. like Pirate Drake, or even King Arthur, he looks nothing like his back sprite or overworld variant.

Fit for a Queen

Like the models, the writing can be a bit hokey at times as well, plot twists are REALLY obvious and names of things are a bit to on the nose, no Morgana is not the leader of the evil team .. it’s still just names but seemingly innocent lines characters spout clearly show a hidden intention that is not revealed until much later.  There is a time travel element to this story that really reminded me of a movie about a time travelling prince, in fact the plot of this game is eerily similar to that movie.. but pokémonified.  It is not bad by any means but it is very by the numbers. It makes sense as a plot..but maybe it makes too much sense?! Every character has a counterpart it seems in the regular Pokémon world with your dad being a bit like the way Oak was originally intended and your brother being a Gary, even though his sprite is Hau… given how his mother and father look.. Hau did that happen *badum tsss quack*  While I point it out as a negative, this is really in line with how normal pokémon stories unfold though… and besides the lack of creativity here and there.. I really have no gripes with this game.

So much suddenly makes sense in this game, people actively mention that they would not like strangers in their house, but they welcome the Princess.. who may very well be their new queen, people are very friendly and helpful to you in this world as you are a somebody in this world.  So it’s not just.. “hey look a random 10 year old.. let’s give him a bike” .. no it’s OMA (Oh my Arceus)  the princess just walked into my bike store.. here have one of my bikes!  The whole Pokémon League and elite four thing is also much more a test to see if the Royal family is ready to defend the region! An elite four makes a lot more sense in a scenario like that.. as it is the gateway to a final tournament. People acknowledge that some parts of the world are more dangerous and have more dangerous pokémon so these areas are shielded from people who do not have enough badges, rather than them being locked because there is a sleeping pokemon in the way.

Areas and routes have much more a type bias with route 1 having bug and normal types, while route 2 may have some water pokémon and maybe some flying types.. The game starts you out with picking from a Dark, Fighting, Psychic core, with Zorua , Riolu and Espurr rather than the standard Grass Water Fire Core, which allows the routes to be more dynamic. Rather than hunting for random Pokémon you can hunt route 3 for a grass addition to your team, route 12 for a good ground type etc. This means you can build your party much , much more intentional with less clutter Pokémon. The Temporal Pokémon can diverge from these  biases though as do other event pokémon, which usually are good against upcoming gym leaders which makes exploring often worth your while as well, while the more generic pokémon you encounter often struggle against the gym leader.  For example when you cross the haunted forest, you’ll face the dark type gym leader next, when you travel through a rock Pokémon filled cave, you’ll fight the ground leader next.  However in case of the latter, you can find some event based water type pokémon by going off the beaten path!  I love this format! 

At the end of each track to a new town you encounter a repeatable trainer that can be challenged over and over again… so say you are stuck on the dark type leader you can go back to the route where you can find a lot of bugs or fighting pokémon, add it to your party then head back to the trainer right before the gym and repeat to make use of your exp share and level up your counter against said leader. Grinding can be knocked out within an hour that way meaning that even if you swap out your party a lot, you won’t end up putting THAT much time into grinding.. the game features a nifty speed up button that makes most grinding a matter of .. 30 minutes (provided you grind with at least some semblance of a plan).  I managed to beat the game in 5 evenings of playing with  the final stretch being a nice weekend day with a game I loved. This game has so many great ideas that it is worth picking up, and even if it doesn’t always stick to the landing of things it tries to achieve.. this game is a really great fit for any pokémon gamer who just wants another pokémon game! It might not be a Royal Flush.. but it is certainly a full house Queens over Kings!